Justice League Unlimited s02e05 Episode Script

That's never going to work.
When did the Greeks ever use precipitate of bismuth in their potions? The Greeks didn't.
But I'm making a counter-potion, remember? And you actually believe that pathetic concoction will be enough to remove the Annihilator's vulnerability? Sh! Be quiet, Felix.
I am trying to concentrate.
Tala, you've come a long way since my untimely demise.
But the student, however gifted, still has much to learn from the teacher.
Maybe I wouldn't if we had spent more time on curriculum and less time-- And this from the woman who once braved the gates of Tartarus itself to collect my mortal remains? Right, and I'm supposed to take advice from you, when without my spell, your spirit would have been lost on the winds.
Yes.
Uh, so very kind of you to trap me in this mirror for all eternity.
Beats the alternative.
True enough.
Still, it's hard to believe you can't solve your Annihilator problem.
The answer's simplicity itself.
Are you going to tell me or just keep tormenting me? No, no.
Repeat after me.
By the power of Zeus, free his essence from this vessel and open the path to power.
By the power of Zeus, free his essence from this vessel and open the path to power.
That didn't do any-- --Thing.
Surprise, sweetheart.
Felix.
Wait! This is really bad, isn't it? You have no idea.
This was a great idea, Wally.
I can't remember the last time we've had a chance to catch up.
Mostly my fault.
I've been pretty busy in Central City.
I wanna hear all about it.
I saw some of it on the news, but it's not the same a-- I'm sorry.
I thought we were having dinner tonight.
Is it Tuesday? Silly me.
Making dinner plans with two beautiful women on the same night.
Uh-huh.
We can do this another time.
Don't be ridiculous.
We can all have a meal together.
It's a chance for us to get reacquainted, patch things up.
Assuming we want to.
Now, there's an example of exactly the kind of thing we're not gonna do anymore, right? I'm telling you, once we clear the air, everybody's gonna be pals again.
I always thought the reason you two don't get along is that you're so much alike.
Like her? Like her? You weren't gonna eat that, were you? You guys aren't even trying.
You could at least talk to each other.
The pasta's good.
It's the sauce.
This isn't gonna work, is it? Not a chance.
Hey! Where you going? Come on.
I had dinner with two women at the same time.
Because I'm a stud.
Etrigen, calm yourself.
Let me help you.
The gates of Tartarus swing both ways.
The balance tips towards chaos.
Usurper.
Fiend! What's happening here? I don't know.
Suddenly all of our members with magical powers Well, you can see.
They're in agony.
What can we do? I'm researching.
As soon as I learn something, I'll let you know.
Flash! No, no, it's the "original speedster.
" Hey, Diana.
I let myself in.
Hermes.
How may I serve the messenger of the gods? Don't be so formal, Diana.
You're practically a member of the family.
Not that this is a social visit.
I've got something for you here.
It's pretty important.
Zeus paid for overnight service.
Here it is.
"For a good time call Podenimus.
" Wrong scroll.
Hm.
I think I got a shot.
It's her cell number.
Here we go.
"By decree of Zeus, father of Olympus, "it is so ordered: "Diana of Themyscira will travel to Tartarus and set right that which has been disturbed.
" He's telling me to go to-- Basically.
Felix Faust is on the loose again.
Felix Faust is dead.
Yes, and pretty upset about it too.
His spirit possessed a powerful weapon called the Annihilator, then headed straight for the gates of Tartarus.
I mean, straight for it.
The Amazons did their best to stop him.
They're good, but they were out of their weight class.
Once inside, he went looking for Hades, the master of Tartarus.
Guess Faust is still torqued.
Hades messed him over pretty good a few years back.
I was there.
And you'll be there this time.
You must defeat Faust and restore Hades to the the throne of Tartarus.
So far as I'm concerned, they deserve each other.
Why should I care about this? You mean, other than the direct order from the gods thing? Because, you know, there must always be balance between chaos and order.
When there isn't-- You've been to the infirmary already, right? My friends Need you to do the right thing.
They're in good hands, Diana.
Yours.
Shayera? Security override.
User code 003.
User identity Wonder Woman.
Confirmed.
Unlock this door.
Something I can help you with? Look, I need it.
I'll bring it back.
We become pals while I wasn't looking? There's trouble on Themyscira.
Mystical trouble.
Your mace disrupts magic.
I thought-- Whatever's happening on that island of yours must be pretty bad for you to resort to this.
Life and death.
Can I have it? Uh-uh.
It's a package deal.
You want the mace, you get me too.
You're doing this because you wanna prove yourself to me, aren't you? Well, you don't have to.
I forgave you a long time ago.
Did I ever ask you for your forgiveness? Drive them back, sisters.
Diana.
You know you're not supposed to set foot on this island.
The gods have decreed that-- The gods are decreeing stuff all the time around here.
Ma'am.
I have to go into Tartarus and stop all of this.
I won't allow it.
Neither of us has any choice in the matter, Mother.
