Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s01e11 Episode Script

Mewnipendance Day; The Banagic Incident

1 [title music plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! [distant chattering.]
[clank.]
[clearing throat.]
Okay, quiet, everyone.
- Quiet!! Quiet.
- Oh.
I assume you all brought your swords.
- Uh what? - It said on the invitation you're supposed to bring a sword.
I was a little confused by your invitation.
I'm not confused.
This is clearly a drawing of meat.
I came for the meat.
I think everyone's just wondering why they're here.
Uh, it's the 37th of Grovnok.
Mewnipendence Day? [Ferguson coughs.]
[frustrated groan.]
Mewnipendence Day.
Along time ago arrived the first settlers of Mewni.
[boat noises.]
A modest people with noble pursuits life, liberty, and corn.
But the wicked monsters rose up and attacked the innocent Mewnans to re-steal Mewni for themselves.
So the queen used her magic to turn the simple peasants into a fearsome army.
And then there was fighting.
fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting.
And the Mewnans won.
Ta-da! [imitating fireworks exploding.]
Wait.
But you just blew past all the important parts.
- When do we eat? - We feast after we re-enact the great monster massacre! Now please split into two teams monsters and Mewnans.
- Can I be a human? - You are a monster.
- That's why you were invited.
- Why do I always get picked to - I wanna be a Mewman.
- I wanna be a Mewman.
[all chattering.]
- You get to be my general.
- Thanks.
Lookin' pretty good.
Now we can begin making costumes, and after that, the blood battle can commence.
- Yes, Marco? - What's that? Oh, that's just an all-seeing eye.
- It follows you around all day.
- It's staring at me.
Don't worry, it's just to remind the monsters that the royal family is always watching.
It's not actually watching you, though.
[laughs.]
That would be weird.
This is amazing! She thinks it's the all-seeing eye, but it's not.
It is the most efficient way to spy on your enemies.
[giggling.]
I can see her pores.
- What secrets lie beneath? - Ludo, Master.
Yeah, yeah, yeah [makes kissing noises.]
Look at this.
Now we can watch Star wherever she goes.
In the kitchen, bedroom, even in the bathroom.
Uh sir? Maybe we don't keep the bathroom channel.
But Ludo, this eye only has one eye.
My face has two.
That's twice the number of the eyes.
Now that you don't have any spy stuff to do, you should get us some popcorn and milkshakes.
I'm pretty sure we're gonna binge-watch this baby all night.
You can join us if you want, as long as you keep quiet and sit in the back.
[chuckles.]
She doesn't even know we're watching her.
Sometimes your biggest threat is right under your nose.
- My nose is in my beak.
- Mm-hmm.
[straining.]
There.
That'll keep your entrails from becoming your out-trails.
My pillow.
Hey, Star, I've been looking through your Hold on.
I've been looking through your book, and, uh, something seems off.
What do you mean? Let me see.
Hmm.
[gasps.]
Oh, okay.
Wow, you're right, Marco.
I can't believe I didn't notice that before.
Sharper, sharper, stabbier, and you need to be on a Warnicorn.
And now, for the monsters.
- Hey, what do we get? - Hello.
You're monsters.
Use your claws.
[growling.]
Star, I know the monsters are bad and all, - but this seems unfair.
- Unfair? [groaning, panting.]
Do something.
He's writhing in pain.
Oh, never mind.
He stopped.
- Mom.
- Owie.
Comrades, it's beginning.
Toffee replaced me with electronic eye.
- Uh, we don't care.
- But you should! Pretty soon, Toffee will replace you with electronic ice cream cone, and you with another electronic ice cream cone.
And you with What is it you do exactly? Um, there's two of us, so maybe that's a thing.
Are you finished? Gentlemen, Gentlemen, allow me to direct your attention to our new direct surveillance device.
Princess Butterfly is re-enacting our favorite holiday, - the great monster massacre.
- My least favorite holiday.
Don't worry, we can take advantage of this opportunity.
Why send an army after the wand when it can be hand delivered? [gasps.]
