House Husbands (2012) Episode Scripts

Season 3, Episode 7

1 I was just making Poppy's bed.
This was under it.
Ms Looby's purse.
Poppy is so sorry.
I'm suspending your daughter.
- Listen, mate - Get out, get out.
No, no, no, listen! It's not what you think! I'm your dad! I had the cheque traced, it must be Ned's.
So, now you know where to find him.
Who's idea was this? It was mine.
You're not gonna make it, are you? - We got a flat battery.
- I gotta go.
OK, amigos, who wants a drink? I'm sorry we couldn't find him.
Our son.
But it's his loss.
He should be proud of you Wait.
My Belle, my chest.
- What? - My chest! - Come on.
- Belle, you can't come in.
What are you talking about? Abi, I think I'm having a heart attack.
ABI: We need some help here! Lewis? You've got a blockage in your coronary artery.
That's what's caused the heart attack.
But you're going in for stent surgery, and that's gonna make you feel a lot better.
Try to relax.
I'm sure Gemma won't be much longer.
- Where is she? - Still not answering.
- What? - It's crazy in here! Lucy's on her way.
I'm trying.
Try harder.
(PHONE RINGS) Damn.
Lewis here.
Leave a message.
Lewis? Just wanted to know how your sleepover with your ex-wife went.
And why you're still not home.
Where are you? Hope you're dead.
The cardiologist will use a small inflatable balloon to unblock the narrowing in your artery, then put the stent in to keep it open.
It's a very safe procedure.
Nothing to worry about.
Abi.
It's me.
Ease up on the doctor-speak.
Just tell me the truth.
There are always risks.
The damaged heart vessel is fragile, so when they clear it, it can tear, or burst.
But if anything goes wrong, we have a heart surgeon on call.
Gemma won't be long.
Everything's gonna be fine.
- Hi, Dad.
How you feeling? - Abi Gotta take this bloody thing off.
As soon as you feel breathless, it needs to go back on.
You alright? Don't like hospitals much.
Yeah, me neither.
You'll feel much better once the procedure's done.
He's next.
- Is Gemma? - Not yet.
I'm going to park the car.
Leave you to have a moment.
I'll be alright.
- Belle.
What are you doing here? - Have you heard anything? Is he OK? - He's about to have an operation.
- Oh, God.
He's gonna need his shirt back.
Why can't I go to school? It's complicated, sweetie.
Your mum and I have got a special meeting later on to sort it out.
But first, why don't we open the pub? I need to speak to the licensee of these premises, Mark Oliver.
Your phone rang the whole time you were in the shower.
(PHONE RINGS) Mark.
What happened at the pub last night? I can't find Lewis.
- You were here, weren't you? - Ooh, yeah.
It got pretty messy.
(PHONE RINGS) The cops got so many noise complaints they've hit me - with three demerit points.
- Mum, it's Lucy.
Have to come! Gemma? He could be under for a while.
The cardiologist is waiting.
We need to take him through now.
One minute.
She She's She's here! Hey, mate! He's doing really well, but we've gotta get the stent in.
Oh, baby.
I'm so sorry.
I've just been getting all angry about how long you were taking to get back.
I even made the pup lose points.
- You what? - Nothing.
She Let's all just stay nice and relaxed for the operation, OK? Hey! It's all I could get from the store downstairs.
- Thank you, Kane.
- OK, let's get him in.
You come back soon.
OK? I love you.
(TOO LATE FOR HEROES BY MARK SHOLTEZ PLAYS) See you soon, mate.
I feel the weight of the world like it's bearing down And I hardly sleep cos there's so much to worry about With everyone looking for something to pin their hopes on Sorry about the mess.
They didn't make up the room.
Always thought it was a good idea to clean my own mess up.
Listen, Lewis and I, we went to find our son.
You don't have to tell me.
I know what happened.
You stopped to get some petrol.
As Lewis got out to fill the tank, he had a heart attack.
Right? So you drove him to the hospital, you were looking for a park when I found you.
You were wearing your own shirt.
He could be hours.
Why don't we go for a walk and get a cup of tea? You go.
I'll stay.
Justin, how long does it take to park a car? Dad's gone in.
Call me if you're lost.
What time did Lewis come in? It was before 8:00.
