Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - And Down the Stretch Comes Murder

# and I ran # # I ran so far away # # I just ran # # I ran all night and day # Do you think he saw us? - What up, dipwads? - Oh, no, Jimmy Nickles! Gimme the money.
- Actually, we didn't bring it today.
- Here you go.
- Gus! - Give it up, Spencer.
Or I'll shove a Jimmy Nickle sandwich right in your grill! I think it's a knuckle sandwich.
Okay, okay.
And from the kangaroos? See you tomorrow, butt munches.
It's sloppy joes and tater tots.
You know, Gus, one of these days, we're gonna stand up to Jimmy Nickles.
Yeah, I think I'll stay home sick that day.
It's about time.
Sit down, I have troubling news.
You forgot to Tivo America's Next Top Model, didn't you? Why is it so hard to set the season pass? It's not top model related.
- What is it? - Jimmy Nicholas called.
Jimmy Nickles called us? From where? Prison? I don't think so.
It didn't sound like it.
What does prison sound like? - Is there singing? - Shawn! - I don't know.
He left a message.
- Don't you dare return that call.
I don't need to.
He's coming here in five minutes.
Jimmy Nickles coming here? - In five minutes? - Yeah.
We can handle this.
We can handle this.
I'm gonna go print out a fake fore closure notice and stick it on the front door.
And then we both can go outside and scrape the "psych" sign off the front window.
Gus, I think we can afford to relax a little bit.
He said he wants to talk, and by "talk" I hope he means talk, not my head in a toilet.
- He's gonna try and kill us.
- He's not gonna kill us.
Right? I mean, people change.
We haven't seen him since the fifth grade.
I don't need to see him, Shawn.
Some people are just born evil.
The kid from the Omen, the Children of the corn, Chad Michael Murray.
What is this? Ooh, ebay! Auto bid.
A penny The penny's a trick.
I got in a full-on bidding war with a montessori school.
What do we need a locker in the office for? First of all, I have now here to put my sociology text book.
And You always gotta hit it right on the nose, don't you? Why couldn't I be Crockett? Because, Gus.
You stood in front of the entire third grade class and said, "when I grow up, I wanna be - Philip Michael Thomas.
" - Well, you said you wanted to be the mascot for the Milwaukee brewers.
Dude, he's the biggest sausage in the world.
Why is Jimmy Nickles coming here, Shawn? - How big is he now? - I don't know! Why couldn't you be a real psychic? - Hey, you guys in there? - Oh, god, that's him.
He's not getting my lunch money, I'll tell you that much.
Great, you can terrify him with your wally joyner mini-bat.
Open the door.
What up, boys? That's a good call with the mini-bat.
# I know you know # # That I'm not telling the truth # # I know you know # # They just don't have any proof # # Where's the deception? # # Learn how to bend # # Your worst inhibitions # # Tend to psych you out in the end # You d-bags gonna let me in or what? D- bags? Yeah, come on in, Jim.
- Way not to be scared, flincher.
- I didn't flinch.
- You know I have a caffeine tic.
- Look at this place.
Video games, lockers.
You two haven't grown up at all, huh? And you haven't grown up.
At all.
Jimmy, as glad as we are to see you, what are you doing here? What do you think I'm doing here, barf beetle? I came to take your lunch money.
Hand it over! I'm just messing around.
Actually, I'm in town for, uh, work.
I'm sensing You became a jockey.
A jockey? Yeah, one of the best jockeys.
Yeah, I won most of my races.
Till this stupid Santa Barbara meet started.
Now I'm on some ridiculous losing streak.
The last three favorites I've ridden have all lost.
And I know it wasn't something I did.
I started to lose all my best mounts.
- Mounts? - Horses, Guster.
What's wrong with you? Look, uh, Jimmy, what is it exactly you'd like for us to do? Well, uh, one of our friends from our old school told me about your company.
Even though it sounds kinda gay, I thought I could hire you to come down to the track and maybe, uh Psychically figure out what's wrong with the horses.
Okay, first of all, you ride on the back of mounts while carrying a whip.
