Ducktales (1987) s01e59 Episode Script

Nothing to Fear

- Life is like a hurricane - Here in Duckburg - Racecars, lasers, airplanes - it's a duck-blur - Might solve a mystery - Or rewrite history - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - D-d-d-danger - Watch behind you - There's a stranger out to find you - What to do? Just grab on to some - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - Ooh-woo-ooh Not ponytails or cotton tails, no - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Ah! Quackaroonie! This is Frisbee-flinging weather if I ever saw it.
Well, according to Mrs.
Quackenbush, it's homework weather.
And we gotta have a report on gravity to drop on her by tomorrow morning.
Well, what better way to study gravity than by seeing how long our Frisbees can stay up in the air! - Now that's our kind of homework.
- Oh, yeah! [Wind howling.]
[Thunderclap.]
[Sighs.]
It never fails to rain right after one buffs one's limousine.
Well, the Frisbee match is rained out.
We might as well do our homework.
Right after Flash Mallard conquers the universe! - [Explosion.]
- Yay! [Man on TV.]
Blast off with Ducks of the Galaxy! [Nephews.]
Hooray! You are Flash Mallard, hero of the cosmos.
Naturally.
Fighting evil Commander Gander to save your universe, [Growling.]
If I didn't know better, I'd say the limo was growling at me.
[Growling.]
But then what do I know?! [Duckworth howls.]
[Growling.]
Boy, I'd hate to meet up with him on a dark planet.
Yeah, you said it.
- [Thunderclap.]
- [All howl.]
I'm afraid I jumped straight to level 12.
- There is no level 12.
- That's what I'm afraid of! What great special effects.
I hope we don't get blamed for this.
[All scream.]
Old Flash went flash! I think that means he lost.
Correction.
You all lost.
[All scream.]
The Ducks of the Galaxy have landed! I'm gonna conquer your puny little planet, starting with this puny little mansion.
[Cackling.]
- I'm eating in the rain - Just eating in the rain What do you know? - I'm eating again Wait! Stop! Don't do it! Who said that? P P Please, don't eat me.
Or I'll eat you! [Snarling.]
[Gasping.]
I'll never eat three banana splits in one day again, I promise! You'll never eat anything again.
[Screaming.]
I'm gonna turn you into a banana split.
With what kind of ice cream? [Banana snarls.]
[Screaming.]
Are you hiding from Commander Gander? No, I'm hiding from a big banana.
Oh, bother.
You're full up.
I'll be hiding in Mr.
McDuck's closet if anyone is looking for me.
Unless, of course, the limo is looking for me.
[Growling.]
No! Make that the hall closet.
It was sunny at the bank.
But then it's always sunny where there's money.
[laughing.]
Ah, well, a stormy day makes me appreciate the warmth and security of a happy home.
I wonder where Duckworth is.
- Good afternoon, sir.
- There you are.
Duckworth, why are you standing in the closet? [Clears throat.]
Because there's no limo monster in here, sir.
I guess he's got a point.
Limo monster? [Nephew.]
Uncle Scrooge? Is that you? Well, of course it's me.
Who else would it be? [All sigh.]
I was afraid you were a big banana.
Or Commander Gander, terror of the universe.
Or the limo monster.
Not last time I checked.
No, I'm just a plain, old, filthy-rich duck who wants to know what's going on around here! Come on, we'll show you, Uncle Scrooge.
[Snarling.]
Commander Gander must be hiding in our room, Uncle Scrooge.
Waiting to destroy our puny little planet, permanently.
Aw, pshaw, lads.
Pshaw.
[Gasps.]
I don't believe it.
I knew it! He's in there! Run! You better run.
You left your television on again.
My electric bill has been shocking.
Quackaroonie! There's nothing here but our usual roomful of junk.
What happened to Commander Gander? He was probably scared off by the big banana.
[Sighs.]
Come on, Mr.
McDuck.
If anyone can scare it away, you can.
But it was right here, Mr.
McDuck.
It was mean and yellow, - and almost too big to eat.
- There, there, Doofus.
The mind can play funny tricks on you, especially a mind like yours.
I guess you're right, Mr.
McDuck.
Can I have something to eat? You're welcome to eat anything in the kitchen that doesn't eat you first.
Oh, boy! Ah, well, who can explain the overactive imaginations of kids? [Doorbell rings.]
I'm coming, I'm coming! [Chuckling.]
I hope it's not a big banana, or a limo monster.
Or [gasps.]
Bill collectors.
- Pay, pay! - Payment overdue! - Two months late! - Pay up! - Your account is overdrawn! - Check bounced! - Credit's been canceled! - [All.]
Pay, pay, pay! [Howls.]
- Open the door or your wallet! - We own you, McDuck! - And everything you have.
- It's like a nightmare coming true.
- Good afternoon once again, sir.
- They're after me, Duckworth! I take it you don't want me to answer the door then.
- No! - Uncle Scrooge? - Are you in there? - [Scrooge.]
No, I'm not.
Go away! - But it's just us, Uncle Scrooge.
- Your loving nephews.
And your favorite neighbor.
Oh, uh, - I don't owe you money, do I? - Of course not.
- What happened to those collectors? - What bill collectors? Boys, something strange is going on here.
[Thunderclap.]
[Woman cackling.]
All you'll be finding are your worst fears.
And they're going to get worse and worse and worse! I'm sorry I didn't believe you about Commander Gander.
- Or the big banana.
- What about the limo monster, sir? - Don't push it, Duckworth.
- Very good, sir.
- We'll figure this out, Uncle Scrooge.
- Yeah! Split up and snoop for clues.
- We'll look upstairs.
- I'll take the kitchen.
- I'll search the closet, sir.
- Very well, lads.
I'll search my study.
At the first sign of trouble, head for Duckworth's closet.
Oh, things could not be better.
Oh, I'm having such good time.
All your fears are coming true since my fear cloud rained on you.
There is nothing you can do! So run and hide when I say, "Boo!" [Boy.]
What are you looking for, barrel belly? [Gasps.]
- Larger underwear? - Bully Beagle, the school bully! Oh, no! Please don't pick on me! Worms like you were born to be picked on.
No, please, I'll do anything.
Anything! - Give me your lunch money.
- No way! Then I'm gonna wring your chubby little neck! No! [gasping.]
The video game looks perfectly normal.
Unplug it anyway, just in case.
[Woman.]
Oh, boys, aren't you forgetting something? Our teacher, Mrs.
Quackenbush! You didn't do your homework, boys.
And you know how I hate that.
[All scream.]
Whose idea was it not to do our homework? Yours! Whose idea was it to listen to my idea? Come out, you blasted bill collectors.
Nothing scares Scrooge McDuck.
- [Alarm blares.]
- [Howls.]
My money bin alarm.
My poor money is in trouble.
[Both grunting.]
Doofus, what are you doing? Bully Beagle is making a fool of me.
And doing a good job of it too.
[Crying.]
I hate it when he picks on me.
So do I.
- Duckworth, get the limo! - Oh, my apologies, sir.
But I wouldn't go near the limo if you paid me.
- I do pay you.
- Oh, is that what you call it? Tell you what, sir.
I'll pay you a month's salary to drive yourself.
- A month's salary? - Yes, sir.
- Yours or mine? - Mine, sir.
Keep it.
- Uncle Scrooge, we found a clue! - A really big clue.
- Our teacher, Mrs.
Quackenbush, was - Fill me in on the way to the money.
[Nephew.]
That rain cloud, it's following us.
Stranger things have happened.
Most of them, earlier today.
- You boys stay here.
- We will, Uncle Scrooge.
With the doors locked.
[Howls.]
It's gone! My money is all gone.
[Cries.]
What could be worse than this? [People squabbling.]
Pay up! Pay up! Pay up! - With what? - You're penniless, McDuck.
So we're gonna take your nephews away from you.
- Forever.
- No.
No! - No! - Come back here! You'll never take my boys away from me.
Never.
Never! Never! [Whimpering.]
I was afraid this might happen someday.
Don't worry, boys.
I'll never let those bill collectors collect you.
What bill collectors? [Gasps.]
The ones in the rear-view mirror.
[All gasp.]
- That's not a bill collector! - It's Mrs.
Quackenbush, our teacher! I'll teach you! I'll teach you! I'll teach you! [cackling.]
[Gasps.]
That's not Mrs.
Quackenbush.
That's the school bully! That's it, Doofus.
Hide behind your friends, if they're big enough.
[Cackling.]
[Tires screeching.]
The limo is pulling up, and I'm pulling out! I'm sure there's an explanation for this, lads.
[All.]
Phew! We We We cannot go on this way.
Yeah! We gotta have something to eat.
We'll all stay together in your room tonight, boys.
- Can Doofus spend the night? - Well, certainly.
I wouldn't send anyone out in that rain.
