Glee Episode Scripts

N/A - New York

I made it.
A year and a half ago the New Directions were nothing but a group of six misfits stumbling their way through a horrific rendition of "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat.
" Now here we are at the top of the show choir heap.
Nationals! I want to hit up Central Park, get my frolic on.
I want to throw stuff off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Guys, hold on.
I mean, we still have two songs to write.
Okay, Mr.
Bossy Pants.
But I think we have some time for a tune before we leave.
# Start spreading the news # # I'm leaving today # # I want to be a part of it # # New York, New York # Guys, I have news.
To celebrate our impending win at nationals I got us all 13 tickets to Broadway's longest-running show ever - Cats.
- Whoo! - Yeah, you did? - You might want to check the dates on those tickets, Rachel because Cats closed about 11 years ago.
He did seem crazy.
He charged my credit card by swiping it through his butt crack.
Okay.
Welcome to the Intercontinental New York Times Square.
- Your rooms are on the seventh floor.
- Great.
Are you planning on fitting all those kids in two rooms? Yeah.
Well, this is all we can afford.
I was just thinking about splitting 'em up boys and girls.
You guys in for the show choir competition? Yeah.
Why? Most of the other teams split by sexual orientation.
Oh.
Did you know that New York City was built right on top of Old York City? I'm pretty sure that's not true.
Well, I'm just pretty.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm surprised at how well Quinn is taking the breakup.
I guess I was wrong about her being a vindictive harpy.
I guess she just accepted the inevitable.
Or maybe she's just distracted by the awesomeness of New York.
I know I am.
Hey, do you know why it smells like it's wet here all the time? No.
So what's going on with you and Jesse? I don't know.
He keeps texting me.
But I told him I don't want to talk till I get back.
No boys, no distractions until we win that trophy.
Hey, Finn, where the hell is Puckerman? Um I'll have a Manhattan.
Do you even know what's in a Manhattan? Yeah.
Me.
For the first time.
Which is why I wanna celebrate with a cocktail.
Guys, group meeting.
In the room now.
Do you know that I can get an ahi tartare and a steak sandwich at 3:00 in the morning from their all-night dining menu? - I feel like Eloise.
- I have pills for that.
All right, guys.
This is your time.
Now, you are all on lockdown till you finish writing our songs for nationals.
- I want at least two solid verses by the time I get back.
- Aren't you gonna help us? I, um- I will be back and read your amazing creations and give notes.
But right now I have to head to the theater to, uh, fill out some paperwork.
Broadway.
# In the middle of the night # # I'm in bed alone # # Don't care if you're glass, paper, Styrofoam # # When I need some water, baby # # Coffee or gin # # You're the only thing I want to put them in # # My cup, my cup # # Saying what's up to my cup, my cup # # More of a friend than a silly pup, my cup # # You know what it is # - # Saying what's up to my cup # - Ahh! - # I'm saying what's up to my cup # - Ahh! # I'm saying what's up to my cup ## Ahh! Whoo! Hold on.
Are you singing about a cup? - Yeah.
Totally.
- We gotta get out of here.
Wait.
No, no, no.
Mr.
Schue gave us explicit instructions.
To write a song.
And our problem is is that our only inspiration are mattresses and bathroom cups.
Quinn's right.
We're in the artist capital of the world.
Poets, musicians, actors, playwrights every dreamer that's ever lived has passed through this city.
If we want our dreams to come true, we need to be out there with them, not stuck in here.
Guys, I don't think this is a good idea.
I mean, we still got those songs to write.
- If we don't write them, we're gonna lose.
- No! They're right.
Can't you hear the city calling to you? We don't need to write songs for nationals.
New York's gonna write them for us.
