Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Dis-Lodged

Hey.
What the hell is going on here? Nothing.
My mistake.
Sorry, guys.
That's okay.
See you later, dad.
Okay, Shawn out with it.
We're starting a secret club.
The "burn down the House" club? The Gus and Shawn club.
It's actually the Shawn and Gus club.
You know, a club needs regulations, by laws.
You guys got any rules? Yes, no girls.
And everybody has to be under 12.
No old guys.
And they have to have a love of correct grammar.
That's not a rule! You said we could have one special rule, that's mine.
And that's the best rule you could think of? I think you mean that's the best rule of which you could think.
I'm not being in a club with this.
Fine, I don't need you and your mis placed prepositions.
Wanna be in a club? Dude, I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders.
One phone call, and my mountain man trip with my dad is off.
Why'd he back out? He was sick.
He sounded horrible.
He was lurching, he was coughing.
He even sounded pale.
- How do you sound pale? - I don't know.
Maybe he didn't sound pale, but he definitely sounded feverish.
Maybe he's driving himself to the hospital.
You know what this means.
What we gotta go.
There's no time to discuss.
Oh, Gus - Pay.
- Shawn.
I still don't see why you're so up tight.
thrilled your dad bailed on you.
That's when I thought he was dying.
Dude, do you realize where we are right now? That's the Monarch Lodge.
Your dad's a member? Are you kidding me? We're going in.
Shawn.
You can't just walk into the Monarch Lodge.
They're a clandestine society.
They have a secret Handshake.
Fold it, fold it, skim it.
Crouching Tiger, Zookeeper's boy, hairdresser on fire, girlfriend in a coma.
Slap it on a biscuit.
You might not want to do that.
Dr Guster just insemin a Ted an appaloosa.
- All the way up to the elbow.
- No time to wash up.
Thank you.
You're a good man.
I've always wanted to see the inside of this place.
Oscar Landon Clark.
He started the Santa Barbara mirror.
Dude Moby's a Monarch.
That's not Moby, Shawn.
Martin A.
Turner.
The city's first post master.
Can you believe this? I'm Pretty sure that's Chuck from the wonder years.
Dude.
Oh, my god.
- That is really disturbing.
- Jeez, what are you doing? Come on, Ted, dragging me all the way over here for this! Dad, you owe me an explanation What the hell are you into? You need to call the police.
We did.
A Policeman and a brother.
Ted, I'm retired from both.
SBPD.
Here, I'll dial for you.
Let's go.
This is unbelievable.
Practically every doctor in the city is a member here.
- Do you realize what this means? - Yes, it means my dad, Mr.
Integrity, is nothing more than a lying liar from Liarsburg.
That's Dr Downs.
He has a Huge practice on the Mesa, and he just dumped his rep.
I've been trying to get in there for years.
I'll be right back.
Don't step on the corpse head.
How'd you get in here? I think I should ask you the same thing.
Sick faker! Let me feel your fore head.
What are you doing, following me around? I don't have time for this, Shawn.
Take a look, there's a dead body in the room.
Yes, Mr Arthur Holmstrom.
He was murdered.
Three creams, four sugars.
- Thank you.
- And here's this.
- What's this? - Yours didn't cost anything.
Dropped my name? No, coffee club.
Buy 15 coffees, you get one free.
You should get one.
Gee, I don't know.
I mean, what am I gonna do witch over the cash.
- let me give you a little lesson, O'Hara.
- We have 1144.
Deceased male, 1385 Granada place.
Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara en route.
You know that's littering.
- Back up, what do you mean "murdered"? - Maybe poisoned.
I'm not sure yet.
Shawn, this is not the place for one of your reckless assumptions.
Dad, take a look around.
These guys Hardly seem broken up by this.
I've known Arthur Holmstrom since the day he joined this Lodge.
He was not the most likable guy.
Fine.
Whatever.
I have more important issues to deal with.
I want the truth.
What really happened to my cat, Chairman meow? - You want answers? - I want the truth.
You can't handle the truth! You drive mea little crazy, Shawn.
The idea of spendingan entire weekend with you.
- I drive you crazy? - Yeah.
And your cat? Got a little too familiar with the armrest of my sofa.
There.
Henry, I am really sorry for pulling you in on such short notice.
It's just we were allreally nervous about this.
I mean, what if we did something wrong? He had that hood on for 20 minutes.
- What if he suffocated? - Ted, calm down.
It's a cloth hood.
You've performed this ceremony, what, a dozen times? I know, I know.
