Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s09e17 Episode Script

Son Of Rap Bear

1 [QUACKING] [WARBLE, ZAP!] [SCREECHES] Adventure time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's "Adventure Time" [RAPPING] C-C-C-C-Clam Rap Juicy like nectar My name is Neptr I stay rapping no matter what the weather I'm by the fire 'cause it's hot like a dryer Clams and rappin'.
Doesn't get any better than this, right, Phoebe? It's actually my first Clam Rap.
[BEATBOXING] [RAPPING] Clams, clams Ate this plate of clams Utensils weren't provided So I had to use my hands I'm gonna be unhappy If it happens agains Boom! [CHEERING] Princess, what you got? Yeah, dump it in, stir it up.
[RAPPING] I'm like a library book, so check me out Read my front and back cover so you know what I'm about I'm straight droolin', spittin' out rhymes People gather round and they're waitin' in lines I got a lot of combinations of words to throw To let you know I got glow I said it 'cause you just don't know So what now? What's up, what's up, bro? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] You beat me fair and square 'Cause maybe something's in the air I'm wearing unlucky shoes, not my favorite pair [AUDIENCE GROANS] [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] Hello there, young lady.
I heard you lay down some serious rhymes earlier.
[MUNCHES] My card.
FLAME PRINCESS: Victor Marilyn? I'm a talent scout by trade and, uh [MUNCHES] And I'd love to book you for a big-time rap battle next week Rap Fest Aid.
I've never heard of Rap Fest Aid.
It sure sounds like the big time.
But before I can book you anywhere, I'm gonna have to have you sign some waivers and release forms.
Boilerplate stuff.
Don't bother reading it.
I'll get this paperwork processed, and we'll be in business.
Toronto! [LAUGHS] Yes, it's me! And I'm making my move from second banana to top dog.
As stated in the contract that you just signed, if you lose Rap Fest Aid, the Fire Kingdom becomes my property.
What?! Aw, don't worry.
Look at this mug.
You could out-rap him any day of the week.
Oh, you won't be facing me.
You'll have to beat the most gifted rapper of our time.
Son of Rap Bear! See you in a week.
- Son of Rap Bear? - Son of Rap Bear? I wonder if he's any relation to Rap Bear.
Rap Bear lives in there? It's surprisingly nice.
Knock, knock.
Who's there? Rap Bear.
What happened? [GROANS] My son and I were having Sunday dinner.
We were lightly rapping back and forth.
It turned into a rap battle.
He threw out rhyme after rhyme.
I couldn't keep up.
You got beat by your own son? Are his rap powers that much greater than yours? Yes.
Why are you asking about my son? Flame Princess is going up against him one on one in a freestyle battle.
[GASPS] That kid will take you apart.
He rapped my legs off.
Rap Bear, Son of Rap Bear's father, said his son, Son of Rap Bear, would be at tonight's open mic.
Dude, let's sit back here.
[RAPPING] You're a small bear With fuzzy hair over there Get away from me, I don't wanna share my air Doesn't matter where, anywhere, everywhere with you Chop you in two with my rap kung fu Are you scared of me? Boo! [RAPPING] You're like a cookie who's about to crumble Your rapping is stale Also, you mumble Did you just make a mistake smellin' like a cake Who just stumbled into a lyrical rumble? Your raps causes naps You look a little frail and you're about to collapse You'll know you got beat when you hear the people's claps [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Whoa.
Look who decided to come out to play.
The news on the streets says you're gonna battle me at Rap Fest Aid.
This is a joke, right? Hear me out.
What are you even gonna rap about? You've been in a bottle since the age of 2 I got shampoo more worldly than you I will do laps around your raps I crush my opponents and collect their caps If you wanna keep yours on, I suggest you run People holla at me because I'm number one Son of Rap Bear is right.
I just rap about rapping.
I haven't traveled the world or done anything really.
Finn! Let's go on some adventures! What? It would really help me build up some quick life experience.
I don't know if life is like a test you can cram for.
This is for my kingdom.
I've got to try.
