Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - A Very Juliet Episode

Well, this is it.
I guess it is.
Stay in California with me.
Scott, no, we talked about this.
I have two years left of college, the police academy in Miami, and you know long-distance relationships, they never work.
And Florida and California, I mean, we couldn't be further apart.
Yeah, I know, but this trip out here together, it's made me want to throw caution to the wind, you know? - And you You like California, right? - I do.
It's nice, and Maybe someday, but I don't know, the idea of a clean break, it just makes so much sense.
I know.
I have an idea.
How about in ten years, we meet right back here, same time, 4:00.
And if we're both married, great.
We'll talk about our kids, but if we're both single, we'll go for coffee, see where it goes.
Both practical and hugely romantic.
How do you always do that? All right.
There's only one problem.
Ten years is too long.
- How about eight? - How about seven? See you then.
I should just leave, right? No, a couple minutes.
I'll stay.
No, you're right.
You are absolutely right.
I really do appreciate you being my sounding board through all of this.
I want you to listen to me, O'Hara.
And believe this, because I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
All romance ends in despair Or death, but mostly despair.
Gut-wrenching despair.
I hate to say this, but I'm happy that this happened, because now you know, and it's gonna make you a better cop to realize that all people are essentially just out there to destroy any chance of happiness you would ever have.
I feel a hug coming on.
Okay, there you go.
You know what? You're right.
I am not going to sit here and wonder why he didn't show up.
I barely remembered the date.
How could he? I am gonna get back to work.
I have important things to do.
So your friend appears to have fallen off the face of the earth? I haven't digging anything yet, so I need you to look through every single file that I've tagged here.
We have a missing persons case Something I should know about? It's a A personal matter? First of all, I'm sure you know the use of these files for anything other than police business is illegal, and you have a serious backlog of real cases.
I know.
I'm I just lost my head for a second.
- I'm sorry.
- I don't mean to sound like a hard-ass.
- No.
I didn't get that.
- I did.
- I was trying to sound like a hard-ass.
- Mission accomplished.
Go back to work, O'Hara.
I'm sorry your boyfriend didn't show.
Can I offer you a piece of general advice about men? They often don't show.
Scott was different.
- You want us to find someone for you? - No, not us.
- You.
- Why not Shawn? It's a tricky situation.
See, it's somebody that I used to know.
A boyfriend Well, a former boyfriend, but seeing everything that's happened, it would be like opening a wound - You know what I mean.
- I will handle this in stealth mode.
You might not know this, but I'm known as "the vault of secrets".
- No, I didn't know that.
- Shawn will never find out.
- What are you doing? - Working on a case for Juliet, a random missing persons case.
She doesn't want me to bother you.
What? Jules needs help, I'm in.
You know that.
But no She said no Well, said no.
I'd rather do it solo.
Oh, my God.
Are you in the vault of secrets right now? You are.
- It's settled.
I'm helping.
- You are not helping.
Suck it.
I guess I'll just find Scott Seaver by myself, solo.
You don't know how to do it solo.
That's my department.
- Sounds like a challenge.
- It's not a challenge.
- Challenge accepted.
- Will you get out of here? - What are you doing here? - I have a meeting with someone.
- And you? - I solved Juliet's case.
- You did not.
- Yes, I did.
- Let me be the one to break it to her.
- Absolutely not.
- She hired me.
- Gus, it was a tricky find.
I want all the glory for solving Jules' case.
Besides, I am the one that does this.
- Wouldn't it be weird if you did it? - It's weird when anyone does it.
It looks pretty sweet when Simon Baker does it.
- Simon Baker doesn't do it.
- He doesn't? At least we have that.
Gus let me in on your little missing persons case.
- You what? - Your random missing persons case, - the person you've never met before.
- I've got some good news/bad news on this Scott Seaver fellow.
- Bad news is he's dead.
- What? Doornail.
That's why you had such a hard time finding him.
Oh, my God.
Man, she really takes these cases seriously.
It was her boyfriend.
