Clarence US (2014) s03e04 Episode Script
Rock Show
1 [Remote clicks.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Rock music.]
One, two, three, four.
Just sitting around Sitting around Okay.
Wait, sorry.
That was me.
Can we try it one more time? Lauren, count us off? One, two, three, four! Just sitting around Hmm.
All right, what do we got here? [Sighs.]
I look like such a mom.
You got to guss it up a bit.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm! Hey.
Ugh.
Too much.
Dogmon You got to go get some dogs now Dogmon [Barking.]
Pew! Pew! [Grunts.]
[Laughs.]
What? Dogmon Oh.
Dogmon If you don't learn to earn your food [Howls.]
Huh, yeah, man.
- That was righteous.
- We sound okay.
Are you guys sure we're ready to play? I mean, is anyone even gonna show up? That's a good point.
I mean, has been, like, eight years.
Ah, geez.
We should've practiced more.
All right, freaks! Who's ready to rock? [Sighs.]
How come no one's rocking? Just thinking about how no one's gonna show up to the show probably.
What are you talking about? You guys are great! I've been listening to you all day, and Dogmon's the best rock band I ever heard in my whole life in the whole world.
[Warbling, grunting.]
Whoo! - Dogmon! - Whoo! Go, Clarence! Yeah! All right! We're gonna make tonight the best Dogmon show in the whole world! [All cheering.]
[Guitar riff vibrates.]
Ooh, yes.
[Chuckles.]
More of that, please.
Hey, what's going on in here? You guys start the party without me? Oh, hey, Mary.
Uh, you're gonna wear that? Uh, what? Oh, yeah.
- I don't know what I was thinking - Mom, I can't believe it! You look crazy like a rock and roll person.
If I didn't know, I'd be scared of you.
[Laughs.]
You're sweet, Clarence.
You're looking pretty crazy yourself.
Yeah, and I'm gonna be their new manager for the show tonight.
No, you're not.
I'm not bringing my son to some rowdy rock concert for grown ups.
- But Chad said I could go.
- He did what?! Uh[Chuckles.]
I have to come.
I'm the biggest Dogmon fan in the whole world since I just found out about them yesterday.
[Sighs.]
Well, can't say no to that.
[Indistinct talking.]
[Tires screech.]
[Grunts.]
# Dogmon! # It's time to play the show now [Barks.]
- Whoa, whoa.
- # Got to get our stuff down # Uh, hey, buddy, um, why don't you head on in with your mom, huh? We got this stuff.
[Sighs.]
All right, all right.
Here we go.
Yeah, little dude.
Look at you.
Nice Mohawk.
Boy, you look scary.
Are you here to see Dogmon? 'Cause I'm pretty much the manager of that band.
- What's Dogmon? - Only the biggest band on the planet.
Oh, the best on Earth? R-Right here? Had no idea.
- Oh, lady, let's see some I.
D.
- Oh, right, sorry.
I'm just kidding.
You're totally old.
I mean, look at you.
You're dressed like my grandma.
Hey, that's not very nice.
Watch your mouth.
[Chuckles.]
Whatever.
I don't even work here.
- Hey, did did I look cool? - Girl: You always look cool, babe.
Oh, wow.
Look at this venue.
Ooh, we can really explore the space.
Oh, there's not a lot of people here.
Guess they'll show up later? [Scatting.]
[Sighs.]
I need some kind of beverage.
[Vocalizing continues.]
Here it is.
The motherboard.
Ma'am, do you know how to work this thing? Of course.
Yeah.
Good.
We're gonna need all the help we can get.
Tonight's the biggest Dogmon show in the world, and what's this thing? A microphone? Yep.
KM47 there, bud.
- Really good weight to it.
- Yep.
KM7, huh? It makes things louder, like instruments or people's voices if they sing or talk into it.
Well, duh, but how does it actually work, though? - You really want to know? - Yes.
Yes, I do.
[Classical music plays.]
Welp, don't need all that mumbo jumbo here.
[Chuckles.]
As long as it's loud, I'm rockin'.
You know what I'm saying? [Chuckles.]
Kids.
[Guitars riffing.]
Sound in here's great.
Hey, Kim, when do you think Dogmon is gonna play? Let's see.
Shadow Twins double booked the show, huh? - So you guys are on a little later.
- So, like, 9:30-ish? [Grunting.]
Ooh.
