Bravest Warriors (2012) s01e03 Episode Script

Butter Lettuce

Dark abomination of the Wet Mounds of Nardacorn! Taste my Blade! Nice whiskers.
Dude! Why can't a guy ever have his private time? You been in here since last night.
Come on Chris, I need to use the bathroom.
I haven't defeated the boss yet.
Oh man, that's Great Plains Wildebeest, with wizard hat and staff! Nobody's ever beaten that thing.
He's going down.
Man, that's too intense for six in the morning.
You can create what ever you want here in the Holo-John.
Hot! Why don't you just, I don't know play a nice muffins and yogurt fantasy.
I have unpleasant goals for you, wizard! Wallow come on, I'm not done in here.
Can't I have some dignity? See that? This'll take hella fortnights, and you'll get prolapsed anus from sitting there all day, and I won't let that happen! Go Falcon Axe! Who's hogging the Holo-John? Great Plains Wildebeest!? Hey Danny, we're Bathroom Bros! No we're not.
I wanna be Bathroom Bros! Danny!? Nobody rams my bathroom bro! Go Bumble Bee Storm to the eyeballlls! Hooray! Pageantry! Servitude! Uhhhg niiice! Your safety settings are right where I like 'em.
Hey Computer, Chris needs a reward for his bravery.
Load Beth hologram.
Make her a princess.
What are you doing? And make her like, ehhh, thirty percent sexier than normal.
What? Danny, Beth is my best friend, no way! You're right Chris, thirty's not enough.
Forty percent sexier! Nah, man-- NINE THOUSAND PERCENT! Oh no! Kill it! Kill it! Yeah, thirty is plenty.
Bravo, courageous knight! I Alright Danny, that's enough, man.
This is wrong! You've got it so bad.
You know the real Beth is in her room right down the hall.
Just go get down to biz, my ninja.
Beth and I grew up together.
I'm not gonna ruin our relationship with biz.
You fools are meant to be together, like all in a soft rock, soulmates-in-puberty kinda way.
Everybody knows it.
Computer: Save and Flush.
Holy Crow.
Danny!? What man, it wasn't me! Aw, classic Wankershim! Wankershim, who's a dirty little maple bar? Yes you are Computer: Show sink.
Voice command lockout, B-9 Delta.
Load "Butter Lettuce Fantasy" Beth Program three.
and lock Holo-John door from the outside.
I'm going back to bed.
What the hey? Uh, computer, show exit! Computer? Respond! Beth? Locally grown Butter Lettuce.
BUTTER LETTUCE PARTYYYYY!