American Horror Story s03e01 Episode Script

Bitchcraft

[HORSE NEIGHING] Gentlemen, I want you to meet my daughters.
Marie Louise Pauline Marie Louise Jeanne and from my first marriage, Marie Delphine Lopez.
But everyone calls her Borquita.
Ha, ha.
What they may lack in outer beauty, they make up for with their many talents.
Borquita is a huge help to me with the domestics.
While Jeanne excels in petit point.
My youngest, Pauline well, her major talent has yet to reveal itself.
Ha-ha-ha.
Perhaps my talent is in the boudoir, Mother dear.
I guess we'll find out on your wedding night, mon petit.
[LOUIS SPEAKS IN FRENCH] When the blood dries, my skin is supposed to be tight as a drum.
Just look at this wattle.
[SNIFFS] This blood's not fresh.
Borquita! [IN FRENCH] Mon chérie, somethings happened during the dinner party.
Stupid slut! I invite all the eligible bachelors just to meet you and you spread your filthy legs for the houseman! You might as well rut with the family dog! You can't control me, Mother.
The hell I can't! The hell I can't.
You know what we're gonna say? We're gonna say he took you by force.
Like the savage he is.
No, ma'am, I did no such thing.
Yes.
That's what happened.
Miss Pauline came on to me.
I told her I belong to someone else.
Keep that mongrel quiet.
Aah! Agh! Haul him upstairs.
No.
No.
No.
Bonsoir, my pets.
Did y'all miss me? [MUFFLED SCREAMING] Hush up.
Or I'll rip your lips open and stuff more shit in there.
Why? Why are you doing this to us? Because I can? Oh, merde.
Now we gonna have flies up here.
There.
That should do it.
Bastien, you wanna rut like a beast then we're gonna treat you like one.
[SOBBING] Where's my pickaninny with the head? [WHIMPERING] [MOANS] Put it on him.
[YELLING] LOUIS: Darling, you have outdone yourself.
However did you think this up? My great literacy began with Greek mythology.
I used to sit on Daddy's lap and he would read me those stories full of their vengeful gods and wondrous miraculous creatures.
But the Minotaur was always my favorite.
Half man, half bull.
And now I have one of my very own.
[MUFFLED SHOUTING] CHARLIE: You sure about this? Come on.
My mom gets home at 6.
[BREATHING HEAVILY] It just sucks being somebody's first.
I don't wanna hurt you.
I'll be okay.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Charlie? Charlie? Charlie, Charlie, what's wrong? Unh! Charlie! Charlie! [WHISTLE BLOWING] ZOE: It's a cliché but like all clichés, it's the truth.
Your life can change overnight.
Or in a moment.
The official word on Charlie's death was a brain aneurysm.
But the doctors had never seen anything quite like it before.
The blood.
All that blood.
It's not your fault, baby.
It's ours.
There's something I should have told you a long time ago.
I prayed it would skip your generation.
Your great-grandmother had the same genetic affliction.
ZOE: So apparently I'm a witch.
It runs in my family, but it doesn't show up in every generation, or in every girl.
Like my cousin Amanda, she's just bulimic.
We read about the Salem witch trials in, like, fifth grade.
I guess I should have paid more attention.
WOMAN 1: Hang her! Hang her and drown her! WOMAN 2: Burn her! MAN: Mercy Osbourne, you have been sentenced to death.
May God have mercy on your wretched soul.
ZOE: Those girts weren't even witches.
The real witches were cunning and careful not to be caught.
In fact, they got the hell out of Dodge.
They fled.
As far south as they could.
That's how eventually New Orleans became the new Salem.
NORA: There's a school there.
A boarding school for girls like you.
You'll be safe.
You're sending me away? NORA: I'm sorry, baby.
We can't keep you here anymore.
It's too dangerous.
What's going on? Mom, what's going on? What is this? Mom! Mom-- No, what is this? Mom! Mum! We'll handle it from here.
Can't I drive her to the station? She's our daughter now, Nora.
You've done all you can.
A long goodbye would only make things worse.
By the way, these drapes.
I'm just mad for tartan.
[DOORBELL RINGS] Hello? [DOOR CREAKS] Hello? Hello? [SCREAMS] [ZOE PANTING] [SCREAMS] O dark father, we offer this flesh up to you, blood, life and all.
Get the hell off me! Jesus, Sabrina, relax.
