Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Heeeeere's Lassie

- Great.
- Good? Uh, Shawn, what's going on here? Gus, buddy.
You remember when I spent all that dough on the weekend retreat with Jules? It was my dough.
Of course I remember.
All right.
Why are you doing that with your eyes? I am trying to clear your mind of the money that I owe you.
Look, dude, we don't have a case.
No case, no money.
So I'm just trying to raise a little cash to pay you back.
I've already made After the fliers go up, this place is gonna be like Gang Busters.
When are the fliers going up? Seven to ten business days.
The indoor yard sale is today, Shawn.
Do the math.
You do the math.
You're the numbers guy, I'm in sales.
Hey, Thurman.
What's happening, kid? Is this a joke? No, it's not a joke.
If you don't like it, buy something else.
Listen, Shawn, if you really want to raise some cash, why don't you just sell the engagement ring you didn't give to Juliet? You crazy? How dare you! What? That is my Grandma Gamma's ring.
It is a prized Spencer family heirloom.
Which you stashed in a Nintendo DS and almost lost forever.
Which will never happen again because now it's in the most secure place ever.
Where? A safety deposit box? Even better.
A ThunderCat.
What? Speaking of which, where is that thing? That will be $7.
Whoa! That is not for sale! Sorry.
Sorry, Thurman.
You just have to hand that over.
He did pay full price for it, Shawn.
Well, I'm going to buy it back, Jules.
The price just went up, Kingfisher.
Kingfisher? Thurman, I will give you $15 and not a penny more.
Try again.
Give me the Just This is $57.
It's all I have.
Suck Hey, Carlton.
Okay, I'm at the Psych office.
I'll be there in, like, 10 minutes.
Well, I think they're going to follow me no matter what.
Okay, goodbye.
Suicide over in the Thompson District.
Foul play? Jules, I need foul play.
I need money.
I need someone to buy Robert the doll for 17 bucks.
Did you see what that kid did to me? So? Nothing suspicious.
I'm going to have to go rogue and fabricate something to get us in on this.
How does that differ from usual? I'm completely sober.
You're an idiot.
I could eat.
Me too.
All right, everybody, listen up! Deceased name is Mark Waraftig.
Age, 35.
Kept a tidy living space.
I respect that.
His body was found by the building manager, a Mr.
Lloyd Marr.
I'm here.
Oh, right.
Uh, we will We will call you if we need anything.
Don't have a cell phone.
All right, well, we have the building number and, uh, you live here.
Well, Jules, my vision has told me that the hanging dude hung himself.
So, should I just invoice you or is there a cash machine nearby? Hmm.
That doesn't really strike me as a billable observation, Shawn.
Damn it.
Well, Shawn and I will find the kitchen, then we'll figure out what our hourly rate is for coming up with nothing.
Hey, Lloyd, say, um, two bedroom, two bath, approximately what? Sixteen hundred square feet? Sixteen fifty.
Original oak floors.
Some lovely period details.
I wonder if it's still knob and tube.
Solid plumbing.
- Hey, Spencer! - Yo! What's the appliance situation like in the kitchen? Twelve can dispenser in the fridge.
Super dope.
But his snacks are disgusting.
Way too healthy.
Please tell me you are not shopping for real estate right now.
In exactly 93 days and 94 nights, Marlowe will settle up her debt to society and I think that it is high time that I step up to the plate and bought a home for myself and the woman I love.
Besides, anything more than a cot and a hot plate is going to look like Versailles to her.
What? I can tell just by glancing they're not my size.
Oh, my God.
Lloyd, my man, I'm going to need Mark's next of kin information.
That'd be his sister June.
I would love to get a price on her dead brother's living room set before the estate sale vultures swoop in.
It plush.
Still quite firm.
I don't have a case for you and I can't pull one out of my butt.
Dad, I'm telling you, I'm in dire straits here and I'm not even Mark Knopfler.
He's threatening to take out an ad in the Pennysaver, encouraging people to commit crime.
Sorry, kid.
There's nothing I can do.
Just know that this affects you too.
Because if I don't pay Gus back the money I spent on my vacation with Juliet, he's gonna reposes my stuff and I don't have stuff, which means by default he gets your stuff.
