Doctor Who s08e84 Episode Script

An Adventure In Space And Time

1 This is the BBC.
The following programme is based on actual events.
It's important to remember, however, that you can't rewrite history.
Not one line.
Except, perhaps, when you embark on an Adventure In Space And Time Everything all right, sir? Are you OK? You need to move along now, sir.
Sir HE KNOCKS You're in the way.
KNOCKING Hello? Er, Mr Hartnell? Mr Hartnell, sir, they're asking for you now.
HE COUGHS Shall I tell them you're coming now? Tell them what you like.
Beg your pardon, Mr Hartnell? Tell them what you BLOODY well like! Listen, I'm only doing my job.
Sod off, will you! I'm not ready! I need more time.
Len! Len, for God's sake! You'll go up like a Roman Candle, if you're not careful.
Can I take my head off, mate? I'm boiling in here.
No.
We'll be starting up again in a minute.
Why? What's the hold up? You know who.
Well, tell him to get his skates on! Some of us have got a bloody planet to invade.
Shh! What? Can I see your pass, sir? Ah, come on, Harry.
You know my face! That's as maybe, sir.
Sydney Newman.
Clue's in the name.
Better than any mug-shot.
Still need to see your pass, sir.
Ah, to hell with it! That's not the way we do things at the BBC, sir! You don't say! HE SCOFFS So, we got a great, big thumping audience for Grandstand, but we lose them before the teeny boppers tune in for Juke Box Jury, right? Right.
Ermcorrect.
We got a gap to plug.
25 minutes.
How about another Dickens? Fossilised, Mervyn! Fusty.
Frowsty.
And lots of less polite words beginning with F.
Here's a word for you, though - fun! FUN! You heard of fun, Mervyn? It that something else you've brought from ITV? I hope so, I certainly hope so! We need stuff to keep the sports fans hooked and the kids too.
Competitive Tiddlywinks? You know what I'm talking about.
science fiction? Is it really that popular? It was last time I took a look.
With juvenile boys, perhaps.
I like it.
Oh, let's have a wonderful time Let's have a wonderful time Come on, everybody and let's have a wonderful time LAUGHING AND CHATTING She thought the balloon had gone up.
What? She thought we'd all had it.
Cuba! No point in holding back if the missiles started flying.
So she put it about a bit.
A lot! So what did they say? "You're only a production assistant, dear.
"It's a bit of a leap.
" I'm giving myself a year, Jackie.
Get on in television or get out.
Oh.
What do I know? I spend my time trying not to bump into the cameras, but don't pack in yet, Verity.
Softly, softly, eh? Mmm.
You've got a What? Red wine.
Oh.
Red wine.
Oh, Lord, it's on, isn't it? What? The space shot! The Soviets.
Valentina what's-it.
First woman in space! Oh, God, yes! SHE SWITCHES ON THE TV ANNOUNCER: And there she is, Valentina Tereshkova looking, appropriately enough, on top of the world.
VALENTINA SPEAKING RUSSIAN Pop, pop, pop.
The first woman in space, a major triumph there for the Soviet Union in the ever-escalating space race.
PHONE RINGS Hello? Verity, it's Sydney.
What? Sydney! Sydney! Hello, stranger.
You know anything about children, Verity? Not a thing.
We want to do a science fiction serial.
Legitimate stuff, though.
No tin robots or BEMs.
BEMs? Bug-Eyed Monsters! You know mutations and Death Rays.
Brains in glass jars, that kind of crap.
It's going to run all year.
So a good-looking guy, a good-looking girl and a kid who gets herself into all kinds of trouble.
Plus an older man.
Quirky.
I'll come back to him.
They travel about in space and time getting into scrapes! That's a lovely idea! You know me.
Pop! Pop! Pop! And we want history too.
Proper history.
The kids at home should learn something.
And what about this other man? The quirky character? He's a doctor.
A doctor? Mm-hmm.
He should be a doctor, don't you think? Makes him an authority figure, Sorta, kinda reassuring.
So, what do you think? Look, Sydney, I'd love to work with you again.
Really I would.
It's just SHE SIGHS I gave myself a year.
Get on in TV or get out Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I don't want you to be my assistant again, kid! I want you to produce it! Produce it? Sure.
They've never had a female producer here! Sit down! You're just what this place needs! Someone with piss and vinegar in their veins! Thanks! I think.
I did a show called Pathfinders at ITV.
You see it? Um We had an old guy as the hero.
A grumpy old guy.
That's what we want here.
THE ARMY GANG PLAYS ON THE TV Wait for it! Attention! Oh, my stars! What did I do to deserve you lot? Drivel.
We'll make her a skirt No-one rung? SHE SCOFFS Not since you last asked.
All right.
Five minutes ago.
All right, all right! You've only been out of work a couple of weeks.
Well, I'm not built for lazing around, am I? I've got to graft or I'll go round the twist.
What about that play? Another ruddy army part! No fear.
That's all they ever offer me.
Crooks and perishing Sergeant Majors! But that's how casting people see you, isn't it, love? Authority figures.
My grandfather's a funny 'un Don't do that.
He's got a face like a pickled onion.
Stop it! Bloody rubbish.
Bill! Not in front of Judi.
My Grandfather's a funny 'un.
I said stop it! Why are you always so grumpy, Sampa? What? What's it got to do with you? Silly girl! Judi? Judi-poodi, darling? For goodness' sake, Bill! Go after her! I told the girl once.
What's wrong with her? Cloth-ears? Urgh! Don't you like being successful? That's not success! I'm legitimate! A legitimate character actor of the stage and film! This is variety! I only asked.
What about Leslie French? He'd be marvellous.
He's working with Visconti.
Gave us a polite no.
Cyril Cusack? A less polite no.
Ahem.
Can I help you? I think you're in my office.
That's a rather interesting way of looking at it.
I'm rather an interesting person.
