Gilmore Girls s05e19 Episode Script

But I'm a Gilmore

Founder's Day punch? Good morning, Vietnam!|How's everyone feeling today? Terrific.
Okay.
I got tacos, hard tacos, I got soft tacos I got fries: curly, straight, and spicy.
Are you serious? Trust me.
This is the best hangover food|on the east coast.
You got a Mars bar?|You know, hair of the dog? There's Pop-Tarts in the cabinet, Kirk.
Coffee will be up in a minute.
|Grab some water and start hydrating.
The smell of these tacos|is making me nauseous.
No, no, no.
That's the quart of Patty's non-FDA-approved Founder's Day punch|you drank last night.
- Eat a taco.
|- Thank God.
Hangover food.
That's my little college girl.
- Tito's was open this early?|- Well, it was for me.
The power you have over|fast-food owners is astonishing.
God, I think I'm gonna throw up.
No, I'm good.
By the way, thanks for leaving me|on the bathroom floor all night.
Hey, I tried to get you up.
- You actually used your foot to stop me.
|- I did? Yes.
It was very "House of Flying Daggers,"|but with vomiting.
Sorry.
I don't remember that,|the foot part.
- The vomiting part, however-|- Stop saying the word "vomiting" unless you want a Mr.
Creosote situation|on your hands here.
Oh, man, I think I got a cavity.
|I gotta stop partying like this.
- What are you looking for?|- My book bag.
- I believe it's in your room.
|- Room? - It's that way.
|- Right.
Hey.
I got you a beef burrito.
I thought it might be too hard-core|for the amateurs in the kitchen - but I figured you'd appreciate it.
|- Thanks.
- So, how are you feeling?|- I've been better.
- Yeah, you take aspirin?|- Aspirin? - White pill, big "A" on it.
|- Right, yep.
Here, before I forget, this fell out|of your pocket last night while you were pulling an "Exorcist.
" Paris gave it to me to hold,|so she wouldn't call Doyle.
She was the talk of the town this morning.
|Attacked the pretzel cart.
Police backup had to be called|for the first time ever.
- She was quite a mess.
|- So, apparently, it was a theme.
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
|Believe me.
You of all people should know the dangers|of the Founder's Day punch.
Did you learn nothing from Mommy's|"Coyote Ugly" bar dance at last year's|"Salute to the Quakers" festival? Now, you can't blame that all|on the punch.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm always up|for a little mother-daughter bonding.
But seriously,|when did facials go out of style? - I'm sorry.
|- I just don't like seeing you like that.
That makes two of us.
So, what was all that stuff|you were babbling on about last night? - What stuff?|- About Logan.
Things aren't going so well|with the two of you, huh? - I'm gonna get some coffee.
|- Rory.
I know.
Kitchen, that way.
Well, this is a surprise.
- Can I come in?|- Sure.
You want to sit down? Nope.
Got to stay vertical.
What? You have, like, an octagon-imprint|on your face.
- I can't do this anymore, Logan.
|- Do what? This casual dating thing, I don't like it.
It's not who I am|and I don't want to make it who I am.
Hold on here.
Where's this coming from? It's coming from me, the ravishing|creature standing in front of you.
- We talked about this.
|- I know.
I didn't make you do this.
I know.
I'm not accusing you of anything.
|This isn't your fault.
I don't understand.
I thought everything|was going well.
What do you mean?|I haven't heard from you in a week.
I was busy.
I had some friends in town You know what? It doesn't matter.
You're not my boyfriend.
|You don't owe me any explanations.
I just don't want to be|one of the many anymore.
Rory, come on.
- Hey, Logan, Cassandra's on the phone.
|- Take a message.
She's got a great accent.
|Where's she from? - Lanny, message!|- Fine, relax, man, jeez.
- Go call Cassandra back.
We're done here.
|- How are we done here? - I said everything I have to say.
|- Which is what? I'm a girlfriend girl, Logan.
|I have boyfriends, not escorts.
I thought I could be different.
|But I can't.
I'm sorry.
Maybe we can just go back|to being friends again.
Or maybe we can become - boyfriend and girlfriend, right?|- What? - I get it.
I get what you're doing.
|- I'm not doing anything.
If that's what you want,|just come out and say it.
But you coming in here,|issuing an ultimatum? I am not issuing an ultimatum.
- That's not what I heard.
|- I said, "Let's be friends.
" - That's not what you meant.
|- I need a taco.
All right.
Fine.
I'll do it.
- Do what?|- I'll be your boyfriend.
- You can't be my boyfriend.
|- Why not? Because you told me|that you can't be my boyfriend.
- If I say I can, then I can.
|- You have 100 girls on speed dial.
You keep a second bathrobe in your closet|for overnight guests.
That's all beside the point.
|You came in here to say you were unhappy|with the situation, right? - Right.
|- Fine.
I've rectified the situation.
Problem solved.
No, problem not solved.
Hey, if I say I can do this, I can do this.
Hey, Logan.
Thought maybe|I could get you to buy me some lunch.
