Superstore (2015) Episode Scripts

N/A - Strike

1 I'm having this baby here! Cheyenne, this is unacceptable.
You're suspended with pay.
What you did back there was awesome.
- They let me go.
- They fired Glenn.
So about that walkout? I know you're scared, but rest assured Cloud 9 will be fine without you.
Oh, and have a heavenly day.
[Sighing] [Raspberries] That's what I think of her.
Yeah, she's a fart noise.
- Yeah! - [Raspberries] [All making raspberry sound] Yeah.
Listen, who cares about Dina? - We did it.
- Yeah! - We did it! - [Cheers and applause] So do we just go home now or - All the time, man.
- Yeah? So you heard it too? [Overlapping chatter] Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, please, let me help you with that, okay? - Oh, thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Glenn! - What? What are you doing, man? We're protesting.
Oh, right! Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
I'm I'm Good luck with that.
Oh, my God, what have I done? Okay, I never meant to get involved in a strike.
I just got caught up in the drama.
- This is not a strike.
- Yeah, it is.
What would you call it? A demonstration? [Stammers] An expression of discontentedness? I don't know, we're just here to get Glenn's job back.
Mm, "Noun.
A refusal to work", organized by a body of employees as a form of protest.
" Okay, it doesn't matter what we call it.
Cool, then we'll just call it a strike.
- It's not a strike.
- Guys, should we be concerned that a Cloud 9 corporate car just pulled in? We are screwed.
They just sent an enforcer to drop the hammer on us.
[Car alarm chirps] Dennis, did I put you on go-backs or did I tell you to stand around crying about your dead dog all day? Get in the game.
We're understaffed.
Hi.
Oh, who buys these? Excuse me.
Hi, I'm Jeff Sutton.
I'm the District Manager.
Could I see some ID? Sure.
Just a second.
You photograph terribly.
Never model.
Uh, who are you? Dina Fox, Assistant Manager.
Well, I used to be Assistant Manager.
I had to resign my position in order to pursue a sexual relationship with a subordinate.
Didn't work out.
Not really your business.
Anyway, I've gone ahead and taken my old job back.
Okay, I'm gonna have to let Corporate know about that.
I get it.
You want me to work for it.
Show you I got what it takes.
- Here we go.
- Okay.
How many you want, 50? Hundred? I could for sure do seven.
No, thank you.
No push-ups are necessary today for this.
Maybe just run outside and grab whoever's in charge and ask them to come in for a meeting? Of course.
I mean, that's what an assistant manager does, right? - Yes.
- And for the record, your body would photograph great.
It's just your face that's bad.
- Oh.
- Jump on register one, Jeff.
Oh, hi.
Um [Indistinct chatter] - Excuse me.
- [All boo] Your boos fuel me.
I'm here to talk to the heat.
I assume Amy and I are the heat? District Manager Jeff Sutton wants a meeting.
Okay, yeah.
We'll talk.
Yes! I knew I could get you.
All right, break room, ten minutes.
If you're not there by then well, we'll wait.
Okay, what are our demands? No, we don't have demands.
We just want Glenn's job back.
- Hear, hear.
- And if they say no, we go back to work anyway! Mateo.
Why not try to get more than Glenn's job back, right? I mean, we're already on strike.
We're not on strike.
We're already on expression of discontentedness.
Why not ask for things like like, uh, better health insurance? And we don't get paid for overtime, even when we work overtime.
There you go, Sandra.
Yeah, they should let us vape in the store, right? Well I want Cloud 9 to be closer to my house.
Guys, if we go in there asking for everything, we're gonna get nothing, okay? We need to get Glenn's job back.
[High-pitched] Oh, so just like that and the vaping thing, huh? [Normal voice] Yeah, good idea, madam.
Dougie, we all know that's you.
You're the only one who vapes.
[DJ Khaled's "All I Do is Win [Remix]"] All I do is win, win, win No matter what, what Got money on my mind I can never get enough Whenever me and Khaled do the remix Everybody hands go up Go up And they stay there And they say yeah, yeah And they stay there Up, down, up, down, up, down Up, down, up, down 'Cause all I do is win, win, win And if you going in Put your hands in the air Make 'em stay there I'm not making fun of you.
It's just so pink.
It's all they had in my size.
And will you please take off that stupid fedora? It completes the look.
You look like Carmen Sandiego.
We do not negotiate with terrorists.
Who's the terrorist in this scenario, Dina? That suit you're wearing.
