George Lopez (2002) s03e14 Episode Script

What's Ricky doing here? He's not allowed in the house.
I know, but he needed a ride to the game.
Mr.
Lopez, can't you forgive me? Forgive you? You burned down my garage.
Do you know what's buried right there? No.
My melted golf clubs.
My lucky putter.
I four-putted on 18 that day and the last thing I said to it was, "I hate you.
" I said I'm sorry.
Why can't you accept my apology like Mrs.
Lopez? Man, she only forgave you because you're always telling her how pretty she is.
You're pretty too.
I just didn't think you needed to hear that from me.
- Max, was Ricky in the house? - No.
Then why is there a bag of potato chips and two empty juice boxes in the sink? - Because you left them there.
Mom said not to touch it so you'd learn to clean up after yourself.
Okay, that sounds like something she might say.
But I know he was in here.
I can smell it.
Check it out, man.
Come on.
What do you think? Oh, thank God.
I almost wore that same outfit today.
Hey, I'm reffing in Max's soccer league.
I just aced the test.
Let me guess.
"Would you be willing to wear this uniform?" "Seriously, would you wear this uniform?" Hey.
Hey, make all the fun you want.
But you know what? I love kids, I love the game and you know, there are some divorced soccer moms out there.
And my calves are my best feature.
Watch out.
Pow! Just like that.
Ooh! I know, I wish I was that pair of black socks right now.
Oh! Ricky.
You were in the house.
You shook up all the cans.
- No, I didn't.
- Oh, yeah? Were you or were you not in the house? All right, break it up.
Break it up, you two.
I'm gonna call both your moms, okay? Hey.
Wipe that look off your face, George.
I'll red-card you.
Max, Mom wants you down for breakfast.
Now.
Oh, man.
Dude.
Dude.
Dude, we overslept.
How are we gonna get you out without my parents seeing? Relax.
All we need is a distraction.
Hey, can you stop up a toilet? Can I stop up a toilet? Hey, twerp, better get downstairs if you You are so dead.
Carmen, please don't say anything.
Huh You'll clean my room for a whole month.
- No way.
- Okay.
I'll do it.
I'll even make your bed and fold that pink flannel sheet back just the way you like it.
Wait a second.
Have you been in my room? No.
Unless you're down with it.
Yes.
I am down with it.
And when you're in my room, you know what I want you to do? Come here.
I could've told you that was coming.
What are you doing, Max? Just throwing out some old clothes.
Hey, Max.
Bring that trash bag over here.
I wanna throw out these coffee grounds.
Oh, that's okay.
I'll get another bag for you.
Well, why waste a bag? I mean, I gotta pour this hot bacon grease in there.
It's really full.
Well, then I'll jump on it and squash it down.
- Ah! - Get back here, Ricky.
George, how many times have I told you? Make sure they're dead before you put them in the bag.
Angie, start the oven.
We're having Ricky, the other white meat.
You did it this time, Max.
You're grounded for sneaking Ricky in the house.
He's already grounded for skateboarding in the house.
All right, then no video games for a month.
We took them away for eavesdropping on the phone calls.
Allowance? Took it away when they burned down the garage.
Okay, you leave me no choice.
For rest of the month you're not allowed to use your hands.
Mom.
You heard your father.
Go to your room and open the door with your mouth.
Get your hand off the rail.
Ricky, does your mother know you're here? Yeah.
I told her you said I could sleep over.
Well, I'm gonna call her and tell her to come pick you up.
- Listen, Mr.
Lopez - No, wait.
Okay, she's gone.
Get back in the bag.
I don't trust you.
Did you think you could get away with this? This is my house and no one spends the night in my house without me knowing it.
I slept here last weekend too.
Try it again and you'll be sleeping in a Dumpster with raccoons gnawing off your face.
For the last time, son, get out of the bag.
It's dangerous.
I don't want anything to happen to you.
- George, can I talk to you outside? - Sure.
Are you okay, Care Bear? - Is his mom coming to get him? - Yes.
- In three days.
- What? George, she's going through a tough time.
She just broke up with her boyfriend, Ray.
It's been really ugly.