Go ahead, touch my stuff.
Just try it.
Make my day.
Gather round, everyone! There is some big news that you are all going to want to hear! I have just purchased a new condo for myself and my girlfriend Marlowe who will be joining me upon completion of her prison term.
There was a competing bid on the place but I squashed that like a bug.
You are looking at the newest resident of Prospect Gardens.
The Prospect Gardens? Yes, McNab, the Prospect Gardens.
Try and hide your jealousy.
You're embarrassing yourself.
I heard that place has bad juju.
No, you didn't.
You're right.
Thank you.
Now then, I will be hosting a little, uh, move in soiree this weekend.
And you are all invited.
My mother and her life partner Althea, who I have begrudgingly come to accept is the solution to her need for companionship will be co-hosting the event.
So, wear clothing that you don't mind getting paint on and back braces are recommended but not required.
Okay, get back to work, crime fighters.
It's going to be fun! Wow, Lassie.
You bought the dead guy's condo? You see, Spencer, this is what a real man in a committed relationship does.
He provides for his lady love.
Watch and learn and maybe, against all odds, O'Hara just might stick around.
Probably not.
You should have told him how you almost got down on one knee without telling your best friend Hey! Can you stop bringing up old stuff.
Carlton, right? Amy.
On the second floor.
Quick directions from you to me.
Exit this door, hard right, three floors down.
I know where your apartment is.
Ooh, wow.
I love what you've done with the place.
It cozy but with a heavy dose of man.
I dig it.
Sad about Marky.
He was good people.
Can I help you? No.
But I have something for you.
It's a potluck basket.
I like to do it for all the newbie's.
See, everybody in the building gives a little gift and then I make it look all pretty.
Here you go.
Welcome to Prospect Gardens.
Rat traps.
Oh, um, yes, they are from Lloyd, the building manager.
He's got them all over the building, just in case you get rats.
The bath salts are from me.
A little something for you and your lady.
How do you know if I have a lady? Oh, please, as if something like that could still be on the market.
Right? It's not, right? Well, uh, listen, Judy.
Maybe you can, uh, save me some time, and an altercation or two.
I dropped my nest egg on this place and that's years of interrogations and arrests.
Arrests? Are you a man in blue? I'm Head Detective with the Santa Barbara Police Department.
Ooh, get out of this condo! Keep it down! Art! You take that hairy eyeball in for a trim, you gloomy Gus, you.
You people suck! He's just a grumpy pants 'cause his wife is dead.
I need you to do something for me, Sally.
I need you to spread the word that there is a new sheriff in town.
And I'm going to be doing background checks on everyone in this building including that duplicitous Good.
Because he's a full on little D-bag.
Hey, any chance you could get Lloyd to replace that hideous awning? Consider it done.
I leave no stone unturned, Amy.
Now go spread that word.
Spread it door to door like a northwest wild fire being fed by an August wind.
You're kind of super awesome.
Thanks for noticing.
You're welcome.
And, listen, if you need anything, I am right I know, you know I know, you know I know, you know What going on? Gus, I've learned my lesson.
It turns out that toys are not the safest place to hide expensive jewelry.
Hey, Lassie.
What, did you come by to thank us in person for your housewarming gift? I'm here because I have a situation at my new condo.
Dead hookers.
Robot cockroaches.
I heard things.
All right.
Take a load off, Lassie.
What's What going on? Just strange sounds and jiggling and hissing and I also, um, saw some things.
What kind of things? Just general spooky type things.
Things that are hard to explain like, um, people that are there when they shouldn't be and should be when they aren't and, um, there were some chairs that moved on their own.
Your place is haunted! No.
No, it's not.
It's not haunted, you simpletons! It's just It's nothing more than nonsense, probably.
And since nonsense is your specialty, I thought I would come here first.
We appreciate that.
What the hell is this? Standard hiring contract.
Legal stipulation, sexual harassment guidelines.
Labor laws.
And an envelope for per diem.
That sixty bones per dude.
And a slushie fund.
That money set aside strictly for slushies.
You two morons are really enjoying this, aren't you? Not at all.
Not really.
I will pay your standard flat rate.
Not a penny more.
Take it or leave it.
We will take it.
You know the address.