Eh, no one's a terrorist.
Again, you don't have to be here.
Oh, I'm not gonna leave you alone with these two monsters.
Okay, so why don't you guys just tell me what you want? Well, Jeff, it's really quite I'm sorry, Jeff.
I'm gonna need a minute.
I'm not saying anything.
I'm just doing this to intimidate him.
Nod your head.
That was way too big.
Smaller nods.
Okay, now giggle like I said something charming.
Okay, Jeff, what we want is for Glenn to be rehired as Store Manager.
I would sooner slit my throat and Jeff's throat before I'd let that happen.
Dina, if if you're gonna be here, I just need you to observe.
Ah, Assistant Manager style.
I got it.
So I am authorized to rehire Glenn.
Really? Well, that's that's great.
Fantastic news, Jeff.
Thanks.
[Whispered] Take that off.
Corporate is just asking that you and the rest of the employees sign here.
Then everybody can get back to work, and I can go home, which is a relief 'cause they've got me in a motel out by the airport.
It says, "continental breakfast," but it's, like, cereal and toast.
I'm like, "I can make that at home.
" Not even a muffin? I didn't look.
I was running late.
I'm sorry, excuse me.
This is an apology letter.
Are you asking us to apologize for walking out? I know it's annoying, but you're gonna have to give Corporate a little something.
Oh.
We're supposed to give Corporate a little something.
That's hilarious because you fired our boss for giving Cheyenne maternity leave.
You don't give us overtime.
You don't give us health insurance, and we're not allowed to vape in the store.
Myrtle's got a Maybe not as high up on the priority list.
Okay, can I offer some advice? You guys walked out with no planning.
You have no experience.
I can see the tag on your sleeve.
My point is you're just in way over your heads.
So sign the letter.
Say thank you.
And then don't do anything you're gonna regret.
[Chuckles] - We are on strike! - We are still on strike! Why do you have to be like that? We are on strike for the first time! So they wouldn't give Glenn's job back? No, they offered it to us, but we said, "That's not good enough.
" - Yeah.
- All right! Turning down my job! What an awesome idea! Glenn, your job is still a priority, and we can get that and more.
Sandra, you were saying you weren't getting paid for overtime? I didn't mean to complain.
No, Sandra, you were right to complain.
This is what change looks like.
Regular people like us demanding action.
Corporate says we're in over our heads.
I think we're in under our heads.
[Scattered chatter] Just go with it, guys.
She's going, she's flowing.
She's dressed like Barbara Bush.
Tomorrow we're gonna come back with signs.
- We're gonna have T-shirts.
- T-shirts.
We're gonna have one of those big, inflatable rats.
Yes, and we are gonna Burn down the store! Um, good energy, Dougie.
- I like where your head's at.
- No bad ideas.
So who's ready to stick it to Cloud 9? - [Cheers and applause] - All right! - Yeah! - That's right.
As Dr.
Martin Luther King once said - No, no.
- No.
No is right.
We'll see you tomorrow.
For our first day of strike! All: Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9! Well, this came together really well.
- I mean, one day.
- Yeah.
And it's kinda nice to be out here doing something important.
Yeah.
Someone needs to clean the porta potty.
What porta potty? All: Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9! Oh, God.
Okay, everybody needs to stay out of the garden shed.
Morning.
How was your night? Oh, not great actually.
They put me in a room by the runway, and the noise was just Well, I slept here.
Guarded the store with my life.
Don't worry, I don't smell.
Took a whore's bath in the ladies' room this morning.
Just the major stink zones.
You know, armpits, posterior, vag.
That's, uh, in the front in case you're a homosexual.
Yeah, I know where all the parts are, thank you.
Oh, okay.
Anyway, just showing you what I bring to the table as Assistant Manager.
And I'm gonna break the strike.
Mm, I'm not asking you to do that.
I got it.
You can't ask me.
Don't worry, 'cause you just did.
[Laughs] Just tell me what to do.
I mean, we've got baseball bats, fire hoses.
I mean, it's the first time for me, so if you take the lead Okay, no.
So we just want to end this peacefully.
We don't want to trample on anybody's civil rights.
Ooh, but that that sounds so good to me.
All: Boycott Cloud 9! - Who is that? - I don't know.
I mean, I Tweeted out #ProtestCloud9, and I guess just all these people showed up to support us.
Not to brag, but I have, like, 1,500 followers, and then they inevitably retweet, and so it's essentially like community organizing, which is actually how Obama got started all: Boycott Cloud 9! Excuse me.
