Batwoman (2019) s03e01 Episode Script
Mad as a Hatter
1
Last season on Batwoman
New look.
New Batwoman.
SOPHIE: What is this place? LUKE: It was where Bruce kept the weapons he confiscated from all the villains he took down.
When I was a kid, I drew pictures of how I imagined a Black Batman would look.
Turns out my dad was secretly turning those pictures into reality.
Your mother didn't die in childbirth, Ry-Ry.
Mommy dearest is still very much alive.
LUKE: So what's next, Batwoman? RYAN: We're gonna find that case of Batman trophies before anyone else does.
[FROGS CROAKING.]
[ROSES & REVOLUTION'S "LOOKING GLASS" PLAYING.]
Alone in the dark, but everything's crowded Already lost, and the race hasn't started I'm starting to find some peace of mind In knowing it doesn't matter what I do [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
DANA DEWITT: It didn't take long for the psychiatric unit at Gotham University hospital to make the recommendation to the courts.
Wonderland Gang leader Alice, AKA the missing and presumed dead Beth Kane, will not stand trial but instead will continue her residency at Arkham Asylum for the criminally insane.
ROSES & REVOLUTIONS: You can call me crazy You can call me mad You can call me crazy But it's the best thought I ever had Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Curiouser and curiouser.
I will show them exactly how wrong they are about you, and I will have so much fun doing it.
Heh.
Just as you would want, my dear, sweet Alice.
ROSES & REVOLUTION: The best thing I ever had - Raah! - Unh! Where were we? Oh, yeah.
Sidekick names.
[GRUNTING.]
LUKE: Just FYI, no sidekick actually likes being referred to as a sidekick.
Copy that, my number two dude.
Nope, not that either.
[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
ALICE: "All the more reason for me to find a way to get you out of there".
[DISTANT LAUGHTER.]
"I promise you I'm not giving up on you this time.
More to come" PEP SQUAD: Cry if I want to "Your father".
PEP SQUAD: Cry if I want to You would cry, too, if it happened to you It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to GUARD: Kane Visitor.
PEP SQUAD: If it happened to you LUKE: So I have an idea for a name.
Just please don't say Black Batman.
Seriously? Black Batman? Coming from the girl who inherited her code name.
You know what? I got one.
The Dork Knight.
Ha! Just look for the damn Poison Ivy.
Hey.
Are you sure they shipped it here? Believe it or not, Poison Ivy doesn't get a lot of action on the dark web, so I got creative, honed in on people who could actually benefit from a mystical, fast-growing vine, found these guys looking for a way to expand their marijuana crop.
The shipment was supposed to come in today.
Of all the artifacts that fell into the river, a Poison Ivy sprig doesn't exactly scream moneymaker.
Bingo.
Hey.
Is it just me, or has this quadrupled since Circe took it? Someone just probably got it wet.
Keep it away from the light.
PEP SQUAD: It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to - Yeah - Yeah, yeah Cry, cry I'll cry if I want to Aah! Cry if I want to Hey! You copy? What the hell was that? PEP SQUAD: Would cry, too, if it happened to you So, what, we're, uh, sisters now? Far from it.
I graduate med school tomorrow, and Dad's one wish was for me to check on you and keep you from going off the deep end, so this is me pretending to care so I don't have to lie to him when he calls me tomorrow to congratulate me.
That is so sweet - Mmm.
- But I'm good.
I can smell you through this partition, so I beg to differ.
See, that's the thing.
None of this matters because Daddy's gonna find a way to get me out of here.
Really? From the top bunk of his cell in Metropolis? Even incarcerated, Daddy's one of the most connected men in Gotham City.
What makes you believe that? Oh, he didn't tell you? Yeah.
We've been, um, writing, so I know you came to make sure that I was miserable, but I'm sorry to inform you I'm not.
Fine.
Then this is me punching in and promptly punching out.
See you, Alice.
[TAP TAP TAP.]
One quick question while I have you.
It's about your little pal Ryan.
4 down, how many still out there? A lot.
But at least in the meantime, we prevented Gotham from a cortisone shortage.
So you want to tell me why you froze up back there? I didn't freeze up.
The suit did.
It just glitches out sometimes.
Because I can't be watching both of our asses.
Yeah, I know that, and I'll fix it.
MARY: Graduation tickets.
I go on at 7:00, which means your butt needs to be in your seat at 6:30 sharp! So if there's a bomber threatening to take out half the city, just remember that I only become an official MD once, and people bomb Gotham every other day.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go shower off my encounter with Alice.
Apparently, she and my dad are pen pals now.
That's uncomfortable.
I've barely even heard from him since he was put away, but sure, reconnect with the chick who killed your second wife.
I'll just be graduating tomorrow.
You know, valedictorian, top of my class, but as long as Alice knows that you're thinking of her Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I know your family can't be there tomorrow, but this family can, and we won't miss it.
Yeah.
Oh.
That reminds me.
Alice told me to ask you about your birth mom.
- Huh? - She was like, "Ryan will know what I mean", and then she smiled like a total creep.
LUKE: Your mom died in childbirth.
That's dark even for Alice.
MARY: So you don't know what she's referring to? Since when does Alice ever make sense? MAN: I can relate to Alice on a deeply personal level, which is why I am here at her last known hideout, where society shoved her back into the sewers.
At the tender age of 13, she was lost, forgotten, held captive, tortured! Who wouldn't break under all that? Locking her away in Arkham is just victimizing her all over again! [MEN LAUGHING.]
You know you drank too much when you're seeing leprechauns.
Free Alice? That woman is a full-blown lunatic.
Alice is a survivor.
Pay her some respect.
Alice is just another victim of a flawed bureaucratic system.
She deserves her day in court.
Dude, why did why did you say that? Heh.
Heh heh.
No idea why I just said that.
Ha ha ha! Yeah.
What the hell was that? What's happening with your hat, huh? Let go of me! Curiouser and curiouser.
What the hell's going on? MAN: Uh, let's just get out of here, dude.
Stand still.
Why can't I move? Kill him.
I'm not killing my friend, freak.
Dude, what are you doing? No, no.
What are you doing? What are you doing? Aah! [GROANING.]
