Men at Work (2012) Episode Scripts

N/A - Weekend at PJ's

Hey, you almost ready to go? Just a sec.
What happened to my Do you think going to our boss's wedding with a Brookstone gift card will get him to stop calling me Rebecca? Hey, where's my dartboard? Oh, yeah.
I took it down.
I put up that John Coltrane poster.
Pretty cool, huh? Do you even know who John Coltrane is? Uh, yeah.
He's a, uh Longhorn player.
Don't you think maybe you could have checked with me before taking down my dartboard? Come on when was the last time you heard a girl say, "I'm really into that guy.
He plays darts"? Okay, so, if we're just getting rid of each other's stuff, you don't mind if I, um, grab your steamer trunk and call my buddy Curious George and head off on an African adventure? All right.
Let's hit the road.
I got to warn you, Neal In case you brought over a bunch of darts, we no longer have a dartboard.
Was I supposed to bring darts? Uh-huh.
The morning It's good.
So I say good morning, gentlemen.
Does anyone else think it's weird that we were all invited? I mean, unless P.
and his rich friends are planning to hunt us, I don't get why we made the cut.
Obviously, I'm invited.
I date his daughter.
I'm practically family.
Who cares why we got invited? I'm excited any time two people celebrate becoming one.
It reminds all the single ladies in the house that time is short and love is hard to find and, "oh, look There's Gibbs "with his broad shoulders to cry on And make love on.
" Make love on your shoulders? Don't ruin this for me.
That was nice.
They really seem in love.
I think they're gonna make it.
Guys, my dad just married his fifth stripper.
We don't have to pretend.
I was genuinely touched when the minister said, "P.
, you may now kiss cinnamon.
" That's my new mom! Yo, t red dress.
Butterfly tattoo, ankle bracelet, no ring.
That'll do, Gibbs.
That'll do.
Hey, maybe she's into that jazz you've loved forever.
Yeah, maybe she's into darts, like all hot girls.
- Don't be a baby.
- You're a baby! Careful.
That one's got the crazy eyes.
Oh, I was just, uh Oh, I know what you're doing.
I just think you can do it better.
I'm Gibbs.
Watch your back, Gibbs.
- Wha - Hi! I'm Morgan.
Don't you just hate weddings? Unless you love them.
I love them.
I'm Morgan.
Me again.
There's my baby girl.
Daddy! Ohh! Congrats on your big day.
Fifth time's a charm.
Aren't you gonna say hi to Neal? Really? I got to do that every time? Hi, Neal.
Hey, look who I found.
- Hey! - Timber! Mamie! - Baby! -Tim! Hi! Oh, this is my boyfriend, Neal.
Great to meet you.
Tim The ex-boyfriend.
Yeah, I prefer to think they're taking a break.
I thought you were out saving kids' lives in Africa.
Well, I sent a jet for him, told him I'd kick his ass if he didn't get on it.
Yeah, and it looks like you could.
You been hitting the weights? No, no.
Weights are for quitters.
I'm hitting the pharmacy.
Creatine, hgh, some kind of breakfast spread made from stem cells.
, you've got to be careful mixing that stuff.
Hey, you're not a doctor.
Sounds fine to me.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go freshen up.
It was a long flight.
I'm sure I look awful.
You must be loving this music, huh? With your newfound affinity for the sultry sounds of jazz.
You're being a dick.
And it's pronounced "in-finity.
" Why are you so bothered by this? Because you do this all the time.
Is this about me taking down your "Lord of the Rings" poster? That was a picture of my grandfather on a walkabout in New Zealand.
The point is that you act like the apartment isn't half mine.
It's not half yours.
I pay half the rent.
You needed someplace to stay, and I let you move into my place, but it's my name on the lease.
Okay, so it's like that? I'm just a guy crashing in your apartment? Yeah! Now you got it! Let's go eat! Come on.
We're at table 7.
You're at table 7.
I'd rather not dine with my landlord.
Milo, come on, man.
Well, I had to climb out a bathroom window and sneak back in through a side door, but I think I finally lost her.
- There you are! - Ohh! Where are you sittin'? UhTable 7.
Oh, damn.
I'm at 12.
Oh, wait.
Somebody switched me to table 7.
Oh, my God.
It's fate.
I totally believe in fate.
Unless you don't.
Hey, what table are we at? Oh, I'm at 2.
I'm at Table 2 is probably just for family.
Table 2.
Not too shabby.
It's okay, honey.
I'm sure my dad just wanted to Put you with your friends.
Hey, what up, new table mate? Name's Darryl, with a "D.
" How else would you spell it? Oh, I don't know.
I spell it with a "D.
" What's your name? Milo.
