The Simpsons s16e06 Episode Script
Midnight Rx
What? Can't we sit on the couch without something happening? Dooughh! I can't believe Mr Burns reserved the entire museum.
Just for an office party doesn't seem fair to the regular visitors.
We drove on the plus side, this rope is mighty soft Touch it, kids! Party! Party! Party Homer, these are the people you work with Show some restraint! restraint! restraint! restraint! Lighten up, Marge! That is my chance to relax with people from work I never get to see Like this guy! I am your supervisor.
- Really? How am I doing? Well, well, if it is'nt my favorite employee, and his spouse! And these must be children! Have a gingerroot! Mr Burns acting nice That's odd.
.
He must be up to something.
Lise, Mr.
Burns is the sweetest kindest man I know.
How many man do you know? Basically, him and Dad.
Nice touch, Moe.
Yes, Thanks, I bought these for my funeral.
It ain't got no back, so don't make me turn around Hey, I'm payin for silk lining coffin, and damn it! I want to feel it.
Since the dawn of aviation, Man has built museums dedicated to the history of flight.
And created audiovisual materials to orient visitors to those museums.
from a handrawn flipbook at the wright brother's museum to the I-MAX movie at the Cape Canaveral.
Aviation museum av materials have taken aprils and dozens alike are now rocket ride to comprehension This is the story of those materials.
type in a Burns giant head.
It sounds like Burns! Hahaha! That's him do a Tee Here we have a vintage film of the original Springfield wingwalker Including our own Agnes Skinner Wow, a wooden plane! It was about time trees are good for to something.
Rather than just stand there like jerks! The Plywood Pelican was larger than a football field.
It weighs more than the State of New Hampshire.
It was only flown once, by its creator Mister C.
Montgomery Burns.
I flew it at an altitude of 6 feet, for a distance of 4 and a half feet Then we discovered that rain makes it catch fire Then the Führer fired me What a magical party this has been Mr Burns is a great man! I've got a bad feeling about all this.
Come on Marge, this place is great! Free admission, free grub, And we got to use the bathroom of the future.
Homer that was a power twelve! Greetings, wages junkies! Is everyone happy and content? Yea! - This is great! I would die for you.
Has your sense of outrage dulled? Filled it, super boss! Very well Effective immediately the employee prescription drug program Is terminated! What?!! - Why? in these days of raising health care cost bla bla bla, lip service, lip service Get out! This must be the nasty surprise he mentioned in the invitation.
This sucks! Get him! Fly, you fool! I try to explain to you sir This thing is never actually work Smithers,you must believe! Next stop, Paral Island Well, it was a pretty good party You think Carole from payroll and Mike from shipping will hooked up? He is married.
Change the course Carole must be warned! Now that Mr Burns has eliminated the drug plan we're gonna have to cut back on our diseases! I'll get a second job.
One that pays well.
You think those guys from "Friends" need another friend? This show has gone off the air! Damned it! I would have been perfect as Rachel's Irish cousin.
Soo you doin each other,are ya? But who's gonna put out for the old Seamus! I need a new job, that provide full healths benefit Uhuhm! As long as I only work 5 hrs a day no heavy lifting No light clerical, none of that secret santa crap tasteful nudity.
Aa, well, let me see what I've got.
You have defeated the Doom part that seal the portal Phobos is saved.
- Phobos? That's a good job for me.
Following the lead of Springfield nuclear power other local company has canceling their prescription drug plan Even here at Channel 6! Well kids! I want you to go to your parent's medicine cabinet And find all the pills labelled: Lithium dibromide.
And send them to me.
Now! Noone likes a bipolar clown! Hueehe he he he he! To cope with the crisis, many consumers has turning to alternative forms of treatment! I've had medicated Ralphie with stuff from the evidence locker Ha, ha! I'm coofer from contraband! Of course, these wouldn't be necessary if retail drug prices were reasonable Dr.
Julius Hibbert, do you agree? I can't give drug companies the break We have lots of hidden cost and they know how to treat a brother! Let me introduce you to the fine looking females of Pfizer! "I like big butts and I can not lie " "You other brothers can't deny" "when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist" "and a round thing in your face you get sprummed.
.
