Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Gus' Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy

No one ever gets their ball back from mean old man Fuller's yard.
This sucks.
I know.
We were tied 114 to 114.
And I was up.
We weren't supposed to be playing with my new ball.
I'll give you 1,000 outs if you go get it.
- 2,000.
- Done.
Okay, you got it, all right, almost got it.
There I go - Gus! - Shawn! - Is the ball all right? - I can't get back over.
Get that ball off my grass! - Get out of my yard! - Gus, I'm really gonna Miss ya.
Ho, buzz McNab.
The Christmas spirits told me to give this to you.
Oh, my goodness, a Daisy Red Ryder.
I had one of these when I was a kid.
It was the reason I wanted to become a policeman.
Well, merry Christmas from me and Gus.
Thanks, guys.
- He's gonna shoot his eye out.
- Yes, he is.
That was amazing.
How did you know that? Uh, the room where I take naps shares a vent with the room where they do the psychological evals.
Lassie! I - I hate snow globes.
Now, that's strange.
My psychic senses told me specifically that snow globes didn't give you nightmares about being trapped in a clear ball with snow that burns your skin off.
Well, merry Christmas from me and Gus.
Mr.
Mittens says it felt just like going to sleep, and he doesn't hold it against you at all.
Kitty Heaven It's just like east beach.
That is the best news ever.
Merry Christmas from both of This is a very special gift.
It's clearly just from me.
Don't appropriate.
Not at Christmas time.
Thank you so much, Shawn.
'Tis the season, Jules.
This is exactly what I need to get into the holiday spirit before my family arrives.
Oh, should I meet them, or is it too soon? Too soon for what? Nothing.
O'Hara's family Christmas, huh? My family's Christmas are the best with tradional's scolish, games and music and crafts.
You guys should totally come by tonight if you'd like.
I do love a scottish craft.
But, uh, my father and I have been invited over to the Gusters for an old-fashioned holiday dinner.
Maybe next time.
I can think of someone who could use a little cheer this time of year.
Recently divorced.
- Separated.
- Estranged? - Embattled? - Yes.
And all alone for the holidays.
All right! Who keeps telling people I want snow globes for Christmas? Dude, I am really stoked.
In over 20 years of friendship, I can count on one shop teacher's hand, the number of times your folks have had us over.
I assume it's because they can't stand my father.
Understandably.
Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that.
What would you say necessarily? Let's just say it's not because of your dad.
Your house is too small? - Didn't have enough extra chairs? - No.
- Hiding a jewish family in your attic? - No.
Wait a minute.
It's not because of me.
Gus? I can't believe this.
I feel like pe le pew when he looked up pew in the dictionary.
Le pew.
Whuh? No.
My parents always thought you were a bad influence on me.
- Understandably.
- A bad influence? - Yes.
- Dude, that's absurd.
Because of you, Shawn, I got my first "B," broke my first curfew, accidentally killed the state bird How was I supposed to know he couldn't hold his own liquor? Now I know what to get your parents for Christmas.
What? I'm gonna lead 'em on a walk down memory lane, and give them the gift of seeing what a positive influence I have been on their son.
Dad, why do you insist on getting a real tree? You probably chopped down some poor animal's home.
Yeah, that's the vicious little bastard right there.
- Can we go, please? - Whoa, Shawn, Shawn? Look, I don't wanna be late to the Gusters.
It's important that this dinner go well.
Aren't you forgetting something? Your gift.
Go on.
Shake it, rattle it, feel it, sniff it.
Do whatever the hell you want with it before it goes in that stocking.
Then you got one week to figure out what it is.
Dad, this ridiculous competion means way more to you than it does to me.
That's why you haven't won since you were eight-years-old.
Christmas '92 was a draw.
- You know that.
- Oh, so you do care.
Go on.
That's it.
That's it? - You're sure? - That's all I need.
Oh, here's yours.
Merry Christmas.
- You are never - Shh.
Wait-wait-wait.
All right, time's up.
In the stockings they go.
I'm gonna figure it out, Shawn.
I always do.
Same time.
Oh, I think there's a surprise in here for someone.
I'm grown.
You don't have to do this every year.