I don't doubt it.
Rex Tucker.
I'm looking after Doctor Who.
Pending the appointment of the permanent producer.
Oh.
Is he with you? You're looking at him.
I keep coming back to Hugh David.
Who? He was in Knight Errant on ITV.
Lovely actor.
Not old enough for the Doctor, surely? Well, we don't want Grandpa Moses, do we? We need someone who can play older.
The shooting schedule's going to be pretty punishing.
I've got some ideas.
I'll call Hugh.
See what he thinks.
I'd rather you didn't.
Is that a fact? Waste of time! We need someone like Frank Morgan in the Wizard Of Oz.
He's dead.
Rex And American.
I said "like".
Well, perhaps we should all sleep on it.
After all, it took them months to find Scarlet O'Hara! Umdear lady, may I have a word? PHONE RINGS Hello? Yes.
Oh, yes? Is it right you were Sydney's production assistant on the other channel? Yes.
So this is quite a promotion.
Apparently.
Bound to ruffle a few feathers.
If feathers don't ruffle, nothing flies.
This show is going to be a terrific challenge, you know.
Outer space.
Time travel.
In the first script, they go back to the Stone Age.
You'll need all the help you can get.
So, Rex is going to act as a sort of mentor to you.
A ship can't have two captains.
Dear lady Please don't call me that.
Sorry.
And what about you, Mervyn? What's your function? I'm to be your sort of technical boffin.
Help you through the mire of all this.
Sydney obviously thinks he's got the right person for the job.
That's what he wants for Doctor Who.
Someone with piss and vinegar in their veins.
Did he say that? He's very blunt.
Yes.
Look, all I'm saying is, dear la Verity.
All I'm saying is that experience is not a dirty word.
Don't fight us.
Perhaps you could add a few drops of warm beer in with your Piss and Mixture.
Just for the time being.
Well.
We'd better clear out, we'll have the news team in here.
That's clever.
So they don't have to look down at their words all the time.
Yes.
Quite a wheeze.
Someone'll make a fortune out of that.
I suppose so.
Shame I didn't get to the patent office faster.
Why? I invented it! Well, have a look at it, Bill.
It certainly sounds different.
And it's an old man part, you know.
Is it? Yeah! It's like This Sporting Life.
Well, I love playing older! I know.
Well? What next? He's going to set up a meeting.
He sounded ever so upbeat on the phone.
He says it's a smashing role.
For the BBC.
Yeah, yeah and it's for kiddies! Come on, Stumpy! Off to Madame Bovary.
Well, I'm sure he'll be happier away from us.
Any news from the design department? They're not being very helpful, I'm afraid.
KNOCK ON DOOR What is this?! What're we going to do with this? Stone Age Man going, "Ug"! It's crazy! Cavemen and doctors and disappearing bloody police boxes! What're we going to do? Waris Hussein.
Our director.
Verity.
Hi.
What have you just been working on? Er, Compact.
Oh.
High art indeed.
Shut up.
Don't people say "Ug" in Compact? Frequently.
Mostly after a liquid lunch.
The cavemen script is the only one ready to go.
We have to start with it.
Right, and where are we shooting? Lime Grove.
Studio D.
Oh, God, not there! We can't do anything there.
It's a broom cupboard.
It's smaller on the inside.
It's the wrong shape and the sprinklers go off when it gets hot.
Well, you'll make it brilliantly, won't you? Oh.
I see.
Simple as that.
It'll never work.
When do we start? Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hello? Yes, sir? Gin and tonic Vodka and tonic and a red wine, please.
Sorry, love, I'm serving Vodka and tonic and a red wine, please.
Vodka tonic, red wine.
Thank you.
I'd have been stood here all night.
"We are all strangers in a strange land.
" Very profound.
Isn't it? You'll find I'm generally pretty profound.
I wish I had your front.
I wish I had your behind.
Shh! Like a little peach.
Shut up! Don't be fooled, Waris.
That's all it is.
Front.
Inside, I'm shaking like a leaf.
I'm here by the skin of my bloody teeth.
First Indian director this place has ever had.
So, we've got to stick together, haven't we? Make our little show work.
That'll teach them.
Who? The old guard.
This - sea of fag smoke, tweed and sweaty men.
Not that I'm knocking sweaty men.
I should hope not.
Listen, I overheard a couple of old horrors standing by the tea urn.
They said, "Well, she didn't get here standing up, did she?" Sydney's bit of fluff, am I? Well, that seems to be the impression.
How else could you get a promotion like this? A promotion like what? I'm trying to recreate the Stone Age with Airfix glue and bloody BacoFoil! We're trying to.
Yes.
Sorry.
Here's to us.
The posh wog! And the pushy Jewish bird! L'chaim! Cheers.
We could have our own series! We do! I don't want any of this muck, thanks very much.
I'll have a drink.
Right.
You the director, son? Yes.
Hardly out of the cradle, the pair of you.
Right.
Let's talk turkey.
I'm not sure about this.
Not sure at all.
No? Apart from anything else, I don't want to take on another long run.
Had enough of that on The Army Game.
Nearly killed me.
Weekly bloody rep! Would you like to order drinks? Whisky and soda.
Chopee, chopee.
Whose idea was all this? That fella from ITV? Sydney Newman, yes.
But so many people have been at the birth of the thing, we'd be here all day DOCTOR WHO THEME PLAYS Tell me about the characters.
Two school teachers.
Ian and Barbara.
They're intrigued about one of their pupils.
A young girl called Susan.
She seems to have impossible knowledge for a girl from 1963.
So the schoolteachers follow her home.
But "home" is a junkyard Yes, yes, yes.
Scripts.
I need to see scripts.
Oh, they're going wonderfully.
Wonderfully! The BBC are really excited about the show.
They're throwing everything at it.
State of the art facilities.
How do they get about? Flying saucer or something? Ours is a space and time machine that can blend in with its background.
