Teen Titans Go (2013) Episode Scripts

N/A - Oh, yeah!

"Oh, yeah!" [OPENING THEME PLAYING] [CROWD CHEERING] [ROCK MUSIC] [GRUNTING] [WAR CRY] [GRUNTS] [TEEN TITANS CHEERING] Oh! Handsome Lad just knocked out Barry the Iguana! I can't believe it! [GASPS] Oh! He did not just do that.
You never kiss another man's iguana.
STARFIRE: Defend your little bunglorfs Hunter! Get up, the Barry! Get the up and the at 'em! Of course he's gonna get up, he's just milking the drama.
Are you even watching the same match, Cyborg?! You do not get up from a beating like that! - He'll get up.
- No, he won't.
It is literally impossible! [GASPS] I think we are about to witness the impossible, bro.
[CROWD CHEERING] See, he got up.
Give him the beating of the down, Barry.
[WAR CRY] Oh, oh, oh! Whoa, that is so brutal.
Ah, it's over.
Handsome Lad is done.
No, he's not.
He'll get up at the last second.
- [GASPS] Are you the psychic? - No! This is all staged.
You know pro wrestling is fake, right? [MUSIC SCRATCHES] - Fake? - Girl, it is super fake, girl.
CYBORG: They are not even touching each other.
[POP] [BABY CRIES] Why are you trying to ruin this for us?! Yeah, bro.
What do you have against wrestling? Nothing.
I love wrestling! - Real wrestling.
- You just said it was fake.
Fake wrestling is fake, but real wrestling is real! There is the real-real wrestling - that is the real and not the fake? - Yeah! An ancient and noble sport that languishes in the over-bearing neon glow of fake wrestling.
It has all the joys of fake wrestling, without any of the ridiculousness.
I can show you! Do you get to wear cool costumes? - The coolest.
- Are there sweet moves? - Sweeter than sugar.
- Then let's do it! [BELL DINGS] Aw, man, you guys look great! - Your wrestling costumes are super cool.
- No, they are not.
Is this the wrestling costume, or the old man underwear? Ugh! They are super tight, bro.
I like how they feel.
Snug in all the right places.
You're wearing official wrestling singlets and head gears.
Fine! What else? When do I get to come up the top rope on someone? There aren't any ropes to jump off.
Then what's to stop us from falling out of the ring? There isn't a ring, just a mat on the floor.
Give it a chance.
This will teach you more than showy moves.
It'll teach you self-control and pride.
I don't want that.
CYBORG: Now everyone get into position.
[BELL DINGS] It's like we are doing the hugs.
May I please do the fake choking-out-of-someone now? No! I don't wanna see any pile drivers, choke-outs, flying elbows, or any of that other non-sportsman like nonsense.
Just pure, clean Greco-Roman wrestling.
This is boring! You lied to us, Cyborg.
You said real wrestling was fun.
No, I sad it was noble and thought self-control.
And self-control isn't fun! [GROWLS] [GLASS SHATTERS] Hey! There's no yelling in wrestling! But yelling is the best part, bro! Let's all yell! [ALL YELLING] You can't get worked up like this when you're real wrestling.
We tried your precious sport, Cyborg, now, it's time to get ridiculous.
[ROBIN READING] [MUSIC] Prepare yourselves.
It's gonna be a Titanic Titan's takedown.
I am the Dudley Dandy.
If looks could kill, I'd be a wanted man.
I is the Wild Man, here to go buck wild on you fools.
[HOWLING] I am the Yeller! I speak the loudly for no apparent reason! A slama-lama-moo-moo! I am the Grave Mistake and I'm coming for you! For all of you! [HISSING] [BATS SCREECHING] Hi there, I am Victor Stone.
I hope to have a clean match out here.
Really happy to be here.
Cyborg [GROANS] - What are you doing here? - Oh, sorry.
I'm just trying to wow you with the restraint and nobility - of real wrestling.
- That's not going to work.
Moving on! [BELL DINGS] [ROBIN READING] Pro wrestlers excel in sounding like whack jobs, speaking in crazy metaphors.
Who wants to give it a try? The Wild Man will! Because I'm the vegan cream of the crop! And the cream always rises to the top, fools! And this cream is the top of the creams.
