Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s01e13 Episode Script
Storm The Castle
1 [title music plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! Some of these have sandwiches in them.
Oh, don't put your hand in there.
[straining.]
Are you sure this is safe? I never said that.
Come on, Marco, you try.
- Uh no.
- Suit yourself.
[screams.]
Huh? I gotcha, I gotcha.
- Huh? - Ah.
[rumbling.]
[yawns.]
[screaming.]
Let me just Star, we better get out Star! [mumbling.]
We gotta get outta here.
- Star, pay attention.
- Just a little closer.
[growling.]
I had it in my hands, Marco.
- I have no idea what you were thinking.
- I was thinking of not dying.
[screaming.]
We went through all that trouble, and this sad little scrap of sandwich is all we have to show for it.
That's because it's not worth dying for a stupid piece of food.
- I'm going to my room.
- I hate when you act like this.
It makes me wonder why we're even friends.
Ugh! Where did all these flies come from? [sighs.]
[muffled scream.]
[snoring.]
Don't call me butterfly.
So good.
[sighs.]
Marco.
I'm sorry.
I was a jerk.
It's just I really wanted you to try this sandwich.
It's kinda smashed and dirty, but it's still delicious.
Marco? Hm.
No Marco.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz.
Uh, what are you guys doing? [giggling.]
Oh, Star, we were just looking at Rafael's old book of medical illustrations.
Weird.
Hey, have you guys seen Marco? I think he went to walk the laser puppies.
- Try calling his cellular phone.
- Oh, yeah.
Good idea.
[gasps.]
The call is coming from inside the house.
Marco? There you are.
What's up with everyone hanging out in the dark like a bunch of weird-y weirds? [gasping.]
Uh, Marco, where'd you put your legs? [gasps.]
What have you done with Marco? If you ever want to see the boy alive again, bring the wand to Ludo's castle tonight.
And come alone.
[laughing.]
Kids! You're never going to believe.
The telephone punched me in the face.
[laughs.]
- Did you find Marco? - Uh And the little fly man was all, like, [strange accent.]
If you ever want to see Marco alive again I just sounded Irish; okay, he wasn't Irish.
Write that down.
The thing is, Ludo's been after my wand ever since I got here.
He's never gonna get it; it's, like, my birthright, from a ba-jillion generations ago, starting with my great-great great-great-great-great - Do you like magic, little girl? - Uh, I guess? Oh! Me, too.
Heck, I used to go to Vegas every weekend all for magic.
The thing about magic is, if you don't use it wisely, you can lose everything.
Anywho, not much I can do for you.
If he's not back tomorrow, we'll send the bloodhounds for him.
- I told you he wouldn't get it.
- Well, we don't get it either.
[sighs.]
Look, this isn't your fault, Star.
If anything, we should've been paying more attention - to the two of you.
- I can get Marco back from Ludo.
Great.
We'll take the minivan.
No, a little fly said to me to come alone.
- Hey - You're wrong, by the way.
This is my fault.
I'll take care of it myself.
Oh, Star, come on, don't be like that.
Forgot my scissors.
Oh, why bother? What the [clears throat.]
Why you bother knocking when you just walked through my living room? - I'm sorry! - Go away.
- I just wanna talk, Buff Frog.
- Buff Frog not even my name.
Really? Is it - Butt Frog? - No, it's not Butt Frog.
- Is it Chad? - My name is Yvgeny Bulgoyaboff.
Oh.
So you're foreign.
- What do you want? - Okay.
At least let me buy back your friendship.
You're going to love it.
Quiet.
Fine.
Door is open.
You're not even going to open it? BOTH: Huh? [gasps.]
Wait.
Was that Huh? No.
Marco! Tadpoles? Ugh.
- Tadpoles? - Where are my flip-flops? - Oh.
Nevermind.
- Where's Marco? I don't even know who that is! She's talking about Karate Boy.
Please, no more laser beam.
I swear, I have no idea where your friend is.
Then why did you summon me to your castle? - It is no longer his castle.
- [sniffs.]
He's right.
It's Toffee's castle now.
Toffee? I have no idea who that is [babbling baby talk.]
- Ludo gave me babies.