Oh, isn't that a thing thing? And it's not like she's going to notice a real monster.
- [chuckles.]
Those aren't real? - Okay.
Now, who'd like to bring Ludo his wand? [all mumbling.]
I will go.
I thought you might, you fat bag of garbage.
- I'm so sorry, Ferguson.
- Come on! Hey, Star, everything's set up.
We'll get started whenever you give the signal.
- Or not, and we can just go eat.
- No, it's okay.
- It It'll be fun.
- Okay.
Here we go.
Knights of Mewni, take up your stabby weapons, and drive out the evil monsters! ALL: Wow! [battle cries.]
I can't do this.
Make me invisible.
- I'm so sorry, Ferguson.
- Come on! Careful.
What a massacre.
Please don't hurt me.
Aah! [laughs.]
- Wha? - Whaa? [stammering.]
[gasping.]
Come on.
Come on.
What is he doing? Ferguson? Ferguson! I am so sorry.
Marco was right, this is unfair.
Ferguson, are you okay? I'm fine.
I'm just invisible.
[gasps.]
[panting.]
All right, let's go eat some corn.
ALFONZO: Yeah, I need to sit down for a few days.
What a disgrace.
This is what you get when you hire people from the swamp.
Let's watch again.
I'm telling you, this thing, it didn't work! - It works fine for me.
- He sabotaged it.
I rescued you from a life in the swamp.
I took you in, I gave you pants, and this is what you do to repay wait a minute.
- Where are your pants? - Uh, well Oh, get real! You've brought shame on this house.
Now go to your room! I don't know what to do about that one.
I mean, should I take away his milkshake privileges? Seriously? This was idiot-proof.
I think you know what you have to do.
Uh No, wait.
Nooo! Well, that was pretty hardcore.
You did what had to be done.
[chattering.]
- Um, are you sure this is accurate? - You know what? I think it's time we just put the book away.
Okay.
No.
No.
Nope.
Reading in the tub is not a sure-fire fun way to spice up a dull day.
Hmm.
Today might be the day I face my biggest fear.
Boredom.
Maybe today's the day I renounce my vow to never have a dull day! Today I will look boredom in its eyes, those beady little black eyes, like tiny little black fists.
I'll look into those eyes and I will say Oh, wait, never mind.
What's this? Oh! The banagic wand.
"Earth's coolest magical treat.
" [gasps.]
Earth magic! I swear to baby dolphin giggles, I will find the banagic wand before this day is done or die trying.
Or my name's not Star Butterfly.
As me as my witness, I'll never go bored again! And anything else I'm supposed to say to make this official.
Whoo-hoo! I don't know where I'm going.
Hmmm.
Ah, "as featured on TV.
" But I saw it in this magazine.
Mmm.
Aha! A riddle.
[laughs.]
But I'm terrible at riddles.
Need Marco! [inhaling deeply.]
- Marco! - Ah! [grunts.]
- Earth magic.
Look.
- That thing from TV? [gasps.]
You've seen it? Yeah.
It's one of those late night commercials.
So it does exist.
To the TV! I can't.
I've gotta get to my karate class.
Your new kidney came from a werewolf.
Glitter Grenade Rewind.
- It's so hot.
- And I'm so bored.
What are they gonna do? It's a little bit of banana, and a little lot of magic.
Designed by leading freeze-ologists, the banagic wand uses state-of-the-art molecular ice-stronomy to frostulate your sizzle zones and - Mmm.
- I'm totally chilled out.
There's enough banagic fun for all my friends to enjoy.
[all exclaiming happily.]
[gasps.]
Friendship magic.
Available at Better Stores near you.
Better Stores? Supplies are limited.
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! [screamns.]
[grunts.]
I can't.
I have karate.
Today we're learning how to channel our emotions.
To a Better Store near us! Did you hear anything I just said? [humming.]
A little bit of banana, a little lot of magic Star, I can't go now.
And I'm not sure you have a firm enough grasp on Earth culture to go on your own.
Hey, get out of yard box, you scoundrel! Hide your dragon eggs somewhere else.
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's go.
