Get Smart (1965) s01e10 Episode Script
Our Man in Leotards
( dramatic music playing ) Chief: THIS Z.
F.
B.
600 HAS JUST BEEN DEVELOPED BY OUR ARMORY, 86.
IT COSTS $32,000.
- $32,000? - RIGHT.
( whistles ) HOW MANY MILES DO YOU GET TO THE GALLON, CHIEF? THIS IS A TRIUMPH OF AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING AND THE MOST INGENIOUSLY CONCEIVED FIGHTING MACHINE IN EXISTENCE.
THE HORN MECHANISM OPERATES TWO .
50 CALIBER MACHINE GUNS MOUNTED IN THE RADIATOR.
UH, WHAT'S THIS, CHIEF? THAT'S A RADAR-OPERATED TRACKING DEVICE.
UH, CHIEF, HOW MUCH CAN YOU GIVE ME ON MY OLD CAR? YOU PULL THE LIGHT SWITCH OUT AND TURN IT TO THE LEFT, THE CAR SENDS OUT A HIGH-FREQUENCY EMERGENCY SIGNAL.
UH, WHAT'S THIS, CHIEF? I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK IT'S THE WINDSHIELD WASHER.
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAX, YOU HAVE THE NEWEST, MOST EFFICIENT WEAPON IN THE SERVICE.
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? UH, CHIEF, COULD I SEE IT IN A TAN? - ( alarm blaring ) - HALT! SAUNDERS! THAT MAN BROKE INTO THE LABORATORY AND STOLE THE IMMOBILO! - WHAT'S THE IMMOBILO? - IT'S A NEW DRUG, LET'S GET HIM.
CHIEF! LET'S TAKE THE CAR.
I THINK HE'S HEADED FOR THE MAIN GATE.
WE'LL CUT HIM OFF.
( engine stalls ) - $32,000! - ( engine roars ) ( brakes screech ) I'D BETTER GIVE THEM A LITTLE HONK, CHIEF.
- NO! - ( machine guns firing ) ( theme music playing ) WHEN HE TURNED THAT CORNER I KNEW I HAD HIM, SIR.
SOLID WALL ON EITHER SIDE, LOCKED 10' GATE - AND THEN HE DID IT.
- DID WHAT, HASKELL? JUMPED THE FENCE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER, SIR, BUT I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES.
IT WAS A SWARTHY FELLOW, LATIN TYPE.
HE WAS CARRYING SOMETHING, PROBABLY A BOTTLE.
MAX, DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO JUMP OVER A FENCE LIKE THAT? WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
STAND BACK.
Chief: YOU MEAN, YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO JUMP IT? WELL, IF I CAN'T DO IT, CHANCES ARE NOBODY CAN.
YOU SEE, I HAPPEN TO BE THE THREE-TIME WINNER OF THE SPY SCHOOL GOLD MEDAL FOR HIGH JUMPING.
UH, CHIEF, I'LL NEED AN "ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO.
" ON YOUR MARK, GET SET-- WAIT A MINUTE CHIEF, I'M NOT IN POSITION YET.
ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO! DIDN'T I DO IT RIGHT? WELL, CHIEF, YOUR "ON YOUR MARK" AND "GO" WERE MARVELOUS, BUT YOUR "GET SET" NEEDS A LITTLE WORK.
- I HAD A FEELING YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IT.
- ON YOUR MARK! GET SET, GO! CHIEF, NO ORDINARY HUMAN BEING COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST, MAX? YOU THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE WORK OF A VERY CLEVER ANIMAL? Chief: MORNING, WINDISH.
- I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
- ANYTHING NEW? WHOEVER STOLE THAT DRUG CUT HIS HAND ON THE DOOR HERE.
THAT'S ABOUT ALL.
I'M GONNA USE THE HOTLINE TO MY OFFICE AND TELL HODGKINS I'M HERE.
HELLO, HODGKINS, THIS IS THE CHIEF.
I'M DOWN AT THE LAB.
RIGHT.
OH, PROFESSOR, I BELIEVE YOU KNOW 86.
UH, OF COURSE, THE WELL-KNOWN SECRET AGENT.
- ( phone ringing ) - NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SMART.
- IT'S MY HOTLINE.
- UH, I'LL GET IT FOR YOU, CHIEF.
WRONG PHONE.
THIS IS THE CHIEF.
YES, HODGKINS.
THANK YOU, HODGKINS.
RIGHT.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT THAT.
SHE'S TRIED TO REACH US THREE TIMES AND BROKE CONTACT EACH TIME.
- WHERE IS SHE? - WE PLANTED HER IN NAHARANA'S DANCE TROUPE YESTERDAY MORNING.
THEY ARE HERE ON A TWO-WEEKS CULTURAL EXCHANGE TOUR.
NAHARANA REPRESENTS A FACTION IN HIS COUNTRY THAT IS NOT FAVORABLY INCLINED TO OUR GOVERNMENT.
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
EMILIO NAHARANA-- - ISN'T HE THE WORLD-FAMOUS BALLET DANCER? - CORRECT.
ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? NO, CHIEF, I'M THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING.
EMILIO NAHARANA, POTENTIAL ENEMY TO OUR COUNTRY.
- SWARTHY LATIN TYPE.
- AND ONE OF THE LASTOF THEWORLD'S GREAT LEAPERS.
MAYBE 99 HAS FOUND OUT SOMETHING.
BUT WHY WOULD HE WANT IMMOBILO? WINDISH, ONE QUESTION.
JUST WHAT IS IMMOBILO AND HOW DOES IT WORK? ACTUALLY, THAT'S TWO QUESTIONS.
HE'S BRIGHT.
I LIKE THAT.
- GO ON, WINDISH.
- IMMOBILO IS A RELATIVELY HARMLESS DRUG WHICH WHEN INJECTED SUBCUTANEOUSLY PUTS ITS VICTIM INTO A TEMPORARY STATE OF PARALYSIS.
TURNS HIM INTO A STATUE.
A STATUE? - I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THAT-- - NOW WATCH OUT, SMART-- OH, MY.
- HE'S GIVEN HIMSELF AN INJECTION - NO HARM.
A LITTLE BLOOD.
- BUT IT'S ONLY A SMALL AMOUNT.
- MY FINGERS ARE WORKING.
WHY DOESN'T THE DRUG WORK, WINDISH? IT DOES.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT IT HASN'T WORKED ON.
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
- OH, SEE FOR YOURSELF, CHIEF.