That's much gayer than what we do.
Either way, we're busy right now.
So I don't think we'll be able to - We'll take the case.
- I thought so.
All right, meet me at the track at 2:00.
And as far as anyone else knows, you guys are just some really - good old friends.
- Got it, dillholes? Got it.
You can count on us dillholes.
Good-bye, Jim.
- Are you crazy? - I wouldn't say crazy.
Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans.
Come on, Gus, you're not actually still afraid of Jimmy Nickles, are you? We're not helping that little monster, Shawn.
Okay, so Jimmy's still a jerk.
We can see that.
But the truth is - I feel like I owe him.
- For what?! If anything, he owes us for 170 lunches.
You know, I added that up once, and with inflation, that's, like, $1,800.
Look, do you rember when Jimmy got kicked out - of school in the fifth grade? - For killing a teacher? For hitting Miss Lepky with a spitball.
- She fell and got hurt.
- Same difference.
She could've very well have been killed.
It was me who ratted him out, Gus.
You did that? - Why didn't you ever tell me? - You don't know all my secrets.
I'm a man of untold mysteries.
If he found out, he'd come back - and gnaw off one of my toes.
- Ratting out Jimmy Nickles? That's suicidal.
I thought I saw him do it, and I told principal tropp, because he said he wasn't gonna let the class go until somebody gave him a name.
And what? You just had to get home? Dude, Chips was gonna come on in, like, 20 minutes.
What was I supposed to do? It was the one with the freeway crash.
Where the car used the empty car carrier trailer as a ramp - and flipped in mid-air.
- That happens in every episode, Shawn.
I was under a lot of pressure.
I always knew you were a kiss-ass.
Who cares? So Jimmy got kicked out.
It was the best day of my life.
I could finally wear underwear to school again.
I don't know, Gus.
I always sort of felt like I got the wrong guy.
I'll never forget the look on Jimmy's face when they hauled him out of class that day.
I didn't do it! I promise, I didn't do it! Look, after Jimmy got kicked out of school, there were all these stories about what happened to him.
He ran away from home, he got thrown in juvenile hall, moved to a small town in Kansas where they out lawed singing and dancing.
That last one is Footloose.
That's a coincidence.
The point is, Jimmy's life changed that day, and I feel like I gotta make it up to him.
Who knows, Gus, I might've stunted the kid's growth.
I don't know, Shawn.
We're talking about the same dude who made Aaron Rencher eat his own retainer.
All right, how about this We take the case, right? We prove, for all the Aaron Renchers of the world, we are no longer afraid of Jimmy Nickles.
All right, fine.
But if we take this case, we're gonna overcharge him by $1,800.
He doesn't like the oats.
Or the alfalfa pellets.
They're too chewy for pellets.
Pellets should be crunchy.
They should have a natural crunch to them.
Also, the donkey in stable 11 is a pathological liar.
This is idiotic.
Look, it takes a while for the connection to take hold, Jimmy.
Runny D.
And I are just feeling each other out here.
I gotta go lose five pounds before the next race.
You got half an hour to figure out what's going on.
What do you think, Runny D.
? I'll tell you what he's thinking.
He's thinking, "I hate Jimmy.
"He pulled my shorts down in front of jenny scarlatos in the cafeteria.
" Are you channeling the horse? Or a little boy with a tight fade who used to wear his O.
'S without a drawstring? The horse, Shawn.
I didn't have a tight fade in the third grade.
How are you? That's interesting.
This place is weird and borderline depressing.
I mean, who are these people? Who actually comes here? Well, well, well.
This I never thought I'd see.
Wow, dad.
Tell me you're wearing that shirt because someone has to spot you from space.
Very funny, Shawn.
This happens to be one of my lucky track shirts.
I like it.
I'd like it too, if I had to walk home in the dark.
This your kid? Hey, kid.
Phil "The Thrill" Shershow.
This is Burton "Oil Can" Guster.
Good to meetcha.
Hey, Henry tell ya for 20 years, I been handicapping horses? That seems so very cruel.
