Gunsmoke (1955) s03e29 Episode Script

Laughing Gas

starring James Arness as Matt Dillon.
Hot corn, mister? Want to buy a hot corn? Has the show started? It's been going about a quarter of an hour, mister.
Oh, did Cloud Marsh go in yet? Well, I wouldn't know, mister.
We're new to Dodge.
Cloud's been bragging it won't do nothing to him.
The whole town's waiting to see that bully boy get hit with laughing gas.
Breathe in out That's right.
In out Now, it hasn't hurt him a bit, folks.
He'll snap to in a minute, and then you'll see a show.
We don't want to lose our barber.
I sure ain't gonna let him work on me tomorrow.
He's coming out of it now.
Feels good, don't it? Hey, what's going on? What is this? Hey.
Hey, this is crazy.
You're drunk, Teeters.
That's right.
I'm drunk.
Lorne Teeters is drunk! Wait a minute.
You fellas know I don't drink.
What'll you tell your wife, Teeters? It's just a little scientific experiment.
Oh, say.
Could I have a bottle of this stuff to take home to my wife? She hasn't laughed in years! Well, there's no way you can take it home, mister, but I can give you another whiff.
Oh, no, thanks, no.
I've had one whiff too many.
Oh, you don't have to shove me.
All right, gentlemen, who's next? Who's next to try the amazing effects of laughing gas? You may sing, you may dance, you may surprise yourself.
Ah, there you are, mister.
A nickel.
A nickel for the corn, mister.
You owe me a nickel.
Show's almost over, mister.
It's true, ain't it? They give you a dollar to get up there and take that gas? Yes, sir.
That's right.
How much? I thought you said the show was almost over.
Well, 15 cents then.
You owe me a nickel! A nickel for the corn! You may sing, you may dance, you may even cry.
One dollar to any good sport who volunteers.
Who's next, gentlemen? I thought Cloud Marsh was gonna volunteer.
Yeah, where's Cloud Marsh? Oh, there he is! There he is! Come on, come on! Make good on your brag! You say it pays a dollar? That's right, mister.
One dollar for the thrill of your life.
Guaranteed not to harm? Guaranteed.
That's right, mister.
Don't hurt that big bully.
Who said that? Go on, Cloud.
You claimed it couldn't have no affect on you.
I'm going! Don't you be so mouthy, here? Yeah, yeah.
What's this gas supposed make you do? Laugh, sing, dance- maybe even fight.
You become your natural self.
Won't do nothing to me.
Hadn't failed yet, mister.
But don't take it unless you're a good sport.
He'll be all right.
Go ahead, Cloud.
Go ahead.
I'm going! Won't do nothing to me! Hey.
Where's my pay? Sit down.
Now, I'm just gonna put this here nozzle in your mouth, and you breathe deep.
In out.
Breathe steady, that's right.
In out- now, now, now, don't fight it.
Don't fight it, just breathe in.
Nice and easy, that's right.
In out.
Can't hurt him a bit, folks.
He'll come to in just a minute.
Cloud Marsh ain't so bad when he's asleep.
Do us a favor, mister- put that big bully under forever.
Yeah! Feel anything, Cloud? I'm I'm gonna smash you.
I'm gonna smash you for this! Take it easy, mister.
It's all in fun.
Who wants to fight?! I'll fight anybody in the place! Poor Cloud.
Who said that? I'll kill whoever said that! I know you don't like me and my brothers.
But we'll fight anybody, anytime! Always, always laughing at us behind our backs, ain't ya? Have a good cry, Cloud.
We We'll get you for this.
We'll get you for good! Maybe you better leave now- come on.
Can't you take it, Cloud? Fix you! Poor Cloud! Hey! Look, mister Wait, wait! Wait! Hold it! Wait! There are some more bottles in the back room.
The show will continue in just a minute.
Thank you, Red.
Thanks, Red.
Doc, did you ever take any of that laughing gas? Well, yes.
I did, a long time ago- once, in medical school.
What is it, anyhow? Oh, well, it's nitrous oxide.
It's a it's an anesthetic's what it is.
