Baywatch (1989) s05e08 Episode Script

1 - Some people stand in the darkness afraid to step into the light some people need to have somebody when the edge of surrender's in sight don't you worry it's gonna be all right 'cause I'm always ready I won't let you out of my sight I'll be ready I'll be ready never you fear no, don't you fear I'll be ready forever and always I'm always here 'Cause I'm always ready I won't let you out of my sight I'll be ready I'll be ready never you fear no, don't you fear I'll be ready forever and always I'm always here This is our endless summer we can let everything go in my mind she hovers in my heart she grows how time flies enjoy the ride I finally found paradise is this for real she is my paradise Good morning Mr.
and Ms.
Pacific, and I'm being quite specific, if you get my driftwood.
This is Larry loomin' large.
And we're in the warm California sun at the grand opening of the Sandy kaye cafe, that health-happy hangout where the elite meet to eat in as little as possible.
And in honor of the big event, some lucky buccaneer or buccaneerette is gonna score 100 gs, all courtesy of kgas 107 and yours truly, Larry loomin' large.
So heed my words carefully, all ye rogues and roguettes because somewhere on these shores are hidden the keys to winning a 300-year-old pirate doubloon.
Appraised at over $100,000.
This coin was recovered from the wreck of the sea devil, a sunken pirate ship skippered by the legendary brigand, captain Flynn.
Now all you treasure hunter have to do to win the coin is to find the various fragments of captain Flynn's last will and testament.
Parts of which are scattered underneath the sands.
Look through the rocks.
Perhaps even beneath the sea.
As a matter of fact, anywhere on the bounding main is fair game.
Put the phrases together and bring them back to me before the sun sets into the shining sea.
Recite them on the air, in order, and you'll be a winner.
A $100,000 winner.
And now I'd like to introduce the only person on earth, besides me of course, who knows the locations of all the phrases of captain Flynn's last will and testament.
The $100,000 phrases, and here he is, sergeant Garner Ellerbee.
The man, the myth, the badge.
Sergeant master g.
, if I can call you that.
Okay, okay.
Sergeant Ellerbee, if you could please enlighten the folks as to your official presence here as the chief crypt keeper of the kgas groove yard of solid gold.
-Um, yeah, Larry, I've been assigned to verify the authenticity of your station's contest.
-Kind of like a price waterhouse thing, huh? Yo, garns, they can't see you nod on the radio.
-Right, right, of course.
The second part of my assignment, Larry is, is to supervise the treasure hunt and to make sure that all of the participants play fairly and squarely.
-Ah, no squares allowed.
Thank you, sergeant Garner Ellerbee.
-You gotta be kidding me.
This guy's gonna draw people to the beach like flies.
-So, keep your radios tuned to kgas 107.
As I start you off on a clue that will lead you to the location of the first phrase.
Now, remember, fortune hunters, you have to recite captain Flynn's complete last will and testament in order to capture the Booty.
-Better have Newmie start calling in the recurrents.
I'm gonna go have a little conversation with Mr.
Large.
Excuse me.
Good morning.
Lieutenant Mitch Buchannon.
La county lifeguards.
-Larry loomin' large, kgas 107.
It's a little something for you.
Wear it in good health.
What can I do for you, big guy? -Well, you can pack up and leave.
- A little lifeguard humor there.
- No, I'm dead serious.
We were never notified of your little publicity stunt here, and we are not prepared to handle hordes of treasure hunters.
-Sorry to hear you're out of the loop, Mitch, but those permits were signed, sealed and delivered weeks ago.
If you've got a problem, I suggest you talk to the owner.
-Is he here? -No, but she is.
-Hi, neighbor.
-Hi, stranger.
-You look great.
-Oh, thanks.
So, do you.
-So, you really are the new owner.
-Yeah, I made Jackie Quinn promise to keep it a secret.
-Well, congratulations.
-Thank you.
I've always dreamed about owning my own cafe.
So, when I heard that Jackie was moving back to Pittsburgh, I scraped together everything that I had and I made her an offer.
-Kaye, I think you've made a good investment.
Come on, the place is a potential goldmine.
-I hope so.
I just need to get the word out.
And I'll do that.
Would you like a mango-strawberry smoothie? - No, thanks.
I'm driving.
And now for the reading of the clue.
"I stared into the pale, pasty face of death and up to his verdent crown," ah Oh.
Oh.
Excuse me, all you laristas out there, but I just had a vision.
A vision of the angel of the sea.
So, let's see if we can get an interview! Yo, angel of the sea, would you like to go on the radio with Larry loomin large? I'm sorry, I'm working.