Who's afraid of the rain when there's a giant teacher to be afraid of? Hmm, who indeed? You boys finish your homework.
I'm going to call the weather service about this storm.
While you're at it, see what's keeping Doofus.
And tell him to save some for us.
You know, I've always been afraid Mrs.
Quackenbush would really get mad at us - if we didn't do our homework.
- Me too.
- That's why we're doing it.
- Well, I never told you guys before, but I've always been afraid of Commander Gander.
- I mean, really afraid of him.
- Same here.
- Who wouldn't be? - It's almost as if someone knows what our worst fears are and is using them against us.
But who would know that much about us? [Thud.]
Uncle Scrooge! Figured it out, did ya? Well, my worst fears came true when I got you three little television leaver-on-ers.
I never wanted you here.
But that no-good Donald dumped you on me.
I've been doing all this to scare you out of my life.
But how could you do all those things? I'm rich.
I can do anything.
And I'll be even richer when you're out of here.
- Uncle Scrooge! - Uncle Scrooge! [Scrooge.]
Don't call me that.
I don't want to be your uncle anymore.
I'm not all wet.
There's a storm cloud raining on my house this minute.
[Thunderclap.]
See? Lads, I'm certain that rain cloud has something to do with all this.
Figured it out, did ya? Well, it's about time, you old fuddy-duddy! We created that magic rain cloud with our Junior Woodchucks chemistry set.
Just to ruin your day.
This can't be happening.
- You wouldn't talk this way to me.
- Get with it, Uncle Fuddy-Duddy.
That goody-goody nephew stuff was all an act.
Yeah, just to get our hands on your dough! Now get out and make more money, so we can keep mooching off ya.
Yeah! That's all you're good for.
And that's all we're good for.
[Howling.]
Here's a song for you, old fuddy-duddy.
- For he's a fuddy old geezer - For he's a fuddy old geezer - For he's a fuddy old geezer - Which nobody really likes - [nephews laughing.]
I knew it.
I knew it.
I was never cut out to raise three boys.
I've failed.
[crying.]
- [Nephews.]
Uncle Scrooge? - Lads? We're leaving, Uncle Scrooge, just like you wanted.
- Leaving? - Yeah.
You still want to get rid of us, don't you? Get rid of you? Why, of course not.
You're the apples of my eye.
I thought you wanted to get rid of me.
You said I was an old fuddy-duddy.
We'd never say that, Uncle Scrooge.
Why, of course, you wouldn't.
[Thunderclap.]
Lads, the things we've been seeing aren't real.
They must've been created through trickery or - Magic! - Aye, aye.
And that spells Magica De Spell.
[Magica.]
Figured it out, did you? [Cackles.]
Lt'll do you no good.
Your greatest fears will continue to haunt you until you give me what I want! My lucky dime? All this was just to get my old number one? Of course.
Now, hand it over, you old fuddy-duddy.
Or you will be running from your fears for the rest of your pathetic life! With a little help from my magic fear cloud, of course.
We're gonna grow up to be some kind of troubled teenagers.
I won't let that happen.
We've been running from our fears long enough.
It's time to face them.
We're behind you, Uncle Scrooge.
Way behind.
Oh, yeah? Well, face this! [Growling.]
I never did want you, and I don't want you now! You're in big trouble, boys! Scram, you old fuddy-duddy! You cramp our style! [Cackling.]
Run, Scrooge McDuck.
Run from your fears.
Run! Run! We mustn't run, lads, or we'll be running from our fears forever.
Face them, lads.
Show them who's boss.
Our fears can't control us if we don't let them.
Uh we're not afraid of you, Mrs.
Quackenbush! - We did our homework! - Oh, sorry.
And we know you're not Uncle Scrooge.
'Cause we'd never do this to him.
[Gasping.]
[Nephew.]
Take off, Commander Gander.
You're only a video game.
That's the spirit, boys.
And as for you, you nasty little kilt-nippers, my boys love me, so you're not my boys.
[Cheering.]
Oh! You are thinking you're so smart.
Well, I'll be getting your lucky dime with another magic spell.
[Gasps.]
My My magic spells! They are turning against me! My worst fear is coming true! [Howling.]
You deserve to get it in the end, you old fuddy-duddy! - We did it, Uncle Scrooge! - We won! Aye, lads.
[Sighs.]
And from now on, we'll always face our fears, no matter how scary they are.
I was afraid you'd say that.
Only kidding, Uncle Scrooge.
Only kidding.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode