Black-ish (2014) s02e09 Episode Script
Man at Work
You know the best part about growing up with nothing Nothing! But you know what made it bearable Knowing that you were surrounded by a whole lot of other people who cared about you, who had just as much.
Which was nothing.
But it wasn't just a Compton thing, whether it'd be the favelas of Rio, the projects of the Bronx, the slums of Mumbai, or the farms and the factories of the Heartland.
Struggle is everywhere.
And it always brings people together into a community that looks out for each other.
But if you bust your hump And get lucky enough to make it out, the number-one rule is never forget where you came from And never ever forget the people who helped you rise.
That's why so many successful people Roll with the same crew they came up with.
those were the people who always looked out for you Always had your back, and you were always gonna have theirs.
What you got? That's what I'm talkin' about.
For me, that was my boy Sha.
when the lights were turned off and things looked bad Sha was always there for me.
Come here, little man.
But since then, I've had a pretty good run Sweet job, plush house, decent kids.
You could say I made it.
And like all those other people who made it I make sure to always look out for my crew.
maybe a few days longer than my wife would like.
Is he ever gonna leave? Shh! That's not a squirrel, girl.
He's been sleeping in my gaming spot, destroying my butt groove.
Dad, it's been almost two weeks now.
Okay, guys, Sha is an artist.
He doesn't understand time.
Well, can he at least understand a regular shower? Or take a baby wipe to any three of his five areas? His choice.
Oh, that Fluffy couch really swallows you up.
It's like sleeping on precious.
Thanks, big Dre.
Anytime, brother.
Anytime.
Hey, mi casa es "Sha" casa.
Okay, you speaking French, man.
It's cool.
All right, got to drain.
Oh, okay, cool.
You know where it is.
Oh, that's "Got to drain" says it all.
"Sha casa"? Really, Dre? Come on, Bow.
Sha's only here for the art show.
Yeah, I believed that the first time I heard it.
And he's constantly taking advantage of your generosity, Dre.
No way.
It is an honor to support Sha, because when we were kids, he fed me, protected me, even took a bullet for me.
- Uh.
Really? - Okay, it was a BB, but he had to get a tetanus shot, and those hurt.
So he got a tetanus shot for you.
- In the butt, Bow.
- That's where you get The point is, you're supposed to take care of your own, especially when you make it.
Stop being stingy, Bow.
Okay, team, listen up.
Have I got a surprise for you.
My brother from another, Philip Lido, will be arriving here any minute.
Look at me Tingles! Philip is my boy.
First thing out of college, we started this company with nothing but $5 million in seed capital from our fathers.
That's it Bootstraps.
Wow, inspiring, this guy.
Uh, boss, are you blessing us today by rocking skinny jeans? Yeah, well, the, uh - Oh, no.
- Damn.
The gal at Abercrombie said that these would make my dangle pop.
Whoo, mission accomplished, sir.
You are the, uh, king of pop.
- You're way too close.
- Yes, I am.
- In fact, don't even look at it.
What's wrong with you? - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
So, I assume all these people are here to help peel you out of those ridiculous Bieber pants.
Daphne, why aren't you in France and, uh where is Philip? Uh, at least 150 feet away from me at all times according to our divorce papers.
- Divorce? - Caught the bastard cheating.
I got it on camera.
Got lots of coverage angles and masters.
Thinking about submitting it to Sundance under the title "White Thighs.
" Mm, I'd see that.
So, I guess, hi, everyone.
Don't worry.
Just because in the divorce I got the company Oh, hey, got the company? What is happening? Well, I-it doesn't mean I'm here to shake things up or anything.
I'm just here to make sure my nest egg is okay.
Wait a minute.
Now, why is it that the only woman and only two brothers are in the back? What is this? A greyhound in the '50s? Hey, y'all, come on.
Scooch up.
You heard what the lady said.
Uh, make a way, people.
- Make a way.
- Have your rosa parks moment.
Andre Johnson, SVP urban division.
- How you doing? - Backup black guy.
Lucy.
I'm a woman, so Philip, it's Leslie.
Call me.
My world is crumbling.
You sleep 18 hours a day? Baseline.
Two words Undiagnosed narcolepsy.
I can do it in one word loser.
Sleep is my prime visualization time.