-And I've just died and gone to heaven.
Where did you find this guy? -Hmm, you never heard of kgas, the groove yard of solid gold? -The what? -It's a news station that Larry's starting up.
And we're doing this promotional tie in.
I provide the location for his broadcast, and he plugs Sandy kaye cafe six times an hour.
-Yes, you too can also be on "lifestyles of the rich and famous.
" With a treasure trove and excitement because you won the gold doubloon, courtesy of kgas 107.
-But he never told me anything about a treasure hunt.
I just hope it doesn't cause you any problems.
-Why? I mean, you know, an extra five or 10,000 people coming to the beach on a day when we're short handed.
Why should that cause me any problems? It's all right.
-Oh, look at that! Get down from there! What is up with these crazy lunatics? -They're chasing the American dream.
A chance to make a lot of money.
Isn't that what it's all about? I mean, what would you do if you won $100,000? -I don't know, I don't fantasize about money.
Anyway, we're lifeguards and I'm sure we're not eligible to win.
-Why not? I don't know where the clues are, do you? -No, and I don't care.
I just hope we get through this day without anyone getting seriously injured over all of this.
-You got it? -Yeah, be careful.
-Okay, got it.
-There we go.
'Kay, nice and easy.
Now make sure you're footed.
-This is crazy.
What are we doing up here? -Whatever you do, don't look down.
I found it! -What does it say? -"And neer the verdent crown, a witch's hat was worn.
" -That's it? That's the first clue? Now we just have to find the witch's hat.
-Nope, first, we have to cover this up before someone else finds it.
-Hang on to me.
Don't let go.
-Somebody help us! -Somebody help! Get help! Help us! Somebody help us! Help us, please! I've got you.
Are you okay? -No, hold on to me.
Don't let go.
What's going on? -Hit the lights.
Call it in for back up.
-207 requesting emergency back up.
Point dune cliffs.
-Help! -Look at that guy.
-Do you see how high up she is? -Somebody help! -Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
-Excuse me, sir, please.
Step back, sir, thank you.
-Oh, no problem.
Somebody! Help! -I've got you.
I've got you, honey, I've got you.
-Somebody, help! Help! Hang on to me! Don't let go! Help me! Hang on, I'm coming down! -Please hurry.
-Hurry! Oh, great.
-Hurry.
-All right, I got you.
Everything's going to be okay.
What's your name? -Thelma.
-All right, Thelma.
I'm gonna count to three and you're gonna go up.
One, two, three.
-Come on, honey, come on.
-Come on.
-Okay.
-You got it.
Thank you.
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
Way to go, dude! -Thank god you came here.
-Excuse me.
Excuse me.
-"And near the verdent crown, a witch's hat was worn.
" -Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
I'm so sorry.
-And some of the finest of beach front cuisine or simple spectacular scenery, lace up those roller-blades and skate on down to the Sandy kaye cafe, and while you're down here, be sure to say hello to your favorite spin master.
Yours truly, the one, the only, Larry loomin large of kgas 107, the groove yard of solid gold.
I understand why you're upset, but it's not entirely my fault.
Those girls shouldn't have been climbing that cliff.
They were cheaters, Mitch! They tried to spray paint over the clue.
Look, they've already been disqualified.
It won't happen again.
Everything is under control.
What do you want from me? -I want the location of every clue you planted out there.
-I'm afraid I can't do that, Mitch.
It would compromise the integrity of the contest.
-Speaking of integrity, why didn't you tell me anything about a treasure hunt when we signed our contract? -What are you complaining about? Look at all the business I brought you.
-That doesn't give you a right to endanger people's lives, Larry.
-Let's everybody calm down and take a deep breath.
There, that's better.
Look, I appreciate your concern, but understand, nobody's gonna get hurt, just rich.
- Say hello to these new vibrations make you wonder listen to my station all alone and I know you're waiting say hello to these new vibrations gimme gimme gimme now I'm getting this I don't care what it takes I'm getting rich gimme gimme gimme now I'm getting this I don't care what it takes I'm getting rich I'm coming for it you know that never think twice won't hold back smooth with my moves leave no tracks believe what you want you need more facts gimme gimme gimme now I'm getting this I don't care what it takes I'm getting rich gimme gimme gimme now I'm getting this I don't care what it takes I'm getting rich gimme gimme gimme now I'm getting this I don't care what it takes I'm getting rich gimme gimme gimme now -C.
J.
and I are gonna head back.
Where do you want us? Oops, sorry.
-No, it's okay.
I'm on hold.
-With who? -With city hall.
I'm checking to see if Larry's permits are in order.
