Getting On (2013) s01e05 Episode Script

1 ( Beeping ) ( mouse clicking ) Crap.
( Ticking ) Didi: I love these I just hate having to unwrap each one.
( Snores ) Mrs.
Abbot.
Dr.
Cho finally faxed his approval for your sleeping pill.
It's a Trazodone.
You want to wake up and take your sleeping pill? Season 1, Episode 5 "Nightshift" Didi: My mama goes down to her lawyer, walks away with a check for $50,000.
Won a lawsuit.
( Phone ringing ) I lent her $5,000 once.
You think I'mma see it? Hardly.
Marguerite: No.
No no, you can't go.
If you go, then who's gonna look after Maria? No, I can't come and get her.
I'm at work.
No, I can't.
( Sighs ) Adam, darn it, just fine.
Um, I'm so sorry, but it's an emergency and there's no one else to babysit her.
No, go get your life straightened out.
It's a quiet night.
Thank you.
Yeah, I just lost another graveyarder.
Can you send someone else? No, I'm not in a rush.
( Sniffs ) ( Siren wailing ) Why don't you get out of here and get yourself a couple hours of real sleep, you know? ( woman coughs ) - I'll call you if there are any changes.
- Oh gosh, no.
- You sure? - Okay.
Thank you.
( Sighs ) All right.
I'm out of here.
Yeah.
Actually, we do have a free bed.
Mm-hmm.
Have Antoine bring her over.
Okay, bye-bye.
She's on the night shift.
There's your girl.
Gonna be some sweet sound Coming down On the night shift.
You know that's right.
Better than going nuts in the nuthouse during the day.
That's for sure.
All right, this young lady is Ingrid Larsen, on vacation from Sweden.
She was admitted for sunstroke, but then they gave her a stress test and angiogram, and now she's here to stay with you until she gets a bypass and a stent on Tuesday.
Oh, what a horrible vacation.
I usually just get diarrhea.
I'm Nurse Ortley and I'm pleased to meet you.
( Speaks Swedish ) Disneyland.
( Speaks Swedish ) go to Knott's Berry Farm.
No no, honey.
You've got to be quiet.
Everybody's sleeping.
( Speaking Swedish ) Nobody's gonna take your bra.
( Speaks Swedish ) No, I'm not gonna frisk you.
I've just got to get you over here, okay? - ( Speaks Swedish ) - Shh shh.
I'm gonna need you I'm gonna lay you back.
This is gonna be your bed till Tuesday, okay? Your hair is pretty.
Come on.
- You good? - Yeah.
( Speaks Swedish ) Okay.
( Speaks Swedish ) A doctor, yes.
( Speaks Swedish ) - A big doctor hit you in the stomach? - Birdy: Yoo-hoo! Hello? Okay, I'm gonna be right back.
- Yoo-hoo! - Didi: Shh shh.
- Coming.
- Honey, honey.
- Yes, Miss Birdy? - Could I please have a glass of water? Yes, ma'am.
It's empty.
I'm gonna go refill this and I'll be right back, okay? - All right.
- Sissy: Nurse? - What is it, Sissy? - My arm is throbbing.
Oh gosh.
Okay.
Let me see.
Mrs.
Sullivan: Phyllis? I need to change your IV line.
- Mrs.
Sullivan: Phyllis? - I'll be right back, okay? Oh, no no no.
No no no no, Mrs.
Sullivan.
You have to stay in the bed, okay? Let's get back in here.
It's okay.
She'll be back.
It's okay.
You know what? Here's her sweater.
How about that? You want to hold onto her sweater? I want Darcy.
Okay, ma'am.
The cat ain't here.
Here's his picture.
Okay? You gotta stay in this bed.
Don't climb back out.
How are things going on getting me someone? Yeah, or just an agency nurse.
I mean, anyone.
- Mrs.
Sullivan: I want Darcy.
- Yeah, 'cause I could sure use the help.
Oh my God.
How long has she been like this? - Didi: I don't know.
- Well, what does "I don't know" mean? I was just with her.
I don't know.
Get another pole.