- Yeah, we tried to call you.
- And Belle wasn't with him? I've tried calling Mum.
I left a message.
I wonder why it's called a heart attack? It's a bit dramatic.
It should be a 'heart situation' or a 'heart murmur' or a 'heart flicker'.
Why don't you take Poppy for a walk? Why doesn't Poppy have to go to school? She's having a few days at home.
Is Uncle Lewis going to die? What? No! He's just having an operation.
Isn't he, Tilda? Make him better.
- Yeah.
- Oi! Want to play handball? Uh, Kane, this is Mac.
Mac, this is Kane.
You're the ex? - Sorry? - You're the ex-boyfriend.
- Will said you two - Uh, we're back together.
Oh! That's great.
Congratulations.
So, that's how you roll.
On again, off again.
Making up's all part of the fun! Dad, can you take my books back to the library? Stella, don't just run This wasn't the condition these books were in when they left the library.
I'm sorry? It's Respect Day tomorrow.
Celebrating the school's mission statement.
Yeah? - Let's start today.
- What? Respect.
For our books.
Look, I've got a friend having a major surgery.
I don't have time for this.
20-cent fine for scruffy corners.
The reason why the books are scruffy is cos my daughter read them.
Do you know how long it's taken to get her to a point where she can actually read words off a page? - I'm just asking for 20 cents.
- And I'm just saying 'no'.
You don't have to wait.
Of course I'm going to stay with you.
What about your shift? Already done.
I finished early to Oh, your meeting with Miss Looby.
- It's no big deal.
- Well, it is a big deal.
She's been suspended.
Found her in the car park, a bit shaken.
She was with Lewis at the petrol station when it happened.
I was about to drop him home when it happened.
You brought him into hospital? I'm sorry I couldn't get here earlier.
I Yeah, I offered her some food - Couldn't get a park - Thank you for bringing him in.
Listen, you guys go see Miss Looby.
These guys will wait with me.
You'll keep me company, won't you, Belle? Oh, you saved his life! Please stay? - A rule is a rule.
- Technically, yes.
Sometimes rules need revising.
- Updating.
- Tweaking.
We're concerned that suspending Poppy might make her feel alienated from the rest of her peers.
That's the point.
She's being punished.
Can't she just get a detention or pick up rubbish? That would be a punishment for a minor incident.
The purple book.
She's in this as well.
Poppy put on her uniform this morning, because she really wants to come to school.
We we realise that she needs to learn a lesson.
She stole my purse.
- She said sorry.
- She's so sorry.
Sometimes 'sorry' is not enough.
Miss Looby, Tilda's father is not well.
If nothing else, it would be nice for Tilda to have Poppy If she hadn't broken the rules, she could be here for her friend.
You know what? You don't need to suspend Poppy, because we're pulling her out of your school.
- What? - Come on, Mark.
And just so we're clear, we dropped you first.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) "We dropped you first"? Who says that? She's better off out of there.
We can home-school her.
Oh, great, cos I've always wanted to be Amish.
Calm down, we can send her to Nepean North.
We're out of the catchment area.
And you just sacked our catchment area.
Hey.
Still Yeah.
They're probably just giving his arteries a really good spring-clean.
Hey, how'd you go with Pop? Oh, we've gotta find her a new school.
Don't we, darling? The doctor will come and speak to you, but It went well.
You can come and see him if you want.
- That's great.
- Come on, Mum.
Oh, no, I don't think it's appropriate.
Course it is.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I've got a pretty big group with me.
Good, cos it's too quiet in here.
How you feeling? - Yeah, I'm good.
- Well, that groin's gonna be a bit tender, where the needle went in.
It's probably all a bit of a blur.
You having a heart attack at the petrol station.
- What? - Belle had trouble parking.
That's why she was held up.
Oh.
Belle waited with me.
That's great.
What about Avery? Avery College, for Poppy? I mean, it's not too far away, and it's not as pricey as some of the schools.
I'm an old girl, so I've heard it's a good school.
Well, it's still, you know, still a bit pricey.
Well, I might head off.
There's a lot of people, so Thanks for staying.
Hope you feel better, Lewis.
Thank you.
Mum? You OK? Must have been a big shock with Dad.
And not finding Ned.
