MacGyver Episode Scripts
010 - Target MacGyver
Boy, there's some fine-looking women out there, huh? - You got those binoculars? - Yeah, in the kitchen.
On the other hand, rescuing a lady general has never been my idea of beach fun.
All right, let's see what we've got to work with.
Okay, this seems to be a good start.
All I need is a few seconds of distraction.
Oh, man, look at that.
Oh, I gotta go outside and check this out.
- What? - Hey, let's go.
Who's in there? I'll bet you didn't tell them a thing, huh, general? Let's get you out of here.
Damn! Get him! She's gone! Stay! Sit! Stay! Good dogs.
Yeah, Packman, MacGyver.
You know that lady general you lost? Well, I found her.
I really have to rethink my life.
I hardly get the lady general back to the pentagon when I get a code-red priority.
So here I am, on a moonlit night, staring down the throat of a brand-new, Middle Eastern nuclear refining plant, put on this good earth for no other reason than to allow some crazy strongman to blow up his neighbours.
Guess what Washington asked me to do.
All right, ready to blow it.
Be at the pick-up zone at 0430.
Enough is enough.
I will not, under any circumstances, for any reason whatsoever, answer the phone.
Yes, I am definitely home.
- Well? - I just dropped in to congratulate you.
Thank you very much.
The department is grateful.
- And I'm very tired.
- I'm not offering you an assignment.
I'm giving you a warning.
You're a target.
Now, that I'd like spelled out.
When you put away that nuclear installation, they ID'd you.
The contract went out the next day.
They hired Axminster.
He took out Sheik Hussein, didn't he? Right in the middle of prayers.
Blew him straight to Allah.
And killed 37 others along the way.
You ought to get out of town while we stake this place out.
Barney, I like to take care of my own messes.
MacGyver, Axminster would torch the whole block just to get you.
Now, I can set up a safe house, full security, unless you've got someplace you'd like to settle in for a couple of weeks.
You know, there is a kind of a trip I've been toying with.
Take it now.
As long as it spells one word: lost.
- I guess I do owe a visit.
- To who? That's personal, Barney.
Okay, just tell me if and where.
I'll handle that, colonel.
And you don't need to know where.
You just take care of Axminster.
Take a look at this.
- What? - It says this here lady was attacked by aliens and had an alien baby.
- No kidding.
In Alabama somewhere.
Big on aliens in Alabama.
Full of strange people.
That's why I'm going north, back and see my family for a while.
I hadn't seen my grandfather since I was 10.
He was all the family I had left, and we were strangers.
When you hear the beep, let me know what's on your mind.
I'll let you know what's on my mind, bud.
pick up that phone and talk to me.
I got no mind for machines.
Damn, I guess you aren't there.
This is your This is Harry Jackson.
The clerk from the general store brought me up a note with this phone number.
He says you're coming to visit me.
- Axminster! - And I just wanna say don't come.
Hell, you're probably on the way here already.
You can phone the general store again, it's area code 303-555-7702.
I'll try and run that down right away.
What a beautiful part of the world.
Has everything but people.
I gotta wonder what happened to my grandfather that made him decide to live in such isolation.
Actually, I wonder if he'll even be here to meet me.
- How'd you know? - I never forget a grandfather.
- You've grown.
- Well, it's been, what, I hadn't noticed.
Didn't get my message to you.
I tried to head you off.
You mind that I came? What the hell.
Well, come on.
I wanna get home before dark.
Headlights don't work.
You haven't changed.
Haven't had to, and I don't plan to.
Thanks a lot.
The number's a general store in a little town in Colorado, Ouray.
Harry Jackson doesn't have a phone, but they know him, Axminster.
They know where he lives.
You trying to throw me or just scare me? You always did like to talk.
- Still tough as a dirty boot, aren't you? - You're damn right.
- Well? - Black, hot and strong, right? Nothing wrong with your memory, bud.
Grandma used to say you'd never drink a cup of coffee unless a spoon would stand up in it.
Grandma never did give up trying to civilize me.
I guess maybe that was the only dumb mistake she ever did make.
Except for maybe dying.
Is that why you left us? You always did get right to the point.
You haven't changed.
- Want coffee? - Yeah.
- You didn't answer me.
- I left - because it was time to leave.
- When Dad died, you were there.
- You were there.
- I stayed around for a while.
For the love of Mike, boy, I still had the right to my own life! Doggone it, Harry, I guess maybe it's how you did it.
I wake up one morning, and you're gone.