Wait.
If you are to attempt such a feat, you must have access to your full power.
Because you stole your armor and lance, so you were never told of all the powers they possess.
When the time comes, you'll know everything you need to know.
Bring my daughter back to me.
Nothing to worry about.
She's almost as good at kicking butt as I am.
It's getting kind of hot in here.
Considering where we are.
Point taken.
But still.
That's right.
I'm an angel.
You can mess with me if you want to, but I don't think you wanna mess with the boss.
If we're lucky, they'll all be that dumb.
We need a way to find Faust.
Faust? We should free Hades first.
Hades can take care of himself.
I'm not here to help him.
You're not? Then what are you here for? You know what I mean.
I really don't.
You told me our mission is to put Hades back on the throne.
Whatever he's guilty of, we've still got a job to do.
You wouldn't say that if you'd been there.
If you'd seen what he tried to do to my mother.
To me.
Be practical.
We're going to need Hades to help take Faust down.
I don't even need your help.
Yes, you do.
I can't make this decision for you, Diana, but however you wanna play it, I'll back you up.
Then it's Faust.
The only problem is finding him.
Oh, that's not a problem.
Ugh.
Ah! Give it to me.
It's right there.
Give it to me now.
Where's Faust? Let me think.
Oh, yeah.
He's over there.
No, wait, he's over there.
No, there.
One more answer, and it better be the right one.
Or what? You'll kill me? Gosh, I might end up suffering eternal torment as punishment for my sins.
Oh, wait, I already am! Let me try.
Tell me your name.
Abnegazar.
Tell me where to find Faust, Abnegazar.
In Hades' library.
Lead us there.
Okay.
How'd you do that? Magic lasso.
Who knew? If you don't wanna tell me, fine.
Not yet.
I've got one more question: Is there anything else we should know? Yeah, you really, really shouldn't go in there.
Now, could you please take this rope off of me? I'm a demon.
The truth hurts.
Whoa! Sh.
Incredible.
Wouldn't you agree, princess? The lost scrolls of Herculaneum, Merlin's juvenilia, Pierre Menard's Don Quixote.
Dark tomes that make the Necronomicon look like a children's book.
There's enough arcana here to quench even my thirst for knowledge.
At least for the next Why would anybody bother taking over this dump? To get revenge on Hades for betraying me.
I planned to torture him for a few millennia, but Hades tried to make a deal.
He told me about this place.
He kept his end of the bargain, but I didn't keep mine.
I still don't understand why he was surprised.
But now I'm in heaven figuratively speaking.
We're revoking your library card.
Oh.
You want to fight.
Not in the mood.
Darn it.
Lost my place.
You okay? Yeah.
Didn't think I'd need a jacket where we were going.
Aren't you cold in that outfit? Not really.
Of course not.
The princess doesn't get cold.
The princess doesn't even sweat in the fire pits of Tartarus.
I do too sweat.
Please.
You glow.
I wouldn't be surprised if you never have to-- Get off of him! Did Faust send you? Did he decide the vultures weren't enough? They aren't enough, monster.
It appears I'm in your debt, my child.
Thank the gods, Hades.
If it were up to me But even here, there has to be order.
Faust doesn't care what happens to this place.
No one ever appreciates your work until you're gone.
Come on.
We're putting you back on the throne.
Or die trying? Not in the plan.
My books! This time I'll leave nothing of you behind to torture.
Give up, Faust.
I know the secret of the armor.
It's fueled by rage.
If we don't fight you, you're powerless.
That was before I fixed it.
Good to know.
My mace disrupts magic.
What's that tin suit run on, again? You actually hurt me.
Allow me to return the favor.
I hit a lot harder than she does.
Shayera? Your mace protected me from the worst of the explosion, but I was afraid you-- You're all sweaty.
Told you.
Ah, well, who has time to read these days? Besides, I've got a new hobby: tormenting Faust's pathetic soul.
Any problems with that? Not my department.
And you, my child? Have a party.
But don't call me "my child" again, or you'll get what he got.
Your mother never told you, did she? Weren't you ever the least bit curious about your father's identity? I don't have a father.
My mother sculpted me from clay and breathed life into me.
Your mother and I sculpted you together.
When I met you a few years ago, I realized Hippolyta must have brought you to life sometime after I was condemned to Tartarus.
As a reminder of me, perhaps.
He's lying, Diana.
We can prove it.
Use the lasso on him.
Make him tell the truth.
The real truth is it doesn't matter.
I know what I need to know.
I know who raised me, and I know what I was raised to do.
Thank you for unlocking my armor's powers.
I might not have made it without them.
You earned them a long time ago.
I was too stubborn to admit it.
I'd better go.
Stay and rest for your trip.
At the very least, you and your friend can share a meal with me.
But I've been banished.
The gods-- This is your home.
And I'm your mother.
If the gods don't like it, they'll have to take it up with me.
What about us? Are we good? Like oil and vinegar.
We go together, but we don't mix.
Works for me.