" Pfizer side effects includes dizziness and shortness of marriage Daamnn! Let me start out by saying it is always a pleasure t' sit down with a mother and a daughter who snoutpass a security and burst into my office I just don't see why one little pill should cost $30? Drugs are not so expensive on another countries you know that countries families also lie on the floor and eat bugs what countries are those? Have you ever been to Norway? No.
That they doin it in Norway and that's why I personally thank God we pay too much for drugs I mean, aa.
The right amount.
I mean not enough.
.
Here, watch this video! The mighty amazon river The natives has a word for it then we got rid of the Indians and noone remembers that word But here's a word everyone remembers by Huey Lewis and The News.
"I want a new drug!" "When the woman is sick" when the woman crashed my car and made you feel feel feel feel i want a new job alright, here's your medication Wait a minute!this ain't no pill! it's a cork nut! i've got a bottle cap Mine flew away! Let me explain from behind this cage.
Your pills have become very expensive.
And noone get's a rat's ass about you, so after a lot of thougt we decided to let you go cold turkey For those who survive the night, will be having waffles tomorrow.
Woo, waffles! I didn't die in world war II just to be pushed around by some pill hoardin' hushy i'm gonna fight this thing He is crazy, but what do you wannado, he's young! Well the drug company won't do anything to help us I got the answer! Dad? Oh, thank God it's the right place I burst the first 4 homes before this one Now listen! All the drugs we want are across the border I have a friend who'll help us The border, eh? And I better sand-off my finger prints I could just wear gloves.
Naah, they are upstairs.
holla, senor! We are gringo and wish to spend mucho dinero in your country Splendid! Welcome to Canada.
- D'oh! (Veterans of a single War) Ok, here are your free canadian health cards take them to any pharmacy and you'll be have enough drugs to make your Regina looked like Sheeshcatu.
.
that's a good one Johny! Thanks a million Johny! In appreciation I'd like to give you this DVD player What the heck! Where do you pour the syrup? I'd like some Vayax, commadine, epherol And a autoinflate blood pressure monitor c-cuff, with case.
.
Anything you like, fellow Canadian! Canadian? Them's fightin' words I mean, accurate words! ( "White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane) Anything to declare? I declare that you have the most beautiful brown eyes! Why, I do believe you're smuggling a heart as big as all outdoors! Now get in my country, you big lug! Did he had a passport? Yes to my heart.
Drugs! Various drugs! Be sure to read instructions! O, ow! Where do I put the instructions? Now, who's next? I got pills that make you sleep late, coagulate, illuminate, and copulate In that order! Grand Pa, we would like to thank you for all you have done for us Please accept this operation Dumbo drop souvenir jacket Look, they use the same D for the Dumbo and the Drop Unbelieveably only three who ever purchased Marge? Bart? Lisa? Aloha! Ooh this is just like Hawaii but you don't get beaten up if you leavin' the hotel What gives? We just wanted to thank you.
Because of the Xanax, i'm not over anxious about being a Simpsons anymore I'm a little anxious being on Xanax but the Zolox covers them nicely My Dad! The drug mule! ooh, man! I need something to settle my stomach Oh wait! I was supposed to take it with food Oh look, it's Mr.
Homer, my favorite customer! Please feel free port through my Playdudes, and and tell me to go back to some country I am not actually from Why all the sweet talk, Apu? Are you after some cheap drugs? Please let me come on one of your smuggling runs My 8 babies are driving me crazy! with their coughing, and sneezing and general oozing My janitor and drummies are afraid to come out! What does that mean? I do not even know.
That's the kind of bad jokes I'm makin I'm so tired! Help me out, Homer! Little Roddie needs his Insulin It breaks my heart to watch that Jones-diddily-onesy Flanders? I do not know.
I mean you haven't done me anything since you lend me that $5000 yesterday I don't claim to be the perfect neighbour If you let us come, I'd give you You do what you will No cameras? (Stuttering) No cameras.
Homer, tell Mr Ned to stop trying to convert me I was just tellin' him how brave he is to worshipping false god I do not worship one god, Ok? I worship a whole super team of dietys that.