I never liked goodbyes.
I took a job working in construction up in Alaska.
So I went.
Figured sending money regular would be more use to you and your mother than I was.
You figured wrong.
That's your bunk.
Leave or stay, it's up to you.
We're ready to roll, Axminster.
How do you want this guy MacGyver? Dead or alive? Dead.
Now, why are you here? I guess I just got past putting off this visit.
I haven't thought about family in years.
Don't really want to now.
Harry, were you always this hard-nosed? Even when I was a kid? I remember this.
Didn't I make this for you when I was about 10? For your birthday or something? It worked good too.
Best I ever had.
Cabin's at the top of the ridge, Axminster.
Then spread out.
We'll surround the cabin and hit them.
So you ready for some fishing? I already been.
What do you think we're having for breakfast? Come on, Harry.
You're the one that used to tell me you don't fish for fish.
You fish for fishing.
Cabin's empty, Axminster! Nice.
Yeah, it's real nice.
Found this place about eight years ago.
I'm staying right here till I die.
You're too mean to die.
What goes around, comes around.
The truck's still here, Axminster.
They gotta be close.
You know, I think Mom and I missed you most around Thanksgiving, Christmas.
I remember you used to take me out to cut a tree.
- Stop riding it.
- Is my being here that hard on you? Bud, subject is closed.
I got one.
I got one! Watch that drag, bud, watch it.
That's a beaut.
That's for dinner.
Don't let loose of him.
I'm not gonna let loose of him.
Get the net, Harry.
Hey, what the? What the hell is going on? - I'll tell you later.
- Who are your friends? Harry, I didn't think they'd find me here.
They'll probably be down here in a minute.
Let's go! Hollow reeds? Yeah, we'll make them think we're still out there in the water.
- They're too smart for that one, boy.
- Gotta try something.
What if they do fall for this stunt of yours, bud? What do we get out of it? Buy a little distance.
It all depends on them believing that it's us breathing under these reeds.
Have a little faith, Harry.
Where the hell are they? Down there, those reeds! Fire! You, check it out.
They tricked us.
- What are you talking about? - MacGyver set us up.
Let's go tell Axminster.
Guess your friends found those reeds over on the other side of the lake.
See? Your grandson's got something on the ball.
Hold it, Harry.
It's a plant from the Urtica family.
One dab in the bloodstream hits the neural system - and a guy's out for hours.
- Blowgun? I was thinking along those lines.
The only problem we got, Harry, in order for me to knock them out, I'm gonna have to hit them just right.
Right in the neck.
What if you miss? Okay, here we go.
We got a blowgun.
Maybe it'll help make kind of a trail for them to track us.
Hold it! Their trail leads down to the stream.
Hey, what's the matter? Hey.
Hey, what's? Nice.
- Gotta hit them just right.
- Harry, can we get out this way? - We don't seem to have a choice.
Hold it right there, bud.
Will you stop? Now wait a minute! I said, hold it right there.
Who are you, bud? Now what the devil's all this about? I ain't moving till I get an answer.
I'm sorry, Harry.
I shouldn't have come.
I underestimated some things.
Just answer the question.
It has to do with freedom and peace, Harry.
And some people who don't like either.
Well, I sure hope it's worth losing that damn trout.
They're still alive, Axminster.
Should we pick them up? Forget them.
We got a job to do.
Is there a ranger station around? How about a fire lookout, a ranch, anything? Let's see.
Evermore, it's a little old nothing town.
Well, now, they got a phone line.
- How far is it? - Oh, it's ten to 12 miles.
- It's up in the high desert.
- All right.
Go that way.
We'll swing around the hill and meet you.
Haven't done this much running since two winters ago - when a grizzly was chasing me.
- Did he catch you? No, he got tired trying to catch an old buzzard.
Hey, what are you doing now? Stop to collect rocks? - Maybe up that way.
- Okay, we'll flush them out.
- See anything? - Oh, I see a lot of things.
Anything I'd be interested in? Yeah.
Two jeeps splitting up.
Only one's heading our way, but he's gonna be a while getting here, - so I figure we got a little time.
- To do what? Harry, don't you remember teaching me all about decoys? Why don't you fill that up with branches.
Oh, yeah, make it look like a man.
Now, let's see if I can get this tree to do a few tricks.
- No sign of them coming this way.
- Can I keep going? We should figure out MacGyver.
Then make a decision.
- Alpha calling Baker, do you read? - This is Axminster.
- Are targets in sight? - No, sir.
