Gintama (2005) s02e01 Episode Script

'Once Upon a Time in China-Girl Gintama' or 'Pending Means Pending, It's Not Final'

Well, Gin Tama the anime has finally begun its second year.
But it's not like we're actually starting More like we somehow slyly snuck into this.
Correct! This is just the first step! Huh? We're not all set for the year? You fool! Don't you know how many times Gin Tama was almost pulled? Low television ratings, changes in time slot and sponsorship, complaint letters That's true.
Thank goodness, we didn't get cancelled.
Before we started airing, everyone was saying, "Hey, this is great.
We'll be a hit in prime time.
" But the moment ratings went down, they turned on us! Grown-ups are all dirty! I hate grown-ups! They sure took us off prime time fast.
In a flash What's this, "Isn't it a better time for JUMP viewers?" No matter how you put it, we got kicked outta prime! What if we keep getting bounced around and end up next to "Ladies 4"?! By the way, Otsu's song was banned from broadcast because of licensing issues.
If sponsors drop off because of such claims, this program's done for! They'll say they want to up ratings, announce that Gin Tama is good for diets and we're done for! You're right! Watching anime as a diet?! There's no such thing! The producer said his stomach hurts and looks skinnier every time I see him! That wasn't from a diet.
Anyway, Gin-san, don't scare us! Our second season is about to start! Shut up! That's the very reason I'm saying we can't let down our guard! If we think, "Oh boy, we can coast for one more year," we'll be dropped in six months! Huh?! Seriously?! Gin-chan, is Gin Tama going to end? That's why we have to do whatever we can! Have to do whatever we can? That's! That's? That comes after the commercial.
[Gin Tama the anime's second year has begun.
But there's something we have to do.
.]
Since the anime Gin Tama is beginning its second year, there is something we must do! Something we must do? That's That's? Put some boost in it! [Put some boost in it!.]
Put some boost in it! The words mean just that.
Programs that have slumped or programs that didn't get a swift start get some boost and strategies are instigated to hike up its popularity.
However, [However.]
it can get rather difficult with writers in an uproar, and sometimes the boost fails.
And any action can be too late.
So success is never guaranteed.
So speak up if you have any good ideas about how to make Gin Tama better.
Well The easiest and fastest solution is to change the title of the program.
For example Gin Tama 2.
Or Gin Tamas.
There's also Z and X or Second Season.
[Note: X and Z, as in Dragon Ball X, etc.
.]
[Note: Turn A as in Turn A Gundam.
.]
What's the meaning of G, V and Turn A? Yeah, I think V stands for something.
How about we add something sad to make it seem like it's the final one? Like "Farewell," or "Forever," or "Complete Version"? [Note: This refers to the anime Battleship Yamato.]
We just have to say, "A new journey begins," and start over again.
Hey Gin-san They're still fighting about that, so don't bring it up.
I know! Let's get Makki to sing the theme song! [Note: This refers to pop singer Noriyuki Makihara.
.]
I said they're still fighting about that! Then how about we use, "More of" or "Again" like the Abunai series? In that case, "Tamatama Gin Tama" sounds better.
What does that mean?! Hmm Well, just changing the title won't fool viewers these days.
If we're gonna do something, we have to go all out.
Like changing to a main robot or inventing new weapons.
Power up in a way that's obvious.
This anime has no robots or transformers.
Oh Come on! You're hopeless.
Maybe it's not the robot we should change, but the main character! Are you serious? Kagura-chan? Changing main characters sounds good.
Huh?! From next week on, I'll be the main character! We'll go forth with Gin Tama like this! The man swore his eternal love.
And the woman swore to return his love.
But then A single gun shot ["Once Upon a Time in China-Girl".]
[Gin Tama.]
A chance encounter.
Two people fall in love And live a simple life.
But then One single bowl of noodles She's still eating that! The flow of time separates the two Kagura!! Gin-chan! Then the stage turns towards outer-space.
What could Catherine be scheming? I said I, Catherine, will rule! And, what is this? The plan to destroy earth by Otose of Teradaya?! A young girl tossed around by fate!! The best in the Edo film world have been gathered to create this epic drama, [Directed by: Sonomanma Miyazaki (Puke Wars).]
[Screenplay by: Kenta Nukesaku (Alien vs Yakuza).]
[Music by: Joe Hisaishi (My Neighbor Pedro).]
[Original Story by: Gasuko Hajida (Life is full of demons, curse you!).]
Gin Tama: Once Upon a Time in China-Girl.
You have yet to know the real Gin Tama.
[Broadcast starts next week.
.]
Oh, so touching! Quit using my name without permission! Hey, what's this? At times like these, why don't you come to me for help? Otose, when'd you get here? Running a store and an anime are basically the same things.
You give customers what they want.
And supplement whatever's missing.
What's missing? I've been thinking, the things you do are childish.
Fools are fine.
But it gets pretty boring after a while.
She means you lack a refreshing sexiness.
Evoke dreams, evoke happiness That's the kind of story you must create.
Oh no! I'm late, I'm late! Oww! [Note: Japanese School Girl slang for Catherine.]
Owww! No way! It's Cassapee! Otossechi, are you late too? [Note: Japanese School Girl slang for Otose.]
These two attend Kabukicho middle school and are childhood friends.
They're average girls, but They have a secret, which is Oh no There's someone about to get their soul sucked out of their butt.
[Note: In folklore, kappa or water imps will suck out your entrails/life force from your anus.
.]
Collecting debts! No mercy! Yes! These two are [Note: Pretty Cure parody.
.]
Magical Mature Females! We are Tama Cure Silver Soul! We will not lose!! Nuts, Kiss Chocolates, Persimmon Seeds! We'll fix things that are dried and old! The customer's always right! The friendship these two share will protect the world! We are Tama Cure Silver Soul! Do you want us all to vomit to death?! You can keep fighting till the end of the century! You're revolting! Instead of evoking dreams, you're evoking fear and despair! I agree.
Zura It's not Zura.
It's Katsura.
How long has he been sitting here? And he's totally ready to join the conversation.
If you're going for it, you need something cutting edge.
How about this? [Check it out!.]
Yo Zura Wazzup? It ain't Zura.
It's Katsura.
What about work? I work at a ramen shop right now.
Huh? Fired? I'm going to save up my money and leave this town someday.
[You're genius.
.]
[Your dreams will certainly come true.
.]
Love It can be so strong Love It can be so sweet [The Pork Back Rib (Rose) of Versailles.]
If you believe, dreams will always come true.
[Takarazura Opera Company -Gin Tama-.]
How about something like that? Something like that won't work.
Just what is your dream, anyway? Huh? Sister! How unusual for the three of you to be together.
We're not together, Shin-chan.
We just met up by chance.
I don't meet up with anyone other than Gin-san around town.
I've never heard that before.
And what? More troublesome guys? What're you doing here? Isn't it obvious? I heard you're thinking of a boosting strategy.
The least you could've done was called me.
What? You have an idea? This sort of thing is my specialty.
I mean, I'm boosting my life, you know? Now listen, the way you change Stimulation! Stimulation brings on more stimulation.
That's the base power of boosting! For the second year, you need masochism.
This era is crying out for sadism! [Banned in 42 states in the United States.
.]
[A chilling, suspenseful thriller.
.]
[NEVER watch this movie alone.
.]
If pushing won't work, trying pulling.
How about my idea for sadism? And shoot for prime ti--! That's not going to make us better.
You'll only get us moved to fringe late-night programming! Besides, how can something like that be approved, you idiot?! Oh I think I prefer masochism, after all.
Hey, just leave these things to me.
Huh?! That just won't do, Sarutobi-san.
What? What this program lacks is Struggle.
Victory and Friendship.
And when we defeat a foe, a stronger one is waiting in the wings.
That's the kind of exciting adventure grabbing kids these days.
From ancient times, there have been tales about the seven gems and the six brave warriors who searched for them.
[Note: This refers to the famous legend "Satomi Hakkenden.
".]
Let's go!! The warm friendship of youth Never mind me, go! I will not fail to protect you! Bankai! [Note: reference to a term from the anime "Bleach.
".]
Gum-gum! [Note: reference to a term from the anime "One Piece.
".]
The ultimate fantasy of the year! Gin Tama the Movie: DragonBleaPeace! No way! There's way too many risky references! We'll capture the hearts of the youth with this! And before that, the higher-ups will grab hold of our hearts and crush them.
That's whyjust leave it to me.
At times like these, you need a glowing success story.
["You can't watch this masterpiece without bawling your eyes out.
" - Daily Edo Newspaper.]
The entire world cried.
["Bravo!! This movie will definitely change history.
" - O-Edo Weekly Newspaper.]
The touching success storyMadao.
[A must see for the broken-hearted.
I've never seen such a compelling human drama.
" - Edo Times Newspaper.]
Starting tomorrow, you don't have to come in.
A man who has lost all hope and a man who forgot about love.
For them, a strange journey begins.
The true way of life is found here.
A Dumb Old Retarded Dork Madao.
Road of Gin Tama.
What the heck?! Who changed my delusions?! It's not a success story at all.
No, this may turn into a hit.
It may boost the image of social commentary anime.
No one told me!! Let's go with Tama Cure! No way! We should use my story.
Hey, no one's heard my sto--! The age for sadism is now! It's perseverance and courage! The jig is up! Hey, hey What's the big idea? Were you invited? Or are you here to make trouble? Really.
No one called any one of you here.
We got word that Katsura is here.
Where is he? I dunno.
Go home! Who gave you permission to stay?! I don't know.
Anyway, turn over Katsura! Otherwise, we'll haul all of you in! We'll haul you guys! Don't think you can do whatever you please just because you're the police! What?! Anyway, what are you all discussing? Well, Gin Tama is going into its second year and we were discussing what should be done.
