Gilmore Girls s05e22 Episode Script

A House is Not a Home

Hi, hello, yes,|I'm here to pick up my daughter.
Your daughter's name? Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmore.
|She goes by Rory.
- I don't know what you have her under.
|- Rory Gilmore.
That's good, 'cause she'll answer to that.
|Not that she won't to the other, but - She'll be out in a minute.
|- Okay, thanks.
Sorry, when you say, "She'll be out,"|do you mean out of a cell? Yep.
So she was in a cell.
That's where we usually put people|when they're arrested.
Was she in the cell alone? It was a slow night,|she had the place to herself.
That's good.
I mean, not that she's a snob,|she can get along with anyone.
It's just, it was her first time in a cell,|so I didn't want her to be attacked.
You know, like in "Caged Heat.
"|Or was it "Switchblade Sisters?" Anyway, I mean, my daughter|never gets into trouble except, you know, now.
But on the whole, the kid is an angel.
|She goes to Yale.
- She'll be out in a minute.
|- Right.
I'm sorry, are you, like,|solving something? What can I do for you? I was just wondering,|is Rory "in the system" now? Because I just remembered when|Sipowicz's son accidentally got arrested because he looked like a drug dealer,|Sipowicz was freaked out that the son was gonna wind up|in the system.
And I just wonder, you know,|should I be freaked out? And also, what exactly is "the system"? She's gotta go to court.
|They'll figure out what's gonna happen.
And am I gonna have to pay anything?|I mean, bail, does she need bail? They're releasing her on a PTA,|for Promise To Appear.
She will.
She will appear.
|She might be there before you will.
- I won't be there.
|- Right.
But she will 'cause she promised.
|I'll be over there.
Well, this is much nicer|than the last place we picked him up from.
Yes, we definitely need to keep|this one in mind for future infractions.
Excuse me, Officer, we were wondering|if one Logan Huntzberger has been released|from your fine custody yet? - Nope, have a seat.
|- We'll be over here.
And if you have a moment,|we'd like to order some appetizers.
So typical.
Logan would have|to get busted during the one time I almost got Rosemarie|to agree to go home with me.
It's vintage Huntzberger, my friend.
|Friday nights end in jail.
- The boy knows how to party.
|- Stealing Richardson's boat, genius.
Let's not forget the lovely Rory.
Yes.
Maxwell Smart finally found his 99.
- Rory Gilmore's coming out now.
|- Thank you.
- You're here for Rory?|- Yeah.
We would've taken her home, love.
- Just so you know, she was covered.
|- Wow, the relief.
- I'm Colin.
This is Finn.
And you are?|- Her mother.
My God, those are good genes.
You got everything? Let's go.
What's on your hands? Fingerprints.
Right.
Do you want to go in and eat|or take it home? - Home.
|- Okay.
We're having a bike race.
|Bike race through town, first one ever.
Taylor's really excited.
|Maybe Sheryl Crow will come.
- Maybe.
|- Probably not.
I'm running out of small talk, kid.
Gotta get around|to the main event here soon.
- I know.
|- Rory, what happened? - No, don't answer it.
|- It's Logan.
- Rory, don't answer it.
|- I have to.
I don't want you talking to him right now.
- Why not?|- Why not? He just got you arrested.
- He did not.
|- Don't protect him.
- It was my idea.
|- Come on.
Logan was at his sister's|engagement party having a perfectly lovely time|when I showed up and dragged him off.
He spent the night in jail because of me.
|I have to take this call.
Hey, are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm good.
|I was just worried about you.
Lorelai.
Behind you, back here, turn around.
Yes, Taylor.
You know we have a race|coming through here tomorrow.
Yeah, it says it on the banners.
The Fifth Annual Connecticut Bike Race.
- It's a very prestigious race.
|- I'm sure.
Now, I don't know if you've noticed|the no-parking signs I've been putting out.
I didn't, Taylor.
I swear, if something doesn't have|a Marc Jacobs label on it you girls just don't notice it.
Well, I have just put no-parking signs|all up and down the street here in hopes of clearing a safe and|unobstructed path through Stars Hollow.
- Well, what a super goal, Taylor.
|- Thank you.
Now, if you notice,|your jeep is currently parked in what is about to become|a no-parking zone - Really?|- as of 10:00 tonight.
At 10:01 we will be towing.
I'm coming for you.
Okay, Taylor, it's 9:55.
|We still have six minutes.
Yes, but it would be easier|if you would just move the car now.
If it were easy, then anyone could do it.
|And I'm a maverick.
Look what Jane Fonda hath wrought.
Rory stole a yacht.
How's your night been? What? What do you mean,|"Rory stole a yacht"? I just got back from picking Rory up|from the Bridgeport Police Department where she was brought following her arrest|for grand theft boating.
Tell me what happened.
I don't know what happened,|I haven't gotten the details yet.
I did get a piece of paper|with a court date on it, though, June 3.