We need to start another line.
- Has she had surgery recently? - She had a colon re-section last week.
- This is not good.
- No shit, Sherlock.
Sissy Bowler.
No no no.
Bo-Bowler.
Bowler with a "B.
" No sir.
Sir, you did her colon re-section last week.
Hell Dr.
Stickley? Hello? I don't know why you felt like you couldn't just wait in the car.
I'm gonna be two minutes.
I don't know why you're so angry.
He didn't know.
Yes, he did know, Richard.
You were wildly inappropriate.
If you have something on your mind, just go ahead and say it.
There's nothing on my mind.
It's just it was an important dinner to me.
I desperately want that Cleveland job.
Hector Rabinowitz is not some idiot, and you wouldn't stop talking about my pubic hair.
- He didn't know.
- Yes, he knew.
All I said was we had a huge overgrown bush in desperate need of trimming.
He thought we were talking about topiary.
It wasn't funny then, it's not funny now.
So now that we're here, sit down.
I'll take a look at your foot.
This closet is your office? - Tiny lot a little dump, isn't it? - Yes, it is.
Give me your foot.
Ow.
Oh, for heaven sakes, Richard.
How could you let it get this ingrown? - I packed it with cotton.
- Well, I can't do this at home.
I have to do it here.
I have to get my instruments of torture.
I have to resection the nail bed back to the matrix.
Ooh, Dr.
James.
I'm glad you're here.
No no! Jenna, Jenna! Jenna, come on.
J.
J.
, come on.
- Didi: Dr.
James - Nurse Ortley, just ignore us.
My husband and I were out to dinner, he has an ingrown toenail.
Don't open the door and let him out no matter how much he begs.
Sissy Bowler is in trouble.
She's bleeding badly.
Could you take a look at her? Yeah.
She's Dr.
Stickley's patient, right? - Did you call him? - Yes, I think he's drunk.
Is the whole world drunk tonight? All right.
Excuse me.
Okay, it's post-operative hypovolemic shock.
You Yvonne.
Yes, please, can you call the blood bank? Order six units.
Infuse a liter of Ringer's lactate in the meantime.
- Got it.
Right away.
- Would you please, Raul? Could you recheck her warfarin levels? - Yeah, sure.
- Right away.
- Has an endoscopy been set up? - No.
Okay, do that as well for me, please.
- Yep.
- Immediately.
I'm on it.
Has Gastroenterology been to see her yet? - Didi: No, I called.
He's coming.
- Okay.
Call the hospital as well and alert them we may have a bounce-back headed their way.
Didi: Bed one is Ingrid Larsen, visiting from Sweden.
They found some heart issues.
Welcome to our country, Ingrid Larsen.
( Ingrid speaking Swedish ) She doesn't speak English.
Now her son does, but I can't find him.
Well, I mean, I know "smorgasbord" and "pepparkakor.
" Pepparkakor, a special holiday treat? Pepparkakor cookies? All right.
I don't speak Swedish.
I speak a little bit of German.
Do you speak German by any chance? Willkommen? - Valkommen.
- So is that Swedish? See that's very close, so I think that German might be our best bet.
( Speaks German ) ( speaking Swedish ) ( speaks German ) ( sighs ) Yeah - Hi.
- Hi Hey, you're the one whose husband did the cement in our driveway, right? Yeah, I'm I'm that one.
Thanks.
Darnell appreciated the work and so did I.
He did a fine job.
No, hey, wait.
Can can you can you let me out? - Mmm, I don't I don't think so.
- Come on, please? Please? I I can't breathe in here.
I'm having a medical emergency from the junk and the mold.
Look, my wife locked me up because I drank too much, and I have a big mouth and she's afraid I'm gonna say something and embarrass her.
But I won't, I promise.
( Clicks tongue ) ( Lock clicks ) Thank you.
( Chuckles ) Thank you.
Hey, you wanna know what we were arguing about? - No sir, I do not.
- All right, fair enough.
Oh good good good.
You've got someone.
Okay, great.
Thank you.
( Whirs ) - Dawn: Hi.
