Eastwick s01e13 Episode Script

Pampered and Tampered

Well, how was it, ladies? Oh, Darryl, those massages were amazing.
That chick walked on my back.
Me too and I loved it.
Those chicks are the finest masseuses in all of Thailand.
I had them flown in special for the occasion.
How much money do you have? And can I have some? [ laughing .]
Oh, no, thanks, I feel like a cooked noodle.
You really should.
Here is to the divine pleasure of decadence, ladies [ glasses klinking .]
Now, that if you think that we're having a 4-way tonight I think that you should get your mind out of the gutter.
Besides, I already have a fabulous 2-way plan for tonight.
umhmm.
hmmm.
Well, that's good, because I have a date.
- With who? - You do? Aha, with my new hot neighbour.
I asked him out on a hot date.
Way to take the initiative, Kat.
Yeah, me and the hot neighbour are gonna go play tag in the park with the kids and maybe even go to the Zoo.
- That sounds hot.
- Ish.
In a very awesome kind of way.
You guys give me a break.
We're both single parents.
I'm just too shy to ask him out to dinner.
It's a start.
- You're right, and I'm proud of you.
- Good.
Show-off.
Alright, watch this.
Oh, thank you, Kat.
That's beautiful.
- Come with me.
- Nailed it.
I have something to give you.
Oh, that's weird, I have something to give you.
I made it.
See, I have this muse and I'm feeling all kinds of inspired and I'm really getting into metalsmithing now .
Thank you, Roxie, it's beautiful.
And now, yours.
Is there something missing? Like the top and maybe the rest of the bottom? Not in Rio.
Rio? Are you serious? Next week, if you're free.
And you are gonna love Brazil.
You'll feel as though you've died and gone to Heaven.
Sometimes I look at you and it's like I've died and gone to Heaven.
Seriously, you are so freaking beautiful.
[ horn honking .]
[ screeching, crash .]
What's wrong? We were coming back from his favorite restaurant in Southwick.
We were on the bridge over the bay.
I swerved to avoid an accident, we went right over into the water.
It was so cold.
You had a vision that you drove into the bay? It was like I was there all over again.
Like I went back in time.
Back to the night I accidentally killed my husband.
- Hey.
- Hey, some chick walked on my back - Last night and now I'm all kinds of sore.
- That's great, but shut up.
- Excuse me, rude lady? - Please, listen to me.
Okay, so you know how I thought that Jamie was just a sexy deadbeat ass-hat who dumped me and then skipped town? Turns out, not a dead bit.
He's just dead.
He was murdered, Joanna.
Roxie? They found his body? No, but they pulled his car out of the lake last night.
Oh, but that just means that someone murdered his car.
It doesn't mean that they murdered him.
Ok, I'm gonna go to the cops and find out what they know.
Hey, wait, maybe you should let me go talk to them first.
You know I am a reporter and they have to tell me things, you know.
And I could.
.
I could just tell you.
Okay.
No, I don't need a reporter, I mean the girlfriend of the deceased should have a right.
Oh, technically, I am his girlfriend again.
As the news reports have already stated, we haven't found a body yet.
Yet.
That's right, but if it's out there, we'll find it.
Well This doesn't seem like any news story to me.
Other than, I mean, you know, finding a car in a lake.
Since there was nothing in the car that would lead you to suspect foul play.
- Never said that.
- Yeah, he never said that.
Does that mean that you found some sort of evidence that would lead you to believe otherwise? Maybe.
Ha ha ha, that means yes.
.
Look, nothing I can show you at this point.
So if you two will excuse me - You are not excused.
I did not - Come on.
I've dealt with this guy before And this man does not break for anyone, so let's just Let's go across the street and we'll grab a cup of coffee And we'll regroup and maybe come out with another strategy.
- Yeah, strategy, you mean how - Yes, yes.
I'm gonna go pee.
- And then I'll catch up with you.
- Okay.
Miss Frankel, you know you can't be back here.
I'm really sorry to have to do this, but You will show me the evidence.
How 'bout I show you that evidence? - Hi.
I thought I left you across the street.
- It's closed.
I thought you were peeing.
As you can see, it's not a lot to go on.
Oh, you broke him.
Way to go, Tonto.
The necklace, some hair, which was soaked in traces of blood.