Sounds like a good day to go to court,|don't you think? - Was she with that Logan kid?|- Yes, he was arrested, too.
Well, there you go.
He got her into this.
- That's what I said.
I need hand soap.
|- What? She got ink all over her hands from|the fingerprinting and I'm out of soap.
- I have soap.
|- Maybe she needs special soap.
Is there special soap? 'Cause it's special ink,|it must be special ink, right? - I don't-|- I mean, of course.
They're not gonna use normal ink|for fingerprinting.
It's supposed to brand you|and humiliate you.
Normal ink wouldn't humiliate you unless|you're Rory and your mother has no soap.
What are you doing? I should make a list.
|I'm gonna forget things.
- I just need a pen.
|- Here.
Okay, buy soap.
Let's see, what else? Buy soap.
- Get lawyer.
|- I can help you with a lawyer.
Crap, Rory's car.
|It must still be at the marina.
She's gonna have to pick it up,|if it hasn't been impounded.
- How do I find out if it's been impounded?|- I'm sure you can call down there.
God, every 10 seconds|something else pops into my head.
I'm just not prepared for this.
I mean, Rory never even shoplifted.
|Not a candy bar, not a lipstick.
She forgot to return a library book once|and she was so guilty about it that she grounded herself.
|I mean, can you imagine? She was just sitting there in her bedroom,|yelling at me: "Now no one else got to read "The lliad"|this week because of me.
" - What can I do?|- Rory hasn't eaten.
- I can make you some burgers.
|- No, just donuts.
We need to get home|and get to the bottom of this.
Okay, this is not|the end of the world, right? I mean, Rory's young,|young people do stupid things.
I got pregnant.
This is better|because it's not so permanent.
Unless it's on her permanent record.
|Then does that mean she can't vote? I don't think- I thought I read if you commit a felony,|you can't vote.
Rory loves to vote.
She switched her "I voted" sticker|from outfit to outfit this year and then she Scotch-taped it to her purse.
|She has to be able to vote.
You want me to come with you|when you talk to her? No, thanks.
She's in the car.
I should go.
- Thanks for the donuts.
|- Yeah, sure.
Kirk just came by|and gave us a two-minute warning.
Any idea what he's talking about? Who ever has any idea|what Kirk's talking about? Here.
Thanks.
Rory, what happened tonight? - I stole a yacht.
|- Yes, I know.
The nice men with the guns told me.
Why? I just I was really upset|and I felt like I had to do something.
Okay, sure, I get that.
When I'm upset and I need|to do something, I eat a lot of pound cake.
- They don't have pound cake at Yale?|- No, they have pound cake at Yale.
Mitchum Huntzberger talked to me today.
- About my performance.
|- And? And he said that|I was very smart and competent and would someday|make someone a great assistant.
But as a journalist,|he just doesn't think I have it.
"It"? Who is he, Louis B.
Mayer? No, he says he has like a sense|for this kind of thing.
I just I don't know, it was just a surprise.
I thought I was doing really well.
|I thought I was impressing him.
I thought he was going to offer me|a summer job with the paper, I thought- God, I hate this guy.
It's not his fault.
|If he doesn't think I can be a journalist - it's probably best that he tells me before-|- Before what? Before I go out there and fall on my face.
Rory, he's wrong.
|He doesn't know what he's talking about.
- He does this for a living.
|- Not after I kill him, he doesn't.
Big, fancy, arrogant creep handing down|these all-knowing proclamations.
I mean, how the hell does he know|if you have "it" or not? Has he seen your writing? Has he talked to you,|I mean, really talked to you? Has he talked to any of your teachers?|Or to anyone who knows how much "it" you have? No, he spent exactly two weeks with you,|ordering you around sending you on coffee runs,|playing the big shot.
He is the publisher.
I know what it says on his business card.
|I'm gonna kick his ass.
Should we be at all concerned that|Kirk's trying to tow us away right now? No.
He is not God.
|This is one man's opinion.
He did not invent journalism.
He's just a guy|with a really good parking space.
- I'm so, so sorry.
|- I know you are.
I was so stupid.
|I'll never be that stupid again.
Sure you will.
Oh, my God.
I got arrested.
I have to go to court? I have to go get my car.
|No, do you have soap at home? Because I have all this ink|all over my hands and- Honey, relax.
We will figure it out.
Brian, I need to get in there.
I was only in there 15 minutes.
I clocked it.
- Time, dude?|-7:30.
- Crap, I overslept.
|- You're saying that like it's my fault.
Shut up.
It is your fault.
I told you to get a clock|you don't have to wind.
- I told you to shut up.
|- You never wind it.
Then you yell at me.
Dude, you keep nagging me,|I'm gonna have to buy you a ring.
- I get off work at 6:00.
|- I'll alert the media.
I mean, that's early enough|to have band practice.
- Are we having band practice tonight?|- Maybe.
- I may have to work late.
|- Brian.
I have my temp reviewing.
I think they may be ready to offer me|the full-time receptionist job.
