Workin' Moms (2017) s01e05 Episode Script

1 Kate: Previously on "Workin' Moms:" Are you dismissing me? I just think it would be better for our relationship, you know, if maybe you didn't watch Charlie anymore.
I think I might just have the teensiest little drop of postpartum.
Mean Nanny: I'm sorry, but what part of "stand up" - didn't you understand, Alice? - You're hired.
I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription.
- Let's do this.
- [People screaming.]
Rosie: Kate, it's your mum, she was bit by your dog.
He's a biter now, and I don't think there's any coming back from that.
[Zoe cries.]
Art: You're doing really, really good Jenny.
I thought you said they'd like this.
Art: Oh she will, soon.
Frankie: Well, I gotta hand it to you, art.
Man, these things are legit.
I just took a leak, and I felt Rhoda released her bladder in response.
We were one! Connected, it was awesome! This is not natural! Sorry! Maybe we should look away.
- I don't think I can.
- Hmm.
I'm sensing you're experiencing a disconnect with your baby.
You see, I'm dialed into her frequency, while your mothering instincts have become a little Hmm, clouded by the modern No, just shut up, Art! Uh Art, I think it would be best if you collected your silks, and-and go.
[Babies coo.]
You know, I'm available for home visits.
All: Get outta here! Just go, leave.
Go! I apologize, everyone.
His website looked very impressive.
Hey, who doesn't love an older male mothering expert.
- Right? You okay, Jenny? - [Sighs.]
Maybe I'm not connected to Zoe.
Hey, you're great, seriously.
Nobody says that we have to be connected to our kids all the time.
Yeah, like Charlie, I love him to death, he's my boy, but sometimes I wish he was Like, on that show "The Leftovers," you know? Just taken right out of the back of my car, and then I get home and I'm like, I know I went to the grocery store, but where's my son? And then I'm free! Val: Ladies, the maternal bond comes in many shapes and sizes.
Let's try to focus on something we can all agree on, - that silk man was awful.
- Terrible.
- The worst.
- Yeah.
[Traffic rumbles.]
Can't see that gettin' old.
Hey, hold the door! Katie! - Oh, good morning.
- Good morning.
[Chuckles.]
I've gotta tell you, it's so great to have that interesting face of yours - back here again.
- Ohhh.
Such an odd mouth.
- I missed it.
- Oh, well thank you, Richard.
I gotta say, it feels pretty great to be back.
[Elevator dings.]
Rosie, how the hell are 'ya? Y-your mum's on the phone.
- Is she whispering? - Mhmm.
- Eleanor: [Whispers.]
Kate! - Mom, what happened? I'm humiliated, he bit a child! What?! Olly bit a kid? No, Charlie.
Your son bit a child.
Okay, seeing as he only has a couple tiny teeth, I'm assuming the other baby survived? This is not a joke, Kate.
You know Charlie's mimicking that vicious dog.
Mom, it's not that big of a deal, okay? Babies, they put their mouths on everything, it's like a trademark baby move.
Katie, my dear, how much more blood must be shed before you put that dog to rest? What do you mean, "put to rest?" I'm sorry, I meant put that dog down! I know this is not an easy thing for you, but you have got to make the choice.
I will not be back in that house - with that animal anymore.
- Mom, I'm just gonna say it, the timing of all this feels very convenient.
I don't know what you mean.
What I mean is that I tell you I want a new nanny, and now you wanna kill my dog! Well, that would be extraordinarily petty of me, wouldn't it? [Loud banging.]
Yeah, Mom, I'm coming to get Olly, okay? So you said you were at the park? Um no, uh, we'll meet you at home.
Yeah, okay.
Will you please clear my afternoon, - I have to go deal with my dog.
- Oh no, is he okay? Yeah, he's fine, it's just my mom is not okay.
Oh, good! I mean, not good that your mom's not okay, good that the dog's okay.
- I love dogs.
- Yeah, me too.
Instructor: Gale, excellent vase.
