1600 Penn s01e03 Episode Script
So You Don’t Want to Dance?
1 Hey, how you feeling? Oh, I'm okay.
The morning sickness has receded.
I am having some really weird cravings though.
Don't give in to those-- that's the fetus fighting for dominance.
Wait, what time is it? 11:17.
It's 11:17? It's 11:17?! Senator Thoroughgood, this is a good bill that will put more math and science teachers into the classroom.
Did you know America's kids rank 32nd in the world in algebra? Algebra.
You know that word has Arabic roots.
11:17! It's 11:17! Sorry.
Coming through.
My bad.
Hey.
I should've just gone in front of you.
I don't know why I did that.
Hi, momily! Sorry, sir! It's 11:17.
Thank you for your service.
Oh.
Hey, Stacey.
Didn't expect to bump into you here.
Hey.
Hey.
You come here often? Yeah.
I know I know you do.
You come here every day.
I can feel your eyes burning through my soul, Patty.
You don't just jump in and ask someone out.
I'm laying groundwork.
I know it's frustrating for you.
The back and forth.
The will-they-or-won't-they.
All right, fine.
Stacey! Uh, hey, um I just wanted to say that before I die, I want to go to Asia.
Me, too.
Wow.
How long have you been waiting for that moment? Mm.
We're joined by President Dale Gilchrist and First Lady Emily Nash Gilchrist.
Mr.
President, you're pressing for a vote on a set of controversial education reforms.
- Your critics have said - Look, there's nothing controversial about this bill.
Just common sense steps.
More math and science teachers in the classroom and and more support for programs that actually excite kids about learning.
Interesting.
Mrs.
Gilchrist, where do you stand on sleeves? I'm sorry, Savannah.
What? You're so stylish and your outfits are amazing.
People are talking about your outfits.
It's a hot topic.
Well, okay.
First of all, thank you.
Um, but if we could just get back to education-- it really is a passion of mine.
But that's not your only passion.
I understand you studied classical dance.
In fact, I think we have some video of you in a leotard.
Justin, can we roll that clip? Oh, Justin, you don't have to do that.
Yes, I was a dancer.
Right before I became a lawyer for 15 years.
And today I am leading our efforts to you are rolling that clip, aren't you? Yes, ma'am.
Wow.
Look at those arms.
Any diet tips? And tomorrow night, the President and First Lady will be holding a gala to honor senator Frohm Thoroughgood for his 50 years in the senate.
Yes.
How does the president feel about honoring a man who claimed until 1978 that the civil war ended in a draw? President Gilchrist and senator Thoroughgood have not always seen eye to eye, but the president has-has great respect for the senator's long service to this country.
The man's - a monster.
- He's been on the wrong side of history for half a century.
In the sixties he tried to ban interracial dancing.
He was the inspiration for hairspray.
I think you guys are being a little hard on him.
It says here he marched in Selma with Martin Luther king.
And I'm continuing to read, and it's getting much worse.
There he is with a baton and a group of men dressed as ghosts.
Look, in the senate, you don't get power for being right, you get it for being old.
It's not popular to say, but the founding fathers really screwed the pooch on this one.
I'm really not looking forward to this ball.
It's just all these events are so uncomfortable for me now that the news broke.
Look, pretty soon your brother here is gonna do something so strange and embarrassing that the whole pregnancy thing will be quickly overshadowed.
I'm here for you, sis.
Besides, I think the ball is gonna be fun.
The dancing, the formal wear.
It'll be just like prom, the movie about prom.
I've never been to a prom.
You should ask that cute mailroom girl to go with you.
I don't know.
I don't want to ruin - what we have.
- You mean you staring at her every morning as she walks by? Yeah.
You know what? Sometimes in life you just have to go for what you want.
What's your favorite thing in the world? Pizza! No, ninjas.
No, pizza.
And fantasy football, which is when I imagine dad and I playing football together-- he's the quarterback, I'm the only receiver he trusts Let's go with pizza-- if this girl were the last piece of pizza on earth, you'd go for her, right? It depends on when I had lunch.
At the very least, I would lick her so that no one else would eat her.
Just ask her out, Skip.
Okay.
Good day, sir.
Are you the mailroom supervisor here? That's right.
I would like permission to ask your employee, Stacey Kim, to be my date to the formal white house ball tomorrow night.
I'm a good man and a hard worker, sir.