It's just that we want to make sure it's handled right.
You talked to the police, right? Yes, yes.
Thank you, thank you.
Say, is this your son? You know how we love a legacy around here.
No, no, no.
No, yes, he is my son, technically, but I Ted, I'm getting.
No, no, you don't.
Not here, Shawn.
This is not the time for your she Nanigans.
It was a Single she Nanigan.
Technically more of a Hijink.
Pet killer! I'm not a Pet killer, Shawn.
Chairman Meow is living very happily in a retirement homein Ojai.
And I don't want to burst your bubble, but Chairman Meowis Chairwoman Meow.
Spencer.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What the hell are you doing here? Lassie, as it happens, my father is a member here.
That's impossible.
Benevolent lodge rule AB-4567 bars any law enforcement member from being a member.
Yeah, and that rule is bogus.
We made that up to keep out undesirables.
"Undesirables"? People who aren't Lodge material.
Or anyone who's been married to my daughter.
And you are? This is Irving Parker.
He's my father in law.
Excuse me.
Soon to be former father-in-law.
Not so fast.
Victoria and I have had several civil conversations lately.
Give it up, Carlton! It was a lost cause two years ago, and it's a lost cause now.
Get over it.
She has.
Move on! I think we'll all be better off for it.
Can I talk to you for a second? Are you sure you want to be on this case? You have a personal involvement here.
That's right, O'Hara, this is personal.
And if it does turn out to be something, that's exactly why I need to be on it.
But these people have something against you.
- They won't anymore after I solve it.
- Carlton look, you don't understand, O'Hara.
I need to be the hero.
I need to solve this case quickly, and look brilliant in the process, and you need to help me do that.
Please.
It's been a pleasure talking with you, dr.
Downs.
Well, you make quite an impression, mr.
Guster.
And under the circumstances, that's saying something.
Well, thank you very much.
And once again, I want to express my sincere condolences.
Perhaps you could give my office a call, and we could set a side some time.
How about monday? Terrific.
Great.
We're done here.
Gus.
Thanks.
And another thing, dad.
Just when, exactly, were you a member here? It was a long time ago, Shawn.
I'm not a part of this place anymore.
And whe ther or not this was murder, you are here by ordered to steer clear.
These guys are not to be messed with.
I cannot possibly be more serious about this.
Tuesday at 11:00 is perfect.
I'll be there with bells on.
Okay.
Dude, who says that? Closers.
Closers say that.
Well, if by closers you mean middle-aged women, then, yes, I do believeI've heard the phrase.
Are you for getting that we many have stumbled up on a murder today? A murder that you're taking entirely too unseriously? The man's name was Arthur Holmstrom, and he died during the sacred star ceremony.
Get over here, look at this.
It's weird.
Weird? Those guys look down right evil.
White men in hoods? - Dude, they're violet.
- That's how it starts, Shawn.
Do you see that? Holy crap, Shawn.
Your dad was right.
It's one of those scary Lodge guys.
They're here for us.
They know you think they killed that guy.
Lassie.
What are you doing here? I think you know why I'm here.
Hope fully you're here to help.
Gus and I were about to do some scrap booking.
We'll need someone who can work the scalloped scissors.
Spencer, I get why you have to act like an ass at my station, but do you have to act like this in your own office? It enhances my perception.
How else would I know that you came here because you think Arthur Holmstrom was murdered? No one's talking down at the lodge.
I was just driving by the office and saw the lights on.
You want to hire us.
Come on, Lassie, it's not that tough.
Let it go.
- Lass, come on.
- Look around, you're in a safe place.
Surrounded by men who love you.
Gus.
Lassiter, I love you.
Look you have a connection in there.
So I need you to feel around and see what you can find out.
The department's hiring us? Not the department, me.
And I can't pay you.
Well, that sounds worth while.
I guess this would technically be called a favor.
Maybe I could pay your expenses.
Done! When we're finished, we all go for a picnic.
This is a discreet investigation.
I'd like to show you something.
See this? It's the Lodge radar.
And look at this.
It's me flying under neath it.
Now look down here.
It's gus.
He can't fly.
It is imperative that you keep a low profile.
Place the Robeon our new brother.
That's it? I'm official? No brimstone? I don't have to crab walk or get tickled with a feather? Come on, somebody, tickle me with a feather, you.
Gentlemen, to the bar.
Yes.
Save me a shot.
Don't you think it's odd that it's just businessas usual when someone died here the other day? Definitely.
It appears as though he's been all but forgotten.
