Gintama (2005) s01e46 Episode Script
Adults Only. We Wouldn't Want Anyone Immature in Here
Dear Kagura-chan: How have you been? All my hair follicles have died, but otherwise, I'm okay.
As usual, I'm flying through the stars chasing Aliens.
Lately, I've been mixed up in a battle [Note: Earth Federation is a GUNDAM parody.]
between the Earth Federation and The Principality on a planet somewhere.
You're no ordinary guy, I take it.
Are you a new type? Until a while back, I was a haired-type, but now I'm a skin-type.
[Note: A parody of GUNDAM's zuchou vs.
zentou type.]
No, that's not what I meant Anyway, now that I'm here, The Principality will win.
Listen up! As of today, I will be in command of the Federated Army! Everyone will shave their heads! Grow long hair and I will whack your ass! More importantly, are you enjoying yourself, Kagura-chan? Is that silver-haired guy bullying you, or that four-eyed guy looking at you with those lecherous eyes you only see on adolescents? My daughter is studying abroad on Earth.
Seriously? You must be worried.
If anything is wrong, just let me know.
Daddy will come and kill them all.
Good-bye.
I'll write again.
P.
S.
: I forget to say one thing.
It's about that big dog you're keeping You should really dump it before it turns into a monster.
You're too latebaldy.
And besides, no matter what anyone says, I'm never leaving you.
Right, Sadaharu? [Thank you to Sasaki-kun, Sekiba-kun, Nakajima-kun and Arai-kun of Sendai for the photo.
That's a near perfect ice rendition of the Neo-Armstrong cannon.
.]
[But don't expect a gift; the world isn't that generous.
You can have the gift of a "memory in your hearts" because we showed it on TV.
.]
So you see, the game scheduled for the dome was cancelled.
And to pay off all the damage we had to sell all our shrine property.
Oh my! I can't believe we have to go through all this just because of a dog.
And now, my younger sister and I are back to living in an apartment.
That's why men are just like dogs.
You dump 'em without a second thought, but they eventually come back to bite you.
Yeah, but at least dogs are smarter.
Ane-san, you've been requested.
Table 3.
Coming.
Is it Mr.
Kikuya again? That lech really likes you.
Like I said, they always come back.
They're really stupid.
They get so worked up just because I'm a miko.
Nurses, miko, and flight attendants The insane fantasies they have about women.
If they only knew that being a woman meant spending you life battling through piles of crap.
["Adults Only.
We Wouldn't Want Anyone Immature in Here".]
Boss, it's me, Ane.
I'm so glad you came to s- Ane-chan's here, Boss Kikuya.
What the hell are you doing?! I was filling in for you 'til you showed up, Ane-chan.
But the jerk grabbed my butt.
I was startled, and I'm the one who's startled! What're you doing to my customer?! I'm sorry.
He's not my customer, so I figured it's okay.
You know damn well it isn't! It's my way of welcoming a customer.
Look, just because that gorilla, who's always stalking you, doesn't mind being beaten up, that doesn't mean you can treat anyone else that way! Who're you calling a stalker gorilla! That's rude, you! Otae-san, tell her off.
All rightget lost, gorilla.
No, that's not what I meant.
If you don't want to hear it, get out of here, gorilla.
No, that's not what I meant.
In fact, do the world a favor and get out of everywhere, gorilla.
No, that's not what I meant.
Just a minute, calm down, Ane.
You're shocking the other customers.
Otae definitely went too far, but Mr.
Kikuya is also at fault.
He keeps trying to turn this place into an all-you-can-grope buffet.
The other hostesses don't like him, either.
Your butt? What's the big deal about getting your butt groped? Do you know why there are two halves to your butt? It's so that you won't mind if someone touches one half.
No, I don't think so.
If he touches your left cheek, let him touch your right! Everyone knows that you're supposed to turn the other cheek! Ridiculous! Our butt cheeks are vestiges of when we were all angels.
They were once wings.
Now that's ridiculous! What's with that? You being romantic? Like we were some kind of magic girl? Yeah! Boobs used to be wings! You got it wrong, Pal.
They're left over from when we used to be living arsenals.