What the hell was that? What did you make me do, you psycho? You're a fricking psycho! Mad as a hatter.
Ha ha ha! [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
MAN: Yo.
Hey.
I have something for you.
I'm sleeping.
Go away.
I think you're gonna want to see this.
Isn't that the Batman guy, the Mad Hatter? I remember him from when I was a kid.
Move.
I swear I would I would never kill anyone.
It was like one second I'm I'm laughing at some some loser dressed up, and the next thing I know, I'm slicing open my buddy's throat.
It was completely out of my control.
What makes you think it was the Mad Hatter? Oh, Montoya.
Last I checked, you traded that big, shiny pin for a basement desk in the City Hall.
What's it again, freak squad? The Rogues Unit.
Was he short, old, what? Nah.
Younger.
Lanky, dork-like.
LUKE: He's a Mad Hatter imposter, which means he found the hat.
MAN: No, no.
What are you doing? No! No, no, no! What what the hell did you just do? I don't know what's more disturbing that, that he posted it, or that Alice actually has a fanboy.
Sorry.
How does a top hat make someone kill their drinking buddy? Right.
Meet Jervis Tetch, AKA the original Mad Hatter.
Now according to my dad, Jervis Tetch was a tiny, insecure, and annoying neuroscientist.
He felt like the world wasn't listening to him, so he developed mind control technology to force them to listen.
He built it directly into his hat.
Okay.
This says Bruce had the hat deprogrammed before he put it into the trophy case.
My guess is that the technology latches to the brain activity of the first person who puts it on.
If the hat is technology, can't we hack it or whatever? It's not exactly uploaded to the cloud.
We first need to get the hat off his head.
Well, how without falling victim to it in the process? 128 hertz of frequency.
Your dad figured out how to disrupt the hat's radio waves.
Okay.
So we know the how and the what.
We just need to know the where.
So if I were an Alice-obsessed Mad Hatter wannabe, where would I go? ALICE: I was wondering when you'd come crawling back.
You stormed out of here in such a huff last time, I was worried it was something I said.
Tell me what you're planning with your Mad Hatter superfan.
I told you I don't know him.
Well, he certainly knows a lot about you.
Have you watched the news? My identity's been outed, and some people actually appreciate that I'm just a girl standing in front of a psychiatric ward, asking them not to fry her brain.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, come on.
We both know I'm utterly helpless behind these walls.
You came because you want all the dirty deets on Mommy D.
I saw my birth mother's death certificate.
Nia A.
Wilder.
died the day I was born.
If you say so, dear.
What is this? Hmm? Are you lonely? You need to keep somebody on a leash to stop you from slipping into total isolation? Heh heh heh.
Am I lonely? Look at your life.
Your closest emotional connection is an ex in witness protection.
You have no one.
I gave you someone to fill the hole in your little, empty heart.
I have my friends.
Luke and Mary? Right.
Who you're so close to you couldn't even tell your birth mother lied to you all these years.
- We're done here.
- Sounds like your Mad Hatter's planning a tea party.
Do you know what he's planning, Alice? [SIGHS.]
I just know what I would do.
Which is? MARY: It would be so refreshing if a supervillain actually said what they meant for once.
What tea party? SOPHIE: Not to kill the mood, but the last tea party Alice had, she poisoned your mom.
So what, he's making it personal, more public? You know what? I should ask my dad.
Maybe he's chatted about it with Alice in their correspondence.
Okay.
You, my dear, are graduating top of your class, looking fine as hell might I add, and we are standing here talking about Alice.
Can we not let that bitch ruin the best thing we have going on right now, please? Fine.
Subject change.
Who's this Deja girl you ditched me for last night, hmm? I thought her name was Riley.
Oh, no.
Riley was last week.
Um, excuse me.
I'm allowed to date multiple women at once.
So I take it you and Kate are not happening? Oh, no.
They're good.
They're friends, but it's too complicated for anything more right now.
Thank you, Mary.
Yes to all of that.
Ryan Wilder, I think this is the most interest you've ever shown my love life.
At least somebody's getting some around here.
You know, the more I think about this tea party thing, if there's one person who can predict a lunatic's next move, it's another certifiable lunatic.
That's what I can't shake.
She has no reason to make this up.
She has every reason because this is all a game to her.
She's trying to feel relevant because she doesn't matter anymore.
Now seriously, drop it before y'all both kill my buzz.
Y'all know this wasn't a cheap-ass bottle of champagne.
I'm gonna go check on her.
I should go practice my speech.
SOPHIE: Want to tell me what happened at Arkham? Nothing because Alice was unhelpful and petulant and everything one would expect Alice to be.
Then if she was everything you expected, how'd she get under your skin? Ryan, what happened? She said my biological mother, who died giving birth to me, was actually still alive and that she covered it all up with a fake name so I'd never find her.
- Damn.
- And as much as I don't believe a word Alice says There's still a part of you that can't help but wonder "Is my mom still alive?" I take it Mary and Luke don't know.
I don't know if I want to know.
I was told my whole life that my dad was out of the picture and my mom died in the hospital.
What if I have a family out there? Want me to look into it on the DL? Thank you.
[THUMP THUMP THUMP.]
Testing 1, 2, 3.
MAN: Hey.
You're not supposed to be up here.
I got a guy matching the top hat loony from the news.
I'm just testing the microphone, making sure that my voice projects all the way to the back.
Perfect.
You're all here.
Gather around, friends.
It's a lovely afternoon for tea.
MAN, ON PHONE: Gotham City Vital Records.
Hi.
I was hoping you could e-mail me a birth certificate.
Mail only.
4-6 weeks.
Okay.
Thanks anyway.
I'll just hack into your system and find it myself.
Let's see.
Who was the attending physician? Dr.
Quadracci.
Shady doctor.
Here we go.
RENEE: Mayor Hartley.
See this sandwich, Montoya? I haven't eaten since 9:30.
The Mad Hatter's a copycat.
I think he's somehow gotten ahold of the original hat, which doesn't make sense because Batman took it off the streets and locked it down 20 years ago.
Am I special, or did you torture Mayor Akins, too? He hired me, ma'am, to run the Rogues Unit.
