Sex and the City s06e12 Episode Script

One

- Come on, let's hurry.
- I'm not dressed to hustle.
When Charlotte and I heard there was a woman in Chelsea not talking or eating we were there in a New York minute.
And she's doing this for how long? Sixteen days, 24 hours a day.
- This is Day 6.
- It gets worse? "By changing my personal energy field "I'm attempting to change the energy field of this room "and perhaps that energy shift will shift the energy of the world.
" Good for her.
So, Pastis for lunch? When I was working in the galleries performance art was more theater than installation.
She's moved it to the next level.
Well, girlfriend needs to move a comb through her hair.
She has company.
There's a man over there staring at me.
- Where? - Over there.
He's not there.
Can you tell Circe that Charlotte from his gallery on Spring Street sends her very best? Okay, that's him again.
Oh, my God.
That's Aleksandr Petrovsky, the artist.
He is the Thank you very much.
- Would you like to keep it? - No.
- Excuse me, Mr.
Petrovsky.
- Yes? I don't mean to bother you, but I just have to say thank you.
When I first moved to New York and was working in the galleries your Abstract No.
1 was my first important sale.
This is such a thrill.
I mean, you defined the '70s in terms of progressive And what did you think about this work today? Very moving.
Significant.
And what do you think? It was good.
But you thought it was funny.
I heard you laugh.
I'm not very arty.
You don't think it's significant? Please.
There are depressed women all over New York doing the exact same thing as her and not calling it art.
Put a phone up on that platform and it's just a typical Friday night waiting for some guy to call.
She's kidding.
Frankly, I don't buy the whole 24 hours-not-eating thing.
I bet if anyone bothered to come down here at 3:00 a.
M she wouldn't even be up there.
She'd be round the corner having a Big Mac.
Why do you think she has the knife ladders? To keep her from running out for a snack.
- And who are you? - What do you mean? Your name? - Carrie Bradshaw.
- You are a comic.
I'm Charlotte York.
I mean, Goldenblatt.
I forgot my married name.
I just got married, so I Can I just say again how very, very important your work is.
Oh, my God.
We just met Aleksandr Petrovsky.
"You are a comic.
" That night, over at New Couple Central Hot pizza, and in less than 30 minutes.
I think I missed my calling.
You just pass by me without a kiss? I had to wait till I could use my hands.
See? What's with the little pizza box? One is a pizza, the other is a surprise for you after the pizza.
- After.
- I love surprises.
What are we drinking? Wine? What? One of my guys busted his knee.
I have to go to the hospital.
What are 6' 8" pro basketball stars doing on a skateboard? I don't know.
Don't wait up.
I'll see you tomorrow.
All right, then.
Good night, beautiful.
There they were.
The sweetest words you could ever say in the sweetest way you could ever say them.
Turns out Miranda didn't like surprises as much as she thought.
Last night Robert said, "I love you.
" Wow! That's wonderful.
On a cookie.
I need more information.
He brought it over, I guess, as a surprise.
But before we got to it he had to leave and then I panicked and ate the entire thing.
Because? If it wasn't there, I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Now, was it the fact that he said it on a cookie or that he said it, period? It had to be the cookie.
Robert is great.
Right? I didn't wanna be the one to have to tell you this about him but he's perfect.
I'm sorry.
If your best friend can't tell you, who will? He is perfect.
Really.
You should see how cute he is helping plan Brady's birthday party.
Brady is one year old.
And yet I haven't aged a day.
Saturday afternoon, my house.
Just us, some of Steve's family.
I'm not coming if there's a clown.
- No clown.
- Good.
Nothing's scarier than a clown.
We're gonna be four.
Thanks.
What are you getting? Yes, I need glasses, and I'm not ashamed.
I have a sexy young man who loves to fuck me, and I'm fabulous.
Have you considered putting that on a T-shirt? Are those the kind you get at the drugstore, next to the Bengay? How dare you! These are Chanel.