They were missiles.
Just what do you think humans used to be? Okay, I'm not running a Touchy Pub here.
But it's not an S&M bar, either, okay.
This isn't the place for enjoying sadistic shows.
Yes, you're right.
"Yes, you're right"?! What is this, the Kazuyoshi Morita hour? [Note: A play off Kazuyoshi Morita who is Tamori, the basis for the Tamo-san in this series.]
Yes, you're right.
You two make me so mad So, Otae-chan, I did ask for you to do a little bouncer duty on our worst drunks, but I think you've gone too far with the stick.
I don't have a stick, I have a hole.
[Note: A play on the word, bou = stick/rod and youjinbouï¼bouncer/bodyguard.]
No, thatâs not the issue here.
Women shouldnât say such things.
And as for you, Ane-chan, I realize you need money, but your methods are a bit unscrupulous.
Iâve received many complaints from customers that you dumped them after theyâd given you every cent in their wallets.
I havenât dumped them.
I recycle the men who can save up enough money to crawl back to me.
I never heard of such a nasty recycling that was so harsh on the Earth.
Well, the two of you are the top girls here.
Iâd really like to keep you both⦠but this business is not going to survive with two nuclear warheads here at the same time.
Thatâs why I need one of you to quit by the end of this month.
The one whoâll remain is⦠Well, itâs just about the day when we tally monthly sales, so I think the one who brings in more sales will stay.
He canât be serious.
At a time when Iâm already struggling to make a living and have to work even harder.
Damn that hateful woman.
Who knows how many of my customers have been her victim.
Sheâs never sold as many drinks as I have.
And yet everyone adores her.
Iâve never liked that about her.
This is the perfect chance to drive her out of the bar! Ane-chan.
Iâve gotten out of hand.
Iâm sorry.
It seems I got us into it this whole mess.
I see what youâre doing.
Iâm not blaming you.
Letâs both try our best tomorrow.
Iâm not letting you give me a false sense of security.
About our contest⦠Iâll forfeit.
I heard from everyone.
Ane-chan, they said you had to abandon the shrine you were living in and how itâs been really difficult .
And on top of that, youâre looking after your introverted younger sister.
Iâ¦canât fight against you, Ane-chan.
I know.
I know that you work harder than anyone, Ane-chan.
Hang in there.
Iâm rooting for you.
What just happened? That caught me totally off guard.
That woman doesnât make any sense.
But⦠I think I understand why everyone likes her so much.
Welcome.
Two? This the place? Youâre sure this is the right place? Hey, hey.
Isnât this place expensive? You sure itâs okay? Youâre from the Odd Jobs! The miko hussy.
Youâre working here, too?! Whoâre you calling a hussy? Whatâre you doing here?! Huh? I know someone here.
Sir, shall I call a particular girl? Call Otae-chan.
Oâ¦! Gin-san, Hasegawa-san.
Right this way.
That bitch! She called her customers here! Hot, hot, hot! Itâs been so long time since Iâve been in a place like this.
Hey, youâre gonna give us a deal, right? We havenât got much money.
Ane-chan says sheâs really struggling to pay back what she borrowed.
Iâ¦canât compete with Ane-chan.
Or so I want you to believe.
I couldnât care less what happens to you.
I have my own oath to restore my fatherâs dojo.
She tricked me! How could I have missed that?! That bitch! [Teach me! Ginpachi Sensei.]
[Question Corner.]
[Ginpachi Sakata.]
This is from âI want to be an animator and draw Gin Tama.
â I canât seem to draw Gin-sanâs hair well.
Please give me just a small hint.
All right, Iâll teach you.
His hair may appear random, but it does follow some rules.
[How to draw Gin-san.]
The key is the four cowlicks.
First, draw a normal head.
Then, draw small cowlicks on both sides of the top of his head.
Then draw cowlicks around the ears and elongate the front hair and youâre done.
[Done.
.]
Just so you know, anime is a tough job that doesnât make much money, so I wouldnât recommend it.
[Teach me! Ginpachi Sensei.]
Okay, now that Iâve taught you how to draw Gin-san, letâs do Shinpachi and Kagura next.
