Alfred Hitchcock Presents s05e07 Episode Script

Dry Run

Good evening.
It seems that on television of late, tales of mystery and crime are incomplete without jazz music.
So much so that it is now almost impossible to tell whether you are watching a detective story or a jazz festival.
There is a difference, of course.
A jazz festival has more violence.
The basic requirements for a television mystery program seem to be an alto saxophone, a piano, bass drums and, if the budget allows, a detective.
Now, we throw the spotlight on one member of our little combo while he takes a solo.
Our sponsor on a one-minute chorus, after which, if you watch closely, you may see our story.
I can't get over that fish of yours.
It gives me the creeps.
I like him.
He's dependable.
They're dependable, all right.
You can depend on that piranha to snap your finger off the minute you put in the water.
That's what he's made for, Prentis.
If you could count on the market to react the way you can that piranha, we'd make a million every day.
Am I right, Art? That's right, Mr.
Barberosa.
Sure, I'm right.
Have it your way.
You raise your piranhas.
I'll stick to rabbits.
That's a partial list of some of your commons that bear a little watching.
What do you think about Underland? I think it's going back up.
That's good enough for me.
There's a hot tip for you, Art.
Buy yourself some Underland, you'll make a lot of money.
Thanks, Mr.
Barberosa.
I'll remember that.
I believe everybody who works for me should make a little money.
Prentis'll tell you that, won't you, Prentis? You've always been very generous.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
I have to get back to my office.
That'll give you time to go over that list.
Make up your mind what you wanna do.
I'll call you.
Nice to have met you.
He's a good man.
Maybe he gets a little edgy sometimes, but good just the same.
Takes a long time to get the right men for a big organization.
I guess it would.
Don't make any mistake about it.
It does.
I like to think of this outfit, well, like a baseball team.
Everybody's gotta try out for his position in the lineup.
I'm the coach.
I depend on teamwork.
Well, you expect it and you get it.
Right on the button.
Maybe that's why we keep going strong while most of our competitors fold up when the going gets a little tough.
That's because I can depend on everybody on the team, and they can depend on each other, too.
Well, that's real security, Mr.
Barberosa.
Nobody who ever works for me is going to be left hung up, stranded, pins knocked out from under him.
I've had my eye on you out in the field.
Well, I hope I've done well.
You think maybe you're ready to try out for a new position on the team? A better job? Well, just give me a chance.
"Chance"? That's a word I don't like very well.
I don't like to take chances.
Maybe that's why I've held my position longer than anyone else.
Well, you're a top man in your line and you're getting bigger all the time.
I like that.
I'd like to keep on working for you.
I'll let you in on a little secret.
I handpick the people who work for me and I look for one quality.
Dependability.
Well, you can depend on me.
Prentis thought I was kidding when I said I liked this piranha here but I wasn't.
I meant it.
I like him because he's dependable.
Anytime I toss him some food, I know exactly what he'll do.
See? I see.
Reports on you have been good but I still have to know more about you before I give you a better job.
Not that I don't trust you, but I've got to be sure.
I understand.
You've got to have the right man for the job.
And you know he'll deliver.
That's right, Art.
Now, I've been thinking.
I have a certain little piece of business in mind that you might do.
It'll give me an opportunity to see how well you handle it.
A tryout for the team.
Or a test? Like a dry run? Dry run, a test, tryout But that's the idea exactly.
I've just completed a deal with a man named Moran.
He's got some money coming.
I want you to deliver it.
I'll take care of it.
Money's all there.
He'll be expecting you tonight.
The Old Valley Winery, know where it is? Upstate a little ways.
That's right.
You'll see an entrance next to the platform on your left as you drive into the loading area.
He'll be expecting you.
Have you got your equipment? I never get dressed without it.
Here's one that's been filed away for years.
Never been used, can't be traced.
Nice and safe, Art.
Give him the money first if you have to, but make sure you get him.
Hold it! Come on down.