- It's been a while since we practiced.
|- We've been busy.
- Tomorrow, then?|- Definitely a conversation to have.
Fine, we'll talk tonight.
|Have you seen my jeans jacket? Come on.
I threw the troll.
Good morning.
God, I feel like I could sleep|through the entire day.
Coffee will be ready soon.
- What are you doing?|- Well, I'm updating the refrigerator.
Where did you get that? The nice lady at the police station|e- mailed it to me.
I thought it would look nice next to|your kindergarten handprint collage.
I'll get you a copy|if you're thinking Christmas cards.
- Very thoughtful.
|- You're hungry? I'm starving.
I've had nothing but donuts|for two days.
- Funny.
|- Hold on.
I'm really glad you're enjoying this.
Rory, the penal system|is not something we enjoy.
It's something with a name|that makes us giggle.
- I assume there's Pop-Tarts?|- Now, what's on the agenda for today? I hear there's a shipment of plutonium|coming in at the docks.
And I thought we could dress up as nuns and I could distract them|with a fake stigmata.
You could shove the plutonium|under your habit and then- I have to go back to school.
|I have one last final, plus- Wait.
Plus, I've one last load of stuff that I need|to pack up and transport back here.
And now I have to hang up.
|Visiting hours are over.
Thanks for letting me borrow the jeep.
I figured if I didn't give it to you voluntarily|you'd just heist it anyway.
This bit's gonna last for a while? Twenty to life with time off for a well-placed|Tom Sizemore Whizzenator joke.
Don't let the movies fool you kiddies.
|Crime doesn't pay.
Listen, later today, I'm gonna try|and track us down a lawyer.
I thought I'd call that guy|who got Robert Blake off.
What was his name, Houdini? What? Where are you really|gonna get this lawyer? The emergency room,|ambulance dispatch center? - You're not gonna tell-|- I'm not going through Mom and Dad.
There's no reason|they need to know about this.
Did I say "I'm sorry"|in the last five minutes? I think not slugging me when I pulled out|the telephones said it for you.
- I love you, Mom.
|- I love you, kid.
- Hello?|- Hi.
Is Rory there? - She just left.
Who's calling?|- It's Logan.
- She's not here.
|- I've been trying to get her.
Her phone must be off, dead or something.
She's heading back to school.
|You can just catch up with her there.
- Yes, I'll do that.
|- Okay, bye.
Listen, I'm sorry to call your house.
|I just had this number and I wanted to talk to Rory.
- It's okay, Logan.
|- And listen I know you must be really upset by this|whole thing, but I want you to know my father's lawyers|are all over the situation and- You know what? I think your father's|done just about enough here, okay? Done enough? Yes, so thank your father for this.
|And I do mean all of this.
- But I think I can handle it from here.
|- But- His help isn't needed, Logan.
I've got it.
Okay, you got it.
Sorry, I was just- Rory should be back at school soon.
- Right.
Sorry to bother you.
|- No problem.
Bye.
- Hey.
|- What did he do? - What?|- My father.
What did he do? - Who told you that he did anything?|- I called your house.
I talked to your mom.
Great.
I should've known something happened the way you showed up|at Honor's party like that.
I should've known.
- My mother shouldn't have said anything.
|- She didn't say anything specific.
- What did she say?|- Rory, just tell me what happened.
- It's stupid.
I feel stupid.
|- Rory.
- I overreacted.
You'll think I'm three.
|- Tell me.
He just doesn't think that I've got|what it takes to be a journalist.
He says he knows when someone has it|and I apparently do not have it.
- He said that to you?|- Yeah.
- Just like that?|- Pretty much.
I knew this was gonna happen.
|I didn't want you to take that internship.
I had to take it.
|Your father's the top guy in the business.
My father is a jackass.
He's a bully.
He has zero interest in people's feelings.
It's always, "Say what you feel,|right or wrong.
"Who the hell cares who you hurt?" - Whatever, I'm going over there right now.
|- Logan, no.
You're my girlfriend.
|He should've treated you better.
- I don't want you to say anything.
|- I have to.
Logan, no, please.
I just wanna forget this.
|I just want it to go away.
And please don't make a big thing|between you and your dad.
- I don't want that.
|- Rory.
Don't put me in that position, please.
I'm sure he'll give me a crappy present|for my birthday.
Maybe I can pick a fight with him|over that.
- Thank you.
|- You should've told me.
I didn't wanna tell you.
If this relationship thing is gonna work|then it goes both ways.
You have to tell me why|we're committing a felony before we do it.
Not that that's gonna stop us,|but at least I'll know the facts, okay? - Okay, I'm sorry.
|- Come here.
You need some help packing? No, I've got my last final today.
I should go over my notes.
- Okay.
Call me after.
|- I will.
- You're good?|- I'm good.
Okay.
And try and talk to your mother.
My father's lawyers|should really handle this thing.
- They've had a lot of practice, believe me.
|- Okay, I'll talk to her.
Big hole! - You signed on the wrong line.
|- Sorry.
