Family Reunion (2019) s01e10 Episode Script

1 [SCATS.]
A Netflix Original I want y'all to meet my family They're coming down south To stay with me - Big Moz - Do you love me? - Yep - I'm Cocoa Jade in the house, I've got a lot to say I'm a big sis Can't-miss renegade - Call me Shaka now - Hey - I'm the, I'm the chief rocker now - Hey Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi That's me - Little mommy, I'm Ami - Hey Singing loud and having fun It's Family Reunion [M'DEAR LAUGHS.]
[MOWRY.]
Family Reunion was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Oh, hey, Renee.
What's the tea? Why does everybody always assume I have the tea? Uh, your nickname is Miss I've Got The Tea.
So, I guess you don't want to hear about Drew's business.
What? Wh-Wh-Wh-What about Drew? [LAUGHS.]
What did you hear? - Okay.
- Okay.
Okay.
So I was at the Piggly Wiggly, minding my business - Really? - I do that sometimes.
Anyway, I was buying lotion 'cause the Ashy Wednesday sale.
- Oh, I went there last week.
- Yes.
And that's when I accidentally overheard Drew telling his boys that he was going to Drew's gonna ask you to go bowling! - [ALL SCREAM.]
- What? Oh, my God! Are you serious? Wait.
You know, uh-uh.
Bowling.
You hate bowling.
I know, but it's with Drew.
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - [CELL PHONE DINGS.]
- Oh.
- Oh, it's Drew.
It's Drew.
- What's he say? What's he say? "Do you want to go bowling?" - [RENEE.]
Told you! - [ALL SCREAM.]
[JADE.]
Oh, my God! I can't believe it! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
What is all the screaming? Did Jodeci get back together? Drew asked me to go bowling! [BOTH SCREAM.]
- [COCOA LAUGHS.]
- I can't wait.
- She hates bowling.
- I know, but it's with Drew! [COCOA LAUGHS.]
Jade, we've got to figure out what you're gonna wear.
- Oh, you're right.
Right.
Bye.
- Bye.
Moz, our little girl is going bowling with a boy.
I know.
Wait.
Where are you going? I have to pick out what I'm gonna wear when I follow 'em.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS.]
- [JEB LAUGHS.]
- Renewing our vows is getting as expensive as having a real wedding.
Psst.
Luckily, I don't have to pay for a minister.
About that.
I spoke to the board, and they didn't approve of me giving any discounts.
- Aren't you the board? - Uh, yep.
All right, guys, exciting news.
- I talked to our realtor - [MOZ.]
Mm-hmm.
and the house we love fell out of escrow, so we can get it! - Yes! - God is good.
All the time.
Whoo! God has answered my prayer.
Won't he do it? Won't he do it? Ha ha ha.
I mean, congratulations.
- [M'DEAR CACKLES.]
- Wow.
Moz, I am so happy.
All of our plans coming together so well just affirms that we made the right decision - moving to Columbus.
- Mm-hmm.
- The kids are really settling in.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, family, community, home cooking every night.
I don't want to hear them ask me for anything else.
Can we have some money for a new PlayStation? Sure.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
They ask for money, you give it to them? It's our system.
It works for us.
- How much is it? - Uh, a measly $400.
You boys are so spoiled.
Do you know how hard your father had to work for his fortune? Yes.
And we're glad he did so now we don't have to.
Wait, wait.
Moz, your parents have a point.
Oh, Mazzi, they flipped Mom.
Look, if you two boys find a way to earn half of the $400, - we'll give you the other half.
- [BOTH GROAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Listen, you boys know how I made money when I was your age? Wrestling dinosaurs? Why do you think they're extinct? As I was saying, I made money cutting yards with my dad's mower.
Mm.
Sounds like hard but honest work.
We'll pass.
A little hard work will do you some good, and I'll loan you my mower.
What do you think we could get if we sell his mower? Left out of my will.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS.]
Hey Too late.
I already saw you.