We're just messing with you.
Holy shit.
Are you? Madison Montgomery, movie star.
Shit.
When's the last time you made a movie? I'm Nan.
Hi.
Zoe.
Queenie.
So bored now.
So is this all of you? At the moment.
Cordelia Foxx, headmistress.
All right, there's a van full of groceries in the driveway that needs unloading.
I'll show Zoe to her room, then we meet for Midday Gathering.
Let's go.
CORDELIA: Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies was established as a premiere girls, finishing school in 1790.
During the Civil War, it was converted into a military hospital.
Afterwards, it came under new management.
Our management.
In 1868, Marianne Wharton a prominent East Coast society matron early suffragette author of several popular children's books wand, as it happened, the reigning Supreme of that time "purchased this facility, retaining the name as a cover "establishing a safe haven where young witches could gather to learn.
In its heyday, the academy was home to as many as 60 girls.
Over the years, those numbers dwindled.
ZOE: Why? We're a dying breed, Zoe.
Many of the families who carried the bloodline made a choice not to reproduce.
So, what's a Supreme? CORDELIA: An average witch is born with a few natural gifts.
But in each generation there is one woman who embodies countless gifts.
Some say all of them.
She is the Supreme.
Are you the Supreme? [QUEENIE CHUCKLES] No.
I'm like you.
Just a witch.
And a teacher.
I'm here to help you identify your gifts and teach you how to control them.
She means to suppress them.
Not suppression.
Control.
She thinks it's still the 1600s.
CORDELIA: No.
Back then, our kind understood the dangers.
Today, so many families know nothing of their ancestry.
Too many girls aren't lucky enough to have found us or weren't identified in time for us to have found them.
Like that poor Cajun girl just outside Lafayette a few months back.
Misty Day.
She wasn't much older than any of you.
And she had a gift the power of resurgence.
MAN: --can only be saved by the word of God.
CORDELIA: Misty could reach into that place between life and death and draw a soul back from the precipice, back to this side, back to life.
To some, this appeared to be the God-touched power of resurrection.
To cast you in to darkness and sin.
CORDELIA: To others, necromancy.
MAN: To cast you into separation from God.
What happened to her? The same thing that's happened to women like us throughout the centuries.
Let me go! Let me go! [SOBBING] [COUGHING] [PANTING] [YELLING] It's you that will end in flames.
I swear it.
[SCREAMING] We are under siege, ladies.
Our lives, our very existence is always at risk.
Know this or face extinction.
This is Allegra.
She is the equivalent of a human female in her late 80s.
Allegra suffers from acute bradycardia her kidneys are failing she's lost the ability to swallow.
Allegra, in short, is dying.
Now, several hours after this video was taken we injected Allegra with our Serum RM47.
We expanded on the University of Wisconsin studies on induced pluripotent stem cells.
Meet Allegra today.
[SIGHS] I'll have what she's having.
Heh, and you will.
Sooner than you'd think.
We should be ready for human trials in two years' time.
This afternoon.
Preferably in the next half hour.
I have a dinner engagement.
I'm sorry, but, uh, well, that's impossible.
I hear you like to get sauced at biochemistry conventions and brag about how you're gonna win the Nobel Prize for the work you're doing here, research that has been entirely funded by my late husbands money.
I have made you rich soon to be famous.
I want that medicine.
I paid for it, and I want it.
Now.
You can't smoke in here.
Fiona you are a very beautiful woman.
But if you're just looking for something cosmetic I can recommend a plastic surgeon.
What I need is an infusion of vitality.
Of youth.
I want that drug, David, and I want it now.
Even if I wanted to give it to you, I couldn't.
What we do here is not magic.
I'm sorry.
[IRON BUTTERFLY'S "IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA" PLAYING] [SNIFFS] In a gadda da Vida, honey Don't you know that I'm lovin' you REPORTER [ON TV]: Communities across the county held candlelight vigils praying for Misty's safe return.
However, sources close to the family have declined to comment on the fact authorities now believe they have found the last known location of the missing girl.
Misty Day may have been burned at the stake though no official statement has been released.
Oh, won't you come with me And walk this land You made me leave my daughter's violin recital early.
You've been injecting me with your shit for five days now and nothing nothing has changed.
How do I know you're not just shooting me up with some sugar water? I have risked my career giving you these drugs.
They could kill you.