.
aaaw! aww! Ok, he just pinched me! well, where's your super team now? Listen you two! I'll tell you who the true God is if, you both quiet for the rest of the trip.
alright, i'm comin back there.
.
give it! save me Shiva! Why did'nt you just callout for hawkman? Why you didn't you shut up? Well circle cut my bacon! Looky all this yankee doodi dandies! Is there another vietnam going on? well, hello neighbourino to the north! I sure like your jibberish! Say, would you like to pop on the reefereeno? It's legal here.
They warned me satan would be attractive! Let's go! Anyone wants some coffee for the ride back? It's not convenient store crap is it? Because I don't feed that to my dogs! No, no, it's home brewed.
Careful! It's hotter than a fox news weather skank! Here, let me wrap this wet towel around your head to cool you off Stop him! he's expressing his faith, eh! Hold on! we're just innocent tourist! Walalalaa I took another sip! Today, mountees busted a major american drug smuggling ring Former US astronaut, Homer Simpson was taken into custody.
Oow, my butt looked so huge during the perp walks We have confiscated your car and its contents.
Nous avons confisqué votre voiture et son contenu.
You may leave Canada, but never returned.
Vous pouvez quitter le Canada, mais vous n'avez plus le droit de rentrer.
I am a big fat french idiot! Je suis un grand gros--hey! no more drugs.
we let everyone down.
Your jacket, senor.
Thank God, we did not stitch your name over the breast Dad, you tried your best.
For the first time in my life I can say without being drunk I truly admire you! No drinking in public! Hey, where did it go? oh, well! aah, there's nothing like canceling employee drug plan somewhat i feel sweet peace with the universe I agree, sir.
Shut up! I'm so sick of you, Smithers you're toiling, your complete inability your grasping on the floor, whaaa!!! Smithers, is this some sort of hyjinx? Stop it immediately! Sir, my thyroid is swelling up! Confound it, man! i need your throat clear and ready for purgery When you canceled the drug plan I could not afford me my viroksine anymore But before I died, Err the word I long to say.
.
Sir, I, Fear not, Smithers! I'll move heaven and earth to save you.
It's still easier than teaching my new assistant my filing system I just wish we could make one last big score.
.
But we could never bypass that border patrol There are other ways to get into Canada That's it, a plane! Smuggle drugs in a plane? That'll never work! Sure it will! All we need is a pilot.
I've got everything you need! Katherine Hepburn! No you fool! T's it I, Burns! Now come with me! at last! my plane should be used for its original purpose.
.
To subvert the laws of the United States! Looks like your plane pretty full, eh? Don't wanna overload it.
Phfuuh! Typical Canadian wimpyness! That's why you have the snowballs and we had the H-bomb.
We really appreciate your help, Johnny! Is there anyway we could repay you? Well, I've always wanted to see a man with the IQ of the child executed by the state, We dont' get that up here Really? In America, we do it 4 times a week! You come on down, I'll get us front row seats! I'd liked that! We're losing altituted.
Time to dump all unecessary weight! What? Do not dump me out! I can lose weight! Just give me a chance! aah, I'd rather die it's no use! we've got to make an emergency landing! Well, at least we all in this together! Now, we have 3 parachutes.
This one's for me.
.
and these two are gifts for my nephews.
Tally ho! Homer, are you sure you can make it? I'll make it dad! With a wing and a prayer! Damned it! Alright! You're under arrest! On what charged? Making a police chief go, daaaa! get in the car, and don't touch those guns! I just loaded them.
You'll have to arrest me too Abe Simpson brought the prepichere to keep grass on Willie's field! He cured my Limbago, thankyouuu! My diaper rash! My glavionoyvien, they're not so hurtful Thanks to his lactose intolerant pills I can drink this Krusty brand milkshake.
Terrible! Well Simpsons! You've helped a lot of people Soo, like it says on Springfield Police handbook.
.
If you can't beat 'em, join them! Chief, I've been checking the handbook.
.
a lot of things you said are not in there at all.
Yea, well look a little closer, Lou! I hope I'm not too late.
Take potion! Hurry! Hemm, it's not working.
Only my sour curdled breath will cook him in.
.
Sir, you saved my life! Yes Smithers, I was a stingy old fool but from now on, i will provide full benefits for all my full time employees Great news, Honey! Mr.