- Wanna give me a hand? - Do I have a choice? Oh, baby, of course you don't.
Take these beans, snap the ends off while we engage in conversation.
Now, that's what the old folk call Snapchat.
[JADE CHUCKLES.]
Oh, you're really good at this.
You're a natural.
[SIGHS.]
I hear you have a little date.
- Well, yeah.
It's with Drew.
We're - That's enough small talk.
One of my friend's grandson, Kurt, is gonna be transferred to your school, and I want you to show him around.
Ach.
Can't you get someone else to do it? What? He is a lovely boy.
- A gifted violinist.
- Uhh.
A champion athlete.
Really? Heh.
What sport? Chess.
Ahh.
You can go ahead and check this off your to-do list for today.
"Make breakfast, snap beans, ruin Jade's life.
" Ah, Jade.
Jade, Jade, Jade.
You are just so dramatic.
[CHUCKLES.]
Check.
[COCOA LAUGHS.]
Thank you.
Aw, we've missed you guys.
How was your honeymoon? - [SIGHS.]
- Wifey and I did the full European tour.
- Yes.
Gondola rides in Venice - [MOZ.]
Mm.
motorcycle tour in Monaco, and yachting in Greece.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- What have you guys been up to? Well, not much.
Eating a lot of grease.
We not in high school anymore.
You better watch it.
- Y'all ready to play some games? - Mm.
Yeah.
Are you ready for another spades beatdown? Uh, no.
You two embarrassed Cocoa and me so badly, we've retired from the game.
Yeah.
We thought we should play something a little more active.
Pictionary.
Psss.
Cool.
I haven't played that in years, and I don't think Eric and I have ever played together.
Yeah, and we'd probably be horrible, but who cares? It's all in fun.
Yeah, yeah.
A lot of fun, a lot of fun.
You know, unless you want to bet.
Say, $20? Huh.
Make it 50.
- Mm.
- [LAUGHS.]
To make it interesting.
[LAUGHS.]
Make it a hundred.
Make it more interesting.
All right, guys, come on.
Let's-Let's keep this friendly.
- All right, all right.
- And play for 200.
There she is! Okay.
You two are going down.
- [ERIC.]
You gonna get smoked.
- Okay.
Egg.
Mm.
Ah.
- Pancake? - Uh uh - Mm.
- Louis Gossett Jr.
What? Uh Ah.
A book.
Mm.
- The Notebook! - Uh-huh.
Oh, oh.
I know! Bookman! Booger.
Good Times.
- What? What? - [TIMER DINGS.]
Time's up! Time's up! Moz, what were you thinking? It was [BOTH.]
Basketball Diaries.
- Come on, Cocoa.
- Oh, you're the one to talk.
You drew JLo with no butt.
Uh, I drew pre-butt JLo.
What? There's no such thing.
There's pre-butt Kim Kardashian, pre-butt Nicki Minaj, but JLo has always had a butt.
That's true.
JLo with no butt is Selena Gomez.
Uh, last round.
What's the score? All right, all right.
We got 19.
They've got doo-doo-doo-doo zero.
That's okay.
We got them where we want them.
- Okay.
All right.
- Come on.
It's fine.
All right, baby.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Okay, we got this.
[WOMAN.]
Okay, I'm ready.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone? Yes, baby, yes! [CHEERING.]
- How - What? - What the - How the heck did you guess that? What can I say? Katrina and I, we are just in sync.
We always have been.
Well here's your money.
I'm always a good sport, even when I have a weak teammate.
And I shouldn't have said that out loud.
It's okay.
I was thinking the same thing.
Babe, don't be so hard on yourself.
It's okay.
You'll get there.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS.]
M'Dear, I told you I don't want to show this guy around.
I like Drew.
And like I said, I don't care.
This is not a date.
- But - He's here.
Go.
- Oh.
- Hi, Kurt.
Hi.
- I'm Jade.
- Put that away.
I'm a hugger.