I know this looks like Coachella, but if you were waiting for the bands to start playing, you're gonna be sorely disappointed.
I'm actually here to support.
You know, if anyone’s gonna protest a big-box store, I'm there.
Oh, okay, well, I guess it's cool to have hobbies.
If I wasn't here, I'd just be at home shooting Hellspawn.
I'm sorry, that's a reference to "Dead Chaser 4.
" - Yeah.
- Yeah, I know.
I mean, how much better is it than "Dead Chaser 3"? I mean, now when you shoot people in the head both: Their brains come out.
Well, I'm having a good day.
I am having a very good day.
All: Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9.
Boycott Cloud 9.
Boycott Cloud 9.
[Clears throat] Here, let me help you out with that.
Thank you.
Oh, almost done with this display.
- Nice work.
- Thank you.
It's Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag on the job.
Not like those sons of bitches outside.
Here, take this.
Please disperse.
I have been authorized to break this strike, and I will hose you.
[All booing] You've been warned.
- No, no.
- [Laughter] Okay.
Oh, come on.
Oh, that looks refreshing.
- [Laughter] - No, no, no! Look, a rainbow! Why isn't there a setting that hurts people? [Laughter and chatter] [Funk music plays] Hey, how's the rat coming? The blower's plugged in.
I just gotta hook it up to the valve.
- Is this the valve? - I don't know.
Look, can you just hurry up? Because the news just got here, and I really want us to look professional.
- Uh, hey, Dougie! - Huh? I'm gonna have you wait in your car, okay? Great idea.
I'm not gonna let you down.
- Thanks, bud.
- All right? Okay.
All: Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott Cloud 9! I'm Mo Frank, reporting live from the Cloud 9 on Ozark Highlands Road where things are anything but heavenly.
We're here with Amy "Dub-anowski," - who is one of - "Doob-anowski.
" - I'm sorry? - "Doob-anowski.
" Amy "Doob-anowski," who is the organizer of this protest.
Amy, uh, what's this about? Thank you, Mo.
Well, we are Cloud 9 employees, and we are asking people to boycott the store.
Really, what it comes down to, what this is all about is Making sure that transgender people should not be allowed in a women's bathroom! - What? - [Crowd booing] No, that's not at all So, Amy Dubanowski, why is restricting trans rights - so important to you? - No, it's it's not.
I'm sorry, there's been a misunderstanding.
I Tweeted out to my 1,506 followers, and I should have been more clear that we're just protesting our thing.
Down with the government! Statehood for Puerto Rico! - No! No! - Okay.
This is about workers' rights.
Workers' rights.
We're asking customers to boycott the store because this company is a rat, okay? It is a dirty, filthy rat! - Oh, it's adorable.
- It's so cute.
[Chuckles] I believe that's actually a teddy bear.
Yeah, Mo, I can see that it's a teddy bear.
I ordered a rat, but there was a mix-up at the rental house.
We got the teddy bear, and I guess there's a a five-year-old in Crestwood having a horrifying birthday party.
Well, they're having a better day than we are.
Look, I want you to know that not all Christians are bigots, okay? That one is.
That's Maggie.
She goes to my church.
She thinks she's so great because she has a karaoke machine.
Garrett, isn't that the girl you were talking to? Eh, I knew there had to be a catch.
I just thought it'd be something I could live with, like she's just real stupid or something.
Please disperse! This is your final warning.
You're gonna turn a pressure washer on us? Yeah, that could legit kill somebody.
Yeah, that's why it's a deterrent.
Whoa, whoa, oh! That's my new car! What are you doing? - Turn it off! - I'm trying.
Why are you doing this? [Panting] Ithink I've made my point.
[All screaming] And your mama too 'Cause we about to go down And you know just what to do Wave your hands in the air It feels like no matter what we do out here, people are still in there buying stuff like normal.
Then maybe we need to go inside and stop them from buying stuff.
- You you need to explain - Yeah.
- I was going to explain more.
- Okay.
[Rock music] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers.
The spider infestation in produce has been 80% contained.
So we will be focusing our attention on the bedbug infestation in the mattress section.
Meanwhile, we are down to only one raccoon left in the store.
Unfortunately, that raccoon has grown powerful beyond our wildest fears.
Don't buy that.
Mm, these have all the luxury of Egyptian cotton at half the price.
[Coughing, sneezing] What a mess! I'm taking my business to Target.