Okay.
I won't let you down.
Skip? Eat the pizza.
What are you doing here? Can I talk to you for a second? I have a quick question that could alter the course of both of our lives.
Okay What's up? Okay.
Here goes.
Stacey Kim, would you do me the honor of being my date-- Keep going, Skip-- To the gala tomorrow night? Wow.
That sounds amazing.
But We're just going as friends, right? Yes.
Right now we are just friends.
Okay.
I would love to go with you as friends.
Awesome.
It's a date.
It's not a date.
Not a date.
We'll put a pin in the romance.
No pin, Skip.
No pin, Skip.
Too sharp.
Yeah.
You get pricked.
- I'm in! - Are you? It really doesn't seem like it.
Becca, Becca, Becca.
That sounds like a helicopter.
Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca Skip, what's your point? You know how some guys are really good at picking up girls at bars? Yeah, you know.
That's not me.
Me? I'm more of a ball guy-- the slimming black tuxedo, the witty repartee.
It all plays to my strengths.
Especially the dancing.
A lot of people have told me I'm like a young Fred Astaire.
Do you know who that is? Is that a-a compliment? I just I don't want you to get hurt.
You know, sometimes your imagination runs wild.
Strangers become friends.
Friends become dates.
Dates become romantically exclusive.
We'll talk about this magical night at our wedding.
Our wedding! I'm s I'm so sorry.
What-what was your concern? Just be careful, Skip.
Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca That's our priority, and that means doing a better job stretching - our educational dollar.
- Speaking of stretching, Mrs.
Gilchrist, as a classically trained dancer, can you still touch your head to your knee? I just don't like talking about the dancing thing.
It's objectifying.
Be honest, when you hear a woman is a classically trained dancer, what do you think? Well, it's artistic.
It's cultured.
It's sex with a pretzel lady.
We're simple creatures.
This isn't just about one interview.
What's bothering you? Just Remember back in Nevada, when I was running your campaign for governor? We were crisscrossing the state in that beat-up van.
Yeah, smelled like cats and the last owner died in it.
Those were good times.
I know, right? See, back then, we were a team.
Now, I don't know, I feel like everyone thinks I'm just this shiny object honey you lug around.
Honey, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.
And together we're gonna drag that education bill over the finish line.
It's never getting out of the senate.
We just need one vote.
I say we take another run at Thoroughgood.
No way.
He's craven, un principled and therefore open to making a deal.
Exactly.
Sir? Thoroughgood is here.
I told him I'd see if you all were ready.
And then he told me he was impressed by how articulate I am.
Racist compliments.
Bittersweet.
Let's do this.
Okay, congress recesses tomorrow, so they're going into one of those late-night sessions.
That means the vote is probably gonna be tonight after the ball.
We are not letting him leave until we reach an agreement.
We can't keep him here forever.
I'm just trying to psych us up.
Oh, that's good.
Mr.
President.
Sorry, I'm late.
My aide drives like an Hawaiian.
Well, uh, we won't waste a lot of your time, senator.
We want your vote on my education bill.
I didn't realize we were bringing our wives to the meeting.
Excuse me? Senator, we've had our differences, but you know that boys and girls in your state are gonna benefit from these investments in math and science.
Well, of course I do.
But my mind has been wracked with other matters.
Now, perhaps if you might address some of my unrelated concerns-- in the highway bill, for instance-- I might be able to see more lucidly the merits of your education reforms.
Well, I'm glad to see you're open to what Emily has put together here.
Emily, be a doll and fetch me a sazerac.
Rye or bourbon, whatever's easy.
And if we're building a highway, we might just well build an off-ramp to a new army base.
Uh, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
You should be for this because it's the right thing to do.
Ooh, such strong opinions.
It is my proposal.
Well, don't get hysterical.
Men are talking.
All right! You know what? You may have power, but you are a sad, mean, awful man.
And long after you die, your descendants will apologize for the shameful legacy that you leave behind.
So what do you say? We have a deal? I'm sitting on top of the world I'm floating like clouds in the sky Excuse me, sir, do you know how to tie a bow tie? I'm sitting on top of the world Good evening, Mr.
mailroom supervisor.
Is Stacey ready for the ball? No idea.
Is this okay? I didn't know if I should wear Stacey, shut your beautiful, magical mouth.
You look so elegant, like Queen Amidala but when she's dressed as Padmé-- not too showy but still super hot and ready to take on the trade federation.
Thank you.
Believe it or not, that's the look I was going for.
Sir, I assure you, my intentions are strictly honorable.
I really don't care.
Is that a corsage? No, they're flowers.
Look, senator, about earlier, uh Yes, I'm deeply sorry if my words caused you any Your words caused me great injury.
But I can tell you this-- it's gonna be very difficult for me to find the strength to support your bill while I'm still nursing these dagger wounds.
Difficult.
But not impossible? What you said hurt me, but I know that there are others who share your misconceptions.
Now, you tell them I am not the monster they think I am.
Make a toast to me.
Say some flowery words written by your best Jew.
We're back in the game.
I am not telling a bunch of lies to make that man look good.
We're not gonna lie; we'll just avoid saying the bad parts.
It'll be a short speech.
Hi! Ah, you must be Stacey.
Emperor Thoroughgood, how are you? Well, who is this spicy little dumpling? After a romp with her, are you horny half an hour later? Excuse me? It's okay, Skip.
No, it most certainly is not okay.
You show some respect, you old racist bastard! Well This boy's got gumption.
Oh, lordy.
Well look who I get to sit next to! Hi.
I'm Bunny Thoroughgood.
Wife of the senator.
Hi.
I knew several unwed mothers back in Pacawsha county whose lives turned out to be worthwhile.
Thank you.
And there were two bastards in the gifted class with our grandson Percy.
And they mixed right in with the non-bastards? So progressive! All right, maybe we should find some pictures and make it a multimedia thing.
Good idea.
Ooh, look, there he is pointing A fire hose at civil rights protesters.
Should we call in a speechwriter? The vote's in half an hour.
We got to do this ourselves, like in the old days.
In the old days, I had to write speeches in a bra 'cause there was no air-conditioning in that van.
I can tell you this now.
There was air-conditioning.
That was really sweet of you sticking up for me back there with senator Thoroughgood.
Hey, I'm not afraid to speak my mind.
The key is to not consider the consequences.
You're funny.
I feel funny.
Single dads-- that's where you should be looking.
They're damaged, too.
Excuse me, ma'am, I was wondering if I might borrow Becca for a minute? Really? We were having such a nice time.
Yes, well, I need Becca to do an interview on the importance of abstinence.
At this hour? Uh, yes, yes! It is night, and every minute that we wait, we are just losing teens to hormones and parked cars It's the culture, with Facebook, alcohol with caffeine in it I am so sorry.
Go, tell your cautionary tale.
Thank you, thank you.
Uh, hello? Excuse me? Hello? Testing.
Is this thing on?! Hey.
Uh, my name is Skip Gilchrist.
I'm that man's son, son of the free world, and I would like to say a few words, a few words about two very special women.
The first happens to be to my right.
This beautiful dolphin in turquoise.
You gave me the courage to make this night a reality.
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be standing up here right now.
Oh, no.
I don't want to take any credit for whatever's about to happen.
Guys, a little, uh, Chris de Burgh, please? "Lady in Red"? No? You don't know that? That's very surprising.
Okay.
Just something mid-tempo romantic, then? There you go.
Stacey-- would everybody please divert their eyes and stare at that beautiful Asian in red right over there.
I believe there's only one Asian in the room, so it won't be difficult.
Stacey we began this night as friends, but we are not robots.
None of us are robots.
At least to my knowledge, none of us are.
We feel, we change and we grow.
Can I get a spotlight, please? No? No spotlight? Never mind.
No worries.
Stacey Kim In front of all of these good people, will you be my girlfriend? Oh, God.
I don't feel comfortable answering that in this forum.
If I asked you in private, would you be my girlfriend? Make him stop.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Stacey Kim, everybody.
Okay, I'm not gonna lie-- that was very embarrassing.
Son of a bitch.
Spotlight guy's back from break.
Everyone is just staring at me right now, and I'm continuing talking to you.
Somebody stop me please Skip! Well, what can you say about Senator Thoroughgood? What can you say? Well, he's a man who never stopped fighting for the causes that matter to him.
And there he is.
Frohm.
Mm, mm.
How many more pieces of cake before this becomes embarrassing? Two ago.
Mm.
You know this is actually the first time that we've hung out since we broke up.
Since you broke up with me.
Right.
Well, you clearly moved on.
Yeah, this was all totally part of my plan, Marshall.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Look, I just I don't want things to be weird between us.
We had a secret relationship.
You're not pregnant with somebody else's baby.
I have to see you every day.
I work for your father.
Who is the most powerful man in the world.
What's weird about that? You name it, he was there-- women's rights, immigration, poverty, he's been right there, fighting the battle.
Hard.
Fighting hard.
My God, I can feel my soul burning.
Remember the kids.
Homestretch.
So let's raise a glass to a senator who has really left his mark-- the one and only Frohm Thoroughgood.
We love you, Frohmy.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Well, that was one heck of a speech, young lady-- were those kind words from the heart? I said 'em, didn't I? You've managed to change my perspective.
I just might back your legislation.
Are you serious? Women! Women are so gullible.
It's a consequence of your skull size.
We had a deal! Just stick to dancing, toots.
Sir The leadership just called a vote.
All the senators are heading over now.
Oh, can't believe that we're going down this way.
We're down by one vote, right? Yeah.
Well, maybe if we can't get him to vote yes, we can prevent him from voting no.
What are you saying? Maybe I should listen to Thoroughgood.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? I know we're wrapping things up here, but I actually have a special treat in honor of senator Thoroughgood.
Give me a tango.
Word on the street is, you're a pretty good dancer.
I'm surprisingly light on my feet-- what's it to you? I've got a vote to get to.
Dip me.
Prepare to be dipped.
I feel so safe in your arms.
I got a vote to get to.
Nice work, pretzel lady.
That's First Pretzel Lady to you.
Spin me.
Prepare to be spinned.
Mm! Make way! You're blocking my ingress.
Are you even American? I am encircled! So they're basically keeping an elderly wheelchair-bound man from getting to work? Mm-hmm.
Believe it or not, this is how a lot of bills get passed.
Saved you a piece of cake, sweetie.
Oh, is it good? Sir, ma'am, good news.
The bill passed by just one vote.
Oh God, I'd love to see the look on Thoroughgood's face when he finds out.
Should we wake him? Nah.
Let him sleep.
We're joined by First Lady Emily Nash-Gilchrist.
Mrs.
Gilchrist, where do you stand on increased funding for the Pell grant, this would be the education budget for the coming fiscal year.
That is a great question.
The morning sickness has receded.
I am having some really weird cravings though.
Don't give in to those-- that's the fetus fighting for dominance.
Wait, what time is it? 11:17.
It's 11:17? It's 11:17?! Senator Thoroughgood, this is a good bill that will put more math and science teachers into the classroom.
Did you know America's kids rank 32nd in the world in algebra? Algebra.
You know that word has Arabic roots.
11:17! It's 11:17! Sorry.
Coming through.
My bad.
Hey.
I should've just gone in front of you.
I don't know why I did that.
Hi, momily! Sorry, sir! It's 11:17.
Thank you for your service.
Oh.
Hey, Stacey.
Didn't expect to bump into you here.
Hey.
Hey.
You come here often? Yeah.
I know I know you do.
You come here every day.
I can feel your eyes burning through my soul, Patty.
You don't just jump in and ask someone out.
I'm laying groundwork.
I know it's frustrating for you.
The back and forth.
The will-they-or-won't-they.
All right, fine.
Stacey! Uh, hey, um I just wanted to say that before I die, I want to go to Asia.
Me, too.
Wow.
How long have you been waiting for that moment? Mm.
We're joined by President Dale Gilchrist and First Lady Emily Nash Gilchrist.
Mr.
President, you're pressing for a vote on a set of controversial education reforms.
- Your critics have said - Look, there's nothing controversial about this bill.
Just common sense steps.
More math and science teachers in the classroom and and more support for programs that actually excite kids about learning.
Interesting.
Mrs.
Gilchrist, where do you stand on sleeves? I'm sorry, Savannah.
What? You're so stylish and your outfits are amazing.
People are talking about your outfits.
It's a hot topic.
Well, okay.
First of all, thank you.
Um, but if we could just get back to education-- it really is a passion of mine.
But that's not your only passion.
I understand you studied classical dance.
In fact, I think we have some video of you in a leotard.
Justin, can we roll that clip? Oh, Justin, you don't have to do that.
Yes, I was a dancer.
Right before I became a lawyer for 15 years.
And today I am leading our efforts to you are rolling that clip, aren't you? Yes, ma'am.