- Traces of blood? - It's an old car - Could be anyone's bloody hair.
- The bloody hair was found in the trunk.
It's a little suspicious, yes, but not enough to build a case on.
Bottom line is, the guy paid his last month's rent, Cleaned out his place, and no one filed a missing persons report.
Well, I'm filing one, right here, right now, baby.
And I want that necklace dusted for prints, And I want that blood hair to be DNA-ed for for stuff.
Ok, Penny, just, you know, calm down.
We don't know how any of this works and I'm sure that the police are doing everything they can.
Hmm, they better be.
Because I for one I'm not going to rest until somebody figures out what happened to Jamie.
What's going on? Well we had a John Doe come in this morning And he looks just like And he he is actually saying that he is Which I know is impossible, but then again, look at us - We're sort of impossible, and yet - English, please? Ok, there is a man who washed up into the beach this morning, Only he thinks it is five years ago.
He keeps ranting about needing to find his wife He says that they went out to dinner in Southwick and on the way home They got into an accident on the bridge - Like me and Danny.
- Ok, see, see, that's the thing This man is saying that he actually is Danny.
Which I know, I know it's impossible, because Danny has been dead for five years.
But he looks an awuful lot like him.
Roxie, Roxie, you do not have to go into that room if you don't want to Roxie, thank God, I thought you drowned.
[ Roxie faints .]
[ thud .]
Hi.
- Sheriff Teaser here? - He's gone for the night.
Oh.
Interesting.
Uh, what about that uh, the tall guy, with the um, the curly hair? Artie? He's gone too.
That's a shame.
I noticed the other day that there was a bald guy here? Is there some reason - That I can't help you? - What? No No, um, I just You look so busy over there, but um But obviously you should help me, because you are here.
So I should ask you to help me with my problem.
Which is not really a problem, so much as it is that I left my jacket In that little room over there.
I didn't see any jackets in there.
- Do you mind if I just take a look? - I don't think so.
Ok, well, thank you for your help.
Guess I'll just, uh [ exhales .]
Be going now.
[ steam heater hissing .]
What the hell? [ steam heater shuts off .]
See you later, DNA.
Are you sure you're ok? Roxie, you still look a little pale.
How the hell is this happening? I'd like to know that myself.
I managed to stay alive in the ocean for 12 hours And when I make it to shore, everyone treats me like I belong in a psych ward.
It wasn't 12 hours.
It was five years.
That's not possible.
No, you're right, you're right.
It's not possible, because it's not real.
You are not real.
You're You're a ghost.
Or a projection.
Or a hallucination.
- Ow.
- Wow.
Cannabella.
I'm your husband.
How can you doubt me? Ok, ok, supposed Danny, - What did I order that night for dinner? - When, last night? Chicken parm.
You sent it back because they put green peppers in it.
You told the waiter it was a culinar abomination.
- What the hell is going on? - I'd like to know that too.
Where have you been the last 5 years? - With you, raising our daughter.
- No.
No, you're dead.
You've been dead.
Everyone thought I killed you.
The called me the Black Widow.
- I'm gonna live you two alone.
- I don't understand.
- Cannabella.
- No, oh my God.
Those are the same clothes you were wearing five years ago.
You look exactly the same.
You haven't aged a day.
Hey, mom, you sounded weird in the message, I just decided to come down.
Oh my God.
- Daddy? - Mia? What happened to you? Yesterday you were 10 years old.
I mean, where has he been this whole time, lost at sea? He was what? A merman? Well, you yourself did say that he hasn't aged a day, I mean - Sounds to me like some kind of - Magic? - Are you sure it's him? - It is him.
It's It's his smell, his voice, it's the way he movesIt's him.
I just know it.
God, I should feel happy.
Right now, I'm just freaked out.
Ah, do you think that's normal? I don't know, what is normal when your dead husband returns back from the grave? Well Darryl did say that uh come the power would attract all kinds of forces and chaos.
Maybe this is what he was talking about.
Oh, God, Darryl.
What am I going to do about Darryl? You're it.
So this guy was gone for 5 years and he looks exactly the same? Well, stranger things have happened.
I once saw this guy come into the ER With an entire jar of pickles rammed inside Nevermind, uh Look the point is, we ran tests and Danny is perfectly healthy.