# I don't like cities But I like New York # # The famous places to visit are so many # # Other places make me feel like a dork # # I told my grandpa I wouldn't miss on any # # Los Angeles is for people who sleep # # Gotta see the whole town right from Yonkers on down to the bay # # Paris and London Oh, baby, you can keep # # Baby, you can keep # # Baby, you can keep # # Other cities always make me mad # # Other places always make me sad # # No other city ever made me glad # # Except New York, New York # - # It's a wonderful town # - # I love New York # # I love New York # # New York # # If you don't like my attitude # # Then you can get lost # # Manhattan women are dressed in silk and satin # # Just go to Texas # # Isn't that where they golf? # # There's just one thing that's important in Manhattan # # New York is not for little wussies who scream # # Pick up a date Maybe seven or eight # # Paris and London # # Oh, baby, you can keep # - # Baby, you can keep # - # Baby, you can keep # - # Other cities always make me mad # - # Make me mad # - # Other places always make me sad # - # Make me sad # # No other city ever made me glad # # Except New York, New York # # It's a wonderful town # - # I love New York # - # New York, New York # # We've sailed the seas and we've been the world over # # Made the Mandalay # # We've seen the Sphinx and we've seen the cliffs of Dover # - # And we can safely say # - # New York # # Other cities always make me mad # # Other places always make me sad # # New York # # No other city ever made me glad # # Except New York, New York # # It's a wonderful town # # I love New York # # New York, yeah # - # New York now # - # New York, New York # # New York, New York # # New York now # # New York, New York ## Hey, can I try something out on you guys? I think that one of our songs should be a duet with me and Rachel.
I just want to win.
We all know that you two doing a duet is our best shot at that.
Awesome.
Okay.
Can we just talk about the Jewish elephant in the room? Ask her out, dude.
Who? Rachel? But she's totally into Jesse right now.
- You're in New York, the city of love.
- I thought that was Paris.
Anything's possible here.
You need to ask her out tonight.
Take her on one of those big, awful dates you see in those unwatchable romantic comedies that you grow a vagina if you watch all the way through.
This is your shot, dude.
If I was in love with a girl and I wasn't homeless, I'd totally go for it.
That's it! It's on! # If you're not home # # I'll sit here on your doorstep # # Button up my coat and wait # # We'll go upstairs Close the curtains and we're all set # # To pick up where we left again # # There's question marks hanging over us # # But we won't give the time of day, oh # # 'Cause all we got is these few stolen seconds # # And we can't let them go to waste # # The stars collide # # We come back to life We come back to life # # The sparks will fly # # One look in your eyes # # My heart's open wide I know # # Time's running out now # # But we'll hold back the sun somehow # # See the sky # # We've still got tonight # # We still got tonight ## April? She's still at dinner with the rest of the crew.
Oh.
Sorry.
I was just trying out a new idea for the show.
I've been working here 25 years.
Seen a lot of talent come and go.
And let me tell you something, kid.
You got it.
Hi.
Hi.
What's so important? Oh, these are for you.
I thought since, uh, we're both captains and all we should write a duet for nationals.
The tie, flowers, Central Park? It's, uh, a work date.
Totally professional.
Oh, my God, I can't believe we're at Sardi's.
- Sardi's- the birthplace of the Tony Award.
- What's a salade "nicozy"? One day they're gonna put a cartoon like this of me on these walls.
I like the way you dream so big.
I don't know how to do that.
You look so pretty tonight.
Rachel, I have something to say to you.
Oh, my God.
It's Patti LuPone.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
I can't do this.
No.
No, I have to.
I mean, if not for me, then for Kurt.
I mean, he'd kill me if I didn't.
Okay.
Excuse me.
Um, Miss LuPone? I have to say that you're my idol.
Well, thank you.
That's very sweet of you.
Are you an actress? Yes.
I'm-I'm in high school.
We're in town for the National Show Choir Championship.
I was in choir in high school.
It was my favorite class.
- What's your name? - Rachel Berry.
Well, Rachel Berry, promise me one thing.
You'll never give up.
Yes, Miss LuPone.
I promise.
Hmm.
Good luck.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
He's cute.
Being in New York is like falling in love over and over again every minute.
Tonight felt like one of those awesome nights you see in one of those amazing romantic comedies.
All we need now is just a group of street singers to serenade us, and it would be perfect.
# Oh, this is the night # # It's a beautiful night # # And we call it bella notte # # Look at the skies # - # They have stars in their eyes # - Wait.
This is the moment in those romantic comedies where I kiss you.
I thought this was just a work date.
Really? - # You'll find # - No.
# Enchantment here # # The night will weave its magic spell # # When the one you love is near # I can't.
- # Oh # - # This is the night # Take a chance on me.