- Okay, I'm done.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait! - Ludo.
I wanted to say thank you for giving me the gift of fatherhood.
That wasn't a gift, you ding-a-ling.
It was a bribe.
You see, the plan was, I'd buy your friendship with gifts because we're friends, and in return, you'd kick Toffee out of the castle for me because we're friends.
[laughing.]
But then, Star showed up, and I don't need you anymore, you big old meatball.
[Marco groans.]
Well, looks like I've had all the fun I can have in here.
Oh, wait.
Now I'm done.
All right, you got me here.
What do you want with me? - What? - Tell him what you're gonna do to him.
- Wait till you hear this.
[laughs.]
- Do you mind? [angry buzzing.]
Look, if you're after the wand, it's harder to get than you think.
Lots of people have tried.
Eat something.
Could be your last meal.
Actually, I'm totally full.
But if you're hungry, I'm a great cook, so why don't you let me out of this chair - and I'll give you a taste.
- Okay.
There's two of you? - You really should eat.
- I don't want your stinking sandwich! - You're a disappointment.
- Yeah? Well, you're boring.
And you dress like a lawyer.
At least that idiot came dressed for a good time.
Good luck gettin' in there! Uh, there are keys in the door.
- That's obviously part of Toffee's plan.
- Looks like these are yours.
Those aren't mine.
Wait, wait, wait! You have no idea [panting.]
how powerful Toffee is.
What you need is the element of surprise.
Lucky for you, I know this castle like the back of my hand.
- Oh.
- I sneak us into the castle, and you blast Toffee in the face.
- [malicious giggle.]
It's the circle of life.
- What are you talking about? So what do you say? Do we have a deal? I'm not gonna touch the hand with the mole on it.
- Fine.
- Actually, I don't wanna touch any of your skin with my skin.
Don't trust him.
I will guide you.
- I don't really trust you either.
- I am father now.
I would like my children to grow up inside castle.
You don't have to trust me.
But consider alternative.
[muttering in foreign language.
.]
- Let's go.
- [giggling.]
Out of the way.
Whoa, whoa.
Before you go inside, I must tell you, Toffee is not like Ludo.
He knows about you, and he does not like your magic.
Oh, yeah? Well, I don't like his uh - Uh - You need to have plan! - What did I say about the pillows? - I just I don't need pillows on my chair.
I'm an adult.
Okay.
No.
Marco! Here's the plan.
- We're going in on the count of one.
- Uh.
That is not good plan.
- One.
- No, wait.
Stop.
Chad, wait.
Now is our chance to get the wand.
[scoffs.]
You made it.
Supersonic supersonic leech bomb.
What? Oh, hey, Buff Frog [hit.]
[chainsaw whirrs.]
[yelling.]
[blows.]
No.
[gasps.]
Marco! - Star! - We did it! Ha, sorry.
I was just excited.
Come on, come on, let's get outta here.
Oh, no.
[struggling.]
Stop.
That's no way to treat our guest of honor.
[both gasp.]
No, no, no, no! [straining.]
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! That's not going to work again.
That crystal's twice as strong now.
[buzzing.]
Don't worry, Star.
I think I got it.
Fine.
Take it.
Now let Marco go.
[laughing.]
Help, help, help, help! Do you think I'm like Ludo? Just swallow it.
I don't want your wand.
- Destroy it.
- Whaaaa?! - Surprise! - I can't.
I don't even know how.
Yes, you do.
It's the first spell your mother taught you.
The whispering spell.
Exactly.
Marco's waiting.
Star.
I'm sorry.
[whispering.]
[whispering continues.]
[music.]
[whispering.]
[gasps.]
Now let Marco go.
[snaps fingers.]
Star Oh.
- Run.
- Whoa! Oh.
My babies.
- Okay, you really gotta stop shoving me.
- It's not over.
[music.]
Gentlemen.
It's been a pleasure [clucks.]
- Lawyers.
- Look.
Nature.
BOTH: Eww! - Where's my castle? - It's gone.
- And where is your wand? - That's gone, too.
Everything? We are no longer friends! We never were friends.
You are now my mortal enemy.
This day I vow Huh? [speaking Italian.]