Bad couple of days.
Listen, I'm going back to London.
For good? It's too hard to run a company from another country.
I thought you liked it here with everyone.
I do.
Listen, I wouldn't leave if I didn't know that you had a great family around you.
That doesn't mean that we don't like having you.
It's been great.
Hasn't it, Justin? Yeah, yeah.
Listen, I've got board papers to review.
I'd better go.
I'll call you.
- What was that? - What? You said you would make an effort with Mum.
- Yeah, I am.
- She thinks that you hate her.
- I can see why she wants to go to London.
- For her business.
Cos she doesn't feel like she belongs here.
She's offered to take the kids.
You keep saying 'no'.
We still haven't had her over She's been busy, by the looks of things.
What is that supposed to mean? Look, I know she tried to break us up.
You two have never seen eye to eye, but she's my mum.
I'm gonna go to work and clear my desk so I can be around for Dad.
Heart rate is regular, which is good.
- Temperature? - Temperature? 37-two.
I will keep an eye on it.
Found your shirt.
- What's this about the pub? - We'll deal with it.
- Yeah, it's fine.
- Three demerit points? Well, we've got 10 before we lose the licence.
It's OK.
Yeah, I've set up a meeting with the licensing sergeant.
- We'll talk him down to a warning.
- When? I should be there.
Lewis, no.
OK? It was my fault, and I will speak to the sergeant.
Stress is the last thing that you need at the moment.
Absolutely.
You need to rest.
You should lie still for five hours, give the wound a chance to heal.
What were you doing when you had the heart attack? You overexerting yourself? I was just putting petrol in the car.
That's all.
Hey.
- Thanks for looking after her.
- No probs.
Anything for Mr Crabb.
Is he OK? Yeah, he just needs rest.
Ryan, Lewis didn't have his phone with him when he came in, did he? Uh, I dunno.
It was really hectic in there.
It might have fallen out of his pocket.
They got him straight into a hospital gown.
I need to find that phone.
I left an awful message.
Was his phone with his shirt? - No.
- Where was his shirt? - One of the nurses gave it to me.
- Which one? She didn't say her name.
Maybe it was a doctor.
- What did she look like? - Tallish, medium Anyway, I'll catch you in a sec.
Got to use the bathroom.
Thanks for the shirt.
Bit careless, leaving it around.
You'll need to find your phone too.
If you hadn't only just had a heart attack, I'd tell you you were a bloody idiot.
Nobody's saying that you're a bad person.
But there is some room for improvement.
Did Miss Looby say I wasn't allowed to go to school? - No! - No! No.
- Mum decided - We all decided that maybe you would like a turn at a different school.
What school? We're not sure yet, are we? No, but we're very excited.
There are lots of great schools out there just waiting to be found.
Can I, like, go now? Sure.
But can you not say 'like' all the time? - Poppy! - What have you done to your uniform? - Well? - I cut it.
- Why? - Cos it looks good.
I don't need it now anyway.
I mean, it was my fault.
My husband went away with his ex-wife.
They were looking for their son.
Anyway, they got a flat battery and they stayed overnight.
And I don't know, I just I got suspicious.
I don't know if you're the jealous type He probably doesn't need to know all this.
Well, please don't punish them.
OK? It was me that let the pub get out of hand.
I was in a mood and, I dunno, I just started offering free shots, I You were serving alcohol? Uh, a little Do you have a Responsible Service of Alcohol certificate? I do, as a matter of fact.
I worked at the Nurses' Union bar.
Going back a bit now.
Well, it's not current then? "At Avery College we produce strong, independent, resilient girls.
" That's what we've got.
That's the problem.
Oh, look, they offer French, Mandarin, music, sport Well, for those fees they should teach them magic.
Well, what do you suggest we do? Go crawling back to Miss Looby.
She was going downhill at that school.
She was just mixing with a bad crowd.
She stole the principal's purse and stabbed three classmates with adrenaline pens.
She's seven going on 17.
If she says 'like' one more time I'm pretty sure they say 'like' at private schools too.
- They just charge you for it.
- Did you see that uniform? What kind of teenager do you think she's gonna be? There are no boys at Avery College.
(SOMEONE CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
Belle.
Hi.
Is Gemma? Is? I've just come to say goodbye.