# And the heavens are right # # On this lovely # I'm sorry, Finn.
# Bella notte # I can't.
# This is the night # # And the heavens are right # # On this lovely # # Bella notte ## Rachel, wake up.
Wake up.
Why? We're going to breakfast at Tiffany's.
We're gonna get into so much trouble for this.
How awesome are these bagels? - It's the water.
- Mmm.
Oh, you're the only one besides me who understands how amazing this place is.
Which is why I have a secret to tell you.
When we graduate, I'm coming back here and I'm going to college here.
- This is where I belong.
- I'm so coming too.
- And I talked to Blaine.
He's on board as well.
- Oh, good.
But what am I gonna do about Finn? I mean, I I think he wants to get back together, and I really do too but I can't have anything keep me from my Manhattan destiny.
Bring him along.
He'll be great if we need to move anything heavy.
No, no.
Finn won't come.
He's too much of a country boy.
Ah.
The age-old dilemma: Love or career? You're gonna have to make a choice.
I don't know how.
I do.
Follow me.
W-Wait.
Wait! I love this show, but it's not helping me make up my mind.
We have to go in.
Strike that.
We have to break in.
No, we can't be in here.
They say if you get arrested in a theater, you're blackballed for life! - That's not what I heard.
- Hey.
You're not supposed to be in here.
We're extras.
They told us to come early.
We're, um, being-being fitted for our munchkin costumes.
You're from Indiana, right? Ohio actually.
You got some big Broadway dream about singing a song on a real Broadway stage.
Look, we're really sorry.
We'll get out of You got 15 minutes.
Oh, God- Wait! If you have to make a choice, you have to visualize both of the options.
How? Sing.
Picture yourself standing in front of a full audience belting out the final song of one of the greatest musicals of all time.
There's no orchestra.
Make one.
In your mind.
# I'm limited # # Just look at me # # I'm limited # # And just look at you # # You can do all I couldn't do # # Glinda # # Now it's up to you # # I've heard it said # # That people come into our lives # # For a reason # # Bringing something we must learn # # Well, I don't know if I believe that's true # # But I know I'm who I am today # # Because I knew you # # Like a ship blown from its mooring # # By a wind off the sea # # Like a seed dropped by a sky bird # # In a distant wood # # Who can say # # If I've been changed for the better? # # But because I knew you # # Because I knew you # # I have been changed for good # # And just to clear the air # # I ask forgiveness # # For the things I've done you blame me for # # But then I guess we know there's blame to share # # And none of it seems to matter anymore # # Like a comet pulled from orbit # - # Like a ship blown from its mooring # - # As it passes the sun # - # By a wind off the sea # - # Like a stream that meets a boulder # - # Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood # - # Halfway through the wood # # Who can say # # If I've been changed for the better? # # Because I knew you # # I have been changed # # For good ## Thank you, Kurt.
I see it now.
I don't have to choose between my career and love because this I mean, this stage, Broadway, New York That's my true love.
Quinn, quit hogging the bathroom.
I needs to re-pencil my eyebrows on.
- Doesn't she get- - It's all yours.
Everybody's already in the other room working.
Oh, yeah? Is Mr.
Schue in there? 'Cause I think I'm gonna tell him that Rachel and Kurt keep sneaking off.
You can't do that.
He'll have to suspend them.
And then there goes our chances at nationals.
Darn.
You know what? We get it.
You're pissed about Finn dumping your sweet ass.
- Get over it.
- I don't wanna get over it, okay? The only person that you're sabotaging here is yourself.
I don't care about some stupid show choir competition! - Well, you should.
- Geez.
Because this is the one chance that we have to actually feel good about ourselves.
Aren't we supposed to be the popular girls? So why can't we have our dreams come true? She has love.
Tina has it.
Even Zizes hooks up.
I just want somebody to love me.
I think I know how to make you feel better.
I'm flattered, Santana, but I'm really not that into that.
No.
No, I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about a haircut.
Yes.
Totally.
I'm really sorry about the pillows.
I mean, this really was a wake-up call for me as an educator and a chaperone, so Look, I get it.
Kids are kids.
- Good luck at nationals.
- Thank you.
I'll second that.