Meet me at the condo at 6:00.
Don't be late.
You got it.
God, it feels good to be back.
What? You understand why I'm upset, right? Lassie, we have to be prepared for any and all scenarios.
Including ones that may involve spirits, shades or sprites.
Even though we know it's not any of that.
Take those off, Guster.
Now, listen, if anyone in the building inquires about your presence, you're here for a sleepover.
Okay, not a sleepover.
You're here on official police business.
Let's do this.
Oh, howdy neighbor! So, you know I was just talking to Lloyd and I was telling him that I think we need a vegetable garden on the roof and he was all, "Screw off.
" And I was, "You're hilarious.
" Had to be there.
Anyway, who are your friends? Shawn Spencer.
Psychic Detective.
This is my partner Fellatio Del Toro.
We're investigating a haunting in Lassiter's new condo.
That's some good skinny.
I got to get up to this floor more often, huh? No, they're joking.
They're here on official police business.
Copy that, Poncherello, that's the haps.
You know, I got to say, I feel a whole lot better having a big strong man in blue on the beat.
Ooh, got to get off to work.
Nice to meet you, Shawn.
Hello, Rose Marie.
Hello, Carlton.
I see you're still with child.
That's sort of how it works when you're pregnant and haven't had the baby yet.
That okay with you? I guess I don't have a choice do I? Hey, Rose Marie, I don't suppose you've given any more thought to soundproofing the wall we share in anticipation of your offspring having colic.
I don't suppose you've given any more thought to kissing my fat, pregnant ass.
Jellybean, give me those bags! Hey, Carlton, how are you? Hello, Ed.
I'm fine.
Tony, come home, sweetie.
So, listen, we're doing movie night tonight and if you don't have anything else to do, why don't you come on by? Lassie, can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Oh, gosh, darn it, Ed, that sounds really fun but they're here on official police business.
All male sleepover.
Oh! Fun! Well, uh, next time then.
Say, Carlton, who you going to call? I do not like those people.
So where'd you see those ghostly nude twins? They weren't nude.
They were elderly.
Maybe in your imagination.
Down at the end of the hall.
It a hallway, not a nightclub! Jerks! That's Art.
He was in Korea.
Lloyd, my good man, I've been wanting to talk to you about something.
Let's keep those light bulbs under 60 watts, huh? The old girl's wiring wasn't built for speed.
Carry on.
Uh-uh, don't you ever touch me, son.
Duly noted.
I'll talk to you soon.
Good day.
What are you doing? Where are you going? What are you Well, hello, ladies.
Yes? Can we help you? You know what? I think I have the wrong condo.
My bad.
I love your dresses though, they are very frilly.
Good day.
Good day.
That will be $1000.
So the creepy twins live in the building.
But I haven't touched my chairs since someone or something put them on top of the table.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is impossible.
Looks like the ghost of interior decorators past.
That will be another $1000.
You have to believe me, something strange is occurring here.
Lassie, do you have any idea how badly I wanted those twins to be a set of freakish apparitions? More than you'll ever know.
The place looks great by the way.
I think this is just a case of your imagination getting the best of you.
It happens to Gus and I once every seven days.
This is not my imagination.
All right, think about it, how sure must I have been that something nefarious was at play here for me to come to you two dunderheads for help? Hmm.
He does have a point.
It's Lassiter, he has a point.
I also think Stop it.
Stop it.
Okay, we'll stay.
But we need to be free to do what we do.
There's an intensity to our work.
Focus so pure that even the slightest distraction could cost us very dearly.
Gus, give me your face.
Wassup, girl.
Worthless idiots.
Oh! I want to blow the bubbles.
Get it, girl, get it.
Did you have a bad dream, baby? Oh, my God.
What the hell? - Lassie! - Lassie! - What? - Get in here! Go to sleep! - Lassie! - Lassie! You might want to get in here, Lassie! Lassie! Lassie! What? What? Look! Is that blood? Woody, we came right down.
Why did you send us a 911 text when you were just upstairs? No, it was a 7I11 text and I was hoping you could bring me a slurpee or a quesadilla in the shape of a tube.
Did you analyze the blood from my light fixture like I asked? I did.