- Dawn? - Dawn, what what are you doing here? - Oh, the agency just called.
I just I've been doing some moonlighting.
- I need the extra cash, but it's okay.
- Dawn, what It's okay.
God, Patsy's a complete asshole.
- Dawn.
- He's such an asshole.
- You're drunk, aren't you? - Okay, we went out, and he says he wants to be with me, but not like that.
- Do you know what I mean? - Shh.
Hey.
- You should go home.
- So what is that? - "What is that?" is what I wanna know.
- Okay, you should go home.
'Cause I wan I wanna know.
I wanted to know.
- I want you to go home.
- It's not fair.
You know what? I must matter to him because he talks to me all the t - Oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Okay.
- He talks to me all the time.
- Okay, come here.
- He wouldn't do that if I didn't matter.
- Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit - I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Okay.
Down! Shh! - I'll just I'll get my uniform.
- No.
No.
No.
I don't need you to help me do that.
( whispers ) - He does love me.
He said he loves me - Sit.
Sit down.
But he doesn't love me.
What he said is that he's not in love with me, but that he sort of loves me.
( Door whirs ) - I'ma call a ca - This was like 15 minutes ago.
Okay, Dawn.
( laughs ) - Don't show anybody that.
- Do you know what it is? - Don't show anybody that.
- Do you know it? - Okay, no.
Stop.
- I wish it was a scratch and sniff.
- Stop.
- So you could smell it.
( Crying ) I mean, if he didn't like me, then why would he even talk to me? I mean, he wouldn't talk to me, would he? You're gonna wake everybody up.
( Crying ) I got a lot of work to do, okay? Right now Sissy Bowler bled out.
- I got I got - Oh God, I love Mrs.
Bowler.
- Yeah, me too.
- You can't save everyone.
- Okay.
Okay.
- You can't.
I'll do it.
I can help.
- No no no.
No no no.
- Let me get my no, I'll do it.
- You don't - Sit down.
I am in charge of you tonight.
No, I am in charge, 'cause I'm the head nurse.
- No, dear.
No, I am your boss tonight.
- But I'm in charge.
You're an agency nurse tonight.
I'm your boss.
I'm on staff here.
You're very funny.
- Dawn - ( Sniffles ) Who's that? - Dr.
James.
- What is she doing here? Talking about some pepper-cocksucker cookies or something.
Her husband's over there.
Dawn: I could really use something to eat Okay, let me do that.
then I will be a-okay.
- Okay, let me get you something.
- Ready to rock.
What part of "I'll do it" don't you understand? - I'll do it.
- Yeah.
( singing ) Must be something to eat.
Didi: Okay, I'm gonna get you some coffee and you're gonna drink it.
- Okay? - ( Crying ) Yeah.
You just you gotta stop being consumed by all of this.
- I know.
Yeah.
- Let him fly away.
If it's meant to be, you know, he'll come back.
My mama always say you can't keep a man who don't wanna be kept.
And all this crying and wai ( sighs ) ( footsteps approaching ) Shoot.
Oh Jesus.
Okay, everything is squared away with Mrs.
Bowler and with the Swedish woman.
- Is that Dawn? - Uh-huh, yeah, umm, yeah.
- What's she doing here? - Uh, saying hi.
- Oh, look, there she goes.
- She's so strong and fit.
She's like someone's lovely Swedish nana.
She needs a tight little bun.
( chuckles ) - Hey.
- You let him out.
I've gotten rid of four long-extinct monitors.
Jenna: No no no no.
No, Richard, don't mess with my mess.
I'm about to take all that pile of detritus next to you desk.
I don't want you cleaning out my office.
What is going on with you tonight? Get off that foot.
You'll get that even more infected.
Oh! Clearly you need a little booty.
Nurse, would you mind getting him a little booty? Jenna, your office doesn't have to be some dank stinkhole.
You don't have to try to prove some point.
- Stay stay.
- Well, maybe it suits me just fine.
All right? Everybody says that women are vain about shoes, but men are too, just as much.
And to the detriment of all of our toes male and female.