I'm sorry.
Could you excuse us|for just a second? We're almost done here.
Sure.
I'll just wait out here.
So, the Swedish flight attendant|should be here any minute.
I swear this situation has never happened|before in my life.
- Logan-|- Rory.
Do you really want to stop seeing me? No, but I can't- 'Cause I don't want to stop seeing you.
- Okay, but-|- So then just accept what I'm saying.
I like trying new things.
|This is new, it's different, but I can do it.
Are you sure? I know you can do that, but- I really want to believe you.
Then believe me.
We're starting fresh|right now.
New beginning.
Do you want to go grab some lunch?|We'll hammer out the details.
I should probably change first.
Go home, change.
|I'll pick you up in half an hour.
Okay.
See how good this is going so far? I think|I'm gonna be an excellent boyfriend.
I agree.
Now do you want to go tell her,|or should I? Oh, crap.
I'll be right back.
- Doyle?|- Hey.
- What are you doing here?|- I'm dying.
- What do you mean you're dying?|- I got sick and then my very considerate roommates|kicked me out because they have exams.
- Oh, my God.
|- I didn't know where to go, so I came here.
- I called you first.
|- I was gone this weekend.
So I just came by.
I thought I'd wait till you got back.
|Then I fell asleep.
You've been here all weekend? I thought you were avoiding me.
- I'm sorry you're sick.
|- Feels like bees are buzzing in my head.
- Feel it.
|- What? - Feel my head.
|- Why? I just want you to know how hot I am.
Well, when you're hot, you're hot.
|When you're not, you're not.
That's how the song goes.
|Just follow the song.
I don't see what putting my hand|on your head is going to get you.
I'm not a shaman, Doyle.
|I don't have healing powers.
- Where are you going?|- I'll be right back.
Hold on a second.
It's for you.
It's Sookie.
She's done|with her doctor's appointment.
She say how she is? To someone who may have asked her,|I'm sure she would have.
- Hey, Sookie.
|- The bastard put me on bed rest.
What? Dr.
Mank, he told me|to lie down immediately and not to get up again|until little Cherry or Norret comes out.
Well, we'll get to the names in a second.
So, are you serious about the bed rest? - Where are you?|- I'm at home, on the couch.
- Are you okay?|- No, I'm not okay.
I have a dinner to get out.
Honey, I think we're gonna have|to do that without you.
- But how?|- Well, we have a kitchen staff.
You just tell me|what still needs to be done - and we will handle it.
|- Okay.
Get a pencil.
Okay, pencil in hand.
You need to grate six carrots|and four parsnips.
Then take some flour and butter.
|Melt the butter.
Make a roux.
What? Baby, you lost me at carrots which, by the way, was the first draft|of "You had me at hello.
" You had me at what?|What are you talking about? Sorry.
I see we've entered|the no-humor zone.
Just relax.
|I'm gonna take care of everything.
- The ducks!|- The ducks will be fine.
They're lying in a pan with their heads|chopped off.
So the worst part is behind them.
Now don't worry.
|Go rest, and I'll check in with you later.
- But-|- Happy hibernating.
- No Sookie?|- No Sookie.
Come on.
Okay, now tell me who does what|and what we need to keep things running.
Well, we need Sookie here.
Well, she's not gonna be here,|so let's go to plan B.
Okay, plan B.
That involves Sookie's clone,|also named Sookie.
- Well, who here makes the sauces?|- Sookie.
Who here, Michel? Sookie trusts no one else with the sauces.
She makes the sauces.
- Well, what does Mark make?|- Salads.
Okay, and Donny does desserts.
|What do our other guys do? Well, that man over there|does the cleaning.
That man over there dresses the plates.
|That man uses tongs and I have no idea|what that man in the corner does but I would check his trunk|before he leaves.
Without Sookie here,|we have salads and desserts? Pretty much.
We can't run a restaurant|serving just salads and desserts.
I would not go to eat, no.
Wait.
Okay, here we have duck.
|Who here does the duck? Nobody touches the ducks.
Well, starting now,|someone has to touch the duck.
I do not know what to tell you,|except it will not be me.
- Oh, this is bad, Michel.
|- I'm getting that, yes.
Well, we'll just figure something out,|right? Absolutely.
|Ain't no mountain high enough.
We'll just formulate a plan,|nail down a strategy.
You have any ideas? We could order some pizza|or Chinese food or perhaps one of those hoagies|that you cut into a million pieces.
No more suggestions necessary, Michel.
Well, I'm here if you need me.
- Luke's.
|- How pretty do you think I am? Are we using a specific day?|Have you had a good night's sleep? Sookie's doctor put her|on immediate bed rest I thought it'd be fine,|but no one will touch the ducks.
Michel wants to order a hoagie.
|I am starting to hyperventilate.
- I'm not wearing a stretchy fabric-|- I'll be right there.
- How's that headache of yours?|- Subsiding a little.
The mashed-potato-mac-and-cheese-|biscuit-gravy-plate combo helped a lot.