[loud rumbling.]
[music.]
- Whoa! - Upgrade.
Oh, Marco, I am so happy to see you! [laughs.]
- Uh, do I know you? - Marco, it is me.
I am your dad.
My dad! Ooh, ooh, my turn.
Come here oh ah! I'm goin' down.
Just come here and hug your mother.
This is so awkward, Mom.
It's not awkward.
Don't make it awkward.
Wait.
How did you guys get here? They used your mirror.
[whistling.]
S-S-S-So, basically, just to recap - You're not going to do that, are you? - What, my dear? You know that thing when you talk and every time you get to a word with an "S," you have that little whistle in your front teeth.
[whistles.]
I love you, honey.
I just can't deal with that today.
Star, you abused your magic, frightened Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz, and destroyed your wand.
Did I leave anything out? Uh, well, there's a bunch of other stuff - you don't know about.
- Sh! No, I think that's everything.
But look, new wand's fine.
Sort of.
It's, uh I'll take it and get it cleaned for you.
Please don't be mad.
That looks like a mad face.
- So you're not mad.
- Oh, I'm always mad.
But I'm happy that you're safe.
[whinnying.]
Um, Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz, I'm sorry I made you worry.
We're just glad that everyone's okay.
And I'm on a horse! [loud whinnying.]
[screaming.]
MRS.
DIAZ: Oh, okay.
Where are you going? MR.
DIAZ: Don't you ride off with my wife! [shuddering.]
Go ahead.
Mrs.
Diaz, wait up! I don't know if we're doing the right thing, River.
Darling.
Glossarick.
Hello! Stop yelling.
I was in the tub my lady.
- We can call back.
- No, it's fine.
I'm just doing a little gardening.
[gasps.]
What happened there? We fear that the wand has been cleaved.
Cleaved? Now that's a funny word.
You can cleave something apart, or you can cleave something together.
- Glossarick.
- If I go like this, with both my arms, down goes my bath towel, cleaved from my body.
[clearing throat.]
Glossarick.
Towel, please.
No problem, Your Highness.
I hope you found all the pieces of the wand.
[sound.]
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! Some of these have sandwiches in them.
Oh, don't put your hand in there.
[straining.]
Are you sure this is safe? I never said that.
Come on, Marco, you try.
- Uh no.
- Suit yourself.
[screams.]
Huh? I gotcha, I gotcha.
- Huh? - Ah.
[rumbling.]
[yawns.]
[screaming.]
Let me just Star, we better get out Star! [mumbling.]
We gotta get outta here.
- Star, pay attention.
- Just a little closer.
[growling.]
I had it in my hands, Marco.
- I have no idea what you were thinking.
- I was thinking of not dying.
[screaming.]
We went through all that trouble, and this sad little scrap of sandwich is all we have to show for it.
That's because it's not worth dying for a stupid piece of food.
- I'm going to my room.
- I hate when you act like this.
It makes me wonder why we're even friends.
Ugh! Where did all these flies come from? [sighs.]
[muffled scream.]
[snoring.]
Don't call me butterfly.
So good.
[sighs.]
Marco.
I'm sorry.
I was a jerk.
It's just I really wanted you to try this sandwich.
It's kinda smashed and dirty, but it's still delicious.
Marco? Hm.
No Marco.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz.
Uh, what are you guys doing? [giggling.]
Oh, Star, we were just looking at Rafael's old book of medical illustrations.
Weird.
Hey, have you guys seen Marco? I think he went to walk the laser puppies.
- Try calling his cellular phone.
- Oh, yeah.
Good idea.
[gasps.]
The call is coming from inside the house.
Marco? There you are.
What's up with everyone hanging out in the dark like a bunch of weird-y weirds? [gasping.]
Uh, Marco, where'd you put your legs? [gasps.]
What have you done with Marco? If you ever want to see the boy alive again, bring the wand to Ludo's castle tonight.
And come alone.
[laughing.]
Kids! You're never going to believe.
The telephone punched me in the face.
[laughs.]
- Did you find Marco? - Uh And the little fly man was all, like, [strange accent.]
If you ever want to see Marco alive again I just sounded Irish; okay, he wasn't Irish.