Flying back to London.
Before I leave, I needed to say something.
I know you.
You used to misbehave because you liked women far too much for your own good.
But you're not that guy anymore.
Got a lot to lose.
Which is why I know that this meant something to you.
Before I leave, I'd like to know if you think there's any way that you would want us to be 'us' again.
(DOOR OPENS) - Sorry, I'll come back.
- No, it's alright.
I was just leaving.
My plane leaves tomorrow afternoon.
Let me know? So, Poppy's going to Avery College.
You serious? Doesn't it cost like a million dollars? Can you not say 'like'? We're up on the mortgage.
We only own the front door anyway.
- When does she start? - Well, gotta find her a place first.
We put the forms in.
Just need a reference from the principal of her former school.
You're stuffed! Miss Looby hates your guts.
Yeah.
No.
No! Respect Day tomorrow.
We'll have a special presentation.
I need every child to bring a gold coin for the Sustainable Garden.
Thank you.
Miss Looby.
Hi.
Hey.
Excited about Respect Day tomorrow.
There's a special day for everything these days.
- Which is great.
- Yeah.
Kane? Mark needs a reference.
For Poppy.
I know she's been mucking up a bit, but she's trying for another school.
I understand you met my nephew.
- Mr Luddon.
- The librarian? Mmm.
He said you two really hit it off.
- He said that? - He's like you.
- Flamboyant.
- Sorry? - Homosexual.
- Oh.
Except he's a little shy.
Yeah.
He'd like to get to know you better.
- Oh, that's nice.
- Well, how about dinner tonight? - Oh, no, I can't.
I've got - You and him.
Not me and you! (OTHERS LAUGH) Here, I'll give you his number.
There you go.
You let me know how you get on, and then I'll have a think about that thing you need.
The reference.
(LAUGHS) Thank you.
I'm not going on a date with the weird librarian.
- Oh, says the weird man carrying a balloon.
- It is for Poppy.
We've just got to find a new school! Hi.
What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to be going to sleep.
- Yeah, I am.
- In your clothes? - Yeah.
- Why? I need to see Belle.
What's going on? Tilda's done her homework, Ryan's just reading.
What is that? It's a cabinet.
I've been nagging Lewis to put it together for ages, but clearly he's had too much on recently.
(PHONE DINGS) Everything alright? Mum's going back to London.
- Why? - She didn't find Ned.
Well, she'd have a much better chance of finding him if she stays here.
She's too proud to admit it, but I don't think she feels like she's part of the family.
And I guess she isn't, really.
Of course she is.
She just seemed so much on the outer at the hospital today.
It'll just take time.
I wish she'd give it time.
- You slept with Belle? - Shh! - Sort of.
- What do you mean 'sort of'? I didn't finish.
Do you mean you had your heart attack while? Yes.
Wow.
I think someone's trying to tell you something, Lewis.
Thank you, Kane.
I take it Gemma doesn't know yet? - I need to speak to Belle.
- Why? Because she's my ex-wife, Kane.
She's not some stranger I had a one-night stand with.
Better if it had been.
Hey, hey, where are you going? - I'm going to her hotel.
- What, are you crazy? - You just had a heart attack! - You're not leaving here.
Do you realise, once you've had a heart attack, your risk of having - another one is 1,000 times higher? - Thanks.
- Yeah.
- I'll bear that in mind.
- You're not coming up.
- Hey, what are you gonna say to her? I don't like Belle.
I'm just telling you straight, in case you do something really stupid.
And you can't walk out the ward like that.
It was The back of his gown was open.
(LAUGHS) - Justin? - Hi.
- Hey.
- I just came to say that, um, I wanna fix things.
Yeah.
With you.
You know, in case they're weird before you go back to London.
Going up? Mum hasn't fully made up her mind yet.
We're gonna convince her to stay.
Come with us, to dinner.
Sure.
What does everybody feel like? - Bathroom.
- Sorry? - Can you order for me? - Is everything alright? Oh, yeah, I just, I've got this really weird tummy thing.
Hey.
You've been way more than five minutes.
- He's not with you? - Who? - Lewis! - No.
- What? - He's lost Lewis.
No, I haven't lost Lewis.
- Say we're coming in.
- We're coming in.