We hear you, son, we hear ya.
And we're sure you're very happy still being a sales rep.
I am.
Pharmaceutical sales is a very desirable field.
Of course, and you're doing very well for yourself.
That's $100, boy.
No.
Not gonna happen.
Turkey's ready! - Finally! - It smells good, Winnie.
Why smell it when you can taste it? Speaking of smoked turkey, you know why Gus isn't a smoker? 'cause when we were kids I made him smoke an entire pack of cigarettes, and he discovered he hated the taste.
Pretty good influence if I do say so myself.
Probably what gave him asthma.
Probably what stunted his growth too.
I'm five-ten-and-a-half.
We hear you, son.
We hear ya.
Gus, you're tall enough.
Shawn, you're an idiot, and to be fair, there's a lot of complicated causes for asthma.
Now, let's eat.
You know, it was actually Gus' asthma medication that first interested him in pharmaceuticals.
- So you're welcome for that.
- You made your point, Shawn.
- You're a good friend.
- Yes, you're very close.
So close, I wonder if he wouldn't be married by now if he wasn't spending so much time with you.
Trust me.
I get mine.
I mean I'm just waiting for Mrs.
Right.
We at least thought you'd have a house by now.
I have time.
The market's still cooling off.
Yeah.
So's the food.
You won't have time if you keep using all your extra energy with this gypsy detective agency nonsense you two have cooked up.
Mrs.
G.
It's a psychic detective agency.
Psych.
And how does this differ from that pet baptism business you had as kids? First of all, that was an LLC.
And I'm the one that let Gus believe that Jesus was black.
The whole time we were grow Growing up, which of course he is.
He is that.
That he is that.
I say we skip old man Fuller's house.
Nobody wants to sing to his old, mean behind.
Can't hear the song over his cussing anyway.
Oh, come on, you guys! We're all adults now.
Can't we let bygones be bygones? Even old man Fuller can use some Christmas spirit! Come on! We wish you a merry Christmas we wish you a merry Christmas - and a happy new year - Mr.
Fuller! He would have been throwing rocks at us by now if he were here.
We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new Yeah, it's an apparent suicide, but, uh, we're still working the scene.
Dude, what if this wasn't suicide? What if this was murder? Shawn, it's Christmas time.
- Can you please leave work at the office? - They've already moved on.
Look, there is no way that an 80-year-old man in Fuller's condition could have hoisted himself over that bannister.
And check it out.
He was clearly looking forward to watching some tv tonight.
While he ate his lobster.
- You may be on to something.
- Plus, I psych it up nice for your parents, they might be impressed, you know? Throw in a little razzle dazzle.
Maybe they realize I'm not such a bad influence after all.
Which may get them off my case for deciding to go into business with you.
Now you're feeling me, you convertible lebaron.
Are you guys coming or what? Sure thing, pop.
Stop! I'm sensing something.
What is it, Shawn? Is it like the other 26 and a half crimes we solved for the police department? I'm sensing a struggle.
Oh, please! Fuller's unconscious.
No, he was just an old man with a little soft skull.
Oh, someone's wrapping a rope around his neck! What I'm sensing here, ladies and gentlemen, is murder.
Spencer, old people are always offing themselves during the holidays.
Well, according to CSU, Shawn might be right.
Colorado State University? Crime scene unit.
- Them too.
- Let me see that.
Blunt force trauma, signs of struggle.
My Lord.
He really is psychic.
Maybe we were wrong about the boys working together This time.
Right.
Get him outta here.
It's an open crime scene, people, I need witness statements from each and every one of you carolers.
Crap, I'm running late.
Lassie, come on, man.
Handle your business.
Gus and I will take 'em down to the station tomorrow.
- We have passes - Which practically makes us co-workers.
Isn't that right, big L? That hurt, man! But when they cut us, we bleed blue.
Carlton! Hi! I'm so glad you could make it! I hope you're in a hogmanay mood.
I doubt it.
Whatever that is.
The first footer! Oh, the first footer, it's scottish tradition to celebrate the first visitor of the holidays.
You.
Why are they all staring at me? Well, the first footer traditionally brings a gift of food.
All I've got is a cliff bar in my car.