I convinced him it's only a matter of time before Batman's enemies come crawling out of the sewer looking for their toys, and here we are.
And it's not just the Mad Hatter's hat.
Of course it's not.
Apparently, a cutting of Poison Ivy was bouncing around the dark web for the past 3 days.
If someone's leaking these back onto the streets, I need to see what else is out there.
Look.
I am 30 days into this whole Mayor gig, and I am not putting the words "rogues" or "toys" onto my budget.
What about the words "mass casualty" and "preventable" on your resignation letter? Mayor, I love this city in my bones, and I need you to hear me before this becomes Jim Gordon's Gotham all over again.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
It's a two-drink limit, so sip slowly.
Okay.
What? Alice was right.
Nia A.
Wilder doesn't exist.
I saw her death certificate.
The doctor who signed her death certificate also signed your birth certificate.
Two months later, he lost his license for an unrelated wire fraud, so I honed in on him.
He had 25 patients in the days surrounding your birth.
I looked into all of them, and one came into the hospital a day before you were born, according to her medical files, she was suffering from a cyst on her ovary, so I followed the money.
She paid him $2 million after her so-called emergency surgery.
$2 million to cover up her pregnancy with me? Why? I have no idea, but your mom's still alive, Ryan.
And my dad? Nothing.
Just her.
Here.
If you want to know her name, and if you don't, I get that, too.
Two-drink limit? What are we talking about? Let's find our seats.
WOMAN: Okay.
Smile.
Okay.
Say, "Cheese!" Ha ha! Aah! Ready for your big speech? Dr.
Hall, sorry.
I was just having a moment.
I'm sure your family would be proud.
They'd better be.
You're one of the best students that's ever come through this school.
Thank you, Dr.
Hall.
MAD HATTER: Dr.
Hamilton, you are the spitting image of your mother.
Do no harm.
Today, we take the hippocratic oath But shouldn't it be called the hypocrite oath? I mean, doctors are supposed to uphold the highest ethical medical standards, right? Instead, it's "How many patients can I see in a day? And "Sorry.
We don't take that insurance" and "That bandage costs $300".
What happened to the Gotham medical community? [EXHALES.]
- Did she change her speech? - This is not her speech.
MARY, STRAINING: Don't even get me started on mental health care.
Do you know the process of institutionalizing someone? It took our Alma mater Gotham U under the oversight of our chair Dr.
Hall a measly 10 minutes to decide that Alice would be an Arkham lifer.
So what, we just give up on her? This is not Mary talking.
He got to her.
He's here.
What about the fact that she was victimized for over a decade, that her own family gave up on her, that she was replaced by me? This is what Alice meant.
This is his tea party.
If you have ear buds, put them on.
I'm texting you a disruptor frequency to block his mind control.
[CROWD MURMURING.]
[AUDIENCE MEMBERS GASP.]
MARY: No! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
MAD HATTER: Everybody shut up and take your seats until I instruct you otherwise.
The show is about to begin.
Now if you are going to wield the power of a god, prove you are worthy.
Remove this man's organs one at a time until he dies.
You need help.
You sound like all my doctors.
Okay.
We need to take him out.
No, no.
We can't do that.
He's already brain-jacked everyone here.
We need to get him to reverse it before Mary kills that guy.
How? Ask nicely? There is one person he'll listen to.
- No.
- Ryan, Mary's about to de-organ the chair of her university.
Absolutely not.
Okay.
What am I missing? We can get Liam to undo the mind control, but we have to break Alice out of Arkham first.
ALICE: It may have taken him 15 years and several dead wives, but daddy finally understands that I'm still his little girl, and he is going to use every last resource that he has left to get me out of this hell hole and as far away from Gotham as possible.
Alice, we've been over this.
Your father is incarcerated himself.
No one is coming to rescue you.
GUARD: Unh! Oh, okay.
Everyone stay calm.
Daddy? What? No.
Alice, we're going.
Let's go.
- Get off of me! - I need you to come with me! ALICE: Help, help! Help! Help me! MAD HATTER: I see she's found the appendix.
Starting with the unnecessary organs first, prolonging the inevitable.
SOPHIE: Appendix is out.
Luke, where are you? LUKE: Headed to the roof as we speak.
I can't stop any of Liam's previous commands.
Only he can do that, but this should protect everyone from any of his future commands.
[BEEPING.]
[CHIME.]
Get ready to rock.
[LOW ELECTRONIC HUM.]
MAD HATTER: What are you doing? Put your phones away.
Stop! Stop! [GRUNTING.]
[ALARM BLARING.]
Alice, I need you! Mary needs you! Open this damn door! My dad is gonna take me away from Gotham, from all of you! - Leave me alone! - Your dad's not coming, Alice! He is.
He told me.
He he promised in in his postcards.
He he promised.
- What, these? - Yeah.
This is an ad from a magazine, Alice.
It's for soap.
This is a page from the Arkham directory, a napkin from the cafeteria.
This is a coloring book page! - What? - Your dad is not writing to you.
He sent me these.
I read them with my own eyes.
Your mind is playing tricks on you.
Look.
I get it.
You lost Ocean, your dad, Kate.
Now you're back in here.
It's too much.
He's coming because he promised me he's coming.
It's garbage, Alice! Help us.
If you help us, you can run, and I won't stop you.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm sure that was a lot.
You want to talk about it? [SOFTLY.]
There's no point.
Did you say something? Alice? Alice, did you say something? Well, I can't exactly meet my future boyfriend in this, can I? [LOW HUM CONTINUES.]
[HEART MONITOR BEEPING.]
Mary.
I'm here.
What do we do? How do we save him? We can't.
I took his appendix, his gallbladder, a kidney, his spleen.
I'm down to vitals.
I have to keep removing his organs until he dies.
- Then kill him.
- What? Kill him.
He's got no chance if you remove anything else.
We shock his heart, he goes into cardiac arrest and dies just like the Mad Hatter guy wanted.
It'll break his mind control.
But then what? Then we pray like hell you can bring Dr.
Hall back to life.
[LOW HUM CONTINUES.]
[HUM STOPS.]
Graduates wearing those pretentious stethoscopes, make them useful.
Tie them around your throats! [GAGGING.]