It's a mystery, but A happy one.
Well, the older I get, the less surprised I am by all the weird stuff that happens in the world.
Come on, dad, you're it.
You have to chase me.
Uh, I don't think so, Gene, we're just gonna watch, - Why don't you go play, buddy.
- Dad, don't be so lame.
Yeah, where's your sense of fun? You're it.
Whooo.
.
Alright, here I come.
What are you doing? I'm just getting a base tan for our trip to Rio.
- Isnt' this bad for you? - UnHmm, but I like to live on the edge.
Hey, why don't you join me in here? We can tan both of our backs at the same time.
I can't go to Rio with you, Darryl.
Why not? What's going on? Danny washed up on the beach this morning.
- Alive.
- Oh.
Danny, my husband, who's been dead for five and a half years.
I I said "oh".
This doesn't freak you out? Well, it is Eastwick, Roxie.
Aren't you upset? - Would you like me to be upset? - Maybe.
I don't know.
I'd like you to say something besides "oh".
Oh, uh ok.
Fine.
What about us? I don't know what to say, Darryl.
Say what you want.
Not as a wife, not as a mother.
Just you.
What do you want, Roxie? I don't know, Darryl, all I feel is numb.
What's wrong with me? My husband's back and I don't feel anything.
And right now, for some bizarre reason, all I can think about is you.
I gotta go.
You can't get me.
I'm it.
I'm it.
- You let me get you - No, I didn't.
Alright, alright, Em, you're it.
I don't want to be it.
That wasn't fair, you're a cheater.
- Emily! - It's ok, we can start over.
- I'll give you a head start, Em.
- Shut up.
Stop telling me what to do.
I already have a daddy, I don't want a new daddy, And the last thing I need is another brother.
That's enough, young lady.
I'm sorry, we better go.
Uh, I'll call you later, come on.
Let's go.
Tell me, what's the difference between lost and misplaced? What was all that about? Well.
the police have misplaced the evidence that they showed us yesterday.
You're kidding! Come on, we both know what's going on here.
We do? You're best buddy Darryl van Horn, is obviously behind this.
You think Darryl Of course Darryl, Who else in this town has the power to make evidence just magically disappear? And he had a bone to pick with Jamie.
The man had motive and he had access.
Or the police are really that incompentent and they lost the evidence.
I mean, Penny, If those Police Academy movies are any indication Oh, come on This has Darryl van Horn's name written all over it.
And you know what, I don't care how powerful he is.
I am not going to let that man get away with murder.
But he is powerful, Penny.
And if what you're saying is true he's also incredibly dangerous.
So let me go with you.
Darryl trusts me and he's not going to do anything to you if i'm around.
You are such and amazing friend.
I love you Jo Jo.
Hrm Oh There you go, buddy, a shot of Makers and a beer back.
Never gave up hope.
Even saved a seat at the poker table for you.
Saturday night? Still 5$ buy in? Man, we're high rollers now.
Nice.
Thank you, guys.
Uh-uh, no.
Hey, how's Beth, by the way? Oh, hey guys, can I borrow him for a sec? Beth left Greg four years ago.
He's with Nicole now.
Nicole, as in Jeff Nicole? They mean, Jeff and Nathan.
They came out a while back, we're all very proud.
Ahh.
Hey.
- Sorry.
- No, it's fine.
Sorry.
Ok, this day's been so weird for me, I never stopped to think it's gotta be ten times weirder for you.
Weird, but wonderful.
You're home, I'm happy.
You sure? Of course.
Danny! Cannabelle, I swear to you, you are just as beautiful as the day we met.
No, more.
There is something about you, you're much more yourself somehow.
You are incandescent You got this Are you listening to me? What? Sorry Let's get a drink.
Ok.
Let's, let's practice.
So you be Darryl van Horn and I'll of course be me.
- Is that really Mr.
van Horn, I'm surprised to see you here.
See, already I think that that's weird As I would be really surprised to see him, I mean, this is a bar and And it's a party, a party for aguy Oh, please, just let me finish.
Mr.
van Horn, I'm very surprised to see you here.
You must be exhausted after killing my boyfriend.
No, you can't say that - Oh, Mr.
van Horn? - Penny, wait, wait Oh, Penny, don't you look fetching? Joanna, you look Erratic - Thank you, Darryl.
