Frisky Dingo (2006) s01e09 Episode Script
The Odd Couple
1 Previously on Frisky Dingo Phil! Philip, I'm blind! Well, still gonna have to sue ya.
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Oh, Arthur! Tell him his dad was an American hero! Clear the thoroughfare! Blind pedestrian! Hello? [Engine roars.]
KILLFACE: Ohh! Hi, I'm Barnaby Jones.
Barnaby Jones? - Yeah.
- Come live with me.
Piping hot hell in a bloody hatbox.
Ooh That was Phil's bun snacking lawyer.
They've put a lien on the Annihilatrix and started a salvage company.
They're down there right now parting it out.
I have to get down there and stop them.
Hey, can you get some more of these bread and butter guys? - Barnaby, this is important.
- We are out.
I have to get down there and Sinn's God knows where.
- Gotta have 'em.
- You watch Simon for me.
- Um, you going down there like that? - Like what? - Um, you know, blind.
- Oh, the minivan's got GPS.
- Really? How do you like it? - It's pretty great.
From NASA.
STAN: How hard is that, you panking idiots? One simple test, that's all.
- Kill Xander Crews.
- Yeah, that's right.
How did he even escape anyway? We're dealing with that internally, X.
Inter--I'll deal with you internally.
[Collective gasp.]
Yeah, you better gasp collectively, because until you find Xander Crews, I'm gonna blow one of your heads off every hour.
Oh, my f-ing God.
- Every hour? - What are we gonna do? First of all, maybe we shouldn't have agreed to have remote-controlled explosives put in our necks.
Well, where were you at contract time, huh? - Your mom's house.
- [Cocks gun.]
- Cleaning! Dude, I was only cleaning.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
Her vagina.
[All yelling.]
Guys, guys! Hey, come on, where is this love? - Shut up! - Hey, this is all your fault! Yeah, letting him get your damn pants.
Yes, but our pants all having the GPS.
ALL: Oh, right.
So as long as Crews have on pants we have Crews.
ALL: Ooh That is sweet.
[Beeping.]
Huh? What? [Mumbling.]
You like what I got, baby Don't test me 'Cause I am taking a shower 'Cause I am all messy That's what I'm about to do When I'm skeet all over the soap dish Hey, Casper if you see my robot pants out there, don't mess with 'em, man.
I will beat your ass.
You hear me? Oh, that's soap Well, I'm telling you how it is 'Cause it's in my eyes Soap is in my eyes! [Horn sounds.]
KILLFACE: But that's my Annihilatrix.
Well, this is my drive-on list and you ain't on it so piss off.
Oh, oh, oh, oh - You are lucky I'm blind.
- Yeah, so's your mirror.
My--? That doesn't even make sense.
Eh Did, uh, Awesome X seem kind of weird to you guys? - Probably just the mustache.
- Yeah, mustaches are cool.
- Magnum P.
l.
! - Rick Simon! Also had one.
Dude, we have got to do this.
- Mm I don't know.
- What? You know, I-- | don't think we have enough time.
[KB-boom.]
We got a whole hour.
What do you mean he's gone? L-- | don't know how else you would like me to put that.
And how did he get your pants, Barnaby? - Apparently-- - Did you touch him? - What? - Oh, God! - I was in the shower! - Barnaby! Which, last time I checked, is not a crime.
- Oh, God! - By the way, nice shower.
- No, no, no! He's taken the knives! - Knives? Pet shops! Notify all the pet shops! Dude, calm My God, it's Arizona all over again! Look at me! Orlisten at me.
We are gonna get through this! - SINN: What the-- - Aah! Calm down! You ain't got no pants on! What is going on here? - Sinn! - Woo, you scared me.
- Woman, where have you been? - Arthur had to go live in the ocean.
This is all I have left of him.
Is that one of Wally's eggs? You gotta get that in some sand.
How do you know his name? Who is--is there a person named that? - Yes.
- I don't know that.
- Now, who are you? - Sinn, Simon is gone.
He took the knives! Oh, my God! I'll call the pet shops! Actually, no, don't bother, because you are sacked.
- What? - Yes, meet your replacement-- Barnaby Jones.
- Barnaby who? - Jones--don't wear it out.
- Look, Barnaby, she's still here.
- So that's it? - Could have sworn I just sacked you.
- After all these years? Well, you just mark my words.
There's something fishy about your new little friend and if you can't see that then you, sir, are a damn fool.
- Well, your boyfriend's dead.
- Yeah.