Burns made me a freelance consultant! Hey, what's this lub?
Just for an office party doesn't seem fair to the regular visitors.
We drove on the plus side, this rope is mighty soft Touch it, kids! Party! Party! Party Homer, these are the people you work with Show some restraint! restraint! restraint! restraint! Lighten up, Marge! That is my chance to relax with people from work I never get to see Like this guy! I am your supervisor.
- Really? How am I doing? Well, well, if it is'nt my favorite employee, and his spouse! And these must be children! Have a gingerroot! Mr Burns acting nice That's odd.
.
He must be up to something.
Lise, Mr.
Burns is the sweetest kindest man I know.
How many man do you know? Basically, him and Dad.
Nice touch, Moe.
Yes, Thanks, I bought these for my funeral.
It ain't got no back, so don't make me turn around Hey, I'm payin for silk lining coffin, and damn it! I want to feel it.
Since the dawn of aviation, Man has built museums dedicated to the history of flight.
And created audiovisual materials to orient visitors to those museums.
from a handrawn flipbook at the wright brother's museum to the I-MAX movie at the Cape Canaveral.
Aviation museum av materials have taken aprils and dozens alike are now rocket ride to comprehension This is the story of those materials.
type in a Burns giant head.
It sounds like Burns! Hahaha! That's him do a Tee Here we have a vintage film of the original Springfield wingwalker Including our own Agnes Skinner Wow, a wooden plane! It was about time trees are good for to something.
Rather than just stand there like jerks! The Plywood Pelican was larger than a football field.
It weighs more than the State of New Hampshire.
It was only flown once, by its creator Mister C.
Montgomery Burns.
I flew it at an altitude of 6 feet, for a distance of 4 and a half feet Then we discovered that rain makes it catch fire Then the Führer fired me What a magical party this has been Mr Burns is a great man! I've got a bad feeling about all this.
Come on Marge, this place is great! Free admission, free grub, And we got to use the bathroom of the future.
Homer that was a power twelve! Greetings, wages junkies! Is everyone happy and content? Yea! - This is great! I would die for you.
Has your sense of outrage dulled? Filled it, super boss! Very well Effective immediately the employee prescription drug program Is terminated! What?!! - Why? in these days of raising health care cost bla bla bla, lip service, lip service Get out! This must be the nasty surprise he mentioned in the invitation.
This sucks! Get him! Fly, you fool! I try to explain to you sir This thing is never actually work Smithers,you must believe! Next stop, Paral Island Well, it was a pretty good party You think Carole from payroll and Mike from shipping will hooked up? He is married.
Change the course Carole must be warned! Now that Mr Burns has eliminated the drug plan we're gonna have to cut back on our diseases! I'll get a second job.
One that pays well.
You think those guys from "Friends" need another friend? This show has gone off the air! Damned it! I would have been perfect as Rachel's Irish cousin.
Soo you doin each other,are ya? But who's gonna put out for the old Seamus! I need a new job, that provide full healths benefit Uhuhm! As long as I only work 5 hrs a day no heavy lifting No light clerical, none of that secret santa crap tasteful nudity.
Aa, well, let me see what I've got.
You have defeated the Doom part that seal the portal Phobos is saved.
- Phobos? That's a good job for me.
Following the lead of Springfield nuclear power other local company has canceling their prescription drug plan Even here at Channel 6! Well kids! I want you to go to your parent's medicine cabinet And find all the pills labelled: Lithium dibromide.
And send them to me.
Now! Noone likes a bipolar clown! Hueehe he he he he! To cope with the crisis, many consumers has turning to alternative forms of treatment! I've had medicated Ralphie with stuff from the evidence locker Ha, ha! I'm coofer from contraband! Of course, these wouldn't be necessary if retail drug prices were reasonable Dr.
Julius Hibbert, do you agree? I can't give drug companies the break We have lots of hidden cost and they know how to treat a brother! Let me introduce you to the fine looking females of Pfizer! "I like big butts and I can not lie " "You other brothers can't deny" "when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist" "and a round thing in your face you get sprummed.
.