Unh! [ALL GRUNTING.]
Hyah! Unh! What the hell happened? The damn suit fritzed out again.
[FLATLINE.]
Okay.
No pulse.
He's dead.
How do you feel? Like I have my own brain back.
It worked.
I broke his control.
Good.
Hopefully, this does, too.
Okay.
Charge.
[BEEPING.]
Clear.
Charge.
Clear.
[HEART MONITOR BEEPING.]
[GAGGING.]
Such wasted potential.
ALICE: Ah, the old strangle yourself to death gag.
It's a classic.
You're supposed to be in Arkham.
Well, I had to meet my number one fan.
Heh heh.
What did I miss? Do you remember when you forced Catherine Hamilton to reveal what a garbage human she is in front of all her peers? - Mm-hmm.
- I just did the same thing to her daughter.
- Clever boy.
- It's true.
Doctors are all the same.
They think they're gods amongst men.
Why should I be institutionalized? Because you think I'm crazy? Because I see the world a little differently than you? Sorry for being my own person! Heh heh.
I heard you filmed yourself throwing a kitten off a rooftop.
- You heard about that.
- Mmm.
Yeah.
Did you see it? 5,070 views.
[GASPS.]
Heh heh.
Tell all these people to stop.
Alice they have too much power.
Think about it.
All they have to do is sign a piece of paper, and surprise, you're bankrupt! Surprise, you're addicted to medication.
Surprise, you're labeled crazy forever and ever.
I'm not crazy, Alice! If any of these people die, they will have a reason to lock you away forever.
Do you think I'm crazy? The truth.
No I don't think you're crazy.
If it wasn't for you, guys like me wouldn't have heroes.
Stop killing yourselves.
Get out of here.
There.
Did that earn me a hug? Heh.
Yeah.
Ahem.
[STAB.]
Frequency jammers.
You're as crazy as they come, dear.
Word of advice don't ever meet your heroes.
You really are the monster they say you are.
That's me.
What the hell are you? I didn't kill him.
He's fine.
You didn't think I was actually gonna let you go? You two-faced bitch.
I saved all those people for you.
No.
For you because in that warped mind you somehow thought today would undo the hundreds of horrible things you've done.
Please.
This is about payback because you can't handle the truth.
Don't hate me because your family might be more screwed up than mine.
Get her out of here! MARY: In conclusion, my fellow graduates, I challenge each and every one of you to wake up every morning and ask yourself "How can I end this day better than how it started?" With one more saved life, one more cancer-free scan, one more smile because if we can do that every day, together, we can leave this world a better place than how we found it.
Whoo! A happy ending to the worst commencement ceremony in history.
Thanks.
Look.
Today, was awful, and Liam is obviously sick, but he did make some good points about the medical community like for one maybe we should stop referring to troubled people as crazy lunatics.
RYAN: Even Alice? Heh.
Even Alice.
Then I get to say something.
Toast time Mary, you have probably saved more people than anyone in this city.
You are the person that I go to for advice, for a shoulder to cry on, for let's face it pain meds.
You didn't need an MD for the people who love you to know that you are a true hero, and it's really dope we get to call you Dr.
Hamilton.
- Hey! - Congrats, roomie! We are so proud of you.
- SOPHIE: Love you, Mary.
- MARY: Cheers.
MEG MAC: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Okay.
Not to bail early, but I need to figure out why my suit is crashing, or Ryan will never let me be her wingman again, so Wait a minute.
Wingman.
Bat wing.
Batwing.
Ooh.
That's good.
I'll take that under consideration.
Good night.
RYAN: Actually, can I show you something downstairs? SOPHIE: Yeah, sure.
MARY: Okay.
Cool.
Ahem.
I'll just be, um MEG MAC: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Everything is gonna be all right I'll keep the champagne cold.
RYAN: Mary, Luke, the Bat that's my family.
I finally have everything I want.
Why risk losing it just to get to know a woman who had no desire knowing me? My opinion? Because she's still your mom.
My whole life I wanted a family, I wanted answers, I wanted to belong to someone and for someone to belong to me, but that look on Liam's face today when Alice wasn't who he needed her to be, it's not worth it.
I'm good.
Then consider it out of your life.
MOLLY KATE KESTNER: All my colors comin' out Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Livin' out, livin' out, livin' out no life Found hope in the darknest night WOMAN: Yeah.
Dubai loved it.
Have the lawyers write up a contract and get them a prototype they can play with.
- Ma'am.
- Ohh.
Tell me you're not bringing me drama before I've had my red wine.
Just got word of a security breach.
Then have the cyber team do their thing.
Why are you bothering me with it? Because I don't think you'll want the cyber team looking into it.
Somebody's been fishing for very specific data, not on the company, on you, ma'am.
All my colors comin' out Colors comin' out Ooh, you're gonna see me now MAN'S VOICE: Lucas Fox.
In the crowd Oh, you're If you're hearing this message, it means you found the suit.
Dad? Dad, how am I hearing your voice right now? Because I'm your dad, and I always know when you need me.
Ooh, ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Never seen you before.
You a cop? Fortunately for you, no.
How do you have this list? Over a dozen weapons of mass destruction are belly up in the Gotham river somewhere, and your main concern is how I know? I'm cleaning it up.
I'm sure that warms the parents of the kid whose buddy slit open his throat the other night.
Where'd you get this list? ALICE: From me in exchange for my freedom.
I don't know who you are, but teaming up with Gotham's most prolific criminal is gonna blow up in your face.
It worked out well for you today.
You and Alice stopped a madman, and he's just the beginning.
- Why did you call me here? - You're strong, and you have access.
She's got the mind of a psychopath, so together, you two are gonna find and stop every freak who gets his hands on one of these weapons until each of the items on that list are found and accounted for.
Hard pass.
It's just as easy for me to shut down your illegal vigilante operation Ryan Wilder.
- Heh.
- Wow! All that time my boyfriend, father, sister spent trying to break through to my good side tsk, tsk, tsk silly them.
It's so much more fun on my bad side.
RENEE: So do we have a deal or what? Oh, yes.
I for one am in.
Batwoman, answer the question.
You in, or are you hanging up the cape? Sounds like I don't have a choice.