Savannah, I love that bowl! Look at those beautiful swirls inside.
Oh Frankie, you've made another ball How smooth and dense.
It feels really great in my hands.
You know it will most likely explode in the kiln - Again.
- Don't count her out, man.
No, I got faith in this one.
Ah Shh, it's okay.
So the thing about probiotics from yogurt is that it puts you more in tune with animals.
That's why I can communicate with my cat.
So when did you start liking all this health food crap? Mean Nanny says her homemade yogurt will make my skin glow.
- She knows things.
- Mean Nanny? Yeah, that's what we call you.
Mean Nanny.
Hmm.
I don't care, I kinda like it.
I'm so excited! I've never had anything homemade! That's not true at all.
And don't forget, it'll make your hair super shiny, mini me! [Both laugh.]
Can I make you an heirloom cucumber salad, Anne? Nope, I'm good.
That milk smells like despair, by the way.
It's triggering my nausea.
"Mini me," my asshole! [Knocking.]
In session! Hey, I just found this on your door.
- Oh, what's the face? - Uh, confused? Ohhh! Does Alice draw those for you? No, Lionel, it's our little thing, I put one on his laptop every day, and he puts one on my door.
Oh, what was yours this morning? - Crying.
- Oh, that's brave.
Can I have one of those cheese sticks? [Anne sighs.]
As far as vomiting goes, dairy is the smoothest.
Hmm.
So uh, how are you doing, now that you've been off of meds for a few weeks? A-okay.
Yeah, I'm ready to creep back on 'em.
Don't wanna let those bats back out of the cave.
Frankie, I think it's best that we take an alternative approach.
How's everything else? How's work? Oh, good actually, yeah.
I've been feeling a lot more present at work.
Ooh, and I picked up a hobby, as per your suggestion.
Pottery master! Taking requests.
Frankie, this is so great.
Such amazing progress to celebrate, - good for you.
- Yeah Yeah, it's just I mean, things are still weird with Giselle.
- Mhmm - Right, she's always checking on me, pushing me to take care of myself, and then pulling away at the same time, it's like It's like she's in one of those revolving door thingies, you know, spinning, and spinning and spinning, but she just-she won't let me in, do you know what I mean? Yeah, this has been a very big adjustment for Giselle as well.
I think it might take a little time.
When's the last time that you guys had some fun together? Oh man, Anne, I don't know! We used to be like theme park level fun, you know? There is a shot named after us at our local bar.
Okay, I'm not gonna tell you the name of it, because Giselle thinks it's racist, but it's a good one.
Anyway, super fun, that's what we were! I don't know if you can expect to be theme park level fun right now.
But you know, there's other things.
Yeah.
No, you're right, you're right.
It's just I'd think better with another one of those cheese strings.
It's just that it's my last one.
Uh huh, oh yeah.
It's just I have postpartum depression.
Wow.
That was smooth.
Unbelievable.
I will always feel a little sad when I look at you is beating fast Don't look at me like that, man! I'm not the one that bit my mom.
[Olly whines.]
[Sighs.]
- Hey, hey.
- Hey, what's going on? [Sighs.]
I had to go pick him up, my mom refuses to be in the house with Olly, can I leave him here? Ooh, I'd love to, but Kabaka's allergic.
- [Phone rings.]
- Kabaka? Your assistant who doesn't appear to be here?! You wanna get the phone, Nathan? [Phone rings.]
Foster Stewart.
Yeah, hi, it's Nathan, can I call you back shortly? Okay, speak soon.
Yeah, he's just at the gym, he'll be back soon.
Anyway, where are you on this whole dangerous Olly thing, back me up here.
Mm.
Kid, I'm sorry to say I'm with your mom on this one.
What? What does that even mean? It means I think we should consider that it isn't safe to have him around if we can't trust him.
He's 16-years-old and he's always had a mean streak, but now he's kinda senile, and he could be a threat to Charlie.
[Sighs.]
Wow, okay.
