Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989) s03e03 Episode Script
Doogie Has Left the Building (2)
Guess what? We're getting an apartment together.
Previously on doogie howser m.
D Where do I sign? Liberation.
Liberation.
We have the results on the potential donors.
There were no matches.
You're giving him a 20,000 to 1 shot? She's giving birth to one child while she's losing another.
We need the umbilical cord and placenta.
Any particular reason? Well, I've got to check a few facts.
I think I'm on to something.
What are the risks? The most serious is rejection And of course the toxic dose of chemotherapy and radiation.
Perhaps we should discontinue treatment and let him die with dignity.
We don't know.
Help us.
I'd go for it.
You eat in the bathroom.
You floss in the living room.
I'm moving out.
Oh, no.
I'm moving out.
We just moved in next door.
Can it work? It'll work.
No, no, no, no.
I cannot agree to that.
I might just as well move back with my parents.
You can't go any lower on the evolutionary scale than eating in the bathroom.
I'm giving up flossing in front of the television.
Talk about your sick habits.
All those disgusting strings laying around.
At least I'm promoting good dental hygiene.
Fine, fine.
O.
K.
Agreed.
So where did we leave off? "We, the undersigned, Douglas howser and Vincent delpino, "hereby agree to abide by the following apartment bill of rights.
" Blah, blah "32 finish the roll, replace the roll.
"33 no eating of spicy foods after 8 P.
M.
"34 flossing in bathroom only, eating anywhere but bathroom.
" O.
K.
Fine.
Fine.
However When entertaining for the entire evening If you catch my drift The other sleeps on the couch.
It could happen.
Fine.
Yeah.
That should about cover it.
See? We're reasonable people, vin.
We just had to set down a few simple guidelines to make living together work.
You're right.
Our sacred dream's back on track.
Absolutely.
That must be my folks.
Doog, the girlie mags.
Oh, jeez Oh, man, the anniversary issue's still in the bathroom.
Wait a minute.
Doogie? We have nothing to be ashamed of.
This is why we moved out in the first place To set our own rules, run our own lives.
Yeah.
Good point.
Leaving these out is like a political statement.
Yeah.
Miss September hides from no one.
Doogie, honey, it's mom and dad.
It's nice.
Very nice And sunny.
Mm-hmm.
Sunny.
Oh, I almost forgot.
This is for you and Vinnie.
Oh, thanks, mom.
Um, I'm going to check on Vinnie in the kitchen.
Why don't you all just have a seat and Sure.
Sure.
Oh, my couch.
No.
Not anymore, dear.
David? Hmm? What is that? I believe it's, uh, pepperoni.
My god.
This place is even worse than I imagined.
Katherine, we've talked about this.
We have to let go.
He has to take care of himself.
Who's thirsty? Cheese and crackers, Mrs.
h? Very delicious.
It doesn't get any fresher than that.
Next week we're going to try the new aerosol gorgonzola.
I'll wait till then.
Suit yourself.
I propose a toast to, uh, to Douglas and Vincent and their new apartment.
Here's wishing you all the best.
Thanks, dad.
Um, would you all excuse me? Sure.
Oh, um, first door on your right, Mrs.
h.
Make yourself comfy.
So, dad It's hard to believe we're this grown-up, huh? Ha.
Yeah.
Yeah, it sure is.
It seems like only yesterday you were struggling with puberty, hiding playboys under the mattress and all that.
O.
K.
, will, you're all set.
Dr.
howser should be in any minute.
Remember, this shouldn't hurt at all, but tomorrow you'll probably feel a little sick.
I remember.
He's upset about his hair falling out again.
Mom Hey, it'll grow back.
I promise.
Just like last time.
Excuse me.
Which of you is will Stevens? I am.
Oh.
Hi.
I need to ask you one question.
Who is your favorite basketball player? Michael Jordan.
How did I know? Check this out.
Pretty great, huh? Now, what do you notice about Mr.
Jordan here? I don't know.
He's dunking? Yeah, but what else? He's sweating? What else? He's got no hair.
That's right.
And he's still the coolest player on the planet.
And now So are you.
Here.
Try it on.
I was clownin' in class like I usually do Girls on the ticket, ain't nothin' new Haven't hit a book since I don't know when Looks like a cram session's 'bout to begin Everyone's sweatin' 'cause finals are here But I'm gettin' real sleepy 'cause summer's near I started my own countdown, it's in effect But just one week till, yo, I jet Gotta get up, gotta get up Gotta get down Long bomb! Get it, get it, get it! Foul! Foul! Foul! No, no, no.
This one's mine.
Tune in, move on Yeah, yeah Bust out There you go.
Buy yourself somethin' nice.
Okay, who'd like to go next? Cpr can save a life.
How about you? No, no, no, no, no, you in the back.
Who, me? Yeah, come here for a minute.
Hey! Got summer fever, can't pay attention Girls in bikinis make me lose direction One more tardy and I'm on suspension Was spotted at the beach, and now I'm in detention Can't be doin' time 'cause I'll lose my tan Summer school's not in the master plan Got places to go, my homeys and me And wherever we are will be the place to "g" Gotta get up, gotta get up Gotta get down Time to go out and have some fun Tune in, move on Bust out Got to break away from this day-to-day Got to get away On a summer vacation Tune in, move on Two incredibly hip guys on the prowl.
The sacred dream lives, vin.
Hey, doog.
Glad you're home.
I need help feeding the masses.
Mr.
Jenkins, this was a potluck barbecue.
What did you contribute? I'm letting you live here, delpino.
His burger fell in the coals.
What'll you have? Burger's fine.
Coming up.
So how's it going? Are you kidding? This place is heaven.
Our lives are like a beer commercial.
Yeah.
It's great.
It's been pretty crazy at the hospital lately.
You know that kid I told you about with leukemia? Well, um, he's doing that new procedure tomorrow.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Anyway, today was his last day of chemo.
His blood count's real low.
Chances are if this doesn't work Marty! Burger's ready.
Oh, sorry.
Here.
Thanks, man.
Rare or medium, doog? You know, I'm not really that hungry, vin.
I'm going to go back to the hospital.
Hey, Lorenzo, you want mustard on this baby? Hi.
How you doin'? If you had to choose between a Ferrari and a lamborghini, which would you choose? Doogie, am I gonna die? Well, you're here now.
And you're a fighter.
And I promise that we are going to do everything we possibly can to help you get better.
Okay? Okay.
Smell this.
Oh.
Good morning to you, too.
Uh, dear, do you see these little numbers here? They're actually a code that is based upon our calendar system of days and months.
You see this number here? That refers to Somehow I don't think you've gotten my point.
Yet somehow, I think you've gotten mine.
All I want is a little fresh milk for coffee.
Is that asking too much? Maybe I'm used to buying for three, not two.
Besides, you know where the store is.
There's no milk.
It's sour.
Can always buy new milk, but not new marriage.
This is a personal conversation.
Mrs.
howser and I are more than capable of working out our differences by ourselves.
Why explain it to you? Cry for help.
Empty nest syndrome.
I've seen it happen many times.
Two people live for child, give everything to child.
Child leaves, people forget how to just be with each other.
End up arguing about sour milk.
Shouldn't you be mulching or something? Let him talk, David.
Thank you, Katy.
Couple down the street Son off to college.
Big, empty house.
Bigger than yours.
A lot bigger.
The point, the point? Divorced.
House up for sale.
Couple down the other street.
Medium house, but big affairs.
They're discreet, but I find out.
Pathetic.
You're really wasted in landscaping, aren't you? Wait.
It doesn't have to turn out that way.
Always hope.
Take my wife and me.
We move on to empty nest, stage two.
Stage two? Every room a bedroom.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Will's ready to go.
Incredible, huh? Half cup of this stuff could save his life.
Or it could kill him.
This is my baby brother's blood.
He's going to help me get better.
Cool brother.
Good evening, Katherine.
Hi.
I didn't hear you come in.
I have something for you.
David, you shouldn't have.
When it comes from the heart, say it with low-fat.
Hi, guys.
Great news Will Stevens had no trouble with his transfusion.
No hint of a reaction.
That's fantastic.
That's terrific, son.
We still have to wait a few weeks to see if it's engrafting, but I'm so jazzed.
I really think he's going to make it.
I was sweating it out, but I couldn't show it because I'm the one who suggested going for it.
I can imagine it was a difficult recommendation, son.
Yeah, you ain't kidding.