It's also an intoxicant.
And pretty dangerous, if you get too much of it.
Well, in other words, you don't recommend that we start using it here, instead of whiskey, huh? Listen, the whiskey you serve here is dangerous enough.
Oh? Except when it's on the house.
Well, how was the show, Chester? Well it, it was a good show.
It really was.
That Lorne Teeters, I'll tell you, he liked to laughed hisself silly.
And I'll bet you got right up there on the stage, too, didn't you, Chester? No, no, I didn't, Doc.
I I was going to- no, I really was.
I was gonna get up there, but that, that Cloud Marsh, he got up there and made a big ruckus out of it all.
Made a ruckus- what? Oh, he got up there and they give him this laughing gas, didn't make him laugh at all.
He just got mean, wanted to fight everybody and just started to bawl and to cry.
He wound up trying to break up the laughing gas thing.
Well good thing them two ornery brothers of his was here instead of over there, huh, Matt? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Chester you know, I want to say something to you.
I want to compliment you on your excellent taste in entertainment.
Yeah, well, thanks, Doc.
I mean, you know, a feller's got to have some kind of an entertainment.
Hey, Wat, Sage- come on outside! Hey, it's Crybaby Cloud.
Want a little more gas, Cloud? Now, don't you start ragging me.
I've had about all I can take tonight! Poor Cloud.
When I said I wouldn't take no more, I meant it.
Hold it, Cloud.
Get your hand off that gun.
Come on! Here, dear.
Ah We'll be able to pull out at daybreak.
Have the team hitched up and ready first thing.
Well, when you get done out here, come on inside.
I got the coffee on.
Uh-huh, I will.
Hey, Laughing Gas.
What is this? Let go of me! We're going to teach you a little lesson, mister.
You want to fight, huh? Good.
Good.
Real, real good! No! Doc? Just rest, that's the main thing now.
Well, how long will he be that way? Unconscious, I mean.
Well, that's a little hard to say.
It, uh, take a day or two maybe, sometimes a week or more.
We'll just have to wait.
Isn't there something I can do? Yes.
You've got to let him rest.
Well, Mrs.
Stafford, are you, uh, ready to sign a complaint against the Marsh Brothers? Do I have to? Well, I can't put them in jail if you don't.
Well, we don't want no trouble, Marshal.
Mrs.
Stafford, your husband was almost killed.
I know, but Earl won't want no trouble, I know him.
He-He'll just want to get well, and for us to get out of Dodge.
Well, now, Earl wasn't always the kind to run from trouble.
He just wants to leave this town, Marshal.
I don't think you understand me, Mrs.
Stafford.
I know who Earl is.
How do you know? I checked the records.
They said a lot about Ernie Stubblefield.
That's all behind us, Marshal.
Earl's forgot all about ever being Ernie Stubblefield.
And he's not going to stay here and fight them Marshes.
I'm not going to let him start all over again.
I'm sorry, Mrs.
Stafford, but there's nothing I can do if you don't sign a complaint.
Do you know what would happen if Earl stayed here? He'd have it out with them and then there'd be others wanting to face him.
The whole terrible business would start all over again.
He's a sweet-minded man, Marshal.
He just wants to be left alone and to forget.
Now, what about all these shows you're putting on? Isn't that kind of dangerous, getting men all riled up on that stuff? No, we hardly ever have any trouble.
Most everybody's a good sport about it.
Well there are all kinds of men in Dodge.
I know.
We didn't want to stop here, but we were running short of money.
Most of the time, we stop at little places.
I know it don't sound like much, but we camp by creeks and rivers and Earl fishes or hunts.
We're happy.
He can forget all about ever being Ernie Stubblefield.
When did he change his name? Well, after he got out of prison, he came to me in Missouri.
He was sick of himself, Marshal; just sick of all the fighting and killing.
He pleaded with me to marry him, so he could start over.
When I found out he meant it, we got married.
As Mr.
and Mrs.
Stafford.
We both knew, as long as he was Ernie Stubblefield, there'd never be any peace.