[groans.]
Marco, we're not moving.
You push these little thingies with your feet.
Honestly, Marco, sometimes I wonder if you have a firm grasp on this Earth stuff.
Oh, too slow.
Bunny Rocket Blast! Karate class? Marco, we don't have time for detours.
The commercial said we have to hurry while supplies last.
Focus on the quest.
This is where I'm going.
Karate.
- I am not going with you.
- [gasps.]
Dear, sweet Marco.
I commend him for making it this far on the journey, and vow to complete the quest in his honor.
Good-bye, sweet Marco.
[music playing.]
The store is guarded by a werewolf.
I wish you no harm, werewolf.
All I seek is the banagic wand.
- Is this a Better Store? - Uh, better than what? [frustrated groan.]
More riddles.
I wish Marco was still with us.
You must learn to channel what is deep inside you.
Diaz, name an emotion! - Uh, hunger.
- Channel your hunger, Diaz.
Channel your emotions to brave the gauntlet of fire! Wait, we're gonna walk on those? [evil laughter.]
[door bell rings.]
Uh, that one's okay.
but there's a Better Store down on Main and Riverside.
A Better Store near me.
There's a Better Store on Main and Riverside? - Yeah.
- Whoo-hoo! Which way is Main and Riverside? Aha! Diaz, approach! Classic Marco.
Writhing in agony.
[growls.]
Okay, I'm on Main Street.
Now, where is Riverside? [gasps.]
A river and its side! I found it! Like I knew I would.
[gasps.]
Ahoy, matey.
- Pirates.
- That's what we arrgh.
Now come with me to Davey Jones' fish locker.
Okay, pirate.
I am at your mercy, for I am but your helpless prisoner.
Not true.
I'm a powerful princess from another dimension, and I'm gonna get us all out of here.
Freedom is nigh! Arrgh, ma'am? Surrender, pirates! Huh? Stay back, you bloodthirsty savages! - Tiara Tornado! - Enough! Do you surrender, pirate? We aren't pirates.
This is a pirate-themed restaurant! [nervous giggle.]
Do you know where I can find a Better Store? [screaming.]
[gasps.]
A Better Store.
MAN: There she is! Can I borrow this? Thanks so much.
- Bye.
- My baby's in there! Oh, no, there he is.
[all yelling.]
Oh, no! Starlight Foot Smash! Miranda, I swear, if you wear fuzzy boots to my party, I will break your feet off.
- What the - Oh! Brittany, you've gotta help me.
There's an angry mob after me.
Could you throw 'em off my trail? Tell them I went that way? Thanks.
Bye! She went in there.
JEREMY: And here we have Marco Diaz approaching the gauntlet of fire.
It's been a tough 14 years for Diaz.
No girlfriend, can't seem to get past green belt.
That history of failure must be suffocating him right now.
Jeremy, get out of here! I'm trying to channel my emotions.
[camera clicks.]
- Fail, fail, fail.
- Enough!! You little twerp.
Diaz, wait! - Huh? - You did it! [laughs.]
I did it.
I understand now, sensei.
Diaz.
- This was all a part - Diaz.
- You had Jeremy act - Diaz! Foot fire, buddy.
[screams.]
[shivering.]
They're magnificent, aren't they? You! Time to pay for what you've done.
- Are they talking to you? - Mm-hmm.
Wreck my store? I'll show you.
Okay, you guys need to chill out.
[gasps.]
The banagic wand.
A little bit of banana, a little lot of magic Designed by leading freeze-ologists, the banagic wand uses state-of-the-art molecular ice-stronomy to frostulate your sizzle zones and chill you out!! Star, I'm back.
You still wanna go huh? Hey, Marco.
I conquered my boredom.
[all cheering.]
- Hey.
- Here.
I went downtown by myself.
- I know.
I was there.
- It was way easy.
I guess you could say I've totally mastered Earth.
- Sorry I underestimated you.
- You underestimated me? Uh yeah.
I did.
Sorry.
This stuff looks delicious though.
- Why did you - There was a fly on it.
[music.]
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home
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