Ally Mcbeal s02e16 Episode Script

Sex, Lies and Politics

I feel okay.
At least about life with Billy.
I mean, without him.
I'm actually feeling excellent.
I'm glad.
Liar.
What? - Nothing.
- Trash.
What's the matter? That man- Are those people over there pointing at me? No.
And a pope didn't just walk by, right? Ally, maybe you should have a session with T racy, over the guilt.
She makes me feel guilty for having guilt.
It's okay to feel a little shame.
But let's get over it now.
It's done.
Did a dog just piddle on my foot? I'm afraid that's real.
Sex, Lies and Politics Ally, your wheel house.
John Flattery thinks his wife's cheating.
Who says that's my wheel house? Civil rights.
She's a paraplegic.
He wants a LoJack on her wheelchair.
- John, what about Peterson? - We're working on a payment schedule.
- They settled? - $500,000.
I'm surprised myself.
- The senator's going to pay? - He'll avoid the publicity of a trial.
That's amazing.
Yes, it is.
Moving on.
Kettering vs.
Pyle.
Billy? We'll start first thing- Excuse me.
I'm gonna get on that LoJack case.
I haven't been here long, but I'm beginning to think she's more weird than the strange little man.
John, the attorney's here for your settlement conference.
I take it back.
A six-month structure is fine, but I'd like the balloon up front.
Actually, we've decided to modify our offer.
Modify it how? Instead of the $520,000, we' re offering nothing.
- Is this a joke? - The senator had a change of heart.
And conscience.
- We had a deal.
- We never closed it.
- I guess we go to trial.
- Mr.
Benson, we had a deal.
What can I tell you? The deal's off.
Let's go.
We're due in court.
- I have Greg Butters on three.
- I'll call him back.
- In this lifetime? - Elaine.
- Don't grab me like I belong to you.
- We should talk.
- We need to talk about telling Georgia.
- Telling her what? - The Pope is stalking me! - T elling Georgia is not- - Billy.
- I need a second.
T ake it later.
In the conference room.
Now.
You too, Ally.
They let me believe we were settling so I'd be less likely to prepare.
Trial begins today, I've got nothing.
Can you get a continue-doohickey? The case is marked "No further continue-doohickeys.
" I'm putting you all on crash discovery.
Georgia, could you please turn your head down? Excuse me? Nothing.
Kidding.
Bygones.
Senator Watkins libeled Ms.
Peterson and her bookstore.
She went bankrupt.
- You' re going into this unprepared? - Thanks for the bolt of confidence.
The defamatory remarks were made in TV spots.
Find the people who did it.
They might talk.
Elaine has the file.
I'll try to push off the trial.
Richard, let's go.
- Forget it.
- They made an offer they had no intention of honoring.
I told you last time in here, that's it.
We begin, or I enter judgment for the defendant.
This kind of bad faith, from a state senator, no less- - We start, or he wins.
- I object! I object! I object! I'm not impressed by trilogy, Mr.
Cage.
Ready for trial, or he wins.
- Ready for trial.
- We'll impanel, begin after lunch.
This trial will have heavy publicity, and I'd like the jury sequestered.
Juries punish the ones bringing the suit when they're sequestered.
I agree with Mr.
Benson- If they can't watch the news, they'll only know what they hear here.
What chance does the truth have then? - That didn't help.
- I was- You're off the case.
Ling, you're on.
- What? - I can- I need her, and I don't want three.
- I'm not a litigator.
- For this case you are.
I knew this would happen if I took a job here.
You'd make me work.
Don't even say "hi" to me! Your office.
- Who? - Greg.
You don't take my calls.
I don't like playing games.
Neither do I.
What's going on? And I wanna know the truth.
The truth? Okay, Greg.
I'm gonna give you the truth.
For a couple of days there was somebody else.
Somebody I even kissed.
It was a mistake, and it's over.
But for two days, there was somebody else.
- I should go.
- Don't walk out.
We need to talk! We need to talk later.
So, what was that about? - T ake a guess.
- What did you tell him? That I couldn't remember if we made love on account of your microscopic penis.
- You're still angry at me.
- I'm over my anger, over everything.
My struggle goes to you-know-what.
I saw a counselor.
He says not to tell.
So does Tracy.
Not telling her is the right thing to do.
So why does it feel so wrong? Stop it.
You are not going to guilt me.
I'll just dance to the beat.
See? This is music to my ears.
My conscience just tells me to dance.
I understand you worked on the senator's campaign and if I could meet with you, it would be in complete confidence.
You big dick.
Any luck? I have spoken to everyone who worked on the campaign as contractors- I'm working on anybody he's fired.
Nothing? Not yet.
Gonna keep going down the list.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Mr.