- Enough with the banter.
Tell us what you know about Jamie - Exuse me? - Jamie Dalton? You killed his mother.
Ring any bells? See, Penny and I are trying to retrace Jamie's last few days here in Eastwick Because Penny is on a mission to find what happened to him And I said that I would help.
So we were hoping that you could tell us when the last time you saw Jamie was.
Why are you talking to him like he's a deaf person? You know, to tell you the truth, our paths rarely crossed I don't think he likes me.
I don't think you liked him, And I think you'd stop at nothing to get him out of Eastwick.
Stop at nothing? I know you had something to do with his disappearance, So we can either do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way.
I'll take it hard The police know that it was foul play.
So I think, I think someone got rid of him, I think someone dumped his car in the lake to make it look like he skipped town.
You know, Penny, I'm a business man.
And if I wanted Jamie out of Eastwick, I would have simply offered him money and he would have taken it and he would have taken it, because No matter what people say everyone has their price.
See, Penny and I always play that game, You know, who would you sleep with for a million dollars, and you would be surprised how low Penny would.
Also I would never have left his car in some lake, waiting to be found because that's sloppy.
And I may be many things, but I'm not sloppy.
So I would encourage you to check your facts before you make wild accusations.
But I forgive you because I know that this is just the grief talking.
And if I understand anything I understand pain.
Now, if you girls will excuse me, I'm dying for a mojito.
- I think that went well.
- Are you kidding? Ah, you must be Daniel.
Darryl van Horn.
- Welcome home.
- Darryl was just leaving Was I? You know, Daniel, I find your case quite intriquing.
How do you account for your strange memory loss? I have no idea.
I can't remember the last 5 years.
It's like it didnt even happen, It's magic or something.
Yes, well I'm sure those years were as eventful for you as they have been for all of us, right, Roxie? Probably so.
All I know is today is today, yesterday was 5 years ago.
I don't understand it, but for now I gotta go with it.
I like that.
He's simple.
Well, I should shove off.
It's nice to meet you, Daniel.
Roxie.
Let me get you another beer.
There you are.
Nina's been looking all over for you.
She was wanted to say goodnight Remember when I started building this for her.
She said she didnt' want a tree house, She wanted a tree castle.
I was going to put a little rapunzel tower on it right there, remember.
I'm guessing she doesn't have any interest in a tree castle any more huh? What is she into these days? Your guess is probably as good as mine.
Having a teenager is kinda like having your sweet little girl repaced by a foriengn exchange student she doesn't speak your language, she doesn't like your food, doesn't laugh at your jokes You keep doing that.
Flinching every time I try to touch you, like I'm a total stranger.
I'm just cold.
Aren't you cold, it's freezing out here, Come inside.
You're sleeping with that guy aren't you? What guy? You're afraid of squirels, you can't watch Harold and Maude without crying.
You've got a weird mole on your left thigh we used to call your corn flake.
Cannabella I know you.
Dont' do this.
Okay, yes, I have been involved with that guy Darryl.
I knew it.
And before that I had a boyfriend named Chad, he was 26 and he died.
and before that I had a fling with Scott Hardmen, - You can stop now.
- Danny, it's been 5 years.
Mia's not a little princess any more and I'm not who I was either.
You were knitted so deep in my heart, and when you got ripped away it destroyed me, do you understand that? and by the time I had rebuild my life piece by piece I was a different person, and now here you are and I just don't know if I can snap my fingers and have everything go back to the way it was, I just don't know if I can do that.
I need a little time.
I'm sorry.
- Em honey - yeah? I want to talk to you about Jean and Colin.
I invited them over here today.
Is this the mommy and daddy also need friends talk.
Boy, you're a smart girl.
Daddy explained it, I get it, I just want you two to be happy well then why were you so upset yesterday I don't like Gene, he's weird.
Honey, Gene is a little weird, but he's also a really sweet boy.
Do you know how hard it was for you when daddy and I decided not to live together anymore.
Well, Gene's mommy isn't around at all.
Imagine how tough that's gotta be for him? He's probably just, really sad.
He doesn't seem sad, he just seems weird.
Well, I think that what Gene needs now more than anything is a friend.
Someone to be very nice to him.
Do you think you can do that? I could try but if he stays weird, I'm out.
[knocking on door.]