Just admit that you wear a size 13.
Oh my.
She is very agile.
My good God.
How are you able to do that at your age? Do you practice? Do you eat chicken? Or duck and herring? Salmon? Some sort of fish roe? You don't know what I'm saying.
I'm going to make you a famous research subject.
More famous even than Sabina Spielrein.
May I do a quick examination? ( Beeping ) Hey, Dawn.
- Hey, Richard.
- Hey.
- I won your museum basket, you know.
- I heard.
Hey, is is Jenna ever happy here? Dawn: I don't know.
I can't get this timer to work.
I'm trying to do three minutes.
- This just doesn't work.
- All right, here here here.
You gonna do it? Richard, when a guy says ( beeping ) How can you love someone but not be in love with them? - Who are we talking about? - Maybe that is none of your business.
- ( Laughs ) Well, it is now.
- I just don't understand.
Oh, Dawn.
You know he told me that he doesn't love me.
I'm gonna just borrow this for That's what he said.
But then he says that it's like That it's yes, it's all on and-and he loves me, and then it's fucking not.
I mean it's just off.
You know? It's like all these all these women in here, who have no one in the world, they have no children, they have no husbands and I just do not want to eat dinner by myself forever.
- I just I don't want to be alone.
- Shh.
You got your ponytail and your whatnot, somebody's gonna appreciate all that.
( Sighs ) I happen to think I'm very attractive, and there's a lot of people who would agree with that.
( Shouting ) Hello! - Shh shh shh! Calm down, Miss Birdy.
- Anybody there? Stop shouting.
What do you need? Can I have a glass of water? Oh! I'm so sorry, okay? - I got it.
I got it, Didi.
- I'm gonna get it for you in one sec.
- I got it.
- Didi: No no no no.
No no no.
You are not even on duty right now.
I can get a fucking glass of water.
Jesus, Didi.
( phone ringing ) - Didi: Extended Care.
- How are you doing tonight? Very good.
( cellphone chimes ) ( Didi speaking ) Oh, hold on a sec.
Sorry.
Didi: Bye-bye.
Didi, he texted.
He said, "Do you have my credit card?" What do you think that means? I'm gonna text him back.
No no no.
No no no no no.
Not on the floor you're not.
Dawn: Why? He's still up, isn't he? - You need to go home, Dawn.
- Fine, I'm going.
- Go home, Dawn.
I'm going.
- Fine, I'm going.
Oh good, you got your water.
( groans ) Patsy, it's me.
I know you're there, because you just texted me.
So I'm just getting back to you.
Um ( stammers ) I know, um Listen, I know you're gay, bi or whatever, but I just I wanted to say something Because maybe we could try for a baby, because I love you.
I'd really like to have your baby.
Okay.
Bye.
( Beeps ) She's 87.
She has the vigor of an 18-year-old.
She may need a stent, but she's in here she's doing kips and pike layouts like an Olympic gymnast.
This is a major major discovery.
Jenna, come on, I'm tired.
I wanna go home now.
Honey, honey, honey, this is major.
There are so many queries and studies being done right now on obesity and diabetes and genes versus behavior.
And here I have Patient Zero of Nordic fitness falling right into my lap.
- This is an unbelievable opportunity.
- Honey.
Come on.
Honey, please, I just need to make one quick call.
What's going on here? - Has she been drinking? - A little.
Nurse Forchette, I want you off the floor.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
- Right now.
- Even socially.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, Dawn, tell me where do you keep the electric shavers? - Richard - What for? Don't they have to shave the women's pubis before surgery? Dawn: Yeah, they do that over in the hospital.
I did that once when I worked in OR.
I don't know why you are so utterly obsessed with this.
J.
J.
, I'm just joking.
( laughs ) J.
J.
, come on.
I did some pre-op catheterization too, and what I really remember is all the different types of penises.
- Dawn - But you just gotta do You just do your job.
That's what I do.
Poor Mrs.
Bowler.
- Man on phone: Hello? - Jenna: Hello? Oh, Hector.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought it would go straight to voice-mail.
- It's Jenna, Jenna James.
- Uh-huh.
I'm sorry to call so late, but we were having such a lovely dinner earlier.
And here we have the perfect specimen, yes? What are the odds? We form a control group around her, study osteo-densities.
The sky is the limit.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Okay, if her matriarchal line exhibits the same chromosomal makeup without significant deviation Just think of the spectacular statistical results that we could achieve.
Yeah, may I speak to Kevin, please? Kevin, it's Dawn.
I picked up an extra shift, so I'm down on one, if you wanna drop by.
It's Dawn.
Jenna: As luck would have it, she's having a stent put in on Tuesday.
So what I need to do is keep everything disentangled from Mount Palms, because everything becomes just so proprietary.
Hector, it's worse than that.
They've drunk the Kool-Aid.
They are so enamored of all the trivial bells and whistles.
We're doing "Make Someone Happy.
" And it's why I am so eager to come and join you in Cleveland where things are as they should be.
- Hector: As are we.
- Okay, well, then I'm thrilled and I'm thrilled to have reached you.
- And it's late and I'll say bye-bye.
- Hector: It's okay.
( Dial tone ) Oh.
Bye.
I know I got an agency nurse, but she's busy with someone else ( Dawn giggling ) and I could really use some backup now.
Can't you j ( footsteps ) Oh God, Big Bird just walked in.
I'll call you back.
Good evening.
Nurse Forchette has communicated an urgent request that I need to respond to.
She's not on duty till tomorrow morning.
Okay, now, Didi, she called me, all right? So I know she's here.
( Dawn laughing ) - Dawn: Ooh, I - Patsy: Kevin? - What is this? - Dawn: What? What? - Patsy - What the fuck is going on here? - That was nothing.
It was just a friend.
- Patsy: I don't - It was nothing.
( crying ) - What is happening to me? I don't even know who I am anymore.
- Patsy.
Patsy.
Shh shh shh! - No.
- Tell him it was nothing.
- No way.
Patsy, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
( Patsy muttering ) ( Dawn murmuring ) Patsy: No.
( Ingrid speaks Swedish ) - Woman: Who's talking?! - Dawn: Kevin is nothing.
Patsy: Oh, don't Don't you ( door slams ) ( Door whirs ) ( Man speaking Swedish ) Who are you and what are you doing here? I'm Edvin Larsen.
You have my mother.
I demand you give me my mother now.
Shh shh shh.
It's 4:00 in the morning.
No no, we I went to my consulate and brought my attaché.
Okay, but I I'm just saying we can't Honey, wait ( Edvin speaks Swedish ) - Ingrid: Edvin! - Mama! Shoot.
( Ingrid speaking Swedish ) Excuse me, Dr.
James, someone is here to collect Mrs.
Larsen.
It's the I think it's her son or some sort of Swedish counsel.
No no.
Sir, you cannot come in here in the middle of the night.
I want my mother and I'm taking her.
What's going on here? Who are you? - Hampus Nelson, attaché.
- Of what? Citizens Affairs, Swedish Consulate.
Who are you? - I am Dr.
Jenna James.
- I've gotten this man out of his bed.
- This woman is under my care.
- We don't want it.
I've been trying to free her from your care for two days.
Well, she's scheduled for surgery.
We don't want your surgery.
I want to take her home where surgery's $50, - Not $300,000.
- All right, yes.
All right, our medical-supply cartels do charge exorbitant prices for hips and pins, but we offer amenities and comforts.
We came to visit Death Valley, now we're prisoners in this hospital.
"You must post cash bond to be treated.
" "Now pay more for each test.
" "We're sending her here, sending her there.
" I hate your shitty medical system! - Okay.
- And I can't afford it! But if you take her now, she's she's just not well.
She's very very weak.
And our cardio unit is top-notch.
Who's doing her surgery? Nog? Dr.
Nog? - No no no no.
- Going now.
No, I'm sorry.
No.
You can't just walk out.
Nobody walks out.
- Doctor, thank you.
- She has to be in a chair.
Oh, I'm begging you to reconsider.
Just I'm just oh, please don't go.
Edvin: Thank you.
You still hold your scalpel like an artist.
Oh God.
Ow! God! Jenna! Shit! Ow! - Come on.
- No.
- Patsy, you're not being fair.
- Why have you done this to me? I haven't done anything to you.
What about what have you done to me? I saw you.
You made eyes at our waiter tonight.
You are so cruel.
( Whispering ) God! Will the two of you shut up?! I have had it all night long with the two of you! - He says I'm cruel.
- You humiliated me in front of Dr.
James.
This is too much.
You emasculated me in front of my nemesis.
- She doesn't know anything.
- No, you know - Dawn.
- Did you tell her? She is out to destroy me.
( mumbles ) - Stop it.
- Let me just take you to your car.
- No, don't touch me.
- Let me take you to your car.
- Get him out of here, Dawn.
- ( Crying ) Please don't touch me.
( Arguing continues ) ( sighs ) Oh God.
No, you made me feel dirty.
Knock it off! I have had it with the both of you! ( Shouting ) You know what? I've had it with you too! Why don't you just get off my back? Fuck it! Patsy: Dawn.
- Are you okay? - Patsy: Nice one! ( Crying ) Shut up.
( Mumbles ) Oh! Oooh.
Ever feel like you're on the voyage of the damned? You can't get off? I think that you and I are the only two sober people in the world tonight.
- I don't drink, myself.
- Me either.
- Not for 20 years at least.
- You had a problem? No, I just like who I am sober better than who I am when I drink.
Well, it's about life and how you handle it Isn't it? Every day we see a parade of life choices passing before us.
And early on I thought, "I will be cheerful and happy.
" And by being cheerful, happy and of the greatest service to others, I will be a pleasure to all and a bother to none.
- "And I will be happy.
" - My mother is a drunk.
So was my father.
( Richard snoring ) All right.
Honey? Sweetheart.
Wake up.
- It's time to go.
Honey.
- Mmm? - Come on.
- ( Groans ) My foot hurts.
I know.
Well, we have Vicodin in the fridge at home.
Hey, I apologize if I embarrassed you in front of Dr.
Rabinowitz tonight.
- I didn't mean to.
- All right.
I know.
But the thing is I don't wanna go to Cleveland.
- Oh, that's what's going on.
- I like our life here.
Richard, if I get the offer, I have to take the job.
- It's a horrible city.
- No, it's not.
It's underrated.
You're frustrated at the museum.
Yeah, but they're offering me a trustee.
Well, what if I shaved? - You'd do that for me? - In Cleveland.
You promise? You know, everybody's doing it.
Oh, just how would you know that everybody's doing it? It's common knowledge! No, it certainly is not common knowledge.
- Yeah.
- No no.
( yawns ) Jenna: And it gives me a rash.
( Footsteps ) ( distant phone ringing ) Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.
No no no no no no no.
You don't look all that worse for wear.
Your clothes are dry over there on that chair.
( Groans ) My head.
( Beeping ) Oh.
I'm just gonna stay here, take a shower over at the hospital.
- Do you have the end-of-shift reports? - Um, right here.
Mmm.
Thanks.
- Didi: Morning, Phyllis.
- Good morning.
- How you doing? - Really great.
Thanks for spelling me.
That sleep was so good.
I dreamed I was in the desert, peaceful and neonatal.
- So how is Mom doing? - No change.
It was a quiet night.
Well, that's good.
Well, wish me luck.
I'm gonna tackle her toenails today.
- So see you day after tomorrow? - Yup.
Right? I'm not going anywhere else.
No.
Right.
( Pop music playing ) ( Man vocalizing ) Gonna be some sweet sounds Coming down On the nightshift I bet you're singing proud Oh, I bet you pull a crowd It's gonna be a long night It's gonna be all right On the nightshift Ahh.
You found another home I know you're not alone On the nightshift Oh yeah You found another home I know you're not alone On the nightshift, oh It's gonna be a long night It's gonna be all right On the nightshift Oh You found another home I know you're not alone On the nightshift.