And why would you be wishing my Glee Club luck at nationals? Oh, I wasn't talking about the Glee Club.
I was wishing you luck in your Broadway debut.
How did you find out? Well, it's all over the Broadway blogosphere.
And by "Broadway blogosphere," I mean the one blog that actually cares about Broadway.
Can I give you a piece of advice? Don't tell your kids.
It'll shake their confidence at nationals.
They won't perform as well.
I hate my kids.
I would literally whip them if I could.
Every time I see them achieving just reminds me of everything I missed out on.
I love my kids.
What? No, you don't.
They're hideous.
My kids are at least attractive.
Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.
I've watched them grow into mature young men and women.
And that's been the joy of my life.
You're tearing up.
People are starting to stare.
I bet they think I just broke up with you.
See you on the ice, Schuester.
All right, guys.
Who's up for some real New York City pizza? We heard.
- Heard what? - About you leaving to be on Broadway.
Look.
I haven't made up my mind about anything.
We get it.
And we're happy for you.
You've inspired us in so many ways, so this is just another.
I don't understand.
Who t- Who told you guys? Goolsby.
Are you okay, Mr.
Schue? I'm not going.
I'm staying with you guys.
I had my moment on that stage, and it was glorious.
But you and I have some unfinished business to take care of.
Now get out your notebooks.
Time to get to work.
- Come on.
This is nationals, people.
- Whoo! So, we're gonna- Oh! Oh! - Oh! - Oh! - Yes, Puck.
- I want in.
I want in.
Oh! Gee! We made it.
We're one of the top 50 show choirs in the nation.
Tomorrow only 10 will move on to showcase, where they'll vie for the national championship.
We've so got this! Okay.
Usually I'm pretty cautious about getting your hopes up but honestly, guys I think we got a really good shot at winning this thing.
All right.
Everyone put your hands in the middle.
- Of course we do.
- Whoo! One, two, three! New Directions! # Yeah # - # Peace out # - # A-Town's down # # Yeah, what? # - # Okay # - # Okay # - # Usher, Usher, Usher # - # Let's go # # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah # # I'm in a club with my homeys # # Trying to get a little V-I, keep it down on the low-key # - They're really good.
- # 'Cause you know how it is # # I saw this shorty She was checking up on me # # From the game she was spittin' in my ear # # You would think that she knew me # # I decided to chill # # Conversation got heavy # # She had me feeling like she's ready to blow # - # Watch out # - # Oh # - # Watch out # - # She was saying, "Come get me" # # So I got up and followed her to the floor # - # She said, "Baby, let's go" # - # To the floor, baby, let's go # # When I told her, I said # Hey.
I got to talk to you.
Hold on a sec.
I do this thing where I get my kids to sign a T-shirt to send to all the teams we beat at nationals.
Yeah, well, don't bother getting us one.
I have a sneaking suspicion that we're about to kick your ass.
You're about to go up against the top show choirs in the country and your team spent all week mooning about how fun and exciting New York is.
- You're a bag of meat.
- Take a large.
- You're about a large, right? - Extra large.
What are you doing? Buying you a T-shirt, Goolsby.
I'll send it to you after we win nationals.
# We got the beat Got the beat # # We got the beat ## Santana? Oh.
Shoving your fingers down your throat like the rest of your brainwashed Vocal Adrenaline brothers and sisters? I'm not throwing up on purpose.
I'm so nervous, I can't keep any food down.
I used to love singing.
It was the only thing that relaxed me.
Now I hate it.
Do you think I'm an idiot? No.
I think you're kind of mean, but I don't think you're stupid.
I know what you're trying to do.
You're trying to get me to feel bad for you so that I don't try as hard to crush you on the stage.
What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? When I came to your school, I heard that the Glee Club was where kids went when no one else would take them- a safe place.
For some reason, you made me the only one who wasn't safe there.
Where are you going? To the Philippine embassy.
I'm going to beg them to revoke my visa and deport me back home.
That's the only way I'm gonna be able to escape Vocal Adrenaline.
Wait- Wait.
It's because you're good.
That's why I hated you.
That's why I sent you to that crack house.
I'm sorry.
But you have to go out there and sing.
You have a gift.