[Sighs.]
Oh, do you need help? You look like you need help.
Ooh, he is kicking.
You know what? I know how to do this, so why don't you just go over there and have a seat, and I got this.
It'll be good.
[Cymbal rings.]
Yes! So you guys must be throwing an after party, huh? The Clayton house? Oh, no, no.
Those days are behind us.
Oh, we've got a family now.
Now, here's us on Thanksgiving.
- Wow.
There's, like, eight kids there.
- Nine.
Such a joy.
[Laughs.]
You've got a family, too, right? What did you guys do? Uh, well, me and Chad took Clarence to a drive-in movie and, uh, ate some hot dogs.
Uh, oh, and then, uh, actually egged some houses, [chuckling.]
so that was sort of, uh Hey, we're Mind Fertilizer, and we're here to fertilize your mind! [Electronica music plays.]
Wow.
They're good.
[Gasps.]
[Music.]
Oh, boy.
[Gulping.]
[Sighs.]
Ahh.
Hey, there he is.
Damien "The Lady Killer" Dawson, eh? How the heck are you, Romeo? Well, you know, I'm well.
I'm well.
I know you must, uh, have a girl or three you're chasing after tonight, you old dog.
[Chuckles.]
No, no.
Those days are behind me.
- I found true love.
- [Stammers.]
You got married? No, no.
My love runs much deeper than that.
You gotta be kidding me.
[Electronica music continues.]
They're still playing? [Yawns.]
[Panting.]
We must build the fortress stronger so we can rock out.
[Grunts.]
Uh-oh.
That's not good.
Yeah! We are Mind Fertilizer, and you've been fertilized! Thank you, Aberdale, and good night! [Laughs.]
[Panting.]
All right, Dogmon.
You ready to party? Oh, uh, uh Hey! Hey, guys, we're up now, so, yep, let's do it.
[Chuckles.]
Dogmon reunion! Whoo-hoo! [Laughs.]
Hey! That's my drum kit.
Um, can I use these? It's for Dogmon.
[Scoffs.]
There is absolutely no way.
But look.
She can barely walk.
[Grunts.]
Plus, her drums are broken 'cause somebody broke them.
Fine.
But be careful.
Come on, everybody! Come see the band! - This band's really good.
- All right! Dogmon's here.
Let's, uh, get close to the stage! Come on! Well, howdy! Willy's got some real spicy chili in the back if y'all want a snack! - Woman: Ooh, chili.
- No, wait, wait, guys? Doesn't anybody want to dance? - Damien, come on.
- Oh, no.
I'll probably just grab some chili and head home.
- Isn't anyone here to have fun? - Oh, man.
Hey, guys.
Maybe we should call it a night.
No one wants to see us play.
[Vocalizing.]
[Grunting.]
You know what? You old prunes do what you want.
I'm gonna go dance with my boys.
- Let's do this, mama! - All right, let's rock.
I'm outta luck I'm running out of time I've reached my peak I'm truly past my prime Now there's nothing I can really do but hide [Grunting.]
But maybe I can show I'm still alive - # Yeah! # - Yeah! Come on! Rock it! Yeah, that's right.
- Whoo! Clarence! - Go, dude, go! [Laughs.]
Who's that guy? I'm still here Still here And I'm not going Until I really want to 'Cause I All kinds of chili! I got you the Woman: I want to go listen to those guys play.
Because I want to It doesn't matter how old you are and It doesn't matter if it's true It doesn't matter what they think of you Just do what you wanna do [Guitar solo.]
[Chanting "Chad".]
Yeah! All right, go, Dogmon! You guys are awesome! - Rock on! - Dogmon, Dogmon.
Do it I will play As long as I got a guitar, I'm gonna use it Come on, Dogmon! You got it! Whoa! It doesn't matter how old you are and It doesn't matter All right.
Aah! [Grunts.]
Whoo-hoo-hoo! - # Just do what you wanna do # - Go, Mom! Clarence, hey.
Get up here.
[All cheering.]
[Grunting.]
Whoo! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! [Chanting "Clarence".]
Whoo! Hey! What the heck?! Be nice to my drums! I'm gonna chili you right in the face! Hey, stop it! - I just bought this outfit! - Yee-haw! [Indistinct shouting.]
Awesome.
Okay, honey, uh, we should get out of here.
- Come on, Chad, let's go! - Dogmon's still got it.