" Pfizer side effects includes dizziness and shortness of marriage Daamnn! Let me start out by saying it is always a pleasure t' sit down with a mother and a daughter who snoutpass a security and burst into my office I just don't see why one little pill should cost $30? Drugs are not so expensive on another countries you know that countries families also lie on the floor and eat bugs what countries are those? Have you ever been to Norway? No.
That they doin it in Norway and that's why I personally thank God we pay too much for drugs I mean, aa.
The right amount.
I mean not enough.
.
Here, watch this video! The mighty amazon river The natives has a word for it then we got rid of the Indians and noone remembers that word But here's a word everyone remembers by Huey Lewis and The News.
"I want a new drug!" "When the woman is sick" when the woman crashed my car and made you feel feel feel feel i want a new job alright, here's your medication Wait a minute!this ain't no pill! it's a cork nut! i've got a bottle cap Mine flew away! Let me explain from behind this cage.
Your pills have become very expensive.
And noone get's a rat's ass about you, so after a lot of thougt we decided to let you go cold turkey For those who survive the night, will be having waffles tomorrow.
Woo, waffles! I didn't die in world war II just to be pushed around by some pill hoardin' hushy i'm gonna fight this thing He is crazy, but what do you wannado, he's young! Well the drug company won't do anything to help us I got the answer! Dad? Oh, thank God it's the right place I burst the first 4 homes before this one Now listen! All the drugs we want are across the border I have a friend who'll help us The border, eh? And I better sand-off my finger prints I could just wear gloves.
Naah, they are upstairs.
holla, senor! We are gringo and wish to spend mucho dinero in your country Splendid! Welcome to Canada.
- D'oh! (Veterans of a single War) Ok, here are your free canadian health cards take them to any pharmacy and you'll be have enough drugs to make your Regina looked like Sheeshcatu.
.
that's a good one Johny! Thanks a million Johny! In appreciation I'd like to give you this DVD player What the heck! Where do you pour the syrup? I'd like some Vayax, commadine, epherol And a autoinflate blood pressure monitor c-cuff, with case.
.
Anything you like, fellow Canadian! Canadian? Them's fightin' words I mean, accurate words! ( "White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane) Anything to declare? I declare that you have the most beautiful brown eyes! Why, I do believe you're smuggling a heart as big as all outdoors! Now get in my country, you big lug! Did he had a passport? Yes to my heart.
Drugs! Various drugs! Be sure to read instructions! O, ow! Where do I put the instructions? Now, who's next? I got pills that make you sleep late, coagulate, illuminate, and copulate In that order! Grand Pa, we would like to thank you for all you have done for us Please accept this operation Dumbo drop souvenir jacket Look, they use the same D for the Dumbo and the Drop Unbelieveably only three who ever purchased Marge? Bart? Lisa? Aloha! Ooh this is just like Hawaii but you don't get beaten up if you leavin' the hotel What gives? We just wanted to thank you.
Because of the Xanax, i'm not over anxious about being a Simpsons anymore I'm a little anxious being on Xanax but the Zolox covers them nicely My Dad! The drug mule! ooh, man! I need something to settle my stomach Oh wait! I was supposed to take it with food Oh look, it's Mr.
Homer, my favorite customer! Please feel free port through my Playdudes, and and tell me to go back to some country I am not actually from Why all the sweet talk, Apu? Are you after some cheap drugs? Please let me come on one of your smuggling runs My 8 babies are driving me crazy! with their coughing, and sneezing and general oozing My janitor and drummies are afraid to come out! What does that mean? I do not even know.
That's the kind of bad jokes I'm makin I'm so tired! Help me out, Homer! Little Roddie needs his Insulin It breaks my heart to watch that Jones-diddily-onesy Flanders? I do not know.
I mean you haven't done me anything since you lend me that $5000 yesterday I don't claim to be the perfect neighbour If you let us come, I'd give you You do what you will No cameras? (Stuttering) No cameras.
Homer, tell Mr Ned to stop trying to convert me I was just tellin' him how brave he is to worshipping false god I do not worship one god, Ok? I worship a whole super team of dietys that.
.
aaaw! aww! Ok, he just pinched me! well, where's your super team now? Listen you two! I'll tell you who the true God is if, you both quiet for the rest of the trip.
alright, i'm comin back there.