Something that Dustin Goolsby would kill for.
I can't.
I'm gonna barf all over the stage.
If you feel like you're gonna throw up, just look at me and I'll help you through it.
Why? Don't you want to win? Guys like us have to stick together.
I'm gonna hug you now.
And now our returning champions from Carmel High Vocal Adrenaline! What are you doing? I'm making something right.
# All my life # # I've waited for the right # # Moment to let you know # # I don't wanna let you go # # But now I've realized # # There's just no perfect time # # To confess how I feel # # This much I know is real # # So I refuse to waste one more second # # Without you knowing # # My heart # # No, I don't # # Need anything else but your love # # Nothing but you means a thing to me # # I'm incomplete # # When you're not there holding me, touching me # # I swear # # All of the rest could just disappear # # And I wouldn't even care # # As long as you're there # # As long as you're there # # As long as you're there # # Oh, oh, oh # You wrote an amazing song, Finn.
I didn't know you had it in you.
Who cares about the song? What I don't understand is all you've ever wanted is for us to be together and I'm basically standing here begging for you and suddenly you're not interested.
I am interested.
More than interested.
This is my dream being here in New York.
I'm not gonna let anyone or anything keep me from it.
I'm sorry, Finn.
I love you.
But- There's nothing you can say or do that's gonna change my mind about it.
And now, from William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio the New Directions! # Face to face and heart to heart # # We're so close # # Yet so far apart # # I close my eyes I look away # # That's just because # # I'm not okay # # But I hold on # # I stay strong # # Wondering if we still belong # # Will we ever say the words we're feeling? # # Reach down underneath and # - # Tear down all the walls # - I couldn't stay away.
- From the show or her? - # Will we ever # # Have a happy ending # # Or will we forever # # Only be pretending? # # Keeping secrets safe # # Every move we make # # Seems like no one's letting go # # And it's such a shame # # 'Cause if you feel the same # # How am I supposed to know? # # Oh # # Will we ever say the words we're feeling? # - # Oh, oh # - # Reach down underneath and # # Tear down all the walls # # Tear down all the walls # # Will we ever have a happy ending # # Or will we forever # # Only be pretending? # - # Oh, oh # - # Pretending # # Pretending # # Pretending ## Was that scripted? No.
# Hey, hey, hey # # You and me keep on dancing in the dark # # It's been tearing me apart # # Never knowing what we are Hey, hey, hey # # You and me keep on trying to play it cool # # Now it's time to make a move # # And that's what I'm gonna do # - # Lay it all down # - # All down # # Got something to say # # Lay it all down # # Throw your doubt away # # Do or die now # # Step onto the plate # # Blow the door wide open like # # Up, up and away # # Let's light up the world tonight # # You gotta give up the bark and bite # # I know that we got the love All right # # Come on and li-li-light it up Light it up tonight # # Hey, hey, hey You and me # # Turn it up 10,000 watts # # Tell me why we gotta stop # # I just wanna let it rock # # Hey, hey, hey You and me # # Keep on staring at the road like we don't know where to go # # Step back Let me take control # # Lay it all down # # Got something to say? # # Lay it all down # # Throw your doubt away # - # Do or die now # - # Die now # # Step onto the plate # # Blow the door wide open like # # Up, up and away # # Let's light up the world tonight # # You gotta give up the bark and bite # # I know that we got the love All right # - # Come on and li-li-light it up Light it up tonight # - # Li-Li-Light it up # # Let's light up the world tonight # # You gotta give up the bark and bite # - # I know that we got the love, all right # - # We got the love # # Come on and li-li-light it up Light it up tonight ## Don't you think this is gonna look so hot on Lord Tubbington? I'm gonna go find an extra large.
I think we were good.
Good? We were amazing.
The kiss was interesting.
Yeah.
I'm calling it the kiss of the century.
You're wrong, Finn.
That kiss was unprofessional.
It was too personal and intense.
The judges won't like it.
They'll consider it common and vulgar, and it cost you nationals.
Hi, Rachel.
You look amazing.
And you sounded great.
You just shouldn't have kissed him.
- Why are you here, Jesse? - For you.
Dude, back off.
You're just jealous.
Jealous of what we have and what we shared with the entire audience.