I'd really prefer to save it for my morning run.
So these are my nephews.
Drake, Finn, and Isaac.
Boys, this is detective Lassiter.
He works with auntie Julie.
I like it better in here already.
I was helping them with their Christmas crafts.
It's always my favorite part.
Look at this, auntie julie! - Look at mine! - Oh, my goodness.
This looks fantastic, but you know, maybe detective Lassiter would like to help out.
Sure.
All right, fellas, what do we got going on here? Well, you know, Drake, technically Jesus was born around april, so we need to get rid of this winter foliage.
Oh, and, Finn, the word manger actually refers to the wooden feeding trough that the animals used, so let's put baby Jesus in this little shot glass.
Perfect.
Well, you know, based on how far they had to travel, all the experts agree that the wise men didn't really get there until Jesus was two, so let's get rid of them.
Uh, uh, Carlton.
Remember, this is for the children.
Right.
Let's do one with Santa in it.
Hand me Kris Kringle there, guys.
That's a great idea! You know, interestingly enough, the dutch version of Santa used slaves to deliver the toys.
We're here to give our official statements for the Fuller case.
Yes.
About that.
Um, our investigation has confirmed Mr.
Spencer's hunches.
Ah, really? - It was murder.
- That's 27 and counting.
Do you folks mind coming on in for a moment? Just have a seat.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Chair's right over there.
I thought we could, uh, have more privacy this way.
Why? What, is there a problem? Well, this report says that there were traces of weed killer found in Mr.
Fuller's system.
Poison.
I sensed that as well.
There's just one slight problem, we found a box of the same type of weed killer on Mr.
Guster's property.
Can you explain that? Whoa, whoa, now.
Slow your roll.
I can explain that.
Me and Fuller had a long-time feud about the property line.
And every now and then I'd poison his shrubs because he refused to cut them back.
Bill, that's not like you.
How about this? Blunt force trauma to the head of the deceased was done caused by a bloody hammer found nearby with prints belonging to a Mr.
William Guster.
Yeah, but if you'd looked a little closer, you would have found a hacksaw and a pickaxe with my prints on them too.
Fuller had been taking my tools for years.
That's another reason we'd been feuding.
Another perfectly reasonable explanation.
Just one more thing, the rope to hang Mr.
Fuller matches rope - used from a boat belonging to - Lemme guess.
Me.
Dad, you're crazy.
Mr.
G.
Wait.
You mean it really was mine? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Look, I just said that to be funny.
I have no idea how it got there.
I am sorry, Mr.
Guster, the evidence is strong enough.
- You have the right to remain silent.
- What? You give up that right, anything you say you can't arrest me! - And will be used against you in a court of law.
- I'm a deacon in a church! - You have a right to an attorney.
- What is the Lord gonna say? It's very nice of you to invite us over.
Oh, Winnie, it's the least I could do.
- Now when is Bill gonna be released from custody? - Soon I hope.
A thing like this could be devastating to somebody with delicate health, a weak disposition.
We're gonna get dad out before anything can happen to him.
I was talking about you.
Your father's strong as an ox, but you, lord knows you have enough stress to deal with as it is.
Mrs.
G.
, you have my word, everything will be fine.
- We're gonna take this case.
- Yeah.
Shawn, maybe we oughta get some food together here.
- Maybe you oughta pass on this one.
- I can't, dad.
I owe it to them.
Look, the Gusters are nice people, okay? They invite you over for dinner at So what? The point is, as a rule, you never wanna get involved in a case where personal relationships are involved.
- Dad, I think I can handle it.
- What if Gus's dad is guilty? Are you out of your mind? How could you even say that? That's what I mean.
Right there, Shawn.
You've already made your decision irrespective of the facts.
You have already compromised this case.
Compromised? Why? Because I'm not afraid of my own emotional attachment? I'll have you know that I view that as a tool in my problem-solving, not a liability.
It is that exact kind of lame-ass thinking I can see why you were never a detective.
And I can see why you ended up a divorced detective.
My god.
We went almost three hours without having an argument.
It's our best holiday in years, huh? Uh, I was just arresting someone in the neighborhood.
I thought I'd drop by and say hi.