[LAUGHS.]
Check, check.
I can't believe we already made 50 bucks.
Keep this up, we won't need any money from Mom and Dad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
They're excited about giving us half.
Let's not steal their joy.
[MOTOR RUNNING.]
Oh, what's up, Elvis? We got a problem.
- What? - I went by Sister Caroline's house - We just cut her yard.
- That's the problem.
How you gonna poach a brother's clientele? Clientele? "Elvis Maybury Landscaping"? Yep.
I trim trees, cut grass, and I'm a certified chicken whisperer.
Sorry.
We're trying to make some money to buy a PlayStation.
Hmm.
Why don't we join forces and start our first family business? Family? Y'all know I'm gonna end up with Jade.
We can make a commercial right now.
If you got high grass Or your tree's too tall Pick up the phone And call the Brothers-In-Law So, what do you think? I think you just proved that not all black people can dance.
Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey Okay, I give up.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can't tune a fish.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
That one used to kill in Chess Club.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, it's killing me now.
- You think you can do better? - Yes.
- What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? - I don't know.
[LIKE BEETHOVEN'S 5TH.]
Ba-na-na-na [LAUGH.]
I know.
Isn't it good? [BOTH LAUGH.]
- People like you usually aren't funny.
- People like me? Well, yeah.
Unlike me, you're one of the pretty people.
Oh, you know you're cute Heh.
Really? Oh, stop fishing.
I'm not gonna say it again.
I just hope Buela's new grandbaby isn't as funny-looking as the last one.
Oh, come now, Millie.
That baby looks like a young Morgan Freeman.
It's a little girl, Jeb.
A little Morgan Freeman-looking girl? And her brother looking just like Condoleezza Rice.
Mm-hmm.
Bless they hearts.
- We'll be back soon.
- Okay.
[JADE CHUCKLES.]
[TIRE SCREECH.]
- Did you forget something? - Yeah, you two.
Since nobody is home, you have two choices.
You can come with us, or you can come with us.
Okay.
Uh, can you drop us at Prettyboy's? Lots of kids hang out there.
Prettyboy's? Heh.
I think that place was named after me.
Oh.
Jeb, it's been a long time since you were a boy, - but you sure are pretty.
- [JEB CHUCKLES.]
- I'm so sorry you had to see that.
- Oh, it's okay.
Hey Girl Remember, the objective is to protect your king.
Okay.
So what if I move this here? [SNICKERS.]
What's so funny? You just won.
Oh.
I did? Guess that makes Me a great teacher.
Hey.
Oh, hey, Drew.
I didn't know you were coming here.
Yeah.
Some of the fellas are hungry.
Hi.
Hey.
Oh, I-I should introduce you two.
Uh, this is Kurt.
Kurt is my grandmother's friend's grandson.
He's transferring to Maya Angelou.
And, uh, Drew is uh, Drew.
- I'm gonna go get us some refills.
- Okay.
So he's buying you refills? Oh, no.
They're free.
He's just being nice 'cause I'm showing him around as a favor to M'Dear.
So what time do you want to go bowling? Depends.
Is Kurt coming, too? Huh? No, it's just me and you.
You okay? Yeah, I'm good.
Well, just to be clear, Kurt and I are not a thing, so it has nothing to do with our thing.
Uh, we have a thing? - You asked me out.
- Yeah.
Uh about that.
Something came up.
I'll see you around.
Oh.
Okay.
See you around.
Drew seems nice.
What's up? Wh-What's up? We made even more than we needed.
What should we do with the extra money? Let's invest it into our business.
Or we can go to the Waffle House and eat till we pass out.
I'd invest in that.
[RATTLES DOOR KNOB.]
Oh, we're locked out.
M'Dear has a spare key out here somewhere.
Freeze! Get on the ground now! Get down, y'all, get down! - What's going on? - I said down now.
- Do what he says, Mazzi.
- Okay.
- [POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
- Please don't shoot us.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS.]