Because it was shared between two people who love each other.
It was the Superman of kisses.
It came with its own cape.
Right, Rachel? Oh, my God! What's happening? They just posted the top 10 for showcase.
Okay, come on, everybody.
Gather around.
It's a moment two years in the making! - Okay, okay.
What should we do? - Let's go look at it together.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Oh, I'm too nervous to look.
I'll go.
What did we place? Well, Mr.
Schue? Say it.
What did we rank? We didn't.
I'm so sorry, you guys.
We aren't in the top 10.
Oh, my God.
You should have seen it.
We all looked at the top 10 list for showcase, and we all just went numb.
And then Jesse kept going on and on about how Rachel and Finn's kiss is what cost us nationals.
While I understand passion, I do think that was unprofessional.
- But- Sorry.
Keep going.
- Okay.
Then we get back to the hotel and Santana loses it.
Hang on to her! I mean, and the plane ride home was completely silent.
Like, no one said a word.
We all just sat there with our faces buried in our complimentary copies of SkyMall.
Wait.
I don't get it.
You don't seem that sad at all.
Well, it was still amazing.
I mean, I flew in a plane for the first time in my life.
I had breakfast at Tiffany's.
I sang on a Broadway stage.
I love you.
I love you too.
You know, when you stop and think about it Kurt Hummel has had a pretty good year.
Oh, look who's here.
Hey.
What are you guys doing here? Just, uh, getting a coffee.
We ran into each other in the parking lot.
We're on our way to get some sheet music.
Tomorrow is my audition for the summer show at Six Flags.
Whereas I'm spending my summer composing Pip, Pip, Hooray! The Broadway musical about Pippa Middleton.
I have no idea who that is, but it sounds totally awesome.
We'll see you in class.
Bye, guys.
Okay, so here are the nominees for my set list tomorrow.
Do you think they know? I don't think anybody knows.
Hey.
You still pissed? Do you think this voodoo doll looks enough like Rachel Berry to actually work? Come on.
We can't be mad at Rachel for forever.
Uh, yes, we can.
How could you possibly be so calm? I don't know.
I hated losing just as much as everyone but this year wasn't about winning for me.
Clearly, 'cause we got our asses kicked.
Yeah.
Sorry.
What was it about? Acceptance.
I know that all the kids in the Glee Club they fight and they steal each other's boyfriends and girlfriends and they threaten to quit, like, every other week but weird stuff like that happens in families.
Yeah, well, this is a club.
This is not a family.
Okay, well, a family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what and they accept you for who you are.
I know I'm gonna be a bridesmaid at Mike and Tina's wedding.
And I'm gonna be anxiously awaiting, just like everyone else to see if their babies are Asian too.
When they find an operation to make Artie's legs work again I'm gonna be there for his first steps.
I love them.
I love everyone in Glee Club.
And I get to spend another year with everyone I love, so I'm good.
What about you and I? I love you, Santana.
I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world.
All I know about you and I is that, because of that I think anything's possible.
You're my best friend.
Yeah, me too.
When did you get so smart? Where have you been? Hiding out.
Everyone hates me.
No, they don't.
But that doesn't explain why you haven't said a word to me since we've been back.
You should be more pissed at me than anyone else.
I screwed up.
I'm humiliated.
And we worked so hard for everything, and I was supposed to be this big shot leader holding everyone together, and I blew it.
Cost us the championship.
Look.
Being an artist is about expressing your true feelings in the moment no matter what the consequences.
What were you feeling in that moment? That I loved you.
And that I would have done or given anything to kiss you one more time.
So you did.
You know, you gave it all up for one kiss.
Yeah.
Was it worth it? Yeah.
What about you? Was it worth it for you? Yeah.
'Cause I know in my heart we'll have another shot at nationals.
You have to know that I I'm leaving, Finn.
I'm going to New York and I'm never coming back.
Graduation's a year away.
You got any plans till then? Okay.
Let's go.
- Where are we going? - Final Glee Club meeting of the year.
No other show choir who finished in 12th place has ever felt so honored.
- No! - No! Hi.
Hurry up.
Come on.
- You guys want to see what 12th place looks like? - Yeah! Yeah! English - US - SDH