So you have to sleep for your job? I want to be a starving artist.
Um, what's happening in my Vitamix? Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, I make my own soap out of canola oil, cinnamon, and drano.
- Wha - Hey, what's going on? He's making his own soap now, Dre.
We are this close to "Fight Club.
" He's not a terrorist Bow, he's an artist.
He's a bum, Dre.
Yeah, he is.
I know.
My parents were hippies.
I was raised just above the bum line.
Then how can you be against helping people? - We were all about helping people.
- Mm.
Mm.
On the commune, everybody had to weave the hammocks.
On the kibbutz, everybody picked figs.
And in the cult, everybody slept with king daddy Reginald.
- What? - Well, not me, no.
I aged out.
Yeah.
And we left right before the ATF raid.
- But that's not my point.
- Mm-hmm.
My point is everybody has to pitch in or you're out.
One day, Sha is gonna pay it forward.
And that, little Dre, is how you make a shoestring belt.
Cool.
Shoestring belt genius! Those are the things that I can't teach him.
Dre.
- Hmm? - Our ship has come in and it's name is S.
S.
Daphne.
A ship that finally works out for us.
- So I hear she been living in France.
- Mm-hmm.
So you know what that means.
I don't, and I have a feeling you don't, either.
- Two-day work weeks.
- Yep, I knew it.
Look, with all this free time, I'm thinking that we can build a go-kart track right in front of your office.
- I - bank the curves for high-speed turns, 'cause tipping ain't no joke Number-two cause of fun-park decapitation.
- Excuse me, Dre? - Oh, hey.
Uh, can I talk to you alone for a minute? Sure, Daphne.
Charlie? Meetings that last a minute? My days are really gonna open up.
Uh, merci.
Uh, oui, oui, bon - So, Dre, I'm thinking about shaking things up.
- Uh-huh.
I I knew it.
You said you weren't gonna shake things up, but I had a feeling that you were gonna shake things up! So let's shake it up.
I'm thinking about firing Charlie.
Firing Charlie? Why? Black go-karting Whoa! Bank the curves! Whoop.
So, Daphne wanted Charlie gone.
But maybe I could save him.
Or not.
Oh, Dre, not cool, bro.
You don't see dudes flicking off Darth Vader's CPAP.
That'd get your ass force-choked.
Charlie, you're gonna have to stop all this.
This is your job.
Sleep apnea don't play.
My doctor said I die a little every time I go to sleep.
Look, new boss is looking to shake things up.
You feeling me? Oh.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
- All right.
- I'm getting a promotion.
God is good, Dre.
No, Charlie.
I mean, you've got to step your game up.
You mean my break room "Monopoly" game or my after-hours "Jenga"? Your job game, Charlie.
Daphne is looking to She's worried about fun-park decapitations, as well? Smart girl.
Firing your ass, Charlie! Oh, wow.
Huh.
Thanks.
Uh, now, if you'll excuse me, my esteemed colleague, I'm going to circle the wagons and prepare for tomorrow's important advertising presentation.
- Mm-hmm.
- Marketing, quotas, finance.
Perfect.
Lock that in, all right? - Step it up.
- Yes, sir.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, Stevens.
Stevens, look.
We should talk about this P.
E.
T.
A.
campaign, because - Two days - Still haven't heard from Philip.
I think that bitch may have killed my soul mate.
You know, Dre, you think I can hold a little something, man? I got to get a new canvas, you know? Yeah, for sure.
Hold on.
Let me see what I got.
Yeah, a little.
Just a canvas? I got that.
Take that one.
You'll get it right back.
Hey, don't even worry about it, man.
Get that back to me whenever.
- Dre, you realize what's happening, right? - What? Dre, he's using you as a personal ATM for "a canvas" weed.
Wrong.
He grows his own.
But he can't grow his own art supply, so I'm just helping a brother out.
I'm all for supporting a dreamer.
I am.
I mean, I donated to Joe Lieberman.
But at a certain point, Dre, you have to think "what if Sha's dreams never come true?" What, are you just gonna keep helping him until he's a 50-year-old starving artist with no life skills? I just said he can grow weed! - Dre oh, my.
What is that? - Ow! - Oh, my God.
- Thanks a lot, Mom.