Write that down.
The thing is, Ludo's been after my wand ever since I got here.
He's never gonna get it; it's, like, my birthright, from a ba-jillion generations ago, starting with my great-great great-great-great-great - Do you like magic, little girl? - Uh, I guess? Oh! Me, too.
Heck, I used to go to Vegas every weekend all for magic.
The thing about magic is, if you don't use it wisely, you can lose everything.
Anywho, not much I can do for you.
If he's not back tomorrow, we'll send the bloodhounds for him.
- I told you he wouldn't get it.
- Well, we don't get it either.
[sighs.]
Look, this isn't your fault, Star.
If anything, we should've been paying more attention - to the two of you.
- I can get Marco back from Ludo.
Great.
We'll take the minivan.
No, a little fly said to me to come alone.
- Hey - You're wrong, by the way.
This is my fault.
I'll take care of it myself.
Oh, Star, come on, don't be like that.
Forgot my scissors.
Oh, why bother? What the [clears throat.]
Why you bother knocking when you just walked through my living room? - I'm sorry! - Go away.
- I just wanna talk, Buff Frog.
- Buff Frog not even my name.
Really? Is it - Butt Frog? - No, it's not Butt Frog.
- Is it Chad? - My name is Yvgeny Bulgoyaboff.
Oh.
So you're foreign.
- What do you want? - Okay.
At least let me buy back your friendship.
You're going to love it.
Quiet.
Fine.
Door is open.
You're not even going to open it? BOTH: Huh? [gasps.]
Wait.
Was that Huh? No.
Marco! Tadpoles? Ugh.
- Tadpoles? - Where are my flip-flops? - Oh.
Nevermind.
- Where's Marco? I don't even know who that is! She's talking about Karate Boy.
Please, no more laser beam.
I swear, I have no idea where your friend is.
Then why did you summon me to your castle? - It is no longer his castle.
- [sniffs.]
He's right.
It's Toffee's castle now.
Toffee? I have no idea who that is [babbling baby talk.]
- Ludo gave me babies.
- Okay, I'm done.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait! - Ludo.
I wanted to say thank you for giving me the gift of fatherhood.
That wasn't a gift, you ding-a-ling.
It was a bribe.
You see, the plan was, I'd buy your friendship with gifts because we're friends, and in return, you'd kick Toffee out of the castle for me because we're friends.
[laughing.]
But then, Star showed up, and I don't need you anymore, you big old meatball.
[Marco groans.]
Well, looks like I've had all the fun I can have in here.
Oh, wait.
Now I'm done.
All right, you got me here.
What do you want with me? - What? - Tell him what you're gonna do to him.
- Wait till you hear this.
[laughs.]
- Do you mind? [angry buzzing.]
Look, if you're after the wand, it's harder to get than you think.
Lots of people have tried.
Eat something.
Could be your last meal.
Actually, I'm totally full.
But if you're hungry, I'm a great cook, so why don't you let me out of this chair - and I'll give you a taste.
- Okay.
There's two of you? - You really should eat.
- I don't want your stinking sandwich! - You're a disappointment.
- Yeah? Well, you're boring.
And you dress like a lawyer.
At least that idiot came dressed for a good time.
Good luck gettin' in there! Uh, there are keys in the door.
- That's obviously part of Toffee's plan.
- Looks like these are yours.
Those aren't mine.
Wait, wait, wait! You have no idea [panting.]
how powerful Toffee is.
What you need is the element of surprise.
Lucky for you, I know this castle like the back of my hand.
- Oh.
- I sneak us into the castle, and you blast Toffee in the face.
- [malicious giggle.]
It's the circle of life.
- What are you talking about? So what do you say? Do we have a deal? I'm not gonna touch the hand with the mole on it.
- Fine.
- Actually, I don't wanna touch any of your skin with my skin.
Don't trust him.
I will guide you.
- I don't really trust you either.
- I am father now.
I would like my children to grow up inside castle.
You don't have to trust me.
But consider alternative.
[muttering in foreign language.
.]
- Let's go.
- [giggling.]
Out of the way.
Whoa, whoa.
Before you go inside, I must tell you, Toffee is not like Ludo.