You mean it's covered in invisible paint or something? No, no it adapts to suit its environment.
It gets stuck in one shape.
A police box.
A police box? How gorgeous would that be? An ordinary 20th-century object on the surface of an alien planet! Fantastic! And the opening titles are like nothing you've ever seen.
Yes.
You see, if you point a camera down its own monitor, it creates the most wonderful shapes, patterns Like mirrors, endlessly reflecting.
Swooping and pulsing, like butterfly wings.
Maybe I could be in them? Just pop in front of the camera would you, Tony? Let's see how that looks.
Oh, Christ, no! That's terrifying! .
.
and wait till you hear the music, we're using the latest technology.
How did you do it? Brian's house keys.
SCRAPING NOISE And what about the Doctor himself? He's something like 600 years old.
Looks like a senile old man but he's tough.
Tough and wiry like an old turkey.
It's what you do so well, Mr Hartnell.
Stern and scary but with a twinkle.
Trust me, Bill.
You're perfect for it.
No-one will be able to resist you.
You really think so? CS Lewis meets HG Wells meets Father Christmas.
That's the Doctor.
Doctor who, hmm? Come on, big smiles! And again.
Come on, big smiles.
Cheers! Lovely.
Come on, one more.
Lovely stuff.
That's it! You're a brick for doing this.
Contractually obliged, darling.
No, no! I mean the show.
You'll all give it such gravitas.
Thank you.
So, what do you make of him? Oh, I've always been a fan.
Wonderful screen actor.
He frightens the life out of me.
I think he's sweet.
Bless him.
Bless him? He's not as old as he looks.
Must've had a tough life.
Are you OK? Scared to death! Me too.
How about one of just the three of you then? Oh, well.
Goodbye, real world! One more.
Patience.
I have the patience of a saint.
But it's wearing very thin! We need the inside of the TARDIS right now! I'm busy.
You'll get your time machine when I can find a moment Too busy for a children's programme, is that it? Patience.
"If you could touch the alien sand and listen to the sound of" Bugger! "If you could touch the alien sand and hear the cry of strange birds "and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you? "Susan and I are cut off from our own people.
"But one day we shall get back.
Yes.
One day.
"One day.
" Who's Susan? My granddaughter.
I'm your granddaughter.
Yes.
Yes, of course you are, darling.
But she's my granddaughter in the story I'm doing on the television.
I play a funny old man who lives inside a magic box.
Like a jack-in-the-box, Sampa? A little like that, yes.
But, this is a machine in disguise.
A time machine.
Do you know how to fly a time machine, Sampa? Hm? Yes! Yes, of course I do! You'll see.
You'll see when I'm on the television.
We'll be going back through history to meet kings and queens.
And off to distant planets where the Doctor will have all kinds of adventures.
The Doctor? He's the old man I'm playing.
A doctor? Does he make people better? No! I have Don't you think you're being rather high-handed, young man? You thought you saw a young girl enter the yard.
You imagine you heard music or her voice? You believe she might be in there? Not very substantial, is it? But why won't you help us? I'm not hindering you.
You intrude here.
He's tetchy as hell.
.
.
start making accusations and implications.
If you both want to make fools of yourselves, I suggest you do what you said you'd do.
Go and ask a policeman Bugger! FETCH a policeman.
While you nip off quietly in the other direction, I suppose.
Come on, Barbara.
What are you doing out there, Grandfather? Go back inside! Shut the door! Shut that door! Barbara! OK! OK, everyone.
Fantastic.
That's where we stop the tape and go inside the spaceship.
When it's built! OK.
Good.
Well done.
Everyone happy? No, I'm not happy.
Not at all.
Er, Miss Lambert.
A word, if you please.
Coffee? Good idea.
Thank you.
The set for the machine? TARDIS? When is it arriving? There's, er, there's been adelay.
It won't do.
It just won't do.
I don't know how I'm expected to cope with all the technical gibberish I have to spout without a bloody set to work on.
I'm sorry, Bill.
II need time to plot out all the buttons, you see.
Buttons? On the controls! All the switches and dials.
I need to know what they all do.
What if I press something to open the doors and the next week I use it to blow us all up! You must see that? The children will spot it, you see, if we try and fudge it.
And we must discuss my character.
Absolutely.
He's too abrasive.
Too nasty.
Do you see? Where's that twinkle you talked about? The thing that made me so right for it? I Oh, Sydney! Sydney Newman, Head Of Drama, let me introduce you to Mr William Hartnell.
Right! Our Doctor! Great choice.
I'm a big fan.
Big fan.
Oh, thank you.
But I do need to discuss What was that terrific war picture, you were in? What was that? Well, I've done a few.
The Way Ahead? Yeah! Hell of a picture.
You were sensational! Oh! Do you really think so? Oh, yes.
Absolutely extraordinary.
I did get some very nice notices.
Yes.
Was that before or after Brighton Rock? Oh, before Of course! You were in Brighton Rock! Wow! What a performance! Oh.
Well.
Ha-ha.
You're very kind.
It should have led to much bigger and better things, you know, but, ermI wasn't blessed.
Not blessed? What the hell are you talking about? Of course you're blessed.
You're going to be Doctor Who, aren't you? Well, yes Perfect choice for my little show.
My idea anyway.
That's what I do.
Ideas! One day I came into ITV.
"I got an idea," I said.
"The Avengers!" "What's it about?" they said.
"How the hell should I know," I said.
"But what a title!" Pop! Pop! Pop! You, sir, are going to make a huge impact with this character.
I am? Only a movie star could do it.
So nuanced.
So many layers.
Well, you know.
One tries.
And these kids are perfect for it.
You couldn't be in safer hands.
Fun! Energy! Youth! Pop! Pop! Pop! Freaks.
Thank you so much, Sydney.
You've no idea what a difference it makes Be a producer, Verity.