Either we never got copies or Stephanie created a new filing system before she left.
Yeah, yeah, I'm still here.
No, you can't put me on hold.
I've been on hold for half an hour! I'm on hold.
-Attention all you scoundrels and scoundrelettes.
We reached the halfway point and still no winner yet.
What's wrong with you people? I've got a $100,000 doubloon that's just achin' to be taken.
Holy mother of pearls.
Oh, no.
She's leaving.
Angel of the sea, don't go.
I want you, I need you, I love you.
Hey, do you see any writing? -I can't tell.
This could be something.
Check it out.
-Come on, you guys, please.
Get away from the tower, there aren't any clues here.
Yeah, all right, sorry.
-Oh, what are you looking for? -Witch's hat.
-What? -It's the next phrase.
"And neer the verdent crown, a witch's hat was worn.
" That's what was painted on the rocks.
-We're supposed to be protecting these maniacs, not joining their ranks.
-I can't help it.
The lure of easy money has such a strong appeal.
-There's no such thing as easy money.
Are we having fun or what? Do I see a winner? No, just a fan asking for my autograph.
Who should I make it out to, sweetcakes? God, I love being on the radio.
-"And a witch's hat was worn.
" A witch's hat.
-Get down, get salty, get rich.
It's yours for the taking! From kgas 107.
Here, take my hand.
See it over there? -It's gotta be here somewhere.
-Could be down there.
-How about the rock? -All right, let's go take a look.
-Okay.
Look out! -Try to get up.
-Okay.
- Hold on, sweetie.
I got ya.
-Grab the rock! -I'm trying! -Hold on, baby.
-This is 207.
This is 295, we have a male and female victim stranded on the palasades Jenny, over.
-10-4, we're on our way.
-Wow.
-What's going on? What did they do? It's okay, I got you.
Take the can.
It's okay.
-Matt, are you okay? -Yeah! I'm fine.
Hey! The witch's hat.
Next time, don't go out on these rocks.
They're way too dangerous.
Yo, ho, ho, ahoy, maties.
No winner yet.
On second thought, everyone's a winner because you're listening to kgas 107, live from the Sandy kaye cafe, where you'll find a wide assortment of all your favorite dishes.
While you're at it, don't forget our classic request line at 1-800-collect.
Ask for me, Larry loomin' large, and tell me what turns you on.
-I'm talking location.
Where could it be? "The grim and ghostly place where the bones of cut throats lie.
" -I don't wanna talk about this stupid treasure hunt anymore.
Anyway, you're on duty.
You can't just go off on some wild goose chase.
-I know.
-Well, then stop thinking about it.
-I can't.
-Why? -I can't stop thinking about you and me on the deck of a house in Malibu, watching the sunset, and that $100,000 is gonna put us there.
-Well, I'd better get you back to headquarters before you get yourself in trouble.
-Wait, what about if we split the money 50/50? -Okay, we don't have to buy the house.
You could take your share and do whatever you want with it.
Think about it.
$50,000 in cash.
- They say the root of all - the evil lurks in moneys lies you know the angel of the sea has come to claim the prize all I want is everything chasing treasure and a dream should I walk away or be getting paid all I want is everything easy money so it seems could I walk away from the games they play I join the ranks but undercover we could find the clues we'd have it all to win then bathe ourselves in gold doubloons all I want is everything chasing treasure and a dream should I walk away or be getting paid all I want is everything easy money so it seems could I walk away from the games they play I want it all I want it all I want it all I want it all All I want is everything chasing treasure and a dream should I walk away or be getting paid all I want is everything easy money so it seems could I walk away -What do you say? -You know those caves up at Leo creilo? They can be pretty spooky.
-If this isn't a grim and ghostly place, I don't know what is.
We're one phrase away from having the whole last will and testament.
One phrase away from getting $100,000.
-One phrase away from being fired if Mitch finds out.
-Come on.
-Wait.
-What? -I thought I heard something.
-Oh, sorry about that.
-What are you doing here? -I win money.
"My final resting place.
God save my soul.
" I am out of here.
-Guess again.
Nobody's going anywhere.
-Hey, Mitch.
-Hey.
Looks like things have finally calmed down.
-The calm before the storm.
Larry is back on the air.
-I thought kaye pulled the plug on him.
-She did, but he set up shop on the pier.
Not to worry, I've already re-deployed my people.
They've got the area covered.
But there is no one up at Leo creilo, and that's where the last clue is.
-Let's go.
-Let's go.
-I'm very depressed.
-This isn't depressing.
It's humiliating.
How could I let you talk me into this? -Okay, it's my fault.
