DuckTales (2017) s01e13 Episode Script

McMystery at McDuck McManor!

1 Ach, Webby, a crossbow? [SIGHS.]
Sorry, Granny.
That's better.
- What's all this? - Hey, guys! Every year I brush up on my survivor skills on a secret island! [CLEARING THROAT.]
I-I mean, a regular island where young warriors definitely don't combat the forces of nature and each other.
You know, it's girl stuff.
[QUACKING.]
I gotta go! I gotta Why is everyone running off? Ugh.
You would figure it out sooner or later.
[WHISPERS.]
Today is Mr.
McDuck's birthday.
- [ALL EXCLAIM.]
- His birthday?! Okay, people, we are in crisis party-planning mode.
- Louie, start a guest list.
Dewey - Absolutely not.
Mr.
McDuck has a strict no-birthday-party rule.
He hates the reminder that he's Literally the oldest person he knows? [GIGGLES.]
But our most epic relative deserves the most epic party ever! Oh, I don't know.
He hasn't had a good one since before his old butler Duckworth died.
[HUEY.]
Like this stuffy old guy could beat the party I threw for the Junior Woodchuck Party Planning Committee.
It was both work and play.
Fine.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
If I don't come back, tell my story! Nah, he's gonna love it! Huey's time to shine! Another year older, another year richer.
I have the house to myself.
Time to celebrate with peace and quiet.
[FLOOR CREAKS.]
Aah! A home invasion! Take that, you bionic bandit! Surprise! [ELECTRONIC VOICE STUTTERS.]
Happy B-b-birthday! Meow-meow-bam-bam-meow.
[GROANS.]
Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, airplanes It's a duck-blur We might solve a mystery Or rewrite history Ducktales, whoo-ooh Every day they're out there making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of derring-do Bad and good-luck tales Whoo-ooh D-d-danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some Ducktales Whoo-ooh Every day they're out there Making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of daring bad and good Not phony tales or cottontails - No, Ducktales! - Whoo-ooh! [CHILL ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
So, next is mingling from 6:00 to 6:05.
Bathroom break at 6:06, but keep it under a minute, 'cause at 6:07 we're scheduled to have fun! [ELECTRONIC VOICE.]
A fun time! [CHEERING.]
[SHEEP BLEATS.]
What the blazes was that? [BEEPING.]
Oh, just the one and only DJ Daft Duck.
Yeah! What up, yo? Dewey's only answering to his DJ name tonight.
Just go with it.
Why are there a bunch of masked weirdoes in my house? Louie put together a guest list of Duckburg's most powerful and elite.
It's about quality, not quantity.
Everyone here is kind of a big deal.
You know, we had to make it a costume party to throw off the paparazzi.
Get in the spirit! Or not.
That's cool.
Come on, hop aboard the Happy Birthday Express! Toot toot! All aboard for a jumbo word search about you! Pass.
Next up, musical chairs! Or we could sit in silence.
Balloon Pop Relay coming into the station! Station's closed.
Staff meeting! I don't think Scrooge wants a party.
That's crazy! There've been a few bumps, but he'll come around.
Louie, no schmoozing.
Just serve punch.
Dewey.
Dewey.
[SIGHS.]
DJ Daft Duck? [TRILLS.]
Here's a list of pre-approved songs with a 90% enjoyment rating.
Play these.
Listen, I know planning is your thing, but you're cramping our style.
You gotta relax and just ride the party wave.
[WAVE CRASHES.]
[SEAGULL CRYING.]
A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest the honor know how much they're loved.
Uncle Scrooge has done so much for us! This is our chance to do something for him! By forcing him to have fun at a party he doesn't want to be at? I knew you'd understand.
Oh, boy.
Oh-ho, there's the birthday boy! I've got just the thing to help get you into the party mood! Cue lights.
[HISSING.]
[HUEY.]
Ladies and gentlemen, grand illusionist, Master of the Arcane Nik Nokturne! Spelled with two K's, 'cause I made the C's disappear! Oh, if there's one thing I hate more than birthday parties, it's birthday party magicians.
Ugh! Well, good thing he's an illusionist, then! Choose your destiny.
[WHOOSHES.]
The card's in his pocket next to a dove.
[WARBLES.]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
You're not helping! You, nonbeliever, come forth to experience real magic! Behold, the Abyss Box! - [THUMPS.]
