Futurama Episode Scripts

N/A - Meanwhile

Two two, three Remember this place, Leela? Yep.
The moon.
It's been here for quite a while.
Yeah, but it's also where we came on our very first delivery together! Oh, right.
Man, we sure used to try harder back then.
Get your likeness in the form of a balloon sculpture! A cherished family keepsake for hours to come! One Leela, please.
And, uh, use your finest balloons.
Wow, you're good.
Five years of art school.
- Want a corndog? - Sure.
Then your mom should have bought you one.
- Ooh, fancy! - Hold tight! The Mecha-Hexadecapus is about to flail erratically into action! Whoa Oh, yeah Oh You know, I'm feeling a little Leela! Poor Leela! I never even told her I loved her! What?! You told her, like, a 140 times! Yeah, but she paid very little attention to me.
Oh, Bender! I always thought me and her would grow old together! You gotta live in the moment, baby! And in this moment, Leela's dead.
Sir, we have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is, we found your stuffed animal.
What's the bad news? Your wife is dead.
She wasn't my wife! Oh! Then there is no bad news.
Leela! You're alive! She gave her life to save mine.
Bender, can I come in and talk? I'm kinda busy.
Seeing Leela fly off the Hexadecapus and crash through the moon dome and survive inside a stuffed animal by breathing a balloon was a dose of reality.
Come in All this time, I've been wondering if I can spend my life with her.
But what I realize now is, I can't spend my life without her.
So, tomorrow, I'm asking her to marry me.
Uh-huh.
Good talk.
We're done here.
My little meatbag's growing up.
Computer, Jamaican Joy Juice, hot! G.
N.
, E.
! Behold the Time Button! A pocket-sized device that sends the entire universe ten seconds into the past! I will now demonstrate.
Joy Juice, hot.
Pretty cool, eh? I'm over here where I was ten seconds ago.
Something's cool? Show it to us! Whuh? Oh, right.
You were outside the button ball, so you don't remember a thing I said.
Let's try again, but this time, everyone cram into my time shelter.
Ooh, nice! It's coated with antichroniton-resistant grout to shield you from the effects of the button.
Come on.
Get in.
Hurry up.
Friends, I found a ten dollars! Ten dollars, you say? Let me see.
It fell off a man.
The man got into a taxi, but the money did not.
Friends, I found a ten dollars! You found some money? Show me.
Say, check out the money I found.
It fell off a chump! Hey, Professor, couldn't you go back in time as far as you want by pressing the button over and over? Certainly not! Each time the button sends you back ten seconds, it takes ten seconds to recharge.
There, it's recharged.
- Again, again! - Uh, question? What if you had a special moment that you wished could go on forever? Could the Time Button make it last as long as you wanted? Hell, no! This button is for scientific use only.
Uh, yes, I'd like an engagement diamond, please? You come to the right joint, ace.
I'll take this one.
Classy choice, chief.
She'll crap her pants.
That'll be five bills.
Hey, give me back my stones! Hello, stranger.
This is my first time here.
Do you sell diamonds? You come to the right joint, ace.
I guess what I'm saying is, the next time you almost die, I want it to be as my wife.
The clam, Elzar.
Clam, bam, thank you, ma'am! Fry? Wow Leela, my love will you? I'll have what she's having.
Oh, God! I ruined everything! I blew my one chance to Hey, wait a second! Clam, bam, thank you, ma'am! Fry? Wait! Allow me.
Leela, my love, will you marry me? Oh, my gosh! This is all so sudden after 13 years.
Don't answer yet! I want this to be a special moment, so I rented the roof garden on top of the tallest building in New New York.
- The Vampire State Building? - Uh huh.
If your answer's yes, be there tonight at 6:30, half hour before sunset.
And if my answer's no? Then just don't show up.
I'll get the message.
Big night, eh, Mr.
Fry? The biggest, Janà s.
Check this out.
What is that? Some kind of time button? Exactly.
If she says yes, I'll use it to make the sunset last as long as we want.
Strange things happen when the shadows lengthen.
Janitor to the 237th floor men's room.
Six o'clock.
She'll be here in half an hour.
I know she'll come.
I know it.
I really thought she was gonna come.
I traveled a thousand years forward in time, but without Leela, I have no future.
This is the end.
Good-bye, my love.
Leela?! Hey! It's only 6:25! So why does my watch say 7:03?! Of course! My watch is fast because it kept running every time I hit the button! So Leela's actually on time! Hi, Leela! Fry! It's okay, I'm gonna die happy! No, wait! I'll go back ten seconds till when I was on the roof! Rats.
Guess I was falling for more than ten seconds.
Hi, Leela! Fry! Everything's cool! Wait a second.
There's no possible way out of this situation! Help, help! Fry! I'm stuck in a loop! This isn't the moment I wanted to last forever! Careful.
This is the most valuable thing we've ever delivered.
Oop! Careful.