Oh, you know, we just sat down to lunch, so Sorry.
Hey, guys.
Look what I've got.
A Wii! Awesome! Wow, that's actually very thoughtful.
Thank you.
It turned up in a sweep.
I mean, they're welcome to use it, but technically it belongs to the DA's office.
Come on! Let's play boxing! You're not busy? No, no.
Go right ahead.
Oh, oh, drake, you're too slow, my friend! You better change your name to Lassiter because I own you! Oh, he's down on the ground! - What a lame-o.
- Come on.
Who's next? Who's next? Come on! Let's go! Somebody come get some! Who's next? Get some! Come on! You guys sure you don't wanna take a sandwich or anything for the road? You hardly ate any of your food.
Ooh, I remember once when we were little you made us - these chicken cordon bleus.
- Shawn.
- But the ham was so thin - Shawn! We don't have an appetite.
All we can think about is clearing dad's name and getting him out of jail.
I'll give you a call as soon as we have any leads.
Dad.
No, it is not an engraved set of rubber bullets.
Why would I possibly give you another excuse to shoot a gun? Well, you better keep thinking.
Shawn, I don't have to tell you how important this case is.
So whatever you need, just let me know.
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
What? What is it? Give me a second.
Is it a clue that clears my dad? Can you shush for one second? I know you think this is easy for me, but I do go through a mental process.
Like A equals B.
B equals C Which means a equals Would you stop it? That's too close! Now I gotta start all over.
Damn it, Shawn, what's taking so long? Okay! All right! We need to figure out if there was a homeowner's association.
Ah, Mr.
Mitchell.
- Yes.
- My name is Shawn Spencer.
I'm not interested in any fake vacation packages.
I'm not giving you my social security number so I can claim the grand prize, and I'm not paying for any damn subscriptions for magazines that I know I'll never see.
I'm the head psychic for the Santa Barbara police department.
Well, come on in then.
We're investigating the death of Mr.
Fuller.
And I am sensing some unresolved conflict between the two of you.
Something something to do with rules and violations.
Yes, it's true.
Fuller became a constant thorn in my side ever since I started the homeowner's association.
He refused to follow the ordinances.
When I'd give him citations, he'd tear them up and throw them in the trash.
So I'd give him another citation.
It was a constant, vicious cycle.
It's him.
He did it.
Bust him, Shawn.
See it, see it.
See it.
Stop it.
Sounds like you wanted him out of the way.
No, no, not at all.
He was a pain, but he was our best supporter.
Our? The Mitchell family.
We founded this neighborhood 100 years ago.
Now we're lobbying the city to have them declare it a historical district.
Fuller refused to sell his house after all these years.
We were the only friends he had.
Hello.
Oh, hi, honey.
This is Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster.
I remember the two of you from when you were no more than yea high.
You had the cutest little lawn-mowing business.
Oh, wow, that's right.
We did.
In fact I think we paid you $5.
00 for a job that never got done.
Oh! This guy.
You know, the yard tools are out back.
I'll go get them.
She's, uh She's not serious, is she? She is.
Oh, and make sure to water the gardenias.
I've had them longer than you've been alive.
This is ridiculous.
She should've just accepted the $5.
00 refund offer.
We need to be solving my dad's case.
Dude.
There's somebody in old man Fuller's house.
I can't believe we're gonna bail on the mitchells' yard again.
Come on! Who are you, and what are you doing here? I should ask you the same thing.
My name's Shawn.
This is my partner, Skooney "u-turn" Singleton.
We're from dirty boy landscaping.
I got a call from your office, said you needed some estimates on some renovations.
You guys are fast.
I just left word at the office saying I needed a landscape architect.
You know, I cold-called this geezer for years pushing him to sell, and he always refused.
Finally it's available.
Really? What's so special about this place? It's the only lot in the neighborhood with 360-degree unobstructed views.
It'll sell for a fortune.
Don't worry, this yard will be immaculate when we're done.
- Bye-bye.
- Be in touch.
You hear her, Shawn? She's been cold-calling for years.
And she stands to make a fortune on this place.
That's motive.
Right? Yeah, yeah.
It's gotta be her.