Look.
Holmstrom's already been moved.
Those paintings are in order of rank.
Once the high most Patriarch moves on, he's replaced by the next guy in line.
- That's Irving Parker.
- Right.
Holmstrom was fifth in line.
Some how he leap frogged three other guys, in Cluding Parker and two of your Doctor Buddies.
grand for "clothing for kids"? These guys are ultra-philanthropists.
They're the most charitable organization in the city.
Why would they commit murder? Well, maybe it was for the kids.
"The shroud of Charlemagne".
Dude, Holmstrom was wearing this hood the day he died.
Check it out, it's 100 years old.
Like a lot of the guys around this place.
Sorry.
- What? - Nothing.
Thank you.
Shawn.
You know my newest clients, Dr.
Masood Nigam, and Dr.
Roger Downs.
Yes, yes, I do.
Congratulation son your client ship.
Just, you're in good hands with gus.
Nimble, agile hands.
Surgeon's hands, really.
He once removed a boil from his own thigh using a paper clip and a warm can of sprite.
Dude, when did you have time to make all these sales? We were in there for an hour.
An hour is all you need, Shawn, when you've got sales reptitude.
Dr.
Mccormerly, can I talk to you for a second? You're calling me a day after our first date? You really are out of practice.
So what'd you find out? Well, it appears our victim made top dog with very little effort.
One day he was fifth in line for the job, the next day he was high most Patriarch.
And the next day he was dead.
Does anyone suspect you? No.
Members are beyond suspicion.
Members? Sweet justice! They made you a member? Now, don't get all mad, Lassie.
There was a 15-minute waiting period.
I finally learned the lyrics to informer while they convened and agreed on me.
Let me give you my card, dr.
Mccormerly, 'cause you do not want to miss out on this baby.
Are you staking me out? No.
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
I can sense you're right around the corner.
Whoa, you're breaking up.
Can you call me back, Lassie? I don't have time for this.
I've got another call.
O'Hara, finally.
Where are you? I'm at lunch.
Get me a Turkey and Avocado.
- Let me talk to her.
- Hands off! - Is someone there with you? - Hi, Jules.
- Spencer.
- You're having lunch with Shawn? - Maybe.
- Is something going on? Look, do you have the toxicology reports on Holmstrom or not? Yeah, but they're inconclusive.
Well, - actually, they're just strange.
- Strange how? Oh, come on.
Well, it doesn't look like natural causes, and his blood had trace elements of I don't even want to say.
Come on, O'Hara.
Well, it had what looks like the toxin similar to the Venom of a Brazilian vine snake.
You've gotta be kidding me.
- He got bit by a snake? - Am I on speaker phone? No.
- Well, then, how did he hear.
- Jules, how bout you just tell us? He didn't have a Mark on him.
There weren't any puncture wounds.
The only thing he had was a little skin irritation on his face.
Obviously these results are inconclusive, so run the tests again because we need results that aren't ridiculous.
I don't know, Lassie, I kind a like this snake idea.
Why are you sharing information with Shawn on a case we haven't hired him for? You know what, O'Hara, You, breaking.
I call you back.
Nice.
You Joined the Lodge? What can I do, dad? I'm a legacy.
It's in our blood.
Damn it, Shawn, I'm not kidding.
You've gott are consider this.
You get a lot of powerful people in to one room, and dangerous things happen.
Would you please let the Police just do their job? - I am working for the Police.
- Sort of.
It's a discreet investigation.
- Yeah discreet, that's one of your talents.
- I'm working on a theory.
Arthur Holmstrom was poisoned with snake venom.
- Snake Venom.
- The Brazilian vine Snake.
Specific to remote river basins in nor thern Brazil.
About two to three feet in length.
So someone snuck a three-foot snake in to the Lodge and killed him during the ceremony? - The perfect crime.
- Right.
Except there were no marks left on the body.
So we're looking for an invisible snake.
You know, Shawn, that's it.
Right- right there.
That is your problem.
Maybe you'd be better off looking for something that you can see.
There is a pecking, order, right in front of your eyes.
Dad, you're gonna ruin my diagram! Yep, who's at the top? Who's the next guy in line? I know where the top is, you could have just pointed.
Now there's coke all over everything.
Forget it.
Just grow up.
Me grow up.
A grown man makes a crawly snake.
This is Parker's place.
I can see the sign, Shawn.
Well, I bet they're very busy inside.
Might I suggest coming back this evening and breaking in? Good idea.