I was just visualizing moving to New York and dancing in a LeBron James hip hopera.
Hope you visualized food stamps.
Damn it.
Charlie, what the hell are you wearing? - What are you doing? - Oh, stepping my game up, thanks to you.
A-a-a sharkskin suit, chinchilla coat, alligator shoes.
A-and feel the lining real baby seal.
And you can still see the nicks from the clubbing.
Oh, no.
This is not what I meant, Charlie.
The pitch is for P.
E.
T.
A People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Ohhh.
I thought you was talking about pita the flatbread.
What? Why would we pull clips from a movie about a dolphin murder cove for a flatbread presentation?! And why would I order this hummus platter? Now now look.
Everybody, just relax.
Seems like I made a perfectly understandable homonym error.
- Mm-hmm.
- Now excuse me while I go handle something unrelated in my office.
Excuse me, your highnesstry.
Let me guess Pita/P.
E.
T.
A.
Confusion? In all fairness, maybe the animal people should pronounce it "pet-ah.
" Your boy Charlie's got to go.
Please, just give me a week to prove Charlie's worth.
You've got a French week.
That's two days.
Seriously, Jack, enough with the hip hopera starving-artist thing.
You smell worse than usual and mostly in areas three and five.
A-and what are you doing? Capturing art.
I'm just getting a tangle out.
Sure, but mess with the speed a little bit, add a little unexpected audio boom! I call it "A Beautiful Train Wreck.
" It already has 100 likes.
Refresh 300 likes! Refresh again 500 likes.
Do you see where I'm going with this? All right.
Got to drain.
Huh.
- Dre.
- Hmm? I don't mean to concern you, but I found this under Jack's bed, and I also saw Junior checking freight train schedules.
Now, I would really like to chalk these things up to just, you know, kids being kids, but I think it has something to do with the hobo living on our couch.
Bow, I don't know what to do about Charlie.
And we're talking about your thing.
Look, Daphne wants to fire him, and I can't let that happen.
Look, Dre.
I love Charlie, too.
But, I mean, I-is he any good at his job? All we got to do is plant some cocaine - in her desk.
- Charlie.
Two-piece cat, hush puppies with fries, and potato salad! Get that money, girl.
I'm pregnant and I hate you! I see you representin'.
Holding it di-down over there.
Okay.
- Not enough information.
- Ah.
My French week was up, but I had to make one last push to save Charlie.
Hold on.
This is Mr.
Watley over at the solar energy account.
Okay.
Yo, Allen, what's crackin'? No, I have not done the work you've been waiting on.
But how you been sleeping, man? Have you been using that nitrous in your CPAP? - Charlie.
- I'm telling you Your dream game will be jacked.
Lucid nightmares.
Definitely worth the blood in your mask.
- Yeah, you want blood in your mask.
- Hey.
- That means it work.
- Dre? Oh, okay.
Yeah, if there ain't no blood in it, I g I have to return it.
You got the receipt, right? Giving narcotics advice to a client? - Well - Yes, c'est fini.
I'm gonna need you to fire him by tomorrow.
W-what? Me fire him? Well, I certainly can't do it.
He's black.
Think, Dre.
Charlie is my friend, and this is your thing.
I won't do it.
All right, well, how about this? - Mm-hmm? - Either you fire him or I fire you both.
Uh, what? I'm black, too.
Yeah, but if I fire both of you, it shows that I'm the type of black person who isn't afraid to fire black people.
New place, trying to make friends That could really be good for me.
Yeah, I like that.
Make a name for myself.
Come back to me.
Philip.
Where are you? I'm in big trouble.
Philip! Dre, what do you mean you don't know what to do? You got to fire Charlie Two to the back of the head! It's not your fight, Dre.
Just boom, boom.
But it is.
It's about community, Bow.
Okay, okay, baby.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Listen, no matter what I say, I need to know that I admire how loyal you are to your crew.
It's a sign of your great big heart.
But you have a family, Dre.
We're the crew you need to be looking out for.
I know.
You're right.
It's okay.
Yo, Dre! Oh, my God.
Now you're in our bedroom.
- He's in our bedroom.
- Whoa, o-okay.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Guess who just got tapped by the Art Curator of Moca.
Who? - Bow.