ONE LITTLE STAB WITH THIS HATPIN AND YOU'RE EXACTLY THE WAY YOU WERE BEFORE.
CHIEF? CHIEF? IS HE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT? HE'LL BE FINE.
- HMM.
- WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, SMART? I'M WONDERING JUST HOW FAR I CAN RUN IN 30 SECONDS.
WHAT PUZZLES ME IS YOUR IMMUNITY.
- WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? - BREAKFAST? UH, LET'S SEE.
I HAD A BOLOGNA SANDWICH, RICE PUDDING, - LASAGNA AND A PEACH.
- RAW? OF COURSE NOT, WINDISH, I WAS WEARING A BATHROBE.
NO, THE PEACH! - OH, THE PEACH WAS RAW.
- THAT'S IT.
PEACH FUZZ CONTAINS AMINO ALKALIS WHICH WOULD GIVE YOU AN IMMUNITY TO IMMOBILO.
ANSWER ME, WINDISH, WHY DOESN'T THE DRUG WORK? - BUT IT DID WORK.
YOU WERE OUT FOR A WHOLE MINUTE.
- I WAS? YES, YOU FORGOT TO EAT A PEACH.
- I WHAT? - IT SEEMS THAT A PEACH GIVES ONE AN IMMUNITY.
NOW YOU SEE, CHIEF, BEFORE I STAB YOU AGAIN YOU HAVE TO GET UNDRESSED, GET INTO A BATHROBE AND EAT A RAW PEACH.
GIVE ME THAT HATPIN.
NO NO NO.
JUST PUT IT DOWN ON THE TABLE AND STAY AWAY FROM ME.
- NOW THIS IS WHAT I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO.
- WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
ISN'T THIS TOP SECRET? YES.
WELL, DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD BE WISE TO SPEAK IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE? ALL RIGHT.
FRENCH.
FRENCH? GOSH, CHIEF, EVERYBODY SPEAKS FRENCH.
WHY DON'T WE SPEAK IN SWAHILI? AS YOU WISH.
MAHANI GANGA-GE.
- GANGA-GE? - MM-HMM.
- I THOUGHT IT WAS GANGA-GI.
- NO, GANGA-GE.
OH, THAT'S STRANGE.
I THOUGHT IT WAS "GI" AFTER "GANGA" UNLESS IT CAME BEFORE "GU.
" OKAY, BUT DON'T GO TOO FAST.
AND IN CASE ANYBODY AROUND I THINK WE SHOULD GO IN THERE.
( gunshots ) OKAY, CHIEF, I THINK WE CAN TALK WITH PRIVACY HERE.
MAX, 99 IS WITH THE NAHARANA DANCE TROUPE AT THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY.
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE A DANCE RECITAL TONIGHT FOR THE AMBASSADOR.
- ( gunshots ) - GOOD, THEN SHE'LL BE ABLE TO TELL US IF NAHARANA WAS MISSING FROM THE TROUPE WHEN THE IMMOBILO WAS STOLEN.
SO, YOU SEE IN THAT WAY, CHIEF, I THINK IT WILL BE A ( gunshots ) - RIGHT, CHIEF? - RIGHT.
NOW, I'LL NEED AN AGENT TO STAY IN CONTACT WITH HER.
YOU GOT HIM, CHIEF, THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS.
NO, MAX, I THINK I'D LIKE YOU TO DO THIS.
- WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE-- - ( gunshots ) SO, THAT'S THE WAY IT LOOKS TO ME.
RIGHT.
NOW I DON'T WANT YOU TO CARRY A GUN IN THIS CASE BECAUSE THEY MIGHT FRISK YOU AND THAT'LL BE A DEAD GIVEAWAY.
BUT I DO WANT YOU TO HAVE SOME PROTECTION.
LET'S GO BACK TO WINDISH.
( gunshots ) WINDISH, WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
I DON'T WANT 86 TO CARRY A GUN ON THIS CASE-- AH SMART, I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU THIS RING.
WELL, I CAN'T TAKE IT.
I HARDLY KNOW YOU.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! NOW THIS RING IS FILLED WITH A LARGE DOSE OF IMMOBILO.
THE LITTLE NEEDLE IN THE BASE WILL INJECT THE FLUID.
OH WELL, THANK YOU, WINDISH.
WELL, CHIEF, I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
YOU CAN DEPEND ON ME.
MAX, I-- UH-OH, I DID IT AGAIN.
LISTEN, WINDISH, WHEN THE CHIEF COMES TO-- WINDISH? UH-OH.
WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT? I'M HERE TO FIX THE AIR CONDITIONING.
WE HAVE NO AIR CONDITIONER.
OH, YES OF COURSE.
HOW STUPID OF ME, UH-- I MEANT THE ELEVATOR.
- THERE IS NO ELEVATOR.
- NO ELEVATOR.
WELL, I WAS ONLY KIDDING AROUND.
I'M THE PLUMBER.
THE PLUMBING IS FINE.
HMM.
WELL, TELL ME, IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ANYTHING AROUND HERE? YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT WE HAVE A SHORT CIRCUIT IN THE WIRING.
NOW TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - I'M HERE TO FIX THE WIRING.
- GOOD GOOD.
THERE'S A SHORT CIRCUIT IN THE WIRING.
YES, WELL, THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
"NO"?! DON'T TELL ME "NO"! NOBODY SAYS "NO" TO NAHARANA! THE NEXT ONE WHO SAYS "NO" WILL SUFFER! WHO IS THAT PERSON? THAT IS THE ELECTRICIAN, SIR.
"THE ELECTRICIAN, SIR.
" WHERE IS SENOR JULIO, THE AMBASSADOR'S SECRETARY? - I DO NOT KNOW, SIR.
- THEN FIND HIM.
I MUST SEE THE AMBASSADOR IMMEDIATELY.
( door bells rings ) AH! SENOR JULIO, THE MAESTRO HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
HE'S ANXIOUS TO TALK TO THE AMBASSADOR.
THE AMBASSADOR WILL SEE NO ONE UNTIL AFTER THE PACT HAS BEEN SIGNED.
THIS IS 99 CALLING CONTROL, OVER.
HELLO 99, THIS IS 86.
CAN YOU HEAR ME? OVER.
OH, I READ YOU LOUD AND CLEAR 86.
I THINK THEY'RE ONTO ME, OVER.
DON'T WORRY, 99, I'LL FIND YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU?OVER.
I'M IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY.
WHERE ARE YOU? OVER.
YES, I KNOW YOU ARE IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY.
I'M IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY TOO.
BUT JUST WHERE IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY ARE YOU? OVER.
UH, I'M IN SMALL ROOM ON THE FIRST FLOOR FULL OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, OVER.
IS THERE A BASS FIDDLE IN THE ROOM? OVER.
YES, THERE IS.
OVER.
IS THERE A BASS DRUM IN THE ROOM? OVER.
OH, YES THERE IS, OVER.
NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY AND DO EXACTLY WHAT I TELL YOU, 99.
GET UP VERY SLOWLY AND LOOK OVER THE DRUM.
DO YOU SEE A DARK-HAIRED MAN IN A WHITE SUIT? ( whispering ) YES, I DO.
DON'T BE SCARED, 99.
I THINK IT'S ME.
- MAX! - 99! WHY HAVE YOU BEEN BREAKING CONTACT WITH CONTROL? IT'S NAHARANA.
HE KEEPS US DANCING EVERY MINUTE.
- EVERY TIME-- - NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT, 99.
WE THINK THAT NAHARANA STOLE A DRUG CALLED IMMOBILO FROM CONTROL HEADQUARTERS.
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS, HAS NAHARANA BEEN MISSING FROM THE TROUPE AT ANY TIME DURING THE PAST 12 HOURS? YES, HE LEFT AT 9:00 AND HE CAME BACK AT 11:30.
HMM, THAT FIGURES.
DID YOU NOTICE ANYTHING UNUSUAL OR DIFFERENT ABOUT HIM WHEN HE RETURNED? NO OH, WAIT, YES! HE HAD A BANDAGE TIED AROUND HIS RIGHT INDEX FINGER.
OF COURSE, THAT'S PERFECT.
NAHARANA IS OUR MAN.
COME HERE, 99.
I WANT YOU TO EAT THIS PEACH.
OH, PEACH-- UM, I DON'T LIKE PEACHES, MAX, DO YOU HAVE A BANANA? NO, EAT A PEACH, 99.
I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.
WHY WOULD NAHARANA WANT THE IMMOBILO? WELL, I'M NOT SURE, BUT I THINK HE PLANS TO USE IT ON SOMEONE AND IT'S UP TO US TO FIND OUT WHO AND WHEN.
- "WHOM.
" - WHOM? - ARE YOU SURE, 99? - I'M POSITIVE.
WHOM AND WHEN? THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT TO ME.
BUT "WHOM" IS THE OBJECTIVE.
IF YOU USE "WHO" THAT'S THE SUBJECT-- ( gasps ) ( whispers ) THAT MUST BE NAHARANA.
WHO IS IN THERE? UH-- JUST A MINUTE PLEASE, I'M DRESSING.
WELL WELL, HURRY UP THERE, WE HAVE NEED OF THIS CHAMBER.
HURRY UP IN THERE! - HURRY UP, COME ON OUT.
- MAX, LOOK, THE DRUM.
I'D LIKE TO HANDLE THIS.
- ( knocks ) - 99, I CAN HIDE BEHIND THE DRUM.
- RIGHT.
THEY'LL SEE YOU THERE.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO CUT MY WAY INSIDE OF IT.
( knocks ) HURRY UP IN THERE! HURRY UP! - UH, IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW.
- BACK TO REHEARSAL.
JULIO, COME INSIDE.
OH, SHUT THE DOOR, SHUT THE DOOR.
TELL ME QUICKLY, TELL ME EVERYTHING.
- THEY HAVE CHANGED THE TIME FOR THE SIGNING OF THE PACT.
- WHAT? INSTEAD OF THIS EVENING THEY ARE SIGNING IT THIS AFTERNOON.
THE AMERICAN AMBASSADOR IS ON HIS WAY NOW.
AND THE PACT MUST BE SIGNED BEFORE 4:00.
BEFORE 4:00?! THAT IS IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES.
WE MUST ACT NOW! - BUT-- BUT MAESTRO-- - OH, "BUT BUT BUT.
" ALWAYS WITH YOU THIS "BUT BUT BUT.
" NO BUTS! NO BUTS! IF THAT MUTUAL TRADE PACT IS SIGNED AND THE UNITED STATES PROVIDES JOBS FOR OUR PEOPLE, THEY WILL NOT NEED US, NO-- WE CAN OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT ONLY WHEN THE PEOPLE ARE POOR - ( drum sounds ) - TIRED AND HUNGRY! WE'RE TO KILL THE AMBASSADOR? NO NO, WE MUST NOT MAKE A MARTYR OF HIM.
BESIDES, KILLING HIM WOULD DO NO GOOD.
THE UNITED STATES WOULD SIMPLY EXTEND THE PACT UNTIL OUR COUNTRY COULD SEND ANOTHER AMBASSADOR TO SIGN IT.
WHAT DO WE DO? DON HERNANDO IS WAITING THERE RIGHT NOW, READY TO SIGN.
YOU MUST GET ME IN TO SEE HIM.
I WILL CONVINCE HIM TO DELAY THE SIGNING OF THE PACT UNTIL WE HAVE DANCED THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF OUR COUNTRY.
THAT WAY IT WILL GIVE ME TIME TO DEVISE A WAY TO INJECT HIM WITH THE IMMOBILO.
AND THEN YOU WILL GO TO THE UNITED STATES AMBASSADOR AND SAY THAT WE HAVE DECIDED NOT TO SIGN.
THE PACT WILL BE VOID - AND WE WILL TAKE OVER OUR COUNTRY! - ( drum sounds ) - NO TIME TO LOSE.
- OH, INCIDENTALLY.
.
- THAT REPAIRMAN.
- WHAT REPAIRMAN? WELL, DID YOU NOT SEND FOR A REPAIRMAN? - NO.
- YOU DIDN'T? WELL, THEN LOOK FOR A MAN IN WHITE OVERALLS.
DETAIN HIM! IF YOU HAVE TO, KILL HIM! ( drum sounds ) LET'S GO! MAX, WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT? I FOUND OUT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT, 99.
- WHAT IS IT, MAX? - A HUMAN BEING CAN'T LIVE IN A BASS DRUM.
BUT WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THEIR PLANS? WELL, NAHARANA PLANS TO GET VERY CLOSE TO THE AMBASSADOR AND INJECT HIM WITH BOOM-BOOM-- EH, IMMOBILO.
OH, WELL, HOW IS HE GONNA DO IT? WHAT'S HE GONNA USE? WELL, I'M NOT QUITE SURE, GET OUT OF THIS UNIFORM OR I'M A DEAD REPAIRMAN.