It's just a little Cat and Mouse.
You got your orders.
Over and out.
Okay? Head up to high ground.
Yeah, it's a nice day for hunting.
Remember you used to tell me about how the Indians fought this way? Bud, a lot of that stuff I used to tell you is stories.
Yeah, well, a lot of it works, Harry.
Thought we'd at least get a free ride out of this.
Guess we keep on running.
Let's get going.
Axminster, the other jeep, down in the gully.
Two more down.
Let's finish this MacGyver now.
You getting light-headed, bud? - Pine cones? - Sure, Harry.
Don't you remember ever throwing one in a fire? What happens? - It kind of explodes.
- Yeah, that's right.
Add a little pine pitch, and you got the makings of a landmine.
Ain't Mother Nature grand? You just trying to stay above them, or you got some kind of an idea? A little of both.
No, I can manage.
Hold it, Harry.
I figure the jeep will come from there and right through here.
- Well, what in the? - Time to bury the landmine.
- See something? - Nope, but I hear something.
- Ought to get a move on.
- There's plenty of time.
- You sure that'll work? - Nope.
Bud, you are a comfort.
Here they come.
Come on, let's go.
When I was a kid, I used to chew pine pitch like it was gum.
It tasted all right, but it burned a lot better.
Harry? I'm all right.
Get him! Come on, Harry, let's get moving.
Can anybody still move? Yeah, good enough to find MacGyver.
Looks like we're walking now too.
Not walk, run.
We'll run him right into the ground.
I'm just dinged.
Yeah, so I noticed.
It just grazed you, Harry.
Could've been worse, you know.
Hurts like worse.
Put that inside.
Put pressure on it.
You all right? We made it.
Hey! So this is Evermore.
Harry, when was the last time you were here? Too long ago.
I guess we are too.
Harry? Harry, Har! Damn you, Axminster.
So there we were in a ghost town, Harry and me.
I tried to make him as comfortable as possible.
What are you trying, bud? That's fool's gold.
Which contains pyrite, iron sulfide.
Mixing it up with a little clay here, kind of makes a natural antibiotic.
Let's see what you got here.
Just what is it that you do, bud? Well, a little of this, a little of that.
Well, that sure explains it.
You're gonna be okay, Harry.
Ever think of hanging out a shingle as a medicine man? I've got something to say.
I have avoided you.
You know why? Mom.
First your grandmother.
Then your mom.
When the good Lord took them, I hurt.
I didn't wanna be reminded so I just Just kept moving.
Seeing you I missed you, bud.
Harry Well, that sure was a sorry sight.
Don't you ever badmouth my grandpa, you hear? I'm gonna try and find some things for us to fight with.
What do you say? You really think they're gonna find us here? They're professionals, Harry.
They'll find us.
Harry had a good night's rest, but I didn't sleep at all.
I knew that with first light, Axminster would be tracking us again.
So I had to build the best defence I could before they got to us.
Hey, bud! Mind telling me what you're doing? Yeah, found some grain dust.
Treat it right, we got the makings of a pretty good bomb, I'll betcha.
Might work good.
Got a little parlour trick to get them to come up close to where the explosion happens.
Sometimes you hear about floating grain dust exploding inside a silo.
It's called spontaneous combustion.
I'm gonna do it on purpose.
And I found a real handy partner in Harry.
He seemed to be talking just the way I was.
Or maybe I'd been thinking like him all along.
Only get one shot with your exploding gadget, bud.
- What you got in mind, Harry? - A little remote-control distraction.
Guaranteed to get them galoots to come up close for the big surprise.
Hey, bud, I can play magician from over here.
Now you see it, now you don't.
And boom! All right, that's enough.
It's shaking, and I don't want it falling on my head.
Real trick's gonna be getting those galoots in position.
They aren't right underneath it, it won't work.
Where are you going? Come on! I got a trick of my own.
What do you got? Pine nuts? Yeah, I used to have fun with them when I was a kid.
I'd drop them in the fire and watch everybody jump, and they'd crack, and they'd go off like gunshots.
They've been falling for your foolishness.
I figured I'd try some of my own.
I think Harry was beginning to enjoy the game.
And that's all the time we had.
- Got him good.
We still have Axminster.
- Only this time we got the odds.
Try to move him over, bud.
Now, bud! You all right, bud? I'm more than all right, Harry.
You figuring on coming back this way? Count on it.
- I'll look forward to it.
- Me too.
Catch that big old trout, will you? Count on it.
Take care of yourself, bud.