No, no, no, no! Do not come.
Gemma's here.
Do not come in.
OK? - Gemma's here! - What? There.
Where? Hey, I'll call you back.
Just give me a sec.
How many rooms are there in this place? - 379.
- Oh.
You haven't seen a guy, have you? 50s, slim, bald, kind of annoying.
Are you Justin? Sorry.
- We ordered.
- Oh.
- Are you really struggling? - Mmm.
I got you the fish, for your tummy.
Oh, perfect.
Thank you.
Tilda's got a thing at school tomorrow, and Lewis can't make it, obviously You'll come, won't you, Mum? - Oh, I - Of course she will.
I'd love another white wine, thank you.
D'you want another one? Yeah.
Great, thank you.
- Oh! - Oh.
I am so sorry, Belle.
- I just knocked it.
Sorry.
- It's OK.
- Here.
- You'll have to change your shirt.
Lewis.
(SIGHS) If you die on me, I'll kill you.
I wanted to see you, Belle.
I wanted to tell you this in person.
It doesn't sound like good news.
In another universe I would want nothing more than for us to be together.
You don't have to give me the speech.
I mean it.
Giving Ned away ruined everything between us.
There's so much blame, and anger and regret.
And now that we've acknowledged that, I can see how good we would be together.
- But - I know the 'buts'.
Whatever we had, Belle, whatever we could be, it has to be in the past.
Gemma is everything to me, and if I lost her or Tilda I know.
I know.
I'm so sorry, Belle.
- Well - I shouldn't have Got nostalgic? - Take care, Lewis.
- You too.
- So sorry.
- Better? Much.
Thank you.
- Where's Justin? - I sent him home.
There's nothing worse than being surrounded by food - when your tummy's crook.
- Right.
Well, this is nice.
We should do it more often.
You've both been so lovely, thinking that I'm feeling left out and bringing me into the fold.
We just want you to feel part of things.
And I do.
I mean, the whole moving back to London thing, it's just a cold, hard business decision.
It's what's best for the company.
Can I get the bill, please? You'll at least come and say goodbye to Tilda? She's asked for you to come tomorrow.
Sure.
I'll miss you.
Um, me too.
Yeah, hi, darling.
Yeah, we just got a little bit held up.
Of course Lewis is resting! What else would he be doing? Yeah, no, Kane's going to go out with the weird librarian.
- Yeah, he's totally fine with it.
- No, he's not! Gotta go.
Where have you been? I went to the vending machine.
- Yeah, to get some chips.
- It was It was broken.
Yeah, so then we had to go all the way - To the, the north wing.
- But they didn't have - salt and vinegar.
- Do you think I am so stupid that I don't know what is going on here? You went for a cigarette, didn't you? - Yes.
- He was just I'm trying to quit.
That's my last one ever.
Don't tell Gemma.
Oh, man, she hates it.
Are you all gonna stand there till I fall asleep? Are you gonna go on any more little night-time visits? I thought it was the honourable thing to do to tell her face to face.
What about Gemma? Where's Mr Honourable when it comes to her? We've covered for you till now.
- We'd lied to our partners - Our wives.
Yeah, everyone, so she hasn't found out the wrong way.
Now, whether you tell her yourself, that's up to you.
No more lies.
We're out.
Have you ever heard of nose-to-tail dining? You eat the whole animal, entrails and all.
No wastage.
Isn't that wild? Look, it's late.
I thought maybe just a quick drink and Oh, you don't have to it all.
It's shared amongst the whole restaurant.
Lucky for us, it's goat night.
That is lucky.
I'm feeling really good about tonight.
Oh, here are all the reasons I like you.
Cared about his friend's operation.
Tick.
Cared about his daughter's ability to read.
Tick.
Cute, without being so good-looking he's going to be narcissistic and incapable of love.
Tick.
Think we should kiss on the first date? Cos there's the most amazing garlicky sauce they do here.
- So, did you kiss? - Of course not! He's a weirdo.
I think you sound kind of alike.
- I'm waiting for a 'thank you'.
- Oh, thank you.
No, no, no, seriously, thank you.
Miss Looby emailed the reference.
It wasn't glowing, but it was certainly better than nothing.
Great.
OK, gotta go.
OK, bye.