He's not.
He's in the ocean.
Ha! No, he's probably dead.
Ow! Stop it! Well, then, I'll see you both in hell.
Ye-ouch! [Door closing.]
Barnaby, what have I done? Can't believe I just fired her.
I can't believe Watley hit that.
How do you know Watley's name? - Hey, we should go find your kid.
- Oh, right.
Hell, man.
What the hell you doing? You're not telling me you're not gonna buy food.
Come on, now, how you gonna feed these damn bunnies? What the hell are you wearing? Are you on your way to the moon? M-m-m Sounds like you in Iraq.
Look at me, I'm tired of talking to you.
Get the [beep.]
out of my store.
Go on to the moon with your sharp ass.
- Dude, uh what are you doing? - What? What's with you and hogging green? - Get your own green.
- What is that? What's that even supposed to be? - Little ashtray.
- For who? - It's, uh, for my mom.
- What? Diane still smokes? Ahem, yeah.
Right in the, uh, you know, uh, little neck hole.
- Dude.
- I know.
- Dude, seriously.
- Dude, I know.
MY [Bleep.]
mom.
- Seriously, dude.
- I know.
- Dude, seriously-- - Dude, I know! - Hey, hey, what's-- - Wait.
I'm getting two signals on here.
Who the crap's on our GPS channel? GPS: Pet store is ahead on the right.
Turning right, disembodied GPS lady.
No, no, no! - GPS: In two - CREWS: Would you please let me drive? No! It'll void my insurance! - What? No, it won't.
- Are you sure? - That's rental cars! - Oh! - GPS: Collision.
Rental cars.
You can rent cars? You--you don't know how to do anything! I know how not to let my son run off in robot pants with a fistful of knives.
Yeah, you're a fantastic parent.
[Tires squeal.]
GPS: Gums- You take that back.
L-- Sorry.
GPS: Collision.
[sighs.]
- GPS: Coll-- - This is hopeless.
Don't worry, man.
At his age, I was, like, chronic masturbator- Kinda still am-- But the point is, I like it.
I would like to masturbate right now in this car, you know.
If I had my stuff with me, I would.
What are we even talking about? I'm talking about searching for Simon.
- Oh.
- Can't do it without eyes, Barnaby! Well, I actually have some thoughts on that.
CREWS: All right, can you do the fifth line down? MAN: F-E-E-E and D.
That's a funny alphabet.
Yeah, it is funny.
Next line.
Can't see that.
It's too small for Nearl.
- 20-30? - Close enough? NEARL: What are you doing? CREWS: Son of a bitch! What's happening? Talk to me, Barnaby! You shot me in my son-of-a-bitchin' eyes! - That's a bad word! - How are you not dead? - I don't know! It must have just-- - NEARL: Oh, no! grazed them.
- Oh, God, sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Really hurts! Your eyes are bleeding.
- Neafl'? - I'm Nearâ.
! Also sorry to you about trying to steal your eyes and all, but, um - That guy got hurt.
- Do you mind driving us home? - OK.
- Well, B-F-F Nearl.
Really hurts! Ow! - [Sniffs.]
Did he steal it? - Yeah, I think so.
That's a pickle.
Oh, we were supposed to get pickles.
[Mumbling.]
Guys, come on, he's right outside.
Wait, my paint's not dry! I told you not to glob it on like that.
God - Please enter your destination.
- Bad motels, shirt tails also.
- Please enter your destination.
- France.
That's not Crews.
That's Nearl, the local retarded wino guy.
Well, yeah, right now.
- Hey, Nearl.
- I am Nearl.
- Want to make 50 bucks? - OK.
[KB-boom.]
Ah ha ha! Ah, he scared me.
Wait, wait, wait.
Shh, shh, shh.
You smell that? Yeah, it's called piss and garbage.
Nice cane work.
It's your fault Simon's missing - Tapping away.
- So I can really do with a bit less attitude - closer to our goal - from you.
Of wherever we are, piss town, 'cause you blew my eyes out! - I just grazed them! - Feel froggy, Kermit? Don't mess with the dog, baby.
You don't want to get bitten.
Can't penetrate it.
Hey, you blind guys, you want ride? Oh, God, thank you.
Yes, please.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, trusty rusty.
- Who are you? - Uh - The bus! - OK, they are the bus.
KILLFACE: Blind passengers coming aboard.
Move.
[Sniffing.]
This bus could use a Stick-Up.
[Sniffing.]