And Brenda, the babysitter they normally use, is Ray's sister.
So she's taking his side and babysitting his kids, Sarah and Jessica.
None of this would've happened if they'd just stayed in Montana.
You were on the phone 20 seconds.
I can't help it.
I'm a listener.
And I heard someone who needs our help.
He's a bad influence on Max, and I don't want him in the house.
Honey, it's just a couple of days.
We'll watch him like hawks.
I really think we should do this.
And I already told her we would.
All right.
Now I get to make one decision without consulting you.
No, I'm not wearing the outfit again.
What's the big deal? It's only on for, like, 10 seconds.
No, you're getting too dependent on it.
Ricky, I just talked to your mom, and she's got a lot going on.
So we're gonna let you stay here for a couple more days.
You're gonna let me stay in the house? Ricky, I'm a listener and I wanna help.
I know Jay is fighting with Suzy so Shania the babysitter is watching Joe Montana's kids.
- What? - Oh, who gives a crap? You're sleeping in the dog's bed.
And I'm not dependent on it, okay? I don't need it.
- I can quit whenever I want.
- Oh, yeah.
What's he doing by the stove? I'm making pancakes.
You want some? They taste great.
Yeah? They're not that great.
Bet you can't cook that chicken that's in the freezer.
I'll see what I can do.
Yeah, see what you can do with those little red potatoes and maybe a nice salad.
I don't know.
Surprise me.
Oh, this smells great.
I cook for my mom all the time.
Well, she's lucky to have you for a son.
How come you don't cook anything for me, Max? Because I don't have to work for your, love.
I mean, who's my competition? Carmen? I don't think so.
Max, we better get to school.
The coffee's all set, but I didn't turn it on so it'll be fresh.
Thanks.
That kid's up to something.
I just don't know what it is.
George, ever since he got here he's been helpful and courteous.
He even made us breakfast.
He's luring us in.
It's like when I stay up late at night and put out a piece of cheese and when that first mouse shows up, I take out that little hammer, and bam! I release them into the wild.
George, let's go.
I gotta fill up before we get to work.
I'm headed out too.
I got a long day ahead of me.
Oh, big plans, princess? Yes.
It's La Marie's community service day.
Free makeovers to homeless women to help them with their self-esteem.
Oh, that's so nice.
It's good to look your best when you're having a shouting match with a lamppost.
- Come on, what Angie does is important.
- Thank you.
That's right.
Wearing right lipstick says: "I may eat out of a Dumpster and pee in a milk carton but damn it, I'm a pretty, pretty lady.
" What do we do now? What do you wanna do? Maybe we should go to school.
I have a test today.
I have a test today.
I'm a nerdy little girl.
I'm not a nerd.
I'm barely passing.
All right, then, let's have some fun.
Hey, whose car keys are these? My dad's.
Oh, man, what happened? I don't wanna talk about it.
Oh, Ernie, don't tell me some lie about how you fell again.
You know, sooner or later, you're gonna have to leave that man.
Man, I'm done reffing soccer.
- Why? - Last night, I make one close call and then all of a sudden, there's a mob of angry parents in my face.
Next thing I know, I'm on the ground.
- Yeah, dude, some of those dads get crazy.
- Well, actually, it was a soccer mom.
And she was pregnant, so I couldn't punch her back.
Hey, George Max's school is on the phone.
They wanna know if he's home sick.
- He's not sick.
I saw him leave this morning.
- Well, he never showed up.
Ricky.
I knew it.
What happened? Well, you see, I was reffing a soccer game Stop.
Already boring.
Max.
Max! Come on, try it again.
It won't move.
It's stuck.
What? Get out of the car.
No.
Save yourself.
Stay in the car.
Lock the door.
Ernie.
Open the back for me.
Hurry.
He's coming.
Hurry.
How the hell did that happen? Well, we were trying to surprise you and wash your car but the hose is too short.
I love you, Dad.
Look, I want the truth.
Okay.
Here's what happened.
We ditched school.
But it was lucky because two gangbangers were stealing your car.
We scared them away.
But when we were trying to put the car back in the driveway, we crashed so I guess you're welcome, Mr.
Lopez.
You're going to school.