[How to draw Shinpachi.]
First draw what you think is a ordinary guy.
Make it lack as much personality as possible.
Then, give it glasses.
Okay⦠Done.
[Done.]
Next, how to draw Kagura.
[How to draw Kagura.]
First, remove Shinpachiâs glasses, and make the hair white.
Next, add two buns on the head.
Okayâ¦Done.
[Done.
.]
All the characters are based on Shinpachi.
If you master Shinpachi, you can draw all the characters! So, letâs Shinpachi! She tricked me! How could I have missed that?! That bitch! Shit.
Itâs still not too late.
Hi, Iâm Oryo.
Cool shades! What? You can tell? Actually, they were expensive.
So what do we do now? Can I touch your butt? Just kidding.
Iâd be better off kneading dough than grabbing your flat behind.
Oh? Youâre so turned on your nose is bleeding.
Incredible.
Sheâs already forgotten what happened two frames ago.
Such a fun customer you are.
Would you like a drink? We have Dom-Peri andâ¦Dom-Peri and Dom-Peri and Dom-Peri.
[Note: Dom-Peri is Japanese for Dom Perignon.]
[Dom-Peri Dom-Peri Dom-Peri Dom-Peri.]
[Note: written with various forms of âdonâ.]
[Shochu and water.]
Shochu and water.
You got it.
Dom-Peri, please! Somebody, call an interpreter! Dom-Peri? Brings back memories of when I worked for the Bakufu and theyâd serve it at elite events.
Itâs too expensive to pay out of my own pocket, so I never touched the stuff.
Weâll be fine with something cheaper.
Like beer.
Dom-Periâ¦Dom-Peri mixed with Dom-Peri, not beer but Dom-Peri, Dom-Peri.
Nothing but Dom-Per.
More Dom-Peri.
Say Dom-Peri.
What? What was Dom-Peri? Iâm all mixed up.
Dom-Peri.
Itâs all Dom-Peri! Theyâre ripping us off.
No doubt about it.
This is a rip-off joint! Thatâs ridiculous.
Otae-chan wouldnât do a thing like that.
Then whatâs a Dom-Peri mixed with Dom-Peri? I canât understand that.
I donât understand all this Dom-Peri or my own thoughts.
Gin-san.
You and I havenât had Dom-Peri in a while.
Dom? Is that like beating a drum? What? When did we ever have Dom Perignon? Hasegawa-san, I think your shades, and your shades, and your shades would go well with Dom-Peri.
Peri?! Thatâs odd! Youâre odd! Are my shades the only thing you can compliment?! Please, Dom.
I want to drink it, Peri.
All right, Dom? Okay, Peri? Dom-Peri! Dom-Peri! Hey, hey, hey.
Put it together and itâs Dom-Peri.
Subliminal advertising! Theyâre manipulating our subconscious minds! Cover your ears! Donât let them sway you! Excuse me.
Five Dom-Peri please! Itâs Big Daddy Matsudaira! Macchan!! Macchan!! Macchan!! Oh âDaddyâ, Iâm so happy you could make it! Forgive me, I pulled you away from work.
Itâs all right.
It was just a meeting.
Not like Edoâs going to be destroyed or anything.
But if I canât come here, I will be destroyed.
Oh you make me so happy! Thatâs Big Daddy Matsudaira! Really? Otae! That man is famous for the outrageously extravagant way he parties.
âDaddy.
â I havenât had Dom-Peri in a while.
That stuffâs like juice.
Iâd like to drink something stronger, but ah well⦠Five Dom-Peri, coming right up! Iâll serve it right away.
What a waste! Itâs spilling over.
Itâs like at a host club.
Cheers! Chug, Chugâ¦! Big Daddy, youâre wonderful.
My gosh, five bottles at once⦠Thereâs no way you can win against that⦠What? You want to beat him? Hell, we can match every one of their champagnes with 80-20 water and shochu and get higher than him.
Thatâs not what this battle is about.
She doesnât want such a lame victory.
Did you see that? This is the difference between you and I.