Find a way to deal with this stuff.
Or are you out of your depth? What are you doing? Being patient.
What? I can be very patient.
You can't stay here! Now, what shall we talk about? I've got all day.
Don't be ridiculous! The Old Curiosity Shop! The Roman Forum! The Hanging Gardens Of Babylon! Symphonies in pencil and ink.
So, surely you can turn your hand to my teeny little time machine? Just turn that blazing talent of yours to my little kiddies' show and who knows what might happen? Won't take you more than half an hour.
You are a very trying woman.
Then I'll get out of your hair.
Maybe the muse will be with you! Maybe it will be the best thing you've ever thought of.
Very well! Very well! Here.
Here, madam.
Here's your bloody TARDIS! Turned out rather well, hasn't it? Through the cupboard doors and into Narnia! It's too bloody big.
Takes up half the studio.
Yes, yes? Yes, yes, Waris, I heard him.
Thank you.
Right.
Can you pass me my script, please? This is ridiculous! Sorry, boys and girls.
He says he won't have his teeth blacked out, Guv.
Dougie, it's 100,000 BC! Yeah, I know.
It's the Tribe Of Gum.
He says he got them whitened to get onto the telly.
Well, does it matter? We only see his bloody shadow.
I'll do it! What? I don't mind blacking my teeth.
I've already got sand fleas in my Y-fronts.
Can't get much worse.
OK, stout man! I think we're sorted then, Guv.
Thank you, Duggie.
Red light, bell BELL RINGS OK, into position, everyone, and roll to record in 15 God, it's hot in here.
Anyone else hot? Yeah.
Can we do something about the heat? I thought he'd be used to it.
What? Nothing.
Watch it, Arthur.
Five minutes, chum.
Then they turn the lights out.
Them's the rules.
OK, everyone.
Quiet, please.
QUIET! Fivefourthree OK, come in to camera one, on one.
OK, clear two.
These people are known to you, I believe.
What are you doing here? They're two of my schoolteachers.
Is that your excuse for this unwarrantable Unwarranted intrusion? You had no right to invite them here.
I blame you for this, Susan.
You will insist on OK, come in on, er Come in on three.
I warned you.
But, Grandfather, I Is this really where you live, Susan? Yes! On three.
Coming on one.
It was just a box! On one, on three.
Come in on two.
You see, I knew this would happen.
Move the camera.
Get hold of the cable! Get the cable! Move the bloody camera! Arthur, what the hell is he doing? Why doesn't he have a go? Now we are here, I'd just like to I know this is absurd, but DOORS CREAK The doors! What's happening to the doors? It moves.
The TARDIS can go anywhere.
TARDIS? I don't know what you mean, Susan.
I made up TARDIS from the initials.
Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.
I thought you'd both realise when you came inside and saw the different dimensions from outside.
What's What's happening to the bloody doors? A thing that looks like a police box, stuck in a junk yard, can move anywhere in time and space? Oh, Susan, don't be ridiculous! Oh, Christ, stiff as Scotchman's wallet! But you are one of us.
You look like us.
You sound like us.
I was born in the 49th century.
ALARM BELL RINGS Oh Covers! Get the covers! Everybody out.
Am I on yet? Anyone? I've done me teeth.
Wish I knew what bloody dimension I was in.
Hello? Hello? Anyone? TV: No, my child, we both know we cannot let our secret loose into the world of the 20th century.
But you can't keep them prisoner here! He can't keep us prisoners anywhere.
I cannot let you go, schoolteacher.
Whether you believe what you have been told is of no importance.
You and your companion would be footprints in a time we were not supposed to walk.
If I have to use force to get out of here, I will, you know.
Maybe we've stumbled on something beyond our understanding.
Oh, why did you come here, why?! Grandfather, no! No, you don't! Oh, stop it! Let him go! Let me go! DOCTOR WHO THEME PLAYS Let's go to lunch.
Not hungry? Don't seem to have much of an appetite.
Not surprised.
I should fire the pair of you.
Right.
Take out the reference to the future time they've come from.
The 49th Century? Too specific.
It's Doctor Who, remember.
And the old guy's too nasty.
He should be cuter.
Funnier.
And the kid needs to be cheeky too.
Like a regular teenager.
Did you like any of it? Not much.
Hate the opening titles.
You're joking? Too weird.
It's sensational! Just because it's new.
Hey! Hey! I like new.
I do new, remember?! It's too scary for the kids.
I-I thought we were trying to scare them.
Scare them, not traumatise them! Change it.
Over my dead body.
It can be arranged.
It'll cost.
And they'll crucify me for it.
What? Do the whole thing again.
I'm not right for the part.
Bill Just not right for it.
It It isn't me.
Bill! Isn't me at all! Listen to me.
Sydney thought it was good.
He's over the moon! I let you down.
You let me down? You were right.
You were so right.
Look, we've made the Doctor too abrasive.
We need much more of you in him.
Much more charm and warmth and twinkle.
You knew it, I couldn't see it.
You sure you've got the right man? Of course I am.
I'm-I'm frightened, you see, I'venever really done anything like this before.
Thepressure, the schedule and all those ruddy words I'm here for you, Bill.
Promise? Every step.
Right I've got to tell the others now.
Time and tide wait for no man, eh? Time and space, Bill.
And they wait for no woman either.
I'm not hindering you.
If you both want to make fools of yourselves, I suggest you do what you said you'd do.
Go and find a policeman.
Clear three, clear three.
Move to shot two.
Tighter on two.
I shall be here when you get back.
I want to see your faces when you try and explain Tighter on one.
.
.
Chesserman Chesterton.
He got the name wrong.
He got the name wrong.
Can we go back? Can we go back? We've already stopped recording three times.
Only one more edit allowed, son.
Thank you, Mervyn.