Wow.
Look at those arms.
Any diet tips? And tomorrow night, the President and First Lady will be holding a gala to honor senator Frohm Thoroughgood for his 50 years in the senate.
Yes.
How does the president feel about honoring a man who claimed until 1978 that the civil war ended in a draw? President Gilchrist and senator Thoroughgood have not always seen eye to eye, but the president has-has great respect for the senator's long service to this country.
The man's - a monster.
- He's been on the wrong side of history for half a century.
In the sixties he tried to ban interracial dancing.
He was the inspiration for hairspray.
I think you guys are being a little hard on him.
It says here he marched in Selma with Martin Luther king.
And I'm continuing to read, and it's getting much worse.
There he is with a baton and a group of men dressed as ghosts.
Look, in the senate, you don't get power for being right, you get it for being old.
It's not popular to say, but the founding fathers really screwed the pooch on this one.
I'm really not looking forward to this ball.
It's just all these events are so uncomfortable for me now that the news broke.
Look, pretty soon your brother here is gonna do something so strange and embarrassing that the whole pregnancy thing will be quickly overshadowed.
I'm here for you, sis.
Besides, I think the ball is gonna be fun.
The dancing, the formal wear.
It'll be just like prom, the movie about prom.
I've never been to a prom.
You should ask that cute mailroom girl to go with you.
I don't know.
I don't want to ruin - what we have.
- You mean you staring at her every morning as she walks by? Yeah.
You know what? Sometimes in life you just have to go for what you want.
What's your favorite thing in the world? Pizza! No, ninjas.
No, pizza.
And fantasy football, which is when I imagine dad and I playing football together-- he's the quarterback, I'm the only receiver he trusts Let's go with pizza-- if this girl were the last piece of pizza on earth, you'd go for her, right? It depends on when I had lunch.
At the very least, I would lick her so that no one else would eat her.
Just ask her out, Skip.
Okay.
Good day, sir.
Are you the mailroom supervisor here? That's right.
I would like permission to ask your employee, Stacey Kim, to be my date to the formal white house ball tomorrow night.
I'm a good man and a hard worker, sir.
Okay.
I won't let you down.
Skip? Eat the pizza.
What are you doing here? Can I talk to you for a second? I have a quick question that could alter the course of both of our lives.
Okay What's up? Okay.
Here goes.
Stacey Kim, would you do me the honor of being my date-- Keep going, Skip-- To the gala tomorrow night? Wow.
That sounds amazing.
But We're just going as friends, right? Yes.
Right now we are just friends.
Okay.
I would love to go with you as friends.
Awesome.
It's a date.
It's not a date.
Not a date.
We'll put a pin in the romance.
No pin, Skip.
No pin, Skip.
Too sharp.
Yeah.
You get pricked.
- I'm in! - Are you? It really doesn't seem like it.
Becca, Becca, Becca.
That sounds like a helicopter.
Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca Skip, what's your point? You know how some guys are really good at picking up girls at bars? Yeah, you know.
That's not me.
Me? I'm more of a ball guy-- the slimming black tuxedo, the witty repartee.
It all plays to my strengths.
Especially the dancing.
A lot of people have told me I'm like a young Fred Astaire.
Do you know who that is? Is that a-a compliment? I just I don't want you to get hurt.
You know, sometimes your imagination runs wild.
Strangers become friends.
Friends become dates.
Dates become romantically exclusive.
We'll talk about this magical night at our wedding.
Our wedding! I'm s I'm so sorry.
What-what was your concern? Just be careful, Skip.
Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca, Becca That's our priority, and that means doing a better job stretching - our educational dollar.
- Speaking of stretching, Mrs.
Gilchrist, as a classically trained dancer, can you still touch your head to your knee? I just don't like talking about the dancing thing.
It's objectifying.
Be honest, when you hear a woman is a classically trained dancer, what do you think? Well, it's artistic.
It's cultured.
It's sex with a pretzel lady.
We're simple creatures.
This isn't just about one interview.
What's bothering you? Just Remember back in Nevada, when I was running your campaign for governor? We were crisscrossing the state in that beat-up van.
Yeah, smelled like cats and the last owner died in it.
Those were good times.
I know, right? See, back then, we were a team.
Now, I don't know, I feel like everyone thinks I'm just this shiny object honey you lug around.
Honey, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.
And together we're gonna drag that education bill over the finish line.