Cross it out, initial it, and sign again.
Big hole! What the hell is wrong with them?|Why can't they just let the bozo in back figure out for himself|there's a big hole there? You're awful crabby for a man whose|business is booming because of this race.
I don't want this kind of business.
|It's too shiny.
I myself am finding the whole thing|rather intoxicating.
Our little town, the site of a thrilling|international sports event like this? You have no idea how much wrangling|it took to get them here.
Big hole! Jeez, I smudged.
He made me smudge.
Cross it out, initial the smudge,|then start again.
I lobbied the race coordinators for weeks.
It was a lot of ouzo and karaoke but I bagged our town|the coveted first-stop, last-stop slot.
Wait, "first-stop, last-stop," meaning? They start here today, circle the state,|then end here later this week.
Every one of them will be coming back.
Big hole! Unbelievable.
Don't press too hard there.
|I don't wanna start all over again.
- That's the last one.
|- Excellent.
Well, I guess congratulations|are in order, Luke.
You just bought yourself|the Twickham house.
Thank you, Taylor.
Now remember,|there's a three-day cooling-off period meaning you have three days from today|to change your mind.
I'm not gonna change my mind.
Well, it's been a pleasure|doing business with you, Luke.
I certainly hope it works out for you|and your future plans.
Big hole! I'm taking my break.
I have 15 minutes.
- No chili?|- Where's Gil? It totally needs some chili.
Gil called.
His delivery boy didn't show.
|He had to make stops on the way.
He said he may not be able to make it.
Of course he can't make it.
|Why should he? It's only a band meeting, right?|Nothing important.
Oh, my God, I can taste the potato.
- So?|- I hate potato.
The chili hides the potato.
- Zach!|- Nice screech.
This right here, this attitude,|it's exactly what I'm talking about.
What do you mean|what you're talking about? You haven't said anything yet.
- I think we have a problem.
|- We do? I just got totally boned|by a 16-year-old 3 Doors Down fan.
My week sucks.
We started the meeting already, Gil.
I'm sorry, Lane.
I dropped off|the hoagies as quickly as I could.
Next time I won't wait for the money.
|And my kid can just paint himself silver and do the robot on the street corner|for tuition fees.
What's going on here?|Are we breaking up? What? Oh, you mean the band.
Okay, cool, wow, go on.
We're not breaking up.
|Are we breaking up? I don't know.
It just seems that lately the band doesn't seem|as important to everyone as it used to be.
- Don't agree.
|- We hardly practice any more.
Everyone else|has all these other things to do.
There were clothes on my drums|this morning.
Sorry.
After I Woolite that sweater,|I have to lay it out flat, or it'll lose shape.
Lane, relax.
Things have just been|a little crazy lately.
That reminds me.
I got offered|that full-time receptionist job today.
- Really?|- Welcome to the grind, my friend.
They're giving me a raise,|and I get to keep the blazer.
Awesome blazer.
I'm sorry, does anyone else see|what's going on here? Brian's talking about taking a full-time job.
- So?|- The band's supposed to be a full-time job.
- Lane.
|- No, no Lane.
You have your Americana banjo band,|and you have Century 21 and you have a really stupid hat on.
What do I have? According to my mother,|I'm going to hell for this.
That's commitment, my friends.
Eternal damnation is what I'm risking|for my rock and roll.
Lane, calm down.
|We all care about the band.
So I'm just imagining all of this? I think we need to play more.
We've played every club|around here 100 times.
Well, then maybe we need to tour.
Tours are rough, Lane.
|They have to be planned.
Venues must be booked.
|You need publicity, transportation, money.
Well, we have to do something.
- Big hole!|- That's it.
Big man! - Six hundred lunges every night.
|- Impressive.
Thank you.
|We are booked, booked, booked.
I now love bike riders so much that from now on when driving,|I'll no longer consider how many points I'd get if I took them out.
|What's this? - This is for you, apparently.
|- A present? I love presents.
I wonder who it could be from.
"Lorelai, a little something to make|the trip over to the Durham Group "a bit more fun.
Mike Armstrong.
" Thank you, Mike Armstrong.
That is the man|who wants to buy the inn, no? Oh, my God.
Look at all this stuff.
Travel soap, travel candles,|a travel blanket, cashmere travel pillow cashmere socks.
Oh, my God,|I've been wanting to try this.
This is the Lumiere youth serum.
Apparently you put this on|before you get on a plane and by the time you get off,|you're Dakota Fanning.
Michel, take something.
|What do you want? The memory of those bikers poking|each other in the buttocks "eternally sunshined" out of my mind.
Come on, Michel.
Take something,|you love products.
- You're going to do it, aren't you?|- Do what? You're going to sell the inn|to Mike Armstrong.
Euros.
Cool.
You're going to sell the inn|to Mike Armstrong.
Then you're gonna go off|and have a wonderful life and I'm going to be unemployed.
Very attractive asset on the dating scene.