Oh.
Hi, guys, come on in.
The other kids are at a hockey game with your dad, but Emily's here.
Hi Emily, how you doing? I'm good.
Dad, you forgetting something.
Oh uh.
.
- of course, Kat, here.
- ohh.
Although I tried to explain to Gene that adults don't normally bring wine to play dates, but he insisted.
It's rude to show up empty handed Gene and I'll go up in my room and play.
Uh maybe we could all play a game down here.
No, that's okay, that's fine.
They can go upstairs.
Come on Gene, we have lots of cool games upstairs.
Would you like to see some of my cool junk? [snickers.]
[laughing.]
Come on.
Check it out.
I made a cafe au lait with my new French prez.
[ pouring .]
That's not right.
So What happened last night, Darryl van Horn I mean you really let him off the hook.
Fine.
Yeah, I'm sorry Penny I-- I just saw where things were going and I uh I wanted to protect you.
Do you remember what happened to me when I went after Darryl van Horn? Yeah, you got fired and you got kidnapped, and [laughs.]
And you had to work at a bar.
It was a very dark period.
I'm just worried that you're doing all this because you'd rather be angry than sad.
You think that's what i'm doing? Sometimes it's easier to get all riled up than focus on the things that you think that you can change rather than just sitting in the muck and dealing with the saddness.
Yeah, but the muck sucks.
[crying.]
I know it does, sweetie but you gotta get down there if you're gonna get over this.
In the meantime let the police do their job and you just focus on taking care of yourself.
Yeah, you're right.
[laughing.]
I should eat a salad or something and then I should go out and I should drink a toast to Jamie.
[chuckles.]
Do you think that maybe we could go out for coffee, not that you're cafe au poop [both laughing.]
doesn't look.
.
Yeah.
I'll go get my coat.
Okay.
[sighs.]
[giggles.]
[exhales.]
Okay, I'm ready.
Hey, you know what, all of a sudden, I'm just not feeling so good.
Yeah, you do look a little pale.
Yeah, I think it was all the tequila.
Like I, last night I didn't sleep.
Okay, well do you wanna just lie down and watch a movie.
No, I'm gonna go home, I'll call you later.
- Holy crap.
- Holy crap.
Yeah, I'm sorry there are a lot of words in my head right now, like stunning.
beautiful, and lush, but all that's coming out is holy and crap.
I had no idea you had this kind of talent.
Well, we're new neighbors and there's a lot to learn about one another.
Yeah, like where are you're heaters and how do you get these suckers to grow like this in winter? By magic, of course.
I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
It's ah it's like this heat conducting glass You wanna play Princess and the Knight? Or Mr.
& Mrs.
Pirate? I don't care.
- You decide.
- Okay.
Pirates! Man, look at these sunflowers.
And this rosemary.
Huh.
So you've been hiding something.
- I have? - un-huh.
You know a bit about plants yourself.
No, uh no, no, my mom had kind of a green thumb but I do not want that getting out.
Really make me sound like a manly man.
Yeah, well, I I like it.
[laughs.]
- You do? - Yes, I do.
[ plant drops .]
- Oh - I'm so sorry.
No, no, no, no.
That's ok, that's ok.
Um, we'll just, uh, we'll just repot it, here.
What are you doing? Watching our parents make out.
eww, are not! Not yet, maybe, but they will.
No.
They're just friends.
My mom and dad are getting back together.
She'll never be with your dad.
I'll make sure of that.
Hey cool.
We're not supposed to open the window by ourselves.
It's a deer, a baby deer.
- Let me see.
- Wait your turn.
Can I see, it's gonna run away.
Fine You see what happens when I try to flirt, pots get broken.
Oh, no, see, don't pat the soil, you wanna let the roots breathe a little.
I'm not gonna argue with you, you're the plant guru.
I don't see it.
- It's out past your yard.
- Where? Man, this glass is something else, these windows are all steamed up.
Maybe it ran away Yeah, it is pretty warm in here.
Maybe it's more than the glass.
[ Emily screaming .]
Emily? Emily! Emily? - Emily? - Oh my God.
Ok, shh.
Emily, talk to me.
Are you ok? [screams.]
I think it's broken.
[screams.]
Is Emily gonna be ok? Colin, go inside, call 911.