Cage? Miss Peterson, how long did you work at the store? Seven years.
- You also sold CDs and cassettes? - Yes, it was music and books.
- You were doing well? - Sales were growing every quarter.
Objection, I'm bored.
I have to be forthright.
The witness is tedious.
I'm concerned for the jury's attention span.
Yes, and thank you for livening things up.
But your business suffered? Last September, that man, while running for senator accused our store of dealing in pornography.
His campaign said we were an assault on American values.
We were picketed.
We lost book signings, which are vital.
Now, well, we're going out of business.
And you blame him? I'm sorry.
I was assigned to this.
I'm learning about it as we go.
- It seems ridiculous- - What's going on? Miss Woo, please sit.
She asked the question.
And all because of him? Yes, because of him.
His campaign centered on values, family.
He singled my store out.
He had the perfect hook: " Look at the smut shop, right by the Capitol.
" It was a nifty political ploy.
It killed us.
And he put me and a lot of other hardworking people into unemployment.
- Was that right? - Exactly.
- Same thing on her cross? - With a small adjustment.
I have a hard time understanding.
I'm not asking you to understand.
I'm telling you what is, or was.
As much guilt as I feel over the kiss, it's something I had to go through.
If you're about to break into "I Gotta Be Me," I'll walk away.
I wasn't gonna do that.
Good.
We were past the stage of you kissing someone else.
If you don't feel the need to apologize, we're done right now.
I apologize.
I understand you're emotionally neurotic.
I even tolerate it.
But do me a favor, don't celebrate it.
- And that's where you left it? - Yeah.
- So? - We'll take a day, go from there.
Ally, how do you feel about him? Do you even want to go from here? I don't know.
Obviously, she feels remorse.
But she didn't lie to Georgia she just didn't volunteer information.
Everybody knows.
The whole world's looking at me - like I'm a disgusting cheater.
- This couldn't be your imagination? - Will you go to church with me? - Church? I wanna be in a room of forgiveness and hear "amen.
" - All this over a kiss? - The kiss, I'm over.
The lie.
Every time I see Georgia, the lie lives.
Ms.
Peterson, your store sold books with nudity, pictures of copulation.
Books graphically describing sex acts.
Photographs by Herb Ritts.
Books written by John Irving, Balzac- Redeeming social value, yes.
But isn't that a subjective thing? Yes, so we should all make up our own minds.
Isn't Senator Watkins entitled to his opinion? Having an opinion is different from labeling me a pornographer in TV spots.
So, an opinion's fine, but don't voice it too loudly.
He saddled me up to get funds from right wing- Objection.
Every politician lies to get money.
Now he's- The court takes the unusual step of ordering you to support your client.
Your Honor- You can't sue elected officials each time they do something disgusting.
They'd never have time to do their jobs.
Miss Woo.
Rappers with profane lyrics about raping women these CDs are in your store.
As they are in Blockbuster, T ower, and stores across the nation.
That makes it okay? Everybody's doing it, so he should accept it.
He put me out of business.
Do you get that? You put me out of business.
- Hey, Billy.
How's it going? - Fine.
You? - You and Ally having sex? - What? She's feeling guilty.
You keep closing doors.
Put two and two together, 69.
If it's true, tell me.
My shoulder's nothing if not a cushion.
- Anything? - No.
- I hear Georgia suspects Nelle.
- Come on.
Don't let the sub-zero thing fool you.
She's a tramp.
Remember, it takes one to know one.
All we know of Nelle is that when you talk about her, she's behind you.
Elaine.
- I meant "tramp" in a good way.
- Yes, thank you.
It's one thing to distract them- They're watching The Music Man tonight.
- Who's watching? - The jury.
It's perfect.
Giving praise can be done in many ways.
- T ell me again why we're here? - Because it's godly here.
Plus, it's nice sitting among strangers.
At the office, they look at me- That's a good idea.
Let's talk.
Somebody shout out one of the commandments.
Anybody.
"Thou shalt not covet.
" "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
" Let's talk about that.
What's the big deal about that? T o covet, that just goes to what you' re thinking.
Why is that a sin? I don't believe it.
- I'm gonna tell you.
- T ell us! You wanna know why? Good Lord! You wanna know why? All the other commandments, "Don't do this or that" it's about how you act.
This one says, "Don't even think it.
" - Amen! - Don't even think it! - Why? - T ell us! Because the Lord thought if we make it a sin to even think it maybe man will resist the temptation to do it.
The Sixth Commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery.
" That's the worst! That's not the worst! "Thou shalt not kill! " That's got to be worse than coveting somebody else's husband! - You wanted to be anonymous? - Shut up.
Maybe we should hear from the choir.