What more do we need? Let's get the cops on it right away.
I, I guess it wouldn't, uh, hurt to have them do a cursory background check.
Maybe, maybe look.
Look at the phone records.
- Right.
- Okay.
I'll do everything in my power to make this process as painless as possible.
Jules.
Jules, over here! It's about time.
Did you check the phone records? Yep, your tip paid off.
That's great.
Thank goodness.
There were all these vibes, but I wasn't sure.
So it was Rosa.
- Who? - The real estate agent.
No, no.
She has a solid alibi.
But we discovered quite a few calls from someone else, who also made numerous cash transfers into Fuller's account.
Possibly paying off a blackmail.
Wait a second, if you're not about to arrest Rosa, what are you doing standing here? Distracting you.
Distracting.
Sorry, Gus.
Shawn! Shawn! - No, no, no, Mr.
Guster! - Mr.
Guster.
Burton, Burton, please.
Don't make a scene, darling.
The neighbors, neighbors are watching us.
What is this? Get in the car, ma'am.
Please.
- Watch your head.
- Don't! Don't you touch my hair! We got here as fast as we could.
This is our worst nightmare.
It seems like everything is conspiring against us.
So we lawyered up.
That's how they say it in the bucket, son, Where I did an eight-hour bid.
I don't know those words.
I'm not gonna do well in prison.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
You'll be fine.
She not gonna make it.
I told you, nobody's going to prison.
Mrs.
G, why didn't you tell anybody that old man Fuller was blackmailing you for all these years? I wanted to, believe me, I did, but I couldn't.
You see, this all started when Bill's sailboat caught fire.
I tried to muster up the courage to tell everybody that it was my fault.
But before I could, the insurance company had paid everything off already.
Well, somehow, Fuller knew the truth of what had happened.
He threatened to turn me in for insurance fraud if I didn't pay him every month.
Well, he was so old, I figured paying him off for the rest of his life was the cheapest route.
To the police it looks like motive.
I know.
But don't worry, son.
We have called Nana.
She's to look after you in case anything should happen to the two of us.
Mom, I don't need my grandmother, who lives in a nursing home to look after me.
We hear you, son.
We hear you.
Anyway, it's just until we can raise the money to post your mother's bail and pay our legal bills.
Whatever the cost is, I'll cover it.
- Don't worry about it.
- We appreciate the gesture, Burton.
But, son, we're talking real money.
You have a savings account in a penny jar.
I have a 401, a diversified asset-allocated portfolio full of securities and equity to tap into.
He's always been so good with the big words.
How much do you think we can get for the cutlass? Stop it! I can't take anymore! All of my life it's been Gus can't handle this! Protect Gus from that! Well, guess what? I'm the most responsible, well-prepared, non-criminal-record-having adult in this room.
And it's high time you two stopped babying me.
I'm And by the way, I know you've only been married for 28 years.
I did the math a long time ago.
So stop protecting me from that.
Starting now, I'm gonna take care of you.
I'm gonna give you money.
And we're gonna solve this case.
Shawn may not have always been the best influence on me, but he's always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself.
And right now, I believe in him.
We hear ya, son.
All right, dude.
You had your moment, man.
You nailed it.
Now go ahead and make a timely exit.
Come on, man.
Before you gotta make another speech.
Your mom being arrested might be Christmas miracle we need for the case.
How so? I suspect she wasn't the only one in the neighborhood that old man Fuller was blackmailing.
We gotta get back in his house.
Let's hurry up.
This place gives me the creeps.
Bingo! This must be how old man Fuller saw your mom burn your dad's boat.
Dude, there's something in there.
What do you think it is? Will you stop it, Shawn? You know how that story gives me the creeps.
Norman! Norman! Norman! Okay, stop it, that's enough! That's enough! - Game over.
- Fine.
Don't play, Shawn.
Just as I thought.
He was snooping on the entire neighborhood from up here.
These are his blackmail pictures.
Suburban pot farm.
Bootleg DVD ring.
None of these are really cause for murder.
Covering an illicit affair.
Now that's what I call motive.
What? You see anything? Hurry up.
I know where our culprit lives.
Hey.
Got some questions for you about some illicit pictures.