Otae, whatâll you do? At this rate⦠Is it okay to let her get on that kind of a roll? Hey, hey, you guys, why the long faces? Bring 10 bottles of Dom Perignon.
Kondo-san! We have an order for 10 Dom-Peri! Awesome! Otae-chan jumped ahead of Ane-chan all at once! What?! I heard whatâs going on from the hostesses.
You couldâve come to me, Otae-san.
Iâve been saving up my savings passbook as a joint account for when weâre married.
[O-Edo Bank Passbook.]
You can relax now.
I may not look it, but Iâve made quite a lot.
â¦Gorilla-san.
Donât call me G-Gorilla⦠It doesnât match this scene.
Okayâ¦Go-rilla-san.
Same thing.
Kondo! Youâre a hundred years too early to try and outshine me in Kabukicho! Shut up, lecherous old man! From tonight on, I am the King of Nightlife! Donât be ridiculous! I wonât allow even the Shogun to take away what I live for! 15 Dom-Peri! Youâre so cool, Daddy! Otae-san! Dom-Peri over here, too⦠Excuse me.
Another round of Dom-Peri with this.
You mean you already ordered? Thatâs my wallet! Nobody said âyouâre so cool!â No, youâre terrific, guy.
We all know that.
Itâs not easy to give as much as you did.
Gorilla, youâre one heck of a guerilla! All you did was change the spelling! Why are you drinking when youâre not even part of the staff? Donât worry about the details! Donât! I do! More Dom-Peri! This is a record! Another round of Dom-Peri! Another Dom-Peri! Keep the Dom-Peri coming! More and more Dom-Peri! Itâs neck to neck! Drink up! Youâre pretty good, Kondo.
But isnât your wallet nearly drained by now? Donât underestimate me.
I withdrew my entire marriage savings.
Huh?! Thereâs nothing left.
Whatâs going on? You never ordered Dom Perignon on your own so you didnât know! Itâs staggeringly expensive! It really is.
Itâs expensive! A few dozen glasses of it can wipe out your savings! "Whatâll I do? My wifeâs gonna kill me!" So youâre finished, too! Uh-oh, Otae-san⦠Kondo-san, thatâs enough.
What youâve done is plenty⦠Otae-san⦠Now all you have to do is sell this and thatâll be enough⦠Umâ¦sell that? But, thatâs a Samuraiâs soul.
Soul? You can just buy a new one.
No, I canât do that.
Letâs see some big money! Sheâs right.
Sheâs right.
If you need one, buy it used! I bought mine from an infomercial! What? You said you bought it from a wizard.
I lied! Thatâs awful.
I went to the main store, and anguished and anguished before⦠You sell your shades.
What⦠I said, go sell your shades.
And buy me a drink! Theyâre expensive, arenât they? Get going! Thatâs what you get for trying to act cool when youâre dirt broke! Look at me! I live simply, so Iâve got nothing to lose.
You, go borrow money.
Iâm saying, guys who donât have any money need to go borrow some! Thatâs why I said you punks are a hundred years too young to be playing at night.
Kids who donât know when to quit canât survive in this town.
My walletâs empty, so⦠Ane-chan, the bill please.
Whatâre you talking about? Your wallet may be empty, but your bank account isnât, is it? Hurry and make a withdrawal.
Or Iâll tell your wife everything.
Yes, you both were fantastic! Ane-chan, Otae-chan.
I have to say you both win the competition! That was a great match.
From now on, letâs work together for the sake of the club! [Kabukicho, town of greed.]
[Tonight as always.]
[Men and women replay the drama of love.]
[Though they know it is.]
[But a fleeting dream.]
[They cannot escape.]
[The fate of foolish men.]
[Ahâ¦.]
[The morning sun is blinding again today.]
Hey, Whatâs with the cheesy lyrics over our heads? Donât try to trick me.
Thatâs not going to settle anything! [Preview.]
Wow! A monstrous guy has moved in! âMy neighbor Hedoro,â he looks so scary! A florist by day, but he must be an alien conqueror by night! The next episode⦠âDo Cherries Come from Cherry Trees?â [Hedoroâs house shows up next door.
Are those demon flowers for world conquest?.]
