Friends s06e02 Episode Script

Did everything go okay with the annulment? No problems.
It's all taken care of.
Ross, thank you.
Want to go see a movie? Yeah, why not? I'll get my sweater.
Want to hear something weird? Always.
I didn't get the annulment.
What? We're still married.
Don't tell Rachel.
See you later.
Do you have any gum? Wait! Wait! Ross, can I just talk to you for just a second? We'll be late for the movie.
There's a cab.
Taxi! That's great.
What timing! My God, huh? There you go.
We're gonna walk.
It's right at the Angelika.
The Angelika! Go! Go! You didn't get the annulment?! I know.
I tried, but when I got to my lawyer's office, all I heard was: "Three divorces! Three divorces! " I just don't want my tombstone to read "Ross Geller: Three Divorces.
" Don't worry about that.
Your tombstone can say whatever you want.
It can say, "Ross Geller: Good at Marriage.
" You know what? Mine's gonna say, "Phoebe Buffay: Buried Alive.
" All I know is, I can't have another failed marriage.
So you're gonna be married to a girl who doesn't even know about it? Woman.
Sorry.
Okay, so I don't have it all worked out quite yet.
Just don't say anything to Rachel.
Rachel is one of my closest friends.
But being the only one that knows about this makes me feel special.
Okay.
Okay, stop, stop! Phoebe? Hey, Rach! What was that? Sorry.
Mix-up.
How was the movie? I haven't seen it yet.
You'd better hurry.
The Angelika! Go! The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Gelula/SDI When I move in, can I get a gumball machine? Of course.
Joey wouldn't let you have one? No, when it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict.
Did you tell him you're moving out? No, I keep trying.
And I can get out "Joey, I have to--" Then I lose my nerve and I finish with "--go to the bathroom.
" He may think I'm sick.
I have to tell Rachel, but.
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We just gotta get it over with.
Next time we see them, we'll just tell them.
That's it.
That's how it'll work now? You'll just order me around? -Pretty much.
-All right.
Hey, man, you feeling better? We have something to tell you.
Oh, my God! You're pregnant! No! Look, Joe, here's the thing.
Monica and I have decided to live together, here.
I'm gonna be moving out, man.
I'm really happy for you guys.
Congratulations.
See you later.
Are you okay? I gotta go.
I've got an acting job.
Like you'd believe that.
This sucks! I'll be across the hall.
And I promise you.
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the minute Monica and I break up, I'm moving right back in.
If you're gonna move in with him.
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I feel it is my responsibility to tell you the truth about him.
He's a terrible roommate.
Terrible.
He forgets to.
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He always, he always.
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Who am I kidding? He's the best roommate! Hey, Pheebs.
Have you seen Rachel? -No, why? -I have some exciting news.
You're pregnant.
No! Chandler and I are moving in together.
Oh, that's good! But if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint, Phoebe.
What's up? Chandler and I are moving in together.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my little sister and my best friend.
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shacking up.
That's great.
That's great.
Guys, I'm happy too.
Okay, come here.
Big day, huh? People moving in.
People getting annulled.
I gotta go find Rachel.
If you see her, give her some really bad news, so mine doesn't seem so bad.
Something bad to tell Rachel.
Bad news for Rachel.
What could that be? Can you just lay off, please? My life is an embarrassment.
I should just go live under somebody's stairs.
It's not that big a deal.
You'll have been divorced three times.
You'll have a life, you'll date-- No, I won't.
I'll be at the bottom of the dating barrel now.
The only guys below me will be Four-Divorce Guy.
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Murderer Guy.
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and geologists.
Ross, you're being ridiculous.
You are cute and smart and sweet.
That is much more important than three stupid divorces.
Have you dated anyone who's been divorced three times? That's not fair.
Most guys that have been divorced three times are 60.
Nobody cares about this except you.
This embarrassment thing is all in your head.
-Here, I'll show you.
Come here.
-What? Hi.
My friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time.
But wouldn't you date him? And if you wait right here, I'll go get Ross.
Thought you were Rachel.
What gave me away? I gotta tell her.
I told Ross and Phoebe.
She's the only one left.
It's official.
We're moving in together.
No turning back.
Are you scared? Are you?! No.
That was my scariest voice.
You're brave.
The worst day.
You're finally making progress at work, then your boss calls you Racquel.
Listen, for the first four years of my work, everybody called me.
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-Seriously.
-I believe you.
It was in the middle of a meeting, so no one wants to correct her.
So everyone's calling me Racquel.
By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky.
Well, I still think you're very, very nice and very pretty.
What? All yours, babe.
Have a seat.
Listen, Chandler and l.
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are going to live together.
Here.
Oh, my God.
That's so great! I'm so happy for you guys! Really? And that was so sweet of you to ask.
The three of us are gonna have such a good time living together! Yes, we are.
Chandler, you'll have to watch those long showers you take.
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because you know Racquel can't be late.
He'll work on that.
This is so exciting! Come and knock on our door We'll be waiting for you See? Once you know the stories, it's not that bad.
First marriage: Wife's hidden sexuality.
Not my fault.
Second marriage: Said the wrong name at the altar.
A little my fault.
Third marriage: They shouldn't let you get married.
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when you're drunk and have writing on your face.
Nevada's fault.
So what do you think, ladies? Who wouldn't want to date him? The divorces don't bother me.
I'd date him.
But not while he's still married.
And you, wouldn't you want to date? I'm not dating at all anymore.
I was only dating guys that were bad for me.
So I decided that-- Good.
Good.
Whatever.
And you, Meg? Well, I don't care about the divorces, either.
But I wouldn't date him.
It's just that he's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
What? She said, "He's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
" This is crazy.