I have to say, half the fun|of being with you is the horrified looks on the waiters' faces.
Please, I'm an amateur|compared to my mother.
- What do you think, you up for a movie?|- Something really bad.
Absolutely.
Let's check the paper and see|if Rob Schneider's still employable.
I think I have a paper over here.
Well, look how long|you make a girl wait for you.
- Honor!|- You really think you're worth it.
- What are you doing here?|- Apparently, begging for some affection.
- It is so good to see you.
|- You, too.
- Listen, Logan, maybe I should go.
|- What? Oh, sorry.
God.
Rory, this is my sister,|Honor.
Honor, Rory Gilmore.
Sister? Really? Well, it's nice to meet you.
It's nice to meet you, too.
Hey, your sister's here.
Cool.
- What's the occasion?|- Well, I had to see you and since you never check your e-mail I had to drag myself down|and beg Lanny to let me in so I could show you this! Holy! - It happened last night.
|- Josh finally gave in, huh? Stop it.
He's lucky I ever looked at him|in the first place.
- Congratulations.
|- Listen, I need a favor.
I'm going to tell them|tomorrow night at dinner - and I need you there for support.
|- Come on.
I backed you when you wanted to take|a year off school and sail around the world.
I wired you the money|when you sunk the yacht.
I helped pay off|the Indonesian coast guard.
Okay, okay, I give.
I'll be there.
Thank you!|I love you, I love you, I love you.
Okay, now I can breathe and focus on you.
- Hi.
|- Hi.
I'm sorry.
I'm totally blanking.
|Your name is Rory.
Rory Gilmore.
Yeah, Rory's my girlfriend.
You okay over there? You need a little water or a time machine? I'm sorry.
Did you say girlfriend? - Yes.
|- It's new.
Oh, my God! I've never heard him call anyone|his girlfriend before.
Well, Alyssa Milano but he was 10 and in a weird|"Who's the Boss?" phase.
Wow, time flies when you're getting|pushed out the door.
Okay, I'm sorry.
|Listen, you must come to dinner, too.
No, really.
Come.
Please, come.
|It'll make it more festive and distracting.
We'll see.
Okay, fine.
I have to go.
I'll see you tomorrow night.
|Please don't be late.
I promise.
- Bye, Rory.
|- Bye.
And that is my sister.
- I like her.
|- Yeah, she's cool.
Listen, you do not have to take me|to dinner tomorrow.
It's a family thing.
I totally understand.
- No, you should come.
|- Logan.
Boyfriends bring their girlfriends|to their family's houses for dinner.
It's natural.
- How would you know?|- I saw it on "Who's the boss?" Now, let's find that paper.
There's the fridge.
Stove's over there.
|Grill's on the side.
Freezer's in back.
That's salad man, plate man, tongs guy check-his-trunk-before-he-leaves guy.
|Here are the ducks.
- Are you familiar with ducks?|- I'm familiar with ducks.
Not just familiar,|like you know what a duck is.
- Have you cooked duck?|- I can handle the ducks.
Relax.
Ducks handled.
Good.
Now, does Sookie have a menu,|notes, or Thanks.
- Me llamo Manny.
|- Manny.
Gracias, Manny.
Sookie said everything you need's|in that folder.
It's a little unorganized.
It wouldn't be Sookie's fault,|if it wasn't a little unorganized.
- So, what can I do to help?|- Nothing.
- Perfect answer.
|- Not without a hairnet.
Okay, I'll be out there if you need me.
He's right there.
- What's going on?|- I'm taking care of you.
You're Hey! This is Nanny.
|She only speaks Portuguese.
What's Portuguese for:|"Ow, you're ripping my chest hair out"? Clean shirt.
Got it.
What's she doing? What's that jar? She's got salve! Doyle, relax.
|Nanny took care of me for years.
Do you remember when Han Solo finds|Luke Skywalker in the snowstorm and he cuts open their dead tauntaun|to hide inside? That's what I smell like at this moment.
She makes that balm herself.
|I'm telling you, it's magic.
Paris, no offense to Nanny|and her magic healing balm but when I came over here,|I thought you would take care of me.
I am taking care of you.
|I brought you Nanny.
I don't want Nanny.
I'm scared of Nanny.
|Can't you just take it from here? - No.
|- Why? - Sick people freak me out.
|- You're pre-med! Paris.
Lie down.
You'll feel better soon.
|I promise.
Luke, Sookie.
- Hey, Sookie.
|- Hi! - Hi.
|- What are you doing? - I'm cooking.
|- Right, good.
Little test.
So, I was just checking in,|making sure everything was fine.
Everything is fine.
The ducks are working out for you? Ducks are selling like hot cakes.
Like hot cakes.
God, you are a funny guy.
|I just, I never realized.
So, I just wanted to tell you that I'm really gratefuI to you|for jumping in like this.
Happy to jump.
- Are you straining the sauce?|- Excuse me? - The duck sauce.
Are you straining it?|- Yes.
- Twice?|- No.
Well, it's really best if you strain it twice.
|It makes it really smooth.