[What is the fate of the Odd Jobs? Who must circulate the Neighborhood Notebook?.]
As usual, I'm flying through the stars chasing Aliens.
Lately, I've been mixed up in a battle [Note: Earth Federation is a GUNDAM parody.]
between the Earth Federation and The Principality on a planet somewhere.
You're no ordinary guy, I take it.
Are you a new type? Until a while back, I was a haired-type, but now I'm a skin-type.
[Note: A parody of GUNDAM's zuchou vs.
zentou type.]
No, that's not what I meant Anyway, now that I'm here, The Principality will win.
Listen up! As of today, I will be in command of the Federated Army! Everyone will shave their heads! Grow long hair and I will whack your ass! More importantly, are you enjoying yourself, Kagura-chan? Is that silver-haired guy bullying you, or that four-eyed guy looking at you with those lecherous eyes you only see on adolescents? My daughter is studying abroad on Earth.
Seriously? You must be worried.
If anything is wrong, just let me know.
Daddy will come and kill them all.
Good-bye.
I'll write again.
P.
S.
: I forget to say one thing.
It's about that big dog you're keeping You should really dump it before it turns into a monster.
You're too latebaldy.
And besides, no matter what anyone says, I'm never leaving you.
Right, Sadaharu? [Thank you to Sasaki-kun, Sekiba-kun, Nakajima-kun and Arai-kun of Sendai for the photo.
That's a near perfect ice rendition of the Neo-Armstrong cannon.
.]
[But don't expect a gift; the world isn't that generous.
You can have the gift of a "memory in your hearts" because we showed it on TV.
.]
So you see, the game scheduled for the dome was cancelled.
And to pay off all the damage we had to sell all our shrine property.
Oh my! I can't believe we have to go through all this just because of a dog.
And now, my younger sister and I are back to living in an apartment.
That's why men are just like dogs.
You dump 'em without a second thought, but they eventually come back to bite you.
Yeah, but at least dogs are smarter.
Ane-san, you've been requested.
Table 3.
Coming.
Is it Mr.
Kikuya again? That lech really likes you.
Like I said, they always come back.
They're really stupid.
They get so worked up just because I'm a miko.
Nurses, miko, and flight attendants The insane fantasies they have about women.
If they only knew that being a woman meant spending you life battling through piles of crap.
["Adults Only.
We Wouldn't Want Anyone Immature in Here".]
Boss, it's me, Ane.
I'm so glad you came to s- Ane-chan's here, Boss Kikuya.
What the hell are you doing?! I was filling in for you 'til you showed up, Ane-chan.
But the jerk grabbed my butt.
I was startled, and I'm the one who's startled! What're you doing to my customer?! I'm sorry.
He's not my customer, so I figured it's okay.
You know damn well it isn't! It's my way of welcoming a customer.
Look, just because that gorilla, who's always stalking you, doesn't mind being beaten up, that doesn't mean you can treat anyone else that way! Who're you calling a stalker gorilla! That's rude, you! Otae-san, tell her off.
All rightget lost, gorilla.
No, that's not what I meant.
If you don't want to hear it, get out of here, gorilla.
No, that's not what I meant.
In fact, do the world a favor and get out of everywhere, gorilla.
No, that's not what I meant.
Just a minute, calm down, Ane.
You're shocking the other customers.
Otae definitely went too far, but Mr.
Kikuya is also at fault.
He keeps trying to turn this place into an all-you-can-grope buffet.
The other hostesses don't like him, either.
Your butt? What's the big deal about getting your butt groped? Do you know why there are two halves to your butt? It's so that you won't mind if someone touches one half.
No, I don't think so.
If he touches your left cheek, let him touch your right! Everyone knows that you're supposed to turn the other cheek! Ridiculous! Our butt cheeks are vestiges of when we were all angels.
They were once wings.
Now that's ridiculous! What's with that? You being romantic? Like we were some kind of magic girl? Yeah! Boobs used to be wings! You got it wrong, Pal.
They're left over from when we used to be living arsenals.
They were missiles.
Just what do you think humans used to be? Okay, I'm not running a Touchy Pub here.