[All howling.]
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Rock music.]
One, two, three, four.
Just sitting around Sitting around Okay.
Wait, sorry.
That was me.
Can we try it one more time? Lauren, count us off? One, two, three, four! Just sitting around Hmm.
All right, what do we got here? [Sighs.]
I look like such a mom.
You got to guss it up a bit.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm! Hey.
Ugh.
Too much.
Dogmon You got to go get some dogs now Dogmon [Barking.]
Pew! Pew! [Grunts.]
[Laughs.]
What? Dogmon Oh.
Dogmon If you don't learn to earn your food [Howls.]
Huh, yeah, man.
- That was righteous.
- We sound okay.
Are you guys sure we're ready to play? I mean, is anyone even gonna show up? That's a good point.
I mean, has been, like, eight years.
Ah, geez.
We should've practiced more.
All right, freaks! Who's ready to rock? [Sighs.]
How come no one's rocking? Just thinking about how no one's gonna show up to the show probably.
What are you talking about? You guys are great! I've been listening to you all day, and Dogmon's the best rock band I ever heard in my whole life in the whole world.
[Warbling, grunting.]
Whoo! - Dogmon! - Whoo! Go, Clarence! Yeah! All right! We're gonna make tonight the best Dogmon show in the whole world! [All cheering.]
[Guitar riff vibrates.]
Ooh, yes.
[Chuckles.]
More of that, please.
Hey, what's going on in here? You guys start the party without me? Oh, hey, Mary.
Uh, you're gonna wear that? Uh, what? Oh, yeah.
- I don't know what I was thinking - Mom, I can't believe it! You look crazy like a rock and roll person.
If I didn't know, I'd be scared of you.
[Laughs.]
You're sweet, Clarence.
You're looking pretty crazy yourself.
Yeah, and I'm gonna be their new manager for the show tonight.
No, you're not.
I'm not bringing my son to some rowdy rock concert for grown ups.
- But Chad said I could go.
- He did what?! Uh[Chuckles.]
I have to come.
I'm the biggest Dogmon fan in the whole world since I just found out about them yesterday.
[Sighs.]
Well, can't say no to that.
[Indistinct talking.]
[Tires screech.]
[Grunts.]
# Dogmon! # It's time to play the show now [Barks.]
- Whoa, whoa.
- # Got to get our stuff down # Uh, hey, buddy, um, why don't you head on in with your mom, huh? We got this stuff.
[Sighs.]
All right, all right.
Here we go.
Yeah, little dude.
Look at you.
Nice Mohawk.
Boy, you look scary.
Are you here to see Dogmon? 'Cause I'm pretty much the manager of that band.
- What's Dogmon? - Only the biggest band on the planet.
Oh, the best on Earth? R-Right here? Had no idea.
- Oh, lady, let's see some I.
D.
- Oh, right, sorry.
I'm just kidding.
You're totally old.
I mean, look at you.
You're dressed like my grandma.
Hey, that's not very nice.
Watch your mouth.
[Chuckles.]
Whatever.
I don't even work here.
- Hey, did did I look cool? - Girl: You always look cool, babe.
Oh, wow.
Look at this venue.
Ooh, we can really explore the space.
Oh, there's not a lot of people here.
Guess they'll show up later? [Scatting.]
[Sighs.]
I need some kind of beverage.
[Vocalizing continues.]
Here it is.
The motherboard.
Ma'am, do you know how to work this thing? Of course.
Yeah.
Good.
We're gonna need all the help we can get.
Tonight's the biggest Dogmon show in the world, and what's this thing? A microphone? Yep.
KM47 there, bud.
- Really good weight to it.
- Yep.
KM7, huh? It makes things louder, like instruments or people's voices if they sing or talk into it.
Well, duh, but how does it actually work, though? - You really want to know? - Yes.
Yes, I do.
[Classical music plays.]
Welp, don't need all that mumbo jumbo here.
[Chuckles.]
As long as it's loud, I'm rockin'.
You know what I'm saying? [Chuckles.]
Kids.
[Guitars riffing.]
Sound in here's great.
Hey, Kim, when do you think Dogmon is gonna play? Let's see.
Shadow Twins double booked the show, huh? - So you guys are on a little later.
- So, like, 9:30-ish? [Grunting.]
Ooh.
[Sighs.]
Oh, do you need help? You look like you need help.