MAN: Greg, move your head!
New Batwoman.
SOPHIE: What is this place? LUKE: It was where Bruce kept the weapons he confiscated from all the villains he took down.
When I was a kid, I drew pictures of how I imagined a Black Batman would look.
Turns out my dad was secretly turning those pictures into reality.
Your mother didn't die in childbirth, Ry-Ry.
Mommy dearest is still very much alive.
LUKE: So what's next, Batwoman? RYAN: We're gonna find that case of Batman trophies before anyone else does.
[FROGS CROAKING.]
[ROSES & REVOLUTION'S "LOOKING GLASS" PLAYING.]
Alone in the dark, but everything's crowded Already lost, and the race hasn't started I'm starting to find some peace of mind In knowing it doesn't matter what I do [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
DANA DEWITT: It didn't take long for the psychiatric unit at Gotham University hospital to make the recommendation to the courts.
Wonderland Gang leader Alice, AKA the missing and presumed dead Beth Kane, will not stand trial but instead will continue her residency at Arkham Asylum for the criminally insane.
ROSES & REVOLUTIONS: You can call me crazy You can call me mad You can call me crazy But it's the best thought I ever had Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Curiouser and curiouser.
I will show them exactly how wrong they are about you, and I will have so much fun doing it.
Heh.
Just as you would want, my dear, sweet Alice.
ROSES & REVOLUTION: The best thing I ever had - Raah! - Unh! Where were we? Oh, yeah.
Sidekick names.
[GRUNTING.]
LUKE: Just FYI, no sidekick actually likes being referred to as a sidekick.
Copy that, my number two dude.
Nope, not that either.
[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
ALICE: "All the more reason for me to find a way to get you out of there".
[DISTANT LAUGHTER.]
"I promise you I'm not giving up on you this time.
More to come" PEP SQUAD: Cry if I want to "Your father".
PEP SQUAD: Cry if I want to You would cry, too, if it happened to you It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to GUARD: Kane Visitor.
PEP SQUAD: If it happened to you LUKE: So I have an idea for a name.
Just please don't say Black Batman.
Seriously? Black Batman? Coming from the girl who inherited her code name.
You know what? I got one.
The Dork Knight.
Ha! Just look for the damn Poison Ivy.
Hey.
Are you sure they shipped it here? Believe it or not, Poison Ivy doesn't get a lot of action on the dark web, so I got creative, honed in on people who could actually benefit from a mystical, fast-growing vine, found these guys looking for a way to expand their marijuana crop.
The shipment was supposed to come in today.
Of all the artifacts that fell into the river, a Poison Ivy sprig doesn't exactly scream moneymaker.
Bingo.
Hey.
Is it just me, or has this quadrupled since Circe took it? Someone just probably got it wet.
Keep it away from the light.
PEP SQUAD: It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to - Yeah - Yeah, yeah Cry, cry I'll cry if I want to Aah! Cry if I want to Hey! You copy? What the hell was that? PEP SQUAD: Would cry, too, if it happened to you So, what, we're, uh, sisters now? Far from it.
I graduate med school tomorrow, and Dad's one wish was for me to check on you and keep you from going off the deep end, so this is me pretending to care so I don't have to lie to him when he calls me tomorrow to congratulate me.
That is so sweet - Mmm.
- But I'm good.
I can smell you through this partition, so I beg to differ.
See, that's the thing.
None of this matters because Daddy's gonna find a way to get me out of here.
Really? From the top bunk of his cell in Metropolis? Even incarcerated, Daddy's one of the most connected men in Gotham City.
What makes you believe that? Oh, he didn't tell you? Yeah.
We've been, um, writing, so I know you came to make sure that I was miserable, but I'm sorry to inform you I'm not.
Fine.
Then this is me punching in and promptly punching out.
See you, Alice.
[TAP TAP TAP.]
One quick question while I have you.
It's about your little pal Ryan.
4 down, how many still out there? A lot.
But at least in the meantime, we prevented Gotham from a cortisone shortage.
So you want to tell me why you froze up back there? I didn't freeze up.
The suit did.
It just glitches out sometimes.
Because I can't be watching both of our asses.
Yeah, I know that, and I'll fix it.
MARY: Graduation tickets.
I go on at 7:00, which means your butt needs to be in your seat at 6:30 sharp! So if there's a bomber threatening to take out half the city, just remember that I only become an official MD once, and people bomb Gotham every other day.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go shower off my encounter with Alice.
Apparently, she and my dad are pen pals now.
That's uncomfortable.
I've barely even heard from him since he was put away, but sure, reconnect with the chick who killed your second wife.
I'll just be graduating tomorrow.
You know, valedictorian, top of my class, but as long as Alice knows that you're thinking of her Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I know your family can't be there tomorrow, but this family can, and we won't miss it.
Yeah.
Oh.
That reminds me.
Alice told me to ask you about your birth mom.
- Huh? - She was like, "Ryan will know what I mean", and then she smiled like a total creep.
LUKE: Your mom died in childbirth.
That's dark even for Alice.
MARY: So you don't know what she's referring to? Since when does Alice ever make sense? MAN: I can relate to Alice on a deeply personal level, which is why I am here at her last known hideout, where society shoved her back into the sewers.
At the tender age of 13, she was lost, forgotten, held captive, tortured! Who wouldn't break under all that? Locking her away in Arkham is just victimizing her all over again! [MEN LAUGHING.]
You know you drank too much when you're seeing leprechauns.
Free Alice? That woman is a full-blown lunatic.
Alice is a survivor.
Pay her some respect.
Alice is just another victim of a flawed bureaucratic system.
She deserves her day in court.
Dude, why did why did you say that? Heh.
Heh heh.
No idea why I just said that.
Ha ha ha! Yeah.
What the hell was that? What's happening with your hat, huh? Let go of me! Curiouser and curiouser.
What the hell's going on? MAN: Uh, let's just get out of here, dude.
Stand still.
Why can't I move? Kill him.
I'm not killing my friend, freak.
Dude, what are you doing? No, no.
What are you doing? What are you doing? Aah! [GROANING.]
What the hell was that? What did you make me do, you psycho? You're a fricking psycho! Mad as a hatter.