But first may I interest you in a game of shuffle board? Ooh! Me first.
Yes, please.
Just spit it out.
The blood wasn't human.
I'm sorry? The blood wasn't Chupacabras? Dead robot hookers? Some kind of animal, one with abnormally high triglycerides and what appears to be an STD.
Did you say animal? I can't remember what I said.
Lloyd's rat traps.
That it! His rat traps.
Some sort of very, very large rodentia got caught in one of the rat traps and bled out into the light fixture.
It could happen.
I found a jackrabbit in my dishwasher once.
How does that explain all of the other weird stuff you've experienced? Stress.
The presence of you two nitwits.
Oh, this is so stupid.
Just forget about the whole thing, okay? Do not breathe a word of this to anyone.
Why would we spread this story around? So Carlton's new condo is haunted and his ceiling is bleeding? Yes.
It all happened when we took a late night trip to tinkle town.
Not together.
Carlton, what What happened to you? These two happened.
You know, fellows, I, uh, didn't mention it before, because it goes without saying.
You're welcome.
You're fired.
As usual, thanks for absolutely nothing.
Rat traps! We should have told her about Lassiter's kitchen chairs being mysteriously placed on top of the table.
Gus, I'm not telling Juliet about things that we don't believe actually happened.
Oh, my God, I believe that happened.
I was afraid you were going to say that.
This isn't a haunting, Gus.
Someone's behind it.
And if we can prove who, Lassie has to pay us for services rendered.
That might be the most pragmatic thought you've ever had.
But who is doing it? Tonight's movie night so if you're not doing anything, why don't you come on by? There was a competing bid on the place but I squashed that like a bug.
Lassie's neighbors.
The Farrows.
Really? They seemed pretty normal to me.
I will spill my own blood to defend thine honor with my life.
My one, my only Charlemagne.
So warm! So cold.
And curtain.
Thank you.
Ed is one of the more respected thespians in Santa Barbara.
Really? Really? I thought you had to be a woman to be one of those.
Actually not since 1964.
Now, where were we before we were interrupted by my impromptu performance? We are aware that you have interest in the condo next door.
Expanding your space? Well, yes, of course we were interested.
Especially with the new baby on the way.
And, yes, I had some plans drawn up.
It was going to be incredible.
One big penthouse.
Was? We owned a lingerie store, Frisky Business.
We had to close the doors about a month ago.
So until we get back on our feet, we have to put our plans on hold.
We even withdrew our offer on 536.
And as far as anything strange going on here the past couple of days, we only got in town yesterday and last night we had to take Tony to the emergency clinic.
He was running a very, very high fever.
I can't imagine why.
One last question, is there any merchandise left over from Frisky Business? We do have a few pieces left But they're not for sale.
Gus, two things.
One? Ed's performance left much to be desired.
I can see the wheel's spinning.
And 'B', it's time we seek answers from the man who knows this building better than anyone.
Well, okay, Lloyd, but as long as we are in agreement that that awning - is a real eyesore and so - I'm changing it.
Oh! Hello.
You know what I was just thinking? I should put together a camping trip.
I love to camp.
Do you love camping? I love camping.
The whole building could go camping.
Think on this.
You liked that.
I didn't mind it.
Lloyd, my good man.
I'm Shawn Spencer.
This is my partner, Eddie Adams from Torrance.
Yeah, I remember you.
You had your hand in a dead man's fridge.
Actually, I was just looking for my watch.
May we sneak a word with you? Come on in.
Lloyd? He did tell us to come in.
I guess so.
Where'd he go? Lloyd? Really love what you've done with the place.
Clean lines.
This is disgusting.
Who lives like this? Wow.
Silly man.
Uh, we We are here to ask you kind of an odd question.
There's nothing around here that seems odd, especially if you've seen what I've heard and heard what I've seen.
So you're aware of the unexplained phenomena in unit 536? Well, the business in 536 ain't unexplained.
That's what we were thinking.
I told you we came to the right dude.
We think someone is trying to scare Carlton Lassiter out of 536.
You're right.
And I know who the culprit is.
Condo 536.
I think we're done here.
Wait, wait, I've seen it.
Sound minded men move in there then they begin to unravel and before you know it, they're delivered into the mouths of madness.