You know, we have our own little section|on match.
com.
Michel, stop it.
|I'm probably not gonna take the deal.
- You're not?|- This is my inn.
I love it here.
It's just fun being wooed, you know.
Having someone want you enough|to send you Prescriptives misting lotion.
Fine, if you say so.
Did the handyman get here yet?|That loose banister's making me nervous.
- He has not come.
Should I call him again?|- No, forget it.
I'll call Luke.
He'll come fix it|and all it'll cost me is my honor.
What a lovely arrangement you two have.
And the countdown continues.
|Twenty-five more minutes, people.
Can you stand the excitement?|I know I can't.
I've only got 10 minutes.
|What do you need? - The banister's loose upstairs.
|- Okay.
The window in Room 3 is stuck.
|The barn door's off its tracks again.
Did you bring your jackhammer? Did you hear the part about,|"I've only got 10 minutes"? - Window in Room 3 is stuck.
|- Let's go.
But if you fix it really quickly, the banister|is right on your way back down.
Really, you might as well|take a look at that, too.
- What's all this stuff?|- That is my big, fancy present.
- From whom?|- From Mike Armstrong.
- Who the hell's Mike Armstrong?|- He's my other lover.
He owns a diner in Woodbury.
|I didn't want you to find out this way, but- "The Durham Group.
" Yeah, the hotel chain|who wants to buy the inn.
What are they sending you gifts for? Either they're disproportionately worried|about my cuticles or they can't live without me and they're begging me|to accept their offer.
- To buy the inn?|- Yeah they've been after me since that meeting.
- What meeting?|- The meeting with Mike Armstrong.
I didn't know you had a meeting|with Mike Armstrong.
- Yes, you did.
|- No, I didn't.
You did.
You told me|to have a meeting with Mike Armstrong.
I know, but you never said anything|so I figured it went away.
Well, I had a meeting|with Mike Armstrong.
- And?|- And what? - And what happened?|- Nothing.
He talked, I listened.
I told him I'd think about it.
- Think about it?|- Yeah.
About selling the inn.
And then|after you sell the inn, then what? I'd be like a consultant for their company.
- Is that what you want?|- I don't know.
- Are you gonna take this job?|- Probably not.
I'm still mulling.
Mulling? You're still mulling?|She's still mulling.
- Why are you so upset?|- I'm not upset.
- I just can't believe you're still mulling.
|- Luke.
I mean, you're seriously considering|selling the inn and taking this job.
I mean, where's their office, anyway? They've got a bunch of them.
|I don't know where exactly I'd be.
- Well, shouldn't you ask?|- Hello.
Mulling.
- I mean, they could send you anywhere.
|- Luke.
Then there's all that travel,|there's travel, right? Yes.
No.
I don't know.
What are you freaking out about? - What about the kids?|- What kids? Nothing.
Never mind, forget it.
|I'm gonna fix the window.
- Luke.
|- Room 3, got it.
Mama, it's me, Lane.
Over here in the 20% off section.
- Am I disturbing you?|- No, but it is past their bedtime.
- That was joke.
|- You're in a good mood.
- I had a good day.
|- You sell a lot of things? - You would like to see my receipts?|- No.
- My inventory reports?|- No, Mom - I was just making small talk.
|- You would like some tea? No, I just want to tell you something.
All right, tell me something.
It looks like the band may be breaking up.
|We've hit a rut.
We can't get enough gigs|to get any momentum and I don't know, it's just not working.
- I see.
|- I think I may need to move back home.
I realize that if you allow me to do that then I will have to abide by any rules|you feel necessary.
I also anticipate the words "Seventh-day|Adventist College" will come up so I'll go shopping for some|Peter Pan collared shirts tomorrow.
- No more band?|- No more band.
- You are not the daughter I raised!|- What? Kims don't give up.
Sorry, the inn was swamped.
These bikers are like rabbits|who don't eat carrots.
Too much sugar.
- Sugar.
|- The fitness craze is completely lost on us.
- I'm starving.
|- Me, too.
- So how'd your final go?|- It went well.
- Yeah? And you finished packing?|- All packed, all boxed I just have one more trip to school|and home and then I'm done.
It's gonna be nice to have you home|for a while.
I'm glad you feel that way.
Yeah, the place hasn't had|a decent dusting since you left.
Do you think today's the day|we're finally gonna go through all 12 layers|of the 12-layer German chocolate cake? The bikers have demonstrated|the importance of challenging oneself.
- Mom.
|- Rory.
I have to tell you something.
Okay, wow,|there's something about Weston's.
- It's always the place where we talk.
|- We could go somewhere else.
No, tell me.
I've decided that I'm not going back to Yale next year.
I'm sorry,|I don't think I heard you correctly.
- I'm not going back to Yale next year.
|- Why? Because I'm not sure|that it's the right place for me.
And I'm not exactly sure|what I want to do with my life and- Since when are you not sure|what you wanna do with your life? You've known what you wanted to do|with your life since you were three.