Have you ever heard of that artist, Aleksandr Petrovsky? - Who? - Aleksandr Petrovsky? Oh, my God.
He was the number one hot guy at Studio 54.
Dated every top supermodel in the '70s.
My nipples are getting hard just thinking about him.
- Why? - I met him yesterday.
No! How did he look? Is he still gorgeous? We need more time.
Where did you meet? What's he like? We met at a gallery and he was odd.
How old is he now? Let me see.
When I was 22, he was about 30.
Studio 54 was '79, so that would make him, what? - Fifty-three.
- And that would make you I'm forty-fucking-five.
I have nothing to hide.
Hello.
- What? - I'm pregnant.
Congratulations! Oh, my God.
It's very early, but I am.
I just heard from the doctor.
We don't know if it's the acupuncture or all the herbs that I've been taking or maybe Harry and I are just a better fit, or whatever.
But I'm pregnant.
- How far along are you? - About three weeks.
Please excuse me.
- What was that? - I'm growing it out.
My hair down there.
Smith enjoys a full bush.
Isn't this great? Everything is exactly like it always is.
But I'm pregnant.
One lazy Wednesday afternoon later Hello? Hello.
Good afternoon.
Wrong number.
Sorry.
- Hello? - I'm sorry.
Yes, I'm sorry, too.
Wrong number.
Yes? I'm afraid it's me again.
I have really a bit of trouble here.
Sir, I cannot understand you.
This is Aleksandr Petrovsky calling for Carrie Bradshaw.
I'll get her, hold on.
Carrie! Hello? That was you before, yes? Sounded just like you.
No, that was my sister.
- She's visiting.
- That's nice.
I hope you don't mind me calling you.
I got this number from the friend of yours who knows the girl who works at the gallery at Circe.
I hope it's okay.
Okay? Are you still laughing at that artist? Excuse me? Saying that she eats all night Big Macs.
- I'm sticking to my guns.
- I thought you would.
So let's go see her at 3:00 a.
m.
To be sure.
How's Saturday for you? You're not serious.
I am serious, she is serious.
You're the one who is not serious.
You're expecting me to get out of bed and go meet you at some art gallery at 3:00 a.
m.
? Not 3:00.
Let's say 1:00.
We'll have dinner first.
At the Russian Samovar.
I'm not getting sold into white slavery, am I? I don't know what this means.
It was a joke.
Okay, comic.
Goodbye.
- Hello, again.
- Harry.
- It's Harry.
- Harry, hi.
What's wrong? - What happened? - It just, you know, went away.
Doctor says it happens all the time.
- How is she? - Not good.
She's just been sitting and staring since this morning.
She didn't want me to call anybody, but I thought You did the right thing.
She's in the living room.
I told her you were coming.
How are you? You know This is awful.
I'm so sorry.
The doctor said the good news is we got pregnant.
He said lots of women miscarry and go on to have perfectly healthy kids.
It's true.
Shall I get you some mint tea? How about that? I can't go to Brady's party on Saturday.
Okay, she'll understand.
Napkins, cups.
- Party favors.
- Done.
On Saturday, all Steve has to do is bring the cake.
- What kind? - Chocolate with white icing.
Baby's first sugar.
Look out.
You like chocolate, don't you? Were you ever gonna mention anything about the cookie? You know what? Yes, I was.
If you'd give me a minute.
It was five days ago.
I'm embarrassed.
I ate the whole thing.
- It was delicious.
- Good.
What about what it said? Sweet! So sweet! I love you, Jules.
I love you, Mimi.
I've loved you ever since I first saw you.
It feels so right to finally say it.
I don't have to hold the words back anymore.
I love you, Jules.
I love you.
- Hello? - I am so fucked up.
We need to divide and conquer.
What's going on? I can't say, "I love you.
" I just can't.
It's not in my DNA.
And everywhere I look it is just flying out of people's mouths.
- Whose mouths is it flying out of? - Everyone.
- Jules and Mimi.
- They're fictional.
But they say it.