He musta told ya I hit the pick six in '87? Hey Phil, I think it's pretty safe to assume, - I haven't told 'em anything.
- Five minutes to post.
Gotta make it back.
Henry tell ya I like the 2-3-4 trifecta box? I think your shirt and his shirt should get together and go bowling.
You have all kinds of interesting pals I don't know about.
All right, Shawn, look, don't start.
Phil is not a pal.
He's a bad gambler who doesn't know when to quit.
But he also happens to be on a hot streak right now, which is why I let him talk to me.
Not that I need it.
I have won 8 of 11 races today.
All by myself.
All right, Shawn what are you doing out here anyway? I tried to drag you out here for years.
I'm only here today 'cause we're working on a case.
You know, I think the reason you never came out here is because to be a good handicapper, you gotta put in the time, you gotta do the research, you gotta study the horses, you gotta study the jockeys.
Something that takes patience and follow-through, - which you lack.
- Yes.
That and a shirt from Mr.
Furley's closet.
And the race is on.
Babyfaced assassin takes the early lead.
Babyfaced assassin strides into the first So what's the case? Have you ever heard of a Jimmy Nickles? You mean Jimmy Nicholas.
Yeah, solid jockey, bad bet.
- He's been losing lately.
- That's why he hired us.
He thinks that maybe something's psychically wrong with the horses.
Yeah, the horses are losing, that's what's wrong with them.
Yeah, we didn't find anything.
Of course you didn't, there's a million reasons a horse loses, and none of 'em have to do with crystals and moon beams.
And it's youthful spirit.
Youthful spirit pulls it out.
What I do is much more than that.
- It's It's intuition.
- Son, you got no case.
Oh, well, thanks.
We'll just go home then.
- Juan Carlos! - Help him! Medical assistance to the track.
We need medical assistance to the track immediately.
Carlos! So A jockey who was alive at the beginning of the race is dead by the end.
Not to sound insensitive, but I say we do have a case.
- That sounds insensitive.
- Yeah, I know.
And you guys just happened to be at the track? Jules, it's free churro day.
Do they have a cause of death yet? Probable heart attack.
Uh, O'hara, I Need you to interview the rest of those jockeys.
- What is that? - Sorry.
It's just little people make me Well, let's just say I had a bad experience with a christmas elf.
What, he didn't give you the right present? No.
We dated.
And then he dumped me for a dancer from the ice storm on ice.
She is an enigma wrapped in a little, blonde riddle.
Shawn, I don't think Juan Carlos died of a heart attack.
I only got to see him for a second, but I'm pretty sure he had blood shot eyes.
And his body was totally stiff.
That's a reaction to a tranquilizer or even a poison.
Something affected his nervous system.
Thank you, Dr.
- See if we can get another look at that body.
- You bet.
Hey, you two, don't go anywhere.
I wanna talk to you when I'm done.
Gus has a cramp.
I have a cramp? We have to pee.
Fine, just be back in five minutes.
"We gotta pee?" that's the best you can come up with? Just hurry up.
Really? How short was this guy? Give it one more.
We have boots.
We've confirmed that a heart attack was the cause of Juan Carlos espinoza's death.
Everyone stop.
Let's acknowledge that the chief is wearing leopard print.
And continue.
I'm getting something.
A rose with, with, with A thorn.
A rocket.
Rikki rocket.
- David Lee Roth? - Wrong band.
- Poison.
- Yes.
Juan Carlos was poisoned.
- He's right.
- Chief, I am so sick of Lassiter treating us like second-class citizens.
- What? - You're right.
Espinoza had a cocktail of drugs in his system.
Opiates, barbiturates, cocaine, three different kinds of weight loss drugs, - cyalis, and horse tranquilizers.
- Horse tranquilizers? Apparently, the guy took everything in sight.
He was 4'9" and 3 feet of that were drugs.
And obviously, his heart couldn't handle it.
A very thorough job, detectives.
I'm getting something else.
Juan Carlos was having an affair.
With a married woman.
- Shawn, how do you know this? - Same way I know that as a child, Lassie wanted nothing more than a pony.