People seem to be liking the sauce,|Sookie.
Well, sure, when you don't know|what you're missing, then- Okay, from now on,|I will strain the duck sauce twice three times, if it'll make you happy.
- No.
Then it'll be too runny.
|- Twice it is.
- Thank you.
|- You're welcome.
I got Sookie on the phone.
|You need to talk to her? Yes, actually, great.
I'm handing over to Lorelai.
Hey.
He's not straining|the duck sauce three times, is he? Not to my knowledge.
|Hey, Sookie, where are the applications? I don't know why you'd joke|about a thing like that.
Three times, that's not funny! Sookie.
The applications|from the Culinary Institute for your temporary replacement? - Are they not there?|- It depends on where there is.
They're around somewhere.
Check the freezer.
|Sometimes I like to read in there.
That's very Lucy of you.
- I'll call when I find them.
Now rest.
Bye.
|- Bye.
You know, I love watching you cook.
|It's hot.
'Cause you're standing next to the broiler.
Is that what we're calling it now? Not in front of the guys.
Please.
Fine.
I'll save my dirty cooking jokes|for later.
Yeah, I was just wondering if I could get you|to resubmit those applications.
Well, we seem to have misplaced them.
As soon as possible would be great.
Okay.
You can just fax them over.
|Thanks.
Bye.
- Hello? Is somebody there?|- Hey, Mom! Hey, Mom? That's it? You just gave me a heart attack.
|All you have to say is "Hey, Mom"? I thought you were a serial killer.
Who you were going to challenge|to a pillow fight? What are you doing here,|Sassy McSasserson? I needed some stuff.
- What stuff?|- My blue dress.
- What do you need your blue dress for?|- Okay.
I'm going to tell you something,|but when I do, you cannot say a word.
Why not? - Because I don't wanna hear it.
|- Hear what? - What you'll say.
|- How do you know what I'll say? Trust me.
I know.
Hey, I've been known to say|some very surprising things.
"Hugh, I know you're with|Elizabeth Hurley "but how about picking up a hooker|tonight?" That was me.
- Mom!|- Okay, fine.
Logan and I are now|boyfriend and girlfriend.
And I'm here because|I need my blue dress to wear to his parents' house tonight.
I went over to Logan's|apartment yesterday.
I told him that I didn't want to do|the casual dating thing anymore and that we should just go back|to being friends.
Instead, he decided to commit.
|Not a word.
Now, I know that things|may have started off a little rocky.
But I am very happy|with the way things are going and I think that in time, you will be, too.
I have everything I need.
|I have to get going.
Logan's picking me up at 6:00.
It was nice talking to you.
|Don't forget to breathe.
Good.
Add the parsley.
Get it out there.
- Kitchen.
|- Do you put walnuts in your béchamel? Sookie? - Do you put walnuts in your béchamel?|- No.
You don't put walnuts in your béchamel.
Sookie, I have things burning, so I- I thought I tasted walnuts.
|What things are you burning? What do you mean you tasted walnuts? You want to get fancy,|you can do that at your own diner.
My béchamel sauce is classic.
How are you tasting the béchamel? And, I don't remember|including goat cheese in the fenneI salad.
- How do you know what's in the salad?|- So you admit it.
You put goat cheese in the fennel salad.
Yeah, I put cheese in the salad it goes good in the salad,|and you had it sitting there.
And I also have some Brillo pads|sitting there.
You want to toss a couple of those|into the fennel salad, as well? - How do you know all this?|- I just assumed.
You just assumed I put goat cheese|in the fennel salad? And walnuts in the béchamel.
I did not put walnuts in- Sookie, are you having people|bring you my food? You are! You're calling here having people sneak food out|behind my back, so that you can taste it.
You paranoid or what?|Jeez, man, time for a vacation.
Hold on.
Okay, here's the deal.
|Announcement, please.
From this moment on there will be no more food|leaving the premises.
The food goes from here to the|dining room or upstairs and that is it.
No more food will leave the premises.
No quiero que ninguna comida|salga de este lugar.
Comprenden?|What about you? You "comprende?" That's my kitchen, Luke.
And it will be here waiting|when you get back.
Until then, sit back, relax,|and watch Ellen dance around.
- I got work to do.
|- Luke! - Hey, Paris.
|- Hey, Rory.
- I scare?|- No.
Yes.
Excuse me.
- There's a woman in my room?|- That's Nanny.
You know Nanny.
That makes me sad|that you don't remember Nanny.
She always liked you.
She's stripping my bed.
|Why is she doing that? She finally got Doyle to sleep,|and she has to do something.
The woman doesn't tire.
She's a machine.
What do you mean|she finally got Doyle to sleep? He's here.
|He's sick, so Nanny's taking care of him.
- Why aren't you doing it?|- Sick people freak me out.
- You're pre-med!|- I'm tired of having that thrown in my face.
Paris, could you please just get Nanny|out of my room? I have dinner with Logan tonight.
|I have to get ready.