Come on down.
Come on, come on, move it.
Art, huh? You say Barberosa sent you? You don't look dry around the ears yet.
You're Moran, aren't you? Yeah, I'm Moran.
Why, that Barberosa sure is picking them young these days.
Well, why don't you complain to Barberosa about it, huh? Complain to Barberosa? That's a good one, kid.
Complain to Barberosa Boy, that Barberosa sure ain't heavy on the brains, but he got a sense of humor sending a punk like you around here.
You got the dough, Art? Yeah.
Let's have it.
Sure.
Money, I mean! I know what you mean.
I What are you so jumpy about? You want your dough? Yeah, yeah.
All right, just cool off now, will you? I gotta get it.
It's in my inside pocket.
Get it, get it! Take it easy, kid.
Don't rip that Madison Avenue suit of yours.
Looks like the 10 grand is here, all right.
I wouldn't have put it past Barberosa to hold out.
The 10 grand? Yeah, well, your 10 grand, then.
Okay, kid, you can turn around now.
I'm sorry about having to stand you in the corner like that, kid, but I gotta be careful about the guys Barberosa sends around here, you know what I mean? It's all right.
No hard feelings, huh, kid? No.
It's all right.
You can put it down.
How about a drink? All I can offer you is some of Barberosa's own juice.
All right, that's okay with me.
That sounds pretty full.
Probably just laid down.
Maybe there's some better stuff aging in the other end.
You looking for something, kid? Yeah, I was looking for a smoke, here.
Yeah? Well, sit down.
Put your hands on the table.
All right.
I'll give you a smoke.
Here you are, kid.
Help yourself.
Thanks.
Here's to your boss, Barberosa.
May his cheap heart burn in Hey, that's pretty good, huh, kid? "Cheap Heart Burn" Cheap heartburn! Don't you get it? Barberosa's all right.
Yeah? You think so, kid? Why don't you come clean? Didn't he offer you the No.
How about the money? I didn't know there was You didn't Maybe you're a bigger sucker than I thought.
You mean you didn't even count it? No, I didn't count it.
None of my business.
Oh, sure, sure.
But didn't Barberosa even, um You know, like, insinuate that after you gave me the money it was okay to take it back? If you could? All I was told to do is to come here and give you your share.
You handled yourself great, kid.
Takes a lot of guts to come here looking for me for Barberosa.
I don't know anything about that and I don't think there's anything to worry about here.
I was just sort of the Pony Express, you might say.
Yeah, I suppose Barberosa's got you snowed like all the rest of them.
I don't get you, Moran.
Maybe not.
He snowed you, but good! He figures you're just a stupid little punk and you don't know any better.
What're you trying to do? Con me? Could've gunned me a long time ago if you thought I was triggering for Barberosa.
I won't be particular about this glass You asked me what snow job? I'll tell you.
All that yak Barberosa hands out about teamwork, trying out for positions Bull! And that junk about dependability! Nuts.
I think that maybe you're the one who's trying the snow job, Moran.
Am I? You mean you never heard him? Anybody who works for me never gets hung up.
Everybody knows that Barberosa's got a solid organization.
Yeah? Who's everybody, kid? You and Barberosa? Ever speak to any of the other guys in the outfit? No, we don't talk much about Barberosa.
It ain't what you would call healthy.
Well, I'm talking about Barberosa, ain't I? And I'm healthy.
I'll tell you something now, straight.
I've been around a long time, and I happen to know.
Barberosa makes a lot of promises that don't pay off and the boys don't like being stung.
You got paid off, didn't you? You bet your life I got paid off! Cheap, chiseling bag of hot air knows better than to hold out on me.
He knows better than that, all right! You talk pretty big, Moran.
Maybe you're not scared of Barberosa.
You seem to think he's a little afraid of you, though.
Why should he be, huh? You can't figure that out? Well, maybe.
What I can't figure out is what you're feeding me this information for here.