Yeah, it smells like - Oh! - Smells like shattered dreams.
Demon retime + .
srt convert: agi24cz
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Oh, Arthur! Tell him his dad was an American hero! Clear the thoroughfare! Blind pedestrian! Hello? [Engine roars.]
KILLFACE: Ohh! Hi, I'm Barnaby Jones.
Barnaby Jones? - Yeah.
- Come live with me.
Piping hot hell in a bloody hatbox.
Ooh That was Phil's bun snacking lawyer.
They've put a lien on the Annihilatrix and started a salvage company.
They're down there right now parting it out.
I have to get down there and stop them.
Hey, can you get some more of these bread and butter guys? - Barnaby, this is important.
- We are out.
I have to get down there and Sinn's God knows where.
- Gotta have 'em.
- You watch Simon for me.
- Um, you going down there like that? - Like what? - Um, you know, blind.
- Oh, the minivan's got GPS.
- Really? How do you like it? - It's pretty great.
From NASA.
STAN: How hard is that, you panking idiots? One simple test, that's all.
- Kill Xander Crews.
- Yeah, that's right.
How did he even escape anyway? We're dealing with that internally, X.
Inter--I'll deal with you internally.
[Collective gasp.]
Yeah, you better gasp collectively, because until you find Xander Crews, I'm gonna blow one of your heads off every hour.
Oh, my f-ing God.
- Every hour? - What are we gonna do? First of all, maybe we shouldn't have agreed to have remote-controlled explosives put in our necks.
Well, where were you at contract time, huh? - Your mom's house.
- [Cocks gun.]
- Cleaning! Dude, I was only cleaning.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
Her vagina.
[All yelling.]
Guys, guys! Hey, come on, where is this love? - Shut up! - Hey, this is all your fault! Yeah, letting him get your damn pants.
Yes, but our pants all having the GPS.
ALL: Oh, right.
So as long as Crews have on pants we have Crews.
ALL: Ooh That is sweet.
[Beeping.]
Huh? What? [Mumbling.]
You like what I got, baby Don't test me 'Cause I am taking a shower 'Cause I am all messy That's what I'm about to do When I'm skeet all over the soap dish Hey, Casper if you see my robot pants out there, don't mess with 'em, man.
I will beat your ass.
You hear me? Oh, that's soap Well, I'm telling you how it is 'Cause it's in my eyes Soap is in my eyes! [Horn sounds.]
KILLFACE: But that's my Annihilatrix.
Well, this is my drive-on list and you ain't on it so piss off.
Oh, oh, oh, oh - You are lucky I'm blind.
- Yeah, so's your mirror.
My--? That doesn't even make sense.
Eh Did, uh, Awesome X seem kind of weird to you guys? - Probably just the mustache.
- Yeah, mustaches are cool.
- Magnum P.
l.
! - Rick Simon! Also had one.
Dude, we have got to do this.
- Mm I don't know.
- What? You know, I-- | don't think we have enough time.
[KB-boom.]
We got a whole hour.
What do you mean he's gone? L-- | don't know how else you would like me to put that.
And how did he get your pants, Barnaby? - Apparently-- - Did you touch him? - What? - Oh, God! - I was in the shower! - Barnaby! Which, last time I checked, is not a crime.
- Oh, God! - By the way, nice shower.
- No, no, no! He's taken the knives! - Knives? Pet shops! Notify all the pet shops! Dude, calm My God, it's Arizona all over again! Look at me! Orlisten at me.
We are gonna get through this! - SINN: What the-- - Aah! Calm down! You ain't got no pants on! What is going on here? - Sinn! - Woo, you scared me.
- Woman, where have you been? - Arthur had to go live in the ocean.
This is all I have left of him.
Is that one of Wally's eggs? You gotta get that in some sand.
How do you know his name? Who is--is there a person named that? - Yes.
- I don't know that.
- Now, who are you? - Sinn, Simon is gone.
He took the knives! Oh, my God! I'll call the pet shops! Actually, no, don't bother, because you are sacked.
- What? - Yes, meet your replacement-- Barnaby Jones.
- Barnaby who? - Jones--don't wear it out.
- Look, Barnaby, she's still here.
- So that's it? - Could have sworn I just sacked you.
- After all these years? Well, you just mark my words.
There's something fishy about your new little friend and if you can't see that then you, sir, are a damn fool.
- Well, your boyfriend's dead.
- Yeah.
He's not.
He's in the ocean.
Ha! No, he's probably dead.