Condo 536 has a curse within its walls.
Shawn, we need to get out of here.
Thank you for your time, Lloyd.
All right, Papa Bear, previous residents of Lassie's place.
Go! All right, first of all, there's definitely something strange going on here.
It says that a guy named Ray Brauer lived in condo 536 for about three years before one day, he decides to take a flying leap out the bedroom window.
Dead at the scene.
What? So the last two guys who lived in Lassiter's place took their own lives? Yeah, apparently.
Now according to this, Brauer was increasing erratic before he took the big plunge.
Now I'm no expert in this stuff but there's definitely something weird going on here.
It's not haunted.
No, it isn't.
I think it's haunted.
It probably is.
What? Shawn, I've been doing a little more digging into the history of Lassiter's building, gets even more weird.
I'm not sure that's even possible.
Prospect Gardens' architect was a man named J.
Michael Hageman, who conceived it as his masterpiece.
It does have nice windows.
But the project had a lot of problems like structural issues, a series of contractors and eventually he saw his pet project as a colossal failure.
But not those windows, right? It was reported that his behavior became more and more erratic and then he just disappeared.
Was he ever found? Three days later in the building, dead, along with his wife.
Murder, suicide.
It's haunted.
It's haunted.
I'm with Gus on this one.
Would you two please stop? All I'm saying is someone, other than me, might want to go check on Lassie to make sure the condo hasn't taken him.
All right, let's go.
Other than me.
Other than me, Shawn.
It's a coincidence, Gus.
Did you even listen to Juliet's story? What, some hack architect has a mean wife? It's a tale as old as time.
Buildings do not drive people crazy.
Lassie? Lassie? Mmm.
He was even worse last night? He's totally out of his tree.
We're really hoping you'll talk to him, Chief.
He could use a bit of a shave but he looks all right to me.
Hey! I'll go talk to him.
Woody, you got to give us something.
Lassie's off of his tree and he's only getting worse.
My brethren, the death of Marc Steven Waraftig has me vexed.
Blood screen says the man's blood contained a surprising amount of amyl nitrite.
Poppers? Super job, Guster.
A psychoactive inhalant commonly used as a recreational drug.
Usually before a long shift.
But his snacks are disgusting.
Way too healthy.
That doesn't make any sense.
Waraftig was some sort of health nut.
Woody, can you pull up the autopsy report for a Ray Brauer? Does the perfectly coiled human intestine fit in a 10 gallon hat? Of course I can.
- Oh, boy.
- Meow.
Did you see that? Yes.
Swan dive out his bedroom window.
I always wanted to try that.
Traces of amyl nitrite in his system.
Guys, that must be it! This psychoactive drug drove Brauer and Waraftig crazy and now someone's trying to do the same thing to Lassie.
Clearly we're looking for someone who knows the building and has access to the units.
This is exhausting.
Remind me again what I'm supposed to be looking for.
I don't know.
Anything that'll let us know why Lloyd had it in for the guys in 536.
Dude, this is the housewarming gift we got Lassie.
Remember? ASPCA gift card? But we made a donation in Lassiter's name on behalf of squirrels everywhere.
The question is why does Lloyd have it? Because Lloyd is stealing from his residents.
This is Rose Marie's hat.
Based on this random collection of junk, who knows how long he's been thieving.
This guy is a serious klepto.
I think he has one of Amy's paychecks.
Gus, this is the stuff Woody was talking about, amyl nitrate.
The stuff that was found in the two dead guys from 536.
Yeah, Lloyd is literally gassing them.
Uh, go up to Lassie's place.
See if you can find any traces of this stuff.
I'm going to call Juliet and look for Lloyd.
Why do I have to go to Lassie's? You would rather go look for Lloyd in some dark corner? I'm going to Lassie's.
Lassie? Lassiter? What are you doing here, Guster? Lassie, oh, listen, someone has been messing with your place and we know who it is.
So do I.
You're not in your right mind because you've been breathing a dangerous chemical.
This stuff.
Because you put it there just now.
No, I found it.
There is no limit to how far you and Spencer will go to mess with me, is there? Okay, Lassie, just try to pull it together And why? Because I am moving forward in my life and I have finally scratched out a little bit of happiness and you two can't stand to see it.