But it's not an S&M bar, either, okay.
This isn't the place for enjoying sadistic shows.
Yes, you're right.
"Yes, you're right"?! What is this, the Kazuyoshi Morita hour? [Note: A play off Kazuyoshi Morita who is Tamori, the basis for the Tamo-san in this series.]
Yes, you're right.
You two make me so mad So, Otae-chan, I did ask for you to do a little bouncer duty on our worst drunks, but I think you've gone too far with the stick.
I don't have a stick, I have a hole.
[Note: A play on the word, bou = stick/rod and youjinbouï¼bouncer/bodyguard.]
No, thatâs not the issue here.
Women shouldnât say such things.
And as for you, Ane-chan, I realize you need money, but your methods are a bit unscrupulous.
Iâve received many complaints from customers that you dumped them after theyâd given you every cent in their wallets.
I havenât dumped them.
I recycle the men who can save up enough money to crawl back to me.
I never heard of such a nasty recycling that was so harsh on the Earth.
Well, the two of you are the top girls here.
Iâd really like to keep you both⦠but this business is not going to survive with two nuclear warheads here at the same time.
Thatâs why I need one of you to quit by the end of this month.
The one whoâll remain is⦠Well, itâs just about the day when we tally monthly sales, so I think the one who brings in more sales will stay.
He canât be serious.
At a time when Iâm already struggling to make a living and have to work even harder.
Damn that hateful woman.
Who knows how many of my customers have been her victim.
Sheâs never sold as many drinks as I have.
And yet everyone adores her.
Iâve never liked that about her.
This is the perfect chance to drive her out of the bar! Ane-chan.
Iâve gotten out of hand.
Iâm sorry.
It seems I got us into it this whole mess.
I see what youâre doing.
Iâm not blaming you.
Letâs both try our best tomorrow.
Iâm not letting you give me a false sense of security.
About our contest⦠Iâll forfeit.
I heard from everyone.
Ane-chan, they said you had to abandon the shrine you were living in and how itâs been really difficult .
And on top of that, youâre looking after your introverted younger sister.
Iâ¦canât fight against you, Ane-chan.
I know.
I know that you work harder than anyone, Ane-chan.
Hang in there.
Iâm rooting for you.
What just happened? That caught me totally off guard.
That woman doesnât make any sense.
But⦠I think I understand why everyone likes her so much.
Welcome.
Two? This the place? Youâre sure this is the right place? Hey, hey.
Isnât this place expensive? You sure itâs okay? Youâre from the Odd Jobs! The miko hussy.
Youâre working here, too?! Whoâre you calling a hussy? Whatâre you doing here?! Huh? I know someone here.
Sir, shall I call a particular girl? Call Otae-chan.
Oâ¦! Gin-san, Hasegawa-san.
Right this way.
That bitch! She called her customers here! Hot, hot, hot! Itâs been so long time since Iâve been in a place like this.
Hey, youâre gonna give us a deal, right? We havenât got much money.
Ane-chan says sheâs really struggling to pay back what she borrowed.
Iâ¦canât compete with Ane-chan.
Or so I want you to believe.
I couldnât care less what happens to you.
I have my own oath to restore my fatherâs dojo.
She tricked me! How could I have missed that?! That bitch! [Teach me! Ginpachi Sensei.]
[Question Corner.]
[Ginpachi Sakata.]
This is from âI want to be an animator and draw Gin Tama.
â I canât seem to draw Gin-sanâs hair well.
Please give me just a small hint.
All right, Iâll teach you.
His hair may appear random, but it does follow some rules.
[How to draw Gin-san.]
The key is the four cowlicks.
First, draw a normal head.
Then, draw small cowlicks on both sides of the top of his head.
Then draw cowlicks around the ears and elongate the front hair and youâre done.
[Done.
.]
Just so you know, anime is a tough job that doesnât make much money, so I wouldnât recommend it.
[Teach me! Ginpachi Sensei.]
Okay, now that Iâve taught you how to draw Gin-san, letâs do Shinpachi and Kagura next.
[How to draw Shinpachi.]
First draw what you think is a ordinary guy.
