Harvey Beaks (2015) Episode Scripts

N/A - Repo Fee; Stalemates

1 [cheerful music] # Harvey # # Harvey # # Harvey # [air horn blares] Today has been truly magical, dear.
[air horn blares] Ahh! - No! Take her! - Jared.
[air horn blares] Ahh! [laughs] Oh, my gosh.
That was amazing.
Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi This banjo will impress the waitress at the steakhouse Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh Huh? Randl, you know I can see you, right? Ahh, fine.
I'm here to repossess the banjo you rented.
But I was just getting good.
Twinkle twinkle Uhhh augh! Well, you've killed a man's dream.
And I'll be back for that rental hat.
Gasp.
This is so sad.
[sniffing] I can sense something else I own nearby.
Uh uh-oh.
[laughing] [panting] Oh, gosh.
You get back here.
[growling] [air horn blares] Ahh! When I get ahold of you I'm gonna augh! [growls] Pretty nails? Really? I could do this all day, dude.
- Ugh, you're a real stubborn brat.
- I know, right? - You want a job? - Hmm? What kind of job? [cheerful music] This is my storage room.
It's where I keep all the stuff I need to rent out.
Kinda empty.
What are you renting, air? Ha-ha, funny.
Shut up.
People rent my stuff and don't return it, so I have to go and take them back.
That's called "repossession.
" I want our stuff back.
We gotta shave their heads and throw raw chickens at 'em till they cry.
No, Ma, that's weird.
This job seems super easy.
I'm in.
Bup-bup-bup.
Out there, you do what I tell you.
I'm just bringing you along 'cause some people might feel uncomfortable hitting children, might slow somebody down.
Or they might hesitate to slap a squishy old man.
- Shut up.
- No, you shut up.
[both arguing] Aw.
All right, ladies, imagine your legs are confident windmills.
Do you feel the burn? Oh, man.
This is exhausting.
Good job.
Let's take a 30-second break.
All right.
I'm gonna treat myself to some cheese and crackers.
There it is, my workout bike, rented by Easy, the exterminator.
This guy's crazy.
This guy? Come on.
He's vanilla puddin'.
You kids think everything is pudding.
See for yourself.
He's armed to the teeth with the nastiest extermination gear from the internet.
Randl, I'm sleepy.
It's past my bedtime.
Ma, you're our getaway driver, so stay sharp.
You stay sharp.
So how're we gonna get past his defenses? We just need a distraction.
[telephone ringing] Hello, Easy Extermination Services.
Yes, hello, is your refrigerator running? Excuse me? I don't understand.
I have four ziplock bags full of chili.
I need to freeze them, or they'll go bad.
Um, ok, ma'am, let's back up.
What kind of chili are we talking about here? Let's clear a path.
On it.
Pffft, hey Randl, look.
What? Did you rent him this? [laughs] A box full of doll heads? Wow, this is dark.
[laughs] Oh, hello, intruders.
Ahh! I didn't know there was a comedy show happening in my living room.
Well, you've invaded my home, so I guess I have no choice but to defend myself.
Whoa, whoa, there.
You signed this contract months ago.
[gasps] Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't see a contract anywhere.
Uh, hey, you can't hurt kids.
It's a law.
- Pthew! - Ahh! Did you just spit one of my doll heads at me? Nice shot, kid.
Now, let's get out of here.
Get back here.
- Where's our ride? - Ma! [snoring] You guys scratched my contacts.
Move over, you old bat.
[tires squealing] Whew, I really I really need to exercise.
I - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah! Hey, that was some quick thinking for a dumb kid.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Where am I? [funky music] # # Well, I gotta admit it.
We make a pretty good team.
- Hey, what's that over there? - Oh, don't get any ideas.
That repo is the white whale of all repos.
It's a one-of-a-kind lamp, kept in a fortress, guarded by a ravenous beast, my greatest treasure.
Whoa.
We have to do it.
Sorry, kid.
Some things are just impossible.
You're sounding like a real old man right now.
What if you woke up tomorrow and the white whale was here? Yeah, that would be nice, but it just can't be done.
I'm gonna order food.
Let's see who rented this white whale.
Oh, this is gonna be easy.
Ahh! My lamp! Thief! [chuckling] Rahhh! Crystal, get her! [chuckling] Whew, man, that was wild.
Oh, sweet, you're still up.
Oh, man, you should've seen Princess' face.
I've been worried sick.
You just left without sayin' anything.
Um, yeah.
So? Look, I brought you your white whale, that impossible repo that was actually super easy.
- That is not the white whale.
- Huh? That's the white whale.
Wait, was that there before? Yeah, and you would've seen it if you took a second to look before being reckless.
You realize you just stole something, right? - So? - So? So you could go to jail.
And now my business is at risk.
Y-y-y-you know what? - You're fired.
- What? I can't have you runnin' around causing trouble.
Now, get outta here, and return that lamp.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Fine.
I don't even care.
You're just angry because I had the guts to try something impossible, and you were too scared.
Oh, pfft, I'm not scared.
That's ridiculous.
Ugh, I can't believe that guy, the nerve to fire me.
So ungrateful, and he thinks I'm reckless? Well, how about I just keep this lamp and then he goes to jail? [whimpering] All right, I'll return it so he doesn't get in trouble.
[sighs] [knocks] Welly, well, well, the thief returns.
[sighs] I'm sorry I stole your lamp.
Apology, guilt, remorse uhh uhh uhh ahhhh ohhh Ohhhhhm I mean, I apologize for hurting your feelings.
I didn't mean to do that.
So, um I wanna purify my spirit.
Do you have crystals for that? Ah, I had zoned out for a bit, but then I heard you say "crystals.
" I'll bring you some.
They're right upstairs, so I'll just turn around Wait, wait.
Can you get the crystals you have in your basement really far down? And maintain eye contact with me.
Ah, an energy transference.
Ahh cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
I'll be back.
- Randl, he's gone.
- Good thinkin' back there.
- Um, listen - Hey, so - Did you I mean - Yeah, I, uh what you said - And I back there - I just mean You know.
Both: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
- So how did you get past Princess? - Who? Daddy.
Daddy, we're out of tanning lotion.
Huh? [sniffing] Oh, no.
She's caught our scent.
Ew, I smell less attractive people.
[gasps] Hide! [sniffing] Both: Whew.
Well, it's over, kid.
That thing has razor-sharp senses.
No gettin' past it.
Ugh, we're so close.
- I've got an idea.
- Wait.
[sniffing] Hey, Princess.
Why are you always in my house? [growling] [gasps] Huh? Wha? Who who is this beautiful angel? Oh, you wanna fight? [grunting] That should keep her busy.
Usually, I only use these on demons.
Ahh! This is a rental.
It was due two years ago.
But it's my Princess' favorite.
I'm not letting you take it.
You wanna play that way? Climb on, kid.
Both: Ahh! Halt in the name of Dark Mana.
Ohh! Now what? It's totally stuck.
[engine turning over] Did someone call for a ride? [coughing] Ma? What are you doing here? I've been sleeping out here for two days.
[tires squealing] - Ahh, darn it! - Ah, my crystals.
Oh, my.
So we did it, kid.
We got the white whale.
Well, uh, I have all my stuff back now, so look's like I'm all set.
Looks like.
But uh maybe I'll hire you for more repos later.
Okay, sure.
I mean whatever, I guess.
I like you, dear.
You remind me of myself before I burned off my fingerprints.
So long, kid.
[air horn blares] Hey, you have to return that.
[laughing] Ehh, whatever.
[air horn blares] [laughing]