Look, I've always loved Olly - [Olly snarls.]
- Oh boy.
But he's always kind of been your blind spot.
[Groans.]
I'm not pushing you to do anything, I just wanna be clear about that, I love you.
Mm, love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Doggie! Can I pet? Oh okay, real gentle.
- He's uh - [Olly snarls.]
Uh, sorry.
That kid smelled a lot like salami! You know, bringing your dog to lunch really limits our options here.
What am I supposed to do? My mom has me in a "Sophie's choice" between my dog and my son! Okay, there's not a part in this situation where Charlie nearly dies.
We're talking about whether or not to put your shitty, old, mean dog down or not.
Okay, he might be old, and I'll give you mean, but I'm drawing the line at shitty.
It's at best "Sophie's choice-ish.
" Thank you so much for taking the time Anne, this has been remarkably helpful.
Charlie's not even going to remember that dog, if it's any consolation.
Okay, you know what, I'm usually in for your tough bordering on cruel love, but seriously, I'm considering putting a dog down! Could you just cut me some slack, please? You're right.
It's just that my nanny has gotten closer to my daughter in a week than I have in the last nine years, and now I'm being an asshole to you about your dog.
[Sighs heavily.]
I'm sorry.
I think I'm missing a gene.
No, it's okay.
Have you ever put a pet down? What do you wanna know? - Do I have to be in the room? - You'll wanna be.
Do I have to give him the needle? No, they do that.
What's expected of me, exactly? - Just hold him.
- Okay.
Pet him.
- So it's completely awful.
- Completely awful.
But not "Sophie's choice" awful.
You are missing a gene.
[Water splashes.]
- [Water stops.]
- [Knocking.]
- Anne: Hang on! - Mom? Can you hand me a towel? Oh, both of you, okay, great.
We have a question.
And I need to be wet for this question? I can understand why you're uncomfortable.
But underneath our flesh clothes, we're all just a combination of organs and matter.
Yeah.
Okay.
What? Can we have some money? Please hand me an adult sized towel first! Thank you! - Mommy doesn't like her body.
- What?! Why would you say that? Maybe because you don't treat it very well.
What do you need this money for? We're building a unicorn's house.
Actually, it's pretty-corn's house.
Who's pretty-corn? [In unison.]
Show me your horn! - Oh, it's from this show.
- "Unicorn girls!" Right.
- That she loves.
- I know.
Did you know that Mean Nanny and I have the same birthday? - Really? - And we both meditate.
Since when do you meditate? And get this, we're both left handed! Wow, you guys have a lot in common.
So can we have some money for supplies? Yes, yeah, it's in my purse in the kitchen on the table.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Mhmm.
Hey, maybe later I can help you guys with that pony house.
They're unicorns.
[Door thuds.]
Woman: Welcome to Galaxy Burger, what can I get for you today? All right, little man, this hand for hot dog, this hand for hamburger.
Woman: Welcome to Galaxy Burger, what can I get for you today? Uh yeah, just give me a sec, it's a last meal situation, he's usually really good at this.
Woman: Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to pull over the side if you're not ready to order.
Okay, you know what, fine, I'll take a hot dog and a hamburger, and make 'em combos, give me a milk for the dog, a coke for me.
Make it a diet coke, I'm a lady.
You guys got chicken fingers? Woman: First window, please.
Is that-is that a no? [Sighs.]
Ohh! Eat up, Ol.
As far as last meals go, I think your friends would be pretty jealous.
Lady, that food will straight up kill your dog.
There's an amazing documentary about it on Netflix.
Yeah, that's not so much a concern right now, because this little guy has terminal cancer, and I'm about to put to sleep.
So thanks.
That is terrible! I am so sorry.
Um Stay strong.
Ta dah! Come sit with me.
I'm so tired.
I had to walk her around the block a million times to help her to go to sleep! Okay, come sit with me.
Come on.
Here, sit on the back.
Come on, come on, come on! Feel-oh! You got enough room? Okay, feel the power of this wet Clay.