[COCOA, INDISTINCT.]
- Yeah.
- You know, but I gotta - Oh, my God.
- Mommy! Shaka! - [COCOA.]
Mazzi! - Back up.
Let us do our job.
- What the hell's going on? - We got a call suspicious men were roaming the area, trying to break in.
What? Men? These are little boys.
We live here.
Could I see some ID? It's okay, guys.
We're here now.
Moses McKellan? I'm a big fan.
Since you know who I am, release my kids.
[MAZZI SOBBING.]
- Come here.
You're safe now.
- [MOZ.]
You okay? - [COCOA.]
Come here.
You're safe.
- It's okay.
- It's okay.
- Cocoa.
Boys, let's go inside.
[OFFICER, INDISTINCT.]
- You scared the hell out of my kids.
- Just following protocol.
Oh, uh, by the way found this on them.
You might want to look into how they got it.
They earned this money cutting yards.
Oh.
Good for them.
Be safe out here.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS.]
Elvis got home okay.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- But his parents are pretty upset.
Okay.
All right.
Thanks, Chief O'Reilly.
Appreciate it.
You have a good night.
- They're opening a formal investigation.
- Huh.
They'll get a little slap on the wrist and be out on the street next week.
- If not sooner.
- Hmm.
Oh, there are my brave babies.
You deserve some ice cream.
- I'm not hungry.
- Me either.
Come on, ice cream always makes you feel better.
I can't stop thinking about how scary it was.
Shaka just told me to stay calm and do what they said.
I just remember what Dad told me if I ever got stopped by the cops.
I thought the police are supposed to protect us from bad guys.
Why did they think we were the bad guys? Because we're black.
- Why does that matter? - Sweetie I thought you were too young to have this talk but I am kicking myself that we didn't have it sooner.
Guys, some police officers judge us unfairly because of the color of our skin.
So what do we do? Matthew 5:44.
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
" - [JEB.]
Mm-hmm.
- I'm not praying for them.
This is so unfair.
I know, sweetie, but it's the reality we're living in.
So this can happen again? I wish I could say no.
But the truth is, we have no control over it.
But what you do have control of is how you react.
And you and Shaka did a great job of staying calm and following those officers' directions.
We love you boys and I am so sorry this happened to you.
Let me say a few words.
Lord, we lift our boys up to you and pray that you will keep them safe and out of harm's way.
Yes, Lord.
- Amen.
- [OTHERS.]
Amen.
[RINGTONE.]
- Okay - Big Booty Judy Big Booty Judy Big Booty Judy Jade, didn't I tell you about that devil music? It's not me.
I thought I put it on vibrate.
[ALL LAUGH.]
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[MOUTHS.]
[SOUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
Ooh.
Cocoa's making jewelry again.
Uh.
Oh, maybe she'll let me keep this one since she ain't paying no rent around here.
You know, you two boys in the same spot since you finished your homework.
Why don't you go outside and play? Maybe tomorrow.
[SIGHS.]
Y'all said the same thing yesterday.
Got something for you, boys.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- What is it? I'll give you a hint.
Starts with Play and ends with Station.
[BOTH.]
PlayStation! - Thanks, Grandpa! - [SHAKA.]
You're awesome.
I am pretty awesome.
And you guys can keep the money you made.
- Sweet.
- No.
A deal's a deal.
We're gonna give you the money.
- We are? - You are? Yes, we are, because that's what men do.
Huh.
Well, it's a pleasure doing business with you.
Heh heh.
Why don't you guys go have fun? [JEB CHUCKLES.]
That was really nice, Jeb.
Well, in light of recent events, I think the boys should hold on to their childhood for as long as they can.
You're just so thoughtful.
That's why I married you.
Oh.
Now, is that the only reason? [GIGGLES.]
No.
You also had a car.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS.]
Yeah.
Oh, hey, Jade.
Do I know you? Relax.
We'll stay on the adult side.
Just don't forget we're watching every move you make.