Four edits in the whole show! It's so bloody primitive! Young man speak truth! BBC equipment from Stone Age! We have no choice, do we? Onwards, Waris.
Onwards! OK, stand by one Oh, no, Grandfather! No! Let me through.
Get back to the ship, child! It could be anywhere.
Dear, dear, dear, dear.
It's of no help to us at all.
I suggest before we go outside and explore, let us clean ourselves up.
Oh, yes.
What does the radiation read, Susan? It's reading normal, Grandfather.
DOCTOR WHO THEME PLAYS OK.
Good.
I'll tell them we can make the transmission date.
How are the other scripts coming along? Your Canadian pal is doing us one about Marco Polo.
Terrific! That's more like my brief.
Get the kids hooked on real history.
We're also trying one of Tony Hancock's writers - Terry Nation.
You got a script? Yes.
It's good.
What's it about? Robots.
No, no, no.
They're not robots.
Rule one - no robots! Rule two No bug-eyed monsters! I know.
But I promise you they're not.
It's a really interesting story.
Set on a distant planet after a nuclear war OK, OK.
Whatever.
Send it straight up to me.
Then we'll see.
This time in a few of weeks, episode one will have aired.
Hm.
Brave heart, darling.
I think we'll be a smash.
Fingers crossed.
We could do with a bit of luck.
SHE SIGHS BLEEPING "Hideous machine-like creatures "A lens on a flexible shaft "acts as an eye? "You will move ahead of us and follow my directions! "Ian breaks away and dashes for it "Exterminate!" GUNSHOT AND SCREAMING "Exterminate!" 'It is with deep regret that we announce 'that President Kennedy is dead.
'He was shot down as he was driving in an open car 'through the city of Dallas, Texas.
'The identity of the assassin remains unconfirmed at this time.
' DOCTOR WHO THEME PLAYS It was very good, Bill.
'And now we return to the news.
'Vice President Lyndon Johnson was yesterday sworn in 'as the 36th President of the United States 'following the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy in Da' They'll all be watching the news.
She's way over budget.
No, no - it's more than that.
I'm afraid Miss Lambert doesn't know what she's doing.
First cavemen, now these silly robots.
What are you saying? That you're not to do any more than these four episodes you've already got in production.
Kill it, Sydney.
Kill Doctor Who.
BILL: In the village where I lived down there WARIS: Reviews were respectable.
VERITY: Uh-huh.
Ratings too.
Respectable.
Considering what happened.
Mm.
KNOCK AT DOOR Sydney wants to see you, Verity.
WARIS SIGHS It's my fault.
I promoted you too soon.
I don't much like the way the show's going.
First, goddamn cavemen No choice, the And then theseDayleks.
Daleks.
Exactly what I wanted to avoid.
Cheapjack science fiction trash.
Have you read the script? Yes! Really? Well, enough to know garbage when I see it.
Jesus.
Dorloks.
Daleks! Whatever! Bug-eyed They're not bug-eyed monsters! They used to be like us.
Radiation has made them retreat inside these impregnable metal shells, and now they hate everything that isn't like them.
All they know how to do is lash out.
The Doctor and his friends turn up and try to make them see differently.
To understand other people and make peace.
It's good stuff! It's strong stuff, Sydney, and I really, truly believe in it.
Well, I wanted someone with piss and vinegar.
I think we've got something really special here, Sydney.
A knockout.
We've just got to hold our nerve.
OK.
OK.
I'll talk to the high-ups.
And I want a repeat.
What? On Saturday.
Repeat episode one before episode two.
No-one was watching because of the assassination.
Oh, I see! This is Kennedy's fault? We deserve a fair crack of the whip, Sydney.
You'd better be right about theseDaleks.
Let me be very clear, young lady.
Your neck's on the block.
Come on, get a move on.
It's like a rabbit hutch in here.
OK, are you nice and snug? What the hell's that? Monster for the next story.
What, a sink plunger and an egg whisk? Oh, well.
If they can't take over the universe, might be able whip up a decent omelette.
Roll to record in 15, 14 Quiet, please, everyone.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four Action! SHE YELPS DALEK: You will move ahead of us and follow my directions.
DIRECTOR: 'On two.
' Immediately! 'Tighter on one.
' No, tighter! Stand by, one.
'On one.
'Near three.
'Stand by, two.
'Two.
' DALEK: I said immediately! Fire! WEAPON FIRED My legs! DIRECTOR: On two.
My legs! DALEK: Your legs are paralysed.
You will recover shortly unless you force us to use our weapons again.
Well, everyone, meet the Daleks.
Gosh, they're creepy, aren't they? They're actually really creepy.
DALEK CONTINUES SPEAKING ON MONITOR Michael! Dennis! Your tea's getting cold.
And that thing you wanted to watch, it's on! DALEK VOICES EMANATING FROM TV THE DOCTOR: Why? Because we weren't aware of it until it was too late, that's why.
DALEK: The truth is that your supply of drugs has failed and you came into the city to see if you could find more.
Thals? What are you talking about? We're not Thals, or whatever you may call them.
Can't you see we're very ill? You and your companions need a drug to stay alive.
We have no gloves.
Drugs.
You said "gloves".
Eh? Yes, yes.
II did.
Because the Daleks are nasty and you need special gloves to touch them.
Y-y-yes.
Yes.
You know things like that because you're Doctor Who.
That'sthat's right.
Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! You will be my prisoner! You won't believe what I saw on the bus this morning.
It'sthrilling.
Sydney wants you, Verity.
Ten million viewers for your bug-eyed monsters.
Ten million.
So What do I know about anything? Well done, kid.
A bus? What were you doing on a bus? Getting in touch with our audience.
Our great, big, fat, enormous bloody audience.
THEY SCREAM AND LAUGH Whoo-hoo! HE CHEERS Walking back to happiness Woopah, oh, yeah-yeah Said goodbye to loneliness Quickly, child! We're running out of time! Check the fornicator! Fault locator.
LAUGHTER OK, I think we'd better hold it there, please.
First positions again.
Verity.
Verity! Look at this.
Just look at this.
General De Gaulle.
"DeGaullek"! That's wonderful! "No! No! No!" We've really got something here.
They love us.
Lovely stuff, this, you know.
Shame it's not in colour.
Come on, how much have I won? Ah 35 elephants, 4,000 white stallions, 25 tigers And ten bob, you old devil.
Right, make-up are nearly done with Kublai Khan's digits, so we'd best press on.
What do you think? WHISTLES OF APPRECIATION Wow.
Very swish.
Do you like it? Gorgeous, Carol.
I wonder if they'll let me buy it.
It'll turn a few heads on the Kings Road.
Oh, God.
Something the matter, Bill? You should be more careful, sweetheart, throwing your money around like that.
It's an insecure profession, you know.
We should all bear that in mind.
Fancy anything at Newmarket, Bill? You know what I mean.
I'm just saying.
Splashing out on new togs all the time, you don't know you're bloody born! I'm not a child.
I'll spend it how I like.
You're right, of course, Bill.
None of us knows how long this is going to last.
No-one's irreplaceable.
Who told you that? Everyone mentions it.
So, you didn't go to RADA? Roedean, darling.
Eh? The girls' school.
Must have been a typo on my CV.
I've not got the heart to tell Sydney.
Bill, thank you so much for the flowers.
Sorry to see you go, son.
So, what's next for you? I've been offered A Passage To India.
One-way? Bill, I hope you never change.
Bill, Bill, come on.
Quiet, please, everybody.
Oh, yes.
Bit of hush, ladies and gents.
Sure you won't stay? Do some more with us? Pastures new.
It's been a bloody blast, Verity.
Couldn't have done it without you, darling.
Shoulder-to-shoulder.
I saw you interfering with some dials only last night, so I've decided to show you all the things that you mustn't touch under any circumstances.
Exterminate, exterminate! What the bloody hell?! Hello, my darling.
What do you think? "Thrills galore.
"Full-size, real-life Dalek playsuit from the BBC TV series Doctor Who.
" Strike a light! "Only 66 shillings and sixpence.
" LAUGHTER And we have these.
Goodness! Man and boy, I've been at this lark.
But I've never known anything like it.
Incredible.
No-one's irreplaceable, eh? So much for softly-softly.
At this rate, you'll be running the place.
"Dear Uncle Who.
" Uncle Who! "I've got my "physics O-level coming up and I need your help.
" I don't know why they think I can help them.
It's all gobbledygook to me.
Please.
Doctor Who, can I please have your autograph? Now, then, what's this? An autograph? Teacher said it would be all right.
Well, that must make you a very special little boy, um Alan.
Thank you.
Please, Doctor? Yes, what is it, um (Alan.
) What is it, Alan? Please, when are them Daleks coming back? Daleks? They're taking over the ruddy world.
It's what they do best, isn't it? Oh! CHILDREN: Wow! Oh, wow! Goodness me! Come along, come along.
Keep up! We must all get back to the TARDIS.
What's this? What's this? Look out! What?! Look out! Run, run! Exterminate! Exterminate! CHILDREN SCREAM Take three.
Cut! Cut! Right, one more, please.
Quick as you can.
Len, you were nearly off the kerb.
Why is it we always seem to have to go again because of YOU? I need a wee, don't I? You try being in here.
Reset, let's go again! It's not my fault! Bill.
Bill, I thought I might try something when I'm carrying you down the ramp.
What? I thought maybe I just throw a look towards you, showing the Roboman's inner turmoil.
You know, I was a man once sort of thing, before the Daleks made me like this.
What do you think? Don't be so bloody ridiculous.
It was just a suggestion.
Yes, well, stow it.
What's up with you? Mind your own business.
Oi, Len! Over here! It's not too late, you know.
No, I've made up my mind.
They can rewrite this stuff in a shot.
It's time to move on, Bill.
There's lots of other things I want to do.
Well, of course.
And there's more to life than just screaming at nasty monsters.
That's no way to talk about me.
THE DOCTOR: One day, I shall come back.
Yes, I shall come back.
Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties.
Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.
Goodbye, Susan.
Goodbye, my dear.
That's lovely, Bill.
Really lovely.
Doesn't like farewells, does he? Just stepping off for a minute, Waris.
Waris? He's been doing that a lot lately.
That's it.
Look over towards Bill, Maureen.
That's it.
Smile over here, please.
Big smile! ALL: Cheers! Cheers! One more.
One more! Just look at Bill.
DOG BARKS You look all-in.
Mm.
Come on, love.
Why don't you get your head down? We can go through this in the morning.
No, no.
Got to get 'em in.
Got to.
Maybe it's time you thought about moving on, love.
Moving on? You're shattered all the time.
I can't! Even if I wanted to.
They're all relying on me.
Hundreds of people, aren't they? And all those kiddies out there.
You can't have Doctor Who without Doctor Who, can you? Come on.
Vortis? What galaxy is that in? (It's the Isop Galaxy.
) The Isop Galaxy, Chesterton.
It's many Many.
.
.
manylight years Awayaway.
OWL HOOTS COUGHING DALEK: 'He is becoming delirious.
I do not understand his words.
' 'He is becoming delirious.
I do not understand his words.
' Bill mustn't know I've spoken to you.
He'd play merry hell.
What's the matter? Our GP rang.
Bill's not very well.
Oh, dear.
Nothing serious? Not in the short-term.
It's, um erarteriosclerosis.
It's a hardening of the arteries.
I see.
He smokes too much.
Drinks too much.
And these days, the only exercise he gets is walking the dog.
That, plus doing Doctor Who virtually all year Do you think he should stop? No.
No, he couldn't bear that.
He loves the programme.
He's so proud of it.
And all of you.
You should hear him.
But if there's anything you can do to lift the burden from his shoulders, you know, let him slow down a little.
WellI'll have a quiet word with my successor.
Oh.
Oh.
I see.
Vortis? What galaxy is that in? The Isop Galaxy, Chesterfield.
Chesterton! Many, many light earths light years from us.
Fromfrom Earth.
And yet theVortis Vortis planet hasn't a moon.
Hm? Eh? DIRECTOR: Right, hold it there, please! All this stuff, I can do it with a look.
Bill, I really think we should stick with what's on the page.
Verity.
I can do all this with a look, you know.
I don't need all these lines.
It's like ruddy King Lear! I remember Lindsay Anderson saying the same thing about me on Sporting Life.
He just ripped a couple of pages out of the script.
"Bill can do all this with a gesture," you see.
"A raised eyebrow.
" Do you see what I mean? Of course.
Bless you.
Actually, I'm glad to have the chance to talk to you, Bill You're my rock, Verity.
Oh You know that.
My rock.
I don't know about that Since that day you first started telling me about Doctor Who, I've been spellbound.
Spellbound! But look at us now, eh? Just look at us! Our arses are in butter! What did you want to tell me? LAUGHTER .
.
Which, of course, was her way of saying take a hike! So, I am justifiably proud of myself.
I can spot talent light years away.
Ladies and gentlemen, Verity.
Best goddamn appointment I've ever made.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Verity! ALL: For she's a jolly good fellow For she's a jolly good fellow For she's a jolly good fellow And so say all of us! And so say all of us! And so say all of us! For she's a jolly good fellow For she's a jolly good fellow For she's a jolly good fellow And so say all of us.
Not joining us? Perhaps in a minute.
Bill, I wanted to say thank you.
For everything you've done.
I'm in demand and it's all down to you.
Oh, nonsense.
In no small measure, Bill.
Doctor Who has made me.
But why does it have to change? Why do things always have to change? Why can't we just go on as we are? Life.
What about you? Not ready for a rest? Me? No.
No.
Not a bit.
This old body of mine is good for a few years yet! SHE SIGHS I'm going to miss all this.
You've got, erm Oh.
Let me.
What am I going to do without you? Till we meet again.
That's it.
Everybody ready? Smile! Mr Purves Jackie Look at each other.
That's it.
Lovely! Peter, give us a smile.
Lovely.
All right, when you're ready, Bill.
Mr Hartnell to you, sonny.
Sorry.
You might call me by my first name if we get to know each other better.
If you if you last on my show, that is.
Can we go from the top of the scene, Mr Hartnell? You make the TV screen come on.
The scanner.
Scanner, right.
And then you flick the switch and the doors open.
No, no.
Can't do that.
Beg pardon? I'd have to move round to the other side.
That's where the door switch is.
Does it matter? Of course it matters! All right.
We'll work around it.
You move where you like Mr Hartnell.
Thank you.
I will.
OK.
Top of the scene, then.
The glass cylinder should be going up and down.
The ship is in flight.
Right.
Yes.
Sorry.
Well? Sorry.
Be right with you.
Anybody know how to make it go? For Christ's sake! Doesn't anyone know how to do anything? Out you go, out, out.
I'll sort it myself.
HE BREATHES HEAVILY Red light, and bell.
BELL RINGS Roll to record.
In 15, 14 Quiet, please, everyone.
OK, everyone ready? Ready now.
There's a Ten .
.
a lot of people dancing about in my eyeline.
It's very off-putting.
Do you mind? Thank youfive, four Nowthey've all gone.
All gone.
None of them ever understood.
Not even young Susan, or .
.
or V-V-Vicki.
And then there's Barbara and Chatterton Ch-Ch-Chesterton! (Oh, God.
) Perhaps I should go back to my own time.
To my own planet.
But I I can't I can't Is everything OK? I, erI can't Are you all right? I I can't Mr Hartnell? I, er Mr Hartnell? Anneke! Anneke, turn to me, love.
Turn to me.
Thanks, love.
I could get used to this.
How about you? As you can see Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
It can't go on.
He's become so difficult to work with.
And his lines I hear you! The poor man's worn out.
Shame.
Goddamn shame.
So, that's that, I suppose.
What do you mean? Well, we can't have Doctor Who without Doctor Who, can we? Pop, pop, pop.
Sampa! Sampa! Sampa! Oh, hello there.
Where are you going to take the TARDIS next, Sampa? Oh, I don't know, darling.
Miss says you should go back in time and see Oliver Cromwell and tell him not to be so horrible.
Yes, maybe I should.
But I want the butterfly men to come back! They were pretty.
We did them at school and I was a Zarbi.
Listen, Judi They could have a big fight with the Daleks and you could fly on their backs with a bow and arrow.
Listen, darling.
You mustn't expect too much from your old grandfather, you know.
I get very tired these days and, er Graham Potter says the TARDIS will run out of petrol soon.
I need to take things a bit easier.
But I told him he was stupid.
The TARDIS will go on and on for ever because it's special and magic.
Like my Sampa.
Well, I My Sampa's Doctor Who and he can do anything.
I hope you don't think it presumptuous of me to ask for this meeting, Sydney Presumptuous? Hell, no, Bill.
I was going to ask you to come in, as it happens.
Oh, yes? Yeah.
Yeah.
Things Things can't go on the way they are.
Exactly! Exactly, Sydney! I'm committed to Doctor Who, 100% committed, but .
.
well, I need more time off.
Bloody schedule would kill a man half my age.
A-ha.
All those lines they give me.
The kiddies don't want to hear all that waffle.
But perhaps it would be best if the writers just sort of sketched in the story and left me to make up the rest.
No, no.
That's probably a step too far.
But you take my meaning.
I'm the star of the show.
I'm the Doctor.
And, er, if we're to continue, you have to take account of that.
Proper account.