We're really happy for you, honey.
Thanks, mom.
I don't think I've slept at all the last few days.
You do look like you could use some rest.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to crash upstairs.
See you in the morning.
Whoa.
What happened to my room? So, what do you think? I think you've turned my room into Barbie's playhouse.
Doogie, you moved out.
This isn't your room anymore.
I don't believe this.
The body isn't even cold yet.
Doog.
Where have you been? What's going on? Tonight's the r.
E.
M.
Concert on mtv.
Remember? We planned this last week.
Hi, doogie.
This is my friend Sandra.
Yeah, she's pre-med.
You two can talk shop, maybe bone up on some body parts.
Vinnie Nice to meet you, doogie.
Nice to meet you, too.
Will you ladies excuse us, please? Huh? Huh? Premed? Later you can quiz her on the essential organs.
Hurry up.
Slip into something comfortable.
Hey, Janine, you girls want something to eat? Vinnie, we got to talk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Later.
Go change.
What? You want to give up the apartment 'cause you're having too much fun? No it's too hard deciding when to stop having fun.
No part of me can comprehend your desire to crawl back home.
We got everything we ever wanted right here.
Maybe that's the problem too many choices.
What does that mean? Don't get me wrong, vin.
All this freedom's great, but it's another kind of responsibility.
You know? I'm an 18-year-old doctor.
I've got enough responsibility already.
I realized another thing tonight.
I get something from my parents that I guess I still need, that I don't get anywhere else.
What, free room and board? Your socks folded? They listen.
They're there for me.
Doog, I'm here.
I'm listening.
It's not the same, vin.
I can't explain it.
Oh, man.
We had it, doog.
The sacred dream right in the palm of our hand.
Now it's gone forever.
Not gone, vin.
Just on hold.
You realize we're facing certain public humiliation here.
I mean, what do we tell people when they ask why we left? Well, just tell them the truth.
Say we weren't ready to be on our own.
Say we needed the security of home.
Tell them that we were a couple of wild men who got evicted.
Perfect.
Hi, doogie.
Hi, will.
There's someone here who wants to meet you.
Hi, will.
I'd like you to meet your new baby brother.
This is Jake.
Ohh, yes.
Previously on doogie howser m.
D Where do I sign? Liberation.
Liberation.
We have the results on the potential donors.
There were no matches.
You're giving him a 20,000 to 1 shot? She's giving birth to one child while she's losing another.
We need the umbilical cord and placenta.
Any particular reason? Well, I've got to check a few facts.
I think I'm on to something.
What are the risks? The most serious is rejection And of course the toxic dose of chemotherapy and radiation.
Perhaps we should discontinue treatment and let him die with dignity.
We don't know.
Help us.
I'd go for it.
You eat in the bathroom.
You floss in the living room.
I'm moving out.
Oh, no.
I'm moving out.
We just moved in next door.
Can it work? It'll work.
No, no, no, no.
I cannot agree to that.
I might just as well move back with my parents.
You can't go any lower on the evolutionary scale than eating in the bathroom.
I'm giving up flossing in front of the television.
Talk about your sick habits.
All those disgusting strings laying around.
At least I'm promoting good dental hygiene.
Fine, fine.
O.
K.
Agreed.
So where did we leave off? "We, the undersigned, Douglas howser and Vincent delpino, "hereby agree to abide by the following apartment bill of rights.
" Blah, blah "32 finish the roll, replace the roll.
"33 no eating of spicy foods after 8 P.
M.
"34 flossing in bathroom only, eating anywhere but bathroom.
" O.
K.
Fine.
Fine.
However When entertaining for the entire evening If you catch my drift The other sleeps on the couch.
It could happen.
Fine.
Yeah.
That should about cover it.
See? We're reasonable people, vin.
We just had to set down a few simple guidelines to make living together work.
You're right.
Our sacred dream's back on track.
Absolutely.
That must be my folks.
Doog, the girlie mags.
Oh, jeez Oh, man, the anniversary issue's still in the bathroom.
Wait a minute.
Doogie? We have nothing to be ashamed of.
This is why we moved out in the first place To set our own rules, run our own lives.
Yeah.
Good point.
Leaving these out is like a political statement.
Yeah.
Miss September hides from no one.
Doogie, honey, it's mom and dad.