- Logan? I thought you guys were-|- We were.
What happened? Well, I told him that I didn't think|things were working.
That we should just be friends.
|But he didn't want to be- - Just friends.
|- No, it seemed to wake him up.
So now he wants to give|commitment a try.
A commitment? With Logan? - Yep.
|- I don't believe it! You did it.
You landed the whale.
- You're Annette Benning.
|- I'm not Annette Benning.
It was just a matter of getting him|to focus on the situation.
Focus.
- She's gonna buff your shoes.
|- I need these.
My God, my room is clean! Where are my keys?|What did I do with my keys? Just your parents live here? Got them.
Well, I certainly hope the drainage is good.
Excuse me? If it's not good,|and you have pooling somewhere you may not know it for months.
I'll be sure and mention that to them.
- You look nervous.
|- Do I? - Just not so sure what I got you into.
|- What do you mean? My family's not gonna take|my sister's engagement too well.
And they can be|a little vicious when annoyed.
Hey, relax.
You do not|have to worry about me, at all.
Five years of Friday night dinners|have prepared me - for exactly this moment.
|- Really? Remind me to tell you about the time my mom climbed out|a second-story window to get away from my grandmother.
I will.
- Okay, ready?|- Ready.
You are late.
- Fifteen minutes.
|- It's awful.
A morgue.
It's like they already know|what I'm going to tell them.
You have been with Josh|for three years now.
I don't understand it.
|I told them you were coming because that usually makes Mom happy.
I told them you were bringing Rory|so they'd be on their company behavior.
But from the minute Josh and I walked|in that door, it's been Iceberg City.
Josh is completely panicked.
Shaking.
Wow.
Sorry.
Don't be sorry.
|Just get in here and stop it.
Remind me to tell you about the time my mother wore a shirt|with a rhinestone penis on it and my grandma had her car towed.
- Look at the ceiling!|- Come on.
- Have you seen this ceiling?|- Hurry! Well, look what the cat dragged in.
I'm sorry we're late, everyone.
It's all right, Logan.
|We're still waiting for your father.
Hey, Grandpa, nice to see you.
- Did you get those books I sent you?|- I did.
Thank you.
- Hey, Josh.
You're looking well.
|- You, too.
Everyone, I'd like you to meet|Rory Gilmore.
Hi.
It's really nice to meet you all.
|This house is amazing.
Seriously, there should be|a docent at the door.
Well, thank you, Rory.
You know Rory's grandparents, Mom,|Richard and Emily.
Yes, of course.
|How are Richard and Emily doing? - They're doing very well.
|- That's wonderful.
- So, you were at the wedding, right?|- Why, yes, we were.
It was lovely.
Emily certainly knows|how to plan an event.
That, she does.
I should send her a note.
Hey, Grandpa,|can I freshen your drink for you? I'm sorry.
|Can we get you something, Rory? I got it, Mom.
- Logan, I don't think-|- Club soda, Ace.
Thanks.
Apparently Mitchum is still at the office.
|We might as well start dinner.
So Come on, you'll feel better|when you have some food.
I'll feel better when we're leaving.
So sorry.
We owe you one.
- Is that a Velazquez?|- Come on.
It is! That's a Velazquez!|This house is so cool! So, I'm holding in my hand|one of our comment cards on which a particular person has written: "Best meal I've ever had.
|The duck was exceptional.
"The lamb chops were amazing.
|Ask the chef if he'll marry me.
" - What do you think?|- What does she look like? I didn't say it was a she.
- I'll stick with what I have.
|- Sweet.
I didn't know|you were making lamb chops.
Last-minute addition.
You know,|your kitchen crew here is great.
Mark, the salad guy, top-notch.
|Javier is one hell of a grill man and Manny, your sous-chef I'd kick Caesar out on his ass|if I could steal Manny.
You covet my kitchen staff.
|I'm feeling superior, and I like it.
Okay, guys, we need two sea basses,|one chicken and one pepper steak without the pepper,|go figure.
Where's Pedro going? I knew it.
Are you insane? - You wouldn't take my calls.
|- How long have you been up here? Since you made me promise that|no food would leave the premises.
Well, here I am, keeping my promises.
|Pedro, give me the ladle.
- Pedro, do not give her that ladle.
|- Give me the ladle, Pedro.
- Vente junto con migo, Pedro.
|- Yo soy su jefe, Pedro.
- You're scaring Pedro.
|- You're scaring Pedro.
All day long, things are disappearing.
|Salads are suddenly gone.
Lamb chops don't make it to the table.
I had to make sure you were doing it right.
You're supposed to be home! No! I'm supposed to be in bed.
|And I'm in bed.
You said that you would|double-strain the duck sauce and you, my friend,|are not double-straining.
There will be no more of this.
|No more calls.
No more questions.
No more ladles that leave that kitchen.
I don't care what bed you're in.
|That is between you and your husband and God, I hope, a qualified therapist.
But you will not interfere|with me anymore.
Period.
Give me that.
- So, Grandpa, how's the new boat?|- It's a boat.
It floats.
I hear it's beautiful.
|When are you gonna let me take it out? Now, Logan, you don't have the best track|record when it comes to boats.
Only other people's boats.
|Our boats are very safe.
We should do a summer trip.
|Maybe hit the Amalfi Coast again? All of us.
Rory, Josh, you, me.
Dad.
- Maria!|- Yes, sir.
It's too hot.
Bring me a salad.
I'll be right back.
- What?|- Mom's a stress smoker.
I don't understand why|everyone's so upset.
Josh seems fine.
The Huntzbergers aren't interested in fine.
- Sarah!|- Yes, Dad? - What time did Mitchum say he'd be here?|- I don't know.
He didn't say.
- Well, this is ridiculous.
|- Please, Dad.
We're all just gonna sit around this table|and pretend there's nothing going on? Let's just wait for Mitchum.
There are serious matters|to be discussed here.
This is an important family.
|Marrying into it is important business.
But, no, we can't discuss this|until Mitchum gets here.
What is this? Go away! Okay, I'm sorry.
I have to jump in here.
Grandpa, we all respect you|and Mom and Dad but the bottom line here|is Honor has to be happy.
Now, if she loves Josh, then- I appreciate you defending me,|but I can take it from here.
Mom, Grandpa, I had hoped that you|would be happy for me but obviously, that's not going to happen.
You didn't even let me announce it|before you formed an opinion.
I'm sorry you feel the way you do,|but Josh and I made it official last week.
We are engaged now,|and no matter what you say we are going to get married in June.
Of course you're going to get married.
|You've been dating for three years and I already put a hold on the Japanese|tea garden for next spring.
Well, that sounds great.
Thank you.
So, we should celebrate then.
We'll celebrate when we've finished|our discussion.
Which discussion? The discussion about unsuitable people|marrying into this family.
- What?|- I'll be right back.
You should know better than this, Logan.
I know you like to joke around|and tease us but I always thought,|at the end of the day you understood what your responsibilities|to this family were.
Mom, I suggest you come back|in here right now! Logan, you just haven't|thought about this.
I mean, I'm sure Rory understands.
She wants to work.
Isn't that right, Rory? Emily's always talking about you|wanting to be a reporter and travel around doing this and that.
A girl like Rory has no idea what it takes|to be in this family, Logan.
Oh, my God.
She wasn't raised that way.
|She wasn't bred for it.
This isn't at all about her mother.
It's just, you come from two|totally different worlds.
It would never work.
Not for you, and certainly not for us.
This conversation is gonna end right now.
|I'm not going to sit here- You are gonna be taking over|this company that's what you are gonna be doing.
|And when you do you're going to need|the right kind of person at your side.
- This isn't college, Logan.
|- Whatever happened to that Fallon girl? I loved her.
Do you talk anymore? No, we don't talk.
We never talked.
|You talked.
What a shame.
I just loved her.
Okay, let's go.
Logan, you have to understand you bring this girl home|without any warning at all and Honor tells us|you're calling her your girlfriend.
We have to take that seriously.
|Logan, come back here.
I don't understand.
They're psychotic.
|What more is there to understand? - Why don't they think I'm good enough?|- Rory.
I mean, I'm a Gilmore.
Do they know that? My ancestors came over|on the "Mayflower.
" Don't try and analyze it.
|There's no rhyme or reason.
I had a coming-out party.
|I went to Chilton and Yale.
Why are they okay with Josh?|He doesn't even say anything.
At least I noticed the Velazquez.
Josh isn't marrying the heir|of the Huntzberger fortune.
You are.
- I got to get out of here.
|- Logan.
Perfect.
Did they start dinner?|Is it some sort of precious fish dish because I'm dying for a steak.
You're Rory, I assume.
|Heard a lot about you.
- We're leaving.
|- What? Why? You know why.
I had a long day, Logan.
|Don't want to play games.
- Is dinner over?|- No.
The Huntzberger family shanghai is over.
Dinner, however, is still going on.
Okay.
What happened? Oh, no.
Why is your mother smoking? We have to go.
|I'm sure they'll fill you in on everything.
It was nice to meet you.
- Paris, come on in.
We're just chatting.
|- I see that.
I got to tell you, Paris, you're right.
|This stuff is magic.
She just taught me that.
- She's great.
|- Yes, she is.
- So, you seem better.
|- I am so much better.
Nanny's got me salving every four hours.
|I've steamed, I've had soup.
All I need is one more good NyQuil|knockout sleep and I'll be as good as new.
- Hey, could you?|- Oh, sure.
I got to tell you, Paris,|you're a life-saver.
Really.
Paris? Paris, the NyQuil.
Doyle, it's time we have a talk|about our relationship.
- But-|- Doyle! Focus.
- Hey, you in the hat.
|- Jackson, what- How dare you take a ladle|from a pregnant woman! Dr.
Mank very specifically said|that she needs to relax.
She cannot relax thinking you're in here|screwing up her sauce! I'm not.
While there's a very good chance you|could kill me in a fight, I do not care.