Robert said it.
He said it on a cookie.
I am so fucked up.
Robert asked about the cookie, and it was the perfect time to say it.
And I couldn't.
He was just hanging there waiting, and I couldn't.
I am never gonna be happy.
Just not gonna happen for me.
Do you love him? How can I love him if I can't even say the words? I always thought that when the right guy came along all of my bullshit would calm down and go away and the words would just fall out of my mouth because I would know he was the one.
And here he is.
The perfect guy.
And I Is he the one? I don't know.
Because I am so fucked up.
And I am gonna ruin my life.
Stop.
It's too late to ruin your life.
The only thing you're going to ruin tonight is your night and mine.
I was kidding.
I'm laughing on the inside.
Okay, listen.
Get a good night's sleep see how you feel tomorrow turn off Jules and Mimi, and go to bed.
- You've seen enough love for one night.
- You're right.
You know what used to make me feel better? Cookies.
- Good night.
- Good night.
I blame Valentine's Day.
Hundreds upon hundreds of cards, all decreeing, "You're the one.
" Just imagine the hundreds and hundreds of wrenching late-night phone calls all over this one idea.
And it's not just with love.
It seems we're always looking for that one thing to make our lives complete.
That job, that chance, that family.
I couldn't help but wonder.
' When will waiting for the one be done? Samantha was never a woman who looked for the one.
But today, she found one.
A gray one.
She figured a box in the hand was better than one in the bush.
Turns out, left on too long Nice and Simple was not so nice.
Here we go.
Happy birthday.
Hey, birthday boy! How are you? Who got the clown? - I did! - Hey, Ma! I got my grandson a clown.
The kids will love it.
Brady is the only kid.
Well, I paid him.
He can open the door or something.
Put that cake somewhere cool, where it won't get knocked over.
Laundry room.
And tell the clown to open the door.
I hope you're not insulted.
I brought my own beer.
Not at all.
- Hi, Ma! - Debbie! There's my Debbie! Miranda, the baby looks so cute.
- Thanks.
- God bless him.
You want a beer? Sure.
Did you see my clown? - Thanks for coming.
- Of course.
- How is she? - The same.
Just stares at the TV.
She said she wasn't strong enough to come.
- I don't know what to do.
- She'll be okay.
She just has to feel it.
- Come on, there's food.
- Good.
This is the story of Elizabeth Taylor.
The E! True Hollywood Story.
We'll give you an exclusive revealing look at one of Hollywood's greatest treasures a talented and courageous woman who is, above all, a survivor.
- There you are.
- I was told there'd be no clowns.
Nothing's scarier than a clown.
I need to talk to you in private.
It'll have to wait till I get something to eat.
- I'm starving.
- Here.
Come.
Okay.
What is so important that it couldn't wait? I found a gray hair.
- In the food? - In my hair.
Down there.
What am I going to do? It's a disaster.
It's not a disaster.
It's all part of getting older.
- You said that yourself.
- My eyes getting old is one thing.
But this cannot get old.
What will Smith think? Smith is well aware of the fact that you're older.
Older, not old.
And this is old.
No man wants to fuck grandma's pussy.
God, this is a child's birthday party.
I was going to tweeze, but if you pluck it six more will come to its funeral.
Well, that's what they say.
- Bye.
- Stop.
Please.
I'm not telling you the whole story.
- It gets worse? - I dyed it.
And I left it on too long.
And it's the wrong color.
You have 10 seconds, and then I'm leaving.
- Ten, nine - It's red! And when Smith sees it I'll have to explain why it's red.
- Five, four, three - You don't get the magnitude of this.
two, one! - I'm Bozo the Bush! Turns out there is something scarier than a clown.
Elizabeth endured a difficult tracheotomy operation hovering near death for three days.
Elizabeth Taylor's story is an epic and an inspiration.
Now is the time for guts and guile.
This is the story of one of - Everything's so nice, Miranda.
- Thanks.
I'm real glad everything worked out.
