8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter s01e17 Episode Script

Drummer Boy: Part 1

Hi, Kerry.
- Oh, hi, Jason.
- Hi, Mrs.
Well Kerry? So I thought you and Jason broke it off.
We did, but Mr.
Reynolds teamed us up to work on this history project.
Ah So I guess "on-again, off-again" is on again.
Sounds like fate.
Sounds like his name follows mine alphabetically.
But we'll see.
- What's that? - Mount Vesuvius.
We're trying to show how its eruption helped preserve the Pompeian culture for future generations to study.
You know what? You could melt some of my army men to look like the slower villagers.
I like it.
You're in luck.
I was just going upstairs to melt some.
You know, if the FBI is looking through our trash, he'll be the reason.
That's funny, Mrs.
Well, thanks, Jason.
I like your mom.
She's nice, pretty, smart.
What did you say? Um Your mom was nice and smart.
And pretty.
You said my mom was pretty.
You never said I was pretty when we were dating.
I thought it was implied.
Because you are, real pretty.
- As pretty as my mom? - Well, yeah.
Wrong answer! So what, you're gonna say my mom is pretty and then leave? Yeah.
Hey, Care Bear, seems like old times.
I come into a room, Jason runs out.
- Yeah.
- Don't you look pretty today? Stay out of my life.
Yeah, seems like old times.
- Hey, Bridget up yet? - No.
She was out all night at a concert again.
I caught her sneaking in again.
Now she's sleeping half the day again.
I tell you, I'm letting her have it this time.
Yeah, because that's a proven solution.
- What, you've got a better idea? - Well, I don't know.
It just seems all this yelling and grounding is having no impact.
We need a new plan.
We need to try a gentler approach.
Well, that's interesting, but I want to yell.
Maybe if I yell louder and ground longer.
Not the attitude I was looking for.
How about we try working together? You know, partners.
See if we can't win one this time.
It'd be nice to win one.
- Morning.
Well, technically.
- Just follow my lead.
Uh, Bridget, we need to talk to you for a second.
If this is about catching me sneak in last night, it won't happen again.
Does that mean you won't sneak in, or you won't let me catch you? Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.
Honey, it seems like you are spending an awful lot of time hanging out with your friends and going to clubs.
Can't you find a fraction of your free time to do something productive? I mean, really, concerts every weekend? - But I love music.
- Well, take up an instrument.
Oh, my God, that is so amazing you just said that.
I've been dreaming of playing in an all-girl band.
I've had the same dream, only in mine you're at Harvard becoming a doctor.
Last night I was with Mandy and Courtney, who thinks she's Alias, total sophomore.
This guy with a mullet hit on me.
"What's with the hair?" "Business in the front, party in the back.
" Gross! - Who would have a mullet? - Yeah, who? I was on the hockey team.
It kept my neck warm.
I was listening to this incredible music and it hit me.
I want to do that.
Well, then, do it.
Take up an instrument.
- OK.
- That is a good plan, although I miss the instant gratification of yelling, but I'm all for you taking up music.
You know, I played French horn in high school.
Yeah, I did know that.
- Honey, you pick your instrument.
- Right.
Whatever you want.
Drums? You got her drums? It was the only instrument that came in a color she liked.
Bridget sneaks in late and you punish her by buying her stuff? Who's a guy gotta kill to get a monkey around here? All right, Rory, that's it.
That's a dollar in the "No Talking About a Monkey" jar.
# I'm playing drums in my all-girl band # Check me out I look so hot # You wish you were me but you'll never be # 'Cause you're not in an all-girl band Ha! You're an idiot.
Isn't this what they do to drive dictators out of palaces? It's like those wind-up monkeys that clap cymbals and bongos.
And that little gem is gonna cost you a dollar.
Oh, yeah, hey, Fred.
You know, I've heard drumming too.
Well, your leaf blower can get pretty loud, but you don't catch me calling the cops.
Really? Because they told me it was confidential.
All right, OK, I'll see what I can do.
Cate, I cannot talk to another neighbor.
Will you take this, please? If that's Jason tell him I'm studying.
Use those exact words.
Got it.
Hello? Oh, hey, you.
So what you been up to, stranger? Uh, Kerry? Uh, no, Jason, she's studying.
Oh, all right.
I'll tell her you called.
OK, bye-bye.
OK, I'm gonna go jam.
Oh, Beach, before you do, I need to talk to you, honey.
Your mother and I are so proud that you're showing such enthusiasm about music.
- I like to hit the drums hard.