Just looking for some coffee to dip into.
If you thought coffee woke you up before, just wait until the cream of the crop is in there! And don't you worry your pretty little heads off about the expense of this cream, it being the cream of the crop and all, because here's a coupon for a dollar off! Oh, yeah! That made no sense.
I know.
[CHUCKLES] Very impressive Wild Man.
[YELLS] The speech of Wild has made me want the coffee! You have set the bar very high in the crazy talk department.
Well done.
Now, for the best part [ROBIN READING] [ALL CHEERING] - You mean fake wrestling? - Oh.
Do you think this is fake? [BOTH GRUNTING] STARFIRE: Oh, the miseries! The miseries! CYBORG: Man, there's like three feet between the two of you.
Well, there's nothing fake about a wrestler's signature move.
And the Deadly Dandy's is the very real and very deadly designer tux.
Hiya! [GRUNTS] Now, the bowtie bash! [GRUNTS] The cumber bun rush.
[GRUNTS] [ALL CHEERING] You feeling the pain, Cyborg? No! You didn't even hurt me.
I know that.
It's a part of the pageantry.
Now, let us see some super real [ROBIN READING] The call of the wild! [HOWLING] [HOWLING] The slama-lama-moo-moo! [YELLING] It's the six feet under! Oh, yeah! [CLASSICAL MUSIC] Oh, oh, oh, yeah! [GRUNTING] [SIGHS] First, fake wrestling ruins a noble sport and now it's gonna ruin breakfast.
Can you smell what the Wild Man is cooking? Ah! Smell good! Yes! The toasted bread! And it is burned! Please, stop screaming.
[BELL DINGS] [THUNDER RUMBLES] The screams will stop when the Grave Mistake puts you six feet under.
[GRUNTS] It's too early for this.
I need coffee.
You can't have coffee without the vegan cream that rises to the top! Oh, oh, oh! You know who's on top? The vegan cream, brother! The cream! The cream always rises to the top.
Hey, get that away from me man.
[ALL GASP] Did you just disrespect the Dandy's tux? Nobody disrespects the tux! Pocket watch pow! [GRUNTS] One, two, three.
It's done! All right! That's it! Your lives have become too ridiculous and melodramatic! You all have to stop! What? Who is going to stop us? - You? - That's right.
I challenge you to a [CYBORG READING] [ALL CHEERING] Come out, Victor! Don't be late for your own funeral.
The Deadly Dandy is going to make you into a fashion no-no.
Oh, that metal, clashy-clashy.
[YELLING] Welcome to the jungle, fool! Time to prove that real wrestling is superior to fake wrestling, once and for all! How? Are you gonna bore us to death? [ALL LAUGHING] [LAUGHS] You may think it's boring, but it's a sport steeped in thousands of years of tradition.
CYBORG: A beautiful dance between two noble competitors that teaches toughness, self-confidence and sportsmanship.
That was beautiful, man.
I wanna join you in this fight.
- You do? - You bet I do, bro.
- Together! - Forever! Let's do this! [SCREAMS] Oh, yeah! The Wild Man just ran wild on you fool! It's a double cross.
You just fell for the oldest trick in the fake wrestling book.
And you just made a big mistake, letting the tiger out of the cage! The gloves are coming off people, because when you mess with the bull, you get the horns! He is speaking in the metaphors! Then this should be fun! [GRUNTING] Ah! [GROANS] [SCREAMS] [ROARING] [ALL GRUNTING] Oh, my goodness! I can't take it! The pain! Oh, the CYBORG: Wait, this is fake.
I'm getting caught up in the ridiculousness.
Need some discipline and self-control.
[ANGELIC MUSIC] [ALL GRUNTING] Mind the gap! [GRUNTS] This is mildly uncomfortable.
The bear hug is not very showy.
But it is well executed.
- You win, bro.
You win! - Just let us go! Not until you say it! [GROANS] Real wrestling truly is a noble sport.
Thank you, Cyborg, for showing us the light.
No, thank you.
For this! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! That's right.
Who's the champ? I'm the champ! Woo! That's what happens when you try to stop me! All you kids out there, I want you to eat your veggies, I want you drinking that almond milk.
Stay in school! Woo! Ow! [THEME SONG PLAYING]