I'm sorry, Dennis.
It's just 'cause of the strike.
Excuse me! Support our strike by boycotting Cloud 9.
Don't give your money to a company that mistreats its employees.
I don't know about youse guys, but this broad's making some good sense, huh? Boycott Cloud 9! Thank you! People power! Power to the people! - That was great.
- Good job, everybody.
- We did it, guys.
- That was really good.
- Great job.
- Who are they? Oh, I know those dudes.
They're from the Kirkwood branch.
Oh, my God, it's spreading.
- Tight.
- Hey! - Thank you! - Welcome! - Thank you for your support.
- Where are they going? Thanks again for coming, guys.
Appreciate it.
- Hey, there he is, all right.
- Thanks a lot.
They're not here to join us.
They're here to replace us.
Then why did they high-five us? - It's reflexive.
- Hmm? Oh, yeah.
Okay, everybody, listen up, please.
Corporate doesn't want anyone to loose their jobs.
They just want things the way they were.
Dina is back as Assistant Manager.
- [All booing] - It is both an honor and a privilege to be able And anybody who's willing to come in and sign the letter by the end of the day, we welcome you back.
Glenn, that goes for you too.
But I'm Glenn.
- Really? - Yeah.
Oh, he just has an air of authority about him.
Anyway, if that's something you feel you can't do, I understand, and I wish you well.
Okay.
- Wait.
- Hey.
No, no, hey, guys.
They're not really gonna replace us! What are they gonna do, find someone who stocks go-backs like Mateo or who works the cash register like Elias? Yes.
Those are both very easy things to do.
Scab! Hey, Nik-Nik-Nikki.
I had a quick just, like, silly question for you.
Uh, how serious are you about all this - sort of trans bathroom stuff? - What do you mean? I mean, like, is it the only thing you think about or is it more like one of those barely talk about it, just how you were raised, opinion could change if you surrounded yourself with a cooler, more diverse group of friends type deals? No, I think it's pretty simple.
I mean, you're born a gender.
I think it's unnatural to try and change that.
That's what I was afraid of.
Hey Think about it this way.
Your brain doesn't make you a woman.
Breasts make you a woman.
You know, these make you a woman.
You're not gonna make this easy on me, are you? [Pop music playing] Boycott Cloud 9! Boycott I see you, Andre! Sandra, what are you doing? Sandra! Come back to work, Sandra.
Sandra, no, no.
Come here, Sandra.
Sandra, come here.
- Sandra, no, stay.
- Come here, come here.
- Sandra, Sandra, stay.
- Sandra, come here! Come back.
Come on, girl.
Come here, Sandra.
Come on! No, Sandra.
Sandra, Sandra, Sandra, stay.
Sandra, come back.
Come here, baby.
Come on.
Come on, girl.
- Come on! - Sandra, stay! - Sandra, no! - Good girl.
Bad Sandra! You sure it's okay if I go back? Yep.
You stuck it out as long as you could.
You're one of the good ones.
Yeah, it was tough, but principles.
Hey, dude, I'm bouncing.
You're gonna go out with that girl? Isn't she kind of a bigot? Okay, dude, I'm the black guy in a wheelchair.
I'll decide who the bigots are.
Oh, no, you're right.
I'm sorry.
And this girl is a bigot, but I have a plan.
I'm gonna take her out to dinner.
Then I'm gonna have sex with her.
A couple times.
Possibly six.
But then when she asks for more, - I'm gonna say no.
- Ah.
Not unless she takes a look at who she is as a person and makes some serious changes.
Well, that will show her.
I'm just trying to make the world a better place, Dude.
Thank you so much for your service.
This is what Martin Luther King would do.
Let's go, girl! Ha ha! Thank you guys so much for getting me my job back.
[Sighs] You don't have to stay out here, you know? Oh, no, I'm staying out as long as you do.
Which is when, do you think? I don't know.
Maybe forever.
Cool.
It's just that as soon as we put these signs down it's all over.
All of it.
Like it never happened.
Just back to square one.
Everything's gonna be back to the way it used to be.
Except for that garden shed.
That's never gonna be the same.
You know, just because we go inside doesn't mean it's over.
The fight'll go on.
This was just the first punch.
So to be continued? To be continued.
[Both sigh] I'm exhausted.
It's hard work not working.
Yeah.
My feet hurt.
Well, we have been on strike for two full days.
One day.
Mmm, agree to disagree.
I don't agree.
You're wrong.