Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Bounty Hunters!

Who is that? Maybe only the coolest guy ever.
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
Had to do a little extra paperwork.
Let's hit it.
Sorry, dad, we were just checking out that supercop.
Shawn, that is not a supercop.
That guy is a bounty hunter.
What's that, a cop with a cooler name? He's not cool, Shawn.
He's a nuisance.
He's a privately hired half criminal operating outside the law.
Shawn, look at me.
He's not about justice, he's about the money.
- But they look cool, right? - All right, listen to me, son.
If you want to arrest somebody, you do it the right way.
You do it with a badge.
You got it? Let's hit it.
All right, everybody, listen up, listen up! Take a close look at this picture.
His name is Dwayne Tancana.
on his sheet.
Just did 36 months on his last beef.
But he's upped his game recently when he was charged with the murder of Isabella Cole.
Found dead after a robbery invasion at her home.
He was supposed to be arraigned this morning, but he managed to escape police custody.
He's on the run.
Considered armed and dangerous.
- Excuse me, sir? - Yes.
How did he manage to escape? What, are you writing a movie script about this? Why don't you focus on the facts I'm giving you instead of compiling your own? You know what, detective? I got this.
It was my fault.
Tancana was in my custody at the time.
I was escorting him from holding to the courthouse.
He was cuffed, but not leg shackled.
One of the uniformed officers that was following us stopped to tie his shoe.
I should have lagged back, but I didn't.
We rounded a blind corner, he took the opportunity to head butt me, making a run for it while I was down.
Okay, can we move on now? Time is noton our side, people.
You will all be assigned locations I want you to track and monitor.
- Mcnab! - Yes, sir.
Where's my damn coffee? Sir, I put it in the conference room for you, sir.
Who the hell is that? That's Byrd Tatums.
A bounty hunter.
There's a $50,000 bounty on Tancana.
Bounty hunter there are no bounty hunters allowed in this station! Get him out of here, now.
He was hired by the victim's husband, Loman Cole.
They wanna talk to you.
His lips are touching my personal mug.
Look, Mr.
Cole, I understand how you must feel.
But you should take comfort in knowing that myself, detective Lassiter, and the entire department are doing everything they can to bring Tancana back into custody.
Oh, I think you've already done your part.
And that was allowing my wife's killer to escape.
Now, maybe you can just step aside and let Mr.
Tatums do what he does.
All do respect, sir, what we did was apprehend the man, arrest him, and charge him with murder.
How's that working out for you? You listen to me, pal.
This is our investigation.
And that is my damn coffee.
Well, first of all, I think we should go to the airport and brief security on Tancana's stats.
- Then I was thinking.
- Yeah, look, O'Hara.
Actually, uh, here's the thing.
I'm gonna have you stick around here, and I'm gonna go out and take care of the rest of that.
- Wait a minute, are you punishing me? - No! No, I'm not punishing you.
It's look, with the chief out of town, this all falls on my shoulders, so it's my call.
I'm gonna work the field and I need you here.
Oh, my god, you are punishing me.
Look, I need to be out there.
I need to find him.
We will.
I promise you.
We've got every bit of manpower on this.
- Every bit? - Yes, every bit.
No way, O'Hara.
I am not gonna do that.
We don't need them on this.
Should I dial the number or do you want to? - O'Hara, this is my call.
- It's ringing.
- What did you do? - You said to call.
No, I said it's my call whether or not to call.
Uh, hi, Shawn.
It's, uh, Carlton Lassiter.
So all I'm asking you to do is track Tancana and get back to me with any psychic leads, or whatever the hell it is you call 'em, on his whereabouts.
- Dude, it's Byrd.
Remember Byrd? - How could I forget him? He looks exactly the same way as when we were kids.
- Same vest, same Shaun Cassidy hair.
- Guys, here.
Over here.
Listen to me.
You are, in no uncertain terms, to make any physical contact with this man, do you understand? He's highly dangerous.
He strangled her with his bare hands.
He knocked her husband out with a vase.
I don't need to remind you the reputation of one of our own is at stake.
Just so we're clear.
Just so there's no confusion, let me explain this one more time in terms I know you'll understand.
Cops are here, bounty hunters are here, psychics are here.
- We beat bounty hunters.
- By a knuckle.
Where are orthodontists on this scale? I'm asking for your help.
Don't make me ask twice.
Give us a second.
I have a question for Mr.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
My name is Shawn Spencer.
This is my partner Burton Guster.
I'm a psychic here at the department, and I have one question for you.
The $50,000 bounty, does that apply exclusively to Byrd here? I don't care who gets the 50,000.
It goes to whoever brings Tancana in, and fast.
Thank you.
That's good to know.
You gotta be kidding me.
- My god, Cole has amazing hair.
- Shawn, focus.
- Did you smell it? - Of course I did.
Ginger blossoms.
But who cares? I care, deeply.
That's kangaroo paste.
- Kangaroo what? - Hair gel.
You can only get it in Australia.
I've been trying to get my hands on it for months.
Maybe he has a contact from "down unda.
- Shawn.
- My hair's hungry for it, Gus.
Okay, Lassie! The answer is an enthusiastic and sprightly yes.
You've got yourself a couple of bounty hunters.
# I know you know # # that I'm not telling the truth # # I know you know # # they just don't have any proof # # embrace the deception # # learn how to bend # # your worst inhibitions # # tend to psych you out in the end # Hey, man! You remember us? Uh, we had a moment once when we were kids.
Well, let me think.
But you winked at us.
Well, that was probably involuntary.
I have a blepharospasm in my right eye.
It makes me twitch.
Gus and I are brand new to the bounty hunter scene.
We were hoping you had a few friendly tips for us.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Uh, stay out of my way.
That didn't seem very friendly at all.
Look, if I play my cards right, this is gonna be my last run.
I'm gonna collect my 50 g's, and then I'm quitting the game.
I'm retiring.
What? My bad.
Usually right when someone's about to retire, they get shot at, yeah? Okay, I don't need you peons screwing this up for me, you got it? I just put a down payment on a bar in key west.
Who are the other investors, Tango and Cash? You know, it's interesting you're finding time to make fun when your pretty little blonde lady detective dropped the ball so hard.
Tell you what, why don't you boys just step aside and let daddy clean up your mess? Look, just because we didn't go to the costume shop and get a bounty hunter's wrist bracelet and accessories kit, doesn't mean that we won't be bringing it in a big way.
Well, go ahead and bring it.
Be careful out there.
People get hurt.
Oh, and by the way these don't come in "tiny.
" We'll just get a women's large.
I think I hate that guy.
Yeah, that's the way it usually goes when you meet your childhood heroes, Gus.
Nothing but heartache and disappointment.
Remember how sad you were when you ran into judge Reinhold at the dry cleaners? Shawn, we need to get on this right away.
Yeah, for Juliet.
She's had our backs, now we're gonna have her back.
- Jules, you okay? - Fine.
What are you doing? Oh, I'm disassembling my side arm and then assembling it again.
I time myself.
It's an old academy stress exercise.
What are you watching? Oh, it's a video that a bystander took with his cell phone of Tancana escaping from the courthouse.
Is he diabetic or does he have a heart condition? Yeah, he has a heart condition.
How did you know that? Oh, it came to me.
I just, you know, I didn't have the energy for the whole "hand to head" thing.
I'm leaning inquite nicely here.
Did Tancana have any family in town that we know of? Yes, he has a cousin who's a short order cook at marvin's off la cumbre.
But hello, don't you think that's the first place we checked? Yeah, hello, Gus.
Look, we gotta go.
But you have my word, we're gonna make this right.
I already told the blonde detective there, I haven't even spoken to my cousin in months.
- I thought he was in prison.
- He was.
Until this morning.
When he jumped his arraignment and escaped from the courthouse.
- He's on the run.
- Well, that's awful.
I'm in shock.
Yeah, you look like it.
Yeah, so much so you're just gonna drink some coffee, keep cooking.
Helps me cope.
- Dude,Tancana's here.
- What? How do you know he's here? Look at those two truckers.
They're the ones that ordered the burgers.
That's why they're grappling over the ketchup.
And look at that dude in the corner.
Waitress already dropped off the russian dressing.
Which means he is waiting on the reuben.
But look what he's making in the corner there.
Egg whites.
That's not on the menu at a greasy spoon like this, I'll tell you that much.
But it's just what a heart patient would eat to stay healthy.
- Let's get him! - No, uh-uh, Shawn.
We're bounty hunters.
That's what bounty hunters do.
We are not bounty hunters, Shawn.
I'm a pharmaceutical salesman.
And Lassiter made it very clear.
He said, "in no uncertain terms.
" These are certain terms, Shawn.
Certain terms.
Somebody forgot to drink their courageous juice this morning.
Get in the car.
Dwayne! Take off now! Enjoying that hamburger, huh? We need to get out of here.
Wait, let's stop and think about this for a second.
I don't need to think about anything, Shawn! I wanna get out of here! But Gus, we were there! We saw him! What are we gonna tell Jules? Tell her you're gonna be late.
Uh, I think you're making a big mistake here.
We need to go.
Drive! Drive drive drive drive drive! You guys are toast! You hear me? You're toast! Dude, we're, like, the best bounty hunters ever.
The criminals come straight into our car.
Already cuffed! about another mile on this road, turn left on Cabrillo.
I gotta make a stop at a house down there.
Got some bad news for you, buddy.
The only stop we'll be making is at the police station.
I'm turning you in.
'Cause we are bounty hunters.
He's a bounty hunter.
I'm a pharmaceutical salesman.
That's good.
You're bounty hunters.
What is everybody's deal? Like, what is going on here? Is it because I'm not wearing the vest? Is that what it is? You know what, the truth is, I'm a psychic detective.
This is my partner, Galileo Humpkins.
You know, for the first time, I'm grateful you didn't use my real name.
All right, you one of those psychic people? One of those crystal ball people? Well, look into your crystal ball and see that I'm innocent.
- I didn't kill anybody.
- Right, you just rob them.
That's what I do.
I'm a thief.
But I'm not a killer.
I had a partner in this one, Gord Delbecchio.
Gord wanted me to break into the basement and disarm the alarm, so I did.
Woman was killed in the bedroom on the second floor.
- And I swear I never even saw the lady.
- Sure.
That's why you ran? If I was guilty, do you really think I would have stayed in this town? - That's what your attorney is for.
- I don't have some slick attorney.
I don't even have an attorney, man.
I got a public defender.
You know, I'm probably facing the chair on this one.
Why didn't you tell the cops about Delbecchio? If I let the cops try to find him, he'd be long gone by now.
Aw, that looks painful.
So let me get this straight.
You just let him get away.
There was nothing I could do.
He drove off in a car.
Did you manage to get a plate? No.
But it was a blue echo.
It was a child's car.
He was with those idiots, you know? The psychic and the other idiot.
Lassie, what's happening? It's Lassie.
Yes, I do know what uncertain terms are.
- I'm the one that had to tell Gus.
- No, you listen to me, Spencer, all right? You get back here now or I will charge you both with harboring a fugitive.
Do you understand? Wow, somebody didn't drink their grateful juice this morning.
We're fine, okay? He's cuffed.
I'm bringing him back in.
You're welcome.
Do me a favor, put Jules on the phone for a second.
- Ooh, dude! Labradoodle.
- Where? He wants to talk to you.
Shawn, where are you guys? Let us send some black and whites.
You want a black and white cookie? - Tancana, you want a cookie? - Can't eat wheat or yeast.
Shawn, I'm serious.
Just stay where you are.
Yeah, so that we can't collect the $50,000 bounty.
I don't think so.
We're close, okay? But answer me this.
What do you know about a Klaus Delbecchio? - Gord.
- Gord Delbecchio.
Shawn, don't buy into Tancana's story.
We have checked out Delbecchio.
He has a record.
He used to partner up with Tancana, but he didn't this time, okay? Just get in here.
And be careful.
Admit it, you're a little turned on by the whole bounty hunter thing, aren't you? Come on.
Shawn Spencer, bounty hunter? I mean, I know the psychic thing is sexy.
I mean, that's a given.
It's a sexy thing.
Shawn Spencer, bounty hunter? It's hot.
It's hot! Hello? Jules? Jules? Is it because I'm not wearing a vest? Is it the vest? Hello? I think she hung up, Shawn.
Look, we never made any actual cash from the Cole robbery.
Delbecchio kept talking about working something a lot bigger.
Said bragging, blowing about all the cash he was gonna make.
I think I know where's he's hiding out.
It's only, like, five minutes out of the way.
We swing by there, we check it out, and you'll know I'll telling the truth.
Shawn, what are you doing? What is that face, Shawn? I don't like that face.
I'm sensing something, Gus.
That's what I do, I'm a psychic.
I sense things, remember? No, Shawn, you're not doing this to me again.
No, not this time.
Not with a criminal in the back of my car.