Ooh, he is kicking.
You know what? I know how to do this, so why don't you just go over there and have a seat, and I got this.
It'll be good.
[Cymbal rings.]
Yes! So you guys must be throwing an after party, huh? The Clayton house? Oh, no, no.
Those days are behind us.
Oh, we've got a family now.
Now, here's us on Thanksgiving.
- Wow.
There's, like, eight kids there.
- Nine.
Such a joy.
[Laughs.]
You've got a family, too, right? What did you guys do? Uh, well, me and Chad took Clarence to a drive-in movie and, uh, ate some hot dogs.
Uh, oh, and then, uh, actually egged some houses, [chuckling.]
so that was sort of, uh Hey, we're Mind Fertilizer, and we're here to fertilize your mind! [Electronica music plays.]
Wow.
They're good.
[Gasps.]
[Music.]
Oh, boy.
[Gulping.]
[Sighs.]
Ahh.
Hey, there he is.
Damien "The Lady Killer" Dawson, eh? How the heck are you, Romeo? Well, you know, I'm well.
I'm well.
I know you must, uh, have a girl or three you're chasing after tonight, you old dog.
[Chuckles.]
No, no.
Those days are behind me.
- I found true love.
- [Stammers.]
You got married? No, no.
My love runs much deeper than that.
You gotta be kidding me.
[Electronica music continues.]
They're still playing? [Yawns.]
[Panting.]
We must build the fortress stronger so we can rock out.
[Grunts.]
Uh-oh.
That's not good.
Yeah! We are Mind Fertilizer, and you've been fertilized! Thank you, Aberdale, and good night! [Laughs.]
[Panting.]
All right, Dogmon.
You ready to party? Oh, uh, uh Hey! Hey, guys, we're up now, so, yep, let's do it.
[Chuckles.]
Dogmon reunion! Whoo-hoo! [Laughs.]
Hey! That's my drum kit.
Um, can I use these? It's for Dogmon.
[Scoffs.]
There is absolutely no way.
But look.
She can barely walk.
[Grunts.]
Plus, her drums are broken 'cause somebody broke them.
Fine.
But be careful.
Come on, everybody! Come see the band! - This band's really good.
- All right! Dogmon's here.
Let's, uh, get close to the stage! Come on! Well, howdy! Willy's got some real spicy chili in the back if y'all want a snack! - Woman: Ooh, chili.
- No, wait, wait, guys? Doesn't anybody want to dance? - Damien, come on.
- Oh, no.
I'll probably just grab some chili and head home.
- Isn't anyone here to have fun? - Oh, man.
Hey, guys.
Maybe we should call it a night.
No one wants to see us play.
[Vocalizing.]
[Grunting.]
You know what? You old prunes do what you want.
I'm gonna go dance with my boys.
- Let's do this, mama! - All right, let's rock.
I'm outta luck I'm running out of time I've reached my peak I'm truly past my prime Now there's nothing I can really do but hide [Grunting.]
But maybe I can show I'm still alive - # Yeah! # - Yeah! Come on! Rock it! Yeah, that's right.
- Whoo! Clarence! - Go, dude, go! [Laughs.]
Who's that guy? I'm still here Still here And I'm not going Until I really want to 'Cause I All kinds of chili! I got you the Woman: I want to go listen to those guys play.
Because I want to It doesn't matter how old you are and It doesn't matter if it's true It doesn't matter what they think of you Just do what you wanna do [Guitar solo.]
[Chanting "Chad".]
Yeah! All right, go, Dogmon! You guys are awesome! - Rock on! - Dogmon, Dogmon.
Do it I will play As long as I got a guitar, I'm gonna use it Come on, Dogmon! You got it! Whoa! It doesn't matter how old you are and It doesn't matter All right.
Aah! [Grunts.]
Whoo-hoo-hoo! - # Just do what you wanna do # - Go, Mom! Clarence, hey.
Get up here.
[All cheering.]
[Grunting.]
Whoo! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! [Chanting "Clarence".]
Whoo! Hey! What the heck?! Be nice to my drums! I'm gonna chili you right in the face! Hey, stop it! - I just bought this outfit! - Yee-haw! [Indistinct shouting.]
Awesome.
Okay, honey, uh, we should get out of here.
- Come on, Chad, let's go! - Dogmon's still got it.
[All howling.]
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose