Doctor Who s05e17 Episode Script

Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2

Oh, typical bloke.
Straight to fixing his motor.
That's the thing, Ami.
I am not a typical bloke.
Sorry, did i do something wrong? 'Cause I'm getting kind of mixed signals here.
Mixed signals? How? Oh, come on.
You turn up in the middle of the night, you get me out of my bed in my nightie, which you then don't let me change out of for ages, and take me for a spin in your time machine.
No, no, you're right.
No mixed signals there.
That is just a signal.
Like a great big bat signal in the sky.
Get your coat, love.
The Doctor is in.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
It's Not like that.
That's not what I'm like.
-Then what are you like? -I don't know.
Gandalf.
Like a space Gandalf.
Like the little green one in Star Wars You really are not.
You are a bloke.
I'm the Doctor.
Every room you walk into, you laugh at all the men and show off to all the girls.
-Do not.
-What about Rory? You laughed! No! That was just an involuntary snort, of fondness.
You are a bloke and you don'tknow it.
And here I am to help.
That is not why you're here.
-Then why am l here? -Because Because I can't see it any more.
See what? I'm 907.
After a while, you just can't see it.
-See what? -Everything.
I look at a star and it's just a big ball of burning gas.
And I know how it began and I know how it ends, and I was probably there both times.
Now, after a while, everything is just stuff.
That's the problem.
You make all of space and time your backyard and what do you have? A backyard.
But you, you can see it.
And when you see it, l see it.
And that's the only reason you took me with you? -There are worse reasons.
-(SNORTING) I was certainly hoping so.
Does that mean I'm not the first, then? There have been others travelling with you.
Yeah, sure.
Loads of them.
But just friends, you know, chums, pals, mates, buddies.
Not mates, forget mates.
And out of all those friends, how many would you say, just out of curiosity, were girls? Oh.
Some of them, l suppose.
-Must have been.
-Some? It's hard to tell.
It's a grey area.
Under half? Over half? Probably slightly a little bit over? Hmm.
Young? Everyone's young compared to me.
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) Hot? No.
No, no, no.
no.
None of them.
Not really.
Not at all.
Probably not.
Maybe one or two.
I didn't really notice.
Well, this big old machine must have some kind of visual records.
Oh, God.
I mean no, and anyway, they're voice-locked.
Oh, voice-locked.
So I would just have to say "Show me all visual record of previous Tardis inhabitants.
" No.
No, no, no.
I mean voice-locked.
I would have to say, "Show me all visual record of previous Tardis inhabitants.
" Oh, thank you.
-(BEEPING) -No! No, no, no! No! (AMY LAUGHlNG) Oh, Gandalf.
Thanks.
Thanks, dear.
Miss out the metal dog, why don't you? Is that a leather bikini? Right.
That's it.
Rory.
We're going to find Rory and we're going to find him now.
He's at a stag night.
Well, then.
Let's make it a great one.