Ach.
Leave her alone, Moz.
Sweetie, have fun.
- But we are watching.
- Hmm.
- [COCOA.]
Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Hey, you guys made it.
- Yeah.
- Hi, sweetie.
We are so glad you guys came out.
Hey, how are the boys doing? Eh, better.
It's been a tough few days.
Yeah.
We can't stop living our lives because of what's happened, so that's why we decided to get out.
Well, we're glad you did because you are going to enjoy trivia night.
Yes.
We're pretty new at it.
We've only been playing for, like, the past six weeks.
Oh, cool.
So how many times have you won? - [ERIC CHUCKLES.]
- Six.
But, you know, it's all about being in tune with your partner.
Well, I don't know what it is.
Whenever Moz and I play games, we can never seem to get on the same page.
- Ah, but tonight's gonna be different.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Why? Because, I - I'm trying to be positive.
- Oh, okay.
- Yay.
Stay positive.
Yeah.
We got this.
- [KATRINA CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Sure, you do.
- I can't believe Drew got so jealous.
- Well, it's his loss.
- Yeah.
Just go with that new cute guy.
- I can't do that.
Why not? You said he made you laugh, and he shared his fries with you.
That's big, girl.
My daddy won't even share his fries with my mama.
You know what? You're right.
I'm not gonna wait around for Drew to figure out what he lost.
- I'm a free agent.
- Good.
Maybe we can double date.
[BOTH.]
What? Did I miss a scoop? Jade's not the only one who met somebody new.
[GASPS.]
Ooh, deets, girl.
Tell me everything.
Okay.
Oh.
There he is.
Hey, Kurt! Oh.
You know Kurt? Yeah.
He's my new guy.
But he's my new guy.
So your guy is her guy? Ooh, now that is some tea.
'Scuse me.
- Hi, guys.
- [BOTH GIRLS CHUCKLE.]
- Hi.
- Hi.
- [KURT LAUGHS.]
- Hi.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [RENEE.]
Say "cheese.
" [SHUTTER CLICKS.]
- [KURT LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
There were 15 couples in that room, and we came in dead last.
[CHUCKLES.]
We didn't get a single trivia question right, - and one of the answers was me.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
I know.
Moz McKellan, we are not in sync.
Mm.
Only when it comes to games, babe.
When it comes to the important stuff, like how we raise and protect our kids - [COCOA.]
Mm.
- we're totally simpatico.
Well said, husband.
Aw.
You know, I'm really glad we're renewing our vows.
Yeah? It's a beautiful way to celebrate our new lives here.
- Mm-hmm.
- [SIREN BLARES.]
What? Oh, come on.
We're sitting at a stoplight.
This is not happening.
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
- [SIGHS.]
Him again.
Well, isn't this a coincidence? - Is it? - License and registration.
It's in the glove compartment.
I'm gonna get it.
Go slow, Cocoa.
I'm reaching for my ID with two fingers.
Mm-hmm.
Sir, why did you pull us over? - You been drinking tonight, Moses? - Oh, come on, man.
Looked like you were swerving.
Oh, that is ridiculous.
He was not.
I didn't drink at all, unless coffee's illegal now.
Hmm.
You know that report you filed, I was suspended for two days without pay.
Aw.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You got off easy.
And I'm letting you off easy.
This time.
But I'll be watching you.
[CRUISER DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES; ENGINE STARTS.]
Man, he's lucky he has that badge protecting him.
I can't do this.
Do what? We're being harassed.
I'm going down to the station in the morning.
We're fighting back.
Oh, and risk pissing that creep off more? I can't live like this.
Always worried that someday that shady cop might go too far.
I'm calling the mayor as soon as we get home.
Well, that's just it, Moz.
I can't feel at home if my family isn't safe.
I refuse to live in fear.
- So what are you saying? - I'm saying we're moving back to Seattle.
[SOUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CLOSING MUSIC PLAYING.]
[MUSIC ENDS.]