Gus, don't be a little girl about this, okay? It's only gonna take five minutes.
I'm the one driving this car right now.
And this car is going to the police station.
Where all the police are.
Hello? Got it.
They've got him! Downstairs in his car! I wanna thank you for a very colorful and eventful stint as a bounty hunter, Shawn.
But consider me retired.
Well, look at it this way.
Now you got a story if you ever go on Letterman.
Now I'm gonna head home, take a long nap, and wait for the bruises to show up on my wrist.
That actually sounds pretty good.
I'll come along.
It's been a long time since we've napped together.
Let's make a quick stop first.
This is not a quick stop, Shawn! Sorry, my dad's boat only goes so fast.
I thought I was clear.
I'm retired! Will you stop doing that? He said take a right at Cabrillo, head for the pierto a house.
You do realize we're noton land anymore, right? He said house.
But what he meant was houseboat.
It's not a tourist spot.
That's not a fishing hole.
There's no reason to be there.
I'm not getting on this boat, Shawn.
If Delbecchio's on the boat, he can hear us.
Toss me that rope, buddy.
Now, listen, I'm okay with you staying on the boat.
Just be careful of sharks.
I'm not suremy dad's little skiff is shark safe.
Dude, I'm pretty sure this is the boat from dead calm.
Great, now we have to worry about Billy Zane too? Psychic bloodhound just couldn't leave it be, huh? Easy, easy.
Take it easy.
I told you back at the station I'm gonna do what I have to do to clear my name.
If that's coming to Delbecchio's hideout and finding the evidence, that's what I'm gonna do.
Why don't you just put down the fish bonker You're making Gus very nervous.
And let me do what it is I do, Dwayne.
I can help you.
All right.
Take a shot.
Thank you.
Look at that.
Money bands.
Usually used to pack 2 or $3,000 stacks.
I told you he was working on some cash deal.
Yes, you did.
I think I just found his phone.
Well, turn it on.
What do you got? Battery's dead.
Just hold on to it.
I believe Isabella Cole was wearing this when she was killed.
That puts Delbecchio at least close enough to the body to snatch this off.
It's evidence.
Circumstantial, but it could lead to something.
It's Byrd! - Hello? - Shawn? - Dad! - Yeah, hey, Shawn.
You still coming over for dinner tonight? Hold on a sec.
Are will still going to dinner at my dad's tonight? Uh, look, we're gonna have to get back to you on that, dad.
- We're in the middle of something.
- Sounds like you're on a boat.
- Was that a gunshot? - No, don't be ridiculous.
We're just we're sitting in the psych office watching a movie.
"Midnight Run".
Have you seen it? Give it up, peons! I got this.
I got this! Open it up! I will shoot you! Open it! Let's go! We are out of here! - You didn't tie up the boat? - Me? Last guy out the boatties it up! Everyone knows that! You asked for the rope! Why would you ask for the rope if you didn't intend on tying it up, Shawn? What are you, the ambassador of rope etiquette? Did he just wink at me? This time I really am gonna shoot you guys.
Shawn, if we ever get out of this alive, I'm gonna kill you! You've got to be kidding me! How can a man that big have so much stamina? I'm a psychic! I can tell you where he's going! I told you she'd be here.
Wow, she really is taking this to heart.
Hey, Jules, you okay? Juliet.
What are you doing here? Catching up on some summer reading? Gus and I were almost murdered here earlier, so we came back for sentimental reasons.
Do you know what it's like to have an internal voice that tells you what the right thing to do is all of the time and you do it, and it works and you're good at what you do, and then one day it just shuts off? And in that moment there is no voice, and you just have to listen to yourself.
And in an instant, in a millisecond, you make a tiny, but crucial mistake and screw up so badly it affects your whole life? No, I do not.
But Gus here might.
Look, I promise you, we're gonna find him.
And we're gonna bring him back in.
How are you gonna do that, Shawn? Because I have been through everything.
I have combed these photos over and over again looking for anything, any clues, and I keep coming up with a big, fat zero.
So what are you doing? You're just giving up? No, I just have to go back to the station to deal with something.
Be my guest.
They photographed his tattoos.
Look at this one.
It looks handmade, like a prison tattoo.
It could be a girlfriend or an ex.
We can cross check for women named Barb or Barbara who may have run in his circles.
He could be hiding out with her.
BARB Bar 13 - Gus? - What? You're a genius.
Bar 13 Not exactly family friendly here.