- Sort of picked up on that.
But have you ever considered letting someone, you know, show you how to you know, play? I don't want to take lessons.
That's why I picked drums.
I want to help you get closer to that all-girl band dream of yours and mine.
- So I hired you a drum teacher.
- Dad, I don't want a teacher.
I already know what I'm doing.
- I'm Ben, the drum teacher.
- Hi, Ben.
Thank you, Daddy.
Wow, is that Bridget? I'm really impressed.
No, that's Ben, her teacher.
That's Bridget.
You know, I was worried about that guy at first.
Now This guy is a professional.
Your plan really worked out great, Cate.
- Our plan.
- Partner.
You know, you've really grown.
I never thought I'd see the day when you'd be OK with your daughter being alone with a musician.
Why is it we always go for the musician? That's right, your high school boyfriend Rick.
He thought he was so hot because he jammed one time with The Monkees at some state fair.
Not now! Paul, calm down.
That's why I'm with you.
Writers are sexier.
Much sexier.
Why, your column on treasures in the attic Whoo! Get a hold of yourself.
There's nothing going on out there in the garage, just playing drums.
There goes Bridget.
That's Ben.
That's quiet.
Why is it quiet? Why is it quiet? Oh, hi, guys.
Cate Look at that.
Cate, the door doesn't stick anymore.
I fixed it.
- What are you talking about? - You're welcome.
So, uh how's the lesson going? - Great.
Just great.
OK, let's show your dad what I taught you.
You are a miracle worker.
That was close.
Let me show you again.
Oh, excuse me.
And then, pretty soon you'll be able to do this.
Oh, whoa! That's That's very sophisticated.
Well, Ben is a very sophisticated guy, Dad.
Hey, I won a hat! - Oh, no, I didn't.
- Sorry, excuse me, take that with you.
You know what? We really appreciate the lesson.
We have your number.
- Bye, Bridget.
- Bye, Ben.
See you next Saturday.
Wait, you scheduled another lesson with him? Actually ten.
- Ten? - It's cheaper that way.
- So how'd it go? - Oh, my God, Ben is so great, Mom.
You should see him play.
His hands are a blur.
Been there.
Thank you so much for setting us up, Daddy.
- I wouldn't actually call it a setup.
- I just love him! You You mean as a teacher, right? As a teacher, right? You still hear the fox you let into our henhouse? - You made her take lessons.
- You told her to take up music.
- You bought her drums.
- I wanted to yell at her.
Stop it! It upsets me when you two fight.
- Can I get a monkey? - No! I got it.
What are you doing here? Well, I've tried calling, but it's like you're always studying.
- Oh, God.
- Hello, Mrs.
I just came by to tell Kerry we got an A on our Mount Vesuvius.
What'd they say about the melted villagers? That we have to talk to the school psychologist.
- Your mom's got a great laugh.
- Get out! Paul, do you like my laugh? Daddy, Ben's in a band playing tonight.
He invited me to come along.
Oh, I'm sorry, I just wanted to hear it.
Bridget, you know you cannot date college boys.
Absolutely not! You don't even know him! You're so closed-minded! God! - What, you think I'm wrong about this? - No, no, no.
It's just a very delicate situation.
This is Bridget's first older man, and it's a musician.
They're intoxicating.
Very, very intoxicating.
Trust me.
I want to see your high school yearbooks.
I want to see if I'm better-looking than your precious Rick.
I told you I lost those yearbooks in that fire I had right after we met.
- You swear? - Swear.
Look, if we do it your way and say no, Bridget is gonna rebel.
We have to show her we're at least open-minded by talking to Ben.
And then? We tell him not to let the door hit his ass on his way out.
- Partner.
- Partner.
So, just tell us a little bit about yourself, Ben.
- What college do you go to? - Actually, I dropped out of college.
You hear that, Cate? He dropped out of college.
My dad died, so I moved back home to help Mom out.
I'm trying to get enough money so I can go back there.
That's when Mom's strong enough.
I see.
Just to be clear, you did drop out of college.
Dad! - Uh, so, Ben, you're in a band? - Oh, a band.
Tell us about that.
I bet that's all sorts of crazy fun.
Last week we did a show for the Children's Hospital.
- Really? - Yeah.
You gotta give back.
- Old people and animals? - Love 'em.
This is your fault.
I told you he was great.
OK, Ben, this is the thing.
We like you.
We just don't want Bridget going out with older guys.
- It's nothing personal.
- Nothing personal?! Ben is a very sensitive artist.
This will devastate him.