Well Especially you.
At least Spencer has a girlfriend.
That's cold-blooded, Lassie.
Here's the juice, Guster.
I will prevail.
I have worked too long and too hard to get to where I am and I'm not about to let you two take this away from me.
Okay, you know what? You're out of your damn mind.
Stay here and relax, I'm going to get you some help.
You're not going anywhere.
What is that supposed to mean? Are you crazy? En garde.
What? Lassie, Lassie! Ah! Strike one! Come play with us, Carlton.
Rain check.
Hey, Jules, I need you to come down to Prospect Gardens and ask Lloyd the manager a few questions.
Guster! Guster! The reason those guys killed themselves is because they were out of their heads! Just like you! Guster.
Ow! Son of a Why doesn't that kid ever put his bike away? You can run but you can't hide! Guster! That was dumb.
Guster, I'm hurt real bad, buddy.
I think I've pulled a hammie.
Actually I think I broke my ankle.
I'm not kidding about that.
It hurts quite a lot.
Guster! This is really starting to annoy me.
Guster! Time to come out! Gus.
Boo! Ah! Guster! Guster! Come on! It going to be fun! It wasn't me! It was Lloyd! Lloyd is the one who is doing this! Okay.
You win.
I guess I'm just going to leave.
You're not leaving.
You're just making footstep sounds! Fine.
Have it your way.
This door is really solid! I think it's oak.
I guess I just better huff and puff on this one.
Hey, Guster.
You know at this rate it's going to take me forever, so, uh, how about you help a brother out and unlock the door, huh? So you can kill me? Hell no! Guess we have to do this the old fashioned way then.
Big money, no whammies! What? Stop! Stop! Tony! Tony! Help me! Help me! What? Tough luck, Guster.
No, please! Please don't! Oh! That's it, Lassie! It wasn't Gus.
It was Lloyd.
It was Lloyd.
You can let me up now.
What is that rattling? What? It wasn't Lloyd.
All right.
If you can think of one thing in the world that would make you feel better right now, what would it be? I wouldn't say no to a sloppy Joe.
Thank you.
What the hell is this, Spencer? Oh, that, my friend, is gazpacho.
It's very refreshing.
All right, I'm going to get him out of here.
We're going to be back at the station if you all need us.
By the way how did you know Gus was in trouble? We've got the shine.
I also sent him a distress text.
That helped.
I'm so sore.
Sorry I tried to kill you with my sword, Guster.
Shawn, if Lloyd isn't our killer then who else could it be? This guy a serious klepto.
I think he has one of Amy's paychecks.
We need to get back in Lloyd's place.
What? Why? Are you going to explain to me what's going on, Shawn? Yes, Gus.
Yes, I am.
And it is a doozy.
We thought that Lloyd had stolen one of Amy paychecks.
But upon further inspection, it's not a paycheck.
It's a bill.
You don't work at the hospital, do you, Amy? We paid a little visit to a psychiatrist named Dr.
You were his patient.
Too bad the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement is moot when you're suspected of murder.
He told us you have mommy issues and daddy issues.
And something called acute rejection disorder.
Probably has something to do with you being left at the altar.
You fell madly in love with the first victim, Ray Brauer.
But the feelings just weren't mutual.
So you used the folklore of Prospect Gardens.
Stories of its haunting borne by the murder-suicide committed by the building's architect, J.
Michael Hageman, many years ago.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Pipe down, Cocoa Puffs.
This breakdown is a mouthful.
You methodically made Ray think he was losing his mind by haunting and drugging him.
And eventually pushing him out of his own bedroom window.
It worked so well that you decided to do the same thing again to Mark.
Who also gave you the cold shoulder.
That's not true.
We're still not finished, Bananas Foster because there's poor, poor Lloyd.
After all these years of kleptomania, his sticky fingers finally found evidence that you were up to some nasty, nasty business.
So you killed him.
And somehow figured out a way to stuff him into the world's largest industrial dryer.
You put him on a long cycle.
Permanent press.
Which is not only cruel but also not energy efficient.
The cops are on their way, Amy.
This is the end of the line.
A labradoodle.