WAIT! I THINK THEY'RE COMING BACK.
QUICK! GET BACK IN THE DRUM! UH, 99-- I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.
WHY DON'T WE JUST GIVE OURSELVES UP? QUICK! OH, I'M SORRY, I MUST BE IN THE WRONG ROOM.
OH, UH-- WAIT! UH, COME ON IN.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE JUST LIKE YOU.
UH, HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH? AH.
AND HOW TALL ARE YOU? ABOUT 5'9".
UH-HUH, THAT'S JUST ABOUT PERFECT.
WELL, IT'S NOT PERFECT.
HI, THERE.
I'M SECRET AGENT 86.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? IMMOBILO IN THIS RING.
THAT'S MARVELOUS.
NOW YOU'D BETTER GET OUTSIDE BEFORE THEY MISS YOU.
- I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS UNIFORM.
- RIGHT.
WHO ARE YOU? SECRET AGENT 86.
VERY GOOD GIRLS! VERY GOOD! NOW HURRY! UPSTAIRS ALL OF YOU! HURRY HURRY HURRY, HURRY HURRY HURRY.
VERY GOOD.
YOU TOO, GENTLEMEN.
YOU ARE TO DANCE THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
WAIT A MOMENT, I WANT TO FIND OUT SOMETHING.
EACH ONE OF YOU EXECUTE A LEAP.
YEAH, THAT IS A DANCER.
THAT IS A DANCER.
THAT IS A DANCER.
WAIT, YOU! A LEAP AND SPLIT.
AFTER HIM! AFTER HIM! AFTER HIM! SENOR PARKERSON, I WILL SIGN THE PACT WHEN NAHARANA HAS DANCED OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM.
- BUT YOUR EXCELLENCY-- - A CUSTOM OF OUR COUNTRY.
YOUR EXCELLENCY! YOU MUST EAT THIS PEACH BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I'M A SECRET AGENT, I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU.
A SECRET AGENT? WHERE ARE YOUR CREDENTIALS? UH, MY CREDENTIALS-- WELL, I LEFT THEM IN MY MUSTACHE KIT, BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'VE GOT TO EAT THIS PEACH.
YOU'LL SAVE YOUR COUNTRY IF YOU DO.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU MAD? AND HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THIS IMPORTANT OCCASION? - WHO IS THIS FOOLISH DANCER? - DANCER? I'M NO DANCER, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
LOOK, I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
MAYBE I AM A DANCER.
IT WAS A MISTAKE, YOUR EXCELLENCY, I'VE NEVER DONE IT THAT GOOD BEFORE.
JULIO, WHO IS THIS PERSON? HE CLAIMS TO BE A SECRET AGENT.
AND HE SAYS IF I DON'T EAT THE PEACH, OUR COUNTRY IS IN DANGER.
Emilio: OH, I AM SO SORRY SENOR AMBASSADOR.
HE IS PART OF MY TROUPE.
TWO DAYS AGO, YOU SEE, HE SUFFERED A VERY BAD NERVOUS BREAKDOWN AND THE BOY IS NOT YET HIMSELF.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM, DON'T WORRY.
- HERE, TAKE CARE OF THIS MAN AND TAKE HIM AWAY! - BUT, YOUR EXCELLENCY! BUT THEY'RE LYING, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
- TAKE HIM AWAY! - NO, DON'T LET THEM TAKE HIM AWAY! HE IS A SECRET AGENT.
HIS NUMBER IS 86, I'M NUMBER 99-- LISTEN, THIS POOR LITTLE GIRL, SHE'S HIS WIFE, YOU SEE.
IT'S BEEN SO MUCH FOR HER TO SEE HER HUSBAND CRUMBLE BEFORE HER VERY EYES.
- NO, MR.
PARKERSON! - JULIO, TAKE AWAY THIS UNFORTUNATE PERSON.
DON HERNANDO, WITH YOUR PERMISSION I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM HERE UNTIL I CHECK OUT THEIR STORY.
AS YOU WISH.
BUT THERE MUST BE ABSOLUTE SILENCE UNTIL THE FORMALITIES ARE OVER.
PLEASE! FORGIVE ME, EMILIO, BUT WE CAN WAIT NO LONGER.
- I'M GOING TO SIGN THE PACT.
-Emilio: AS YOU WOULD WISH, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
I WOULD HOWEVER BE MUCH HONORED IF, WHEN YOU ARE SIGNING THE TREATY, YOU WOULD USE THE HUMBLE PEN OF EMILIO NAHARANA.
OF COURSE, IF IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.
- THAT'S IT! THE IMMOBILO MUST BE IN THE PEN.
- YOU'RE RIGHT! YOUR PEN SEEMS TO HAVE RUN OUT OF INK.
IT'S A BALLPOINT.
JUST PRESS DOWN THE LITTLE BUTTON-- YOUR EXCELLENCY, DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON! YOU'LL BE PARALYZED! UH, THAT'S NONSENSE! THIS MAN HAS TAKEN LEAVE OF HIS SENSES! IF THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT PEN, EMILIO NAHARANA, THEN WHY DON'T YOU LET ME JAB YOU WITH IT? - OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS! JULIO, TAKE HIM AWAY! - WAIT! EMILIO, IF THIS MAN IS AN IMPOSTER, WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO TOUCH THE PEN, HUH? UH, YOU WEAK, STUPID LITTLE FOOL, HOW DARE YOU MAKE TREATIES WITH THE DECADENT DEMOCRACIES! I WAS ONLY GOING TO PARALYZE YOU.
NOW YOU DIE! WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN? WELL, IT ONLY GOES TO PROVE ONE THING, YOUR EXCELLENCY-- THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD.
SENOR SMART, MY GOVERNMENT IS IN YOUR DEBT.
THE SIGNING OF THE MUTUAL-AID PACT WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED EXCEPT FOR YOUR EXCEPTIONAL BRAVERY.
WELL, THANK YOU, AMBASSADOR, BUT BRAVERY IS MY BUSINESS.
THEREFORE IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO AWARD YOU OUR COUNTRIES HIGHEST DECORATION.
THE LEGION OF HONOR.
- SMART, BRILLIANT.
- THANK YOU.
- MAXWELL, I'M PROUD OF YOU.
- THANK YOU, CHIEF.
THANK YOU, WINDISH.
MAX AND GET A POUND OF PEACHES.
OUR IMMUNITY IS JUST ABOUT-- UP.