But we already know where you live! We call that "Sammy Floyd's tree house ambush.
" Okay, okay.
Okay.
You got me.
I'll give you your pictures back.
We have pictures of you, Dude.
The ones old man Fuller was blackmailing you for.
- What pictures are you talking about? - I work at a one-hour photo.
I thought you were asking about the pictures of hot, naked chicks I sometimes keep.
Wait a minute.
This isn't you? No.
But it kinda looks like my dad.
From about 30 years ago when we first moved here.
Man, it was an old picture mixed in with the new ones.
We couldn't tell the difference because they're all black and white.
So we're looking for his dad? - Yes.
- He passed away a few years ago.
No.
Who's this woman in the photo? It's not my mom.
That's for sure.
- She died before we moved here.
- Who the hell is she? You know, don't really feel comfortable talking about my family secrets, all right? What's the name of that one-hour photo where you hide your filthy debauchery? I remember my dad had a female friend who would visit only at night.
- What was her name? - I don't remember.
- Do you know she lives? - No.
Can you tell us anything? I just swung from a tree.
When she left the house would smell like, white linenperfume.
I remember it because it was the same perfume my mom used to wear when she was alive.
- So our culprit is a woman? - Apparently.
Who looked like that 30 years ago.
She's hot.
What? You have problems.
You know, I was thinking.
If, you guys have an extra seat at that table for Christmas dinner, I might be available.
Carlton, I haven't been completely honest with you.
- You see, family - Say no more.
Don't worry.
I won't come around anymore.
I am so sorry, Carlton.
Don't be.
I mean it's.
It's totally natural for you to be jealous if your nephews like me more than you.
- Come again? - I get it.
You're used to being the cool aunt that everyone wants to hang out with.
But when I'm around, you just can't compete with that.
Sometimes I just.
I forget to dial down my coolness when I'm around kids.
They're just so impressionable.
You are so right.
I can't compete with that.
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
All right, I'm sure your nephews still think you're really fly.
Merry Christmas, Carlton.
Great news.
We're following a new lead on the case.
That's great because I just got my notice to appear in court just in time for Christmas.
Look at this.
An announcement for old man Fuller's estate sale.
Making people buy back stuff that was probably already theirs in the first place.
I don't know what they put in this stuff, But the jerk chicken from Kingstons has always been the best.
Let me see.
Well, they got the right ratio of black pepper, scotch bonnet, and thyme.
Hey, son.
Whoo.
I ain't mad at that.
But they should have used a quarter less pimento.
Mom.
Minced nutmeg instead of ground.
My god.
Gus, you came by the super smeller honest.
She also smelled like, white linenperfume.
Dude! Can the super smeller pick out a scent from memory? Well, the olfactory and memory areas of the cerebral cortex share the same neural pathways.
- What is that? Is that a yes? - Yes.
Sweet! I think I know how to solve the case! Come on! We'll be back.
Jules, I'm getting a major psychic disturbance down at old man Fuller's estate sale.
You might wanna get down here.
Okay.
Hurry.
Check it out.
If our culprit's here, she's gonna wanna get a hold of those photos.
- Right.
- If she's like most old ladies, she probably thinks you were on the Jeffersons, and she wears the same perfume from her youth.
All you gotta do is identify who's wearingwhite linen.
- I'll take care of the rest.
- Got it.
- You ready? - Yep.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the next item up for bidding - Is this one-of-a-kind.
- Excuse me.
Antiqued confederate civil war battle flag.
Who will open the bidding at $100? May I have $100? Thank you.
I have $100 to open the bidding.
How about $200? Can I hear $200? $200.
Thank you.
$200.
Xan I hear $300? $300? Anyone.
Thank you, sir, $300.
Do I hear $400? Who will say $400? Do I hear $400? Who will go $400? Thank you.
I have $400.
Do I have $500? $500? $500, who will.
Thank you.
I have $500.
Come on.
Any luck? No old lady in here is wearingwhite linen.
- Sweet.
That's our only lead.
- Sold! To the man in the blue argyle sweater for $500.
This antique confederate battle flag.
Thank you for bidding, sir.
Enjoy your flag.
Here you go.