That woman is my wife,|and she is carrying my baby.
So, from now on, if she wants to talk,|you will talk.
If she wants to taste your food,|you will let her taste your food.
If she wants you to double-strain that|sauce, you will double-strain that sauce because I have to live with her, and if|she is upset, I will come over here and soundly kick your ass! That is, if you haven't killed me yet.
Hey! - Hey.
That's it.
I've had it.
|- You've had what? She's a crazy woman,|and now she's upstairs.
And ladles are mysteriously|flying out of the kitchen.
- Who's upstairs?|- Sookie's upstairs.
- Sookie's at home.
|- No, Sookie's supposed to be at home.
Then I didn't strain the sauce twice,|so she came here to drive me crazy and she brought|her loony husband with her.
Jackson's here? How am I missing all this? I don't know, and I don't care.
|I'm through.
I'm not taking this anymore.
What do you mean?|What are you gonna do? You want to know what I'm gonna do?|Nothing! Because I am in a relationship with you! You know very well I can't leave.
|All I can do is come out here, say I'm through and pretend I have a leg to stand on,|and then march back into that kitchen,|and keep doing the job.
I ought to be thinking about|what I would've done if we weren't in a relationship,|though that would mean I wouldn't be in this position|in the first place.
Excuse me.
If this is the eccentric-couple version of "The Amazing Race,"|I think you guys are winning.
Are we talking to her?|I don't think we're talking to her.
Hey, it's Lorelai.
Girlfriend of Luke.
|And we're not talking to Luke.
I'm talking to Lorelai.
How you doing? - Sookie, this is not bed rest.
|- My feet are up.
- I told you not to talk to her.
|- What is with the 'tude, cranky pants? - He's very mad at Luke.
|- I'm not Luke.
By extension, you are Luke.
Sookie, what were you doing at the Inn? Checking in on the restaurant.
|That's my job.
Not anymore.
Your job is bed rest.
Honey, easy on the bumps.
|Baby doesn't like the bumps.
Jackson, stop.
She and that boyfriend of hers,|bossiest couple in town.
Stop! At least let me ride.
Okay, go.
Sookie, you knew the day was coming|when you wouldn't be able to come in.
I had three weeks.
You never had any applications, did you? I meant to.
No one was good enough.
No one's as good as you,|but plenty of people are good enough.
We just need one of them.
|Just till you're back on your feet.
- I know.
|- Luke's not as good as you, either.
That kind of cooking's|a little fancy for him, but he tried.
Hey, he's not bad.
|He's pretty good, in fact.
- What does he put in these?|- What is that? His lamb chops.
They're amazing.
|I'm taking them home to study.
Well, you could have just asked him.
- He's mad at me.
|- We're mad at him.
We're all gonna stop|being mad at each other.
- Now, pull over.
|- Why? - 'Cause you live here.
|- Oh, yeah.
You know, Luke said that Manny|was doing pretty well.
I know.
I trained him.
You know, when I first met him,|he didn't know a gefilte from a chiffonade.
- Yeah, well, he's from New Jersey.
|- He picked it up quick.
Maybe he can take over while you're out.
|Keep it in the family.
He knows all your secrets.
Okay.
We'll go with Manny.
|He's a good guy.
I think that's a good idea.
- Thank Luke for me.
|- I will.
And find out what's in these lamb chops,|'cause they're driving me crazy.
I promise.
Jackson, get her inside|and don't let her move.
- Hey, how are you gonna get back?|- I thought I'd take the cart you guys stole.
- Perfect.
|- This all turned out pretty good.
So - okay if I just drop you here?|- Drop me here? Lights are on.
Paris is home.
I've had|about all the crazy I can for one evening.
Okay.
Sure.
You know we don't have to go in.
|We can go get something to eat.
- I'm not hungry.
|- Okay.
- I just want to walk a little, clear my head.
|- Okay.
I'll call you later.
- Tomorrow?|- Yeah, tomorrow.
Does it seem like Frodo is on every|fricking channel to you, or is it just me? God, I have never been this tired.
You were one hell of a white knight|today, baby.
Yes, I'm a regular Lancelot.
You starting to snooze? Do you want to go upstairs|or are you okay right here? Luke.
What did you put in the lamb chops? - Forget it.
|- Come on.
- Saved by the bell.
|- I'll be right back.
- Hello?|- You busy? What's wrong? Dinner was awful.
Hold on.
Okay, hit it.
Well, to make a long story short,|Logan's family hates me.
That's impossible.
It's like hating Thumper.
|No one hates Thumper.
They think I'm trash.
They think I'm not good enough|to marry into their family.
What are they talking about? - Don't they know you're a Gilmore?|- I don't think they care.
And who said anything about|marrying into their family? Apparently, Logan bringing me over|for dinner said that I was going|to marry into their family.
That's crazy.
I know, they just got all panicked|and started saying all these things.
- To your face?|- Right there at the dinner table.