( theme music playing )
F.
B.
600 HAS JUST BEEN DEVELOPED BY OUR ARMORY, 86.
IT COSTS $32,000.
- $32,000? - RIGHT.
( whistles ) HOW MANY MILES DO YOU GET TO THE GALLON, CHIEF? THIS IS A TRIUMPH OF AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING AND THE MOST INGENIOUSLY CONCEIVED FIGHTING MACHINE IN EXISTENCE.
THE HORN MECHANISM OPERATES TWO .
50 CALIBER MACHINE GUNS MOUNTED IN THE RADIATOR.
UH, WHAT'S THIS, CHIEF? THAT'S A RADAR-OPERATED TRACKING DEVICE.
UH, CHIEF, HOW MUCH CAN YOU GIVE ME ON MY OLD CAR? YOU PULL THE LIGHT SWITCH OUT AND TURN IT TO THE LEFT, THE CAR SENDS OUT A HIGH-FREQUENCY EMERGENCY SIGNAL.
UH, WHAT'S THIS, CHIEF? I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK IT'S THE WINDSHIELD WASHER.
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAX, YOU HAVE THE NEWEST, MOST EFFICIENT WEAPON IN THE SERVICE.
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? UH, CHIEF, COULD I SEE IT IN A TAN? - ( alarm blaring ) - HALT! SAUNDERS! THAT MAN BROKE INTO THE LABORATORY AND STOLE THE IMMOBILO! - WHAT'S THE IMMOBILO? - IT'S A NEW DRUG, LET'S GET HIM.
CHIEF! LET'S TAKE THE CAR.
I THINK HE'S HEADED FOR THE MAIN GATE.
WE'LL CUT HIM OFF.
( engine stalls ) - $32,000! - ( engine roars ) ( brakes screech ) I'D BETTER GIVE THEM A LITTLE HONK, CHIEF.
- NO! - ( machine guns firing ) ( theme music playing ) WHEN HE TURNED THAT CORNER I KNEW I HAD HIM, SIR.
SOLID WALL ON EITHER SIDE, LOCKED 10' GATE - AND THEN HE DID IT.
- DID WHAT, HASKELL? JUMPED THE FENCE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER, SIR, BUT I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES.
IT WAS A SWARTHY FELLOW, LATIN TYPE.
HE WAS CARRYING SOMETHING, PROBABLY A BOTTLE.
MAX, DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO JUMP OVER A FENCE LIKE THAT? WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
STAND BACK.
Chief: YOU MEAN, YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO JUMP IT? WELL, IF I CAN'T DO IT, CHANCES ARE NOBODY CAN.
YOU SEE, I HAPPEN TO BE THE THREE-TIME WINNER OF THE SPY SCHOOL GOLD MEDAL FOR HIGH JUMPING.
UH, CHIEF, I'LL NEED AN "ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO.
" ON YOUR MARK, GET SET-- WAIT A MINUTE CHIEF, I'M NOT IN POSITION YET.
ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO! DIDN'T I DO IT RIGHT? WELL, CHIEF, YOUR "ON YOUR MARK" AND "GO" WERE MARVELOUS, BUT YOUR "GET SET" NEEDS A LITTLE WORK.
- I HAD A FEELING YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IT.
- ON YOUR MARK! GET SET, GO! CHIEF, NO ORDINARY HUMAN BEING COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST, MAX? YOU THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE WORK OF A VERY CLEVER ANIMAL? Chief: MORNING, WINDISH.
- I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
- ANYTHING NEW? WHOEVER STOLE THAT DRUG CUT HIS HAND ON THE DOOR HERE.
THAT'S ABOUT ALL.
I'M GONNA USE THE HOTLINE TO MY OFFICE AND TELL HODGKINS I'M HERE.
HELLO, HODGKINS, THIS IS THE CHIEF.
I'M DOWN AT THE LAB.
RIGHT.
OH, PROFESSOR, I BELIEVE YOU KNOW 86.
UH, OF COURSE, THE WELL-KNOWN SECRET AGENT.
- ( phone ringing ) - NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SMART.
- IT'S MY HOTLINE.
- UH, I'LL GET IT FOR YOU, CHIEF.
WRONG PHONE.
THIS IS THE CHIEF.
YES, HODGKINS.
THANK YOU, HODGKINS.
RIGHT.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT THAT.
SHE'S TRIED TO REACH US THREE TIMES AND BROKE CONTACT EACH TIME.
- WHERE IS SHE? - WE PLANTED HER IN NAHARANA'S DANCE TROUPE YESTERDAY MORNING.
THEY ARE HERE ON A TWO-WEEKS CULTURAL EXCHANGE TOUR.
NAHARANA REPRESENTS A FACTION IN HIS COUNTRY THAT IS NOT FAVORABLY INCLINED TO OUR GOVERNMENT.
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
EMILIO NAHARANA-- - ISN'T HE THE WORLD-FAMOUS BALLET DANCER? - CORRECT.
ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? NO, CHIEF, I'M THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING.
EMILIO NAHARANA, POTENTIAL ENEMY TO OUR COUNTRY.
- SWARTHY LATIN TYPE.
- AND ONE OF THE LASTOF THEWORLD'S GREAT LEAPERS.
MAYBE 99 HAS FOUND OUT SOMETHING.
BUT WHY WOULD HE WANT IMMOBILO? WINDISH, ONE QUESTION.
JUST WHAT IS IMMOBILO AND HOW DOES IT WORK? ACTUALLY, THAT'S TWO QUESTIONS.
HE'S BRIGHT.
I LIKE THAT.
- GO ON, WINDISH.
- IMMOBILO IS A RELATIVELY HARMLESS DRUG WHICH WHEN INJECTED SUBCUTANEOUSLY PUTS ITS VICTIM INTO A TEMPORARY STATE OF PARALYSIS.
TURNS HIM INTO A STATUE.
A STATUE? - I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THAT-- - NOW WATCH OUT, SMART-- OH, MY.
- HE'S GIVEN HIMSELF AN INJECTION - NO HARM.
A LITTLE BLOOD.
- BUT IT'S ONLY A SMALL AMOUNT.
- MY FINGERS ARE WORKING.
WHY DOESN'T THE DRUG WORK, WINDISH? IT DOES.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT IT HASN'T WORKED ON.
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
- OH, SEE FOR YOURSELF, CHIEF.
ONE LITTLE STAB WITH THIS HATPIN AND YOU'RE EXACTLY THE WAY YOU WERE BEFORE.