You and Robert, me and Steve.
Because I really love him.
There's my girl.
I got my pipes all warmed up to sing.
- Now where's that cake? - I'll get it.
You okay? Hold on.
Forget those wimpy little ones.
Wait till you see what I've got here.
Look at that.
I love you, Steve.
I'm sorry, I should never have said that.
It's just that I love you and I fucked everything up, and now it's too late.
I'm sorry I'm doing this.
I'm sorry.
Please don't look at me.
I love you, too.
You do? I mean, come on.
What about Debbie? I know, but Miranda, you're the one.
We're getting the candle! Hello.
Where is cake? Will you look at the candle that Steve brought? Look at the candle.
Make a wish, Brady.
Did you make a wish? Give me a kiss.
Three weeks later Miranda and Steve got their wish.
They were back together.
From a one-year-old's birthday party to a 1.
'00 a.
m.
Dinner party.
Hi.
I'm here to meet Aleksandr Petrovsky.
Upstairs.
Good evening.
Don't you mean good morning? You look lovely.
- I'm just wearing my pajamas.
- You know, you're late.
- It's 1:03.
- Sorry, I don't wear a watch.
How did you ever know your time? I find that someone will always tell me.
It's very Red downstairs.
Sadly, it's what's expected of Russia.
So what's all this? Potatoes with little dill, herring beet salad, more red veal in aspic.
What exactly is aspic? Kind of a meat Jell-O? Try it.
It's yummy.
Do you always eat this late at night? I usually work all night.
For me it's not late.
- You work all night painting? - Painting, sculpture, whatever.
I have a bit of an art question.
- As you know, Alexander - Aleksandr.
Say "Alek.
" Call me Bob.
So, I'm a writer.
I write a column for a newspaper.
Congratulations.
Drink? - What are you drinking? - Water.
In that case I'll have a vodka martini, please.
Thank you.
Well, Bob this is the latest I've been up in quite a while.
I even had to take a little disco nap.
Remember those? My spies told me you were quite the regular at Studio 54.
That must have been an amazing time.
Why don't you tell me about that? What is there to remember? Martha Graham's face, Andy Warhol's wig.
That's about it.
I rarely think about the past, but I care about what can happen today.
Tonight.
What may happen tomorrow.
Yes? I have something to show you, and I don't want you to freak out.
Oh, man.
- Where did it all go? - I shaved.
Bummer.
Look, I know you enjoy a full bush.
But there's something I should tell you.
There is one moment in every relationship where you risk letting someone know the real you.
I'm a working woman and I don't have time for you to be down there searching for it.
So I wanted to make everything nice and simple.
This was not that moment.
- How long have you lived in New York? - A long time.
Off and on Paris, London, and a few other places.
- I like New York.
It's honest.
- Honest? There's no big smile on its face.
It's dark, painful I like it.
Okay, you are way too Russian.
You'd get a girl out of bed to tell her you like pain? It's 2:00 a.
m.
Lighten up, Bob.
Don't you know any jokes? - More meat? - Fruit and tea.
We sweeten our tea with black cherries.
It's good.
Try it.
You'll like it.
- Fruit? - I'm not really a fruit person.
Take a banana.
Put it in your purse for breakfast.
I insist.
There is a banana in your purse, or are you just very happy to see me? You asked for a joke.
At exactly 3:01 we pulled up in front of the gallery to see if art was alive and awake.
- My purse, I left it in the cab.
- Taxi! Wait! Don't go! Wait a minute! Here we go.
Do you want to give her a banana? Of all my odd dates, this was number one.
Taxi! Hi.
Where do you go? Where do you wanna go? Where is he going? I asked him to wait so we could have proper good night.
- Thanks for dinner.
- You're welcome.
I live right near here.
- I thought you lived way downtown.
- That is near.
You can take the boy out of Studio 54 but you can't take Studio 54 out of the boy.
You are funny.
Light.
So not tonight? And he tasted like black cherries.
part of the [RL.]
Crew
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