I understand.
I'll get you a T-shirt.
You know, you guys are so I'm a small You guys are so I hate you.
- Is that my high school yearbook? - Yeah.
Found it in the basement in the box marked "Grandma's stuff, keep out.
" God, you were popular.
You're practically on every page.
A few clubs, a few friends.
A date or two.
Who's Rick? You had tons of boyfriends.
This is like Bridget's yearbook.
- Kerry.
- Look what some of these guys wrote.
- Mom, you were like a Bond girl.
- OK, all right.
Now look, I don't think we need to let your father see this.
Oh, really? Damn.
I guess we're getting a monkey.
Bridget's still practicing? I admire her dedication, but is she getting worse? She's just taking out her anger.
It's getting kind of late, Paul.
We ought to bring her inside.
Better she's angry out there than in here.
I'll give her till Fred calls.
- I'm up.
- All right.
Just don't yell at her.
- Hey! - Rory? - Oh.
- Where's Bridget? I can't tell you.
Rory, we don't keep secrets in this family.
Mom's got yearbooks.
Oh, you mean Bridget.
She snuck off to see Ben's concert.
I'm her decoy.
I knew you had yearbooks.
You can stop building that little monkey bed right now! Can you believe Dad? He shows up at the club, walks in like this, and then he comes in and grabs me before I can even see Ben.
Dad? Mom.
Mom is unbelievable.
She's totally been flirting with Jason.
Did you know Mom was popular in high school? - She dated a musician.
- Oh, really? Maybe he's my real father.
Yeah, that was my point.
So he's a couple years older.
What's the big deal? What if Ben and I are destined to be together? What if he's the one? - The one? - Yeah.
You've never had a one.
Last summer you were down to three.
Kerry, Ben is my first not-a-high-school guy.
I mean, he's so experienced and worldly.
He's been to Hawaii.
Hawaii! He can vote.
He told me he didn't, but he can vote.
And he can buy beer in Canada.
You're right.
You should marry him.
You could honeymoon in Hawaii.
Hawaii! You are so still in high school.
It's just, when Ben looks at me, it's like I'm the only one in the room.
It's a private lesson in our garage.
You are the only one in the room.
I'm gonna go play bad so Dad doubles my lessons.
- OK.
Hey, if you see Mom - I know.
You're studying.
And you are staying home.
- Can we talk? - What's to talk about? You have nothing to apologize for.
- I didn't come in here to apologize.
- How can you not apologize? Look, Jason said I was pretty.
It was very nice to hear on a day that I worked and made dinner and did ten loads of laundry.
So sue me.
Isn't it bad enough that I have to compete with Bridget? Now I have to compete with you too? Wait a minute.
Honey, what's going on here? He said I was Mom-pretty.
You are a beautiful teenage girl.
You think this is some kind of competition? Yeah! And I'm losing.
You know, guys don't notice me when Bridget is around.
And Rory gets all this attention because he's the boy and the youngest.
And now It's like I'm invisible.
Not to me.
I see you.
Kerry, the moody middle child.
Well yeah.
Who also happens to be sensitive and caring and fantastic.
Oh, Kerry, honey, you make me feel so privileged to be your mother.
You have to say that.
It's in the manual or something.
You think if it was in the manual I'd go through all this? Ah, there you are.
See? You're not invisible.
Kerry, if you weren't my daughter, I'd want you to be my friend.
Yeah, right, you're not cool enough to hang out with me.
I know.
That's why I spend so much time with your father.
Yeah, I know.
Trust me, Fred, it sounds a lot louder over here.
So what do you think? - I'm sorry this is our last lesson.
- What? Yeah.
The coolest thing happened.
I'm going back to Ohio State.
My dad's old company came through with a scholarship.
- I can enroll this semester.
- But what about us? I mean, our lessons.
I'll keep in touch.
I want to know how you're doing.
OK? Whoa.
Um Bye, Bridget.
So how was the lesson? Who cares? My teacher quit, so I'm quitting too.
Bridget, don't quit just because I never want to see another musician again in my entire life.
Alrighty then.
I know I'm gonna hate myself for this, but Beach, as much as I like peace and quiet around here, I don't want you to give up something that you were so excited about a couple of weeks ago.
- Just think about that, will you? - OK.
- What's going on? - Ben's going back to college.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you OK? No, I wasn't OK, but then Dad gave me a little pep talk and told me I shouldn't give up on stuff.
For once I think he's right.
I'm not gonna give up.
Ben and I belong together.
Ben, this is for you.