Let me see what I'm doing for the next three to five years, with time off or good behavior.
We're here now.
I can get us in.
All of a sudden you can just "get us in"? Shawn, I'm totally in a sales zone this week.
You leave this secret hand shake to me.
I'm not showing an appointment, mister Guster.
Burton Guster.
And this is my associate William Zane.
I'm an old friend, and I'm just paying Mr.
Parker a birthday visit.
It's not his birthday.
I know, it's mine.
We're here on Lodge business.
That's a three right there.
What? Nothing better to do on your birthday? Well, it's my 29th, not one of the important ones.
You'll understand when you get to be my age.
- I'll only be a minute.
- I'll just let him know that you're here.
No, no need, Doris.
It's my birthday.
Surprise! You still need a seven right there.
Billy? It's your birthday? That's your sales reptitude? - It comes in all flavors, Shawn.
- Is suck a flavor? Dude! The world's very first crock-pot.
What the hell are you guys doing here? Mr.
Parker, it's me, Shawn Spencer.
- I'm the newest monarch, remember? - Yeah, I remember.
So what the hell are you guys doing wandering around my warehouse? This is my very good friend Gus.
He's looking to join the monarch Lodge too.
I thought maybe you could make that happen.
You know, haze him a little bit.
Soak his hand in warm water while he's sleeping, that sort of thing.
- Do you have any sheep here? - This is not a Lodge.
This is my place of business.
And the fact that you slid into member ship on the coat tails of your turn coat dad, that doesn't guarantee any favors from me.
Now I'm through talking to you nicely.
I want you to turn around and get the hell out of here.
Right now! - I'm surprised he didn't say "good day".
- What's that? I said good day.
Dude, did you see those shipping crates? "CCI", "AIF", "XAP".
Those are airport codes, all brazilian.
Brazilian airport codes? How do you know that? - I lived in an airport for a month, Gus.
- That was Tom Hanks in the terminal.
Same difference.
We need to talk to Lassiter.
No, you need to talk to Lassiter.
I'll drop you off.
- Where are you going? - I have appointments with four new clients.
And product doesn't sell itself.
Man Lassie.
Anything? Well, I've got good news, and I've got bad news.
The good news is we found a pretty solid suspect on the Holmstrom murder.
Finally.
Well, who is it? Let's go get him.
- That's the bad news.
- That is ridiculous! Who's in charge here, huh? I'll tell you this, I better be home for dinner! Heads are gonna roll, that's all I got to say! Heads are gonna roll! Oh, no.
Do not go down that road.
Look, I'm not happy about this either, Lassie.
Now that I've joined the Lodge, that makes your father-in-lawmy brother.
Which makes me your uncle in-law.
It's gonna get especially awkward around the holidays.
Spencer, you can't seriously suspect Parker.
Unfortunately, it sort of checks out.
If it was Venom that killed Holmstrom, it came from a snake that only slithers in a region where Parker does half his business.
He's in room "A.
"Who's going to question him? I will.
Carlton, do you really think this is a good idea? You're related.
- It's against department policy.
- O'Hara, quiet.
I'm gonna handle it.
Don't you dare tell the chief.
I can't believe this is happening.
Lassiter's desk.
It's your wife.
I mean your ex-wife.
Hey! Yeah, well, it seems that Irving is kind of a, well, he's a murder suspect.
Yes.
No, this is not because I want the barbecue.
I already gave you the golf clubs.
- So how'd he go? - Not quietly.
You ever meet his wife? No, and if she's anything like her dad, I don't want to.
Okey Doke.
That seems fair.
O'Hara, please go down to the room.
I'll be down in a minute.
Spencer, I want you to listen to me, and listen closely.
I know Irving Parker very well, and he wouldn't kill anyone.
Sure, he might hobble their spirit and crush their soul and dance in the flaming ashes of their broken marriage, which he had a part in ending.
But he wouldn't kill anyone.
Look he's the only suspect we have.
He tried to hate me to death.
I know it's circumstantial, but in a pretty bad way.
I know, and I'm going to go treat him just as I would any other suspect.
But I think Holmstrom's murderer is still out there.
Just just workshop it.
Do what ever it is you do, because at the end of the day, it absolutely cannot be him.
"Workshop it"? Four, five, six, seven, eight.
I don't know if reverse engineering the case was such a good idea.
"Did its" won 12-zip.
But Lassiter said he was sure that Parker's not our guy.
Well, the board seems to disagree vehemently.
Fine, then let's move away from him, and check out the other Lodge members.