I could go to jail.
Double the dosage.
Pull our funding.
Give me more! We are organic matter.
We are animals.
We rot, we die.
I will tender my resignation in the morning.
No! What is this? How are you doing this? Get away from-- Get away from me! [GRUNTS] [GROANING] No.
Please.
My children.
Don't be such a baby.
Kiss me.
[ZHONG GRUNTS] Hey, Jeeves, can I get some iceberg lettuce with a side of blue cheese? Girl, be nice to Spalding.
Poor bastard ain't got no tongue.
Is that true? Did you use your tongue for something wicked? Or maybe you just suck at going down.
Oh, come on, Jeeves.
Show us your stub.
Maybe we can put it to use.
[MADISON CHUCKLES] So, new girl, what are you in for? Her boyfriend.
Nan, shut up before you get your ass in trouble.
Did you kill him? No.
It was an accident.
It was an accident, Zoe.
And you will find love again.
A strange and unexpected love.
Girl, are you deaf or just stupid? Tell us about this accident.
And don't spare all the gory details.
So why are you here? My agent staged an intervention.
Ever since my drunk and disorderly, I get blamed for shit that I didn't do.
But you did it.
You killed the man.
I get it, bitch, you're clairvoyant.
Wanna know what happened? Hi, boys.
So glad you all could come.
Gee, is it hot in here? Cut, cut.
You're still not hitting your mark.
I'm using the space.
That's a light.
If you don't hit your mark, that light can't hit you.
The light hit him just fine.
All he said was “hit your mark.
" Heh.
Do the world a favor and take an acting class you D-list, Botox bimbo.
[MADISON SCREAMS] Stop it, you bitch! Stop what? I don't feel nothing.
I'm a human voodoo doll.
You like this? Stop! You're gonna get in trouble.
Queenie, stop! I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Come on.
Let's take a walk.
A walk? Fine.
I'm not hungry anyway.
[SIGHS] Like anyone believes that.
Well, that was disturbing.
Given the choices here, looks like you're my new best friend.
[PHONE BUZZING] Do you own any clothes that don't come from the Gap? Not really.
Why? [SIGHS] You can borrow something of mine.
Frat party tonight.
Just got the tweet.
[CORDELIA GASPS] Ooh, you dropped your cocktail.
[CHUCKLES] I thought you were in Switzerland.
L.
A.
It's tragic.
The glamour's gone.
They put a shopping mall on Sunset and Vine.
I don't have a broom.
Heh, that's ironic.
Los Angeles? Why do you look so jet-lagged? I happen to look wonderful.
Let me make you something.
I've been working on a restorative I've been experimenting with.
This will fix you right up.
Delia, with her potions and powders.
One of my greatest disappointments in life is that you never fully realized the extent of your power.
I've done pretty well.
You are the only child of the Supreme.
You have royal blood running in your veins.
You could be ruling the world.
I like my little kingdom here, thank you.
Yeah, well, your little kingdom is a mess.
Ugh.
CORDELIA: No.
Oh.
You bitch.
It wouldn't have killed you.
Just put me in a coma for a couple days? Or weeks.
Look, why don't you just go away? I don't want you here.
How else do you want me to say it? You're still angry.
I can tell.
My God, you are the Supreme.
I was just on this wonderful spiritual retreat with Shirley MacLaine in Sedona.
It was about forgiveness.
You dumped me here.
You were sent to an elite boarding school.
Boo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo.
You know, I've often thought that my big mistake with you was waiting so long before sending you away.
Enough.
Show yourself out.
No.
I'm not going.
I'm staying.
I'm here to help you.
Do you know that not 50 miles from here a young woman was burned at the stake? It's Salem all over again.
There is a storm coming.
And you are leaving these poor girls under your charge completely unprepared for it.
I am aware of what's happening.
My entire teaching philosophy-- Has been an abject failure.
You teach them to cower and to hide in the shadows.
Well, there are no shadows, not anymore.
Do you really think with Twitter and Facebook that a witch does anything at all she won't be videotaped and turned into some viral freak show like a dog who says "I love you"? No, no, no.
This is my life.
You can't come in here and piss all over it.
I will call the council.
Do.
Call the council.
And then you can explain to them why you think it's a bad idea for the Supreme to teach them.
When are you gonna die and stop ruining my life? [SIGHS] I'm here.
I'm staying.
So why don't we make the best of it? KYLE: Okay, animals.
All right, let's listen up, okay? All right, we're gonna go over a few ground rules, gents.
The "no puke" rule will be strictly enforced.
I will not be drinking too much tonight so if I see any of you in danger of hurling in public I will send you back here to the penalty box.
MAN: Ooh.
That also goes for public urination and public exposure.
Believe me, Dalton, nobody's interested in seeing your dick no matter how small it is! [ALL CHEERING] Now, we're still on probation for the slightly misguided "blue mooning" episode and those pricks at the administration are just looking for a reason to cut our balls off, guys.
So I will sacrifice one night of a drunken stupor so my brothers can live to party another day! [ALL CHEERING] The administration can suck my cock! Yeah! Yeah! One, two, one, two, three! ALL : We are KL G! One, two, one, two, three! ALL : We are KL G! [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY ON SPEAKERS] [CROWD SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] Oh, my God, that's Madison Montgomery.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's prize tuna right there.
She's way out of your league.
What's a girl got to do to get a drink? Come with me.
Can't get a bite if you don't dangle your bait in the water.
[ATMOSPHERIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] [MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY] [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] Thought you looked thirsty.
Is that your superpower? You can sense dehydration? One of them.
Ah.
Frat boy, right? I think frats are full of fascists.
I don't mind being reduced to a stereotype, but I'm on a scholarship.
My mama lives down in the Ninth Ward.
Besides, didn't you come here with a movie star? Ha, ha.
[SIGHS] You wanna be my slave tonight? What's in it for me? Are you stupid? Slaves get nothing.
Now, why don't you get me another drink? It's on.
KYLE: Really? A finishing school? ZOE: Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies.
I don't wanna talk about me anymore, okay? You're the first hot girl who didn't wanna talk about herself.
There's gotta be something wrong with you.
I know.
You have a boyfriend.
No, I don't.
Kyle, I like you.
But it's not gonna work out.
Have you seen Madison? [PANTING] [MADISON GROANS] [GRUNTING] [BOY swans] [GRUNTING] Hey, I can't find her anywhere.
What, you think she ditched you? I'll look around upstairs.
Hang on.
Brush her hair back so you can see her face.
[MADISON GROANING] What the hell are you doing? Get off! Are you out of your mind? Wait your turn, man.
Come on, man.
Give me this.
Madison? [GROANS SOFTLY] Shit.
Hey.
Madison, hey.
Hey, did they give you something? [MUMBLES QUIETLY] BOY: Go, go! Get on the bus! It hurts.
Look, stay here, okay? I'm not gonna-- I'm not gonna let them getaway with this.
KYLE: Give me the phone.
BRENER: Eat shit.
Give me the phone, Brener.
Eat shit, Kyle! I'm calling the cops.
Unh! Hey.
What's going on back there? Get him off the bus.
Come on, man.
KYLE: Stop! BRENER: All right, everybody shut up! BOY: Close the door.
BRENER: Everybody shut up! First thing, delete the videos from your phones.
We stick together.
Stop! Stop! [PANTING] [PEOPLE SCREAM] MAN 1: Did you see that? MAN 2: Oh, my God! [EXPLOSION] WOMAN: They're in the bus! MAN 2: Call 911! MAN 3: Get them out.
The Louisiana campus is still in shock over the tragic bus crash last night.
Nine members of the fraternity Kappa Lambda Gamma were on board.
Seven of the boys died on the scene.
Two were rushed to Troost Medical Center where they remain in critical condition.
Officials will not confirm the identities of the deceased.
Hey, I was watching that.
Why? It's yesterdays news.
Got any Greek yogurt? We have to tell somebody what happened.
The one I met, Kyle? Madison, he tried to stop it, okay? And he was on that bus.
What are we talking about? College boys? Taken in the prime of their lives.
Such a tragedy.
Almost makes you wanna cry, doesn't it? But then, the worlds net gonna miss a bunch of assholes in Ed Hardy T-shirts.
Who are you? You know, I've gotta hand it to you.
A bus flip? That's not easy.
But you were sloppy, little witch bitch.
Go to hell, you stupid hag.
Say that.
Now, I've read all your files and you're never gonna become great women of our clan sitting around here at Hogwarts under the confused instruction of my daughter.
We're going on a field trip.
Jesus.
Go change your clothes.
Wear something black.