How stupid! Don't be so blunt! Unless we boost up ratings and succeed, we're all going down! You won't be able to suck on your beloved mayonnaise! Boost it up? [World Gin Tama Cooking Show.]
Welcome to the World Gin Tama Cooking Show.
Now I'm going to introduce some great dishes.
First, get some mayonnaise ready.
Right on a plate.
Steve, Steve, I know, I know.
Don't keep tasting it, right? Then you put more mayonnaise andIt's done.
Oh! This is the Gin Tama Cooking Show! See you next week That's it? You coward! I'll ask the Chief about this! Kondo-san? Well, I don't think he needs to know.
Forget about the gorilla.
No, don't be shy.
I fully understand all your concerns! Not another troublemaker.
Just relax and leave it to me Boosting it up is done like this One night, due to the pressures and worries of his work, Isao Kondo ran away from the Shinsengumi.
[Isao Kondo, Shinsengumi Chief.]
And he encountered a girl in town.
[Tae Shimura, Press Reporter.]
Upon discovering the man was the Chief of the Shinsengumi, she took him to Kabukicho hoping for the scoop of the century.
However The time to part had arrived.
At the very end, the two exchange words as their true selves.
I have a question for the Chief.
What is your favorite town? Kabukicho.
It's definitely Kabukicho.
Romantic Love Story Roman Gin Tama.
[Note: Refers to "Roman Holiday" with Gregory Peck, as the reporter, and Audrey Hepburn, as the princess.
.]
How's that? Huh?! Roman Gin Tama?! Are you crazy?! More like the "Escape of the Gorilla!" Besides, it isn't Rome! It's Kabukicho! Wait, wait, wait! I have another idea too.
Otae-san! Oh, Otae-san! Wherefore art thou, Otae-san?! Otae and Kondo: The Story of Two Star-Crossed Lovers.
[Otae and Kondo.]
Enough! He's taking the princess's lines! He's not a princess, he's a gorilla! Oh, Kondo-san! You're being rude to Shakespeare Not only that But it's also a supreme insult to me! I sentence you to death! Chief, if it's not shocking and exciting, it won't sell.
I have an excellent idea.
[We're not able to show you the rest.
Please wait a moment.
.]
Poinsettia! S-Sorry! I didn't say it on purpose.
Kamonanba kamonanba kamonanba.
Everyone, hang in there! It's just a psychological attack on our senses! Grab onto something! I'm sorry.
[Note: "Ginpatsu" means "Silver Hair.
".]
What is it, Ginpatsu? Oh, you were just so close.
You guys were so noisy, Koro ran away while we were taking a walk.
What's the big fuss? Well I seetrying to get some boost, eh? Then I'll give you a brilliant idea.
No, I didn't say anything.
I'm not finished explaining.
It's news.
What the people of the world need is love and peace.
An expansive meadow A secret jungle It is there, a prince was born Months and years pass and the prince grows up into a fine young man.
But one day In the peaceful jungle danger approaches.
All right.
Now, with vast space as his stage, the Prince of the Jungle begins a new journey to find new friends! The Prince of Jungle.
And where's the "love and peace"?! You abandoned your friends! In life, you have to know when to give up.
Hey! A monkey? You made me a monkey?! I don't want that either! Shinpachi is the only monkey! Only me?! What do you mean?! My story is still the best.
That's why I hate amateurs! Speak for yourself! I think when we look at all the options, my idea is the best.
Just who are you? Just passing by, I'm Captain Katsura.
Whoever you are, my idea has the most heart and effort.
Isn't it going to be just another "The Dog Food of the World" kind of program? Shut up! Hey! Toshi, stop! My idea is the best.
No way, gorilla! My idea is best.
No, we should go by age and that's me.
No, my idea is the best.
No, mine My success story is! Hey everyone I haven't even had a word in edgewise.
Shut up, four-eyes! You don't even have any character goods on sale, so shut up! [Note: Character goods as in tie-in merchandise.
.]
And that's been really bothering me, too Shut up!! I'd expected it, but this is really turning into a lot of drama.
Anyway, since I'm the main character, I will decide! Gin-chan You're right.
You should make a firm decision right now! Leave it to me.
This is my answer! Sit and watch! Huh? Nothing's started.
Not only did it not start, the ending is already over.
Oh See? Nothing's settled.
I figured as much.
It was a bad idea to leave it up to you guys in the first place.
What're you saying, Elizabeth? I'm not Elizabeth today.
Huh? Who are you? C-Could you bethe direc? That's right.
I'm sorry.
I'll do it right from next week on.
I'm really sorry.
[Preview.]
No way.
This can't be happening.
You've gotta be kidding! ["Milk Should be Served at Body Temperature.
".]
[Gin-san has an illegitimate child?! Is he guilty?!.]
[We did it because I was upset.
Now we apologize.
Next time we're aiming for a serious Gin Tama.
.]

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