I mean, yes, Rachel is my good friend.
And I have loved her in the past.
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but now, she is just my wife.
Phoebe, will you help me out here? Well, I thought you loved her when you married her.
We were drunk! I would've married Joey with that amount of alcohol.
You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani! I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong.
I just don't want to be divorced three times.
Now he's using this three-divorces reason.
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because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her.
I must say, well done.
Bravo, Meg.
Fine.
If this is what you think, forget about.
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the whole three-divorce thing.
I'll go to my lawyer's office right now and get this marriage annulled.
She means nothing to me.
Nothing! Okay, now I wouldn't date you because you seem a little creepy.
I am so attracted to him right now.
When will we tell Rachel what actually will happen? Soon.
I just couldn't before.
You saw how upset Joey got.
I couldn't do it.
She's my best friend.
Joey's my best friend.
I'm not your best friend? You just said--! Of course, you're my best friend.
Would you tell Rachel? All right.
At least I'm prepared.
Oh, yes.
-They're not for you.
Are you upset? -I am now.
Hey, roomie.
Okay, bye.
There's something important I have to tell you.
Are you pregnant? No, but I'm throwing this shirt away.
I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
When I said that Chandler and I wanted to live together.
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we meant alone together.
Oh, my God.
That's funny.
I can't believe I did that.
No, sweetie.
You know what? This is my fault.
I wasn't clear.
I'm really sorry.
Listen, you take as much time as you need to move out, okay? There's absolutely no rush.
Okay.
Don't you want a cookie? Sure.
Thanks.
Do you need a tissue? -Where did you get these? -I made them.
Oh, God, they're so yummy! It's gonna be weird when I come home and you're not here.
No more Joey and Chan's.
No more J and C's.
Want to go to Joey and Chandler's? Can't.
It's not there.
I'll be across the hall.
We can still do all the same stuff.
We won't be able to have those long talks at night.
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about our feelings and the future.
Not once did we do that.
I told Rachel that it's just gonna be the two of us.
Oh, yeah? Well, how'd she take it? Really well.
Surprisingly well.
She didn't cry.
She wasn't angry or sad.
And you're upset because you didn't make your best friend cry? All I'm asking for is a little emotion.
Is that too much to ask after six years? What, are Rachel and I not as close as you guys? I mean, did we not have as much fun? Don't I deserve a few tears? When we told Joey, he cried his eyes out.
I did not cry my eyes out! Come on, it's like the end of an era.
No more J-Man and Channy's! Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that? You got married again? Yes.
So that's your second marriage in two years? Yes.
Second in two years.
Third, overall.
I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years.
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and never have I had so much business from one client.
Why don't you tell me what happened? Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas, and we got drunk.
I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel whose name you said.
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at the altar in the second marriage? Yes, yes, yes.
But I do not love her.
That's better then.
This was just a drunken mistake, and I need to get it annulled.
I see.
Have you considered therapy? I think just the annulment for today.
-There are some forms to fill out.
-Easy.
We'll need witnesses who can testify that you were not of sound mind.
No problem.
We'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
There's no way to do this without her? Because I kind of already told her it was taken care of.
Of course you did.
Look, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
What about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy.
So I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Okay.
No point in dragging it out.
Dragging out the long process of you moving out.
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and us not living together anymore.
What about this? Who gets this? I don't know if I want it because it might be too many memories.
-What is that? -I don't know.
How about this? I want you to have the big plate.
Wow, Monica, thanks.
I love this plate.
Something to remember me by.
Mon, you're not dying.
I'm just moving out.
We're gonna see each other all the time.
But still, it's a big change.
The end of an era, you might say.
Are you okay? You're not blinking.
I'm fine.
I was thinking about how it's an end of an era.
Oh, all right.
But I gotta say, I don't think six years counts as an era.
An era is defined as a significant period of time.
It was significant for me.
Maybe it wasn't significant to you! -What is the matter with you? -What is the matter with you?! Why aren't you more upset? Aren't you gonna be sad that we're not living together? Aren't you gonna miss me at all? Monica, all right.
But don't get mad at me.
It's just a little hard to believe.
What's hard to believe? I mean, it's you guys.
You do this kind of stuff, you know? You were gonna get married in Vegas, and then you backed out.
I'm not upset because I don't see you going through with it.
I'm sorry.
It's going to happen.
Chandler will move in here.
-But l-- -I know, just let me finish, okay? This isn't something that we just impulsively decided to do in Vegas.
This is something that we both really want.
And it is going to happen.
It is? Really? Yeah, sweetie.
You mean, we're not gonna live together anymore? Oh, my God.
I'm gonna miss you so much.
I'm gonna miss you.
I mean, it's the end of an era! I know! -Okay, bye.
-Oh, no.
So did you get the annulment? I couldn't.
I knew it.
Because you love Rachel.
It's not that.
Annulments are more complicated-- Complicated because of the love.
I do not love Rachel.
I'm telling her about the whole thing.
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so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible.
Would I do that if I loved her? I've never been more convinced of your love for her.
I do not have feelings for Rachel, okay? Oh, what's wrong? Monica and Chandler are moving in here.
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and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Oh, my God, come here, come here.
It's okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Thank you.
Of course.
So Ross and Rachel got married.
Monica and Chandler almost got married.
You think we should hook up? Oh, we do.
But not just yet.
Really? Well, when? Well, first Chandler and Monica will get married.
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and be filthy rich, by the way.
But it won't work out.
I know.
Then I'll marry Chandler for the money.
And you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Great.
But then we ditch them and we get married.
We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids.
Getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem.
What about Ross? I don't want to go into the whole thing.
But we have words and I kill him.