Where are we going? it's too hot.
My fricking vagina is sweating.
To Popp's Fountain.
A kind of holy place for our order.
Back in the 1970s Mary Oneida Toups led an alternative coven down here.
She and her sister witches would gather there proudly and publicly very much in the spirit of the times.
But it was damaged during Katrina and the authorities used this as an excuse to declare this sacred space a safety hazard.
It's been closed off ever since.
I don't understand.
What are we supposed to do if we can't get in? Tear the wall down.
When witches don't fight, we burn.
MADISON: This is the worst field trip ever.
Each one of you has a unique gift but that's not nearly enough to be a real witch.
And you're a real witch? She's the Supreme.
You know, that one heh, she's smarter than all of you put together.
GUIDE: The New Orleans Preservation Foundation is proud to present the haunted home tour of the notorious Madame LaLaurie.
This very house, the center of New Orleans high society was also a place of abject horror.
You want me to get her? FIONA: No.
Excuse me.
You cant just barge in on the tour without purchasing a ticket.
You're giving us a tour for free.
Free.
Of course.
The Code noir a decree that dictated the conditions of slavery, did not exist on these grounds.
It was replaced by the madame's own code of terror.
And the torture she inflicted on her slaves would spawn 179 years of hauntings.
WOMAN: Wasn't this house owned by the guy in Face/Off? GUIDE: Correct, the actor Nicolas Cage was a previous owner.
Madame LaLaurie was infamous for her vanity.
She fought the rigors of age with a sacrament of expensive creams from Europe and something else far more exotic.
Oh, I'm running out.
We gonna have to get some more.
No! Please, don't make me.
You think I wanna do this? You can blame your father and his fresh-faced whore.
Unless you'd like to split your inheritance with an endless parade of colored bastards.
[PANTING] [SCREAMING] Well GUIDE: The secret ingredient to the madame's beauty ritual was a poultice made from human pancreas.
This is the infamous chamber of horrors.
No flash photography, please.
The attic where Madame LaLaurie inflicted heinous torture upon her slaves where she ultimately met her own demise.
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH] Get off my property! I've heard that you are in need of my services.
What could a Negress have that I would want? Mo pélé Marie Laveau.
I have the cure for your husbands affliction.
His compulsion for young ladies.
I'll have you flogged for your insolence.
A love potion to ensure fidelity.
If the potion entrances as you promise, your future's assured.
To our future together.
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH] Mm.
It's like honeysuckle.
[sum-nus] Oh, yes.
Oh, no.
Oh, God! What did--? [YELLING INDISTINCTLY] [GROANS THEN COUGHS] Get it-- Get it out of me.
GUIDE: Unbeknownst to Madame LaLaurie a slave she had brutally mutilated was Marie Laveau's lover wand she came to exact her revenge.
[MAN SIGHS] Mon char, what has she clone to you? [gamma] The potion inflicted its cruel justice, and she got what she richly deserved.
But her body was never found.
To this day, no one knows the final resting place of Madame LaLaurie.
What do you hear? The lady of the house.
Oh, please.
Please let it be him, please.
It should have been you, asshole.
It's the second door on your left down the hall.
Make sure you stack them vertically.
I'm responsible for those girls.
What if something had happened? Well, nothing did.
Where's Zoe Benson? How would I know that? [CAR HORN HONKING] That's my taxi.
Here, darling.
Make sure you tip them generously when they're done.
Where are you going? Out.
Don't wait up.
I have half a mind to enchant the locks after you leave.
Don't make me drop a house on you.
ZOE: When the levees broke, the people of New Orleans were tested.
Those who stayed, stayed for a reason.
With that, came a sense of purpose and community.
That's what happens in a crisis.
All the bullshit falls away and what's left is just so raw and vulnerable.
It's agony to let people see you so exposed.
It takes a huge amount of trust wand for most of us, that trust was shattered long ago.
But, like it or not, we need each other and we need each other desperately.
My mother was right.
The world isn't safe for a girl like me.
But maybe I'm not safe for the world, either.
And since I'll never be able to experience real love might as well put this curse to some use.
[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY] [FLATLINING] Excellent work, gentlemen.
Just set it down right here.
Well, I'd thank you but you're never gonna remember any of this anyhow.
[GROANING] [swans HEAVILY] Come on, Mary Todd Lincoln.
I'll buy you a drink.