Her college boyfriend.
What? You said she never even met this guy.
- I lied.
What difference does it make? - Why? What could possibly be the good news coming after that? I was gonna say the good news is we have a case, because I'm pretty sure he was murdered.
Psych 412 "A Very Juliet Episode" Timing: Psych Team - What are you doing here so early? - I'm working the Scott Seaver case.
Juliet needs closure.
- We did a terrible thing.
- No, you did a terrible thing.
Found it! - You called your dad in? - I found the guy in the first place.
- What? - With my help.
You sat here and ate munchos while I called in Sacramento.
- I was on the missing persons website.
- The band missing persons.
Check out this report I was able to find.
- I found that too.
- That is the worst murder cover-up.
Scott Seaver was pronounced dead 4 1/2 years ago, right? Car totaled on a lonely stretch of highway, in the California desert, windows down.
- So? - So it was 42 degrees that night.
More importantly, cars don't suddenly blow up on their own.
They certainly don't blow up in a way so there's no trace of anything.
- So what's next? - So glad you asked, because the thing is I managed to get onto a website that I probably shouldn't be on.
Don't tell me you're going all Pete Townsend on me.
I finally busted out my treasury department password.
What? You don't have a treasury department password.
No, but agent Lars Ewing did, and he was really lousy at using his other hand to cover his typing hand.
- Why my computer? - 'Cause it's nice.
We just got a hit on the name Scott Seaver.
- Is it local? - Fairly.
Are you sure it's cool for us to be in the chief's office? Of course, it is.
I practically run this place.
Hit the deck! It's the biscuit lady.
We're good.
I owe her 80 cents.
I kind of made out with her at the department picnic.
Here are my findings.
Turns out Juliet's boyfriend was working for a company - owned by the infamous J.
- Who? - Come on.
She wrote the Harry Potters.
- That's J.
Waring is a Los Angeles mobster.
Went down for racketeering few years ago.
- What's racketeering? - Nobody knows.
Get down! - That was a dude.
- That must have been some crazy picnic.
So this building was Waring's legitimate front.
I think this Seaver guy got in over his head and someone took him down hard.
One of us is gonna have to grill Juliet on her dead boyfriend.
- I nominate you.
- Wait.
We're gonna interrogate her now? Hasn't she been through enough already? We'll all do it together very delicately.
We were thinking collectively, that it might be nice if you told us a little more about Scott.
Especially his darkest tendencies, priors, fetishes.
- Gus, what are you doing? - I'm a sympathetic crier.
I am not crying.
Can't you just give me a little time to get my thoughts together? - That was your fault.
- Fetishes? Tell eye faucets here.
- For God sakes, man.
- No, I'm fine.
I'm so sorry.
I don't usually do horrible things to people that I care about.
I don't.
Shawn, it's okay.
It was actually really nice of you to ask about him.
He was a wonderful, wonderful guy.
Yeah, he sounds like it.
I was crazy about him.
My girlfriends said it was because he was so tall.
I love tall guys.
But for me, it was It was his heart and his soul, his athleticism.
- Let me guess he played football.
- Tight end.
Sometimes we tend to romanticize the past.
I'm sure you know that.
No, not with Scott.
He was just so secure and genuine Optimistic and youthful.
He had this rare figurine collection.
I loved dumbo when I was a kid, and he gave me one when I turned 18, broke up a set.
It was hugely valuable as a set, and he gave it to me, 'cause it meant something to me when I was 18.
You like tall men and fat animals.
Yes, I do.
He had this connection through his late grandfather's office with the mayor, and he actually got us Super Bowl tickets.
- 35 yard line.
- Super Bowl? It was the most exciting night of my life.
Get out of here! You and your black friend, get out of here! I actually feel better.
That makes me so happy.
Come here, 'cause we talked it out.
God, it feels so happy.
- Should we keep walking? - Sure.
The county sheriff was no help at all, and the accident scene where Scott crashed his car? It's now a mini-mall.