Ow! Stop it! Well, then, I'll see you both in hell.
Ye-ouch! [Door closing.]
Barnaby, what have I done? Can't believe I just fired her.
I can't believe Watley hit that.
How do you know Watley's name? - Hey, we should go find your kid.
- Oh, right.
Hell, man.
What the hell you doing? You're not telling me you're not gonna buy food.
Come on, now, how you gonna feed these damn bunnies? What the hell are you wearing? Are you on your way to the moon? M-m-m Sounds like you in Iraq.
Look at me, I'm tired of talking to you.
Get the [beep.]
out of my store.
Go on to the moon with your sharp ass.
- Dude, uh what are you doing? - What? What's with you and hogging green? - Get your own green.
- What is that? What's that even supposed to be? - Little ashtray.
- For who? - It's, uh, for my mom.
- What? Diane still smokes? Ahem, yeah.
Right in the, uh, you know, uh, little neck hole.
- Dude.
- I know.
- Dude, seriously.
- Dude, I know.
MY [Bleep.]
mom.
- Seriously, dude.
- I know.
- Dude, seriously-- - Dude, I know! - Hey, hey, what's-- - Wait.
I'm getting two signals on here.
Who the crap's on our GPS channel? GPS: Pet store is ahead on the right.
Turning right, disembodied GPS lady.
No, no, no! - GPS: In two - CREWS: Would you please let me drive? No! It'll void my insurance! - What? No, it won't.
- Are you sure? - That's rental cars! - Oh! - GPS: Collision.
Rental cars.
You can rent cars? You--you don't know how to do anything! I know how not to let my son run off in robot pants with a fistful of knives.
Yeah, you're a fantastic parent.
[Tires squeal.]
GPS: Gums- You take that back.
L-- Sorry.
GPS: Collision.
[sighs.]
- GPS: Coll-- - This is hopeless.
Don't worry, man.
At his age, I was, like, chronic masturbator- Kinda still am-- But the point is, I like it.
I would like to masturbate right now in this car, you know.
If I had my stuff with me, I would.
What are we even talking about? I'm talking about searching for Simon.
- Oh.
- Can't do it without eyes, Barnaby! Well, I actually have some thoughts on that.
CREWS: All right, can you do the fifth line down? MAN: F-E-E-E and D.
That's a funny alphabet.
Yeah, it is funny.
Next line.
Can't see that.
It's too small for Nearl.
- 20-30? - Close enough? NEARL: What are you doing? CREWS: Son of a bitch! What's happening? Talk to me, Barnaby! You shot me in my son-of-a-bitchin' eyes! - That's a bad word! - How are you not dead? - I don't know! It must have just-- - NEARL: Oh, no! grazed them.
- Oh, God, sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Really hurts! Your eyes are bleeding.
- Neafl'? - I'm Nearâ.
! Also sorry to you about trying to steal your eyes and all, but, um - That guy got hurt.
- Do you mind driving us home? - OK.
- Well, B-F-F Nearl.
Really hurts! Ow! - [Sniffs.]
Did he steal it? - Yeah, I think so.
That's a pickle.
Oh, we were supposed to get pickles.
[Mumbling.]
Guys, come on, he's right outside.
Wait, my paint's not dry! I told you not to glob it on like that.
God - Please enter your destination.
- Bad motels, shirt tails also.
- Please enter your destination.
- France.
That's not Crews.
That's Nearl, the local retarded wino guy.
Well, yeah, right now.
- Hey, Nearl.
- I am Nearl.
- Want to make 50 bucks? - OK.
[KB-boom.]
Ah ha ha! Ah, he scared me.
Wait, wait, wait.
Shh, shh, shh.
You smell that? Yeah, it's called piss and garbage.
Nice cane work.
It's your fault Simon's missing - Tapping away.
- So I can really do with a bit less attitude - closer to our goal - from you.
Of wherever we are, piss town, 'cause you blew my eyes out! - I just grazed them! - Feel froggy, Kermit? Don't mess with the dog, baby.
You don't want to get bitten.
Can't penetrate it.
Hey, you blind guys, you want ride? Oh, God, thank you.
Yes, please.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, trusty rusty.
- Who are you? - Uh - The bus! - OK, they are the bus.
KILLFACE: Blind passengers coming aboard.
Move.
[Sniffing.]
This bus could use a Stick-Up.
[Sniffing.]
Yeah, it smells like - Oh! - Smells like shattered dreams.
Demon retime + .
srt convert: agi24cz