You can totally get a gun rack for your truck now.
Next item up for bidding is this box of heirlooms.
Antique photographs.
Dude, I don't know what to do.
$100 to open.
You better do something.
- I supposed to smell everyone? - Thank you.
I have $100.
Who will go $200? Make sure to water the gardenias.
I've had them longer than you've been alive.
Identify the base component of that fragrance.
Gardenia.
Are you absolutely certain? Tahitian gardenia.
- Thank you.
Now give me a push.
- What? - Give me a little push.
- Not pushing you just give me a little.
Get that ball off my grass, Guster! Get out of my yard! If you kids don't keep it quiet out there, I'm gonna call the cops! He's channeling old man Fuller's grumpy drunken spirit.
What's that? What's that, you miserable old geezer? The cops have the wrong suspects.
Well, then who's the killer? Gladys Mitchell? You used to deliver flowers To the nice little widower who moved in down the street.
One thing led to another.
The next thing you knew, you were locked in a torrid, illicit affair.
Dirty, sweaty, an affair that if it got to the public would not only ruin your marriage, but soil the good name of the neighborhood's founding family.
Old man Fuller knew your secret! He could see everything from his snooping perch.
In exchange for his silence, you had to cater to all of his needs for the better part of 30 years.
But oh, that bastard just wouldn't die, would he? No, it was as if his meanness was keeping him alive.
And then your worst nightmare became a reality.
He started going senile.
You couldn't risk him telling somebody about the affair, so you took matters into your own hands, and you killed the son of a bitch! That's absurd.
I couldn't possibly hang a grown man from up there.
I can see it.
You tried to poison him! But he spit it out.
Then you panicked.
You grabbed a hammer.
You tried to bash in his skull! But no, he just wouldn't die! His little feet twitching this way and that! And then a really desperate move.
You grabbed the disoriented Fuller! You pushed him over to the base of the stairs.
You found yourself a nice piece of rope.
You tied one end around his Neck! You draped the otherend over the bannister and you tied it to the Chair lift.
And then you used that Chair lift to pull old man Fuller all the way up and over the bannister at this ridiculous, agonizing pace.
And that is how you killed that ancient, pruney relic.
I'm so sorry, Honey.
I just couldn't let him ruin everything that we worked so hard to build.
Guster, you can tell your parents we're gonna drop the charges.
Good work, Shawn.
You've already had your moment.
All right, let's light this puppy up.
Well, Shawn, it looks like another draw this year? Yes.
It appears so.
Look at that.
Little Psych golf balls.
I also signed you up for lessons with the golf pro down at the Santa Barbara municipal course.
That's sweet, dad.
Thank you.
All right, your turn.
All right.
I have no idea what this is.
What do we got here? "Dear dad, you got me monogrammed psych golf balls and golf lessons with the pro down at the municipal course.
" Turn it, turn it, turn it.
I believe his name is Pierre.
I got you, old man! That's it, Shawn, you know, this is the last year we're gonna play this stupid little game.
Somebody doesn't like to lose.
Because you're an old grinch during christmastime.
- The name is Ebenezer Grinch man.
- Stop.
Stop! Grinch of the Cruise Scrooge grinchies.
Shawn.
Here you go.
Here's your real gift.
What? - Wait, what's it gonna do? - Just give her a rip.
So what's there? What's in there? Look at that.
That's me fishing.
In the snow.
It's snowing.
That's really nice, Shawn.
That's great.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you for a lovely dinner.
I think we should be going now.
Yes.
Thank you.
It was my pleasure.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
I got a perfect place for this.
You all should get some rest.
You've been through a lot.
Finally things can get back to the way they were.
Well, almost.
I've been thinking, maybe we could use some advice about that diversification stuff.
Seem like you're doing pretty good for yourself.
And making some good business decisions.
Sure! No problem.
Let me go get the car.
Mr.
Spencer.
Shawn.
Now, you look after Burton for us.
Are you sure this is enough? I mean, this is Gus we're talking about, right? Don't worry, Mr.
G, I got it covered.
Merry Christmas, Shawn.
Merry Christmas to you all.
Bye, Guys! All right, all right, all right.
How did you do it? Come on.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't