How nobody could have taken one single photograph, it just doesn't make any sense.
These guys are a bunch of jackasses.
Dad, thanks for trying, and bonus points for using the word "jackass" in another conversation unironically.
You've been on the phone? So you haven't heard anything I said.
The complaining? No, I heard.
We've been going in the wrong direction for about two hours now.
I know that look.
What are you on to? Dumbo figurines.
Turns out, those figurines are extremely rare, maybe three complete sets in the world.
Did a little search on eBay.
Someone is selling the exact set, minus the piece that Scott gave to Jules.
This is the apartment of this person? I'll call Lassie.
No, that'll take too long.
Besides, I have no idea whose jurisdiction we're in.
Here's the thing.
I think Scott was murdered, robbed.
The killer thinks the coast is clear.
He's finally selling off his belongings.
- All we have to do is find the seller.
- We just did! You knocked on the door of a murderer, and all you can say is "ooh"? I should have thought about it before I said it out loud, but I wanted a fun reveal for you.
Got some good news and some bad news.
Remember I told you that Scott Seaver guy was dead? - Shawn, not now.
- Well, here's the good news.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it! That's probably enough of that.
I can't believe I'm I'm seeing you.
There's so much I want to tell you.
What's the bad news? There is no bad news.
- Actually, there is.
- This is Daniel Wayne.
He's a federal marshal.
These are the two who found Mr.
- You did this? - Yes, we did, but don't worry.
There's no need for a reward.
That's good, because we generally don't give out rewards for exposing a key witness right out of witness protection.
And after college, I landed a job as an imports appraiser for a company in Los Angeles, but it wasn't till later I found out that one of the company's silent partners was J.
Who was a well-known figure in organized crime circles down there.
- You were working for a criminal? - I didn't know.
Waring was using it as a front for a number of criminal activities without the knowledge of his employees, so we raided his business, and we took him into custody.
And that's when I found out what was going on.
Waring killed a federal agent during the raid.
Seaver's testimony placed him in the room with the dead agent, effectively securing his life sentence.
Seaver here's a hero.
I'm sure any of us would have done the same in his place.
Remember when you saw that accident and then you pretended to be blind? That's different.
Our movie was in 8 minutes.
Why would you bring that up? You were willing to risk your life to put a dangerous man behind bars? Mr.
Seaver is a great American.
Who worked for a criminal.
And now his life may be in grave danger.
Waring is very well-connected, even behind bars.
These people hold grudges, and they pay for them in blood.
Fortunately, I have my team preparing a new identity for Mr.
I'm not going.
My life is here.
Not only did you show up at the train station, but when I wasn't there, You searched high and low for me.
I appreciate everything that you people have done for me, but you got to understand, witness protection, it might as well be prison.
I never felt comfortable, and I never felt safe.
I vote he goes back.
You will never be safe out of protection.
Once they make you, you're gone.
Waring is serving three life sentences.
I'm not the biggest piece of the puzzle here.
The bottom line is I'm out, I'm safe, and I don't care.
What, all of a sudden, this is my fault? What about Gus? I didn't have a chance to cook for anybody in protection.
When a date asks, "tell me about you" you have to answer from a government-issued note card.
When you were in the program, did you ever order spaghetti marinara and get egg noodles and ketchup instead? - What do you mean? - It's from Goodfellas.
Never mind.
I get it.
No, I don't.
Look at this spice rack.
All the seals unbroken.
Yeah, I don't really get a chance to cook for anyone, either.
Cop hours.
Finally regretting that choice not to attend clown college? How do we do this? I guess we start from seven years ago and move on from there, - and leave out all the boring parts.
- What if there are no boring parts? Then this is going to be a very long conversation.
- What's that? - I am so sorry, but I'm gonna have to tell you to move away from the window.
Male about 5'8".
I chased him off.
I don't know how he slipped past me.
You stay put.
I got back-up on the way.
This isn't a date? You're protecting me? Look, we need to get him back into protection, okay? I got a guy who can disappear with him.