Where? Oh! Are you kidding me? Come on! Are you kidding me? She's got the crazy coursing through her legs! We'll never catch her.
All right, stop! Stop! We're wildly out of shape! No, he's out of shape.
The air is too thin for me up here.
I can't believe you're not even breathing hard.
I know why you were haunting Lassiter.
Head detective of the SBPD.
Not going to leave any stone unturned in your building, had to turn up the heat to get rid of him.
You even rigged the light fixture to make it fill up with some kind of animal blood.
Which was super inspired in my opinion.
But also super psychotic.
Just throw in the towel.
We can get you the help that you need! She's going up the river.
They have shrinks in the clink, Gus.
Everybody knows that.
They're good doctors! Good prison doctors.
Just stop it.
Let it end here! Let it end here.
There are so many floors! So many floors! Give up, Amy! There's no escape now! Where'd she go? You know, this is not the greatest escape strategy, Amy! Unless you led us up here for some reason.
For what? What? It's not like there's an amazing view.
It's mostly trees.
Good thing Lloyd replaced that awning.
Yeah, I guess.
She crazy! She did it! Yeah.
Hey, dude, I remember where I hid the ring.
Gus, that was money.
I must have shined that to you.
You can't shine, Shawn, but you can use your brain.
I did.
I am.
I'm going to re-hide the ring.
This time I've narrowed it down to three super-secret spots.
I want you to pick your favorite one.
Ready? Reptile house.
How about you put it back in the drawer at your dad's house before he notices that it's missing? That's not really hiding it, Gus.
It's more like giving it back.
That's right.
Or are you keeping it because you're planning on proposing again? No.
I told you.
That was never even really on the table.
Really? Fine.
Just to show you that I'm on the level, I'll do it, all right? I'll take the ring back to my dad's house.
Not gonna be any fun but I'll do it.
Because marriage proposal is the furthest thing from my mind.
O'Hara? Gus, I haven't eaten in 72 hours.
I need a sandwich and a cold drink, noncarbonated.
The sandwich should have cheese but it's not a deal breaker.
I'm not a young man.
All right.
Frank, here you are.
Dressed like that.
I came as soon as I got your voice-mail.
Voicemail? You left me an urgent message saying you were headed out for a weekend getaway with my daughter and you wanted to talk to me first.
Ooh, right.
I did not forget that I did that.
But I left you that message a week ago.
Where were you? Tanzania.
You climbed Kilimanjaro? Gus, don't make up words.
What were you doing in Australia, Frank? Shawn, this is not about you and me and whether or not I conned the Igbo's into revealing the location of the Crystal Skull of Mawensi.
I sense that you had an urgent question about my daughter so spit it out.
Don't mince the words.
I gambled and went with a pickle.
Okay, here the deal.
I got this crazy idea in my head that Jules wanted me to propose marriage on our vacation.
So, uh So I called you and then I stole my grandmother's engagement ring from my father's bedroom.
Wait a minute, go back.
How much was that engagement ring worth? Ball-park.
I think Pop Pop spent like five grand on it back in 1930, why? Mmm.
I'm glad I didn't know that.
Anyway, it was a huge misunderstanding, thank God.
But since you're here and you traveled all that way, maybe I should bank your blessing in case I need it in the very, very distant future.
Um, Shawn, I don't know, you're sharp.
But I always dreamt that my daughter would marry someone unlike me, someone honest.
Now, look me in the eye and tell me you've never lied to my daughter.
Huh? Yeah? Birds of a feather.
I've always had trouble with the truth.
All my life.
And it's taken its toll on the people closest to me.
O'Hara, yes, Shawn has bent the truth on occasion.
But he's as decent as they come.
In fact, he's the type of guy I'd want my daughter to bring home.
Provided he was mostly black.
And God fearing.
And she wasn't really my daughter.
I'll think about that.
That's very sweet.
I'll wait for your next call.
Gus, what happened to my pickle? You ate it already.
Can't put anything over on you.
Look at the time.
I got to fly.
If the NSE calls looking for me, tell them I've dumped my cell phone.
Thanks, man.
You're welcome.
He still hasn't given me his blessing.
And he took the plate I made from Color Me Mine.
This guy! Frank! I know, you know I know, you know I know, you know