- What? - Look at this.
- No way.
- Remember that canvas you spotted me for? - Yeah.
Well, after I bought it, I had this ultra cray dream about Bruno Mars on Mars eating a Mars bar.
- What? - I blasted out a piece for this underground gallery, got signed to a six-month Moca run.
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, okay.
Sha-shank redemption! Oh, yes! Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Okay, hey.
Hey, let her go.
That's for you Moca.
- I owe it all to you, man.
- What? Where everyone else saw just a guy sleeping all day and eating sugar smacks with his hands and making mildly explosive soaps, - wearing dirty clothes.
- Hold on.
No, no, no, no.
L-let's take it back to the soap.
You didn't see any of that.
Instead, you saw a man at work.
Huh.
What's that? Your lunch order? No, it's the book on Charlie telphy, 'cause where others see a fool on a scooter and urinating way too close and pulling a gat out on your boss and having an in-office fish fry, I see a man at work.
Have you been sucking on that fool's CPAP? Look at this.
Look at the numbers, hmm? Highest account retention in the company.
Calls clients at 3:00 A.
M.
Yes, it's because he's sleeping here, but the dude is rainmaking 24/7.
So, if you want your first move here to be getting rid of our best, go ahead.
But it's not gonna be on me.
Why would I fire Charlie? Now, he's a hardworking brother Highest damn account retention in the company.
Look, have you seen this? - Just look at his record, huh? - Yeah, I - Look at that.
- Mm-hmm.
Numbers don't lie, Dre.
You can get the hell out of here.
Why is skid row in my house?! We're off the hamster wheel, man.
No! Sha got to you, too? What's the point of playing society's game when it's clear you can hit it big by sleeping all day? There's so much jelly on your neck.
- Thank you.
- Oh Zoey, are you tan, or are you dirty? Mark Zuckerberg never changes his hoodie.
- Billionaire tech artist.
- Oh, my God.
I'd show the beautiful art of my dance, but standing is for sheep.
Is it now? You stink.
And you know what else? None of you are talented enough to be starving artists! None of you, okay?! And I'm your mother.
I'm your biggest fan.
And do you know how this is gonna play out for you? You're gonna fall behind at school.
You're gonna get stupid.
You're gonna get skin infections because you don't shower.
And then, when you turn 18 and your dad and I kick you out, you're just gonna roam the streets.
And you're gonna do really bad things for small amounts of money and chicken nuggets.
And then you're gonna die in the gutter.
And people are just gonna step over your little lifeless body on their way to Pinkberry.
Does that sound good? Huh? Sound good to you? You like the way that sounds? I think I'll go do some algebra.
Yeah.
I'm gonna I'm gonna hit the shower.
- Go hit the shower.
- Me first.
- My areas are disgusting.
- Me first.
Yeah.
And? I was last to the party.
I'm gonna give this one one more day.
Wha Give me the carton, little girl.
- I'll kill it for the family.
- No, no.
No, no.
I would describe him as a handsome Caucasian, very rich, uh, with incredibly soft skin One could say supple.
Oh, hey, they found Philip's gold Bulova on his houseboat.
- Mm-hmm? - I'm having them dredge the marina.
Daphne is not getting away with this.
Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop, all right? Your main man has saved your job.
Oh, thanks, but I got a new job.
What? Well, once you told me that I might be in trouble had me realize that I'm really not valued here.
- No - Have you seen my numbers? Yeah.
Highest account retention in the [Bleep.]
company.
I do my work.
Wow, so then you're leaving? I mean, you know, yeah.
Less work, more pay, and a bocce court.
Finally get to unleash my inner elderly-Italian gentleman-of-leisure.
Man.
Congrats, Charlie.
Anyway Thanks for everything, big D.
You always had my back, and I won't forget you.
And if you ever need a place to land, you hit me up.
'Cause we watch out for our own, right? Damn right.
That's what we do.
Yeah.
Smile, man.
I'm gonna check on you from time to time.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, and, uh If you need 30 pounds of unrefrigerated lamb, check the copy room.
- You know what I'm talking about? - Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about, man.
All right.
Peace.
How could you do this to me, Philip? Oh, I hate you.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
I love you.
I love you so much.
I didn't mean that.