Just pretend like we're in road house.
Fine, but I'm Patrick Swayze.
Sam Elliott.
Excuse me, good sir? I'd like to see a list of your california whites, please.
Listen, I don't know which fraternity dared you to walk in here, but you better run on back to campus before you get beat so bad, it's gonna hurt to cry.
Actually, we're meeting a friend here.
Dwayne Tancana.
You know him? Never heard of him.
Mm, bummer.
Let's go.
Dude, I got this.
Really! I don't think you're telling methe truth, giant guy.
I know he's here.
About yay high, covered in tats.
Loves to run.
Look, let's not play games.
Don't embarrass yourself with this tough guy routine.
Tell you what, I'm gonna count to three.
Nice work, Shawn.
I got it! I said, I got it.
There you are! They came here looking for me, so I got it.
Now let'em down.
Let me go! Let me stop! Let me go! You're lucky.
And maybe next time you might think about a tic-tac.
I gotta say, I'm impressed, Shawn.
Beginning to believe this whole psychic ability thing.
You tracked me here.
That is impressive.
- Dwayne.
- Mm-hmm? What I really need from you is to let us take you back to the police station and into custody? If you two try to take me in, my friends will kill you.
And if by somes trange stroke of luck, you manage to get me hand cuffed, I'll escape, because I've done it before.
Dude, that's what we forgot.
There's a way out, though.
I'll walk out the front door with you, just the three of us.
If if you use your psychic ability to help me find Delbecchio.
Prove my innocence.
So, you got a decision to make.
Are you going to accept my generous offer, or am I gonna turn you over to my friends? They don't play nice.
I'll do it.
- One condition.
- What? I get that guy's vest.
All right, first things first.
Swing by the psych office, plug in Delbecchio's phone, see if anything survived the water damage caused by Gus.
Caused? That I caused? That I caused? Maybe if someone would have tied up the boat, we wouldn't have been swimming around like the couple from open water.
There's one guy right there at the dock.
- Did you run the registration? - Yes, it just came through.
It's registered to Delbecchio since 2001.
All right, good work, detective.
Gonna comb this place for Tancana's prints.
He must be after Delbecchio for some reason.
Duck, it's Byrd! Great, now we can't even goto our own office? Byrd is stalking us now.
We're harboring a fugitive, Shawn.
Where are we gonna go with a fugitive? Yeah, you can you can play with that.
Gus! Dude, would you hurry up? Just dry it off already.
- I'm not sure when my dad's getting home.
- I can't will it to dry faster, Shawn.
And I'm not plugging this inuntil all signs of moisture have been cleared.
I cheated death three times in the last seven hours.
And I'm not going out by electrocution.
I thought you said we were safe here, anyway.
Look, I know he'sat the grocery store getting stuff for the dinner, but I can't will him to spend more time squeezing melons, now can I? - Really? - Oh, hey, Shawn! - Hey, dad! - You're early, aren't you? Oh, we're excited! We're gonna eat.
- We're gonna - Guster! What are you doing messing around with my crap over there? Stop.
Oh, I'm just charging my phone.
I hope you don't mind.
And who's this? Oh, this is,um uh, this is an old, uh - Camp counselor of Gus and mine.
- Oh, camp counselor, huh? Yeah, he rolled into town, looked us up.
Gave us a call.
How fun is that, huh? Get over here and meet my pop.
This is, uh, white feather.
Pleased to meet you, pop.
Well, pleased to meet you too, white feather.
What camp was that again? Oh, dad, you don't rember anything from my childhood.
It's camp tiki mama jama.
- Tikihama.
- Tikihama! Exactly! And white feather here was very good to us kids back then.
Is Mr.
White feather going to be joining us for dinner? What are you serving? Skirt steak.
Oh, no.
He can't eat that.
Do you have egg whites? So I'm gonna go ahead and let you two get more acquainted.
'Cause that feels right.
- I mean,that just feels good.
- Shawn.
- And you can tell - Shawn! about all our good times at camp Tikibarber.
I still can't get it to work.
How long do you think Tancanacan stall in there? Not long.
Wait, I got it.
That's all that's left? Yeah, that's what happens when you drop cell phones in water.
I need some paper.
All right, look, clearly he's either dropping off or picking up.
Money from someone somewhere.
So you were Shawn's camp counselor? Camp? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Camp counselor, yeah.
Yeah oh, I remember Shawn.