Waring's men are out there.
Agent Wayne, you know as well as anyone that Mr.
Seaver is a private citizen, and he isn't legally compelled to do any such thing.
We are doing everything we can to ensure his safety.
Posting one cop outside her exposed apartment while she plays grab-ass inside? Who was in your apartment? The truth of the matter is, we may have overreacted last night.
We never actually saw the assailant, or the alleged assailant.
What time are we talking, before or after Conan? A person was seen, we chased him off.
- We can't be sure he came after Scott.
- Listen, girl, I don't care.
Tommy Lee Jones! - What? - Fugitive.
You're missing some of the country Shake it off.
- Let's try it again.
I'll be Harrison.
- You know, I used to have some respect, and you have single-handedly let this guy destroy my career.
I get it, agent Wayne.
You're very important.
But why don't you let me handle my people when you're in this building? All right, everybody relax.
I admit that some of this is my fault.
- Much of it.
- All.
But we recognize the trouble that we have caused.
I have a plan, and I will fix it.
This is your fix, Shawn? The man is a convicted murderer.
He will kill us.
Don't be the "it" in "wait for it!" This is gonna work great.
Hello, Mr.
My name is Shawn Spencer, well-known psychic detective, and this is my associate, Burton Guster.
Now you wanna use my real name? We'd like to ask you a question about one Scott Seaver.
You mean now that he's out of witness protection? - You knew that? - You just confirmed it for me.
I can't catch a break this week, can I? What do you want? We were hoping we could come here and appeal to you so that nothing happens to him.
Scott Seaver is the reason I'm in here.
Scott Seaver worked for you for two years.
- He had no beef with you.
- Why are you talking in an accent? - I'm speaking this man's language.
- The man's language is English, Shawn.
What's your point? I have a point.
It's this: Scott Seaver is a decent guy, trying to live his life in a decent way, and I am sensing that you are also a decent man.
Perhaps it will ease your conscience a bit to let him be.
You sense I'm a decent man? Plus, you're serving three consecutive life sentences, so Scott's testimony that put you in the room with the body doesn't really mean much not in the grand scheme of things.
Look, Mr.
Sometimes things happen without my knowledge.
People on the outside want to do things for me, whether I ask them to or not.
I have that kind of effect on people.
Course, they do.
You're super cool.
My question is: could you ask those people to not do those things to Scott? Perhaps.
What's in it for me? How about I bake you a cake that's extra high in iron? I have a far less ridiculous counter-proposal for you.
If you are a psychic, how about you prove something for me? What's that? Stop it.
That I didn't kill that man.
Seriously, Shawn, of course he's gonna say he's not guilty.
All cons are innocent.
Let's just hear him out.
The dead marshal at the raid, agent Renfro He was dead when I found him.
I was at the wrong place at wrong time, and the murder got pinned on me.
My God, he's convincing.
Convincing? He's a criminal.
Yes, but he has a great head, and a real presence.
There's something very Billy Zane-Ian about him.
You and Billy Zane are the only ones who use that term.
The man is playing you.
He's a murderer, a liar, and the lowest form of trash.
You know these things don't turn off, right? - Do you understand about honor? - Of course I do.
I have a bootleg copy of Saving private Ryan.
It's the first and last thing my father taught me.
Without honor, there is nothing.
Now, I don't mind serving the time for a crime I may have committed, but I don't kill people, and I can't have my children think I do.
- I believe you.
Yes, I do.
- You do not.
Oh, my Gosh.
Then vindicate me, and Mr.
Seaver will be safe, but not until my name is cleared.
Deal? Don't do it.
Don't do it, Shawn.
Don't, don't.
I just want you to know that you have my blessing.
For what? To consummate your relationship with Scott.
I just meant that Should this thing work out This guy's okay in my book.
Look, I don't get to be a confidante all that often Ever, for anybody, 'cause people don't really talk to me.
So I wanted to give this careful consideration, and, after a thorough background check and an unauthorized blood test, I get what you see in this guy.
