Farscape s01e08 Episode Script

That Old Black Magic

Zhaan: I'll see if I can find some medication for Rygel.
(high-pitched squawking) Hey, little guy.
Aeryn, check this out.
One critter, two-part harmony.
Trelkez.
Don't get it, then.
Too few heads.
They come with more? Yeah.
The more heads, the better value they are.
Their brains are the tastiest part.
(chuckling): Yeah, right.
Like you'd cook this guy and eat his brains.
Cook? Never.
Raw.
Zhaan: No, Rygel I haven't found you any medicine yet.
Hurry up.
I'm very sick.
I'm dying.
You only have a touch of Klendian flu.
It's not fatal.
We only wish it were.
I'm suffering here.
(coughing and sneezing) Your pardon? I sell jikset root, among other interesting things.
Then you're a gift from the Goddess.
(blowing raspberry) Hey, you with the big feet! Now do you want a hand with your problem? Help's right here and his name is Haloth.
Thanks, pal, but I think my problems are a little out of your league.
Oh, incorrect.
Haloth can fix up your crummy life, John Crichton.
How do you know my name? Ha.
I know lots of things.
First, you're dying to get home to Earth.
Second, there's a Peacekeeper cruiser hunting you.
Third, you're not interested, are you? Oh, well.
Sorry to bother you.
Ho-ho-hold it! This is a scam, right? (chuckling) Right? You must have heard Zhaan or D'argo telling somebody all this, right? How could I have overheard this? Your mother's maiden name is McDougall.
You skipped third grade.
And you lost your virginity to Karen Shaw in the back of a minivan.
(giggling) (giggles) No.
It wasn't a minivan.
It was a four-by.
John, John, you're grabbing at straws.
Look, what's wrong with listening to the pitch? You don't like the product, you don't have to buy it.
Last chance, Johnny-O.
You want to meet Haloth, walk this way.
If not hit the bricks.
My name is Haloth.
Welcome to my home.
How did I get here? Oh, the words I need elude translation's grasp.
Suffice to say, I simply wished you here.
My name is John Crichton, an astronaut A radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole Now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life-forms Help me Listen, please.
Is there anybody out there who can hear me? being hunted by an insane military commander doing everything I can I'm just looking for a way home.
Oh, dried gavork! Oh, quite aromatic.
Oh, I've never seen such quality.
I'm honored to be complimented by a Delvian Pa'u.
Twelfth Level, are you? Only ninth, I'm afraid.
Ninth is impressive enough.
What's this? Trellon oil.
Careful with that.
Toxic? Quite the contrary.
It's a sensual stimulant.
Enriches the conjugal experience.
You can vouch for this personally? Yes, though it was some time ago.
It's still potent.
Nonetheless, I suggest you test it before you buy.
Alone? As you choose.
But I'm willing to stand by my products.
Let me see what else you have to offer.
Okay, you brought me here.
What else can you do? Alas, I cannot transport you back to Earth or act as guide or compass to that end.
You can't send me home and you can't even point me in the right direction.
You are a fugitive pursued by Crais, who bears a dark desire for revenge, although you did not seek his brother's death.
Lieutenant Orn: Captain Crais, all the marauders have reported in.
They're low on fuel, sir.
They must return.
The marauders will launch the moment they're refueled.
Captain, the marauders have been on continuous patrol.
The pilots are so fatigued that it would be dangerous to launch It's far more dangerous for a Peacekeeper unable or unwilling to do his duties.
Do you understand? Yes, sir.
Captain, priority communication from High Command.
In my chamber, Lieutenant.
How, how did you? Never mind.
How, however you know you're right.
But it was an accident.
If I could only tell Crais that, make him understand.
Oh, that knowledge would dispel his vengeful thirst.
My talents can provide you with the means.
I can talk to Crais? You can set that up? I'll summon the powers for this task.
Hey, wait, I got a couple of questions Couple of thousand more questions.
(beeping) Captain Crais, you are to cease your pursuit of the escaped leviathan transport.
Withdraw from the Uncharted Territories at once and return to First Command for new orders.
The Council awaits a full explanation of your failure.
The Admiral wanted you to hear this in case I refused.
He'd expect me to take over command in that event.
And would you? My first loyalty is to my captain.
And mine is to the Council.
But perhaps I can negotiate for more time.
Is there any other record of this transmission? No.
Dismissed.
My name is Haloth.
Welcome to my home.
What is this place? Where's my ship?! Your swift and mighty vessel is undisturbed, traversing territories yet unmapped.
Return me at once or die! I'll not, for first, I'll have you hear my words.
(yelling) Before you vainly try and do me harm, behold this glimpse of one whose death you've sworn.
Crichton.
What are you? A friend, who'll give you Crichton, for a price.
What price? Tell me! Where's Crichton? He keeps wandering off.
He's over this way.
I can smell him.
Wait.
You can smell Crichton in all of this? Yes.
His odor is even stronger than yours.
I don't have an odor.
Crichton! Is he alive? Get Zhaan.
Now! Haloth: Oh, dear.
Oh, dear! Friend Crichton, I have news that you will not like.
No luck, huh? You couldn't find Crais? Actually, I found him quite easily.
Crais.
No obvious injuries.
Could he have been poisoned? Who on this planet would want to harm him? Well, someone has.
(snarling) This one says that she saw Crichton entering the dwelling.
He was alone, I swear.
You're lying to me.
You saw him with someone, didn't you? No! (snarls) It was Maldis, wasn't it? Who is Maldis? He's not really here.
He's a he's a hologram, right? I am here, Crichton.
To talk.
To kill you.
Hey Just put that thing down.
I'm.
.
I'm not going to fight you.
(both grunting) Why are you doing this? We had a deal! My services have found a better price.
I'm playing for bigger stakes now, John.
You can still talk to Crais.
Just don't expect him to listen! (cackling) (screams) This cut wasn't here before.
Look at this.
Your companion is as good as dead.
And so are the rest of you.
Is he contagious? It's not a disease that's done this.
It's something much worse.
A dark and dangerous force.
Wielded by an evil sorcerer whose name is Maldis.
He feeds upon pain and death.
Gaining strength by tapping into the life energy of others.
Maldis invaded our planet and killed half our population.
We who survive are prisoners kept alive only at Maldis's whim.
So this entire planet is subjugated by one man.
Not a man.
A cruel and malevolent being who's learned how to transcend corporeal form.
If you all rose against him We'd all die.
I know how invincible Maldis is.
Before he came, I was a high priest.
You were? I fought back but my spiritual powers weren't strong enough.
It amuses Maldis to keep me alive in poverty.
He especially likes fresh victims.
The rest of you will soon follow.
Not if we leave this planet first.
You can't escape Maldis's grasp.
Even in space, hundreds, thousands of metras away, he can get at you.
And do what? This.
He can rip your spirit from your body.
How can we fight against that? We can fight.
Where is this Maldis? He's taken over the complex at the end of the bazaar.
None of us go near it.
Well, he's done very well to terrorize primitive people.
Let's go back to Moya get some weapons and see how he does against a pair of soldiers.
He'll find you soon, you know.
What the hell are you doing? He wants to kill me.
No, really? Fathom that.
Oh, by the way.
My name is Maldis.
But you can address me as Haloth if you like.
I got a lot of names, John-boy.
Call me whatever pops your cork.
Yeah.
Right.
You're a regular Laurence Olivier.
Why are you doing this? What did he offer you? Much bigger stakes than you can and the bidding's closed.
Here you are.
Here he is.
Now deal with it.
(mocking laughter) -Damn it.
Rygel: Looks dead to me.
Don't start, Rygel.
Why did you bring him here? For safekeeping.
Someone needs to tend to him if he starts to bleed again.
Shouldn't Zhaan do that? She says that she is busy.
She's helping by applying some Delvian mysticism to the situation.
Well, it doesn't help my situation, does it? Or have you forgotten how sick I am? This should help.
It is ointment of yuvo.
It'll help clear your breathing passages.
D'argo, let's get those weapons.
Yuck, it smells like trat.
(sneezes) There is nothing to be done.
As soon as Maldis is finished with your companion he will come after the rest of you.
We must fight him.
I've already told you.
I'm no match for him.
But what if you and I combine our powers? You cultivated your power to help others.
Can you use it as a weapon? I can try, if you guide me.
Can you be guided? It's not just a matter of skill.
It's intent.
You must want to do harm, cause pain, even kill.
You are a ninth level Pa'u.
You simply aren't capable of that.
I once was.
There are no exits.
Save your energy for fighting Crais.
I'm not playing your sick game.
Maybe you're not, but he is.
Murderer! Listen to me.
I didn't murder your brother.
You destroyed his Prowler.
Excellent, Crais, now finish him off.
It was an accident.
Too slow.
You missed your chance.
(chirping) Liko: Your first lesson, inflicting pain.
(chirping) Go on.
Hurt the beast.
If you can't inflict pain, you'll have no chance against Maldis.
How can you be so sure that Maldis will come after the rest of us? Because you're new, alive and vital.
Not beaten and depleted like this planet's population.
Feeding upon all of you will increase his power unless you and I stop him.
(sighs) (wailing) More.
More.
(screeching) I can't.
You must.
(sniffling) You're right, I was once capable of cruelty, but now I have evolved past that.
Evolved? Try repressed.
You've choked off all your real emotions.
That's not true.
You think you've smothered your inner fire and found enlightenment.
But all you've done is make yourself cold.
Look at you! Struggling to contain what you're feeling.
Fighting to keep control.
What is it you're so afraid of? I'm not afraid.
Come on.
You're terrified.
I am a Delvian Pa'u.
Nothing can frighten me if I do not wish it.
You can't wish your fear away.
Face it.
Admit what it is you're scared of.
Are you afraid of Maldis? You can destroy him.
That's what terrifies me.
Oh, mama! Sebaceans don't care much for heat, do you? Crais, lay off for a minute and listen to me.
Why? So you can beg for your life? So I can tell you why your brother died.
Tell me then.
Tell me why he died.
First, you tell me something.
My module, the one I was piloting.
How does it compare with your Prowlers? Primitive, no weapons, no defense shield.
A windup toy, right? Yet my species is so primitive we all live on one planet.
I was orbiting it when a wormhole sucked me onto your turf.
I didn't intend it and I'd go home in a second if I could.
I believe you'd say anything to save your life.
It's the truth.
You think I attacked your brother? Oh, yeah, I popped into the middle of a giant space battle and decided to go one-on-one with a total stranger in a far superior ship.
Does that make any sense? You rammed his Prowler.
He ran into me.
You killed him.
It was an accident.
Why do you keep blaming me? I did everything I could to avoid him.
Maldis: Most eloquent, Crichton.
Almost sounded sincere.
It was sincere, you son of a But futile.
Let me spread some light on Crais's hostility.
Father? How dare you bring this man here! Don't worry, Crais.
I wouldn't touch your father.
This is simply an image from your past.
Bialar! Tauvo.
Come here, please.
That's right.
Bialar Crais, the acorn, and the mighty oak.
Maldis! Remove these images! It's time, sons.
The recruiter is here to pick you up.
Stay close to Tauvo.
Give him guidance.
I'm counting on you to protect him.
Do you understand? Bialar! Is that real? You didn't choose to be a Peacekeeper? You and your brother were shanghaied from your home.
Enough.
We were selected for Peacekeeper training.
It is a great honor.
Maldis: Yes, wasn't it? Just imagine how proud your father would be if he knew that his sons both rose from the ranks.
Officer Tauvo Crais reporting.
It's an honor to be on board, sir.
Captain's bars suit you, my brother.
No! Maldis! Why are you doing this to him? Just to jog his memory a bit.
Of course his brother's current appearance is more like this.
(yells) And Crichton did that to him! (wailing) Crais: Stop this.
(screams) Maldis: You know what I think, John? You can talk till your tongue falls out.
He's going to kill you, regardless.
(screams) Aeryn: Right, let's do it.
This door is protected by an evil spell.
There's no such thing.
Then why can we not get through? Zhaan, the door will not open.
We cannot get inside.
Even if you could, Maldis in his incorporeal form cannot be hurt by weapons like those.
Then what can hurt him? I can.
Oh, well, then, after you.
What are you waiting for? A third choice.
Though, I know there are only two.
Let that evil flourish, or unleash another evil against it.
How would you choose? I suppose I would choose the lesser evil.
Well then, there's no reason to delay, is there? Maldis is that way.
But we cannot get through that door.
Well, we'll keep trying.
Crais! (grunts) You can't run forever.
I can wait.
Enjoying yourself, Crais? Maldis sure is.
He wants us to fight.
You ever wonder why? I don't care why.
He's feeding off us.
He's drawing energy.
Notice how jazzed up he gets every time we go at it and how tired he looks when we don't? That's why he showed you your brother.
Crais he's pushing your buttons.
Maldis doesn't command me! Don't fool yourself, buddy.
Maldis is your enemy here, not me.
It won't work.
Nothing can stop me from killing you.
Look, just listen.
Please, listen.
You're beating yourself up because you were supposed to protect your brother.
I understand that now.
And you can believe this or you can shine it, but honest to God, I tried to get clear.
I didn't mean for him to crash, and I'm sorry he's dead.
You understand that? It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter? It changes nothing.
Tauvo is dead.
Struck down by a weak, pathetic, inferior being.
It must be avenged! I swear in Tauvo's name, Crichton, you will die in my hands.
Crais, wait! Maldis: You're not nearly as thick as I thought, John.
You begin to understand what I'm all about.
Yeah.
You're a vampire.
I admit it.
I feed on death.
But don't we all? Some eat plants, some, meat.
I consume the life essence itself.
Preferably medium rare.
So why not just kill us? Why all the foreplay? Death is the main course.
All this is the appetizer.
Crais is coming.
Will you run or fight? I'm getting hungry again.
Breaks my heart.
(mewling) I apologize for my behavior.
Continue.
Rygel: Zhaan, where are you? This goo you sent up is worthless.
What are you going to do about it? Wait.
This is a better lesson.
Zhaan? Zhaan? Give pain to Rygel? Zhaan, did you hear me? I demand you bring me something that works.
But he's aboard Moya.
I cannot reach that far.
You can with my help.
Why don't you answer me? What are you doing down there? Can you find me a remedy or not? And if not, why are we still here? We should leave this useless planet immediately and find a place where I can get some relief from this cursed (groaning) (labored breathing) (groaning) (sighs) (sniffling) (grunts) Part of me enjoyed that.
We're nearly ready.
Lieutenant Orn: The captain is incapacitated.
You must remove him and assume command.
Lieutenant Teeg: Not while there's a chance of reviving him.
If you want official authorization I'll contact High Command There will be no communication outside this ship unless I expressly order it! Dismissed.
We're not giving up.
How can we fight a battle when the enemy's defenses cannot even be breached? We will breach them even if I have to blast this door down.
Actually, that might work.
If I overload this pulse rifle then the resulting explosion should be enough to take out this entire wall.
It won't work.
It might work.
Can't have that.
What happened? I don't know.
(hissing) Crichton: Captain Bialar Crais? Let's say you do kill me.
What happens then? Think Maldis hands you a trophy and zaps you off to your ship? What's to stop you from bringing your Command Carrier back to the planet and toasting the whole place? Think he's going to risk that? Come on, Crais.
He may not even let you kill me.
He may drag this thing out for years and then kill us himself.
Is your vengeance satisfied if Maldis kills me? No.
Come on, Crais.
Who's your big enemy, me or Maldis? Can you put your revenge on hold and start thinking like a Peacekeeper? What do you propose, Crichton? A truce.
We join forces and nail Maldis.
We can't even lay hands on him.
His power can't be infinite.
He's got to have some weakness.
If we both stay calm and unemotional, he can't recharge.
We can starve him out.
Come on, Crais.
This may be our best chance.
I agree.
A truce.
My oath as a Peacekeeper.
Good.
Truce it is.
Now first question is, how much power (gasps) (gasps) (yelling) (groaning) Maldis: What's the matter with you, Crichton? Are all the species on your planet this dim? It's kill or be killed.
Rygel: I don't know why I'm bothering.
I don't care what Aeryn thinks.
You certainly look dead to me.
I don't know your customs for these situations.
Not that I care.
So I'll give you the Hynerian Ceremony of Passage and be done with it.
(clears throat) "John Crichton, valued friend.
" Now wait a minute, "valued friend" is a bit of a stretch.
"John Crichton, unwelcome shipmate.
" Hmm.
"may you have safe transport to the hallowed realm.
" Hmm Actually, not our hallowed realm.
No, that's for Hynerians.
Go find your own hallowed realm.
With the Ceremony of Passage complete, I declare you officially dead, and claim all your possessions for myself.
Now (grunting) (groaning) (grunting) I'd say you dislocated that.
(gasping) Happened to you once before, didn't it? When you trashed your motorcycle, and the only way for you to get home (grunting) was to pop it in yourself.
Pretty gutsy.
So why do you keep playing hide-and-seek with Crais? Take him on! What's the matter, Maldis? Blood sugar level getting low? Need another hit of violence to kick up the old energy level? Yes.
I'm getting tired of appetizers.
It's time to dine.
(laughing) What, is that supposed to motivate me? No.
But maybe this will.
Only one of you has to die.
Oh, yeah.
And what's the other one get? A free trip to Bermuda? Well, back to your ship anyway.
Believe me, I give you my word.
(laughing) Like that's worth anything.
It's better that Crais's, I assure you.
Crais is an animal.
I thought I could reason with him.
You can't.
It's him or you.
Shh.
Shut up.
I've had enough of both of you.
Well, you want gladiators, fine.
You got 'em.
Tell Crais that I'm waiting for him.
So you're done talking to him? Yeah! All done.
When we reach Maldis, you must not hold back.
Strike with all our combined strength.
No hesitation.
No weakness.
No mercy.
The good captain is here.
I'll leave you to it.
(Crichton yelling) Where's Crais? I had him.
I returned him to his ship.
Bring him back! I had him! Yes, you did.
Took you long enough.
But you finally did what I wanted.
What you wanted?! I thought you were hungry.
You wanted death.
I do.
But I'm planning for the long term.
Bigger stakes, remember? It's not you or Crais I'm interested in, it's that glorious death machine of his.
Just think what I could do with a Peacekeeper Command Carrier.
Carnage on a truly massive scale.
You you want him to keep pursuing me, so if he brings his ship within reach Absolutely.
He was seriously thinking of taking it home.
Can you believe that? But now he'll never turn back.
Deeper and deeper into Uncharted Territory he'll go.
And sooner or later, that ship will be mine.
And then Damn you! (Maldis laughing evilly) Temper, temper.
By the way, John I was telling the truth.
One of you has returned to his ship.
And now, the other has to die.
(groaning) Die.
John! I've broken through.
I've made him tangible.
He's all yours now.
(whimpering) Rygel! What the hell are you what? Where am I? You you died down on the planet.
D-D'argo and A-Aeryn brought your corpse up here.
And I, I revived you.
Oh, yes, the others yeah, they wanted to set your body adrift.
Uh but-but I insisted I could save your life.
And I did.
Course you did.
(laughing) Oh, it's not Kansas.
And you're way too homely to be Auntie Em, but come here, Toto.
(laughing) Liko.
(gasping) I gave you all I had.
You're dying.
Let me help you.
You already have.
Maldis is gone.
The price was worth paying.
I only regret that you and I Crais: I do not need further examination.
I'm fully recovered.
Doctor, you will omit this entire incident from your medical log.
Your utter failure to diagnose and treat my affliction will go unreported and unpunished.
You're dismissed.
Has there been any communication with High Command? Uh, no, sir.
Lieutenant Orn wanted to get their authorization to terminate you, sir, but I overruled him.
Then no one outside this chamber knows of the Admiral's orders.
I saw to that, sir.
(neck cracking) Lieutenant Orn.
Status report.
Orn: All marauders report negative, sir.
Then widen the search to dekka three.
Take us deeper into the Uncharted Territories.
Yes, sir.
Crichton, I will find you again.
(beeping and squeaking) D'argo: Zhaan Crichton told us that you two killed Maldis.
Even in his semi-corporeal form, Maldis could not be killed.
But he could be dispersed.
He will coalesce someday.
Zhaan I feel I must apologize to you for mocking your courage.
I see now that you are more of a warrior than I ever thought.
What is the matter with her? You called her a warrior.
You could not have cut her more deeply.
I just don't know, D.
K.
Maybe it was always a stupid thought, but I I just figured if could sit Crais down and talk to him, I could convince him I wasn't the murderer he thinks I am.
Well, I had my chance.
And I'm never going to get another one.
And he's going to keep at it till one of us dies.
Zhaan.
Well, you look about as cheerful as I do.
Come on, talk to me.
What's up? John, before I became a priest, I I was a savage.
Yeah, I think I remember you saying that.
I don't know that I ever believed it.
You've never seen that part of me.
I thought I'd eradicated it, forever.
Well, you resurrected it once, to deal with Maldis, so it's over.
No, it's not.
I feel it inside me still.
Now I have to rid myself of it again, and I don't know if I can do it, John.
Well, is there anything I can do to help? Aw, come on, there must be something.
I mean, even if it's just being a good listener.
No one can help me.
I'm I'm sorry.

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