With an "M.
" "Milo with an 'M'"! You did not just say that! That's hilarious.
Hey, care for some moonshine? Um Sure.
Why not, new friend? Is that paint thinner? Not just paint thinner.
You need another? Damn right I do.
This wedding's about to pop off.
Your hot dog, sir.
Um, excuse me.
Can I get a lobster, like the other grown-ups? You already have one, sir Right there, on your coloring mat.
Look at them laughing over there.
Milo's funny, but he's not that funny.
You look tense.
Can I put my feet on your lap? There you are, my sugar lamb.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Whoa, whoa.
"Sugar lamb"? Are you guys together? We are.
We are? I meanWe are.
This is Jane.
- Selena.
- That's it.
Shall we? That settles it.
We're gonna build our own NASCAR track.
I literally cannot see any reason why we do not.
Hey, guys.
What's going on over here? I'm moving out.
What?! Yeah, my new friend Darryl here He's got a spare room.
My snake died.
So, you guys are really moving in together? Yeah, well, we just clicked real fast, you know? We both like drinking moonshine and Naked dirt-biking.
Throwing stuff off tall buildings.
See? You know, I-I want to live in a place where I don't feel like I'm a guest, you know? A kind of place where I can hang my dartboard.
You have a dartboard? How come this is the first time I'm hearing about it? No, don't get too excited.
He doesn't have any darts.
I collect darts.
Just haven't been able to find a board.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Where you been? In here.
I'm the chef.
ate at my restaurant in London once, and apparently, I made an impression.
I can see why.
Well, you're welcome for saving you, but I got to get back to work, and I'm sure you'd be bored in here.
Uh I'm happy to help.
What can I do? Okay.
Grab some fennel and give it a rinse.
You got it.
Yeah, you'll find it in the fridge.
And when that mother hippo realized I was trying to save her calf, she literally smiled at me.
Oh, hey.
Great lobster, huh? Uh, where's Amy? Oh, photo with her dad or something.
I'll let her know you stopped by.
I'll wait.
You should get a glass of this moonshine.
The guy who keeps pouring it says to keep it away from candles or anything with a battery, so go easy.
I think I can handle it, Tim.
S-so, what are we all talking about? Oh, I was just boring everyone with a story about a vaccine we discovered in the bush.
Let me guess It's called timacillin.
Not officially.
That's what the villagers call it in a song they sing about me.
So, when are you tying the knot? Oh, uh, we haven't set a date, per se.
You know, we're just seeing what happens.
No rush.
You know, Neal, there's a saying in our village that roughly translates to "if you like your goat, you should put a ring on it.
" And chain it to the fence post.
So you don't lose it.
I heard you're really single.
I think you're just playing games with me.
Well, you know what, Mr.
Gamey? I don't like games.
I love 'em.
I'm gonna go find my other shoe.
I'll understand if you want to go help her find her shoe.
You know what? Rather not.
Really, Gibbs, you're a great guy, but you should know I'm going back to London tomorrow.
So nothing's gonna, you know, happen between us.
And you seem like the kind of guy who likes to have things happen at weddings.
I guess I usually am that guy, but tonight the only thing I want to have happen is to hang out with you.
I'd like that.
Yep, I came this close to becoming a professional wrestler, and then the night before my first match, I had to go and get in a nail-gun fight with my stepdad, Jerry.
You'll meet Jerry.
Hear that? You get to meet Jerry.
Well, then, me and Jerry and his nail gun We got a date putting up a dartboard.
So, these are your friends? Yeah, well, you're not seeing them at their best.
When are they at their best? Well, they're pretty good around the holidays.
Maybe you can stick around? I'd love to, but I've got a restaurant to run.
We got restaurants here! Can you make cheesecake? And do you mind working in a factory? I just threw up a little bit on a kid.
Why does P.
think Tim's so great? The world sees a chiseled, charming, child-saving doctor, but I see a monster.
We're talking about monsters over here? Catch me up.
Hear that? Your new roommate likes monsters.
Better than the roommate who's afraid of monsters.
Like you wouldn't run if you saw bigfoot.
You were in Central Park.
I know what I saw! I really wish this wasn't our only night together.
I wish there was a way to keep the other village from stealing my goat.
I wish I knew what your problem was! I wish you did, too.
I wish dinosaurs were still alive.
Here's to all our wishes coming true.
Is this safe to drink? Who brought the narc? Why is someone hitting wood? Did I kill a bear? Does anyone remember me coming in third place in soccer? Did I shave my head last night? It's from P.
"Two weddings for the price of one.
Congratulations on your wedded bliss.
" Two weddings? Which one of us got married? W-who came in first and second? Wait So, one of us got married? I can't remember anything because of that moonshine.