It's as close as you're gonna feel to being god Or a salamander.
- Isn't it cool? It's so cool.
- Frankie, no! Pottery is your thing to help you get better.
Yeah, but come on, gee, let's create as one! I said no, I'm tired! I'm not in the mood to try to recreate the most impractical sex scene in history.
But you love "Ghost.
" I love to watch the movie "Ghost," not be in the movie "Ghost!" [Sighs.]
Look, you want to watch it together? No, we're supposed to do something fun together! We always watch stuff.
Come on, you are Seriously, seriously.
You are gonna love it, just hold it there.
Oh, Frankie! No, no, you'll love it, you've gotta feel it! Frankie, Frankie! I'm going to take a bath.
Alone! [Sighs.]
Oh yeah, oh yeah all right, all right trying to make sense of it all tonight oh no, oh no here we go, here we go [Olly barks.]
- [Snarls.]
- Keep away! Keep away! You don't have to get-ow! Hey, not helpful, Olly! - [Barks.]
- Oh, hey! - [Barks.]
- Jesus! [Dogs bark.]
Candace: My goodness, is that Oliver? We haven't seen him in such a long time! - And you're - Uh, Kate Foster.
I've been coming here over a decade.
Oh, yes, of course, Oliver's mumsy! Ooh wow, it has been a long time.
When's the last time you got his little teeth cleaned? Oh, um Well, it's been a while, but that's actually not why we're It looks like October 19th.
And he needs all his shots.
We are just way overdue with you! Yeah, sorry, it's just, I have a kid now.
Well, Oliver is your kid.
So, should we get him up to date on everything? Poor little guy.
[Light breathing.]
[Gasps.]
Oh god! - You still awake? - I need to fire Mean Nanny.
What?! Come on, why? She's so great with Alice.
There's such a thing as too great.
I think she's neglecting her other duties to be best friends with our kid.
Uh, I'm gonna have to disagree with you, I mean, if anything, Alice has become more helpful around the house, and she's pitching in more, and they've become friends on top of it I wanna be Alice's friend! That little asshole.
Oh babe, you're friends.
No! Remember when they were little, and they used to just love us no matter what? Even when we make mistakes? [Sighs.]
I'm loving the Anne that I'm seeing here right now.
- Wait, are you crying? - No.
But I'm getting there, because you are steel, and nothing gets to you.
And this isn't about Mean Nanny, this is about you having an opportunity to connect with your daughter in your own way.
I'm just not an ooey-gooey mom.
No, no.
No, you're not one of those like, sweet, sensitive, kind of bubbly, effervescent moms, - who's always giggling, and - Okay, easy.
But you're a great mom, you're our rock.
I mean, nobody is better equipped to bond like hell with our daughter than you.
You know who else I wanna bond with? - Joyce? - Who the fuck is Joyce? Wasn't that the name of the uh, woman you liked at the PTA? You-you said she had nice hair, like you said No, no, no! - Okay, who? - You, you idiot! - Ohh - Yes.
Oh! [Door opens and shuts.]
[Collar clinks.]
You're a good girl, Katie.
Yes, you are.
What is love but a constant struggle Watch the wrist.
What's the heart but the pounding What are we when the tide is sinking What is fate I don't know now How's he adjusting? You guys look like two peas in a pod.
- Um - Oh my god! Rosie, are you okay? Well, Olly actually bit me yesterday.
On the face, it was pretty bad.
Um, it was like he wanted to eat me.
I am so sorry! Is that blood? It was my fault.
Did you have him Put down? Of course not! Why would I put him down just because he bit me? That's a horrible thing.
But did you, um, maybe feed him a whole family of hot dogs, or There was an incident in my dad's Astrovan, and it turns out it's pretty expensive to get it pressure washed.
On the inside.
- Of course I will cover that.
- Thank you.
I'm glad he's alive, and it was a double dog.
- And a milkshake.
- Yeah A couple fries.
You watch porn, right? Uh, no.