Finish our talk after a reprieve.
Why exactly did you do that? Let's just pay our respects to God, Renee.
Can we do that, please? No.
They are singing about me.
- They all know.
- They don't know.
She is singing about cheating, Renee.
Everybody knows.
- My sermon wasn't about you.
- Well, it- It felt that way.
It just happened to be about adultery.
The song just happened to be about shaking your tail feathers.
According to the polls, adultery isn't a big deal- You didn't commit adultery.
- I didn't? - You kissed.
That's not adultery.
A kiss, with all the emotion of making love? - So what? - "So what"? Excuse me, I'm no Biblical scholar but Jesus said a married man who looks at another woman with lust commits adultery in his heart.
Jesus was maybe a little off the mark.
Jesus was off the mark? Under that theory, every man would be an adulterer.
It's the deed.
"Thou shalt not commit adultery.
" That's what the commandment says.
You didn't.
- A thought is not the same as a deed.
- What was all that about coveting? Coveting is a dumb one.
I don't know why it's there.
- Why did you hammer it in the sermon? - Because it was called out.
You saw how I segued into adultery.
That is big.
But you didn't commit it with a kiss.
T elling Georgia is selfish.
It would serve no purpose other than to ease your guilt.
If Billy wants to tell, his business.
But you need to go on with your life.
The problem is, Georgia's in it.
She's a friend of mine.
- Is that the issue? She's a friend? - Yes.
Well, relax.
She's not really your friend.
- She isn't? - No.
If she was, you wouldn't have kissed her husband.
She has a right to sell the books, but I can complain.
- You did label her a pornographer.
- I believe she is.
The Supreme Court said they know obscenity when they see it.
As do I.
She sold lewd books.
Naked, nude pictures.
People fornicating, rap lyrics calling for violence and rape.
I don't call that art.
Parents in this community want their kids protected.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I object to people promulgating prurient interests couching it under freedom or democracy! This country isn't against morality! This nation, to me, isn't a champion of indecency.
This land isn't- I apologize.
I was adjusting my blowtorch.
Must be gas in the room.
I object, Your Honor.
This man is famous for his stunts.
That was dangerous! I agree.
Bailiff, take away his blowtorch.
Mr.
Cage, one more trick, I'll hold you in contempt! Well, again, I apologize.
We're back with Jody, from Cambridge.
You 're on with Dr.
Ruth Westheimer.
Jody? Oh.
Hello.
Hello, dear.
How are you? Fine.
Fine.
I was wondering, if you kissed the husband of a friend should you tell the friend? Perhaps you could start by telling her you are no friend at all.
Hello? Hello? Rude little thing.
Damn it! How long have you been standing there? I just got here.
Can I talk to you a second? Three marriage counselors say if it's past tense, I shouldn't tell.
And it is past tense.
That's a guarantee.
We're both looking for somebody to take us off the hook.
That's not gonna happen.
Nobody will.
Not shrinks, not ministers Maybe we want Georgia to do it, and that's not fair.
It's hard to tap dishonesty as the best policy.
The kiss was dishonest.
We weren't thinking of her then, we should now.
And not tell.
Last night the jurors saw The Music Man.
Ever seen it? Yes.
Excellent family entertainment.
Yes, it was.
Do you remember "You Got T rouble, " the famous song? - How many of us loved that song? - Mr.
Cage.
Professor Harold Hill, he needed something to scare parents, and be a moral savior.
He chose the pool table, remember? It was an excellent ploy.
Well, you got trouble my friends Right here in River City Sure I'm a billiard player Proud to say it Mr.
Cage.
This store was your pool table.
You wanted to convince folks that they had trouble.
- The store was trouble.
- Yes.
Pushing Balzac.
They didn't sell what adult stores sell.
- Why not go after them? - I did.
Ms.
Peterson's was the only store you mentioned.
The fact that it was near the Capitol compounded my outrage.
Yes, that's right.
This store was your pool table.
- It was my bane, and the community's.
- Thank God you ran a moral rescue! Let me tell you what I mean One, two, three, four, five, six Pockets in the table - Objection! - Don't we all love that song? Got people upset over the store.
- Deservedly so.
- They picketed.
- What she sold was- - Dangerous.
- Yes.
- Bad for kids.
- No question.
- Just like the song.
Ragtime, shameless music It will grab your son, your daughter With the arms Of a jungle, animal instinct An idle brain's the devil's playground Sing it! Oh, we got trouble Right here in River City With a capital " T" That rhymes with "P" - That stands for pool - Mr.
Cage.
That will be enough.
They know the song.
And we all know the dance, don't we, senator? - Are all your cases like this? - This one is.
- Ready? - I'm ready.
- How's it going? - He's a funny little man.