- What?|- They went on and on about how I'm going|to be a career woman and: "Logan, you don't want that.
|She won't understand our lifestyle "or the demands|or the family responsibilities.
" What family responsibilities?|Who are they, the Gambinos? Then his mother starts in on|"that lovely Fallon girl " and doesn't Logan see her anymore|because she would make a perfect choice.
- What did you say?|- Nothing.
I just sat there.
I just sat there and let them say|that I wasn't good enough and that Logan was making a mistake|and just wait till his father came home.
- I hate these people.
|- It was awfuI.
Logan didn't just sit there and|let them attack you all night, did he? No, he got really mad|and he told them they were all crazy - and then we left.
|- Well, good for him.
But we didn't say a word to each other|all the way home.
And then, walking back to my dorm he just looked so freaked.
I could tell that he was just I don't know, rethinking everything the whole relationship.
And I'm just afraid he's gonna bolt.
Mom? Can I say something,|something you may not want to hear? Yes.
If he is gonna bolt,|maybe you should let him bolt.
He told you, Rory, he told you|he was not a commitment kind of guy just like you're not|a non-commitment kind of girl.
And you tried to be|something you weren't and it was bad.
It didn't work for you.
Don't try and force him|to be something he's not.
I didn't force him.
I know, but he was looking at losing you and he didn't want to,|and I give him credit for that.
But maybe in the end this is not the guy|or the relationship for you.
I don't care what his family thinks.
This has nothing to do with his family.
We're good together, Mom.
|I'm good for him.
- But maybe he isn't good for you.
|- People can change.
Do you want to be in the business|of changing someone? Maybe he wants to change.
Two days ago,|you were on the bathroom floor crying about why he won't call you,|why doesn't he like you, what did you do.
I was drunk.
I was sick.
You, my beautiful, brainy,|fabulous daughter were lying on the floor of the bathroom|wondering what you had done wrong which is disturbing to me|on several levels including the fact|that I can't remember the last time I cleaned the floor of the bathroom.
Is that really the kind of relationship|you want to be in? Hold on.
Hey.
- Everything okay?|- I'm sorry.
- For what?|- For just taking off like that.
I just - This was a very intense evening for me.
|- I'm sure.
But taking off like that, I was overreacting.
That's just stupid, so forgive me? There's nothing to forgive.
Come on.
Grab your coat.
|I'll take you to get something to eat.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
- Did you hear that?|- Yeah, I sure did.
Everything's fine.
|I just got upset about nothing.
- Okay, but-|- Thanks for the talk, Mom.
And I heard you, but I have to go.
- Okay.
Call me tomorrow.
|- I will.
He got dumped two years ago.
Apparently, it was a vicious|Julia Roberts to Kiefer Sutherland kind of dump.
She broke his heart, slept|with his best friend, and took the dog.
He swore off women completely|until he met me.
That was a lot of ground|you guys covered last night.
He finally admitted,|once his cough started coming back that what we have,|he no longer views as casual.
- He said we are officially in a committed-|- Hey, I know that word.
relationship, and I'm not out|of line, calling myself his girlfriend.
Then I handed him the NyQuil,|and then he passed out.
- Very romantic.
|- I know.
- I'm happy for you.
|- I'm happy for me, too.
- Mr.
Huntzberger.
|- Hello, there.
- Hello, Rory.
|- Hi.
Paris Geller.
We met a couple months ago.
I remember the handshake.
|Reminded me of Jimmy Breslin's.
- High compliment.
|- Would you excuse us? Oh, sure.
Are you looking for Logan? No.
I know better than to look for my son|in the newsroom.
- I came to talk to you.
|- About what? - I'm very sorry about what happened.
|- It's okay.
My family behaved atrociously.
|Though Logan was a little naive to walk into the lion's den|without a chair like that they were wrong,|and you deserve an apology.
Okay.
Thank you.
So, I hear you have some rather lofty|journalistic aspirations.
I have plans.
You know, my company just acquired a small newspaper,|The Stanford Eagle Gazette.
Decent circulation, pretty sorry writing,|but definite potential.
When we buy a new paper, I like to spend|some time there, take a couple of months.
Help turn it around, make sure we're|getting our money's worth.
Stanford isn't a bad train ride|from here, is it? No.
I have an internship available,|if you're interested.
An internship? It'd be a good chance for you to get|your feet wet experience how the real thing works.
No.
Thank you.
- "No, thank you"?|- I appreciate the offer.
But, no.
May I be so bold, as to inquire,|why the hell not? Because I have a feeling that|the only reason you're doing this is because you feel guilty about|what happened the other night at dinner.
And it's very nice, but very unnecessary.
So what? Excuse me? Say the only reason I offered this to you|is because my family behaved badly and I wanted to make up for it.
Say I have no interest|in furthering your career.
This is still an opportunity.
|Who cares why you got the opportunity? It's here, and life is about making the most|of everything you're handed.
Well, this is being handed to you.
|Now, what are you gonna do about it? Monday, 10:00.
Call my office|for the details.
And bring a pencil.
You never know|when you're gonna need a pencil.
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