Oh, you look great! OK, you see, that is the face you will not be pulling at your interview at Avery this morning.
We clear? If I smile and say what you told me to say, do I get an iPad? - We'll see.
Go brush your teeth.
- Yes! An iPad? We're bribing her now? I said 'we'll see'.
That always means 'no'.
So, we're lying to her? And what did she mean when she said, "If I say the things you told me to say"? I went over a few possible answers with her.
You coached her? I don't have one favourite subject, I love them all, especially maths.
Well, if you want to be a what was it you said again? - Nanophysicist.
- Yes, maths will help.
She also said prime minister.
Any job where I can make a difference.
Well, you sound like the perfect Avery girl.
Were you after a spot for Year Seven? Actually, we were hoping she could start a little sooner.
Like tomorrow? (LAUGHS) You're serious.
Hi, come through.
Hi.
Um, I'm sorry to barge in on you like this What's up? We really need to get Poppy - into a new school.
- Oh.
Avery seems great, but apparently people put their kids on the waiting list the moment they're conceived.
Yeah, there is a bit of that.
You said you were an old girl? Would you like me to make a call? That'd be great.
Well, I have given them money.
They're always inviting me back.
Actually, they just asked me to be on the board, so Yeah, I think I can talk them into taking Poppy.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Sorry.
Oh, you're packing.
Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm heading back to London.
Is that sudden? - Hmm? - (PHONE RINGS) Oh, it's not me.
Oh.
Oh, it's Gemma calling.
This is Lewis's phone.
She's been looking for this.
It went missing when - How's your groin, Lewis? - Sorry? Where the needle went in.
Must be a bit bruised down there.
You'll be out of action for a while.
Probably.
Given your track record, I'm thinking that's a good thing.
As your doctor, I can't tell Gemma because she might kill you.
And that would be bad for my patient.
As her friend, I might just kill you myself.
- How did you go with Belle? - She says she can get Poppy - into Avery, no sweat.
- Great.
I told her not to bother.
We can't use her.
Yeah, I was worried about that too.
Worried about what? What? You already knew? Ow! Lewis sleeps with his ex-wife, and I get bashed? How is that fair? You knew and you didn't tell me! I wanted to, but it's Do you know how huge this is? - I know, but - Look, we need to do something.
Here's what we need to do, and I know this is almost impossible for you, we need to do nothing.
Lewis and Gemma have to sort this out.
If we get involved, it could make things a million times worse.
Who's Poppy talking to? The problem is, I don't have a school.
And Dad can't teach me cos he's not Amish.
OK, you need to call Belle and get her into that school.
I can't use Belle.
I can't.
I can't do that to Gemma.
Do you think I'm naughty? I really wanna be good.
OK.
If you don't call her, I will.
- Do you want another one? - No, one's good.
They're too dry? They're perfect.
- Gemma - Look, promise me, if you ever find your phone, that you won't listen to that message.
- Sorry? - Your phone.
I've looked for it everywhere, but it's nowhere and I said something really terrible.
I probably deserved it.
Believe me, - you did not deserve it.
- Believe me, I did.
You were right to be angry and you were right to be jealous.
You're always right.
Belle and I were together when I had the heart attack.
We were together.
Gemma I I have to go.
It's Respect Day.
Welcome, everyone, to Class 2L's special performance.
SONG: Water rough, water still Water, so I hold my breath - Water rough, water still - (APPLAUSE) Water so I wear my life vest Cos I've been chasing away all these fears I've been shying away from all these years Ha-ah-ah-ah Do you love her? No.
I did once.
But that's irrelevant.
How is it irrelevant that you love someone else? It's in the past, Gemma.
I stupidly went back there for a moment.
But I love you.
You're my wife.
You're my beautiful wife.
I can't imagine it any other way.
I don't understand.
But maybe that's because I've only ever loved one person.
(RAIN FALLS) When I'm weary and tired When I'm far from home I think of you in the rain And I kiss you I can't build you a castle I can't buy you a ring - I can't see you tonight - (CRIES) And so I miss you Now it's raining Think I'll go inside - Somebody stole my suitcase - (THUNDER RUMBLES) Filled with pictures of you So I forget what your face looked like When we were just 20 And it's raining Think I'll go inside