Poor a little out for our homey? Hey, guys, I just Aah! Charlie would've loved that.
Yeah.
Damn you, Daphne.
Which was nothing.
But it wasn't just a Compton thing, whether it'd be the favelas of Rio, the projects of the Bronx, the slums of Mumbai, or the farms and the factories of the Heartland.
Struggle is everywhere.
And it always brings people together into a community that looks out for each other.
But if you bust your hump And get lucky enough to make it out, the number-one rule is never forget where you came from And never ever forget the people who helped you rise.
That's why so many successful people Roll with the same crew they came up with.
those were the people who always looked out for you Always had your back, and you were always gonna have theirs.
What you got? That's what I'm talkin' about.
For me, that was my boy Sha.
when the lights were turned off and things looked bad Sha was always there for me.
Come here, little man.
But since then, I've had a pretty good run Sweet job, plush house, decent kids.
You could say I made it.
And like all those other people who made it I make sure to always look out for my crew.
maybe a few days longer than my wife would like.
Is he ever gonna leave? Shh! That's not a squirrel, girl.
He's been sleeping in my gaming spot, destroying my butt groove.
Dad, it's been almost two weeks now.
Okay, guys, Sha is an artist.
He doesn't understand time.
Well, can he at least understand a regular shower? Or take a baby wipe to any three of his five areas? His choice.
Oh, that Fluffy couch really swallows you up.
It's like sleeping on precious.
Thanks, big Dre.
Anytime, brother.
Anytime.
Hey, mi casa es "Sha" casa.
Okay, you speaking French, man.
It's cool.
All right, got to drain.
Oh, okay, cool.
You know where it is.
Oh, that's "Got to drain" says it all.
"Sha casa"? Really, Dre? Come on, Bow.
Sha's only here for the art show.
Yeah, I believed that the first time I heard it.
And he's constantly taking advantage of your generosity, Dre.
No way.
It is an honor to support Sha, because when we were kids, he fed me, protected me, even took a bullet for me.
- Uh.
Really? - Okay, it was a BB, but he had to get a tetanus shot, and those hurt.
So he got a tetanus shot for you.
- In the butt, Bow.
- That's where you get The point is, you're supposed to take care of your own, especially when you make it.
Stop being stingy, Bow.
Okay, team, listen up.
Have I got a surprise for you.
My brother from another, Philip Lido, will be arriving here any minute.
Look at me Tingles! Philip is my boy.
First thing out of college, we started this company with nothing but $5 million in seed capital from our fathers.
That's it Bootstraps.
Wow, inspiring, this guy.
Uh, boss, are you blessing us today by rocking skinny jeans? Yeah, well, the, uh - Oh, no.
- Damn.
The gal at Abercrombie said that these would make my dangle pop.
Whoo, mission accomplished, sir.
You are the, uh, king of pop.
- You're way too close.
- Yes, I am.
- In fact, don't even look at it.
What's wrong with you? - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
So, I assume all these people are here to help peel you out of those ridiculous Bieber pants.
Daphne, why aren't you in France and, uh where is Philip? Uh, at least 150 feet away from me at all times according to our divorce papers.
- Divorce? - Caught the bastard cheating.
I got it on camera.
Got lots of coverage angles and masters.
Thinking about submitting it to Sundance under the title "White Thighs.
" Mm, I'd see that.
So, I guess, hi, everyone.
Don't worry.
Just because in the divorce I got the company Oh, hey, got the company? What is happening? Well, I-it doesn't mean I'm here to shake things up or anything.
I'm just here to make sure my nest egg is okay.
Wait a minute.
Now, why is it that the only woman and only two brothers are in the back? What is this? A greyhound in the '50s? Hey, y'all, come on.
Scooch up.
You heard what the lady said.
Uh, make a way, people.
- Make a way.
- Have your rosa parks moment.
Andre Johnson, SVP urban division.
- How you doing? - Backup black guy.
Lucy.
I'm a woman, so Philip, it's Leslie.
Call me.
My world is crumbling.
You sleep 18 hours a day? Baseline.
Two words Undiagnosed narcolepsy.
I can do it in one word loser.
Sleep is my prime visualization time.
So you have to sleep for your job? I want to be a starving artist.