It's never getting out of the senate.
We just need one vote.
I say we take another run at Thoroughgood.
No way.
He's craven, un principled and therefore open to making a deal.
Exactly.
Sir? Thoroughgood is here.
I told him I'd see if you all were ready.
And then he told me he was impressed by how articulate I am.
Racist compliments.
Bittersweet.
Let's do this.
Okay, congress recesses tomorrow, so they're going into one of those late-night sessions.
That means the vote is probably gonna be tonight after the ball.
We are not letting him leave until we reach an agreement.
We can't keep him here forever.
I'm just trying to psych us up.
Oh, that's good.
Mr.
President.
Sorry, I'm late.
My aide drives like an Hawaiian.
Well, uh, we won't waste a lot of your time, senator.
We want your vote on my education bill.
I didn't realize we were bringing our wives to the meeting.
Excuse me? Senator, we've had our differences, but you know that boys and girls in your state are gonna benefit from these investments in math and science.
Well, of course I do.
But my mind has been wracked with other matters.
Now, perhaps if you might address some of my unrelated concerns-- in the highway bill, for instance-- I might be able to see more lucidly the merits of your education reforms.
Well, I'm glad to see you're open to what Emily has put together here.
Emily, be a doll and fetch me a sazerac.
Rye or bourbon, whatever's easy.
And if we're building a highway, we might just well build an off-ramp to a new army base.
Uh, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
You should be for this because it's the right thing to do.
Ooh, such strong opinions.
It is my proposal.
Well, don't get hysterical.
Men are talking.
All right! You know what? You may have power, but you are a sad, mean, awful man.
And long after you die, your descendants will apologize for the shameful legacy that you leave behind.
So what do you say? We have a deal? I'm sitting on top of the world I'm floating like clouds in the sky Excuse me, sir, do you know how to tie a bow tie? I'm sitting on top of the world Good evening, Mr.
mailroom supervisor.
Is Stacey ready for the ball? No idea.
Is this okay? I didn't know if I should wear Stacey, shut your beautiful, magical mouth.
You look so elegant, like Queen Amidala but when she's dressed as Padmé-- not too showy but still super hot and ready to take on the trade federation.
Thank you.
Believe it or not, that's the look I was going for.
Sir, I assure you, my intentions are strictly honorable.
I really don't care.
Is that a corsage? No, they're flowers.
Look, senator, about earlier, uh Yes, I'm deeply sorry if my words caused you any Your words caused me great injury.
But I can tell you this-- it's gonna be very difficult for me to find the strength to support your bill while I'm still nursing these dagger wounds.
Difficult.
But not impossible? What you said hurt me, but I know that there are others who share your misconceptions.
Now, you tell them I am not the monster they think I am.
Make a toast to me.
Say some flowery words written by your best Jew.
We're back in the game.
I am not telling a bunch of lies to make that man look good.
We're not gonna lie; we'll just avoid saying the bad parts.
It'll be a short speech.
Hi! Ah, you must be Stacey.
Emperor Thoroughgood, how are you? Well, who is this spicy little dumpling? After a romp with her, are you horny half an hour later? Excuse me? It's okay, Skip.
No, it most certainly is not okay.
You show some respect, you old racist bastard! Well This boy's got gumption.
Oh, lordy.
Well look who I get to sit next to! Hi.
I'm Bunny Thoroughgood.
Wife of the senator.
Hi.
I knew several unwed mothers back in Pacawsha county whose lives turned out to be worthwhile.
Thank you.
And there were two bastards in the gifted class with our grandson Percy.
And they mixed right in with the non-bastards? So progressive! All right, maybe we should find some pictures and make it a multimedia thing.
Good idea.
Ooh, look, there he is pointing A fire hose at civil rights protesters.
Should we call in a speechwriter? The vote's in half an hour.
We got to do this ourselves, like in the old days.
In the old days, I had to write speeches in a bra 'cause there was no air-conditioning in that van.
I can tell you this now.
There was air-conditioning.
That was really sweet of you sticking up for me back there with senator Thoroughgood.
Hey, I'm not afraid to speak my mind.
The key is to not consider the consequences.
You're funny.
I feel funny.
Single dads-- that's where you should be looking.
They're damaged, too.
Excuse me, ma'am, I was wondering if I might borrow Becca for a minute? Really? We were having such a nice time.