Does he still keep his gun? He keeps it in the top of the trunk, Marshal.
I see.
No, you don't.
I can see that you don't.
Earl will never use it.
He's changed.
Well, I'm sure he is.
One day, he'll get rid of it.
I know he will.
Sure.
I take it you're not going to sign a complaint, then.
Marshal I'm not gonna sign nothin'.
Mr.
Dillon, you know, it's just awful hard to believe that a man like Mr.
Stafford there was ever in prison.
Yeah, well, he had quite a reputation up there on the Red River- four killings.
Four killings? He did time for the last one.
Well, let's get back to the office, huh? Are you gonna go back to the office? No, I want to look around town a little bit first.
Mr.
Dillon, you think that Ernie Stubblefield's gonna go- I mean, just pick up and leave without a fight, after what they done to him? Well, I don't know, Chester.
What would you do if you had a good woman like that for a wife? Well, I I'd do like she said, I guess.
Are Are you looking for somebody? I'm looking for Cloud Marsh.
I want to throw him in jail till Stafford leaves town.
John Brown come down to the creek, murdered all five of them.
Ask young Wat over there; he ought to know.
That's what he was named for- Pottawatomie County.
Come to think of it, Old Man Marsh named them other two boys for the counties they was born in, too: Osage and Cloud.
Yes, sir Old Man Marsh moved around so much, he finally started naming his children for the counties they was born in.
Ain't that right, boys? Quiet, Andrews.
You'll get yourself in trouble talking like that.
Ah he's just feeling his liquor.
Ain't you, old man? Well I didn't mean nothing agin you, boys.
Uh, I was just telling the facts.
Nah, he don't mean nothing.
He just likes to drink.
Is that right, old man? You like your liquor? One or two drinks to get started in the morning.
Oh, just a drink or two, huh? Well, I don't think two drinks are enough for an old man in the morning.
Naw I think you better have a little more, get started right.
Hold it! Just his mornin' drink, Marshal.
You're coming with me, Cloud.
What for? Last night, disturbing the peace, breaking up that man's equipment.
I ain't goin' to no jail.
All right, you two, get out of here.
Let's go.
Okay, Marshal, but you ain't gonna hold me for long.
There it is, Marshal.
The judge just signed it.
Cloud Marsh to be released forthwith.
He was under the influence of gas when it happened.
The judge says he wasn't responsible.
Turn him loose, Chester.
Yes, sir.
Well, you don't care how you make a living, do you? Lawyer can't be choosy on the frontier, Marshal.
Let's get going.
Well, I'll swan to goodness, Mr.
Dillon, I just don't know what things is comin' to.
I think I'll go out and get some fresh air.
Oh, Matt! Doc.
How are you? Say, how's, uh how's Earl Stafford feeling? Well, that's what I come to tell ya.
He's, uh he's still unconscious, but I think he's resting a little easier.
But, you know, Mrs.
Stafford's gonna put on that show tonight.
She is? Yep.
By herself? What she said.
You mean, with Earl sick in the back room like that? Well, I'll tell you how it is.
You see, she's she's worried.
Worried about bills, everything, even mine.
I I told her not to bother about it, but she's proud, you know, and Well, she says she knows how to put the show on by herself, she said.
Well, yeah, but she ought to have some help with that.
That's what I think.
You know, a woman alone putting on a show for a bunch of roughnecks like that, that's not good.
I know.
What if I send Chester over there? Chester? Good golly, you don't think he'd do it, do you? You want to make a bet? Oh, here you better lead him out of here.
Just take him out to the front.
Don't let him hurt nobody.
Thank you, thank you very much, Chester Goode.
Oh.
Uh, that ends our show for tonight.
Thank you all for coming.
Uh, uh, did did Was I a help to you, ma'am? I thought you were just wonderful, Mr.
Goode.
Well, sure don't look like there's gonna be any trouble tonight.
Think maybe I better go back and have a look at Earl.
All right, Doc.
I'm going over at the Long Branch.
I'll see you there later.
All right.
Hello, Ransom.
Hello, Marshal.
How drunk are you tonight? No more than usual, Marshal.