Make it lack as much personality as possible.
Then, give it glasses.
Okay⦠Done.
[Done.]
Next, how to draw Kagura.
[How to draw Kagura.]
First, remove Shinpachiâs glasses, and make the hair white.
Next, add two buns on the head.
Okayâ¦Done.
[Done.
.]
All the characters are based on Shinpachi.
If you master Shinpachi, you can draw all the characters! So, letâs Shinpachi! She tricked me! How could I have missed that?! That bitch! Shit.
Itâs still not too late.
Hi, Iâm Oryo.
Cool shades! What? You can tell? Actually, they were expensive.
So what do we do now? Can I touch your butt? Just kidding.
Iâd be better off kneading dough than grabbing your flat behind.
Oh? Youâre so turned on your nose is bleeding.
Incredible.
Sheâs already forgotten what happened two frames ago.
Such a fun customer you are.
Would you like a drink? We have Dom-Peri andâ¦Dom-Peri and Dom-Peri and Dom-Peri.
[Note: Dom-Peri is Japanese for Dom Perignon.]
[Dom-Peri Dom-Peri Dom-Peri Dom-Peri.]
[Note: written with various forms of âdonâ.]
[Shochu and water.]
Shochu and water.
You got it.
Dom-Peri, please! Somebody, call an interpreter! Dom-Peri? Brings back memories of when I worked for the Bakufu and theyâd serve it at elite events.
Itâs too expensive to pay out of my own pocket, so I never touched the stuff.
Weâll be fine with something cheaper.
Like beer.
Dom-Periâ¦Dom-Peri mixed with Dom-Peri, not beer but Dom-Peri, Dom-Peri.
Nothing but Dom-Per.
More Dom-Peri.
Say Dom-Peri.
What? What was Dom-Peri? Iâm all mixed up.
Dom-Peri.
Itâs all Dom-Peri! Theyâre ripping us off.
No doubt about it.
This is a rip-off joint! Thatâs ridiculous.
Otae-chan wouldnât do a thing like that.
Then whatâs a Dom-Peri mixed with Dom-Peri? I canât understand that.
I donât understand all this Dom-Peri or my own thoughts.
Gin-san.
You and I havenât had Dom-Peri in a while.
Dom? Is that like beating a drum? What? When did we ever have Dom Perignon? Hasegawa-san, I think your shades, and your shades, and your shades would go well with Dom-Peri.
Peri?! Thatâs odd! Youâre odd! Are my shades the only thing you can compliment?! Please, Dom.
I want to drink it, Peri.
All right, Dom? Okay, Peri? Dom-Peri! Dom-Peri! Hey, hey, hey.
Put it together and itâs Dom-Peri.
Subliminal advertising! Theyâre manipulating our subconscious minds! Cover your ears! Donât let them sway you! Excuse me.
Five Dom-Peri please! Itâs Big Daddy Matsudaira! Macchan!! Macchan!! Macchan!! Oh âDaddyâ, Iâm so happy you could make it! Forgive me, I pulled you away from work.
Itâs all right.
It was just a meeting.
Not like Edoâs going to be destroyed or anything.
But if I canât come here, I will be destroyed.
Oh you make me so happy! Thatâs Big Daddy Matsudaira! Really? Otae! That man is famous for the outrageously extravagant way he parties.
âDaddy.
â I havenât had Dom-Peri in a while.
That stuffâs like juice.
Iâd like to drink something stronger, but ah well⦠Five Dom-Peri, coming right up! Iâll serve it right away.
What a waste! Itâs spilling over.
Itâs like at a host club.
Cheers! Chug, Chugâ¦! Big Daddy, youâre wonderful.
My gosh, five bottles at once⦠Thereâs no way you can win against that⦠What? You want to beat him? Hell, we can match every one of their champagnes with 80-20 water and shochu and get higher than him.
Thatâs not what this battle is about.
She doesnât want such a lame victory.
Did you see that? This is the difference between you and I.
Otae, whatâll you do? At this rate⦠Is it okay to let her get on that kind of a roll? Hey, hey, you guys, why the long faces? Bring 10 bottles of Dom Perignon.