Yes, well, I need Becca to do an interview on the importance of abstinence.
At this hour? Uh, yes, yes! It is night, and every minute that we wait, we are just losing teens to hormones and parked cars It's the culture, with Facebook, alcohol with caffeine in it I am so sorry.
Go, tell your cautionary tale.
Thank you, thank you.
Uh, hello? Excuse me? Hello? Testing.
Is this thing on?! Hey.
Uh, my name is Skip Gilchrist.
I'm that man's son, son of the free world, and I would like to say a few words, a few words about two very special women.
The first happens to be to my right.
This beautiful dolphin in turquoise.
You gave me the courage to make this night a reality.
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be standing up here right now.
Oh, no.
I don't want to take any credit for whatever's about to happen.
Guys, a little, uh, Chris de Burgh, please? "Lady in Red"? No? You don't know that? That's very surprising.
Okay.
Just something mid-tempo romantic, then? There you go.
Stacey-- would everybody please divert their eyes and stare at that beautiful Asian in red right over there.
I believe there's only one Asian in the room, so it won't be difficult.
Stacey we began this night as friends, but we are not robots.
None of us are robots.
At least to my knowledge, none of us are.
We feel, we change and we grow.
Can I get a spotlight, please? No? No spotlight? Never mind.
No worries.
Stacey Kim In front of all of these good people, will you be my girlfriend? Oh, God.
I don't feel comfortable answering that in this forum.
If I asked you in private, would you be my girlfriend? Make him stop.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Stacey Kim, everybody.
Okay, I'm not gonna lie-- that was very embarrassing.
Son of a bitch.
Spotlight guy's back from break.
Everyone is just staring at me right now, and I'm continuing talking to you.
Somebody stop me please Skip! Well, what can you say about Senator Thoroughgood? What can you say? Well, he's a man who never stopped fighting for the causes that matter to him.
And there he is.
Frohm.
Mm, mm.
How many more pieces of cake before this becomes embarrassing? Two ago.
Mm.
You know this is actually the first time that we've hung out since we broke up.
Since you broke up with me.
Right.
Well, you clearly moved on.
Yeah, this was all totally part of my plan, Marshall.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Look, I just I don't want things to be weird between us.
We had a secret relationship.
You're not pregnant with somebody else's baby.
I have to see you every day.
I work for your father.
Who is the most powerful man in the world.
What's weird about that? You name it, he was there-- women's rights, immigration, poverty, he's been right there, fighting the battle.
Hard.
Fighting hard.
My God, I can feel my soul burning.
Remember the kids.
Homestretch.
So let's raise a glass to a senator who has really left his mark-- the one and only Frohm Thoroughgood.
We love you, Frohmy.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Well, that was one heck of a speech, young lady-- were those kind words from the heart? I said 'em, didn't I? You've managed to change my perspective.
I just might back your legislation.
Are you serious? Women! Women are so gullible.
It's a consequence of your skull size.
We had a deal! Just stick to dancing, toots.
Sir The leadership just called a vote.
All the senators are heading over now.
Oh, can't believe that we're going down this way.
We're down by one vote, right? Yeah.
Well, maybe if we can't get him to vote yes, we can prevent him from voting no.
What are you saying? Maybe I should listen to Thoroughgood.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? I know we're wrapping things up here, but I actually have a special treat in honor of senator Thoroughgood.
Give me a tango.
Word on the street is, you're a pretty good dancer.
I'm surprisingly light on my feet-- what's it to you? I've got a vote to get to.
Dip me.
Prepare to be dipped.
I feel so safe in your arms.
I got a vote to get to.
Nice work, pretzel lady.
That's First Pretzel Lady to you.
Spin me.
Prepare to be spinned.
Mm! Make way! You're blocking my ingress.
Are you even American? I am encircled! So they're basically keeping an elderly wheelchair-bound man from getting to work? Mm-hmm.
Believe it or not, this is how a lot of bills get passed.
Saved you a piece of cake, sweetie.
Oh, is it good? Sir, ma'am, good news.
The bill passed by just one vote.
Oh God, I'd love to see the look on Thoroughgood's face when he finds out.
Should we wake him? Nah.
Let him sleep.
We're joined by First Lady Emily Nash-Gilchrist.
Mrs.
Gilchrist, where do you stand on increased funding for the Pell grant, this would be the education budget for the coming fiscal year.
That is a great question.