Um, what's happening in my Vitamix? Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, I make my own soap out of canola oil, cinnamon, and drano.
- Wha - Hey, what's going on? He's making his own soap now, Dre.
We are this close to "Fight Club.
" He's not a terrorist Bow, he's an artist.
He's a bum, Dre.
Yeah, he is.
I know.
My parents were hippies.
I was raised just above the bum line.
Then how can you be against helping people? - We were all about helping people.
- Mm.
Mm.
On the commune, everybody had to weave the hammocks.
On the kibbutz, everybody picked figs.
And in the cult, everybody slept with king daddy Reginald.
- What? - Well, not me, no.
I aged out.
Yeah.
And we left right before the ATF raid.
- But that's not my point.
- Mm-hmm.
My point is everybody has to pitch in or you're out.
One day, Sha is gonna pay it forward.
And that, little Dre, is how you make a shoestring belt.
Cool.
Shoestring belt genius! Those are the things that I can't teach him.
Dre.
- Hmm? - Our ship has come in and it's name is S.
S.
Daphne.
A ship that finally works out for us.
- So I hear she been living in France.
- Mm-hmm.
So you know what that means.
I don't, and I have a feeling you don't, either.
- Two-day work weeks.
- Yep, I knew it.
Look, with all this free time, I'm thinking that we can build a go-kart track right in front of your office.
- I - bank the curves for high-speed turns, 'cause tipping ain't no joke Number-two cause of fun-park decapitation.
- Excuse me, Dre? - Oh, hey.
Uh, can I talk to you alone for a minute? Sure, Daphne.
Charlie? Meetings that last a minute? My days are really gonna open up.
Uh, merci.
Uh, oui, oui, bon - So, Dre, I'm thinking about shaking things up.
- Uh-huh.
I I knew it.
You said you weren't gonna shake things up, but I had a feeling that you were gonna shake things up! So let's shake it up.
I'm thinking about firing Charlie.
Firing Charlie? Why? Black go-karting Whoa! Bank the curves! Whoop.
So, Daphne wanted Charlie gone.
But maybe I could save him.
Or not.
Oh, Dre, not cool, bro.
You don't see dudes flicking off Darth Vader's CPAP.
That'd get your ass force-choked.
Charlie, you're gonna have to stop all this.
This is your job.
Sleep apnea don't play.
My doctor said I die a little every time I go to sleep.
Look, new boss is looking to shake things up.
You feeling me? Oh.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
- All right.
- I'm getting a promotion.
God is good, Dre.
No, Charlie.
I mean, you've got to step your game up.
You mean my break room "Monopoly" game or my after-hours "Jenga"? Your job game, Charlie.
Daphne is looking to She's worried about fun-park decapitations, as well? Smart girl.
Firing your ass, Charlie! Oh, wow.
Huh.
Thanks.
Uh, now, if you'll excuse me, my esteemed colleague, I'm going to circle the wagons and prepare for tomorrow's important advertising presentation.
- Mm-hmm.
- Marketing, quotas, finance.
Perfect.
Lock that in, all right? - Step it up.
- Yes, sir.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, Stevens.
Stevens, look.
We should talk about this P.
E.
T.
A.
campaign, because - Two days - Still haven't heard from Philip.
I think that bitch may have killed my soul mate.
You know, Dre, you think I can hold a little something, man? I got to get a new canvas, you know? Yeah, for sure.
Hold on.
Let me see what I got.
Yeah, a little.
Just a canvas? I got that.
Take that one.
You'll get it right back.
Hey, don't even worry about it, man.
Get that back to me whenever.
- Dre, you realize what's happening, right? - What? Dre, he's using you as a personal ATM for "a canvas" weed.
Wrong.
He grows his own.
But he can't grow his own art supply, so I'm just helping a brother out.
I'm all for supporting a dreamer.
I am.
I mean, I donated to Joe Lieberman.
But at a certain point, Dre, you have to think "what if Sha's dreams never come true?" What, are you just gonna keep helping him until he's a 50-year-old starving artist with no life skills? I just said he can grow weed! - Dre oh, my.
What is that? - Ow! - Oh, my God.
- Thanks a lot, Mom.
I was just visualizing moving to New York and dancing in a LeBron James hip hopera.
Hope you visualized food stamps.