Why? How many saloons you been in? All of them.
Last one was the Texas Trail.
Did you see the Marsh brothers anywhere? Yeah, they was there when I left.
The Texas Trail, I mean.
Uh-huh.
Ransom, I want you to do something for me.
Sure, Marshal.
All right, now, here.
Take this.
Go on back over there to the Texas Trail and buy yourself a drink.
But keep your eye on those Marsh brothers.
And when they leave there, I want you to come right back here and tell me.
Can you do that? Sure can, Marshal.
All right.
Oh, excuse me.
Come on, you better get going.
Hey, Doc.
How are you, Doc? And how's Stafford tonight? Well, he's he's a little easier tonight.
He opened his eyes a while ago- went right back to sleep, though.
Matt, uh, Mrs.
Stafford wanted me to tell you she'd like to leave Dodge tomorrow.
Well, he's not able to travel, is he? Well, I don't think he ought to, but she wants to go.
What's she so anxious to leave for? Oh, well, she's she's pretty sick of this town, I'll tell you that.
Well, it's more than that.
Her husband's an ex-gunman.
She's afraid he's gonna go back to wearing a gun after the beating he took.
An ex-gunman, huh? I've never seen a reformed one yet.
Well, I hope you're wrong about him.
He's a nice fella.
Yeah.
Yeah, well Well, how about a drink? On the house, of course.
Oh, well, of course.
Well, certainly.
Well, I thought you said you were gonna come right on over.
Well, I was, Doc, but Mrs.
Stafford give me a piece of pie and made me a cup of coffee for helping her out tonight, you know.
Oh.
She's a real nice woman.
She really is.
It's a good thing you didn't help her out any more.
Why? She'd have probably been up all night cooking for you.
Be eating her out of house and home.
Marshal they left the Texas Trail.
Where'd they go? They said something about giving a man some of his own medicine.
Well, who in the world are you talking about? Oh, it's the Marsh brothers.
I think they're planning to give Stafford some of that gas.
What?! I put on a show for you.
Now you're gonna put on a little show for me.
Shove her in there, boys- go on.
You may sing, you may dance, you may make a fool of yourself, huh? And all for only one dollar.
Breathe in out, in, out She may sing, she may dance.
She may surprise herself.
She may even surprise you.
She'll come out of it in a minute, folks.
Then, you'll see some fun.
Come on come on, dance for us.
Sing us a little song, huh? It's a show.
Come on, dance.
Earl! Come on, you can dance! Can't you? Can't you dance? Please let me go! Well, now, you ain't happy at all.
Come on, give us a show! Please, stop! Maybe you need a little more gas.
Yeah, give her another smell, boys.
No! Earl! Earl! Earl! Turn around, Cloud.
This way.
Hold it! Earl! Don't shoot! Oh, no He shot her! Just a minute Just a minute.
She hasn't been shot.
Here.
You're all right.
Oh! Oh! You killed him! No, he didn't, Mrs.
Stafford.
I killed him.
Is that true? You shot him? She must've spoiled your aim.
Can we leave now, Marshal? Dodge, I mean, tonight.
Well, what do you think, Doc? Is he, uh Well, he's made it this far.
I don't know why not.
All right; I'll go pack right now, and we'll leave tonight.
All right, honey.
We'll leave tonight.
There you are, Mr.
Dillon.
Thank you, Chester.
You know, Mister Oh, Chester, I am gonna have a cup of that coffee, on second thought.
Well, all right, Doc.
You know, Mr.
Dillon, did you notice the look on that Mrs.
Stafford's face when she found out it wasn't Earl that killed that Cloud? Oh, I'd sure like to had a picture of that.
There you are, Doc.
Oh, thanks, Chester.
Matt? That was a pretty darn nice thing you did.
What do you mean? Well, I examined Cloud Marsh, too, you know.
Yeah Matt shot him in the hand.
Bullet that killed him came from the other direction.
On the hand? Matt, you were aiming at his hand.
Earl Stafford killed Cloud Marsh, and you know it.
By golly, that was a pretty nice thing you did.

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