- Nope.
But, Uncle Scrooge, you have to! For the party.
Oh, fine.
Who knows what mysteries wait inside? [SCROOGE.]
To be clear, you want me to hide inside this trap door in here? [FORCED LAUGHTER.]
Embrace the pull of the darkness! I call upon the spirits - [VARIOUS THUDDING NOISES.]
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
[DEEP VOICE.]
The party has just begun! [CLATTERING.]
Aah! My beautiful, beautiful box! Say whaaat? What a trick! [CRYING.]
Oh, no, no, no! Maybe I can fix it! [BEEPS.]
I don't think that was the trick.
Hang on.
Our dear old Uncle Scrooge would never go anywhere without his precious wallet! [ALL GASPING.]
Scrooge isn't just gone, he's gone missing! [KLAXON.]
[DÉNOUEMENT MUSIC.]
Take that thing off! Our uncle has been captured! Aha! Just as I suspected! We're locked in! That means the kidnapper is still in this very room.
Clear the party schedule.
Things just got interesting! Ahem.
Hubert, a word.
What are you doing? This isn't the time for some dumb party game.
You're right.
It's time for the ultimate party game, a locked room mystery party! And the stakes couldn't be higher.
- Uncle Scrooge's love of parties - Uncle Scrooge's life - Wait, what did you say? - We gotta solve the mystery and find Scrooge so he can experience the true joy of a flawless birthday party.
And, you know, not possibly die? Yes, of course, and that, but if we succeed and have a good time doing it, Scrooge may have experienced the most amazing party of all time! Shouldn't we call somebody? But who can you call when everyone is a suspect? Come on, boys, the party game is afoot! Oh, I hate this already.
Oh, yeah! You can't get that helmet off, can you? Oh, no.
Ladies and gentlemen, you are no longer guests.
You are now suspects in the disappearance of Scrooge McDuck.
How fitting, since our prime suspect is a master of making things disappear.
Nik Nokturne? - Hmm? - [WARBLES.]
You accuse me? I'm merely a messenger of the Dark Arts.
Who had the motive? Scrooge was making fun of you.
And the means.
That dumb box thingy? Nik Nokturne is a professional.
I can handle a little heckling.
Is that so? Couldn't hack it as a birthday clown, huh? Ooh, nice hood, hood guy! Hey, why don't you make like anyone's interested in you and disappear? - Is this your card? - Is this your card? Whoa! Aah! Ohh Beagle Boy! And where there's a Beagle Boy, there must be Ma!!! Oh, for crying out loud! Ma Beagle! Gasp! I always gotta do everything myself! Rwarrr! I can't believe.
I'm stuck in here with you morons! [NIK.]
That's right, fools.
Nik Nokturne was really me, Black Arts Beagle! This was all part of our sinister plan.
Together, we would pull off the greatest illusion of all! Shut it, Black Arts.
I would bewilder you mere mortals with my mystical powers.
Shut it, Black Arts.
but it would all be a distraction.
Pow! Stop explaining the plan, Black Arts! Of course! While he made our uncle disappear, Ma would sneak away to rob Scrooge! But rob him of what, you ask? He didn't ask! The deed to Duckburg! [GROANS.]
Uncle Scrooge owns the town?! Technically, he owns the land and leases it to the town for a tidy profit.
Oh, he's the best! He's a thief! Scrooge conned the deed away from my poor, defenseless Grandpappy Beagle, who had the good sense to steal it away from the dumb people of Duckburg first! Ma Beagle, I accuse you of abducting Scrooge McDuck, and breaking and entering! Breaking and entering? Why, I was invited to this party! You invited Ma Beagle? What? She's a powerful, totally legit businesswoman! She held us hostage two months ago! You gave me one hour to put together a guest list! Why would I abduct Scrooge? He's more trouble than he's worth.
I was counting on Black Arts for a distraction, but, of course, he messed that up.
So when the lights when out, I went to grab the deed while you dingbats weren't looking.
Unfortunately, someone locked the stinkin' doors.
I didn't think this dummy would actually make Scrooge disappear.
I'm not a dummy.
I'm the Master of the Arcane! [HUEY.]
Ah, yes, the blackout! The chandelier mysteriously went out.
But if we follow the power supply for the chandelier to Ha! A stupid painting.