Well, come on, who didn't? Anyone who wasn't an eight-year-old girl.
I see a tall, blonde woman.
- Brigitte Nielson? - No! She has 23 diamonds in her wedding ring.
And she bandies about the track, this way and that.
Shouldn't we at least find this woman and talk to her? Do you know anything about this, detectives? Oh, well, maybe you should find out before we put this case to bed.
Lassie Your childhood must've been pure hell.
The good news, I'm available for hugs.
How about it? - Buddy.
It's been a while.
- Please.
- You're here early.
- Yeah, couldn't sleep, you know? Came in early, did a little work on the case.
Went for a run.
Oh, and I did this.
I did some work as well.
Turns out the horse tranquilizer Juan Carlos had in his body was ketamine.
Which doesn't make any sense.
'Cause ketamine causes a state of anesthesia.
Well, that's good, Gus, but I was talking about the spitball incident.
The spitball incident? Shawn, you need to leave that alone.
If you haven't figured it out by now, you never will.
I can't leave it alone.
I won't.
I've gone over it in my head a thousand times.
Just hear me out.
- What are you doing here? - This is my head, dude.
I can do whatever I want.
What did we miss? What's going on here? Is that what my hair looks like in the future? - It sure is.
- But I thought I'd be bald by 20.
- This changes everything.
- Yeah, it does Think big.
It was Jimmy.
He's sipping through the straw, not spitting it out.
It couldn't have been him.
There was a second spitter.
That's so cool.
Let it go, Shawn.
Your second spitter theory is crazy.
Oh yeah, what about your teen wolf theory? Hey, that's just a fact.
If any of us were in high school and some dude became a wolf, we wouldn't be cool with him just because he could dunk a basketball.
I certainly wouldn't be selling "I heart wol I could tell you that.
- Oh, save it for your podcast.
- Hey, you brought it up.
I'm gonna go talk to Jimmy Nickles.
You look for T.
- T.
? - Tall Blonde Woman.
I abbreviated, Gus.
All the kids are doing it these days.
Just hope we don't run into my - Y.
? - Y.
? Your dad.
And it's too late.
Oh, my god, the shirt has a brother.
Ha, very funny, Shawn.
If you're looking for your boy Jimmy, they just announced he was taken off all the races for the day.
Seriously? I wonder why.
Isn't that Barry Sarner? The announcer guy.
- He's like a local legend.
- Yeah, "the voice," right? yeah.
Hey, dad, do you know him? Can you introduce us or what? No, I met him once at a policeman's ball, but it was years ago.
Hey, uh, Mr.
- Hi.
- Look who's here.
Your old pal.
Hank Spencer.
- Do I know you? - No, but we know you.
What is it you always say? "And the race is on.
" and the race is on.
And the race is On! - Hey, can you do it for us one time? - And the race is on.
That's it, right there.
Won't you boys have a button? I'm sorry, Mr.
I'm Henry Spencer.
This is my son Shawn and his friend Gus.
They finally just started coming to the races.
Oh, too bad.
The track's probably closing down after this meet.
- 25 years I've been doing this.
- Why is it closing down? - Well, no one comes anymore.
- Is it because of his shirt? I'm sorry, dad, this is, like, a genocide of color Somewhere, a rainbow's weeping.
Sarner, do you know why Jimmy Nickles was pulled off all of his races today? We're his buddies.
We came down to see him.
No, uh It's a shame, really.
Jimmy was just getting back to a full schedule.
Juan Carlos had taken most of his good mounts - before he died.
- Really? We didn't know that.
Oh, they quarreled about it all the time.
Did they? Shawn, look.
Way to stay on the abbreviation train, Gus.
You mean the A.
? You're talking about Janine? That's Jimmy's wife.
- T.
is Jimmy's wife? - Yes.
Looks like Juan Carlos was taking all of Jimmy's mounts.
I didn't kill Juan Carlos! I didn't do it, I swear! - Come on! You gotta believe me! - Back off.
Okay, so let me get this straight.
You took on this case because you felt bad about Jimmy getting kicked out of school for something he didn't do.
And now you just convinced the police to reopen the case that led to Jimmy being arrested for murder.
Did I ask for nutshelling? I think he looks like a tangelo in that outfit.
Or maybe a clementine with seeds full of hate.
I think he looks like an evil little creamsicle.
- You mean dreamsicle.
- No, Shawn, creamsicle.
They're exclusively orange.
Okay, Lassiter says you can have five minutes with Jimmy.
And good job, by the way.
We never would've reopened the case and arrested him if it wasn't for you.
You didn't tell Jimmy that, did you? No.
- I didn't kill Juan Carlos.
- We know.
Someone must've tipped'em off.
But I swear I didn't do it.
Say Jimmy, isn't that exactly like you and that spitball incident? Guys! Look I think what Gus is trying to say is we'd really like to help.
- We would, but the evidence.
- What? - Juan Carlos took all your mounts.
- Yeah.
- You fought with him over it.
- Yeah.
- They found ketamine in your locker.
- That wasn't mine.
And your wife was having an affair with Juan Carlos.
What?! All right, purvis, put me down.
Don't push me.
I'm getting the feeling he didn't know about the affair.
You think? I'm sorry, I just I can't believe she would do that.
Especially after I told her I wouldn't sleep with any more russian models.
I think we may have gotten off point, Jimmy.
Let's go back to the beginning.
Obviously, the races you lost are somehow connected to Juan Carlos's murder.
So is there anything else you can tell us or that you remember about those races? No.
The horses were all running great.
But right around the clubhouse turn, they all faded down the stretch.
All of them faded down the stretch? You know what? Yeah.
That's a good place to begin.
All right, that's enough, Shawn, let's go.
You've been standing at that thing for an hour.
Let me take off my shoes and try it lying down.
No, Shawn.
You don't have anything.
It's a dead end.
Face it.
- We have to tell Jimmy he's screwed.
- Fine.
- You tell Jimmy.
- Me? I never wanted to take this case in the first place.
I'll race you for it.
What?! No.
That's right.
And I know why.
Why? 'Cause I beat you in the 100-yard dash in the junior high olympics.
Please! First of all, you know I had shin splints, a torn meniscus, and a planter's wart.
Gus, you copied those terms from the glossary of our health textbook.
- You have no idea what they mean! - Ask my doctor.
I had a ruptured patella too, but I wasn't gonna say anything.
Besides - Go! - Oh, no! No, you didn't! - You almost had me.
- What? I had you by at least a foot.
- I'm gonna give this to you.
- I thought so.
Not because you won.
'Cause you need a victory in your life more than I do right now.
What? Oh, no.
We're going again.
I got a better idea.
Seven flights of stairs just to get another view of the track? Gus, this is the perfect spot for us to see You'll find To see where the magic happens.
I told you he'd be here.
Can I help you fellas? Uh, yeah, uh "And the race is on.
" I really don't think you should be up here right now.
I'm trying to finish my taped announcements for the day, so Ooh, can I do one? I've always wanted to be an announcer.
Would the owner of a red iroc-z in lot three kindly return your comb to the back pocket of your acid-wash z.
Cavariccis? And turn off your headlights.
What do you think of that, huh? Have a button.
I've seen one of these before.
Yes, it's a shaman's staff.
Yeah, I saw a special on the history channel About the The choctaw indians.
Ah yes, the chaka indians.
Long-standing rivals of the sleestak cowboys.
It's pronounced choe-koe.
Gave us the chocodile, amongst other things.
I don't think so.
I've been collecting these artifacts for a number of years.
I'm actually 1/16 indian myself But not cherokee.
Hey, Gus is 1/16 robot.
And not the evil, take-over-the-world fromi, robotkind.
Oh Sorrry Hey, you're the guy that tried to save Juan Carlos.
You're the only one who tried to help.
Way to go.
You should feel proud.
Uh, he died.
Yes, he did do that.
Well, gentlemen, uh Ryan and I have to go over some publicity photos.
So if you'd be kind enough "And the race is on!" Chaka? Really? Yeah, I'd be embarrassed if I were you.
I'm not embarrassed at all, Gus.
Aland of the lost reference is virtually unheard of in everyday conversation.
- Can we go and see Jimmy now? - Not yet.
Barry has tapes of the races in there.
Which means there's a copy of the one Juan Carlos died in.
I don't know why I didn't think of this before.
We need to see that tape.
There's no way Barry's gonna let us back in there.
Don't the police have a copy of it? They do, but Lassiter's convinced the case is closed, so he won't help.
Which means I'm gonna have to do something I know I will regret.
What? Ride your dirt bike off of David King's roof again? No Ask my dad for a favor.
So I was hoping that in your very meticulous, detailed mode, it occurred to you to I can't do it.
He wants to know if you tape all the horse races.
- Of course I do.
- Awesome.
Can we watch the one when Juan Carlos died? You may.
On one condition.
Deal is you go with me to the derby on Sunday in that shirt.
What did I say about regret, Gus? - What did I say? - I think you pull it off.
All right, here's the race.
Juan Carlos is on the number eight horse.
I remember this, 'cause Phil convinced me to go with the long shot.
The one time I go with the guy, and the horse loses.
I don't get it.
What are we missing? - What What aren't we seeing? - Maybe nothing.
- Maybe Jimmy did poison Juan Carlos.
- I know he didn't poison Juan Carlos, just like I know there's a second spitter.
Shawn, once again, you're focusing too much attention on one aspect of the case.
- Close your eyes.
- No, I'm not jumping through any more of your hoops today.
You need to broaden your vision, Shawn.
You need to look at the outskirts - of the case.
- What does that even mean? Broaden my vision? Look at the outskirts of a You know what? I'm out of here.
No, no.
Not today.
You sound like Oprah.
I don't even know why I bother coming here.
It's a complete waste of time.
A little girl outside just started crying when she saw this shirt.
Oh, good, good, you're here.
You texted me seven times.
Said it was an emergency.
Yes, a color emergency.
But I think I figured it out.
The walls were sandbar white to suppress all creative thought and hide the asbestos.
The walls of what? Miss Lepky's classroom.
Why is my name on the detention list? You got caught eating a Kit Kat™ out of the trash can.
- The point is, when I left my dad's - You mean stormed out like a little girl? I did not.
I did.
I'd give you that.
I realized my dad was actually right.
I need to broaden my vision, and that's when I remembered we all switched seats in class that week.
Right, I had to sit behind Janie Doran and her creepy neck hair.
And Jimmy Moved over two rows, meaning that the second spitter was on the other side.
Gus, get him.
Shawn, what does this have to do with horse racing? - I haven't gotten that far yet.
- Let me know when you figure it out.
Let go, Jimmy.
- Hello? - Dude, I figured it out.
- Was that really necessary? - No.
But it was dope.
Babyfaced Assassin strides into the first turn at the head with none other right on its tail.
- Babyfaced Assassin - Wait for it.
Trade the top spot as they race around the second turn.
Right there! The clubhouse turn.
Juan Carlos gets hit by something.
This was just like the spitball incident with Jimmy.
I was so focused on the stretch that I never looked anywhere else.
You know, I didn't broaden my vision, Dad.
Shawn, I love nothing more than to tell you I'm right, but I have no idea what I'm right about.
Question is why would somebody kill someone like that? Guys! Juan Carlos's death was an accident Yeah! Whatever hit him was meant for a horse.
This isn't about murder.
It's about fixing races.
- The tape's ready? - Check.
- Fake psychic ability? - Full of it.
Yes, you are.
Spencer, what is going on? First you help us get Oh Get Jimmy Nicholas.
Now you claim he's innocent? I'm sorry, chief.
Psychic solar flares have temporarily blinded me.
My sense of smell is compensating for my lack of sight.
Lilacs in a meadow.
- Is that camay? - Oh, this is ridiculous.
We've got big boy police work to do.
Wait My eyes are starting to adjust.
Where are we? We're in the video room! I'm blind, Gus.
Not deaf.
Spencer, we don't have time for this.
If you wanted Those tapes.
- What are on those tapes? - They're the tapes from the track.
We reviewed them, but we didn't find anything.
Big gulp? - Slurpee.
- 7-11? These are all the dates on the tapes.
Let's play these tapes.
These are Jimmy's races - This one is when Juan Carlos died.
- That must be why they're in my head.
All of these horses faded down the stretch, as if affected by something.
And look here.
Juan Carlos is clearly hit by something at the clubhouse turn.
He felt the effects immediately, because he's a tiny human person.
With the horses, it takes longer for them to feel the effects.
And your point is? Whatever hit Juan Carlos was intended for his horse.
What I'm saying is that this was an accident.
Spencer, that's a very interesting theory, but it's All circumstantial.
We're gonna need some hard evidence.
Yeah, but thanks for the A.
Youthful Spirit fades down the stretch.
No, wait, he's He's gaining.
It's Youthful Spirit, Youthful Spirit pulls it out.
Youthful Spirit fades down the stretch.
No, wait, he's He's gaining.
It's Youthful Spirit, Youthful Spirit pulls it out.
The announcer.
It's the announcer.
He sounds surprised.
"Neigh," shocked.
When Youthful Spirit doesn't fade down the stretch.
Listen Youthful Spirit fades down the stretch.
No, wait, he's He's gaining.
It's Youthful Spirit, Youthful Spirit pulls it out.
He was expecting something to happen to Juan Carlos's horse.
That means he's a part of it.
Chief, every psychic nerve in my body tells me that something really big is gonna happen at the derby tomorrow and that we all need to be there.
All right.
It's too late to cancel the races, but I can approve a police presence at the track.
I've never been in the jockey club before, Shawn.
Thanks for getting me in here.
It's a good thing we wore our lucky shirts, huh? Yeah, just worried someone's gonna stare directly at the pattern and have a seizure.
Shawn, we've had people watching Barry for the last six races, and they haven't seen anything out of the ordinary.
Admit it, you guys don't have it.
Don't worry.
We have it.
I don't know if we have it.
We just gotta figure out how it all connects.
So what is this indian stuff I got off the internet connect to? That's what we in the fake psychic community call a hunch.
Ladies and gentlemen, the horses have reached the starting gate for the 84th running of the Santa Barbara derby.
And the race is on.
Uh-oh, two horses bump as they come out of the gate.
It's the three horse, snare the prize, and the four, biased opinion.
Kate's Conscience takes the early lead as the horses reach the first turn.
Authority Figure makes a strong move on the inside as the horses race down the backstretch.
Authority Figure and Kate's Conscience battle their way past the fall turn.
Authority Figure begins to take control.
Phil is not a pal.
He's a bad gambler who doesn't know when to quit.
But he also happens to be on a hot streak.
Henry tell ya I like the 2-3-4 trifecta box? Huh? Track's probably closing down after this meet.
25 years I've been doing this.
Dude, I got it.
Get everyone down to the track.
And Authority Figure wins with ease.
I really would like to cash in my tickets now.
Well, how did she feel coming around the backstretch? Everybody hold your horses.
I meant metaphorically, but I like the love.
I sense the plan.
Hatched from the desperation of watching the track they all love so much shuttered forever.
Isn't that right Barry? - Excuse me? - You are so not excused.
You see, the track is closing down this year and Barry finally figured out a way to get paid.
But it was the equine who told me he had help.
Two people with intimate knowledge of the races and access to the entire track.
They figured out how to control the outcome of the races by getting rid of the favorites.
Because there were only a few horses in the race to begin with, they bet on the rest of the field, and their odds of winning went way up.
That is insane.
We didn't do anything.
That's not entirely true.
Whoa, whoa, what's happening here? - Gus, little help, buddy.
- I don't do horses, Shawn.
Ah, Dale.
Dale, uh Hold that thought.
- What was I saying? - Barry was saying they didn't do anything.
Really? You used Phil to make all the bets on the long shots.
And Ryan here Well, he took care of knocking out the favorites from his perch in the camera well.
- With what, his camera? - Exactly.
Lassie, do me a favor.
Take that camera off Ryan's neck.