Damn it.
Charlie, what the hell are you wearing? - What are you doing? - Oh, stepping my game up, thanks to you.
A-a-a sharkskin suit, chinchilla coat, alligator shoes.
A-and feel the lining real baby seal.
And you can still see the nicks from the clubbing.
Oh, no.
This is not what I meant, Charlie.
The pitch is for P.
E.
T.
A People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Ohhh.
I thought you was talking about pita the flatbread.
What? Why would we pull clips from a movie about a dolphin murder cove for a flatbread presentation?! And why would I order this hummus platter? Now now look.
Everybody, just relax.
Seems like I made a perfectly understandable homonym error.
- Mm-hmm.
- Now excuse me while I go handle something unrelated in my office.
Excuse me, your highnesstry.
Let me guess Pita/P.
E.
T.
A.
Confusion? In all fairness, maybe the animal people should pronounce it "pet-ah.
" Your boy Charlie's got to go.
Please, just give me a week to prove Charlie's worth.
You've got a French week.
That's two days.
Seriously, Jack, enough with the hip hopera starving-artist thing.
You smell worse than usual and mostly in areas three and five.
A-and what are you doing? Capturing art.
I'm just getting a tangle out.
Sure, but mess with the speed a little bit, add a little unexpected audio boom! I call it "A Beautiful Train Wreck.
" It already has 100 likes.
Refresh 300 likes! Refresh again 500 likes.
Do you see where I'm going with this? All right.
Got to drain.
Huh.
- Dre.
- Hmm? I don't mean to concern you, but I found this under Jack's bed, and I also saw Junior checking freight train schedules.
Now, I would really like to chalk these things up to just, you know, kids being kids, but I think it has something to do with the hobo living on our couch.
Bow, I don't know what to do about Charlie.
And we're talking about your thing.
Look, Daphne wants to fire him, and I can't let that happen.
Look, Dre.
I love Charlie, too.
But, I mean, I-is he any good at his job? All we got to do is plant some cocaine - in her desk.
- Charlie.
Two-piece cat, hush puppies with fries, and potato salad! Get that money, girl.
I'm pregnant and I hate you! I see you representin'.
Holding it di-down over there.
Okay.
- Not enough information.
- Ah.
My French week was up, but I had to make one last push to save Charlie.
Hold on.
This is Mr.
Watley over at the solar energy account.
Okay.
Yo, Allen, what's crackin'? No, I have not done the work you've been waiting on.
But how you been sleeping, man? Have you been using that nitrous in your CPAP? - Charlie.
- I'm telling you Your dream game will be jacked.
Lucid nightmares.
Definitely worth the blood in your mask.
- Yeah, you want blood in your mask.
- Hey.
- That means it work.
- Dre? Oh, okay.
Yeah, if there ain't no blood in it, I g I have to return it.
You got the receipt, right? Giving narcotics advice to a client? - Well - Yes, c'est fini.
I'm gonna need you to fire him by tomorrow.
W-what? Me fire him? Well, I certainly can't do it.
He's black.
Think, Dre.
Charlie is my friend, and this is your thing.
I won't do it.
All right, well, how about this? - Mm-hmm? - Either you fire him or I fire you both.
Uh, what? I'm black, too.
Yeah, but if I fire both of you, it shows that I'm the type of black person who isn't afraid to fire black people.
New place, trying to make friends That could really be good for me.
Yeah, I like that.
Make a name for myself.
Come back to me.
Philip.
Where are you? I'm in big trouble.
Philip! Dre, what do you mean you don't know what to do? You got to fire Charlie Two to the back of the head! It's not your fight, Dre.
Just boom, boom.
But it is.
It's about community, Bow.
Okay, okay, baby.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Listen, no matter what I say, I need to know that I admire how loyal you are to your crew.
It's a sign of your great big heart.
But you have a family, Dre.
We're the crew you need to be looking out for.
I know.
You're right.
It's okay.
Yo, Dre! Oh, my God.
Now you're in our bedroom.
- He's in our bedroom.
- Whoa, o-okay.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Guess who just got tapped by the Art Curator of Moca.
Who? - Bow.
- What? - Look at this.
- No way.
- Remember that canvas you spotted me for? - Yeah.