We've got great plans for Doctor Who, Bill, believe you me.
Great plans.
Well, I'm, er We're 100% committed too.
Very glad to hear it.
But we're looking at ways of refreshing it.
Umregenerating it.
Well, yes.
Quite right.
Spice things up a bit.
Bill I'm glad we're on the same wavelength anyway.
Ah, hell, Bill, there's no easy way of saying this.
Um We want Doctor Who to go on.
Yes.
But not with you.
Like you said, things have got to change.
I see.
Whowho have you got in mind? You're a hard act to follow, Bill.
No need for soft soap, Sydney.
You know me better.
Who? You approve? Oh, yes, yes, quite.
Patrick Troughton.
Excellent choice.
I'm so sorry, Bill.
"Fortune, good night, smile once more, turn thy wheel.
" Huh? King Lear.
I did it once.
Carried a spear.
Long time ago.
Long, long time ago.
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH Everything all right, sir? Are you OK? You need to move along now, sir.
Sir? HE KNOCKS ON DOOR You're in the way.
I'm sorry, sir, but 'Ere, aren't you? I'm, er, sorry, very sorry, officer.
You're him, aren't you? Very sorry, officer.
You're Doctor Who.
Wait till I tell the kids.
They bloomin' love you! Well, it's, er, been agreed by, um by mutual consent that I should, erpack it in.
Er Oh, right.
Give it up.
I see.
WellI think it's for the best, love.
Truly, I do.
You can't go on like this.
And I've made my mark.
Shown everyone I can do it.
I'm sure it'll lead to lots more interesting stuff, hm? Yes.
Well, I'll make us a nice cup of tea.
II I don't want to go.
TEARFULLY: II don't want to go.
Oh Oh, Bill.
HE SOBS HE CLEARS HIS THROA Well, then.
Who's Who? HE CHUCKLES I won't lie to you.
I'm scared stiff.
Oh, you'll be fine.
In fact, you'll be wonderful.
II told them, you know, there's only one man in England who can take over.
Oh? Couldn't they get him? LAUGHTER Red light, and bell.
BELL RINGS OK, positions, everyone, please.
And roll to record in 15 METALLIC THRUMMING 'I want you to belong somewhere, to have roots of your own.
'With David, you'll be able to find those roots, 'live normally, like any woman should do.
'Believe me, my dear, your future lies with David 'and not with a silly old buffer like me.
'One day, I shall come back.
Yes, I shall come back.
'Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties.
'Just go forward in all your beliefs 'and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.
' This is your debut in pantomime.
Do you see your future in pantomime? No, no.
What qualities are there in pantomime that you feel you haven't got? It's a different technique which lends itself only to what I call a variety type of actor, the actor who is used to playing on his own in a front cloth, which is a variety actor.
But I'm not.
I'm legitimate.
I'm a legitimate character actor.
It was kind of a strange thing to do after the show, but there were so many kids, I suppose, who wanted to see the character again and I remember just being in the audience when all the kids go up to the front and he threw sweets out to the children, and I remember catching his eye and catching a sweet.
My memories of him are really muddled up with Doctor Who.
The character that we saw on the television screen was my grandfather.
I think he came to love playing the Doctor.
But it so much captured the public imagination.
I know it did, yes.
Do you think you'll ever shake it off? Oh, yeah.
How? Of course.
By making a success in something else.
SHE CHUCKLES Why do you think children like you? Because you're rather a grumpy sort of person.
They find me a cross between the Wizard of Oz and Father Christmas, you know.
He was a grumpy old man.
We were rehearsing and something happened and he went totally and they cancelled the rest of the rehearsal.
He came in the next day and he came in with three little posies of flowers for the ladies.
He obviously thought, "What can I take the chaps?" And he came in with a tin of biscuits.
I found that so moving, somehow.
It was his grumpy way of saying, "I'm sorry.
" The difficulty is asking an actor to play eccentric because then they start to be ACTING.
Bill Hartnell wasn't acting it.
He was just implicitly, in his own way, eccentric.
The whole thing about Bill was that he was so unpredictable.
You'd didn't know what he was going to do.
There was this mystery about him.
I knew he wasn't well when he was working with me.
You could really see the stress and strain on him.
I discovered later that he had really been suffering from something which caused him to have memory loss.
I was very sad that he left the show.
That must have been an absolute body blow to him.
Oh, so you're my replacements.
A dandy and a clown.
When they decided to make the 10th anniversary programme, my grandfather had deteriorated quite a lot.
He was not fully aware of how poorly he was.
Barry Letts, my producer, and I contacted Patrick Troughton and he rang up William Hartnell and William Hartnell was very keen too.
He said, "Yes, yes, be very happy to do it, love to do it.
" I believe my grandmother had to intervene and say, "Look, he's not really well enough to cope with learning lines "and all that," but they devised a way to make it possible.
There were prompt boards in front of him for every line and somebody would hold it up and Billy would say the line and then there would be another line and another line.
Yes, well, the party's over now.
You young men and I go back to our time zones.
Though, considering the way things have been going, well, I shudder to think what you will do without me.
I think Doctor Who gave him the opportunity to spread his wings, to be childlike and to expand and to play around with the eccentricity and the wonder of it all.
It's clear that he actually loved it.
The funny thing to think of is that up until the point Patrick Troughton took over, there was only a Doctor.
He is the original.
The legacy of the way that he established the Doctor is still with us.
Absolutely nobody else has been anything like him.
A magic, a mystery.
You were never quite sure what was going to happen next with him.
Those of us who watched him over those first three years, even though he was grumpy and rather distant, he was still our Doctor.
The fact that Doctor Who is still being made today, as we speak extraordinary, really.
I think it's a testament to William's Doctor and I'm very proud to be part of it.
I think he would be so tickled pink that the character he helped create is still thrilling audiences today.
He'd have been so, so thrilled by that.