- Be a journalist.
|- Maybe not.
- This is about Mitchum Huntzberger.
|- No, it's not.
Rory, honey, I know that what he said|hurt you, and that shook you up.
You lost your confidence,|but that was just one man's opinion.
It has nothing to do|with what he said to me.
And Mitchum Huntzberger happens to be|the top newspaper guy in the country.
So what? So if you're going to get|one man's opinion - he's the one man you get.
|- You're not thinking.
This is the man who doesn't want you|to marry Logan.
That wasn't him.
It was Logan's mother|and his grandfather.
And you really think he's okay with it? His whole family looks at you|and sees Anna Nicole Smith and they tell you that to your face.
He thinks you're swell|and wants to pay for the honeymoon.
That's not why he said what he said.
He's messing with your mind.
|He has so many motives that have nothing to do with your abilities.
That's not true.
|He said I can't do it, so I can't do it.
Why are you so willing to believe this guy? - Logan agrees with him.
|- He said that? He told you he agrees with his father because if that's so,|he's a fantastic boyfriend.
- Really, quite a catch.
|- No, he didn't say it.
- I could just tell.
|- How? I could tell.
He ranted|about his father being a jerk and speaking his mind,|but he never said that he was wrong.
- Rory, come on, what kind of logic is that?|- It doesn't matter.
This isn't about that.
|I told you, I just need some time.
- You're making a mistake.
|- No, I'm not.
This is normal.
College kids take breaks like this|all the time.
You didn't go to college,|so you don't understand.
No, I didn't go to college,|I wasn't lucky enough to go to college.
Trust me, this is very normal.
- No, you are not quitting Yale.
|- Yes, I am.
You're acting incredibly immature|and I know it's because you're hurt but you've got to get a grip.
|This is too important.
You've been working toward Yale|your whole life.
No.
I was working toward Harvard|my whole life.
Okay, fine, then go to Harvard.
That's cool.
I don't wanna go to Harvard.
Then go to Princeton or Stanford|or Columbia.
I want time off.
If you leave Yale now,|you'll never go back.
- You'll lose momentum.
|- Momentum toward what? All I've been doing|is working toward being a journalist.
I'm not going to be a journalist,|so what momentum am I losing, exactly? You don't wanna be a journalist, fine.
|I don't care about that.
But you stay in school,|you take some classes you figure out what you do wanna be.
- That's not what Yale is for.
|- That's what college is for.
- Yale's expensive.
|- Are you paying? I don't wanna do that.
|I don't wanna wander around a school where everyone else is focused|and working towards something and I'm just floating.
What's the great master plan then?|You're gonna move back home live in your room,|work part-time at the bookstore? - Forget it! Not an option.
|- I'll figure it out.
- I'm not hungry.
|- Look, I'm not going back.
- I just wanted you to know.
|- Message sent.
- Luke, you were looking for Taylor?|- Yeah.
- Go, Connecticut!|- He's right outside.
I'll be back in a minute.
Taylor.
- Hello, Luke.
|- You said I had three days, right? - Three-|- For the house.
Three days to back out.
- Well, I didn't say that, the law did.
|- Fine, whoever said it, I want out.
- What?|- Forget the house.
Forget the whole damn thing,|I don't need it anymore.
Why? Luke.
I have a lunch|with Sonny Kingsman today.
And then I have to stop by the club at 4:00.
Some of the girls are having|a little impromptu birthday cocktail with Mellie Rutgers.
Though the last thing Mellie needs|is another excuse for a midday cocktail.
I can stop by the cleaners|on my way home if you want to have something pressed|for your trip this weekend.
And then after the cleaners,|I thought I'd run off with Marshall the golf instructor at the club.
Do you think you could manage|to get your own dinner tonight? That'll be fine, Emily.
I wonder who that can be|first thing in the morning? Perhaps it's Marshall, the golf instructor unable to wait until after Mellie's party|to have you.
- I know I couldn't.
|- You do surprise me, Richard Gilmore.
- I'm sorry to interrupt your breakfast.
|- Lorelai.
I need to talk to you guys|about something.
- Is everything all right?|- Well Sit down, Lorelai.
Davida,|bring a coffee cup for my daughter.
I'm gonna have to call the office|if this is gonna take long.
No, Dad, it won't.
I just I need your help.
- Call the office, Richard.
|- No, Dad, I promise it'll be quick.
- Rory's quitting Yale.
|- What? - What are you talking about?|- Thank you.
What do you mean Rory's quitting Yale? Why would you joke|about something like that? - What makes you think I'm joking?|- Because Rory would never quit Yale.
This must be one of your bits.
|You scare us with something horrible like Rory's quitting college|and then after we have a heart attack you tell us you were kidding,|you're having a sex-change operation.
Mom, Dad, I'm not having|a sex-change operation.
I don't understand this.
|Rory's doing beautifully at school.
Why would she want to leave? Okay, look, I know you love Logan|and the Huntzbergers and you already have the wedding|invitations printed and ready to go but I have to tell you,|these are not good people.
Meaning what? Logan's mother and grandfather attacked Rory|at that dinner they invited her to.
They told her she wasn't good enough|to marry into the Huntzberger family and she wasn't who they wanted|for Logan.
Not good enough? Then Mitchum Huntzberger|gave Rory that internship theoretically to make up for that evening.
|He let her work for a while he built her up, and then he clobbered her.
He told her she doesn't have what it takes|to be a journalist and she needs to find|something else to do with her life.
- What?|- This happened on Friday night, Mom.
That's why Rory wasn't at dinner,|she was devastated.
Then she went to find Logan|at the yacht club and the two of them stole a yacht.
Stop it.
Stop it right now.
They were arrested,|and I had to pick Rory up - from the Bridgeport Police Department.
|- No.
Ever since she got involved|with these people, things have been bad.
She's up and she's down and|she should be stronger than this, I know but she's young and she's Rory|and she's come so far she's worked so hard,|I just don't want her to lose this.
What do you want us to do? I've already told her|that just coming home and bumming around Stars Hollow|is not an option.
And I was thinking, Friday night at dinner|we could triple-team her.
I bet between the three of us|we could knock some sense into her but I really need the two of you|to back me up on this.
Well, of course, we'll back you up.
|This is not happening.
How much trouble is she in|with this yacht incident? - She's gonna need a lawyer.
|- I'll call Charlie Newman.
Are we sure we wanna wait until Friday?|Should we confront her now? I think we should give her a chance|to cool off a little.
Maybe some time|will make her more receptive.
I agree with Lorelai.
|Give the girl some time.
- All right.
Friday night it is.
|- Thank you.
Just Thank you.
I should get going.
Dad has to get to work.
- Would you like something to eat?|- No.
I just got everything I need.
Davida, can you come here, please? Look at these shoes and tell me|if these look like the same color to you.
They're supposed to be the same color,|they were bought at the same time they'd been residing in the same box.
However, on closer examination,|one of them seems a little faded.
What do you think? What's the matter?|I was just asking your opinion.
Davida, stop that shaking right now.
|This is not a trick question.
I just wanted an opinion from|For heaven's sake.
Go back to your work.
I guess I'll get that.
Rory.
- Can I come in?|- Well, all right.
Come in.
Didn't expect to see you|until dinner tonight.
I needed to talk to you.
Yes, well, your grandmother|is running some errands and I was doing|some work in the house, so Well, I assume you've heard|about everything by now.
Yes, well, I believe|I've heard some bits and pieces.
You know, I really was|in the middle of something.
Can this possibly wait until tonight?|I'll give you my full attention, I promise.
Everything's falling apart.
I messed everything up.
|I don't know what to do.
Your grandmother should be back|any minute.
I can have the maid make us some tea.
I'm so sorry, Grandpa.
|I'm so sorry about everything.
I just don't know what to do.
I don't.
It's all right.
Everything will be all right.
- Where is she, dude?|- Don't know, man.
Not her warden.
This is the second|emergency band meeting in a week.
Time is pressing.
I have a 10-pound salami|sitting out in the van.
Do not giggle.
|This is not dirty, this is a job.
Can one of you quiz me|on the open-house procedures? - Level 12, dude.
|- I'll do it.
"True or false:|Simmering some apple juice "and a couple of cinnamon sticks|makes a pleasant aroma "indicating "home"|to prospective buyers.
" True.
I'd add a little potpourri to the johns, too.
Jeez! - All boys here?|- Yes.
- Good.
|- Guys, guess what? Your mother just took 10 years off my life? - We are going on tour.
|- We are? - What are you talking about?|- All of you, gather around, please.
Do not stand there looking stupid, move! Okay, you start at The First Lady|of Our Sacred Heart on the fourth The Church of the Open Hand|on the sixth Chapel Hill on the 10th, the big auditorium|not the Sunday school room.
- Are you sensing a pattern here?|- We move in kind of a horseshoe shape.
- It looks pretty well thought out.
|- No, they're all churches.
Not churches, theaters and churches.
I have contacts|with the entire east coast Seventh-day Adventists|entertainment circuit.
Dates back to my days|in an all-girl Christian tambourine band.
- What?|- I have you booked solid for two months.
Families in each town will take you in,|feed you, put you up.
- I don't know.
This seems a little weird.
|- Weird? What weird? You need to play, here's places to play.
|Nice places, clean places.
- Don't wear that outfit onstage.
|- This is my delivery outfit.
Lane, tell her I don't dress like this.
- I need to see your songs.
|- Why? To see if you need|to make any adjustments.
- Lyrics must be clean.
|- Okay, that's where we draw the line.
- We will not change our lyrics.
|- Please.
Prince made 57 million|take-home last year.
He didn't swear, and he mentioned God.
|Catch up! Okay, last problem, transportation.
- What about the van?|- What van? Gil's delivery van.
- You have van?|- Yeah, right outside, full of salami.
Let's see this van.
Lane, we can't go|on some crazy Christian crusade tour.
It's a tour, Zach.
It's a chance to play,|to keep our band together.
Isn't that important?|Who cares where we're playing? Our music will be out there.
I think a tour would be kind of neat.
Brian, if you do a tour right,|it could be way more than neat.
- Gil, get over here.
|- Yes, ma'am.
- This is your van?|- Yes but it's not really big enough|for a tour van.
What're you talking about?|All 27 girls and their tambourines would have fit very nicely in here.
|Legs crossed, of course.
Drums go there, bass goes there,|guitars go there Lane rides up front,|and we get rid of that big salami.
Pop the hood.
I need to check the engine.
Okay, I know it's not perfect,|it's not The Festival Express but it could be really great.
- What do you say?|- I think it's freaking crazy.
Which also happens to be|completely rock and roll.
Let's do it! - Seriously?|- Totally! Century 21 has been around|for over 30 years.
- I'm sure it'll be here when I get back.
|- Zach? Well, jeez, Dorothy,|if Tin Man and Lion are gonna go - I guess I have to go, too.
|- Yeah! All right.
- Gil, get over here and pop the hood now!|- Yes, ma'am.
- Haven't got all day.
|- I'm sorry.
You'll need new hoses, spark plugs,|oil change.
Wait, let me write this down.
Hi.
- Can I take your coat?|- Yes, thank you.
Lorelai, we're in here.
I thought I'd come a little early|so we could strategize.
- Sit down, Lorelai.
|- Okay.
Rory should be here pretty soon, so Your mother and I have been talking|about your situation.
We have discussed the matter thoroughly|and we have come to a decision.
Rory will be taking some time off|from Yale.
She will be moving|into the pool house here with us.
We will find her some sort of suitable job|through one of our friends and then after a suitable time|has passed we will revisit the subject|of her returning to school.
Where are you going? I was sitting right here.
I came in, I sat right here,|and we had the conversation, right? I mean, I'm not imagining it, right? I had coffee, you had grapefruit Dad was reading the paper, he had to go,|so I said I'd make it quick.
And we sat here and we talked about|how we were gonna stick together and convince Rory to go back to school.
|That did happen, right? - I'm not completely wacko.
|- Yes, it happened.
Obviously I'm a little wacko 'cause|I came here for help in the first place but I'm not totally delusional.
- There were other things to consider.
|- You said you'd back me on this.
You said you weren't gonna|let this happen.
Rory's young and I'm sure once she's had|some time and some space she will change her mind, but for now,|this is what she wants to do and we need to respect that.
Have you talked to Rory about this,|your great plan? - Does she know about it?|- Yes.
She's fine with the arrangement.
- So you went to her behind my back.
|- She came to me, Lorelai.
She told me what she wanted|in her own words.
Wow, so that does work|occasionally with you? This makes sense.
We don't want her|to move in with Logan, do we? Since you don't want Rory|to move back home to Stars Hollow it just makes sense|that she move in here with us.
- I don't-|- We can watch her.
Keep her from getting into trouble.
|We can get her back on track.
You'll understand that|once you calm down and think about it rationally.
This is unacceptable.
|Completely unacceptable! - What time is it?|-10:00.
It's not! It is not 10:00.
Is it 10:00? No.
They were supposed|to finish the race at 12:00 that's 12:00 noon, when the sun is out|and the press is here and the people are interested|in buying t-shirts.
Nobody buys t-shirts at 10:00 at night.
Sweatshirts, maybe.
Well, we're not selling sweatshirts,|are we? All that planning.
I finally|had to send the marching band home.
It was past their bedtimes.
I have never met such soft, whiny|6- year-olds, in my entire life.
If this was Dickens' day, they'd all|have been sold to a cobbler by now.
I think I see someone coming.
Really? At 10:10 they come rolling in? You're late, you're late, you're all late! You, and you, and you, and you! Late! - Rory dropped out of Yale.
|- What? She dropped out of Yale|and she moved in with my parents who I went to for help,|and they stabbed me in the back.
Everything we worked for,|all these years, her whole future She was supposed to have more than me.
She was supposed to have everything.
That was the plan.
We had a plan.
Okay, I'm sorry, I have to jump in here.
I know you think you have|this thing handled, but I can help.
First off, we call Yale,|and we tell them something like Rory had a chemical imbalance,|and she was medically out of her mind when she told them she was dropping out.
Then we get her out of your|parents' house whatever way we can we lock her up in her room with you|'cause you can talk her into this.
You can talk anybody into anything.
Then if worse comes to worst,|we will drive her to school every day and we will follow her to class and|camp out there to make sure she goes.
I'll take morning classes,|you take afternoon classes or the other way around|if it works out better for your schedule.
And I know there's a few kinks|to work out and the kidnapping might be problematic,|but either way, she is not quitting school.
This was her dream.
|I am not gonna let this happen.
What? Luke, will you marry me? What? English
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