CHIEF? CHIEF? IS HE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT? HE'LL BE FINE.
- HMM.
- WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, SMART? I'M WONDERING JUST HOW FAR I CAN RUN IN 30 SECONDS.
WHAT PUZZLES ME IS YOUR IMMUNITY.
- WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? - BREAKFAST? UH, LET'S SEE.
I HAD A BOLOGNA SANDWICH, RICE PUDDING, - LASAGNA AND A PEACH.
- RAW? OF COURSE NOT, WINDISH, I WAS WEARING A BATHROBE.
NO, THE PEACH! - OH, THE PEACH WAS RAW.
- THAT'S IT.
PEACH FUZZ CONTAINS AMINO ALKALIS WHICH WOULD GIVE YOU AN IMMUNITY TO IMMOBILO.
ANSWER ME, WINDISH, WHY DOESN'T THE DRUG WORK? - BUT IT DID WORK.
YOU WERE OUT FOR A WHOLE MINUTE.
- I WAS? YES, YOU FORGOT TO EAT A PEACH.
- I WHAT? - IT SEEMS THAT A PEACH GIVES ONE AN IMMUNITY.
NOW YOU SEE, CHIEF, BEFORE I STAB YOU AGAIN YOU HAVE TO GET UNDRESSED, GET INTO A BATHROBE AND EAT A RAW PEACH.
GIVE ME THAT HATPIN.
NO NO NO.
JUST PUT IT DOWN ON THE TABLE AND STAY AWAY FROM ME.
- NOW THIS IS WHAT I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO.
- WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
ISN'T THIS TOP SECRET? YES.
WELL, DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD BE WISE TO SPEAK IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE? ALL RIGHT.
FRENCH.
FRENCH? GOSH, CHIEF, EVERYBODY SPEAKS FRENCH.
WHY DON'T WE SPEAK IN SWAHILI? AS YOU WISH.
MAHANI GANGA-GE.
- GANGA-GE? - MM-HMM.
- I THOUGHT IT WAS GANGA-GI.
- NO, GANGA-GE.
OH, THAT'S STRANGE.
I THOUGHT IT WAS "GI" AFTER "GANGA" UNLESS IT CAME BEFORE "GU.
" OKAY, BUT DON'T GO TOO FAST.
AND IN CASE ANYBODY AROUND I THINK WE SHOULD GO IN THERE.
( gunshots ) OKAY, CHIEF, I THINK WE CAN TALK WITH PRIVACY HERE.
MAX, 99 IS WITH THE NAHARANA DANCE TROUPE AT THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY.
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE A DANCE RECITAL TONIGHT FOR THE AMBASSADOR.
- ( gunshots ) - GOOD, THEN SHE'LL BE ABLE TO TELL US IF NAHARANA WAS MISSING FROM THE TROUPE WHEN THE IMMOBILO WAS STOLEN.
SO, YOU SEE IN THAT WAY, CHIEF, I THINK IT WILL BE A ( gunshots ) - RIGHT, CHIEF? - RIGHT.
NOW, I'LL NEED AN AGENT TO STAY IN CONTACT WITH HER.
YOU GOT HIM, CHIEF, THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS.
NO, MAX, I THINK I'D LIKE YOU TO DO THIS.
- WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE-- - ( gunshots ) SO, THAT'S THE WAY IT LOOKS TO ME.
RIGHT.
NOW I DON'T WANT YOU TO CARRY A GUN IN THIS CASE BECAUSE THEY MIGHT FRISK YOU AND THAT'LL BE A DEAD GIVEAWAY.
BUT I DO WANT YOU TO HAVE SOME PROTECTION.
LET'S GO BACK TO WINDISH.
( gunshots ) WINDISH, WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
I DON'T WANT 86 TO CARRY A GUN ON THIS CASE-- AH SMART, I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU THIS RING.
WELL, I CAN'T TAKE IT.
I HARDLY KNOW YOU.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! NOW THIS RING IS FILLED WITH A LARGE DOSE OF IMMOBILO.
THE LITTLE NEEDLE IN THE BASE WILL INJECT THE FLUID.
OH WELL, THANK YOU, WINDISH.
WELL, CHIEF, I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
YOU CAN DEPEND ON ME.
MAX, I-- UH-OH, I DID IT AGAIN.
LISTEN, WINDISH, WHEN THE CHIEF COMES TO-- WINDISH? UH-OH.
WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT? I'M HERE TO FIX THE AIR CONDITIONING.
WE HAVE NO AIR CONDITIONER.
OH, YES OF COURSE.
HOW STUPID OF ME, UH-- I MEANT THE ELEVATOR.
- THERE IS NO ELEVATOR.
- NO ELEVATOR.
WELL, I WAS ONLY KIDDING AROUND.
I'M THE PLUMBER.
THE PLUMBING IS FINE.
HMM.
WELL, TELL ME, IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ANYTHING AROUND HERE? YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT WE HAVE A SHORT CIRCUIT IN THE WIRING.
NOW TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - I'M HERE TO FIX THE WIRING.
- GOOD GOOD.
THERE'S A SHORT CIRCUIT IN THE WIRING.
YES, WELL, THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
"NO"?! DON'T TELL ME "NO"! NOBODY SAYS "NO" TO NAHARANA! THE NEXT ONE WHO SAYS "NO" WILL SUFFER! WHO IS THAT PERSON? THAT IS THE ELECTRICIAN, SIR.
"THE ELECTRICIAN, SIR.
" WHERE IS SENOR JULIO, THE AMBASSADOR'S SECRETARY? - I DO NOT KNOW, SIR.
- THEN FIND HIM.
I MUST SEE THE AMBASSADOR IMMEDIATELY.
( door bells rings ) AH! SENOR JULIO, THE MAESTRO HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
HE'S ANXIOUS TO TALK TO THE AMBASSADOR.
THE AMBASSADOR WILL SEE NO ONE UNTIL AFTER THE PACT HAS BEEN SIGNED.
THIS IS 99 CALLING CONTROL, OVER.
HELLO 99, THIS IS 86.
CAN YOU HEAR ME? OVER.
OH, I READ YOU LOUD AND CLEAR 86.
I THINK THEY'RE ONTO ME, OVER.
DON'T WORRY, 99, I'LL FIND YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU?OVER.
I'M IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY.
WHERE ARE YOU? OVER.
YES, I KNOW YOU ARE IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY.
I'M IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY TOO.
