Bravest Warriors (2012) s01e02 Episode Script

Emotion Lord

We got our buns waxed.
At least we're not dead.
When we get home I'm just gonna relax with a nice head of butter lettuce.
You're such a weirdo.
Danny, how's life support? Damage to vital systems? Danny? I think something's wrong with Danny.
Yeah, he doesn't normally do that.
Dude! Chill! I'm serious bro! Chill! Dude! Bro! He was hysterical, like a regular nut bar.
I noted several whacked-out spasms of pain, Chris.
Computer: Diagnose Danny.
Diagnosis: Danny has contracted Zgraxxis fever.
Alright, time to replace his eyeballs.
Something's not right.
I'm getting that weird feeling.
Kinda barfy.
This whole mission has been so whack.
First, when we landed on Zgraxxis to help King Congletard fight the Hardcore Hill Midgets, didn't it seem more like they were Softcore Hill Midgets? noticed you noticing that.
Then when you guys were towing their artificial Sun, that Moon Dragon totally got the wrong idea and kept trying to have sassy moments with our aft boosters.
And then Beth grew a tail! Yeah, and I got a tail! Hello.
If you people don't want my help then I'll just take my good looks and my country pork rinds back to the bus stop! Pretend I was never here! Um, greetings--? That guy wasn't here a second ago.
Don't let me tarnish your track pants! I'm garbage! I can just go die! We were talking.
Yeah.
And then there was an aged man with pork rinds, listing off unusual cares.
That's right.
And I saw a bus.
Over there.
I'm not sure what we just saw.
Some kind of Spectral phenomenon? Was that alien really here? Yeah, but readings say he was human.
And very emotional.
Did you see those powers? You guys, I think that was an Emotion Lord! Whaaat.
No one's ever seen an Emotion Lord.
It's just something weak people created to feel safe about their weakness.
You talk about me like I'm not even here! NOW what am I gonna do with all this motor oil? And you guys already have all the motor oil you could ever need! That old man is bat-dook crazy! These scans don't make sense.
Chris, I think you were standing too close to him for me to get a clear reading-- Alert: Patient critical.
All major organs failing.
Dang! We're losing him.
Computer: sterilize area for immediate surgery.
Yep, this place is now sterile.
Chris wants space chickens! What? No I don't-- 30 space chickens! GO! Woah -- heads up! Detecting high levels of space chickens! Wha-- NO! Space chickens are a surgeon's worst nightmare! I don't get it.
Who is this old guy? We don't need space chickens at all! OH NO! The space chickens are getting into the motor oil! Computer: contain area and re-sterilize! We're running outta time.
Is the Emotion Lord gone? I think so.
Alright.
Laser scalpel ready.
And removing Danny's eyelids-- Dabney's gone.
I'm callin it.
Time of death, sixteen-hundred hours.
We lost a good one.
Come on man! I can't find my Fresh Mex Victory Hat anywhere! Anyone seen it? Please, Danny's gonna DIE if I don't-- CASHEWS IN YOUR MOUTH! Unauthorized cashews! That is enough! Come out here and fight me, villain! It was you, wasn't it? Over here! YOU caused the freaky stuff on Zgraxxis! You're irrational, irresponsible -Marco! -Polo! verly emotional and unattractive! Don't shoot at me! And YOU'RE the reason Danny's going to die! Chris calm down.
Aren't you! Don't fire lasers in this direction! AREN'T YOU?! Chris -- don't!! I cannot train him.
He's not ready.
What are you talking about?! I was prepared to begin you on the path toward your destiny.
But you are too young, self-absorbed and impatient.
What destiny? You want to train me? Wait a minute! No more space chickens.
No more tail.
And your little friend Dandy healed.
I feel fresh as the dickens! One day, Chris Kirkman, you will know the full extent of your power.
But not now.
One day I WILL return.
Wait -- me? I'm gonna have powers? Are you kidding? Yeah I'm kidding.
FIVE HUNDRED CHOCOLATE PUPPIES! Gotta blow! This is the best day of my life!