Can I go now? Stupid painting or elaborate security system? Top that, former Best Party Planner.
Boy, howdy, that's a DT-87, toughest security system out there.
It would take some kind of tech genius to hack it and turn out the lights.
[BLOOP.]
Someone has been live-posting about the party! - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
- From inside the room?! Mark Beaks! What up, playa?! Yo, Mama, up top! Who is this? You were dying to take Scrooge down! Okay, listen Hat.
I'm not threatened by Scrooge's money.
Please, cash is dead! The new currency is buzz.
So when I got the invitation to this party You invited him, too? One hour to prepare! One! I saw my shot! I wasn't trying to hack the lights, dummy! I wanted to hack the security cameras! To erase all evidence of Scrooge's disappearance! Erase? Uh, no, no.
I was looking for footage like, huh-this.
[LAUGHING.]
He thought the door was open! But it was closed! Oh, man! I am gonna post this jam all over the interwebs! Oh, Scrooge'll look dumb while my account gets a dumb amount of views! Kaboom! Beaks out.
[LAUGHS, THUDS.]
Heh, forgot that was locked.
Hey, nobody filmed that, did they? Now, seriously, how is this guy one of Scrooge's nemeses? Well, that explains the blackout, and the flash was from Beaks's selfie! Let me see that picture again.
Enhance.
Enhance.
There we go! Behold, my Abyss Box, may it rest in pieces.
Someone opened it the moment before Scrooge disappeared! Someone who hates Scrooge more than anyone.
[ALL.]
Flintheart Glomgold! Hey, my rich brother from another mother! Well, how did you know it was me? It's always you.
And it always will be! - [MANIACAL LAUGHTER.]
- [THUNDER CRASHES.]
[BEEPS.]
So you took Scrooge! Took Scrooge? No, I was trying to kill Scrooge! That's like my whole thing.
FYI, you're terrible at your thing.
If he were ever gonna do it, he'd have to do it while Beakley's gone.
Ugh, I hate that woman! Me, too.
She's the absolute worst.
You know who I miss? [BOTH.]
Duckworth! Aw, he threw the best parties! Ooh, that man was an artist.
He never would've let us in here! Nemeses memories! Stop bonding! This is a crime scene! Anyway, when I received a literal invitation to kill Scrooge [GROANS.]
You know what? Next time, you make the guest list.
the real question was how to dispose of dear old McDuck.
[LIVELY BAGPIPE MUSIC.]
- [BURSTING.]
- Aah! Hah! Aah! - [CLACK.]
- Aah! Aah! Aah! - [CLACKING.]
- [SCREAMS.]
And eventually I ran out of time, shoved a spare bomb in a gift box, and ran over.
Ha! Oh, classic Glomgold.
So when the lights went out, you rushed to give Scrooge the gift so you wouldn't miss your chance, but he had already disappeared.
Cool, cool, cool, but so then where's the exploding present? [RING, BANG.]
Not my best work.
Yes, of course! It's all coming together.
Staff meeting! - You got nothing, do ya? - I got nothing.
Okay, it pains me to say this, but maybe we should call Beakley for help.
Oh, ow! Ugh.
Doing the right thing stings.
No! The plan is I solve the mystery and rescue Scrooge.
He'll love the party and he'll be forced to admit I did a better job than Duckworth, and then he'll let us throw him parties all the time! You wanna do this all the time?! I totally know who did it.
- Ugh - Yes! Invited guests, assorted archenemies, who is guilty of Scrooge McDuck's birthday disappearance? Ironically, it was the one with no plan whatsoever, the one who took advantage of the chaos to take Scrooge now, then decide how to kill him later! That's right, it was Flintheart Glomgold! Ha ha! Wait, what? You thought you got away with it, but you didn't count on the World's Greatest Party Planner/Detective! Take that, Duckworth! "Try again.
" [BEEP.]
Bless b-bless, bless me bagpipes.
Okay, so it wasn't Glomgold.
That means it was Mark Beaks! - What's up? - Zip! Try again? Ma Beagle? Aah Oh, come on! That's weird! There's literally no one else it could be! If it wasn't them, then who? Cool, cool, so time to give up on this disaster of a party and call Beakley.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Chip-chip-cheerio.
Runnin' out of sound effects? Oh, yeah! Of course you two want to give up! You've been conspiring against my amazing party from the start! Inviting villains, being bad at DJ'ing Yeah, I said it! [BOOING.]
I wouldn't be surprised if you took Uncle Scrooge to make me look bad! We worked our butts off to help you plan this party, and you complained! Then we went along with this weird mystery party idea, which went nowhere! And worse of all, you made me the responsible one! - Well, you can just - Black Arts! Black Arts! It was Black Arts Beagle and a demon! Knew it the whole time! Great! Mystery solved.
Now what? I don't know.
Once you solve the mystery, the party should be over.
This party's just getting started.
I plotted this whole thing to prove to Ma that all those magic classes were not a waste of time.
You hear me?! I summoned a demon to get rid of her enemies, and then her, and now I'll finally get rid of you! Spirit, I command thee to get them! [DISTORTED ELECTRONIC NOTES.]
I said get them! [DISTORTED ELECTRONIC NOTES.]
- Please? - [GROWLS.]
Oh, no! I'm not as good as I thought I was! [NEPHEWS.]
Aah! Now I'll never be able to throw a party better than Duckworth! Also, you'll be dead.
[CLICK, RATCHETTING.]
[BANGING.]
[QUAVERING.]
[CHITTERS.]
I should've listened to Uncle Scrooge when he said, "Spit on me spats, I hate parties," but I just had to do it.
And right now you have to stop talking.
I was trying to throw the best party, but wound up with the worst party! Or was it the best party for someone who hates parties? That's it! - Wha-oh.
- I know where Scrooge is! Stop yelling! [BEEPS.]
Ah! Oh, man.
I never want to see that helmet again.
Aah! I wish I had the helmet! Duck! Turn right.
I said right.
Louie, right! I'm not controlling the armor.
The ghost thing is! [ALL.]
Whoa! [CRASHING.]
[ALL SIGH.]
Come on! I know exactly who's behind this.
[BEEPS.]
Boys, I give you the man who kidnapped our Uncle Scrooge.
[GIGGLING.]
[ALL.]
Uncle Scrooge?! [CONTINUES GIGGLING.]
There you lads are! You're just in time for the best part! - Aah! - [SCROOGE CACKLING.]
- Whoo-ooh-ooh-hoo! - Ughh! - [SCROOGE CACKLING.]
- Don't kill me! I barely lived! - #YOLO #FOMO #Aaah! - [SCROOGE CHORTLES.]
The person with the best reason for getting Scrooge out of the party was Scrooge himself! S-s-s-say whaaat? Sorry, I'm not used to talking.
Sound effect.
Beep-beep-boop-mep! Wait, what about Black Art's ghost? Not his ghost, my ghost! - [NEPHEWS GASP.]
- Boys, meet Duckworth.
Good evening, young sirs.
A ghost butler?! So, do I ring a bell when I need you, or you just You just show up? It all started with that monstrosity of a magic show.
I call upon the spirits! [SCROOGE.]
That preposterous prestidigitator conjured up a spirit, all right.
Unfortunately for him, it was the ghost of my most loyal servant.
I return to the corporeal world to find the mansion full of Mr.
McDuck's enemies, and even worse, hosting them at a subpar party.
Hey! So I did what any butler worth his coattails would.
Alleviate the situation.
So the creepy whispering was you? I do have a flair for the dramatic.
When the lights went out, you took Scrooge to protect him from them and me.
I'm sorry, Uncle Scrooge.
This was supposed to be a party for you, but I made it about me.
Please accept my resignation as World's Greatest Party Planner/Detective.
Ach, rubbish! This has been my best birthday ever! Those villains will think twice about trying to set foot in McDuck Manor again! And you brought back my favorite butler from beyond the grave, no less! The two of you really threw a corker of a party! Hang on! If you liked the party, why did Duckworth scare us all half to death? Ah, you were never in any real danger.
That was clearly a fake ghost axe.
Ahem.
Of course.
May this be a lesson.
I never want another party.
But what about parties for holidays, like Christmas, Hanukkah, or the often-overlooked Arbor Day? Mr.
McDuck just said No parties! I'll just buy a card.
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Hey, Duckworth.
Mrs.
Beagley.
How nice of you to finally return after abandoning your post.
Thankfully, I was here to pick up your slack.
Tell me, do you typically keep the house this shabby? I preferred it when you were dead.

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