We'll deal with this tonight.
And you, you're out of here, man.
I'm taking you back to your mother.
And say goodbye to Max.
That's the last time you're gonna see him.
Do you know you could've killed someone? Wow.
Hey, your mom sits out here.
What if she was in that chair? Don't try to cheer me up.
Come on.
Hey, you two wait here.
I wanna talk to his mom alone.
All right.
You know, that was a pretty stupid stunt you two pulled.
I know.
Do you think he'll ever let me see Max again? He's pretty mad, Ricky.
Max is my best friend.
Hey, you know what? Once George cools down, I'll try and talk to him, all right? Thanks, Ernie.
You do anything like this when you were a kid? Actually, yeah.
One time, George and I broke into school with a whole bunch of spray paint, and we Made a banner that said, "Learning is cool.
" Whoo! Those were the days, man.
You're not the usual delivery guy.
Where's my order? No, I'm George Lopez.
I brought Ricky with me.
What was Ricky doing at the liquor store? Hey.
No, I'm Max's dad.
Ricky was staying with us.
Oh.
You'll have to excuse me.
I just woke up.
Why don't you come in.
I'm waiting for some wine to be delivered.
You know it's 10:30 in the morning.
It's a white wine.
I gotta talk to you about Ricky.
Oh, no, he's not here.
I left him with the nicest people.
You left him with me.
Oh.
Ha, ha, ha.
I'm sorry, I just can't think straight.
I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I'm trying to get my life together.
Um Maybe I should call his dad.
Can I get his number? Yeah.
Not from me.
I have no idea where he is.
But if you find him, you tell that loser that he owes me 10 years' worth of child support.
Right.
Okay, look, maybe I should just take Ricky back to school.
Yeah.
Now's not a very good time for me.
If you want, he could stay with us for a couple more days.
Oh Thank you.
You're an angel.
Angel You're my angel Sent from heaven To take my boy into your house For a while Uh-huh The angel is shutting the door - Hey, Ricky, put your stuff in Max's room.
- I'll give you a hand.
Ugh.
You were right.
Ricky is a bad seed.
I never wanna see that little punk again.
I brought him back.
He's in the house.
Oh, he wouldn't tell you where he lives, huh? Okay, I'll get it out of him.
Turn up the stereo real loud so the neighbors don't hear anything.
- Angie.
I went to his apartment.
His mom was drunk at 10:30 in the morning.
Oh, man.
No wonder he's so screwed up.
Look, I couldn't leave him there.
Look, I want him to stay with us for a while.
Are you crazy? I mean, first the garage, then the fence.
He's getting closer to where we sleep, George.
Angie, his dad walked out on him too.
Honey, this isn't your life.
No, it might be worse.
I mean, my mom was rough, but at least she wasn't a drunk.
Listen, you know I'm always the first to help out.
I spent the entire morning giving makeovers to 45 homeless women and it wasn't easy.
You try convincing a lady with leaves in her hair that she is not an autumn.
- So why can't we help Ricky? - Because we have to think about Max first.
He's about to fail the fifth grade, and Ricky is a bad influence on him.
You said so yourself.
I don't want him in our house.
If he can't go home and he can't stay here, what's he supposed to do? Hey, what if he stays with me? Oh, come on, Ernie.
No.
He can stay with me and my folks.
- You serious? - Yeah.
Remember, my mom and dad used to be foster parents.
And I could get certified while Ricky's staying with us.
But, dude, come on, taking on a kid, isn't that gonna cut into your social? Well, what about climbing up the corporate? What if you meet a girl who? You know what? You can take my kids too.
Hey, this is gonna work, George.
I can actually make a difference in someone's life.
Well, you know, Ernie's parents do have plenty of room.
They have panel basement downstairs where Ernie tried to do It's Me, Ernie.
Hey, you know, I'm gonna go talk to Ricky.
What if he drives a car through your fence? George, my dad's 75.
He does that once a week.
Hey, I can't find Dad anywhere.
Come on, Mom, we're gonna be late for my poetry reading.
George.
I know you're in there.
You're gonna miss your own daughter's poetry reading.
I can't hear you.
I'm trash.