Yeah, he was a great kid.
Wonderful kid.
- Oh, really? - Mm-hmm.
- Is that right? - Mm-hmm.
Had lots of camp spirit.
Team player.
Oh, a real stickler for the rules.
Is that right? Okay, go ahead.
Pick a letter.
Shawn, seriously, I don't wanna play games.
- Can we just - Pick a letter, Gus.
- Shawn.
- Any letter.
- No.
- Pick a letter.
- No.
- Gus, pick a letter.
- Pick.
- No.
- Gus! - T, I pick T.
There's no T.
- U.
- No.
- L.
- Uh-uh.
- J.
- No.
- N.
- No.
- X.
- No.
Shawn, have you already solved the puzzle? First of all, you're dead.
Secondly, of course I solved the puzzle.
The second that I saw it.
- Meadow park.
- I don't have a hi-top fade, Shawn.
Google Meadow park.
So Delbecchio was meeting someone in the park to drop off money? This camp, what were you a, uh, counselor for? Archery and drama.
Drama, really.
Like what? Oh, original stuff, you know.
Um, musical-y things.
Camp songs, we a lot of camp songs.
Oh, really? How neat.
You remember any of it? - What, the songs? - Yeah.
No, it was a long time ago.
Nah, come on, I'm sure you remember something.
I'd love to hear it.
Take me right back to my kid's camp days.
They grow up so quick.
- I don't remember any.
- Sing! I can't.
Sing! Oh Tikihama.
Oh what you are reaches nearand spreads out far camp Tikihama.
Great, no meadow park.
I searched everything within - You reach us near.
- Is he singin'in there? - ING.
- What? Gus, ING.
And I-N-G to the end.
Hit search.
To crystal lakes sing out loud Meadow parking.
Who is this guy in my kitchen? All right, look, dad, let me explain.
No, don't, don't.
Don't say another word.
I don't wanna know.
Just get whatever it is out of my house before I have to call someone or some agency.
Gus, Gus, slow down.
What the heck? I'm sensing we just found Delbecchio.
Well, there goes my alibi.
- What are you doing? - No touchy dead body, Shawn.
That was really fast.
Gus, come here, quick.
- No.
- Get out of the car.
Come here.
I'm not coming out there.
- Would you get out of the car? - Make me.
Get out of the car! Okay, I need you to get out of the car.
I need the super sniffer.
I'm not smelling some dead guy's finger, Shawn.
Me put this super smeller up to some dead guy oh, my.
Is that Oh, no he didn't.
I'll be I've smelled that before! I knew it! We have got to find Byrd before he can turn in Tancana.
How? It's not like we have $50,000 in a briefcase somewhere.
- Nice, buddy.
- What? What? So are you planning on letting me in any time soon on what your plan is from here? Gus, you don't want this to be a repeat of the time.
I told you what happened at the end of war games.
You didn't talk to me for a week.
Just wait, it's better.
What's in there, anyway? A bunch of expire deczema swabs.
It's all I could find in the back of your car.
Yo, Byrd! Ah, Spencer, what a surprise.
Yeah, I'm chock full of 'em.
- Hey, what are you doing right now? - Oh, right now.
I'm about 30 seconds away from collecting 50,000 bucks, that's what I'm doing.
Ooh, $50,000.
Nice, that's very exciting.
That's a lot of shot glasses that say "Byrd" on them.
Get to the point, Spencer.
And make it fast.
Well, maybe you didn't know this.
But there's a whole lot of money stashed away from the robbery.
Yeah, Tancana told us where it was.
And now all that money is in my briefcase.
Is this a briefcase or an attache? I think it's a briefcase.
Attaches have a softer shell.
Really, that's all that differentiates them, a softer shell? Well, attache does have a better ring to it.
Let's go with attache.
Get to it, Spencer.
Look, you said this was your last hurrah, right? Why not make it a really, really fat one? We'll trade you what's in the attache for Tancana, straight up.
Now, would I wanna do that? Because what's in the attache attache sounds pretentious, dude.
Well, it could be the way you're saying it.
- You say it.
- Attache.
What's in the briefcase is four times more than what Cole's gonna pay you.
And for those of you playing along at home, that's $200,000.
So why wouldn't you take the money? You allergic? No, we love money.
Particularly Gus.
But this time we're not doing it for the money.
We're doing it for the girl.
You know what, Shawn, let's get out of here.