Ha ha ha! [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
MAN: Yo.
Hey.
I have something for you.
I'm sleeping.
Go away.
I think you're gonna want to see this.
Isn't that the Batman guy, the Mad Hatter? I remember him from when I was a kid.
Move.
I swear I would I would never kill anyone.
It was like one second I'm I'm laughing at some some loser dressed up, and the next thing I know, I'm slicing open my buddy's throat.
It was completely out of my control.
What makes you think it was the Mad Hatter? Oh, Montoya.
Last I checked, you traded that big, shiny pin for a basement desk in the City Hall.
What's it again, freak squad? The Rogues Unit.
Was he short, old, what? Nah.
Younger.
Lanky, dork-like.
LUKE: He's a Mad Hatter imposter, which means he found the hat.
MAN: No, no.
What are you doing? No! No, no, no! What what the hell did you just do? I don't know what's more disturbing that, that he posted it, or that Alice actually has a fanboy.
Sorry.
How does a top hat make someone kill their drinking buddy? Right.
Meet Jervis Tetch, AKA the original Mad Hatter.
Now according to my dad, Jervis Tetch was a tiny, insecure, and annoying neuroscientist.
He felt like the world wasn't listening to him, so he developed mind control technology to force them to listen.
He built it directly into his hat.
Okay.
This says Bruce had the hat deprogrammed before he put it into the trophy case.
My guess is that the technology latches to the brain activity of the first person who puts it on.
If the hat is technology, can't we hack it or whatever? It's not exactly uploaded to the cloud.
We first need to get the hat off his head.
Well, how without falling victim to it in the process? 128 hertz of frequency.
Your dad figured out how to disrupt the hat's radio waves.
Okay.
So we know the how and the what.
We just need to know the where.
So if I were an Alice-obsessed Mad Hatter wannabe, where would I go? ALICE: I was wondering when you'd come crawling back.
You stormed out of here in such a huff last time, I was worried it was something I said.
Tell me what you're planning with your Mad Hatter superfan.
I told you I don't know him.
Well, he certainly knows a lot about you.
Have you watched the news? My identity's been outed, and some people actually appreciate that I'm just a girl standing in front of a psychiatric ward, asking them not to fry her brain.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, come on.
We both know I'm utterly helpless behind these walls.
You came because you want all the dirty deets on Mommy D.
I saw my birth mother's death certificate.
Nia A.
Wilder.
died the day I was born.
If you say so, dear.
What is this? Hmm? Are you lonely? You need to keep somebody on a leash to stop you from slipping into total isolation? Heh heh heh.
Am I lonely? Look at your life.
Your closest emotional connection is an ex in witness protection.
You have no one.
I gave you someone to fill the hole in your little, empty heart.
I have my friends.
Luke and Mary? Right.
Who you're so close to you couldn't even tell your birth mother lied to you all these years.
- We're done here.
- Sounds like your Mad Hatter's planning a tea party.
Do you know what he's planning, Alice? [SIGHS.]
I just know what I would do.
Which is? MARY: It would be so refreshing if a supervillain actually said what they meant for once.
What tea party? SOPHIE: Not to kill the mood, but the last tea party Alice had, she poisoned your mom.
So what, he's making it personal, more public? You know what? I should ask my dad.
Maybe he's chatted about it with Alice in their correspondence.
Okay.
You, my dear, are graduating top of your class, looking fine as hell might I add, and we are standing here talking about Alice.
Can we not let that bitch ruin the best thing we have going on right now, please? Fine.
Subject change.
Who's this Deja girl you ditched me for last night, hmm? I thought her name was Riley.
Oh, no.
Riley was last week.
Um, excuse me.
I'm allowed to date multiple women at once.
So I take it you and Kate are not happening? Oh, no.
They're good.
They're friends, but it's too complicated for anything more right now.
Thank you, Mary.
Yes to all of that.
Ryan Wilder, I think this is the most interest you've ever shown my love life.
At least somebody's getting some around here.
You know, the more I think about this tea party thing, if there's one person who can predict a lunatic's next move, it's another certifiable lunatic.
That's what I can't shake.
She has no reason to make this up.
She has every reason because this is all a game to her.
She's trying to feel relevant because she doesn't matter anymore.
Now seriously, drop it before y'all both kill my buzz.
Y'all know this wasn't a cheap-ass bottle of champagne.
I'm gonna go check on her.
I should go practice my speech.
SOPHIE: Want to tell me what happened at Arkham? Nothing because Alice was unhelpful and petulant and everything one would expect Alice to be.
Then if she was everything you expected, how'd she get under your skin? Ryan, what happened? She said my biological mother, who died giving birth to me, was actually still alive and that she covered it all up with a fake name so I'd never find her.
- Damn.
- And as much as I don't believe a word Alice says There's still a part of you that can't help but wonder "Is my mom still alive?" I take it Mary and Luke don't know.
I don't know if I want to know.
I was told my whole life that my dad was out of the picture and my mom died in the hospital.
What if I have a family out there? Want me to look into it on the DL? Thank you.
[THUMP THUMP THUMP.]
Testing 1, 2, 3.
MAN: Hey.
You're not supposed to be up here.
I got a guy matching the top hat loony from the news.
I'm just testing the microphone, making sure that my voice projects all the way to the back.
Perfect.
You're all here.
Gather around, friends.
It's a lovely afternoon for tea.
MAN, ON PHONE: Gotham City Vital Records.
Hi.
I was hoping you could e-mail me a birth certificate.
Mail only.
4-6 weeks.
Okay.
Thanks anyway.
I'll just hack into your system and find it myself.
Let's see.
Who was the attending physician? Dr.
Quadracci.
Shady doctor.
Here we go.
RENEE: Mayor Hartley.
See this sandwich, Montoya? I haven't eaten since 9:30.
The Mad Hatter's a copycat.
I think he's somehow gotten ahold of the original hat, which doesn't make sense because Batman took it off the streets and locked it down 20 years ago.
Am I special, or did you torture Mayor Akins, too? He hired me, ma'am, to run the Rogues Unit.
I convinced him it's only a matter of time before Batman's enemies come crawling out of the sewer looking for their toys, and here we are.