It's nice.
Very nice And sunny.
Mm-hmm.
Sunny.
Oh, I almost forgot.
This is for you and Vinnie.
Oh, thanks, mom.
Um, I'm going to check on Vinnie in the kitchen.
Why don't you all just have a seat and Sure.
Sure.
Oh, my couch.
No.
Not anymore, dear.
David? Hmm? What is that? I believe it's, uh, pepperoni.
My god.
This place is even worse than I imagined.
Katherine, we've talked about this.
We have to let go.
He has to take care of himself.
Who's thirsty? Cheese and crackers, Mrs.
h? Very delicious.
It doesn't get any fresher than that.
Next week we're going to try the new aerosol gorgonzola.
I'll wait till then.
Suit yourself.
I propose a toast to, uh, to Douglas and Vincent and their new apartment.
Here's wishing you all the best.
Thanks, dad.
Um, would you all excuse me? Sure.
Oh, um, first door on your right, Mrs.
h.
Make yourself comfy.
So, dad It's hard to believe we're this grown-up, huh? Ha.
Yeah.
Yeah, it sure is.
It seems like only yesterday you were struggling with puberty, hiding playboys under the mattress and all that.
O.
K.
, will, you're all set.
Dr.
howser should be in any minute.
Remember, this shouldn't hurt at all, but tomorrow you'll probably feel a little sick.
I remember.
He's upset about his hair falling out again.
Mom Hey, it'll grow back.
I promise.
Just like last time.
Excuse me.
Which of you is will Stevens? I am.
Oh.
Hi.
I need to ask you one question.
Who is your favorite basketball player? Michael Jordan.
How did I know? Check this out.
Pretty great, huh? Now, what do you notice about Mr.
Jordan here? I don't know.
He's dunking? Yeah, but what else? He's sweating? What else? He's got no hair.
That's right.
And he's still the coolest player on the planet.
And now So are you.
Here.
Try it on.
I was clownin' in class like I usually do Girls on the ticket, ain't nothin' new Haven't hit a book since I don't know when Looks like a cram session's 'bout to begin Everyone's sweatin' 'cause finals are here But I'm gettin' real sleepy 'cause summer's near I started my own countdown, it's in effect But just one week till, yo, I jet Gotta get up, gotta get up Gotta get down Long bomb! Get it, get it, get it! Foul! Foul! Foul! No, no, no.
This one's mine.
Tune in, move on Yeah, yeah Bust out There you go.
Buy yourself somethin' nice.
Okay, who'd like to go next? Cpr can save a life.
How about you? No, no, no, no, no, you in the back.
Who, me? Yeah, come here for a minute.
Hey! Got summer fever, can't pay attention Girls in bikinis make me lose direction One more tardy and I'm on suspension Was spotted at the beach, and now I'm in detention Can't be doin' time 'cause I'll lose my tan Summer school's not in the master plan Got places to go, my homeys and me And wherever we are will be the place to "g" Gotta get up, gotta get up Gotta get down Time to go out and have some fun Tune in, move on Bust out Got to break away from this day-to-day Got to get away On a summer vacation Tune in, move on Two incredibly hip guys on the prowl.
The sacred dream lives, vin.
Hey, doog.
Glad you're home.
I need help feeding the masses.
Mr.
Jenkins, this was a potluck barbecue.
What did you contribute? I'm letting you live here, delpino.
His burger fell in the coals.
What'll you have? Burger's fine.
Coming up.
So how's it going? Are you kidding? This place is heaven.
Our lives are like a beer commercial.
Yeah.
It's great.
It's been pretty crazy at the hospital lately.
You know that kid I told you about with leukemia? Well, um, he's doing that new procedure tomorrow.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Anyway, today was his last day of chemo.
His blood count's real low.
Chances are if this doesn't work Marty! Burger's ready.
Oh, sorry.
Here.
Thanks, man.
Rare or medium, doog? You know, I'm not really that hungry, vin.
I'm going to go back to the hospital.
Hey, Lorenzo, you want mustard on this baby? Hi.
How you doin'? If you had to choose between a Ferrari and a lamborghini, which would you choose? Doogie, am I gonna die? Well, you're here now.
And you're a fighter.
And I promise that we are going to do everything we possibly can to help you get better.