What? You don't seem so sure.
I showed up for a cup of coffee, and now he thinks I combed the state for him.
I mean, I would think I was a little creepy.
It's just a lot to take.
You know what I feel like? I feel like that scene in Grease.
After the bonfire, when Sandy's sprung on Danny when he least expects it.
What? I can't see movies too? That is spot on, with scary precision.
Here's the thing, O'Hara.
You haven't seen this guy in, like, seven years.
You're both entirely different people.
The only way you're gonna know anything is if you get to know each other again.
Everything else is pure speculation.
It's like wondering what would have happened if Kenickie had driven at thunder road.
- Are we still on Grease? - We never weren't.
You didn't have to break the window.
What was I gonna do, climb over the barbed wire fence? I'm just saying, the door's been sitting here untouched.
- There's decay.
- Decay? - This isn't planet of the apes, Gus.
- This was a very fortified building.
Waring was big on security, so you're both right.
You guys always disagree? - Always.
- Not always.
- It's weird being in here now.
- So this was Waring's legitimate cover.
You weren't aware of any improprieties going on whatsoever? - Do you doubt me, Shawn? - No.
Maybe a little.
I'm an appraiser, not a smuggler.
Plus, I turned my boss in.
I was the one who could place Waring in the room with the body.
- Which room? - Waring's office.
Right over there.
This must be where it happened.
- Get down.
Be the body.
- I'm not laying on a floor.
- Come on, man, I'm onto something.
- This is a $260 shirt.
- You got that for 18 bucks.
- List price, Shawn.
- You cannot quote list price.
- There's blood on the floor.
That's not blood.
That's clearly crime scene oil.
- I've never heard of crime scene oil.
- They stopped using it in the 70s.
was like, "not in my house.
" - That makes no sense.
- Whose dad is a cop? Why's he laying in the pool of blood? He was being the body.
He was laying in the wrong direction anyway.
No, Scott, I'm a psychic, and I'm sensing that the body was turned in the other direction.
I remember it.
His head was over there.
I came in through the back door, saw Waring standing over with a gun, and then he ran out the front door.
Let me ask you something.
Why did they need you? Couldn't they have convicted him with the bullet? The bullet went right through the guy.
And they never found it.
Didn't you read the trial transcript? Yeah, Gus, that was right at the top of my "to don't" list.
Excuse me.
You should stop doubting this guy.
I don't know.
Nothing he says holds any water.
Everything you've said in the last 2 days has been wrong.
That's false.
I was right about Mr.
T in The blues brothers.
I'm talking about the case.
All right, fine.
Let's just say, for argument's sake, that you're right.
The body was this way, and the head was down there.
That would mean The bullet went right through the guy.
I think I know where the bullet went.
- You know those are backwards? - What? That makes all the difference in the world.
- You're looking too low, Shawn.
- No, I'm not.
That window was 20 feet off the ground.
The coroner's report said that the exit and entry wounds were the same height.
That means the bullet traveled relatively straight.
Sometimes I have to help my partner with the police aspect.
- But you're not compensating.
- I most certainly am.
But you're looking at the forest like it was five years ago.
Yeah, trees grow.
Holy Is that what I think it is? Shimmy up a little higher.
- Stop worrying about your fingernails.
- This thing is covered with sap and I have very sensitive cuticles, and if you're so great, why don't you come up here and do it? Gentlemen, I think we may have just found ourselves a bullet.
Guy with a gun! We need to go! - You're supposed to bring me! - Jump! - It's too high! - It's not that high! They want Scott, not you! - This better be good, Mr.
- It'll be good, chief.
There is a bullet in this tree.
It's in a tiny hole.
You cannot see it, but my senses have led us here.
We can see it.
You need a ladder or a psychic third eye to see it from there.
Lodged deep in the trunk is the bullet that killed agent Xavier Renfro.
That's not his name.
- We see the hole.
- No, Jules, you'd need binoculars to see it from that vantage point.
Someone must have gotten here before us.