If I thought you was interested, really interested, I'd let you know.
But I got a hunch you're just stalling around here so you can run back to Barberosa and worm out.
Barberosa don't own me.
He can't worm me out.
You got something to say, I'll listen to it.
Keep it to myself.
If I want to.
Maybe.
I got a hunch you're just the guy I've been looking for.
For what? To gun Barberosa.
What's the matter? You scared of the idea, Art? I got the right guy? Go ahead and take it! I didn't say I'd do it.
The money's right there.
It's all yours.
You're pretty hopped up about Barberosa, aren't you? What's so important to you he gets blasted, huh? Okay, kid.
No reason I shouldn't let you in on the setup.
I wanna take over.
It's all set with the boys, too.
Only Barberosa don't go for the idea, naturally.
Well, why don't you knock him off yourself, then? What, are you scared or what? No, kid.
No, I'm not scared.
But you see, Barberosa's always contacted me through one of the boys.
Look a little suspicious if I might try to pay him a sudden visit.
But it'd be easy for you, Art.
I mean, he's expecting you back, ain't he? As long as I work for him, I imagine I could arrange to see him.
Aw, come on, kid.
Cut it out.
Stop hedging with me.
I know the way he operates.
I'll lay you five to one he expects you to report back tonight.
Alone, huh? Pushover.
Why me? I mean, why not, uh Why not one of the other guys, huh? No, no.
I'll tell ya, I'll level with ya, kid.
None of the other guys has got the guts to do it or the ambition.
What do you mean, ambition? What do you mean by ambition? What's in it for me if I get Barberosa? What's in it for you? You'll be my right hand, Art.
Second from the top.
You're not heavy enough, kid.
You haven't been around long enough time to handle a setup like this.
I could, and next to me, you're top dog! You know, with Barberosa, you're just another hired punk.
You know that.
At least you're honest, Moran.
None of this jazz about being partners.
All right, if I take Barberosa Maybe you're not gonna keep your promise.
I mean, how do I know that you're not snowing me now? Looks like we just have to trust each other, don't it, kid? If I take Barberosa, Moran, I wouldn't hesitate to take you if you double-crossed me.
What do you say, kid? Are you with me? I don't know.
It's risky.
Plenty risky.
should pay for the risk! That's not enough.
This will be the biggest blast in the business.
I want double that.
You learn fast.
Fast enough.
10 grand or there's no deal.
You do it tonight? Yeah, for 10 grand.
Uh Okay, kid.
All right, 10 grand, and your right hand man in the new setup.
You don't miss a trick, do ya? Make sure you do the job good.
I will.
Nice, green lettuce felt good, huh? Cool.
After tonight, Art, that's gonna be just chicken feed.
You're making the big time fast.
You learn quick.
You've got guts and ambition.
Someday, you'll even be planning to take over from me.
Come on, kid.
Drink up.
No, no thanks.
I gotta cut out now.
Barberosa's waiting for me.
Yeah.
You'd better get going.
Good luck, kid.
All right, thanks.
I'll join you later.
You do that.
Hey, Art.
Yeah? Barberosa's going to feel awful bad about this, kid.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's gonna feel awful bad when he Yeah.
He thought you'd pass the test for sure, kid.
He's going to be awful disappointed.
Wait a minute now, test? What do you mean? You said Oh, you stupid, little, double-crossing punk.
Don't, Moran.
Please, don't! Don't! Don't! The results of this case in a moment.
Our decision to join the rush to jazz seems to have been a success, with one difference.
We have decided to take the silencers off the guns and use them in the orchestra.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, a delightfully cacophonous commercial, after which, I shall swing back.
Perhaps our sponsor should use a mute.
As for tonight's case, Moran was found guilty and fined by the Jazz Musicians' Union for shooting a man a capella.
The use of firearms without accompaniment is strictly forbidden.
He was, of course, also dealt with by the municipal authorities.
Next week, I shall return with another story.
Until then, good night.

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