None of this would have happened if I wasn't such a money grubber.
You feel better now? -No! -Well, we can't just sit here.
Come on.
Push up.
-I'm trying.
-Well, not hard enough.
-Whose truck? -Matt and C.
J.
's.
-So, why didn't they call for back up? -Bet they were busy.
-We are saved! -Hey, Mitch.
-Hey, Mitch.
-What happened here? -I'm not sure I wanna know.
Officially, I could suspend both of you without pay for dereliction of duty.
-I know, we deserve it.
-However, unofficially, I would love not having to explain to the boss how two of my most reliable lifeguards lost their marbles.
The truth is, with Stephanie off sailing half away around the world, I can't afford to lose anybody.
There's plenty of work to be done around here.
Like washing and waxing the trucks.
Scour the showers with a fine tooth comb.
Paint the towers.
Let's see what else I can figure out here! -I'd rather be suspended.
-Well, listen, we're out of here.
-What's his story? -His name's basil frankencoast.
-Basil frankencoast.
-Basil frankencoast.
Claims he was the first one to put all the clues together.
I'm taking them to the pier, so he can claim his gold doubloon.
-We must hurry.
-I'll see you back at headquarters.
-Okay.
Get in the truck! In the truck! -Greetings all you plunder seekers out there.
This is Larry loomin' large.
Still going strong from my brand new perch high above the crashing surf.
Still waiting for that lucky winner.
Where are ya? What are you wearing? Come on down! -I see them! Go over there.
-It's the cops! Let's go! -They're getting away.
-All right.
Hold it right there.
-Yes! Yes! I win money, I win lots of money.
This is the last call, fortunatos.
If somebody doesn't get up here in the next five minutes, I'm gonna keep the doubloon for myself.
That'll cue to the station manager not to give me a raise.
-I have clues.
-I think we have a winner here at kgas 107! Right here, right now! What is your name, sir? -Basil frankencoast.
-Mitch, you got a bunch of faxes from city hall.
-Better late than never.
These gotta be the permits.
Thanks, Julie.
-Can I see those? -Yeah.
-Thanks.
Okay, basil, shoot.
Give us the last will and testament of that infamous privateer, captain Flynn, and kgas 107 will present you with this gold doubloon valued at $100,000.
"I stared into the pale and pasty face of death.
And then--" -I've had enough of kgas to last a lifetime.
-Hold on a second.
These permits were signed by a city employee named basil frankencoast.
-Basil frankencoast, isn't he the guy who just won the contest? -Well, how many basil frankencoasts can there be? Garner, they rigged the contest so basil would win.
He works for the city.
It's an inside job.
- Roger that.
-"Then, I hid in a grim and ghostly place "where the bones of cut throats lie.
My final resting place.
God save my soul.
" -That's it, you've won! Congratulations! -Mr.
Loom, I thank you very much.
-Basil frankencoast, we present you this gold pirate doubloon, appraised at $100,000.
-Oh, to you I thank very much.
-What's your favorite radio station? -Kgas 107! - Not so fast! - You bet it is! -You're under arrest, both of you.
-On what charges? -How about false advertising, attempted fraud, bribing a public official? Take your pick, pal.
-You can't arrest me.
I'm on the radio.
-No! -He's going to drown trying to save the doubloon.
-Oh, great.
-You must save him.
-It's been a terrific day.
You're washing trucks.
-Angel of the sea.
I can't believe I'm in your arms.
Together at last.
-So, you're telling me that the contest was rigged.
That this whole thing was a fix? -That's right.
-Larry loomin' large never intended to pay out $100,000.
-It was a promotional scam for kgas.
Larry paid off "bay-sil.
" -Basil.
-Basil with a $500 bribe.
-Oh, okay, so Larry and basil were in on this together.
-Basil knew the phrases the whole time.
He just showed up at the clue sights to make it look like he was a contestant.
-Then, why would he use his real name if he's the one who signed the permits? -Because he had to show me valid ID to claim the doubloon.
-And they probably thought that no one would ever check the permits.
-Big mistake.
-Okay, I think I got this straight.
But Garner, who were the two guys that you arrested on the pier? -You mean the guys who tied us up at the cave? -Yeah, I mean, how do they tie into this? -Well, they're janitors down at city hall or at least they used to be.
And then they found out that "bay-sil"-- basil.
-Basil was in cahoots with Larry, and thought they'd get in on the action.
-So, now they're all behind bars.
-Except Larry loomin' large.
-What, he got away? -His father bailed him out.
Seems it was daddy's doubloon.
Larry borrowed it without telling him.
Loomin' large.