- Who? - The real killer.
You've reached a new level of recklessness, and, unfortunately, it's become necessary to issue you both formal reprimands.
On what grounds? How about misuse of a federal database? Informing a convicted criminal that his accuser is out of protection, trespassing, - assisting an incarcerated murderer.
- These are crimes? Is this North Korea? They all are, except the last, which is just poor judgment.
- Did agent Wayne put you up to this? - He wanted charges brought against you.
I cannot believe that you are bowing down to this man.
Can someone give me a reason why he is so obsessed with this silly little case? Because the agent who died was his partner.
You should just stop talking until this streak blows over.
May I speak with agent Wayne? Agent Wayne is escorting a witness to a handler to go back into protection.
- Not Scott.
- Yeah.
He agreed to go back in.
Getting shot at in the forest was a real eye-opener.
And, besides, you just missed him.
Spencer, now.
Holy crap.
It was him.
It was Wayne! He's the one that dug the bullet out.
Honestly, you are scraping - the bottom of the barrel now.
- You're not listening.
He was there the night of the shooting.
He was.
Why do you think he's so passionate? That is not why he was so passionate! Scott Seaver did not witness a murder.
He witnessed a cover-up.
Somebody might want to follow me! What the hell do you think you're doing, Spencer? - I'll have you arrested.
- That's funny.
I was about to say you the same thing.
On what grounds? Let's see here murder, attempted murder, conspiracy, unlawful carving of a spruce tree.
What? You're the one that dug the bullet out.
The one that killed your partner, the one that came from your gun.
It was you.
You did it.
Wait a second.
It was an accident, wasn't it? You saw a gun, and you saw a figure, and you thought it was Waring.
Then Waring came in, saw the body on the ground, pulled his gun.
And that's when Scott came in, he found Waring standing over the body, and then saw Waring flee the scene.
When you got to the room, you realized your horrible mistake.
Your partner laying lifeless on the ground, the only one that could have shot him was you.
You repositioned the body, made it look like Waring had shot him, and then you pinned the whole thing on Waring.
Murder conviction was a lock, followed by a sentence which Waring deserved, but always eluded, because of his cool demeanor and Billy Zane-Ian qualities.
Let's be honest, that man has a presence.
But perhaps most importantly, it meant your partner agent Renfro didn't die in vain.
I really wish you hadn't said that.
Sorry, Wayne.
No take backs.
You know, getting rid of him, that was gonna be easy.
You, not so much.
Just let it go, man.
You're clearly outnumbered.
Really? Guess that evens things up a bit.
You think so? Oh, boy.
You're gonna hide behind your little gun, huh? Come on.
Put that thing down.
Take me on mano a mano, huh? Just two dudes going at it.
Two unevenly-matched dudes? Where am I? You gonna be able to bend those things? Can you bend those bullets? I always hate when they make that speech.
Who's gonna drop their, you know, gun I'm not proud of that.
Scott Seaver was a convenient witness, right place, wrong time! Putting him in witness protection would ensure that there were no questions left behind! Dude, did you see what I just did? You're not gonna kill me.
You're not a cold-blooded murderer.
- Otherwise you would have killed Scott.
- The only difference is, I didn't have to kill him.
- Federal agent, you idiot.
- Not anymore.
So what happened? Gave him the old mano a mano speech.
- Did it work? - Not even sort of.
Then what? - Had to knock him out, Gus.
- I thought Scott knocked him out.
I've heard it both ways.
I have a confession to make.
I didn't come looking for you last week.
Shawn did, all on his own.
I know.
You do? I guess I was kind of hoping it was you.
I would have If I thought you were really in trouble.
Where does this leave us? I'm not sure.
Seeing you again changed so much in my life.
Me too.
But I don't even know what my life is right now.
Right now.
I mean, I lost five years of it.
I guess, someday, I might, but The thing is I have an idea.
How about, in three years, we meet right back here? Same time.
See you.
One problem.
Three years is too long.
- How about two? - How about one? See you then.