BUT JUST WHERE IN THE PINEROVIAN EMBASSY ARE YOU? OVER.
UH, I'M IN SMALL ROOM ON THE FIRST FLOOR FULL OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, OVER.
IS THERE A BASS FIDDLE IN THE ROOM? OVER.
YES, THERE IS.
OVER.
IS THERE A BASS DRUM IN THE ROOM? OVER.
OH, YES THERE IS, OVER.
NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY AND DO EXACTLY WHAT I TELL YOU, 99.
GET UP VERY SLOWLY AND LOOK OVER THE DRUM.
DO YOU SEE A DARK-HAIRED MAN IN A WHITE SUIT? ( whispering ) YES, I DO.
DON'T BE SCARED, 99.
I THINK IT'S ME.
- MAX! - 99! WHY HAVE YOU BEEN BREAKING CONTACT WITH CONTROL? IT'S NAHARANA.
HE KEEPS US DANCING EVERY MINUTE.
- EVERY TIME-- - NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT, 99.
WE THINK THAT NAHARANA STOLE A DRUG CALLED IMMOBILO FROM CONTROL HEADQUARTERS.
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS, HAS NAHARANA BEEN MISSING FROM THE TROUPE AT ANY TIME DURING THE PAST 12 HOURS? YES, HE LEFT AT 9:00 AND HE CAME BACK AT 11:30.
HMM, THAT FIGURES.
DID YOU NOTICE ANYTHING UNUSUAL OR DIFFERENT ABOUT HIM WHEN HE RETURNED? NO OH, WAIT, YES! HE HAD A BANDAGE TIED AROUND HIS RIGHT INDEX FINGER.
OF COURSE, THAT'S PERFECT.
NAHARANA IS OUR MAN.
COME HERE, 99.
I WANT YOU TO EAT THIS PEACH.
OH, PEACH-- UM, I DON'T LIKE PEACHES, MAX, DO YOU HAVE A BANANA? NO, EAT A PEACH, 99.
I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.
WHY WOULD NAHARANA WANT THE IMMOBILO? WELL, I'M NOT SURE, BUT I THINK HE PLANS TO USE IT ON SOMEONE AND IT'S UP TO US TO FIND OUT WHO AND WHEN.
- "WHOM.
" - WHOM? - ARE YOU SURE, 99? - I'M POSITIVE.
WHOM AND WHEN? THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT TO ME.
BUT "WHOM" IS THE OBJECTIVE.
IF YOU USE "WHO" THAT'S THE SUBJECT-- ( gasps ) ( whispers ) THAT MUST BE NAHARANA.
WHO IS IN THERE? UH-- JUST A MINUTE PLEASE, I'M DRESSING.
WELL WELL, HURRY UP THERE, WE HAVE NEED OF THIS CHAMBER.
HURRY UP IN THERE! - HURRY UP, COME ON OUT.
- MAX, LOOK, THE DRUM.
I'D LIKE TO HANDLE THIS.
- ( knocks ) - 99, I CAN HIDE BEHIND THE DRUM.
- RIGHT.
THEY'LL SEE YOU THERE.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO CUT MY WAY INSIDE OF IT.
( knocks ) HURRY UP IN THERE! HURRY UP! - UH, IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW.
- BACK TO REHEARSAL.
JULIO, COME INSIDE.
OH, SHUT THE DOOR, SHUT THE DOOR.
TELL ME QUICKLY, TELL ME EVERYTHING.
- THEY HAVE CHANGED THE TIME FOR THE SIGNING OF THE PACT.
- WHAT? INSTEAD OF THIS EVENING THEY ARE SIGNING IT THIS AFTERNOON.
THE AMERICAN AMBASSADOR IS ON HIS WAY NOW.
AND THE PACT MUST BE SIGNED BEFORE 4:00.
BEFORE 4:00?! THAT IS IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES.
WE MUST ACT NOW! - BUT-- BUT MAESTRO-- - OH, "BUT BUT BUT.
" ALWAYS WITH YOU THIS "BUT BUT BUT.
" NO BUTS! NO BUTS! IF THAT MUTUAL TRADE PACT IS SIGNED AND THE UNITED STATES PROVIDES JOBS FOR OUR PEOPLE, THEY WILL NOT NEED US, NO-- WE CAN OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT ONLY WHEN THE PEOPLE ARE POOR - ( drum sounds ) - TIRED AND HUNGRY! WE'RE TO KILL THE AMBASSADOR? NO NO, WE MUST NOT MAKE A MARTYR OF HIM.
BESIDES, KILLING HIM WOULD DO NO GOOD.
THE UNITED STATES WOULD SIMPLY EXTEND THE PACT UNTIL OUR COUNTRY COULD SEND ANOTHER AMBASSADOR TO SIGN IT.
WHAT DO WE DO? DON HERNANDO IS WAITING THERE RIGHT NOW, READY TO SIGN.
YOU MUST GET ME IN TO SEE HIM.
I WILL CONVINCE HIM TO DELAY THE SIGNING OF THE PACT UNTIL WE HAVE DANCED THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF OUR COUNTRY.
THAT WAY IT WILL GIVE ME TIME TO DEVISE A WAY TO INJECT HIM WITH THE IMMOBILO.
AND THEN YOU WILL GO TO THE UNITED STATES AMBASSADOR AND SAY THAT WE HAVE DECIDED NOT TO SIGN.
THE PACT WILL BE VOID - AND WE WILL TAKE OVER OUR COUNTRY! - ( drum sounds ) - NO TIME TO LOSE.
- OH, INCIDENTALLY.
.
- THAT REPAIRMAN.
- WHAT REPAIRMAN? WELL, DID YOU NOT SEND FOR A REPAIRMAN? - NO.
- YOU DIDN'T? WELL, THEN LOOK FOR A MAN IN WHITE OVERALLS.
DETAIN HIM! IF YOU HAVE TO, KILL HIM! ( drum sounds ) LET'S GO! MAX, WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT? I FOUND OUT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT, 99.
- WHAT IS IT, MAX? - A HUMAN BEING CAN'T LIVE IN A BASS DRUM.
BUT WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THEIR PLANS? WELL, NAHARANA PLANS TO GET VERY CLOSE TO THE AMBASSADOR AND INJECT HIM WITH BOOM-BOOM-- EH, IMMOBILO.
OH, WELL, HOW IS HE GONNA DO IT? WHAT'S HE GONNA USE? WELL, I'M NOT QUITE SURE, GET OUT OF THIS UNIFORM OR I'M A DEAD REPAIRMAN.