- He cross-examined with The Music Man.
- Excuse me? I like it.
He's fun.
Free for lunch? Sure.
I kissed Ally.
What did you say? The therapist said no good could come from telling you.
I've been not telling you for three days.
I not tell you noon and night.
I've not told you 1,000 times, and every time I see you I have to not tell you again.
I can't do it anymore.
If I have to not tell again, I'll die.
I was lonely.
I saw Ally with Greg and I suddenly thought I loved her again.
I've been seeing shrinks since you told me I was out of my mind because I love you, and I need to tell you that too.
You kissed Ally? Hey! I found one campaign manager who said the bookstore - How could you? - She's my wife.
- But you said- - It just came out.
I don't disagree with you telling her.
But I would appreciate knowing, since it does involve me.
Can't imagine how that must have looked.
I think maybe we should split for a while.
I don't want that.
I do.
Mr.
Cage, I'll hear from you.
- Your Honor, he's making me do it.
- Very well.
The idea of suing a politician for his opinions is stupid.
He should trumpet what he thinks how else would we know where he stands? But then, as I listened, I realized this man wasn't voicing his politics.
He was exploiting an easy mark.
He dressed this bookshop up as something he knew it wasn't, and then launched a battle cry.
And that isn't right.
Politicians do it all the time.
Find something the public worries about, and tap into it.
But that doesn't justify putting an innocent person out of business.
This store doesn't have an adult book section.
He was citing Chaucer and John Irving as some of the prurient material.
He destroyed her.
And he's not even sorry.
They worked hard to build a store.
He called it a smut shop, forced it to close, and he's not sorry.
Her life's work.
Gone.
There's a very old expression in China: Is it politically correct to hold a person liable for an opinion? There's a reason they came here with blowtorches, violins, Their goal was to distract you from one clear reality: They' re suing a senator for having the gall to speak what he thinks.
And if you so much as entertain this complaint then, oh, oh, we really do have trouble.
If you feel he really believed my client's store was a house of pornography, find for him.
You should.
But if you think he singled out Shirley Peterson as his pool table Politics is an ugly game.
You do what you have to, to survive.
He survived, didn't he? She didn't.
There is no excuse for me kissing Billy or Billy kissing me.
It's indefensible.
But I would like to attempt an explanation.
I don't want one, Ally.
I love your husband, Georgia.
I always have.
I certainly got over him.
But when I found out he met you while he was with me it left me feeling Well, the love I thought I had, I never had after all.
And it made me start to question love, period.
Whether it I think, when I kissed him, I was wanting to believe that his love for me was still there because if it was, it had to be there in the first place.
It seems it was and is still there.
I think you' re right.
He'll probably always love me, and I'll always love him.
Maybe we were meant to love each other but we weren't meant to be together.
We got into this big fight, and he said the worst thing anyone's ever said to me.
He accused me of being terminally unhappy.
As I thought and thought about how he could say such a thing, I realized that he knew: Ultimately, I would never be happy with him.
And it finally hit me, something that he has known for a long time.
We' re not meant to be.
I can't repair things with you and Billy.
That's between you two, although I know how much he loves you.
I say this hoping to repair you and me.
I consider you a friend, Georgia.
I know how that must sound right now.
It doesn't even ring well in my ears but I do.
I'm actually comfortable with people not liking me I guess I'd have to be.
So, this isn't about me wanting to be popular.
I'm trying to salvage a relationship that's more important to me than I knew.
Could you leave now? Yeah.
One more thing.
I am deeply, deeply sorry.
Shirley.
- What happened? - We'll know soon.
Let's go.
Hurry up! If it pleases the court.
The jury has reached its verdict? - We have, Your Honor.
- What say you? In the matter of Shirley Peterson vs.
Harold Watkins we find in favor of the defendant.
I mean, the plaintiff, and order the defendant to pay $1.
2 million.
- Ladies and gentlemen, court adjourned.
- I did it! I did it! - I'm ready for my questions.
- Miss Woo.
Thank you.
It's not my nature to engage in post commentary but I'd appreciate you telling everyone what happened here.
You sneaky, arrogant, bad-faith bastard.
There's no substitute in life for respect and kindness.
This big dope thought he was exempt because he got enough idiots to vote for him.
I'm not lit well.
T o Ling and The Biscuit.
We' re on a roll! - I told you I'd win, didn't I? - Yes, you did, Ling.
- Thanks for talking to her.
- I was only being selfish.
I know.
Which I think meant something.
- Did you talk to her? - I tried.
I don't know where she is.
When she said she wanted to split, what went through you? My life sort of flashed.
Make sure you tell her that.
Yeah.
You okay? Fine.
You stinker! SDl Media Group
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