Do you remember you decided to live with "rowdy" roddy Piper? I do.
I may have been drunk and angry, butI stand by the decision to move into an abandoned mannequin factory with a total stranger.
Who got married? I think I might know.
I must have put a ring on my goat.
Where'd you get a ring? Where'd you get a goat? Amy's the goat.
Thanks, honey.
No, what I'm sazing is I'm pretty sure we got married last night.
I remember feeling really threatened by Tim and feeling like it was just time to lock you down.
Neal, I don't remember any of this.
Yeah, it's really foggy for me, too, but, I mean, someone got married, and I know I got up on a table ready to ask you some big question.
Does anybody else remember getting married? Then I guess it's us! Congrats, guys.
Yeah, I think we should celebrate with some coffee.
And aspirin.
Heard there was some coffee in here.
- Timber! - Hey! Coffee and some big news.
This village kept its goat.
Good for you.
What are you talking about? Amy and I got married last night.
No, you didn't.
Maybe you don't remember.
I got up on a table.
Oh, I remember.
Will you do me the honor Of telling me what the hell you ever saw in Mr.
"I save a life every day"? It's usually more like two or three.
Is anyone else sick of this asshole? And youP.
Hey! This "pretending you hate me" game has gone too far.
You owe me a lobster and an apology.
Sorry? Accepted.
Now, who wants to go play some soccer?! Yeah! - Ohhh.
- Ohhh.
And then a bunch of us helped you get down from the table.
Um Maybe I proposed right after that.
Uh, no.
You were way too busy playing soccer.
So, then who got married? Does anyone know where this ring came from? Oh, my God.
Did you I think I did.
I got married.
I'm married Gibbs.
Hi, honey.
What's happening? I guess we figured out a way to keep you in the country.
This is crazy.
Well, congrats, Gibbs and lady Gibbs.
I was passed out in a hot dress, and no one took a run at me? Shame.
Well, I'm spoken for.
Selena! You're wearing my bestie ring.
Your bestie ring? Yeah, I was so drunk, and you were so sweet taking care of me last night.
I gave it to you to make sure we'd stay besties forever.
Sowe didn't get married? Married? What, are you cray? Yeah, but if you were that drunk, how do you remember? Oh, I'm a highly functioning alcoholic.
Yeah, but Highly functioning.
Hey, everybody.
Just popped over to say hello to the happy couple.
Who's the happy couple?! Oh, didn't I put that on the card? Pretty girl and the hobo over there.
I'm sorry what?! How was your first night as newlyweds? Oh, and who's the top and who's the bottom? 'Cause I got a lot of theories.
Welltwo, I guess.
So, these two got married last night? That's insane.
Why would we have gotten married? So, there's nothing I can say to make you forgive me? Nothin'.
How about this? I want to put your name on the lease officially.
Really? I don't want you moving out! I don't want to move out! I want to live with you forever because I love you, man.
I love you, man! You guys want to make it official? - Yeah! - Yeah! Yeah, love is in the air.
Speaking of which, has anybody seen my wife? She and our limo driver have been M.
since the ceremony.
So We're married.
It's weird.
I should probably call my folks.
I can't believe I thought we got married.
And for a second there, I was cool with it.
For a second there, I was, too.
What do you think it means? I think it means we need to spend another night together sometime.
I think you're right.
Well, I should probably head to the airport.
I'll call you.
You've got my mobile number.
Yeah, but give me your cell just in case.
Neal, you never need to be threatened by anyone.
Even Tim.
Why not? Because I don't love him! - Really? - Really? - Really? Well, I should get going, too.
Sorry, Tim.
This is bullshit.
It's always great to see you.
Neal, you're a lucky guy.
And, Amy You're a lucky girl.
Thanks, Tim.
I'm sorry you're going home empty-handed.
Eh, that's all right.
I'm a doctor.
You're a doctor? Can I get a lift wherever you're going? Africa.
Let's freakin' do this.
All right, party's over.
Unless you want to be hunted for sport, you better get the hell out.
Neal, that was quite a speech last night.
It took guts.
I owe you this.
Thanks, P.
It's a lobster.
It's alive! I'm trying, sweetie.
Ah, Mr.
What an exquisite affair.
I-I'd love to stay for the brunch, but I have pressing matters to attend to back in the city.
I believe someone threw up in your trunk.
So, should we register for a blender or a juicer? What's the difference? One blends and one juices.
And there's that tone we talked about.
Just to be clear you guys aren't staying married, right? Of course not.
We're getting it annulled.
But not until we get a set of decent steak knives.
You can never have enough throw pillows.
Can't we just register for Knicks tickets? I love you so much right now.