Went along with Finn from mission to mission To win the battle for the Fire Kingdom Worked at Pizza Sassy 'cause I'm not too classy Climbed a rock, had to mind the clock Tick, tock I go with Starchy, I hunt ghosts I blow fire with my saxophone I'm a submarine teen, ain't nothin' I ain't seen All around I'm known I'm the girl on the throne Givin' back rubs, in the bathtubs, hittin' math clubs Makin' mad grub to outspit a rap cub I got solutions to this rap pollution When I'm done with Son of Rap Bear He's gonna need new shins Unh, yeah, I'm experienced Solid like a pebble in aquarium I drop knowledge like I'm Bubblegum if she was librarian [GROANS] That was good! I thought trying new things would make me new and interesting, but I just feel like a hack.
Maybe there is an interesting thing about you that you just don't realize.
Like how Neptr only just found out there is a face on his can, and now he thinks the can is his conjoined twin.
I don't expect you to understand the bond I share with my family.
FLAME KING: [HUMMING] No room for the body.
Let's make him swim.
FLAME PRINCESS: Knock, knock.
Is that you, bun bun? - Aah! - Hi, Dad.
You're not here to put me back in lantern jail, are you? I guess I wanted to talk.
It seems like lots changed since I last saw you.
Maybe we actually have a shot at putting the past behind us and, I don't know, being normal with each other.
I know exactly what you're saying.
I've totally gotten over being in lantern jail, so we're good.
Well, I was kind of hoping you could acknowledge hurting me, like Phoebes, come on.
It's better to be thankful for what you have now An awesome chipmunk Dad.
Uh, I'm gonna put on some music.
You're totally welcome to listen, or not.
Totally up to you.
So you won't even apolo - [VOCALIZING] - gize? [RAPPING] Water chestnuts roasting in my gut Acorn squash you with a peanut butter cup I'll tell you what's the diff-er-ence Between a legume and a nut One goes in your mouth and the other out your butt Just put the cash into my stash and I give you cashew Put your face in my almond butter paste, yo Pecan can do or pecan you don't, bro - Drama.
- On your way out, take a pistachio TORONTO: What's up, Rap Fest Aid?! [LAUGHS] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the battle for the Fire Kingdom! To my left, we have the Flame Princess.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And to my right, the reigning champion, Son of Rap Bear! Yo.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And go, Son of Rap Bear.
Yo, I'm a word wizard I'm Son of Rap Bear But you're a fire hazard, maybe I should be scared I mean, I do hear you're dangerous when your temper flares Do guys even date you or just cook wieners in your hair [AUDIENCE "OHS"] I guess there was that fire guy that wanted to marry you Was it Don Jon with the big guns? Oh, but you're not into macho men, are you? You like 'em soft and round like cinnamon-flavored buns [AUDIENCE "OHS"] He's good.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I got more rhymes in my hair than you ever will You better run away like it's a fire drill You're so lame and stinky, more spark from my pinky I'm a flaming master I'm slinky, hinky [THINKING] Oh, Glob.
What am I saying? She's choking.
FLAME KING: Hi, Phoebe! Huh? Dad, you came to see me rap? No, I had no idea you were in this.
Isn't that crazy? Don't feel bad about losing, though! He's way out of your league! Dad! Why the heck did I even try to talk to you? You only ever cared about things like koalas And chipmunks and baby kangaroos It's actually pretty sad I mean, I usurped you when I was 14 I thought we could be friends I don't know what I was thinking I don't need you or anyone 'Cause I'm the real Flame King [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Get it, girl! And as for Son of Rap Bear You're so unoriginal, you put your own dad in a wheelchair Just so you could steal his name and ride on his fame But without it, you're just a sad kid full of hot air Y'all can try to bully me and scam me, I don't care As if being a jerk's gonna make you dummies happy [GROANS] But my kingdom ain't a commodity, Toronto It's a part of me So sorry, you can't take what isn't owned by me So take him away Boom.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I get it! She owned him! [AUDIENCE CHANTING "PHOEBE"] The winner is Son of Rap Bear! [CHANTING CONTINUES] I thought I was the Glob of rap, rivaled by none But I'm more like bubble wrap 'cause she squashed me for fun She's actually not bad.
Hey, honey! You're actually not bad!