- What do we know about Holmstrom? - Holmstrom.
We know he's dead.
That's a good start.
I'm serious, Shawn.
I was in that lodge making contacts.
I know.
You have sales reptitude.
Now can we please retire that expression? Throw it a party, put it on medicare, it's just not working anymore.
No, Shawn, what I'm saying is those other Lodge members were hardly over whelmed with grief.
Even as Holmstrom lay on the floor, I was shamelessly moving my product, and no one see med to think anything of it.
- I'd say Holmstrom had some enemies.
- Well, we gotta figure out who they are.
And how do we do that? There's something much more important we have to do first.
Tobias, I've heard the canvas adds ten pounds.
Is that accurate? Maybe you could paint some Angry Tigers or a Puma laying prostrateat my feet.
This is a portrait of your head.
I thought we were here to find something about Holmstrom.
We are.
This is for posterity.
- Don't worry, you're next.
- He doesn't get one.
He's not a member yet.
Maybe we could paint him in the background of mine.
Put his head in the Puma's mouth.
You're going to ignore that.
Hey, why did they take Arthur Holmstrom's painting down so quickly? All of his things were taken over to his house.
Do it lightly.
Say what you will about credit cards and paper clips, sometimes a door just needs to be owned.
- That's a screwdriver, Shawn.
- Screwdrivers too.
I think it was unlocked.
- It was not unlocked.
- I think it was.
The door was most definitely not unlocked.
Gus, the man was a widower, nobody's here.
Why don't you let me use my new contacts to get the information? Is that how we do things, Gus, really? Why talk to someone about Holmstrom when we could have his home office tell us everything we need to know? His hopes, his dreams - his love for the ladies.
- I think that's his wife.
People lie, stuff doesn't.
- Did you lock the front door? - Yes, I locked the door.
I don't think it was locked.
I know I lock You see that? They had to break a window.
Burn! No.
I just tried that.
Well, I did it in a different spot, Shawn! He's coming, he's coming, coming, coming! Watch out! People breaking into offices no one respects anything anymore.
My god, did you see who that was? It's hard to see anything with someone's knee in your eye.
It's your own knee.
Get out of here! Look at this place.
Whoever was here wasn't invited either.
A secret safe.
- Dude, you gotta get us in there.
- I can't get us in that safe, Shawn.
That's a Martin 16.
You're 36 months into a subscription to modern safecracker magazine what's the point? I'm an amateur, Shawn.
- Well, it's timet o go pro, fingers.
- Fingers? Twist it up.
Watch out.
Would you stop it! Now I've gotta start all over.
This month would be good.
- It's not happening, Shawn.
- Try 36-24-36.
- Are you serious? - Just click it in gentle.
That was a good idea.
Now what? I really thought I nailed that.
Shawn, you've really gotta work on your estimating skills.
Dude.
You're a safecracking machine! - I know.
- Grab that.
All right, I've got $25,000 for komputers for kids.
This one says 35,000.
One of these books is a fraud.
Dude, Holmstrom was skimming funds from the Lodge.
And look, he's writing in some secret, ancient code.
No, this isn't code, they're abbreviations.
"HX" means history, "QD" means every day, "C" means and.
Deposit history, follow up with accounts every day, transfer and with drawals.
- You're telling me you can read this? - Of course I can.
This is doctor's Shorthand.
And this is doctor's handwriting.
See these sticky notes? Holmstrom wrote these.
He wasn't skimming, he figured out who was.
One of the doctors is cooking the books.
- How sure are you? - 85, 86%.
We've gone on much less.
Look, Irving, it's been four hours.
Is that all? You know, Carlton, it may be the rage talking, but if I had it to do over again, the day my tory came home with you, I would have told her to go right back out that door and come back alone.
- That's what I should have done.
- All right, Irving, that's enough! Now, I loved Victoria, and because she loved you, I let it slide that you're a pain in the ass.
But you're at my table now, and around here, we call someone like you a hostile witness.
It's a good way to get yourself locked up.
I can make your life a living hell, so you better give me the respect I deserve.
And I suggest you cut the crap.
Clear? I want a straight answer, and I want it immediately.
How did Arthur Holmstrom advance to the highmost Patriarch when you were the next in line? Well, I don't know how Art convinced the other guys.
He asked me, and I said it was okay.
He was a friend of mine, and he had health problems.
He was getting worse.
And I gave him the only chance he'd probably ever get.
Now, as for the snake business, I haven't traveled abroad in over three years.
I haven't been out of the country since you got married.