WAIT! I THINK THEY'RE COMING BACK.
QUICK! GET BACK IN THE DRUM! UH, 99-- I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.
WHY DON'T WE JUST GIVE OURSELVES UP? QUICK! OH, I'M SORRY, I MUST BE IN THE WRONG ROOM.
OH, UH-- WAIT! UH, COME ON IN.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE JUST LIKE YOU.
UH, HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH? AH.
AND HOW TALL ARE YOU? ABOUT 5'9".
UH-HUH, THAT'S JUST ABOUT PERFECT.
WELL, IT'S NOT PERFECT.
HI, THERE.
I'M SECRET AGENT 86.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? IMMOBILO IN THIS RING.
THAT'S MARVELOUS.
NOW YOU'D BETTER GET OUTSIDE BEFORE THEY MISS YOU.
- I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS UNIFORM.
- RIGHT.
WHO ARE YOU? SECRET AGENT 86.
VERY GOOD GIRLS! VERY GOOD! NOW HURRY! UPSTAIRS ALL OF YOU! HURRY HURRY HURRY, HURRY HURRY HURRY.
VERY GOOD.
YOU TOO, GENTLEMEN.
YOU ARE TO DANCE THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
WAIT A MOMENT, I WANT TO FIND OUT SOMETHING.
EACH ONE OF YOU EXECUTE A LEAP.
YEAH, THAT IS A DANCER.
THAT IS A DANCER.
THAT IS A DANCER.
WAIT, YOU! A LEAP AND SPLIT.
AFTER HIM! AFTER HIM! AFTER HIM! SENOR PARKERSON, I WILL SIGN THE PACT WHEN NAHARANA HAS DANCED OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM.
- BUT YOUR EXCELLENCY-- - A CUSTOM OF OUR COUNTRY.
YOUR EXCELLENCY! YOU MUST EAT THIS PEACH BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I'M A SECRET AGENT, I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU.
A SECRET AGENT? WHERE ARE YOUR CREDENTIALS? UH, MY CREDENTIALS-- WELL, I LEFT THEM IN MY MUSTACHE KIT, BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'VE GOT TO EAT THIS PEACH.
YOU'LL SAVE YOUR COUNTRY IF YOU DO.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU MAD? AND HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THIS IMPORTANT OCCASION? - WHO IS THIS FOOLISH DANCER? - DANCER? I'M NO DANCER, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
LOOK, I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
MAYBE I AM A DANCER.
IT WAS A MISTAKE, YOUR EXCELLENCY, I'VE NEVER DONE IT THAT GOOD BEFORE.
JULIO, WHO IS THIS PERSON? HE CLAIMS TO BE A SECRET AGENT.
AND HE SAYS IF I DON'T EAT THE PEACH, OUR COUNTRY IS IN DANGER.
Emilio: OH, I AM SO SORRY SENOR AMBASSADOR.
HE IS PART OF MY TROUPE.
TWO DAYS AGO, YOU SEE, HE SUFFERED A VERY BAD NERVOUS BREAKDOWN AND THE BOY IS NOT YET HIMSELF.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM, DON'T WORRY.
- HERE, TAKE CARE OF THIS MAN AND TAKE HIM AWAY! - BUT, YOUR EXCELLENCY! BUT THEY'RE LYING, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
- TAKE HIM AWAY! - NO, DON'T LET THEM TAKE HIM AWAY! HE IS A SECRET AGENT.
HIS NUMBER IS 86, I'M NUMBER 99-- LISTEN, THIS POOR LITTLE GIRL, SHE'S HIS WIFE, YOU SEE.
IT'S BEEN SO MUCH FOR HER TO SEE HER HUSBAND CRUMBLE BEFORE HER VERY EYES.
- NO, MR.
PARKERSON! - JULIO, TAKE AWAY THIS UNFORTUNATE PERSON.
DON HERNANDO, WITH YOUR PERMISSION I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM HERE UNTIL I CHECK OUT THEIR STORY.
AS YOU WISH.
BUT THERE MUST BE ABSOLUTE SILENCE UNTIL THE FORMALITIES ARE OVER.
PLEASE! FORGIVE ME, EMILIO, BUT WE CAN WAIT NO LONGER.
- I'M GOING TO SIGN THE PACT.
-Emilio: AS YOU WOULD WISH, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
I WOULD HOWEVER BE MUCH HONORED IF, WHEN YOU ARE SIGNING THE TREATY, YOU WOULD USE THE HUMBLE PEN OF EMILIO NAHARANA.
OF COURSE, IF IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.
- THAT'S IT! THE IMMOBILO MUST BE IN THE PEN.
- YOU'RE RIGHT! YOUR PEN SEEMS TO HAVE RUN OUT OF INK.
IT'S A BALLPOINT.
JUST PRESS DOWN THE LITTLE BUTTON-- YOUR EXCELLENCY, DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON! YOU'LL BE PARALYZED! UH, THAT'S NONSENSE! THIS MAN HAS TAKEN LEAVE OF HIS SENSES! IF THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT PEN, EMILIO NAHARANA, THEN WHY DON'T YOU LET ME JAB YOU WITH IT? - OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS! JULIO, TAKE HIM AWAY! - WAIT! EMILIO, IF THIS MAN IS AN IMPOSTER, WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO TOUCH THE PEN, HUH? UH, YOU WEAK, STUPID LITTLE FOOL, HOW DARE YOU MAKE TREATIES WITH THE DECADENT DEMOCRACIES! I WAS ONLY GOING TO PARALYZE YOU.
NOW YOU DIE! WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN? WELL, IT ONLY GOES TO PROVE ONE THING, YOUR EXCELLENCY-- THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD.
SENOR SMART, MY GOVERNMENT IS IN YOUR DEBT.
THE SIGNING OF THE MUTUAL-AID PACT WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED EXCEPT FOR YOUR EXCEPTIONAL BRAVERY.
WELL, THANK YOU, AMBASSADOR, BUT BRAVERY IS MY BUSINESS.
THEREFORE IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO AWARD YOU OUR COUNTRIES HIGHEST DECORATION.
THE LEGION OF HONOR.
- SMART, BRILLIANT.
- THANK YOU.
- MAXWELL, I'M PROUD OF YOU.
- THANK YOU, CHIEF.
THANK YOU, WINDISH.
MAX AND GET A POUND OF PEACHES.
OUR IMMUNITY IS JUST ABOUT-- UP.
( theme music playing )