This is the most Quickly! Into the time shelter! Someone stole the Time Button, and they're pressing it every ten seconds! The universe is caught in a time loop! Then let's go out and stop them! Are you mad?! Because that would make two of us.
Ugh! You're right.
We'd never get anywhere.
We'd just keep jumping back to where we started.
Also, we'd die horribly! You see, we're shielded in here.
So if we leave the time shelter and the button gets pressed less than ten seconds later, the antichronitons wouldn't know where to send us back to! We'd be shredded across the time-space continuum like human coleslaw! Yum! Observe.
Aw Listen, I know who stole the button.
I wasn't gonna tell, because I don't like being helpful.
But I do like ratting people out, so it was Fry! He took it to the Vampire State Building.
We've got to get to him.
But how? We can't leave the time shelter.
Hooray! I'm trapped in a tiny fun room with friends! Man, falling from a great height an infinite number of times can be stressful.
At least I have Leela's comforting scream to look forward to.
Fry! - Fry! - Whuh? Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, stop! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry hurry, hurry, hurry My boyfriend gave me a diamond - Hurry, hurry, hurry - Oh! Fry! We're here to rescue you! Professor? Oops.
Fry! Professor? He's he's dead.
It does look that way.
My poor sweet puddle! The button! I can still save him! No, don't! You'll shred me into a zillion It worked! But you killed the Professor! Yeah, but it worked! I died.
I'm dead! I'm gonna die! Come on, come on.
Fry, what's happening? Did you fall off the building? Actually, that's kind of a funny story He sure has a lot of blood for a skinny guy.
And I didn't want to go on living without you, so I jumped, and, well Oh That's so sweet, Fry.
You know those dreams where you're falling, and right before you hit the ground you wake up? Those are great.
If only there were a way to make Fry land softly, this would all be over.
Ooh, I know! My airbag! Leela! I'm coming to save the day! Hang on, Fry! You're just one death away from being saved! And then we can be marry me? Okay, I'm gonna run out there.
Then, you guys form a human bus and crash into me at 40 miles an hour.
Ready? Go! We did it! Wh-What happened? Did I break the button? I think you broke the universe.
Everything but us is frozen.
What are we gonna do? First, I'm gonna get back these earrings I loaned Amy three years ago.
After that, I don't know.
This is surreal.
Whatever we want is ours for the taking.
Hello? Anyone? I guess it's just us for all eternity.
Listen, Leela, I'm not sure what kind of life we can make together in this frozen time-sicle, but if it's not too weird will you still marry me? I would marry you even if you weren't the last man on Earth.
- What was that? - I don't know but I'm scared.
Well, maybe we just need some rest.
We can get married in the morning.
Except there won't be morning.
We can worry about that in the morning.
Do I, Philip J.
Fry, take you, Turanga Leela, to be my lawful wedded wife? You do.
Do I, Turanga Leela, take you, Philip J.
Fry, to be my lawful wedded husband? Uh yes? Absolutely.
There it is again! Leave my wife alone, you glimmer! It's okay, Fry.
If it keeps bugging us, we'll either kill it or adopt it.
Meanwhile, what do you say we get started on a very, very, very long honeymoon? I think it's about time we drank the champagne Janàs poured all those years ago.
May I read the toast I was going to make? Go for it.
I'm in no rush, after walking up 240 flights of steps.
And across those oceans.
"To us.
"If I could make one moment last forever, this is the one I would choose.
" I'm glad you did.
It was a good life.
Kind of lonely, though? Maybe? I was never lonely.
Not even for a minute.
I guess we'll never figure out what that glimmer is.
Nope.
Pretty, though.
Hey, hey, wait it's doing something! I'll protect you.
Hi yow! Professor?! You're alive?! Yes, it's me.
Boy, did somebody hit you two with an old-and-ugly-stick.
I thought I killed you with the Time Button.
I thought so, too, at first.
But it seems I was simply rotated into an orthogonal time that runs at right angles to this one.
I've been tunneling for decades, searching every instant from yesterday to tomorrow.
We've been right now the whole time.
I wasn't looking for you, I was looking for the Time Button.
Oh! I landed on it and time froze.
I tried to fix it once, but then I got mad and hit it some more.
I guess it's good we didn't have children.
Oh, give me that, you senile old idiot! Oh, let me see that goes there lefty loosey, righty tighty, and fixed! What?! I could've fixed it that easily? You? Okay.
I've modded the device to release a single huge antichroniton blast.
It should rip us out of stasis, back to the instant before I conceived of the Time Button.
You mean we'll all get to live our lives over again? Oh, my, yes.
Even that nasty robot, what's-his-name.
Of course, we won't remember anything that's happened.
What do you say? Want to go around again? I do.

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