Doctor's orders.
Are we done? We're done when I say we're done! We're done.
You can go.
We've been to four doctors' offices.
None of the hand writing matches the books.
Plus, I probably caught something from somebody, and I'm tired of reading high lights for children.
They always hide the apple in the bike.
Can you man up, Shawn? Is that possible? I'm on an unbelievable hot streak right now, and I'm not about to ruin it.
It's good to know that moving oozing infection gel is more important than finding a killer.
Hey, maybe we could park on a steeper incline next time.
My quads aren't burning enough.
Tell Heather to call back tomorrow.
Yes? Good afternoon.
I'm Burton Guster, with central coast pharmaceuticals.
We're closed.
Yes, well, I'm here to drop off some product to Dr.
Downs.
He's a brother of mine.
- He isn't here at - Well, he was expecting me.
You can leave your card.
I just thought I'd drop by and pay him a birthday visit.
It's my birthday, the big two-nine.
Remember that one? I'm 26.
Really? So will Dr.
Downs be here later? I will make sure he gets this.
And look, he's writing in some secret, ancient code.
Dude! I just solved it.
Call Lassie.
O'Hara.
Right.
To absent friends.
To absent friends.
Absent friends? Like Arthur Holmstrom? What? My sweet violet brothers, we congregate here today in the flesh, not only to recognize our new highmost Patriarch, Irv Parker, but also to bear witness.
Along with the magic head of Gus, the wisdom of baum and that that stuffed creature.
Arthur Holmstrom was murdered.
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck goose! Dr.
Roger Downs, entrusted with the proceeds of charity activities, was funneling funds into his own pocket and covering his tracks by using a dummy accounting ledger.
Now, when Holmstrom discovered the corruption, he confronted downs and made a play for the highmost Patriarch position.
In exchange for his silence, Holmstrom got what he wanted.
But downs still couldn't chance getting caught.
And so he killed his own Lodge brother right here on the eye of Hathor in the middle of the Lodge.
And this is the murder weapon.
How dare you accuse me? I am a respected officer of this Lodge.
By the shores of gitchagoomee, I can see you in the house, frantically searching for the ledgers that Holmstrom kept securely stored in his safe, Ironically, to keep you good to your word.
Arthur Holmstrom's death was, unfortunate, but I had nothing to do with it.
Check it out, Lassie.
I'm quite certain you'll find traces of a powdered form of the venom of the Brazilian vine snake, native to Brazil.
It's part of an antivenom that Dr.
Downs uses in his charitable work abroad.
Who knew that in small doses it acts as a vaccine, while larger doses are absolutely lethal? I did - Really? - This is absurd! Holmstrom died of natural causes.
By the halls of Montezuma, I see you taking great care to put on protective gloves while lining the inside of the hood with the powder for Holmstrom's Patriarch ceremony, making it deadly venomous.
The poor old man's head and face never stood a chance.
Not too keen on the hippocratic oath, are we, Rog? I have nothing to say.
Speak to my lawyer.
Hold it right there, Dr.
Downs.
You're under arrest.
And none of this, your highmost, would have been discovered with out the intrepid Police work of one detective Carlton Lassiter, Santa Barbara Police department's own highmost Patriarch.
Nice collar, detective.
It's all in a day's work, Irving.
You may not be my son-in-law much longer, but I'm thinking you might be a monarch yet.
Hey! You ready to go? - What could you possibly mean by that? - Our big weekend, remember? I cancelled, I felt bad.
So I just thought we'd go this weekend.
Dad, I wish you'd given me a little bit of advance notice.
I'm I'm swamped here.
Yeah, right.
All right, look, I'm gonna go.
You want to come along, you're welcome.
Whoa, dad, wait a second.
There's still something that doesn't make any sense to me.
- Why did you leave the Lodge? - Look, Shawn, it's not important, let it go.
Come on, you big liar.
Throw a little truth on the Barbie, see if it stinks.
- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about man candor.
Let's have some.
All right, all right, you want some man candor.
You want the truth? My marriage was falling apart, and I made a choice.
A stopped caring about the Lodge, because I realized the only real member ship that mattered was family.
There.
Family? You really expect me to believe that? What the hell is that? This you gotta see.
Nice addition, don't you think? - We grabbed 'em on our way out of the Lodge.
- Way out? Yeah, Gus and I decided we didn't want to belong to a club that would have Lassiter as a member.
You can have yours if you want it.
Nah.
No, I think it should stay right where it is.
That way I can always keep an eye on you.