He knows about you, and he does not like your magic.
Oh, yeah? Well, I don't like his uh - Uh - You need to have plan! - What did I say about the pillows? - I just I don't need pillows on my chair.
I'm an adult.
Okay.
No.
Marco! Here's the plan.
- We're going in on the count of one.
- Uh.
That is not good plan.
- One.
- No, wait.
Stop.
Chad, wait.
Now is our chance to get the wand.
[scoffs.]
You made it.
Supersonic supersonic leech bomb.
What? Oh, hey, Buff Frog [hit.]
[chainsaw whirrs.]
[yelling.]
[blows.]
No.
[gasps.]
Marco! - Star! - We did it! Ha, sorry.
I was just excited.
Come on, come on, let's get outta here.
Oh, no.
[struggling.]
Stop.
That's no way to treat our guest of honor.
[both gasp.]
No, no, no, no! [straining.]
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! That's not going to work again.
That crystal's twice as strong now.
[buzzing.]
Don't worry, Star.
I think I got it.
Fine.
Take it.
Now let Marco go.
[laughing.]
Help, help, help, help! Do you think I'm like Ludo? Just swallow it.
I don't want your wand.
- Destroy it.
- Whaaaa?! - Surprise! - I can't.
I don't even know how.
Yes, you do.
It's the first spell your mother taught you.
The whispering spell.
Exactly.
Marco's waiting.
Star.
I'm sorry.
[whispering.]
[whispering continues.]
[music.]
[whispering.]
[gasps.]
Now let Marco go.
[snaps fingers.]
Star Oh.
- Run.
- Whoa! Oh.
My babies.
- Okay, you really gotta stop shoving me.
- It's not over.
[music.]
Gentlemen.
It's been a pleasure [clucks.]
- Lawyers.
- Look.
Nature.
BOTH: Eww! - Where's my castle? - It's gone.
- And where is your wand? - That's gone, too.
Everything? We are no longer friends! We never were friends.
You are now my mortal enemy.
This day I vow Huh? [speaking Italian.]
[loud rumbling.]
[music.]
- Whoa! - Upgrade.
Oh, Marco, I am so happy to see you! [laughs.]
- Uh, do I know you? - Marco, it is me.
I am your dad.
My dad! Ooh, ooh, my turn.
Come here oh ah! I'm goin' down.
Just come here and hug your mother.
This is so awkward, Mom.
It's not awkward.
Don't make it awkward.
Wait.
How did you guys get here? They used your mirror.
[whistling.]
S-S-S-So, basically, just to recap - You're not going to do that, are you? - What, my dear? You know that thing when you talk and every time you get to a word with an "S," you have that little whistle in your front teeth.
[whistles.]
I love you, honey.
I just can't deal with that today.
Star, you abused your magic, frightened Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz, and destroyed your wand.
Did I leave anything out? Uh, well, there's a bunch of other stuff - you don't know about.
- Sh! No, I think that's everything.
But look, new wand's fine.
Sort of.
It's, uh I'll take it and get it cleaned for you.
Please don't be mad.
That looks like a mad face.
- So you're not mad.
- Oh, I'm always mad.
But I'm happy that you're safe.
[whinnying.]
Um, Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz, I'm sorry I made you worry.
We're just glad that everyone's okay.
And I'm on a horse! [loud whinnying.]
[screaming.]
MRS.
DIAZ: Oh, okay.
Where are you going? MR.
DIAZ: Don't you ride off with my wife! [shuddering.]
Go ahead.
Mrs.
Diaz, wait up! I don't know if we're doing the right thing, River.
Darling.
Glossarick.
Hello! Stop yelling.
I was in the tub my lady.
- We can call back.
- No, it's fine.
I'm just doing a little gardening.
[gasps.]
What happened there? We fear that the wand has been cleaved.
Cleaved? Now that's a funny word.
You can cleave something apart, or you can cleave something together.
- Glossarick.
- If I go like this, with both my arms, down goes my bath towel, cleaved from my body.
[clearing throat.]
Glossarick.
Towel, please.
No problem, Your Highness.
I hope you found all the pieces of the wand.
[sound.]
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home