Well, after I bought it, I had this ultra cray dream about Bruno Mars on Mars eating a Mars bar.
- What? - I blasted out a piece for this underground gallery, got signed to a six-month Moca run.
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, okay.
Sha-shank redemption! Oh, yes! Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Okay, hey.
Hey, let her go.
That's for you Moca.
- I owe it all to you, man.
- What? Where everyone else saw just a guy sleeping all day and eating sugar smacks with his hands and making mildly explosive soaps, - wearing dirty clothes.
- Hold on.
No, no, no, no.
L-let's take it back to the soap.
You didn't see any of that.
Instead, you saw a man at work.
Huh.
What's that? Your lunch order? No, it's the book on Charlie telphy, 'cause where others see a fool on a scooter and urinating way too close and pulling a gat out on your boss and having an in-office fish fry, I see a man at work.
Have you been sucking on that fool's CPAP? Look at this.
Look at the numbers, hmm? Highest account retention in the company.
Calls clients at 3:00 A.
M.
Yes, it's because he's sleeping here, but the dude is rainmaking 24/7.
So, if you want your first move here to be getting rid of our best, go ahead.
But it's not gonna be on me.
Why would I fire Charlie? Now, he's a hardworking brother Highest damn account retention in the company.
Look, have you seen this? - Just look at his record, huh? - Yeah, I - Look at that.
- Mm-hmm.
Numbers don't lie, Dre.
You can get the hell out of here.
Why is skid row in my house?! We're off the hamster wheel, man.
No! Sha got to you, too? What's the point of playing society's game when it's clear you can hit it big by sleeping all day? There's so much jelly on your neck.
- Thank you.
- Oh Zoey, are you tan, or are you dirty? Mark Zuckerberg never changes his hoodie.
- Billionaire tech artist.
- Oh, my God.
I'd show the beautiful art of my dance, but standing is for sheep.
Is it now? You stink.
And you know what else? None of you are talented enough to be starving artists! None of you, okay?! And I'm your mother.
I'm your biggest fan.
And do you know how this is gonna play out for you? You're gonna fall behind at school.
You're gonna get stupid.
You're gonna get skin infections because you don't shower.
And then, when you turn 18 and your dad and I kick you out, you're just gonna roam the streets.
And you're gonna do really bad things for small amounts of money and chicken nuggets.
And then you're gonna die in the gutter.
And people are just gonna step over your little lifeless body on their way to Pinkberry.
Does that sound good? Huh? Sound good to you? You like the way that sounds? I think I'll go do some algebra.
Yeah.
I'm gonna I'm gonna hit the shower.
- Go hit the shower.
- Me first.
- My areas are disgusting.
- Me first.
Yeah.
And? I was last to the party.
I'm gonna give this one one more day.
Wha Give me the carton, little girl.
- I'll kill it for the family.
- No, no.
No, no.
I would describe him as a handsome Caucasian, very rich, uh, with incredibly soft skin One could say supple.
Oh, hey, they found Philip's gold Bulova on his houseboat.
- Mm-hmm? - I'm having them dredge the marina.
Daphne is not getting away with this.
Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop, all right? Your main man has saved your job.
Oh, thanks, but I got a new job.
What? Well, once you told me that I might be in trouble had me realize that I'm really not valued here.
- No - Have you seen my numbers? Yeah.
Highest account retention in the [Bleep.]
company.
I do my work.
Wow, so then you're leaving? I mean, you know, yeah.
Less work, more pay, and a bocce court.
Finally get to unleash my inner elderly-Italian gentleman-of-leisure.
Man.
Congrats, Charlie.
Anyway Thanks for everything, big D.
You always had my back, and I won't forget you.
And if you ever need a place to land, you hit me up.
'Cause we watch out for our own, right? Damn right.
That's what we do.
Yeah.
Smile, man.
I'm gonna check on you from time to time.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, and, uh If you need 30 pounds of unrefrigerated lamb, check the copy room.
- You know what I'm talking about? - Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about, man.
All right.
Peace.
How could you do this to me, Philip? Oh, I hate you.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
I love you.
I love you so much.
I didn't mean that.
Poor a little out for our homey? Hey, guys, I just Aah! Charlie would've loved that.
Yeah.
Damn you, Daphne.