And it's not just the Mad Hatter's hat.
Of course it's not.
Apparently, a cutting of Poison Ivy was bouncing around the dark web for the past 3 days.
If someone's leaking these back onto the streets, I need to see what else is out there.
Look.
I am 30 days into this whole Mayor gig, and I am not putting the words "rogues" or "toys" onto my budget.
What about the words "mass casualty" and "preventable" on your resignation letter? Mayor, I love this city in my bones, and I need you to hear me before this becomes Jim Gordon's Gotham all over again.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
It's a two-drink limit, so sip slowly.
Okay.
What? Alice was right.
Nia A.
Wilder doesn't exist.
I saw her death certificate.
The doctor who signed her death certificate also signed your birth certificate.
Two months later, he lost his license for an unrelated wire fraud, so I honed in on him.
He had 25 patients in the days surrounding your birth.
I looked into all of them, and one came into the hospital a day before you were born, according to her medical files, she was suffering from a cyst on her ovary, so I followed the money.
She paid him $2 million after her so-called emergency surgery.
$2 million to cover up her pregnancy with me? Why? I have no idea, but your mom's still alive, Ryan.
And my dad? Nothing.
Just her.
Here.
If you want to know her name, and if you don't, I get that, too.
Two-drink limit? What are we talking about? Let's find our seats.
WOMAN: Okay.
Smile.
Okay.
Say, "Cheese!" Ha ha! Aah! Ready for your big speech? Dr.
Hall, sorry.
I was just having a moment.
I'm sure your family would be proud.
They'd better be.
You're one of the best students that's ever come through this school.
Thank you, Dr.
Hall.
MAD HATTER: Dr.
Hamilton, you are the spitting image of your mother.
Do no harm.
Today, we take the hippocratic oath But shouldn't it be called the hypocrite oath? I mean, doctors are supposed to uphold the highest ethical medical standards, right? Instead, it's "How many patients can I see in a day? And "Sorry.
We don't take that insurance" and "That bandage costs $300".
What happened to the Gotham medical community? [EXHALES.]
- Did she change her speech? - This is not her speech.
MARY, STRAINING: Don't even get me started on mental health care.
Do you know the process of institutionalizing someone? It took our Alma mater Gotham U under the oversight of our chair Dr.
Hall a measly 10 minutes to decide that Alice would be an Arkham lifer.
So what, we just give up on her? This is not Mary talking.
He got to her.
He's here.
What about the fact that she was victimized for over a decade, that her own family gave up on her, that she was replaced by me? This is what Alice meant.
This is his tea party.
If you have ear buds, put them on.
I'm texting you a disruptor frequency to block his mind control.
[CROWD MURMURING.]
[AUDIENCE MEMBERS GASP.]
MARY: No! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
MAD HATTER: Everybody shut up and take your seats until I instruct you otherwise.
The show is about to begin.
Now if you are going to wield the power of a god, prove you are worthy.
Remove this man's organs one at a time until he dies.
You need help.
You sound like all my doctors.
Okay.
We need to take him out.
No, no.
We can't do that.
He's already brain-jacked everyone here.
We need to get him to reverse it before Mary kills that guy.
How? Ask nicely? There is one person he'll listen to.
- No.
- Ryan, Mary's about to de-organ the chair of her university.
Absolutely not.
Okay.
What am I missing? We can get Liam to undo the mind control, but we have to break Alice out of Arkham first.
ALICE: It may have taken him 15 years and several dead wives, but daddy finally understands that I'm still his little girl, and he is going to use every last resource that he has left to get me out of this hell hole and as far away from Gotham as possible.
Alice, we've been over this.
Your father is incarcerated himself.
No one is coming to rescue you.
GUARD: Unh! Oh, okay.
Everyone stay calm.
Daddy? What? No.
Alice, we're going.
Let's go.
- Get off of me! - I need you to come with me! ALICE: Help, help! Help! Help me! MAD HATTER: I see she's found the appendix.
Starting with the unnecessary organs first, prolonging the inevitable.
SOPHIE: Appendix is out.
Luke, where are you? LUKE: Headed to the roof as we speak.
I can't stop any of Liam's previous commands.
Only he can do that, but this should protect everyone from any of his future commands.
[BEEPING.]
[CHIME.]
Get ready to rock.
[LOW ELECTRONIC HUM.]
MAD HATTER: What are you doing? Put your phones away.
Stop! Stop! [GRUNTING.]
[ALARM BLARING.]
Alice, I need you! Mary needs you! Open this damn door! My dad is gonna take me away from Gotham, from all of you! - Leave me alone! - Your dad's not coming, Alice! He is.
He told me.
He he promised in in his postcards.
He he promised.
- What, these? - Yeah.
This is an ad from a magazine, Alice.
It's for soap.
This is a page from the Arkham directory, a napkin from the cafeteria.
This is a coloring book page! - What? - Your dad is not writing to you.
He sent me these.
I read them with my own eyes.
Your mind is playing tricks on you.
Look.
I get it.
You lost Ocean, your dad, Kate.
Now you're back in here.
It's too much.
He's coming because he promised me he's coming.
It's garbage, Alice! Help us.
If you help us, you can run, and I won't stop you.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm sure that was a lot.
You want to talk about it? [SOFTLY.]
There's no point.
Did you say something? Alice? Alice, did you say something? Well, I can't exactly meet my future boyfriend in this, can I? [LOW HUM CONTINUES.]
[HEART MONITOR BEEPING.]
Mary.
I'm here.
What do we do? How do we save him? We can't.
I took his appendix, his gallbladder, a kidney, his spleen.
I'm down to vitals.
I have to keep removing his organs until he dies.
- Then kill him.
- What? Kill him.
He's got no chance if you remove anything else.
We shock his heart, he goes into cardiac arrest and dies just like the Mad Hatter guy wanted.
It'll break his mind control.
But then what? Then we pray like hell you can bring Dr.
Hall back to life.
[LOW HUM CONTINUES.]
[HUM STOPS.]
Graduates wearing those pretentious stethoscopes, make them useful.
Tie them around your throats! [GAGGING.]
Unh! [ALL GRUNTING.]