Okay? Okay.
Smell this.
Oh.
Good morning to you, too.
Uh, dear, do you see these little numbers here? They're actually a code that is based upon our calendar system of days and months.
You see this number here? That refers to Somehow I don't think you've gotten my point.
Yet somehow, I think you've gotten mine.
All I want is a little fresh milk for coffee.
Is that asking too much? Maybe I'm used to buying for three, not two.
Besides, you know where the store is.
There's no milk.
It's sour.
Can always buy new milk, but not new marriage.
This is a personal conversation.
Mrs.
howser and I are more than capable of working out our differences by ourselves.
Why explain it to you? Cry for help.
Empty nest syndrome.
I've seen it happen many times.
Two people live for child, give everything to child.
Child leaves, people forget how to just be with each other.
End up arguing about sour milk.
Shouldn't you be mulching or something? Let him talk, David.
Thank you, Katy.
Couple down the street Son off to college.
Big, empty house.
Bigger than yours.
A lot bigger.
The point, the point? Divorced.
House up for sale.
Couple down the other street.
Medium house, but big affairs.
They're discreet, but I find out.
Pathetic.
You're really wasted in landscaping, aren't you? Wait.
It doesn't have to turn out that way.
Always hope.
Take my wife and me.
We move on to empty nest, stage two.
Stage two? Every room a bedroom.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Will's ready to go.
Incredible, huh? Half cup of this stuff could save his life.
Or it could kill him.
This is my baby brother's blood.
He's going to help me get better.
Cool brother.
Good evening, Katherine.
Hi.
I didn't hear you come in.
I have something for you.
David, you shouldn't have.
When it comes from the heart, say it with low-fat.
Hi, guys.
Great news Will Stevens had no trouble with his transfusion.
No hint of a reaction.
That's fantastic.
That's terrific, son.
We still have to wait a few weeks to see if it's engrafting, but I'm so jazzed.
I really think he's going to make it.
I was sweating it out, but I couldn't show it because I'm the one who suggested going for it.
I can imagine it was a difficult recommendation, son.
Yeah, you ain't kidding.
We're really happy for you, honey.
Thanks, mom.
I don't think I've slept at all the last few days.
You do look like you could use some rest.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to crash upstairs.
See you in the morning.
Whoa.
What happened to my room? So, what do you think? I think you've turned my room into Barbie's playhouse.
Doogie, you moved out.
This isn't your room anymore.
I don't believe this.
The body isn't even cold yet.
Doog.
Where have you been? What's going on? Tonight's the r.
E.
M.
Concert on mtv.
Remember? We planned this last week.
Hi, doogie.
This is my friend Sandra.
Yeah, she's pre-med.
You two can talk shop, maybe bone up on some body parts.
Vinnie Nice to meet you, doogie.
Nice to meet you, too.
Will you ladies excuse us, please? Huh? Huh? Premed? Later you can quiz her on the essential organs.
Hurry up.
Slip into something comfortable.
Hey, Janine, you girls want something to eat? Vinnie, we got to talk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Later.
Go change.
What? You want to give up the apartment 'cause you're having too much fun? No it's too hard deciding when to stop having fun.
No part of me can comprehend your desire to crawl back home.
We got everything we ever wanted right here.
Maybe that's the problem too many choices.
What does that mean? Don't get me wrong, vin.
All this freedom's great, but it's another kind of responsibility.
You know? I'm an 18-year-old doctor.
I've got enough responsibility already.
I realized another thing tonight.
I get something from my parents that I guess I still need, that I don't get anywhere else.
What, free room and board? Your socks folded? They listen.
They're there for me.
Doog, I'm here.
I'm listening.
It's not the same, vin.
I can't explain it.
Oh, man.
We had it, doog.
The sacred dream right in the palm of our hand.
Now it's gone forever.
Not gone, vin.
Just on hold.
You realize we're facing certain public humiliation here.
I mean, what do we tell people when they ask why we left? Well, just tell them the truth.
Say we weren't ready to be on our own.
Say we needed the security of home.
Tell them that we were a couple of wild men who got evicted.
Perfect.
Hi, doogie.
Hi, will.
There's someone here who wants to meet you.
Hi, will.
I'd like you to meet your new baby brother.
This is Jake.
Ohh, yes.