She was leaning out to see a deer.
Colin, go inside, please.
Come on, Gene.
Come on, Gene.
It's ok, it's ok baby.
Shh, shh.
Mommy is gonna make it all better.
Mommy.
It doesn't hurt anymore.
Come here, baby.
Hey, is that true? You were really leaning out to see a deer? I know I wasn't supposed to open the window.
I'm sorry, mommy.
It's ok.
It's ok baby.
[ panting .]
We have to get out of here now.
You almost killed that girl.
I'll admit.
I let my temper get the best of me.
I can't let this happen.
These are good people.
They don't deserve They deserve whatever I decide they deserve, Colin.
I need that woman.
I will have her.
And you'll help me, if you want me out of your son.
Why her? Why Kat? Because she is powerful.
She is special.
If I can get inside her, then I can do whatever I want.
And then, you'll get your kid back.
Daddy, daddy, help me.
- Gene? - I'm scared.
It's cold and dark, And I'm all alone.
Daddy.
I want my boy back, do you hear me? I want my boy back.
Just as soon as you help me get my new place to live.
[panting.]
What do you want me to do? Hardly anything.
Kat's quite taken with you.
Just keep playing nice with her.
And we'll all be over soon enough.
Now, let's go check on Emily.
Come on, daddy.
[ inhales .]
That's not a happy face.
You asked me what I wanted.
Not as a wife, not as a mother.
Just as me.
The thing is Darryl, I am a wife, I am a mother, that is me.
And even though I still want you, he's my husband.
You're both in my heart, as screwed up as that is, but he is Mia's father, and I loved him first.
But you're not the same person, Roxie.
You have grown by leaps and bounds.
And you will be stifled in that life.
Your gifts will wither and die, all that potential But don't you see, Darryl, it was my gift that brought him back.
It's the only explanation.
I can't turn my back on a miracle.
I have to embrace it.
Then I wish you well.
I'll still be here if you need me.
Hey, hey, hey, slow down.
We've had enough accidents for one day.
Hey, come on in.
I just wanted to see how Emily was doing, and bring her these.
Oh, Emily, come here sweetie pie.
Mr.
Friesen brought you some cookies.
Thank you Mr.
Friesen.
I can't believe she's ok.
Yeah, yeah, she was pretty shaken up but she's fine.
How's Gene? I'm sure he's pretty freaked out.
He's ok.
We had a talk.
Hold on one second.
This is for you.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
I I think we should try this again.
I didn't get to show everything in my greenhouse.
- I would like that.
- Good.
Hey, Colin.
Thanks for being there.
Any time.
[ saw whirring .]
Oh, hey mom, what's up? Hey, honey, be careful up there, that wood's all rotten, you could fall right through.
Take a pill, I'm not a baby.
It's ok, I replaced those old beams.
Mia is helping me lay the new floor.
You're rebuilding the tree castle? Uh, not exactly, I I drew up a whole new design.
It's gonna be a modern kinda Eco penthouse for my very cool, very grown-up girl.
With solar internet and a zip line.
It's going to be rad.
We'll have to talk about that later.
You have no idea what's been happening on the internet the last few years.
Listen, I I stayed up all night, Cannebella, thinking Remember the moment right before the accident? I was telling you how beautiful you were, how much I loved you.
I still do.
More than ever.
But, I realized that everything's different for you now.
So, as much as it kills me, I'm gonna go away for a while.
And maybe in time, we can rebuild, somehow Something new.
And it may not be the same, but Maybe it will be better.
Like the tree house.
Please don't go.
- It's ok Rox, you don't have to - No, I was I was afraid to let you back in before, but You're my home.
Don't go.
You came back.
You came back to us.
Get a room.
- This is even better than xanax.
- Umhm.
I'm just happy to have someone to share it with.
You feeling better? No.
My best friend is devastated.
I have committed at least four class-A felonies.
- The worst is over.
- Is it? Joanna, you are a good person.
Lately, you've had to do some - Bad things.
- Well, difficult things.
And I know your friend is hurting now, but Jamie was a vicious psycopath.
He tried to kill us all.
And if Penny knew who he really was, she'd be get on her knees, she would thank you for saving her life.
I just hate seeing her like this.
I hate seeing myself like this.
Give it time.
It will be over soon.
Hello, darling.

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