This guy wouldn't know a good deal if it bit him in the seat of his Han Solo action figure pants.
No, wait wait wait wait wait.
Toss me the money.
You think this is my first money-for-hostage exchange? No.
First you give us Tancana, and then Gus tosses you the briefcase.
No, I wanna see the money first.
Sure, and why don't we just invite the whole police force out to count it for you while we're at it? - Yoo-hoo.
- Same time, Byrd.
Same time.
I'll count to three.
One two three.
What the hell is this? That was your big plan? Really? Really, Shawn? No, this was the plan.
Why is he winking at me? It's involuntary.
You got him.
Thank god.
What kind of an idiot pulls a gun in front of a police station? Drop it, Byrd.
I have a license to carry.
I'm licensed to arrest.
Now, as much as I've thought about shooting these two from time to time, you cannot pull a gun on innocent civilians.
So drop it! Down on your knees.
Hands behind your head.
Let's take you inside to cool off, bounty hunter.
Pass me the satchel.
Ooh, satchel! I didn't think of that one.
I think things are gonna go a little differently this time.
Let's go.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, I doubted you guys.
It's okay.
We all make mistakes.
What do you think, buddy? How about that nap? Shawn, are you forgetting something? I know.
You need a night-light.
Shawn! Oh, right.
Whoa, guys! Hold up, hold up! Sorry, with the whole guns drawn thing and all the screaming and Byrd's ridiculous feathery hair, I forgot to tell you you got the wrong guy.
And it's not just a murder, it's a double murder.
- What the hell are you talking about? - It's Cole! It's Loman Cole! He must have been planning on murdering his wife, because he used the break-in as the perfect opportunity to strangle her.
And pin it on Tancana, a career criminal, who would go down easy, right? I have no idea what you're talking about.
He even knocked himself out with a vase to sell the break-in.
Because you can't be blamed for murder when you're unconscious.
What you didn't know was that Tancana wasn't alone in the house that night.
His partner, Delbecchio, was on the second floor.
And he's the one who actually saw you.
He stole the necklace off your dead wife's body, may she rest in peace.
So he contacted you, told you that he saw you kill your wife, and blackmailed you in exchange for his silence.
Delbecchio kept talking about working something bigger.
Blowing about all the cash he was gonna make.
You paid him once.
But then he wanted more.
So you set up a drop-off at the meadow parking garage.
And that's where you applied the old Cole specialty move.
The strangle.
And you might have gotten away with it if it wasn't for your own greediness.
What greediness? I have all the money I need.
Not greediness for money.
Greediness for fabulous hair.
Unlike your poor, defenseless wife, Delbecchio fought back.
Oh, I can see it.
I can see it very clearly now! But mostly Mostly I can smell it? All over Delbecchio's hands.
Smell what? Who smells ginger blossoms? - I do.
- It's unmistakable.
It's hair gel.
Kangaroo paste.
Trust me, if you swab Delbecchio's hands and Cole's hair, you'll see that he was there.
Psychic bullcrap.
Huh? - Do you have an alibi? - I don't need an alibi, I'm not guilty.
Oh, well, that's okay.
'Cause we can just look at the security cameras from the parking garage.
- There were no cameras in that parking gara - Oh.
Cuff him, detective O'Hara.
Got some questions for you in the interrogation room.
I, uh guess that takes care of everybody.
Okay, Tancana, you may have beaten the murder rap, but you're gonna do some time for that robbery and that escape.
Well, robbery over murder, that's better, right? What are you guys, pals now? I'm sorry to break up this tender moment, but don't think I'm not gonna be really looking closely into the crap you two must have pulled in the last 14 hours.
You know, when you reprimand us, you might try using your feeling voice.
- Otherwise, all we hear is - The vest looks good.
Shut up.
Look, I really screwed up today.
And I just wanna say thank you for being there for me.
It really meant a lot.
It was a mistake.
That's what friends are for.
Well, it's been a long day.
Well, I guess you have to get home and feed your parrot.
Shawn, I don't have a parrot.
Well, in that case Shawn, what are you doing? - Nothing.
- Really? Because if you're doing what it looks like you're doing, it's gonna be one of those things we were just talking about.
- What's that? - A mistake.
I agree, but that's clearly not what we're doing.
Really? What do you say that we're doing? I call it very close talking.
Ah, I see.
Do you have anything else to say? Mm no.
I think I'm good for now.
Well, good night.
'Night, detective.