.
give it! save me Shiva! Why did'nt you just callout for hawkman? Why you didn't you shut up? Well circle cut my bacon! Looky all this yankee doodi dandies! Is there another vietnam going on? well, hello neighbourino to the north! I sure like your jibberish! Say, would you like to pop on the reefereeno? It's legal here.
They warned me satan would be attractive! Let's go! Anyone wants some coffee for the ride back? It's not convenient store crap is it? Because I don't feed that to my dogs! No, no, it's home brewed.
Careful! It's hotter than a fox news weather skank! Here, let me wrap this wet towel around your head to cool you off Stop him! he's expressing his faith, eh! Hold on! we're just innocent tourist! Walalalaa I took another sip! Today, mountees busted a major american drug smuggling ring Former US astronaut, Homer Simpson was taken into custody.
Oow, my butt looked so huge during the perp walks We have confiscated your car and its contents.
Nous avons confisqué votre voiture et son contenu.
You may leave Canada, but never returned.
Vous pouvez quitter le Canada, mais vous n'avez plus le droit de rentrer.
I am a big fat french idiot! Je suis un grand gros--hey! no more drugs.
we let everyone down.
Your jacket, senor.
Thank God, we did not stitch your name over the breast Dad, you tried your best.
For the first time in my life I can say without being drunk I truly admire you! No drinking in public! Hey, where did it go? oh, well! aah, there's nothing like canceling employee drug plan somewhat i feel sweet peace with the universe I agree, sir.
Shut up! I'm so sick of you, Smithers you're toiling, your complete inability your grasping on the floor, whaaa!!! Smithers, is this some sort of hyjinx? Stop it immediately! Sir, my thyroid is swelling up! Confound it, man! i need your throat clear and ready for purgery When you canceled the drug plan I could not afford me my viroksine anymore But before I died, Err the word I long to say.
.
Sir, I, Fear not, Smithers! I'll move heaven and earth to save you.
It's still easier than teaching my new assistant my filing system I just wish we could make one last big score.
.
But we could never bypass that border patrol There are other ways to get into Canada That's it, a plane! Smuggle drugs in a plane? That'll never work! Sure it will! All we need is a pilot.
I've got everything you need! Katherine Hepburn! No you fool! T's it I, Burns! Now come with me! at last! my plane should be used for its original purpose.
.
To subvert the laws of the United States! Looks like your plane pretty full, eh? Don't wanna overload it.
Phfuuh! Typical Canadian wimpyness! That's why you have the snowballs and we had the H-bomb.
We really appreciate your help, Johnny! Is there anyway we could repay you? Well, I've always wanted to see a man with the IQ of the child executed by the state, We dont' get that up here Really? In America, we do it 4 times a week! You come on down, I'll get us front row seats! I'd liked that! We're losing altituted.
Time to dump all unecessary weight! What? Do not dump me out! I can lose weight! Just give me a chance! aah, I'd rather die it's no use! we've got to make an emergency landing! Well, at least we all in this together! Now, we have 3 parachutes.
This one's for me.
.
and these two are gifts for my nephews.
Tally ho! Homer, are you sure you can make it? I'll make it dad! With a wing and a prayer! Damned it! Alright! You're under arrest! On what charged? Making a police chief go, daaaa! get in the car, and don't touch those guns! I just loaded them.
You'll have to arrest me too Abe Simpson brought the prepichere to keep grass on Willie's field! He cured my Limbago, thankyouuu! My diaper rash! My glavionoyvien, they're not so hurtful Thanks to his lactose intolerant pills I can drink this Krusty brand milkshake.
Terrible! Well Simpsons! You've helped a lot of people Soo, like it says on Springfield Police handbook.
.
If you can't beat 'em, join them! Chief, I've been checking the handbook.
.
a lot of things you said are not in there at all.
Yea, well look a little closer, Lou! I hope I'm not too late.
Take potion! Hurry! Hemm, it's not working.
Only my sour curdled breath will cook him in.
.
Sir, you saved my life! Yes Smithers, I was a stingy old fool but from now on, i will provide full benefits for all my full time employees Great news, Honey! Mr.
Burns made me a freelance consultant! Hey, what's this lub?