Give it a look.
There's no lens.
It's some kind of firing mechanism.
Which is why he didn't follow the horses down the track.
I just wanted to make some money.
- It was Barry's idea.
- Shut up, Ryan.
They can't prove anything.
I'm getting something.
A fraction.
Barry's 1/16 choco indian.
And what are the choco indians known for? Besides chocodiles.
For using blowguns to kill animals with darts dipped in poison.
Gus shoots and scores.
With an assist from wikipedia.
They used darts dipped in ketamine.
A horse tranquilizer strong enough to slow down a horse in the middle of a race.
With darts small enough to be missed on a 1000-pound horse.
But the problem was They accidentally shot Juan Carlos.
The ketamine, mixed with all the other drugs in his system, and the adrenaline from the race killed him.
You weren't trying to save Juan Carlos's life.
You were looking for the evidence.
And they almost pulled it off by framing poor Jimmy.
But they couldn't resist one more big pay day in today's race.
It's like my dad always says Real men take bubble baths.
And A bad gambler never knows when to quit.
Not bad, kid.
Not bad.
Let's go.
Get 'em out of here.
Now Who wants to take a picture with the winning horse and jockey? - Come on, Dad! - Gus, get over here.
Hey, I finally get my picture with us in our track shirts.
Memories, Shawn.
That's what it's all about.
- Just act natural.
- Yeah.
Guys, I don't know what to say.
I guess you're not such total fartknockers after all.
That's So sweet.
Gus, isn't there something you wanted to say to Jimmy here? Yes, I do.
I've been wanting to say this for a long time.
- You know, back in school - Oh, uh, about that.
I had some time to think while I was in jail, and, uh Maybe I didn't treat you guys so good back then.
Especially you, Guster.
So I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for giving you wedgies, swirlies, Jimmy Nickle sandwiches, stuffing you in the trash can and, uh - Putting boogers in your clarinet case.
- Whoa.
Feels good to get that off my chest after all these years.
Huh, yeah.
I could imagine.
Say, Shawn, isn't there something you want to get off of your chest? - Are you gonna tell him if I don't? - What do you think? All right, Jimmy, here's the thing.
I'm the one that ratted you out over the spitball incident.
Okay, I'm the one that got you kicked out of school, and I am the one that you should blame for almost ruining your life, it was me.
Almost ruining my life? Yeah, I went to live with my dad in Maul.
He let me do anything I wanted.
I ate pizza and cookie dough for breakfast.
I had a race car bed.
I lost my virginity at 13.
It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Hi! You two are back together, huh? Dude, she's a former Miss Oxnard with no sense of smell, and her dad owns an airport.
Course we're back together.
Latro, boys.
Okay, see That right there makes total sense in the world.
Yeah, but we can feel good about solving the case.
Don't you "eh" me.
Dude, I broke up a highly intricate race-fixing syndicate while wearing a shirt designed by a monkey coming off a three-day sugar binge.
Yes, yes, you did, Shawn.
But you still haven't figured out who the second spitter was in Miss Lepky's class.
- Gus.
- Yes? You didn't.
Yes, I did.
You did that? - And you never told me about it? - You don't know all my secrets, Shawn.
I guess I too am a man of untold mysteries.
Burton Guster, I am seeing you in a completely different light.
You are, dare I say, dastardly.
Hey, I didn't want Miss Lepky to get hurt or anything, but when Jimmy got blamed, my mouth was shut.
Face it, Shawn.
I am, and always will be, that good.
That's why my friends in school used to call me "the g.
" That's funny, I thought they called you "big head burton.
" Don't you ever say that name.
- I know it was you that started that.
- I'm sorry, Gus.
I have a knack for alliteration.
I'm a slave to it.
Besides, how many words start with b, really? About 1000.
How about bold? Black? Beautiful? - Who's gonna call you "Black Burton"? - You get my point, Shawn.
All right.
I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna buy you an ice cream.
And we're gonna discuss some new, fresh to death nicknames.
How about "Burton, the billowy bear"? What? I'm just Spitballing.
It's my first shot.