Hyah! Unh! What the hell happened? The damn suit fritzed out again.
[FLATLINE.]
Okay.
No pulse.
He's dead.
How do you feel? Like I have my own brain back.
It worked.
I broke his control.
Good.
Hopefully, this does, too.
Okay.
Charge.
[BEEPING.]
Clear.
Charge.
Clear.
[HEART MONITOR BEEPING.]
[GAGGING.]
Such wasted potential.
ALICE: Ah, the old strangle yourself to death gag.
It's a classic.
You're supposed to be in Arkham.
Well, I had to meet my number one fan.
Heh heh.
What did I miss? Do you remember when you forced Catherine Hamilton to reveal what a garbage human she is in front of all her peers? - Mm-hmm.
- I just did the same thing to her daughter.
- Clever boy.
- It's true.
Doctors are all the same.
They think they're gods amongst men.
Why should I be institutionalized? Because you think I'm crazy? Because I see the world a little differently than you? Sorry for being my own person! Heh heh.
I heard you filmed yourself throwing a kitten off a rooftop.
- You heard about that.
- Mmm.
Yeah.
Did you see it? 5,070 views.
[GASPS.]
Heh heh.
Tell all these people to stop.
Alice they have too much power.
Think about it.
All they have to do is sign a piece of paper, and surprise, you're bankrupt! Surprise, you're addicted to medication.
Surprise, you're labeled crazy forever and ever.
I'm not crazy, Alice! If any of these people die, they will have a reason to lock you away forever.
Do you think I'm crazy? The truth.
No I don't think you're crazy.
If it wasn't for you, guys like me wouldn't have heroes.
Stop killing yourselves.
Get out of here.
There.
Did that earn me a hug? Heh.
Yeah.
Ahem.
[STAB.]
Frequency jammers.
You're as crazy as they come, dear.
Word of advice don't ever meet your heroes.
You really are the monster they say you are.
That's me.
What the hell are you? I didn't kill him.
He's fine.
You didn't think I was actually gonna let you go? You two-faced bitch.
I saved all those people for you.
No.
For you because in that warped mind you somehow thought today would undo the hundreds of horrible things you've done.
Please.
This is about payback because you can't handle the truth.
Don't hate me because your family might be more screwed up than mine.
Get her out of here! MARY: In conclusion, my fellow graduates, I challenge each and every one of you to wake up every morning and ask yourself "How can I end this day better than how it started?" With one more saved life, one more cancer-free scan, one more smile because if we can do that every day, together, we can leave this world a better place than how we found it.
Whoo! A happy ending to the worst commencement ceremony in history.
Thanks.
Look.
Today, was awful, and Liam is obviously sick, but he did make some good points about the medical community like for one maybe we should stop referring to troubled people as crazy lunatics.
RYAN: Even Alice? Heh.
Even Alice.
Then I get to say something.
Toast time Mary, you have probably saved more people than anyone in this city.
You are the person that I go to for advice, for a shoulder to cry on, for let's face it pain meds.
You didn't need an MD for the people who love you to know that you are a true hero, and it's really dope we get to call you Dr.
Hamilton.
- Hey! - Congrats, roomie! We are so proud of you.
- SOPHIE: Love you, Mary.
- MARY: Cheers.
MEG MAC: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Okay.
Not to bail early, but I need to figure out why my suit is crashing, or Ryan will never let me be her wingman again, so Wait a minute.
Wingman.
Bat wing.
Batwing.
Ooh.
That's good.
I'll take that under consideration.
Good night.
RYAN: Actually, can I show you something downstairs? SOPHIE: Yeah, sure.
MARY: Okay.
Cool.
Ahem.
I'll just be, um MEG MAC: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Everything is gonna be all right I'll keep the champagne cold.
RYAN: Mary, Luke, the Bat that's my family.
I finally have everything I want.
Why risk losing it just to get to know a woman who had no desire knowing me? My opinion? Because she's still your mom.
My whole life I wanted a family, I wanted answers, I wanted to belong to someone and for someone to belong to me, but that look on Liam's face today when Alice wasn't who he needed her to be, it's not worth it.
I'm good.
Then consider it out of your life.
MOLLY KATE KESTNER: All my colors comin' out Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Livin' out, livin' out, livin' out no life Found hope in the darknest night WOMAN: Yeah.
Dubai loved it.
Have the lawyers write up a contract and get them a prototype they can play with.
- Ma'am.
- Ohh.
Tell me you're not bringing me drama before I've had my red wine.
Just got word of a security breach.
Then have the cyber team do their thing.
Why are you bothering me with it? Because I don't think you'll want the cyber team looking into it.
Somebody's been fishing for very specific data, not on the company, on you, ma'am.
All my colors comin' out Colors comin' out Ooh, you're gonna see me now MAN'S VOICE: Lucas Fox.
In the crowd Oh, you're If you're hearing this message, it means you found the suit.
Dad? Dad, how am I hearing your voice right now? Because I'm your dad, and I always know when you need me.
Ooh, ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh - Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Never seen you before.
You a cop? Fortunately for you, no.
How do you have this list? Over a dozen weapons of mass destruction are belly up in the Gotham river somewhere, and your main concern is how I know? I'm cleaning it up.
I'm sure that warms the parents of the kid whose buddy slit open his throat the other night.
Where'd you get this list? ALICE: From me in exchange for my freedom.
I don't know who you are, but teaming up with Gotham's most prolific criminal is gonna blow up in your face.
It worked out well for you today.
You and Alice stopped a madman, and he's just the beginning.
- Why did you call me here? - You're strong, and you have access.
She's got the mind of a psychopath, so together, you two are gonna find and stop every freak who gets his hands on one of these weapons until each of the items on that list are found and accounted for.
Hard pass.
It's just as easy for me to shut down your illegal vigilante operation Ryan Wilder.
- Heh.
- Wow! All that time my boyfriend, father, sister spent trying to break through to my good side tsk, tsk, tsk silly them.
It's so much more fun on my bad side.
RENEE: So do we have a deal or what? Oh, yes.
I for one am in.
Batwoman, answer the question.
You in, or are you hanging up the cape? Sounds like I don't have a choice.
MAN: Greg, move your head!