Kondo-san! We have an order for 10 Dom-Peri! Awesome! Otae-chan jumped ahead of Ane-chan all at once! What?! I heard whatâs going on from the hostesses.
You couldâve come to me, Otae-san.
Iâve been saving up my savings passbook as a joint account for when weâre married.
[O-Edo Bank Passbook.]
You can relax now.
I may not look it, but Iâve made quite a lot.
â¦Gorilla-san.
Donât call me G-Gorilla⦠It doesnât match this scene.
Okayâ¦Go-rilla-san.
Same thing.
Kondo! Youâre a hundred years too early to try and outshine me in Kabukicho! Shut up, lecherous old man! From tonight on, I am the King of Nightlife! Donât be ridiculous! I wonât allow even the Shogun to take away what I live for! 15 Dom-Peri! Youâre so cool, Daddy! Otae-san! Dom-Peri over here, too⦠Excuse me.
Another round of Dom-Peri with this.
You mean you already ordered? Thatâs my wallet! Nobody said âyouâre so cool!â No, youâre terrific, guy.
We all know that.
Itâs not easy to give as much as you did.
Gorilla, youâre one heck of a guerilla! All you did was change the spelling! Why are you drinking when youâre not even part of the staff? Donât worry about the details! Donât! I do! More Dom-Peri! This is a record! Another round of Dom-Peri! Another Dom-Peri! Keep the Dom-Peri coming! More and more Dom-Peri! Itâs neck to neck! Drink up! Youâre pretty good, Kondo.
But isnât your wallet nearly drained by now? Donât underestimate me.
I withdrew my entire marriage savings.
Huh?! Thereâs nothing left.
Whatâs going on? You never ordered Dom Perignon on your own so you didnât know! Itâs staggeringly expensive! It really is.
Itâs expensive! A few dozen glasses of it can wipe out your savings! "Whatâll I do? My wifeâs gonna kill me!" So youâre finished, too! Uh-oh, Otae-san⦠Kondo-san, thatâs enough.
What youâve done is plenty⦠Otae-san⦠Now all you have to do is sell this and thatâll be enough⦠Umâ¦sell that? But, thatâs a Samuraiâs soul.
Soul? You can just buy a new one.
No, I canât do that.
Letâs see some big money! Sheâs right.
Sheâs right.
If you need one, buy it used! I bought mine from an infomercial! What? You said you bought it from a wizard.
I lied! Thatâs awful.
I went to the main store, and anguished and anguished before⦠You sell your shades.
What⦠I said, go sell your shades.
And buy me a drink! Theyâre expensive, arenât they? Get going! Thatâs what you get for trying to act cool when youâre dirt broke! Look at me! I live simply, so Iâve got nothing to lose.
You, go borrow money.
Iâm saying, guys who donât have any money need to go borrow some! Thatâs why I said you punks are a hundred years too young to be playing at night.
Kids who donât know when to quit canât survive in this town.
My walletâs empty, so⦠Ane-chan, the bill please.
Whatâre you talking about? Your wallet may be empty, but your bank account isnât, is it? Hurry and make a withdrawal.
Or Iâll tell your wife everything.
Yes, you both were fantastic! Ane-chan, Otae-chan.
I have to say you both win the competition! That was a great match.
From now on, letâs work together for the sake of the club! [Kabukicho, town of greed.]
[Tonight as always.]
[Men and women replay the drama of love.]
[Though they know it is.]
[But a fleeting dream.]
[They cannot escape.]
[The fate of foolish men.]
[Ahâ¦.]
[The morning sun is blinding again today.]
Hey, Whatâs with the cheesy lyrics over our heads? Donât try to trick me.
Thatâs not going to settle anything! [Preview.]
Wow! A monstrous guy has moved in! âMy neighbor Hedoro,â he looks so scary! A florist by day, but he must be an alien conqueror by night! The next episode⦠âDo Cherries Come from Cherry Trees?â [Hedoroâs house shows up next door.
Are those demon flowers for world conquest?.]
[What is the fate of the Odd Jobs? Who must circulate the Neighborhood Notebook?.]